manji Posted August 28, 2011 Report Share Posted August 28, 2011 well first off let me just say hello to everyone that takes the time to look at this page. i discovered this page last night and a few friends went crazy making some YGO cards. since i feel like im jumping into a pool of sharks here ill just post one or two cards here. creative criticism is encouraged. also i used to play YGO back when it first came out so my OCG may be old or not even up to date. i will be looking over any and all the OCG i can find on the sight that will help me after this post is up. so without further delay here comes the cards. [img]http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/634/477042.jpg[/img] [img]http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/634/477042.jpg[/img] "Hong Meiling comes on to the board with 5 Chi Tokens that she may use to increase either her ATK or DEF by 300 each turn. Only one Chi Token can be played per turn." if you enjoy these cards and care to see some others i will be more than happy to continually update and show more cards, thanks again for taking time to look at my humble cards. all pics are from danbooru which have adult images so if you really want to see them better go google it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PAINTAIN GOD OF DUNDA MT. Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Hong has a massive OCG Error: Tokens are Monsters. I think you mean counters... I think I can help you with the OCG: "When this card has 5 Chi Tokens, increase this monster's ATK by 300 during each of your Standby Phases." I think thats what you mean... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manji Posted August 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 thanks Star ill fix that up right now. your right i did mean counters though at the time i made them it was pretty late at night so i used the first word that came to my head (tokens being as such since my most recent card game i played was MtG). if there are anything else wrong let me know (n.n) *EDIT* [img]http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/2734/477042p.jpg[/img] as recommend i switch tokens for counters and in the process of doing the same for any other card that mentions the word "token" seeing how i made a mistake, strangely though its not really considered as so much of a change that it will allow me to save the card. ill be seeing if it is simply on my end or what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yairnet Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Those cards have A LOT of OCG errors especially, Hong Meiling but, nice pics 6/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manji Posted August 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 thank you Yair as i reread through the cards ill admit it didnt sound right to me either so i will be working on it. heres another card i was working on. again constructive criticism is appreciated. also if you know where to point me to a post with OCG to learn from that would be helpful. [img]http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/634/477042.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larxene Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 Some OCG issues which have already been pointed out, yeah. For example you said 'board' instead of 'field. The spell should be a Continuous spell as well, by the way. Also. I'd avoid using pics with text in them. Even if it is Japanese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolta Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 Go to Safebooru or Pixiv to find better pics... Everything else has been mentioned and pointed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larxene Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 [quote name='♪♫ SF-A2★Miki ♫♪' timestamp='1314783242' post='5481308'] Go to Safebooru or Pixiv to find better pics... Everything else has been mentioned and pointed out. [/quote] S/he already said they got pics from Danbooru. Which has even more pics than Safebooru does. There's no real difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yairnet Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 [quote name='manji' timestamp='1314762625' post='5481040'] thank you Yair as i reread through the cards ill admit it didnt sound right to me either so i will be working on it. heres another card i was working on. again constructive criticism is appreciated. also if you know where to point me to a post with OCG to learn from that would be helpful. [img]http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/634/477042.jpg[/img] [/quote] You need to write this text like this: After 3 turns of this card's activation, all monsters with "Meiling" in their name gain 300 ATK and 800 DEF. At your 3rd End Phase, remove 3 Chi Counters from 1 monster on your field with "Meiling" in its name and remove this card from play. P.S:you can also say "Banish" instead of "Remove From Play". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manji Posted September 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 again Yair and all who take the time to look at my cards, thank you for your input and i will be adding the changes to the cards as necessary. dont worry if your dont see the cards yet with the new and updated wording as i am A) being lazy to not post it. and planning to post any and all cards that had been redone together if possible. also seeing how some of you might be knowing where im heading with this set, i am open to any and all suggestions you may have to keep the set powerful yet still balanced. well at any rate i do have another card i have been working on for some time, each time being refined a bit (hopefully for the better lol) but still ill admit even this card may have ocg errors seeing how i havent worked with YGO cards since it first came to the states but hopefully i am improving even if it is slowly. again critiques and comments are welcomed as well as any help you may have to help my OCG as it seems i need alot of help on that lol. [img]http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/634/477042.jpg[/img] incase you cant read it the card says the following: "When this card enters play, place 7 Chi counters on this card. If this card was Tribute Summoned with the card "Hong Meiling" you may add up to half (rounded down) of the unused Chi Counters to Meiling. Add 700 ATK or DEF for each counter you remove. This effect can only be used once per turn." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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