White Hollow Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fake Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Awesome! I like it, if I indeed would have to give constructive criticism I would suggest deeper description on feelings and the boys thoughts, for example additional description about his despair when he left his mansion after witnessing his father being stabbed through his chest. I'll have to read at least one more chapter 'til I can make an RP out of it, so I get the feel of the atmosphere. Overall good job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Hollow Posted September 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Thanks you. Yes, after reading it the second time, I felt that too. Also, I will post in a spoiler a list of the Vampires, Powers and other important elements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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