Wahrheit Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 [center][size="7"]AP Euro 2011 Research Paper [s][REDACTED][/s] "Wahrheit" [s][REDACTED][/s] 1522 Words [/size] [size="1"](kind of)[/size][/center] [hr] I am writing on behalf of myself and a few of my friends to state that The AP Euro Research Paper's vainglorious, inhumane ideals rightly deserve to be exposed to criticism. Read on, gentle reader, and hear what I have to say. The AP Euro Research Paper sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who improve the lot of humankind). I fully intend to free people from the spell of irreligionism that The AP Euro Research Paper has cast over them. I will spare no labor in doing this and reckon no labor lost that brings me toward this mark. Even so, The AP Euro Research Paper's fibs are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive—even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, there are lots of weepy, wimpy flower children out there who are always whining that I'm being too harsh in my criticisms of The AP Euro Research Paper. I wish such people would wake up and realize that it is not uncommon for The AP Euro Research Paper to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole viperine affair as some great benefit to humanity. Are you still with me? If The AP Euro Research Paper's hirelings had even an ounce of integrity they would navigate a safe path between the Scylla of The AP Euro Research Paper's satanic tracts and the Charybdis of Stalinism. Although I agree with those who aver that trying to mold the mind of virtually every citizen—young or old, rich or poor, simple or sophisticated—is just as unenlightened as trying to heat the cauldron of terror until it boils over into our daily lives, nevertheless, I cannot agree with the subject matter and attitude that is woven into every one of its yellow-bellied scribblings. The AP Euro Research Paper says that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician's magic hat. As usual, it can be counted on to wrap every actual fact in six layers of embellishment. The truth is that I myself will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to celebrate knowledge and truth for the sake of knowledge and truth. The AP Euro Research Paper is absolutely determined to believe that the peak of fashion is to silence anyone whom it considers rapacious, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way. Will someone please explain to me what it is in our lives that can possibly make someone send coldhearted storytellers on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them? Because I certainly have no idea. If I were to compile a list of The AP Euro Research Paper's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that The AP Euro Research Paper's activities stink to high heaven. It will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact because if it didn't, you might come to realize that I can say one thing about it. It understands better than any of us that psychological impact is paramount—not facts, not anybody's principles, not right and wrong. I'm not suggesting that we behave likewise. I'm suggesting only that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why The AP Euro Research Paper spends its leisure time devising ever more sullen ways to malign and traduce me. It has been said that The AP Euro Research Paper is slated for an unwept grave. That makes sense to me. I believe it's true. But it obviously implies that if I were a complete sap, I'd believe The AP Euro Research Paper's line that it can walk on water. Unfortunately for it, I realize that if The AP Euro Research Paper manages to brandish the word "philodestructiveness" (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that cell-phone towers are in fact covert mind-control devices that use scalar waves to beam images into people's brains while they sleep, civilization will crumble almost immediately. Investigators from a future era will need to sift through the charred wreckage of our society looking for the black box to figure out what happened. Maybe they'll even discover that if we don't make The AP Euro Research Paper pay for its crimes against humanity, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that I once managed to get The AP Euro Research Paper to agree that it enjoys pondering new ways to confuse, befuddle, and neutralize public opposition. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, it did a volte-face and denied that it had ever said that. Some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that The AP Euro Research Paper's catch-phrases are a public admission of its immaturity and insensitivity. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. The AP Euro Research Paper will encourage people to leave their spouses, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become the most myopic heretics I've ever seen because it possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses villainous misers with sick and uncontrollable rage. Although I can no more change the past than see the future, it's safe to say that if The AP Euro Research Paper continues to subject us to the spiteful yapping of wicked, obdurate ideologues, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. Whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to change the world for the better. If one could get a Ph.D. in Larrikinism, The AP Euro Research Paper would be the first in line to have one. To be honest, The AP Euro Research Paper's publicity stunts are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I bear the flambeau of freedom, its invariant response is to unleash an unparalleled wave of revisionism. Do you really think that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is, as The AP Euro Research Paper claims? Wake up! The AP Euro Research Paper's expositors have been running around recently trying to set the wolf to mind the sheep. Meanwhile, The AP Euro Research Paper has been preparing to nurture the seeds of our eventual destruction so that they grow like a rapidly malignant mutant form of kudzu. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, The AP Euro Research Paper's statements such as "Everything is happy and fine and good" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual. Nature is a wonderful teacher. For instance, the lesson that Nature teaches us from newly acephalous poultry is that you really don't need a brain to run around like a dang fool making a spectacle of yourself. Nature also teaches us that one of the ill-natured, clueless wackos in The AP Euro Research Paper's employ has penned an extensive treatise whose thesis is that The AP Euro Research Paper would never even consider using mass organization as a system of integration and control. Contrary to what that embarrassingly emollient hagiography asserts, The AP Euro Research Paper is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that its crotchets won't be used for political retribution. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how ill-bred The AP Euro Research Paper is. You can't do it. Not only that, but a day of reckoning is coming, and The AP Euro Research Paper will be called to account. That's pretty transparent. What's not so transparent is the answer to the following question: Where do we go from here? A clue might be that The AP Euro Research Paper wants to dominate or intimidate others. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis. I hope I don't need to remind you that we have been under a full-bore, nonstop assault from The AP Euro Research Paper and its hangers-on for quite some time, but it's still true, and we must do something about it. To add another dimension to this argument, let me mention that The AP Euro Research Paper's plans for the future manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: glorify the things that everyone else execrates. Phase two: champion censorship in the name of free speech, intolerance in the name of tolerance, and oppression in the name of freedom. Now that you've heard what I've had to say, I want you to think about it. And I want you to join me and step up to the plate and take up the mantle and weed out organizations like The AP Euro Research Paper that have deceived, betrayed, and exploited us. [hr] Yeah, I turned this in. I have no idea what grade I got on it, but I was pissed at the teacher and believed getting a perfect score on the essay I wrote for the unit test about my topic and doing a 30 minute presentation with the ability to even now recall any detail from said presentation upon demand was sufficient to demonstrate proficiency. I don't need the class to graduate anyway. I've heard good things about it so far, it'll be interesting to see what YCM has to say. If you're going to spam or say something stupid like "omg its long and theres big words", don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wahrheit Posted June 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 14, 2011 I had an F without turning this in, just got my transcript and my final grade for the class was a B. [size="7"]Good game, son.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted June 14, 2011 Report Share Posted June 14, 2011 SATIRICAL FUNNINESS IS SATIRICAL. It was a pretty interesting read, and I loved the random metaphors and allusions you threw in there. If I get to write stuff like this in college, I honestly can't wait. Such writing needs no criticism. :] [i]Scylla of The AP Euro Research Paper's satanic tracts and the Charybdis of Stalinism[/i] Gah, it took me like thirty seconds of [b]constant thinking[/b] to remember where the hell you pulled this from. The Odyssey was epic, pun wholly intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsianGuy1137 Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Nice piece, on par with Jonathan Swift's [i]A Modest Proposal[/i]. If one thing is absolute, it's that history is NEVER absolute. Although I do have one complaint. You think the European History research paper is bad? Try writing a thesis for your doctorate research for physical chemistry on the quantum effects of nuclear chromodynamics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wahrheit Posted June 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 It's not the paper itself, it's the circumstance under which I was required to write it and how much of a jerk the teacher was. Just wasn't gonna happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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