Need help with OCG text

[Killey]

I created a thread in the realistic cards section a while back on an incomplete card set based on Arcanas and the new Tuner/Synchro monsters. Anyways, after re-reading my card text I've decided to completely re-tune the wording and effects. However, I need some help with the OCG wording on most of the cards. I'll post the sections I'm concerned with to prevent this post from being long and tedious.

 

Anyways, the concept for the cards is that the monsters would gain counters that I called Arcana counters. By tributing a certain number of Arcana Counters you can activate an effect. So how do I phrase this exactly? What I have currently is:

 

"By removing Arcana Counters from this card, activate one of the following effects:

• 1 Arcana Counter: effect goes here

• 2 Arcana Counters: effect goes here

• etc..."

 

Does this sound right or is there a different way to word this? As for his Synchro monster the card text for it was:

 

"This monster cannot be Special Summoned except when the total Level of the above monsters on your side of the field matches the Level of this card. When this card is successfully Special Summoned, put all Arcana Counters from “The Arcanic Crusader - Zalren” onto this card (max 5). When this card is face-up on the field “The Arcanic Crusader - Zalren” no longer accumulates Arcana Counters. If “The Arcanic Crusader - Zalren” is removed from the field, return this card to your Extra Deck during the End Phase. By removing Arcana Counters from this card, activate one of the following effects:

• 2 Arcana Counters: Select 2 Zones in your opponents Spell & Trap Card Zone. While this card is face-up on the field, your opponent cannot use the designated Zones."

 

There's more to his effect but the wording for that is fine, at least I think so. Anyways, the two sections I'm concerned about are:

 

"When this card is successfully Special Summoned, put all Arcana Counters from “The Arcanic Crusader - Zalren” onto this card (max 5). When this card is face-up on the field “The Arcanic Crusader - Zalren” no longer accumulates Arcana Counters." and "Select 2 Zones in your opponents Spell & Trap Card Zone. While this card is face-up on the field, your opponent cannot use the designated Zones."

 

The wording doesn't sound right to me. What I'm trying to say in the first two lines is that when the synchro monster is successfully special summoned you take all of the Arcana Counters from his tuner and you put it on the synchro monster. The second sentence of the effect is to say that when the synchro monster is on the field, its tuner does not gain any Arcana Counters. However, I would like to have two wordings for this. One to say that the tuner monster cannot gain Arcana Counters by its own effect and another that says that the tuner monster cannot gain Arcana Counters when it's synchro monster is on the field. Meaning that any magic/effect monsters/trap cards that have the effect of putting Arcana Counters on something would not work on the tuner monster while its Synchro monster is on the field.

 

I have another monster that I believe has an interesting effect but the wording is a bit awkward and needs some fine tuning.

 

"When this card is Special Summoned, flip your Deck upside down. You cannot conduct your Draw Phase while this card is face-up on your side of the field. Discard 10 cards from the top of your Deck during each of your Standby Phases. If this card is destroyed, return your Deck to the correct position. Then shuffle your Deck."

 

I'll post several other cards that I need assistance with.

 

"Increase the ATK of a monster equipped with this card by 300 points. If a monster equipped with this card destroys a monster as a result of battle, put 1 Arcana Counter on this card (max 5). This card is not destroyed if the monster equipped with this card is destroyed. The controller of this card pays 500 Life Points during each of their Standby Phases. If they do not, destroy the monster equipped with this card. If a monster equipped with this card is destroyed, control of this card returns to the owner. During your main phase, select 1 monster on the field. By Tributing 1 Arcana Counter on this card, equip this card to the selected monster."

 

"When a monster you control is destroyed, put 1 Arcana Counter on this card. During your Main Phase, you may Tribute this card to Special Summon a monster with “The Arcana” in its card name, ignoring the Summoning conditions. Put the maximum number of Arcana Counters on the monster Special Summoned by this effect. During your End Phase, remove the Special Summoned monster from play."

 

"This card can only be activated when there is a face-up, “The Arcanic Crusader – Katzell” and at least 1 “The Arcana – Silver Justice” on your side of the field. When a monster with "The Arcanic Crusader" in its card name is destroyed, Tribute all face-up “The Arcana - Silver Justice” on your side of the field to Special Summon the destroyed monster and the “The Arcana” written in the cards text, in the face-up attack position."

 

For the above card, what I'm trying to say is that when a monster is destroyed with "The Arcanic Crusader" in its name tribute the monster I listed and special summon the destroyed monster and it's corresponding synchro monster that is listed in the monsters card text.

[Brushfire]

OCG stands for "Official Card Grammer". If someone says you have OCG Errors, that means there is something in your card that wouldn't be put that way in a real card, for example:

 

Name: the noob

Stars: 6

Description: this card cannot be normal summoned or set. this card can only be special summoned by removing 3 "noob cards" from play. when this card is special summoned successfully, pick up 2 cards from your deck and put them in your hand.

 

What it should be:

 

Name: The Noob

Stars: 6

Description: This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing 3 "Noob cards" from play. When this card is Special Summoned successfully, draw 2 cards from your deck.

 

In one of your cards:

 

"Increase the ATK of a monster equipped with this card by 300 points. If a monster equipped with this card destroys a monster as a result of battle, put 1 Arcana Counter on this card (max 5). This card is not destroyed if the monster equipped with this card is destroyed. The controller of this card pays 500 Life Points during each of their Standby Phases. If they do not, destroy the monster equipped with this card. If a monster equipped with this card is destroyed, control of this card returns to the owner. During your main phase, select 1 monster on the field. By Tributing 1 Arcana Counter on this card, equip this card to the selected monster."

 

It should be:

 

"Increase the ATK of a monster equipped with this card by 300 points. If a monster equipped with this card destroys a monster as a result of battle, put 1 Arcana Counter on this card (max 5). The controller of this card pays 500 Life Points during each of their Standby Phases. If they do not, destroy the monster equipped with this card. If a monster equipped with this card is destroyed, the controller of this card returns to the owner. During your main phase, select 1 monster on the field. By Tributing 1 Arcana Counter on this card, equip this card to the selected monster."

 

I have no idea what "Arcana Counters" are, so I just went with what I thought. In this card you have put some things in twice, or made mistakes.

 

Hope that helped.

[Killey]

That helps a lot for that card. I didn't like the wording for it but didn't know how to fix it. Much appreciation for the assistance.

[Brushfire]

That helps a lot for that card. I didn't like the wording for it but didn't know how to fix it. Much appreciation for the assistance.

 

No problem, it's good to have helped.