Pichu Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 I'm writing a Christmas play. I only have Act One done. Yes there are some typeos. Please give feedback! Cast of Characters Lindsay West-35 years Levi West-15 years Landon West-7 years Lilly West-5 years Edna Kendall/Crazy Old Lady-64 years Unnamed Father [spoiler=Act One] Please note in scene three that Edna makes a ref to a play I wrote last year. Forget about it. [spoiler=Scene One] Act One Scene One (Scene starts with Lindsay reading a book, Levi playing with an iPod, and Lilly and Landon playing with their Jessie and Woody dolls, respectably.) Levi: (Groans) Stupid Bamboo game. (Lilly and Landon look at Levi.) Lilly: (Pets Jessie's hair.) Jessie never dies and is always by my side. Unlike your video game! Landon: (Giggles) Yeah! Woody doesn't need force fields and whatnot! Lindsay: (Closes her book and sets it in her lap.) Now kids. We don't need to boast about what's better. (Turns to Levi) What time is it, Levi? Levi: (Checks iPod.) Noon. I'm going to go watch T.V. in my room. A re-run of Glee is on soon. (He sits up and walks off stage.) Lindsay: (Gets up and sets her book on the chair) Come on, kids. Put Woody and Jessie away. It's time for lunch. Lilly: Can we have Christmas cookies? Landon: (Stands up and cheers.) Yeah! Cookies! Lindsay: (Smiles.) Why not! In two days from now, Santa will eat them all! Landon: So we better grab some before he gets them! Lindsay: You know it! Come to the kitchen. (Scene ends with Landon, Lilly, and Lindsay walking offstage.) [/spoiler] [spoiler=Scene Two] Act One Scene Two (Scene begins with the kids sitting in the living room. Levi is laying on the couch, listening to music. Lilly and Landon are on the ground by the couch, pouting. Lindsay walks in with a basket of laundry.) Lindsay: Why are your younger brother and sister sitting on the ground? Levi: (Takes off his head phones.) What? Lindsay: Why are the kids on the ground? Levi: 'Cause I want to lay down. Plus I'm older so they have to listen to me. Lilly: He said we should worship him on the ground. Landon: (Nods.) Lindsay: Well I'm older then you so you must listen to me. Get up and give me the iPod. Levi: No. Lindsay: (In a mean tone:) What did you say to me?! Levi: (Panicked:)I said, of course, loving mother of mine! (Throws iPod into the basket.) Lindsay: That's what I thought. (She walks off stage. Levi follows her.) Lilly & Landon: (Sits on couch.) Lilly: What do you want Santa to bring you? Landon: A horse for Woody! Lilly: I want a dog for Jessie! Landon: Cool! Levi: (Walks on stage with a wrapped present and puts it with the others in a closet. He sits on the couch by Landon and starts to play his DS.) Landon: Why were Christmas presents in the closet? Levi: That's were mom hides them. She used to hide them under her bed but when dad left to fight overseas, she moved them to the closet. Lilly: No. Santa brings presents. Levi: I thought you knew Santa isn't real. Lilly and Landon: What!? Levi: There has never been a Santa and there never will be. It's just a little white lie that parents use to trick kids into not going Christmas shopping with them. Landon: Liar. Lilly: I know Santa is real! I saw mommy kissing him two years ago! Levi: Dad in a Santa suit. Go ask mom. She'll tell you. Landon: Fine. We will. (Landon and Lilly walk off stage. Levi follows. Scene ends here.) [/spoiler] [spoiler=Scene Three] Act One Scene Three (It's later in the night. Lindsay is sitting on the couch with Landon and Lilly, who are holding their Woody and Jessie dolls. Lindsay is reading them 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.) Lindsay: Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a good night! (Closes book.) Isn't that a nice story? Lilly: Sure... (Doorbell rings. Lindsay goes to open it.) Lindsay: (Opens door.) Edna: (Walks inside) Hi. Lindsay: Hello, Edna. Edna: Yeah, yeah, neighbor love and hello. Do you have chocolate syrup? Lindsay: Yes. Edna: Good. (walks inside and into the kitchen. She walks back out with syrup.) Lindsay: (Smiles.) Are you making Christmas cookies? Edna: Yes. Lindsay: Do you need an egg? Edna: (Drinks syrup) No. The Andrews gave me one earlier today. They wanted me to be their dad. But this syrup is for me. I like chocolate syrup. Lindsay: Ok? Landon: She's a crazy lady. Lilly: Don't eat us! Edna: Ehh.. (Walks off stage.) Lindsay: She needs to live in the Crazy House. (Sits back down.) Ready for bed? Landon: We need to tell you something first. Lindsay: What would that be? Lilly: Levi told us that there wasn't a Santa Clause. Landon: Yeah. Lindsay: He's lying. He doesn't believe so he wants you guys to think Santa isn't real. Landon: But we saw Christmas presents in the closet. Lindsay: (Soft:) Dang it. Well you know now. Santa isn't real. Lilly: But he has to be! Landon: Without Santa, Christmas is just another day! Lindsay: Christmas is much more then another day. Now let's go to bed. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we need to mail Dad his present. Lilly: Ok... (The kids get up and slowly walk off stage. Levi walks in as Lindsay stands.) Lindsay: I'll be there in a minute to tuck you in. First I have to deal with Levi. Levi: What did I do? Lindsay: You told the kids that Santa wasn't real. Are you crazy? Levi: You told me to never tell a lie. Lindsay: Don't be a smart allelic! You are grounded from your DS. Hand it over. (Sticks out hand.) Levi: (Pulls out DS and gives it to Lindsay.) Lindsay: Now get to bed. (Levi runs off stage. Lindsay follows. Scene ends here.) [/spoiler] [spoiler=Scene Four] Act One Scene Four (Scene begins with Lindsay reading the paper on the couch. Lilly, Landon, and Levi walk on stage. Lilly has her Jessie doll, Landon has his Woody doll, and Levi has his PSP. They all sit on the floor and start to play with their objects. Lindsay sets the paper in her lap.) Lindsay: Merry Christmas Eve! Levi: Whatever... Lilly: Will we still get Christmas presents? Lindsay: Yes, honey. I won't take everything back because your brother is a loud mouth. Levi: Shut up. Lindsay: What?! Levi: I said, Yes I am, loving mother of mine! Lindsay: Give me the PSP and go to your room. Levi: (Gives Lindsay the PSP and walks off stage.) Lilly: I still believe in Santa. Do you, Landon? Landon: (Nods.) Lindsay: Now, Lilly. You he's not real anymore. Lilly: He's real. He always will be to me. Lindsay: Well there's a Santa somewhere, I guess. Lilly: Yeah. Lindsay: Well I'm going to make some eggs and toast for breakfast. You two go wash up. (Lindsay walks into the kitchen while Lilly and Landon walk off stage. Scene ends.) [/spoiler] [spoiler=Scene Five] Act One Scene Five (Scene begins with Lindsay talking to Edna. Lilly and Landon are on the couch with their toy, looking at their mother and their neighbor. Lindsay has a purse.) Lindsay: Now there's a list of numbers to call if anything goes wrong on the fridge. Levi is at a party and should be home at ten. Make sure Lilly and Landon are washed up and in bed by 9:30. Ok? Edna: I've babysat before. I have 17 grand kids, missy. Lindsay: Just making sure. Kids, come give mommy a hug. Lilly & Landon: (Hugs Lindsay.) Lindsay: Be good, now. (Walks off stage.) Lilly & Landon: Bye, mommy. (Sits on the couch) Edna: Where's the chocolate syrup? Landon: Fridge. Edna: (Walks off stage.) Lilly: Why did mom hire her to babysit us while she did last minute Christmas shopping? Landon: Because she's our neighbor. Lilly: ….Landon? Landon: Yeah, Lilly? Lilly: You believe in Santa still, right? Landon: Yes! (Bells are heard from off stage.) Landon: Bells? Lilly: Santa's bells! He is real! Edna: (Walks on stage with bells and syrup.) Yummy. Lilly: Dang it.... Edna: (Sits on the couch and falls asleep.) Lilly: Is she sleeping? Landon: Out cold. It's gonna be a long night.... (Scene ends.) [/spoiler] [spoiler=Scene Six] Act One Scene Six (Scene begins on Christmas morning. Everybody is wearing Pjs. Presents are under the tree. Lilly and Landon sit by the tree with their Woody and Jessie dolls.) Lindsay: Look at all those presents! Lilly: Which one is from Santa? Landon: I want a present from Santa! Levi: Good luck with that. Lindsay: I wrapped Landon's presents in green, Lilly's in pink, and Levi's in blue. Levi: There's only two blue ones. Lindsay: I know! (Smiles.) Landon: There's a purple present! Lindsay: I didn't put a purple present down there. Lilly: (grabs present.) It says 'From Santa. To Lilly and Landon West.' Landon: Open it! Lilly: (Opens it and pulls out a dog toy.) A dog for Jessie! Landon: (Pulls out a horse toy.) Woody's horse! Lindsay: I never bought those. Levi: I bought them a pack of gum for Christmas. Landon: It was Santa! Lilly: He is real! (Scene ends. End of Act One. Intermission begins.) [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Intermission] During Intermission of my play, me and my three cast mates will have small events such as a dance. We have nothing planned so far but I will update when I plan more. [/spoiler] Act Two a work in progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolta Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 Errr... pal, sad to say, but script format isn't good over here. I'll read this later and post my comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 [quote name='♪♫ SF-A2★Miki ♫♪' timestamp='1310456258' post='5347392'] Errr... pal, sad to say, but script format isn't good over here. I'll read this later and post my comments. [/quote] Unless, you know, it's actually a [b]script[/b] we're talking about. The rule against script format was put in place so that people wouldn't go half-and-half (story descriptions, script format dialog) which didn't only look horrible but also unprofessional. That said, there's a bit too much pop-culture going on here for my personal taste. In scene one alone, I count Woody and Jessie dolls, iPods and Glee. Almost feels like product placement, which really shouldn't be in a play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catterjune Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 The fact that all their names all start with the same letters really, REALLY bug me. Hard to keep track of the characters. =| The story seems rather... non-existent. Or at least, from the first 3 scenes I've read it doesn't appear to have much of a story. Does it get better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 This would be much easier to read without spoiler tags between each scene. Just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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