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[Finished]Give me Flavor! Round 2 (Full)


seattleite

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Another one of my Contests, this one with 3 rounds.

[spoiler=Rules]
Rules are simple. I give you a vanilla, you have to add the most creative flavor text as possible.

* I am the only Judge
* No entry fee
* Post your text (or PM me) within 24 hours of joining
* Flavor text must be rated PG-13
* Written Cards / just the Flavor text IS acceptable.
* Be as Creative as possible!

Contestants:
1. ArchmageCarn
2. MomoBeast
3.
4.
5.

[s]Round 1 End Join Date: June 10th[/s]

Prize: [b]1 rep and 500 Points[/b] for each round winner

[/spoiler]

[spoiler=The card (NEW)]
[img]http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/4193/98186.jpg[/img]
[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Disclaimer]I apologize if this idea was already used, I don't mean to infringe on anyone's ideas. If you've used this idea you can let me know and I'll give you credit for it :)[/spoiler]

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Occult Breaker
Level 6 / LIGHT / Spellcaster / Effect
ATK 2600 / DEF 2300

This card can only be Normal Summoned by Tributing 1 face-up LIGHT Spellcaster-Type monster you control. When you draw a Spellcaster-Type monster during your Draw Phase, show it to your opponent to send 1 card from your Extra Deck to your Graveyard. This card cannot be destroyed by battle if there are more than 3 Synchro Monsters in your Graveyard.
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I'll join.

[i]For centuries the arts that accessed the hellish realms of fiends and spirits was forgotten. When such corrupt forces were finally able to cross between worlds once again, they had not expected to see such a powerful magician waiting. Out of the frying pan and into the fire; though such dark creatures may roam once more, it is only so this legendary magician can slay them.[/i]
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[quote name='Qu@ke' timestamp='1307572561' post='5267947']
I noticed only two people on the contestant list...=(
[/quote]

I'm just too lazy to update it.

[quote name='ArchmageCarn' timestamp='1307568981' post='5267805']
When will results be out?
[/quote]


Maybe this evening or Tomorrow.
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Results posted! I offered my critiques and what I liked, and your score (/10)


[spoiler=ArchmageCarn]
"The world of spirits holds true power and understanding, and I have tasted it. I wish for more. "

Simple but profound. Interesting use of First person. Text seems to go well with the name and pic. However it conveys only a lust for power as its message (IMO, kind of cliche) with not much powerful vocabulary or elaboration.

8.5/10
[/spoiler]

[spoiler=momobeast]
"A magician who has the power of 100 spellcasters know he has been unbeateble for centuries.Know travels the world in hopes of finding a true opponnent...."

I shouldn't have to grade on grammar and spelling but this was pretty hard to read so the message was lost. Legendary spell-casters have been used before, although I like "power of 100 spellcasters" - it's an interesting phrase.

5/10
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Yen]
"For centuries the arts that accessed the hellish realms of fiends and spirits was forgotten. When such corrupt forces were finally able to cross between worlds once again, they had not expected to see such a powerful magician waiting. Out of the frying pan and into the fire; though such dark creatures may roam once more, it is only so this legendary magician can slay them. "

I don't give extra points for long text, but I have to say this was nice description. Offers good background story, and gives the card a personality and a "purpose" so to speak. The use of the saying "out of the frying pan" was very well-placed and I commend you for that. VERY well agrees with the Name + Picture :) Last sentence is just slightly confusing, since it would translate the creatures exist only for slaying. I know that wasn't your intention but it was phrased that way. Also a Semicolon and a Comma is a little bulky, but overall very good.

9.3/10
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Qu@ke]
"A very powerful student of magic who wonders this vast world looking for secret knowledge that others would never believe existed. He aims to know every magical spell that was ever made. "

Powerful words in the first sentence. I think you could expand on the description, and some words would place a better meaning ("would" change to "could, "He aims" change to "His goal is.." or something similar). Text goes well with the name, considering "Occult" can be interpreted as "Hidden". Mostly nice.

9/10
[/spoiler]

[spoiler= HiroMax]
"A Spellcaster student who was kicked out of the academy. For centuries, he has been roaming the Earth, looking for an equal. The only opponent know to be his equal is Dark Magician. "

First sentence is too vague. "A spellcaster student" could be anyone, even a weak student. "The academy" ---> what academy? Why was he kicked out? Second and Third Sentences conflict. He's looking for an equal, yet he already has one, Dark Magician. Also somewhat random jump from an Academy to "roaming the Earth".

6/10
[/spoiler]


[b]2nd round will start soon, with a new card. If you want to drop out just tell me, otherwise I will presume you are staying.[/b]

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