Techi☺ Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Co-Writers: Wishing Star Blaze First Chapter is up. Large differences about time-line and things that happen on the show/manga occur. Such as: Frieza was never born, no one loved the bastard anyway. King Vageta didn't exist, but the war on Planet Plant between the Tuffles and the Saiyan's did happen and a Much more stronger and kind-hearted Saiyan was seen as a fitting King. Things just change from there. The Saiyan's are still a battle-loving species, and almost 98% of them live their lifes out on open battle-field on other planets. The other 2% were either deemed weak at birth or didn't develop that Fighter's drive and was given a choice to fight or cultivate the Saiyan Planet. With all that info Presented, I would also like to present our first chapter: [spoiler=Chapter 1] The planet's gravity wasn't even a bother to the Young Saiyan teenager named Trelo. His body moved much more than swiftly and he applied his strength accurately to specific places of the strange light Hay-like plant to apply the specific nutrients the plant needed. He shot forth down each row and then up again, finishing most of the first field in seconds without breaking a sweat. His bold black hair was messy but spikey, all of it pointed upwards but some leaned on different sides. He had dull black eyes and an unimpressed grin as he threw his body down each row and lodged a fist-full of strang plant nutrition into the middle of each large plant. He'd finish soon, but just after Vallese would make it back from town. Vallese being the very nice girl who took him in even though she couldnt' take care of himself. The planet was full of Saiyan's, most of them young as all the adults fostered the famed fighting instinct and were needed on the war-front. The weaker and more peacful of the race remained on this planat. Trelo itched for a chance to have a more than worthy fighting opponent, but everyone around was strangely kind and could not even swat away a fly. Trelo had no clue that he'd be getting more than what he wished for and sooner that imgaginable. Vallese gently strolled into town with a small doll-like smile. Her soft and wild saiyan hair fell all over the place, but her white dress and hat seemed to compliment her thin-yet good looks and pretty features. Although Vallese acts peaceful around town and assists with the weak and the sick, she was a Fighter like Trelo. She enjoyed what she did and what was about to happen would be a nightmare to her. Vallese continued her slow walk into town. She carried a wooven basket full of what appeared to be grape-like fruit with the color and outer-ball like shape of a tomatoe. With the whole basket full of this strange fruit/vegitable, Vallese would be able to get enough money to afford a few new things for Trelo and a Replacement button for her favorie shirt. She was still enraged at Trelo for ripping it off in their last sparring match, but after she practically steam-rolled him, she couldn't keep the grudge. "Hey Vallese!" A voice called over the fields. Through the fruit and vegetables ran a girl with hair brown like the soil, blue eyes like the sea. She wore a simple green dress, which kept disappearing between the food that grew around her. She ran up to Vallese. The girl was a bit shorter than Vallese, and had to look up to talk face to face. "Have you... finished.... collecting all... the fruits.... and vegetables?" The girl panted, catching her breath. "Because Yura says if you don't hurry, she'll start selling her wares without you." She said, having caught her breath. She smiled cheekily. "And we all know how THAT works out!" Vallese nodded with a grin and hurried along her way to Yura. Trelo stood in the middle of his last field to do work in. He was covered in sweat an wiping it from his fore-head. He noticed something falling. He didn't notice any ki coming from what was falling. His eyes widened in worry. Whatever was falling would fall behind that Nearby town. He dropped the bag of Strange Plant Nutrient and took flight for town. He threw out all the stops, throwing his energy behind him to get him there in no time. He touched down in the middle of the town. Whatever was falling, met the ground with grace but kicked up so much sand so that only two pearly red beads of light can be seen through. Trelo turned his head in a moment to find Vallese and her friend nearby, they must have seen this thing coming too. The girl batted sand away from her and Vallese and stifled a cough. "Bleargh." She muttered, showing displeasure. However, her displeasure melted away as curiousity took hold. She edged foward, attempting to see through the sand cloud. "What is it?" She asked, glancing at the strange red beads of light. With no backdrop other than sand still whirling, they looked menacing. And right now, she wasn't wuite sure she wanted to meet the owner. The Sand in the air Cleared to reveal a man standing 5 feet in front of Trelo. He was a whole foot taller than Trelo and wore furs around his waist and chest. He had very spikey black hair and it was very long, ending around his elbows. His eyes appeared to look like a saiyan's, but a thin line of red light shot straight out of the pupils. When he moved his neck, mechanical noises sounded off. It was no secret that this was the body of some war Hero Saiyan from the Tuffle-Saiyan war for this planet. But him being so young and still wearing those out-dated war furs was strange, he had to be some kind of Android. It's eyes rested on Trelo and a sick unnatural grin shot up from it's lips. "You... Saiyan boy. You...Will be my first V-Victem!" The Android sounded off. It's voice was gruff like a Saiyan's, but it displayed an aweful metalic squeek and it had some kind of stuttering error in it's communication. "Whatever the hell you are, you will call me Trelo like everyone else. As for being a Victem-" Trelo began to speak. He let his body fall into an Offensive Battle Stance and his ki kicked up a little sand around him. "-We'll just have to see about that!" The girl stifled a scream. This creepy Andriod thing was much taller than her, and she was only 11, after all. Her battle knowledge was zilch, zero, nothing. She took a few steps back, before running behind Vallese. She peeked out from behind Vallese, obviously very frightened. "Wha-What is th-that th-thing?" She stuttered. Several other Saiyans, despite also being scared, tsked in disappointment. Trelo looked back when her heard the stifled scream, in fear that Vallese could have been hurt. The quick instant of removing his sight from the new enemy had given the Android plenty of time to launch forward and lay a deadly mid-air kick to the bottom of Trelo's jaw. This threw Trelo into the air and he fell quickly to the ground in a daze. He gagged around the intense pain as the muscles under his jaw felt like they were torn apart. Vallese was worried fro Trelo, but she turned and took the little girl's hand to run away from the android's assault. [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 Bumb Anyone reading these things anymore? O_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 i might read it but im no dbz fan so it may take some time and dont worry no one reads mine eaither Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='SubZeroSakura❧' timestamp='1310133861' post='5337770'] i might read it but im no dbz fan so it may take some time and dont worry no one reads mine eaither [/quote] lawl, thanks Sakura =3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 its pretty good [s]NEEDS SOME FEMALE SUPER SAIYAN FTW[/s] much better than i can do probably and there's grammar in there my grammar sux so... YAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='SubZeroSakura❧' timestamp='1310134288' post='5337779'] its pretty good [s]NEEDS SOME FEMALE SUPER SAIYAN FTW[/s] much better than i can do probably and there's grammar in there my grammar sux so... YAY [/quote] Thanks XD We have discussed possible super-saiyan's down the road. And we have discussed some of both genders ^___^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='Techi☺' timestamp='1310134479' post='5337785'] Thanks XD We have discussed possible super-saiyan's down the road. And we have discussed some of both genders ^___^ [/quote] hmm wonder what a female saiyan would look like thinks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='SubZeroSakura❧' timestamp='1310134766' post='5337790'] hmm wonder what a female saiyan would look like thinks [/quote] It'd be interesting, yeah... Maybe just their hair turns gold, and instead of standing straight up, it flows out and around... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='Techi☺' timestamp='1310134863' post='5337792'] It'd be interesting, yeah... Maybe just their hair turns gold, and instead of standing straight up, it flows out and around... [/quote] thats what i have always though kinda like their in water Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='SubZeroSakura❧' timestamp='1310135191' post='5337801'] thats what i have always though kinda like their in water [/quote] I'll discuss it with star. (since she and I have the only 2 girl saiyan characters so far...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='Techi☺' timestamp='1310135609' post='5337806'] I'll discuss it with star. (since she and I have the only 2 girl saiyan characters so far...) [/quote] XD i would have a girl saiyan but i dont know the requirements to get it into a fan fic XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='SubZeroSakura❧' timestamp='1310136486' post='5337823'] XD i would have a girl saiyan but i dont know the requirements to get it into a fan fic XD [/quote] You could be a co-writer... you know... O_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='Techi☺' timestamp='1310136703' post='5337829'] You could be a co-writer... you know... O_O [/quote] yea but im not the writer my stories are cool (O_O look at the smash bros rp im in epic) but when it comes to grammer i suck real bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='SubZeroSakura❧' timestamp='1310136783' post='5337830'] yea but im not the writer my stories are cool (O_O look at the smash bros rp im in epic) but when it comes to grammer i suck real bad [/quote] 1. you can take your time... 2. it isn't hard to grasp with practice... I gtg, talk more later? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 [quote name='Techi☺' timestamp='1310136901' post='5337832'] 1. you can take your time... 2. it isn't hard to grasp with practice... I gtg, talk more later? [/quote] sure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squidward Tentacles Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 i like the way it turned out... i prefer this version even though I got an insider copy XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 [quote name='Blaze - God of Blastoise' timestamp='1310355316' post='5344634'] i like the way it turned out... i prefer this version even though I got an insider copy XD [/quote] lawl, there is probably 3 reasons to why this copy is better: 1. It's spell-checked and proof-read. 2. You don't have to differentiate between Ic and OOC 3. Its all one chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squidward Tentacles Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 exactly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted July 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 [quote name='Blaze - God of Blastoise' timestamp='1310355760' post='5344653'] exactly! [/quote] be prepared for tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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