TheGameTripleH Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Ik I am new here, but I am a Fan Fic expert for a long time. I used to make Fan Fics for my play at my school. So cut me some slack, this is my first Yu-Gi-Oh! Series and Fan Fic. Logo: Theme: - IK it's WWE Based but it perfectly fits this series. Plot for Season 1: A young man named, Ryan Derricks has lost his friend he knew when he was a little kid by this evil duelist stranger named Kyrand, the next day Kyrand hosts a big tournament, and Ryan must join the tournament for his friend. He meets new friend along the way such as, his best friend Amber Shrag, the comedian Zack Litrand, and Paul Lawrance. These four heroes shall join the tournament not only for Ryan's buddy but for the world as well. Will Ryan prevail? Or will Kyrand destroy the world. Find out in this very awesome first Season of: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel of Destiny Episode 1: Ryan's First Duel Ryan: At last, I am now 15 years old and I am ready for my first duel disk, and most of all buy a deck at the shop. I always dreamed of being the number 1 duelist in the world and I attempt to make it come true. I always wanted to face Yugi, Jaden or Yusei in a duel all in my life. YEAH! And I will gonna make it come true. Mom: Ryan, are you ready? Ryan: Yeah mom, just a sec. -Gets dressed- Im coming. -They arrive at the Card Shop- Ryan: At last! Cashier: Can I help you? Ryan: I have come here for a deck. Cashier: Are you 15? Ryan: Why yes I am. Cashier: Very Well, pick a deck. Ryan: Let's see...Dragon of the Earth...this will have Nature Dragons. Warrior's Last Sword it will have Machine Knights and some Warriors.........PERFECT! I love Warriors, Mam, I deck I choose is Warrior's Last Sword. Cashier: Very well ^^ Here you go. -Ryan gives her money- Ryan: Thank you very much! Don't worry, this deck will be taken care of. -Goes into the Dueling Headquarters- Hello I have come to register as a duelist. I am 15 and I came here for a duel disk. ???: Very well what is your name? Ryan: Ryan Derricks. ???: Ok Ryan, here is your duel disk, just sign here, here and here. -Ryan Signs- Ryan: Thank you so much. Duel Disk Preview: Mom: Ok Ryan time to go to duel academy. Ryan: Whats a Duel Academy? Mom: Its a school where you learn more about duel monsters, by the way, I know you know how to play its just you need to learn some strategies and make new friends. Love you son, have a nice first day. Ryan: Love you too, have a nice day at work. :)???: Hahahaha! Well well well, If it isn't Shrag, where are you going red-head? ???2: None of your business???: -shoves her- Ryan: Hey! You leave her alone, Brandon! Brandon: Oh WELL! FINALLY SOMEBODY HAS A DUEL DISK AND A DECK FINALLY! WELL DERRICKS IF YOU WANT SHRAG THEN YOU GONNA HAVE TO DUEL ME FIRST! IF YOU WIN, SHRAG IS FREE TO GO, IF I WIN, SHE GOES WITH ME! Ryan: You got yourself a duel. R: 8000B: 8000 Brandon: Since I challenged you I'll go first. GET READY! I'll Summon Brogan Reaper in ATK mode. ATK: 0* = 1 Ryan(Thinking): Why would Brandon play a monster with no ATK points. Unless he has a plan! Brandon: I'll Place 1 card Face-Down and end my turn. Let's see what you got Derricks! Ryan: WITH PLEASURE! -Draws a card and sees his hand- SWEET!I'll Summon Long Hair Rose in ATK Mode.ATK: 1700* = 4 Now my Rose attack his Brogan Reaper with Rose Pedal Slash! Brandon: I don't think so, Activate Trap: Brogan Defense! This stops your monster from attacking my Brogan Reaper, however I must discard 1 Brogan monster from my hand, and I choose Brogan Falcon. Then my Falcon's Special Ability activates whenever it's discard from my hand, I can Special Summon it to the field in DEF mode during my next Standby Phase. Ryan: I place 1 card face-down and end my turn. Brandon: Then it's my move! Thank's to my Brogan Falcon's Special Ability I can Special Summon it from the graveyard in DEF mode. ARISE my Falcon! DEF: 800*(T) = 2 By the way not only my Falcon has returned but its Also a Tuner Monster and then I summon this, Brogue Magician. ATK: 1000* = 3 and now I tune my Falcon with my Reaper and my Magician. This duel is over. 2 + 3 + 1 = 6 I Synchro Summon, Brogan Flareman ATK: 2200* = 6 Brogan Flareman attack his Long Hair Rose!Firestorm Burst!Ryan: Don't be so sure! I activate my trap, Rose Deflector! With Long Hair Rose on the field, your Flareman loses half of it's ATK points and adds them to my Long Hair Rose! However after activation, my Rose is automatically destroyed.ATK: 1100* = 6 ATK: 2800 * = 4 Rose Pedal Slash! B: 6900 Brandon: I activate my trap Brogan Discard Machine! Now this card takes quite a punch, a punch for you that is. Brogan Discard Machine activates during Battle Phase, when a monster with 1900 ATK points or less attacks a Brogan monster you must discard 1 card from your deck in order to Attack, Derricks. Ryan: Wrong I activate, Mystical Space Typhoon! Demolish that Machine of his. With that, I end my turn.-Rose gets destroyed- Brandon: Very well, my turn! And you got no monsters to protect you, Derricks. I summon Brogan Dwarf!ATK: 1000 * = 3 Attack his life points directly! Ryan: Not so fast, Brandon! I activate the Special Ability of my Senro Dinra from my hand. It activates when you direct an attack when you have a monster less than 4 levels. I get to discard my Senro Dinra then I can bring back a monster from my graveyard with an attack of 2000 or less Warrior monster. Return to me, my Hair Rose. ATK: 1700 * = 4 Brandon: I end my turn! Ryan: That was your last chance, Brandon! Now I can get to win this duel the hard way.I activate the Spell, Crowl's Axe. This legendary Axe allows me to Special Summon, Machine Knight, Crowl, then it gets equipped with my Axe. ATK: 1600 * = 4 Next, I activate my Face-Down card, Machine Staircase. -Earthquake happens as a red long poles appear behind me- This maybe just long steel posts but looks can be deceiving. I activate Step by Step. Thanks to this spell card I can get to add 3 Stair Tokens to my Staircase. TKN: 3 And every turn of your Standby Phase Brandon, you must select if you want to discard three cards from your hand, or lose 300 life points. So that will be later on, but for now every turn, 1 stair token appears so after this turn it will become 4 Tokens. Your move Brandon! Brandon: I choose to lose 400 life points B: 6500 Soon Shrag will be on my side, I summon a new beast, you may of destroyed my Brogues but you will never bypass these monsters, I summon, A - Tyrannobot ATK: 1700 * = 4 I activate my Tyrannobot's Special Ability, I can get rid of 1 card from my hand shuffle it from my deck, and draw 1 extra card once per turn. -Takes 1 shuffles and draws- Im not done yet, next I summon C - Tricerbot. ATK: 400 * = 2 Ryan: hold on you already summoned a monster! Brandon: Perhaps but thanks to Tricerbot's Special Ability when he gets drawn by a card effect he is automatically summoned to the field, and most importantly you lose 600 points of damage. R: 7400 Brandon: Now since my Tyrannobot and your Rose is on the field they are both 1700, but not for long, next I discard E - Pyterobot from my hand, in exchange my Tyrannobot gets an extra 200 points. ATK: 1900 * = 4 Brandon: What are you gonna do now? Trust me! You will never bypass my monsters, it's over for you DERRICKS! To Be Continued... Stick for more every Wednesday! Also on the next episode, I wont be using text effects anymore because its not coming up too well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Once upon a time, a military project was initiated to create a network of computers for the sharing of information. The project proved so successful that it spread beyond the military into the civilian world, until eventually it became fundamental to all aspects of society. There were those who feared that it would destroy the world by becoming infected with some sort of artificial intelligence, but the true outcome was far worse: it became infected by natural stupidity. With terrible fanfiction now free to expand beyond obscure fanzines to be seen by the whole world and every ten-year-old with a keyboard capable of posting a story, terrible fanfics have spread wide and grown in number. These horrible monstrosities conceal the rare brilliant fanfics while destroying the brains of all who read them. Such awful stories must be opposed. They are our opponents. They are our enemies. They are our foes. If you are a fan of quality fanfics but you are a foe of mediocre-to-bad fanfics, then you've come to the wrong place - because today is a day for Foe Fiction. Stand back, everyone, for we are in the presence... of an expert. Ik I am new here, but I am a Fan Fic expert for a long time. Indeed, as you can tell by this expert's impeccable grammar in his introduction, he is truly a master of creative writing. And he is recognized as such by academic institutions: I used to make Fan Fics for my play at my school. After all the funding cuts President Biden made to the education system in order to continue running experiments here without raising taxes on the obscenely rich, I'm surprised the school still has plays, let alone plays of a student who writes fanfiction. This is a true testament to TheGameTripleH, who is clearly such an expert in writing that we can have only the highest expectatio- So cut me some slack, this is my first Yu-Gi-Oh! Series and Fan Fic. -excuse me, I meant to say that TheGameTripleH was pleading inexperience and wanted us to forgive him if this didn't turn out well. He's an expert, but we should cut him some slack. Now, it seems that this is one of those fanfics that likes to pretend it's an actual anime series as opposed to a written story, which is never a good sign. So let's play the Fanfic-That-Thinks-It's-A-Show Drinking Game! First of all, take a drink for a logo that tries to make it look more like an actual televised series... Logo: Yeah, that GooglePaint makes this look so much more professional. I remember that time in Yu-Gi-Oh! GX when the animators got bored and just scribbled an entire episode in crayon. Don't you? Now, drink for the presence of a soundtrack: Theme: - IK it's WWE Based but it perfectly fits this series. I'll save you the trouble of following the link; it's a generic song in which some guy declares that he will be badass. Since TheGameTripleH is apparently merciful enough to want ot save us the trouble of actually reading his story, he was kind enough to give us this plot summary: Plot for Season 1: Ooh, we have seasons instead of books or parts or anything else that makes sense in written form? That's worth another drink! A young man named, Ryan Derricks has lost his friend he knew when he was a little kid by this evil duelist stranger named Kyrand, Oh no! Not Ryan Derricks' friend he knew when he was a little kid! He was the best friend Ryan Derricks ever had that he knew when he was a little kid! How could he ave been lost by this evil duelist stranger? The horror! the next day Kyrand hosts a big tournament, and Ryan must join the tournament for his friend. It's a good thing Ryan Derricks' friend has such a good friend as Ryan Derricks to fight for him. Because Ryan Derricks cares about his friends. Especially this friend. The one he knew when he was a little kid. You know, that friend. He meets new friend along the way such as, his best friend Amber Shrag, Ryan and Amber were best friends before they even met. That's how deep their bond of friendship is. It's almost as deep as the friendship between Ryan and, uh, that other friend of his whose name Ryan totally remembers. the comedian Zack Litrand, and Paul Lawrance. Oh boy, wow! Paul Lawrence is my favourite character who has never appeared in anything else and about whom I know absolutely nothing beyond his name and whom I have been given absolutely no reason to care about! Now I feel REALLY motivated to read this story! These four heroes shall join the tournament not only for Ryan's buddy but for the world as well. Yeah, the entire first season is apparently a Rescue Arc for a character whose name isn't important enough to be mentioned. Why exactly did TheGameHHH think this introduction would make people want to read this? Will Ryan prevail? Or will Kyrand destroy the world. Find out in this very awesome first Season of: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel of Destiny Er, if there's a second season, I'm assuming the world survives. Sorry for not posting another review for quite some time. Things have been busy here after the first test run, and there was a big lockdown after it was discovered that the dimensional portal was sabotaged, so I didn't even have internet for a long time. And even then, every time I sat down to write this review, I kept being distracted by this music. Anyhow, let's pretend we somehow still had an interest in this story after that plot summary and dive right into... Episode 1: Ryan's First Duel Episodes instead of chapters! Drink! Ryan: At last, Script format! Drink! ...ah, that feels goooooood. I am now 15 years old and I am ready for my first duel disk, and most of all buy a deck at the shop. Our hero doesn't even own a deck. He wants to be the very best like no one ever was and save the world, but he doesn't even own a deck yet. I always dreamed of being the number 1 duelist in the world and I attempt to make it come true. Indeed, I attempt to make this dream come true by... never buying any Duel Monsters cards this whole time? Oh, and, um, there's random variation between past and present tense, which pretending this is happening onscreen can easily cause, so, er, let's drink! I always wanted to face Yugi, Jaden or Yusei in a duel all in my life. YEAH! And I will gonna make it come true. But Yugi, Jaden, and Yusei live in different time perio- screw it, let's move on. Mom: Ryan, are you ready? Ryan: Yeah mom, just a sec. -Gets dressed- Im coming. Wow, what an exciting scene. Behold the deep and subtle personalities of these characters. -They arrive at the Card Shop- Note the complete lack of any sort of description of the setting. That's what you get for writing in script format as if this were a televised series, so... another drink! Ryan: At last! Cashier: Can I help you? I love the idea of Ryan spouting completely random rants to any random person like a local cashier that he meets. Ryan: At last, owning a deck is within my grasp! Soon the world shall fear my power!Bystander: Er, that's very nice, but I only asked you if you could make change for a twent-Ryan: I shall duel Yugi and save the world! Oh, and maybe also my lifelong friend to whom I am very close. ...why are the words all fuzzy? Ryan: I have come here for a deck. Cashier: Are you 15? Ryan: Why yes I am. Cashier: Very Well, pick a deck. You need t' be fifteen to own childrens' trading cards in dis universe? ...that makes so little sense that I think I needs anotha drink. Ryan: Let's see...Dragon of the Earth...this will have Nature Dragons. Warrior's Last Sword it will have Machine Knights and some Warriors.........PERFECT! I love Warriors, Mam, I deck I choose is Warrior's Last Sword. He not only didn' own any cards but also wasn't familar... famelor... didn't know what deck he wants? Does this chump even know the rules of the card game? Has he really spent the last fifteen years being totally igno... not knowing anything about the game that was supposed t' rule his dreams 'n stuff? Cashier: Very well ^^ Here you go. It's a good thing that "^^" was included. It really brought this scene t' life. Really. -Ryan gives her money- Ryan: Thank you very much! Don't worry, this deck will be taken care of. -Goes into the Dueling Headquarters- Hello I have come to register as a duelist. I am 15 and I came here for a duel disk. Behold the exciting world-saving epic adventure of bureaucracy! Time for another drink. No excuse this time, I just really don' wanna be sober here. Mmmmmm. ???: Very well what is your name? Ooh, the mystery of the Dueling Headquarters receptionist! The intrigue! The interest-catching question-marking thingy of excitingnosity! Truly, this adventure is coming alive! Ryan: Ryan Derricks. ???: Ok Ryan, here is your duel disk, just sign here, here and here. -Ryan Signs- Ryan: Thank you so much. Duel Disk Preview: It... looks just like a GX Duel Disk. Except blurrier. Why did we need to see a picture of this? Why are you unable to use words to describe things? Why is... dis blasted music playing!? Mom: Ok Ryan time to go to duel academy. It wasn' s'posed to play when I drunk. That's why I got dis far without it interruptin'. Whyzzit in my head again? Home come- Ryan: Whats a Duel Academy? HOME COME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT DUEL ACADEMY IS? In this universe, that's like me in real-life graduating middle school without knowing that there was such a thing as high school. And then being hit by a bus for being a moron. Heh. Hit by a bus. Violence is funny. Mom: Its a school where you learn more about duel monsters, Well I'd never have guessed that from the name and what is this tune anyhow? It's always the same. One note, then two, then four, then four more, then two. Then back to one, two, four, four, two again. And again. Continuing on a looping repeating... loop. Every time and stuff. It's bad. It's- by the way, I know you know how to play its just you need to learn some strategies and make new friends. It's not quite as bad as this, though. No song stuck in your head can be as infuriating as expecting to follow a protagonist who has never touched a deck before, doesn't know the basic structure of the world in which he lives, doesn't know any decent strategies, and whose own mother says doesn't have friends. Love you son, have a nice first day. Ryan: Love you too, have a nice day at work. :) Well, that was abrupt. Apparently, she's saying goodbye and shipping him off to school... in the very conversation in which he first learned the school existed. Truly, the awfulness of this is sobering. And so the tune strengthens. One, two, four, four, two. ???: Hahahaha! Well well well, If it isn't Shrag, where are you going red-head? Wow, we got a bit of character description! Someone named... Shrag? That's a name? Anyhow, they have red hair. And these characters who have never been introduced have mysterious names, because apparently that's interesting. ???2: None of your business I don't think "???2" is a construct I ever needed to see. Especially since, in case you forgot, we already know Shrag's name. I think that's why these reviews make me hear the melody. It's not right. I can feel it in every note. It doesn't belong. It's a bad song. So when I see all the badness here, that resonates, so I hear the music that shouldn't be here. ???: -shoves her- Ryan: Hey! You leave her alone, Brandon! Well, that wrapped up the mystery of this character's name quickly. What was the point of making it a secret in the first place? Brandon: Oh WELL! FINALLY SOMEBODY HAS A DUEL DISK AND A DECK FINALLY! Brandon is my favorite character. He sees how retarded Ryan is for never getting any cards before. WELL DERRICKS IF YOU WANT SHRAG Ryan wants to "shrag" Brandon? I didn't realize this was one of those fanfics. Look, Ryan, I'm sorry, but Brandon's way out of your league, and he really just isn't into you. You should have realized that already too four four two. THEN YOU GONNA HAVE TO DUEL ME FIRST! IF YOU WIN, SHRAG IS FREE TO GO, IF I WIN, SHE GOES WITH ME! Er, where is this taking place? Surely this is a public area if Ryan just saw this happening? This is why actually describing a setting is important; it helps you realize that you shouldn't do this sort of nonsense. Ryan: You got yourself a duel. R: 8000B: 8000 ...when did the text of this story take steroids? Brandon: Since I challenged you I'll go first. GET READY! I'll Summon Brogan Reaper in ATK mode. ATK: 0* = 1 MY EYES MY EYES WHAT IS THIS HIDEOUS ABOMINATION Ryan(Thinking): Why would Brandon play a monster with no ATK points. Unless he has a plan! Ryan: tactical genius. If this is our hero's level of genius, then Brandon has this duel won two four four two. Brandon: I'll Place 1 card Face-Down and end my turn. Let's see what you got Derricks! Ryan: WITH PLEASURE! -Draws a card and sees his hand- SWEET!I'll Summon Long Hair Rose in ATK Mode.ATK: 1700* = 4 The bizarre formatting isn't even consistent. Different sizes and typefaces are chosen at random with every stat that appears. Now my Rose attack his Brogan Reaper with Rose Pedal Slash! Brandon: I don't think so, Activate Trap: Brogan Defense! This stops your monster from attacking my Brogan Reaper, however I must discard 1 Brogan monster from my hand, Come on, Brandon, you're really using something that's like Negate Attack except it only blocks a single attack and it comes with a discard cost? and I choose Brogan Falcon. Then my Falcon's Special Ability activates whenever it's discard from my hand, I can Special Summon it to the field in DEF mode during my next Standby Phase. Ryan: I place 1 card face-down and end my turn. Brandon: Then it's my move! Thank's to my Brogan Falcon's Special Ability I can Special Summon it from the graveyard in DEF mode. Wow, it's a good thing you repeated what we just saw TWO LINES AGO. How thrilling. It hurts. ARISE my Falcon! DEF: 800*(T) = 2 Oh, apparently colors are randomized too. By the way not only my Falcon has returned but its Also a Tuner Monster and then I summon this, Brogue Magician. ATK: 1000* = 3 Da.Da-da.Da-da-da-da.Da-da-da-da.Da-da.Da.Da-da.Da-da-da-da.Da-da-da-da.Da-da. Ye gods, I'm so bored by this nonsense I'm singing along to that melody. and now I tune my Falcon with my Reaper and my Magician. This duel is over. 2 + 3 + 1 = 6 THRILLING ADVENTURE INTO FIRST-GRADE MATH! To save you from sharing my boredom, I'm going to skip ahead past more of this unspeakably dull fight to the end: Brandon: What are you gonna do now? Trust me! You will never bypass my monsters, it's over for you DERRICKS! To Be Continued... Stick for more every Wednesday! Yeah, no, that's not going to happen. Nobody read this except me. And I didn't finish it. And I had a song stuck in my head for the part I did read. And I hated it and will never return. Also on the next episode, I wont be using text effects anymore because its not coming up too well No, really? You don't think those incredibly massive randomly-colored letters were the most beautiful piece of art ever created? Shocking! By the way, I didn't even touch on the unspeakably bad grammar during this review, because if I commented on every single grammatical error we'd be here all day. Suffice to say, far from believing that you are any sort of fanfic expert who writes plays for your school, I instead question the assertion that you even go to school. Every single sentence you write goes clunk, your dialogue is awful and nonsensical, your descriptive abilities are non-existent, and your prose is atrocious. I have such a headache right now. This abominable excuse for a script mas severely damaged my brain. The alcohol is already maknig me feel hung over. And my head is thumping to that awful melody. Mum will be home soon. She's still trying to fix the portal, but she doesn't need to. Something slipped through that first time they tested it. I can hear it. It doesn't belong here. It should never have come here. The melody and TheGameTripleH have a lot in common that way: I don't want to be in the same universe as either of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 · Hidden by ❤ Lovely Warrior ❤, August 10, 2011 - No reason given Hidden by ❤ Lovely Warrior ❤, August 10, 2011 - No reason given wait so is this an rp or just two stories put together O.O Link to comment
Phantom Roxas Posted August 12, 2011 Report Share Posted August 12, 2011 Script format is forbidden, so I'm locking this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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