YuGiOh: Hidden Legacy [Descent into Darkness] [Ch. 29 Reality Check] Posted! NEW!

[Agro]

No need to hope when you can do, and you're doing well.

[Synchronized]

[quote name='AggroDrago' timestamp='1314763905' post='5481082']
No need to hope when you can do, and you're doing well.
[/quote]

Awesome! Glad to have another reader!

[Umbra]

Good chapter, as I've come to expect. As has been said above, you're not giving yourself the credit that you deserve; you [i]are [/i]good, and if anything this chapter demonstrates that. Sure, there are a few minor word errors here and there, but trust me; they're not important. What matters is the story itself, and making sure that it's told the right way. You've demonstrated in this story that you're capable of that; let the editors fix the tiny things.

Now, I can't personally say I remember much of Rayori from the original story, but I have a slight inquiry about his characterization. Up until now, he has seemed pretty badass; jumps in from another dimension to save Riley from the shadow-thing, drops the major info-bomb and takes our hero back with him to set things right. At the start of the chapter here, he's sort of a wimp... and at the end, he's back to his normal badassery. The wimp-phase is so brief that it seems entirely unnecessary.

What I do like about it though is something I personally feel I struggle with portraying: grief. As a writer who kills off a lot of his characters, I get so caught up in the plot that I don't give the characters time to actually grieve their lost ones. That's something you do really well here, so I might have to look at it in the future for reference.

Overall, a good chapter and a good introduction to the mini-arc.

[Synchronized]

[quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1314817936' post='5481904']
Good chapter, as I've come to expect. As has been said above, you're not giving yourself the credit that you deserve; you [i]are [/i]good, and if anything this chapter demonstrates that. Sure, there are a few minor word errors here and there, but trust me; they're not important. What matters is the story itself, and making sure that it's told the right way. You've demonstrated in this story that you're capable of that; let the editors fix the tiny things.

[b]Well, thank you. I'm very negative on my own writing but I guess that's to be expected. Like I mentioned to you earlier, I tend to be very critical with my own stuff because I have higher expectations for myself than I'm usually able to fulfill. My stories aren't on the level of yours, etc.[/b]

Now, I can't personally say I remember much of Rayori from the original story, but I have a slight inquiry about his characterization. Up until now, he has seemed pretty badass; jumps in from another dimension to save Riley from the shadow-thing, drops the major info-bomb and takes our hero back with him to set things right. At the start of the chapter here, he's sort of a wimp... and at the end, he's back to his normal badassery. The wimp-phase is so brief that it seems entirely unnecessary.

[b]I know it might seem a bit rushed; that's not what I was going for. With the whole Rayori thing, I wasn't really sure how to portray the character point that I wanted to. I want Rayori to struggle with his emotions and his confidence, that will play into him "taking a break" sooner than later, for a decent portion of the remainder of this arc. It'll give me a chance to one, build up the other characters, and two, make his character's involvement that much more meaningful.[/b]

[b]I don't know if you've watched Digimon before, but I'm going for a character similar to Matt's character in the original season, where he questioned his place and whether or not what he was doing was the right thing.[/b]

What I do like about it though is something I personally feel I struggle with portraying: grief. As a writer who kills off a lot of his characters, I get so caught up in the plot that I don't give the characters time to actually grieve their lost ones. That's something you do really well here, so I might have to look at it in the future for reference.

[b]I'm definitely going for a "darker" approach to this season than usual, and I think it's working so far. It's a big change of pace from the story's original direction.[/b]

Overall, a good chapter and a good introduction to the mini-arc.
[/quote]

[Tokyo Duel]

Star, you already know how I feel about it; I messaged you. But...it's so good, I figure I'll leave a nice little comment here too!
Though I haven't read the previous Hidden Legacies, this one answered the majority of questions I had, which is good. The questions that I do have are unimportant, and can easily be answered if I were to reread it again, though it took me two days to read it all. As usual, I have nothing but praise for your work, you always manage to up the game, even when I think you can't get any better. I love each character, especially Riley. He has so much will, so much deterimination, I actually grew to respect him as a character. You've done a great job, Star. Keep it up. ^^

[Synchronized]

[quote name='Koten' timestamp='1314827921' post='5482212']
Star, you already know how I feel about it; I messaged you. But...it's so good, I figure I'll leave a nice little comment here too!
Though I haven't read the previous Hidden Legacies, this one answered the majority of questions I had, which is good. The questions that I do have are unimportant, and can easily be answered if I were to reread it again, though it took me two days to read it all. As usual, I have nothing but praise for your work, you always manage to up the game, even when I think you can't get any better. I love each character, especially Riley. He has so much will, so much deterimination, I actually grew to respect him as a character. You've done a great job, Star. Keep it up. ^^
[/quote]

Thank you so much! It might sound somewhat silly, especially just online, y'kno, but writing is something I love and hearing people tell me that I've got even a little talent (even if I won't believe it completely) makes me feel like I might be able to go somewhere with journalism, columns, etc. It's completely different, but it's a start.

I've got nothing on Umbra, or Saber, and Aggro's is pretty fantastic as well, but having some readers will definitely be awesome and help me to improve the quality of my story!

[Synchronized]

[spoiler=Chapter 11: Rise of the Dark Ones (Part 2)]

[b]Rayori's Life Points[/b]: 2700

"Alright, you've done enough damage, it's time to change the pace of this game!" Rayori extended his right arm, revealing the Trap Card set in front of him. "Reveal Trap Card, Dragon's Cry!"

[spoiler=Dragon's Cry]
[b]Normal Trap Card[/b]
You can only activate this card during your Standby Phase. Discard 1 Level 4 or lower monster from your hand. Then, add 1 Level 5 or higher Dragon-type monster from your Deck to your hand.[/spoiler]

"When this Trap is activated, I can send the Totem Dragon in my hand, the one I just searched, to the Graveyard!" Zure watched as Rayori did so, placing the card in his Graveyard and searching through his Deck. "Then, I can take a Dragon from my Deck and add it to my hand, and the one I choose, is Genesis Dragon!"

"Search whatever you like," Zure said sternly. "It won't make any sort of difference; you're still a pitiful fool, and you'll stand no chance of defeating me."

"Let's just see about that, then! Since it's still my Standby Phase, Totem Dragon's effect kicks in, allowing me to revive it to the field!"

[spoiler=Totem Dragon]
Level 2/EARTH
Dragon/Effect
This card can be treated as 2 Tributes for the Tribute Summon of a Dragon-Type monster. If this card is in your Graveyard during your Standby Phase and you control no monsters, you can Special Summon this card in Attack Position. You cannot activate this effect if there are any monsters in your Graveyard that are not Dragon-Type. If this card is Special Summoned with this effect, remove it from play when it is removed from the field.
400/200[/spoiler]

A green dragon, small in size yet tough with a hardened mechanical exterior, appeared on the field, letting out a quiet roar to make its presence known. Zure simply laughed it off. At first sight, it didn't appear to be much of a threat at all. Then again, Rayori wasn't counting on Totem Dragon to deal the damage; simply help in the process. No, it was his next monster that he was relying on.

"He doesn't look like much," Rayori explained. "But he's about to change the state of this game! I release Totem Dragon to Summon Genesis Dragon!" Totem Dragon vanished in a sphere of light, followed by an earth-shattering bolt of lightning striking the dirt in front of them. A monstrous red dragon, significantly larger than the dragon which preceded it, hovered above the field, razor-sharp spikes emerging from both its wings, as well as its tail.

[spoiler=Genesis Dragon]
Level 6/LIGHT
Dragon/Effect
Once per turn, you can send 1 Dragon-Type monster from your hand to the Graveyard to add 1 Dragon-Type monster from your Graveyard to your hand. When this card is sent from the field to the Graveyard, you can return all Dragon-Type monsters from your Graveyard to your Deck.
2200/1800[/spoiler]

Rayori could feel a significant difference of energy within his own body; it was no easy task to call upon a powerful creature, and Genesis Dragon definitely fit the bill. He readied himself, though; for the weakness he could feel now was nothing compared to that which he'd feel if he couldn't win this. That was the key. Victory; protecting Riley, and sending Zure back to the darkness he came from.

---

[img]http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff244/InvertRemix/Untitled-2.png[/img]

Episode 11: The Dark One Rises (Part 2)

"Now, it's time to give you a taste of your own medicine!" Rayori shouted, as the dragon roared, showing its might. "Genesis Dragon, destroy Zure, Knight of Dark World with Voltic Thunderblast!" The dragon brought its wings together, and the entire area was engulfed in a sphere of light, causing Zure to bring his arms up to shield his eyes.

"Not so fast, reveal Trap Card Darkness Wave!" There was hardly a moment to breathe as the ripples in the barrier began to form once again, this time at a much higher level of intensity. Detaching from the wall, dark waves headed straight for the burst of light, beginning to conceal it as Zure's monster was kept safe from harm.

[spoiler=Darkness Wave]
[b]Normal Trap Card[/b]
Activate only by banishing 1 "Dark" card in your Graveyard when your opponent's monster declares an attack. Negate the attack and destroy the attacking monster. Then, inflict 300 damage to your opponent.[/spoiler]

"Even your strongest of attacks has failed," Zure remarked. "With my Trap, your Genesis Dragon will be consumed by the power of darkness!"

Rayori stood his ground as the fiend bellowed with approval, soaking in his own confidence. Then, he grinned, much to Zure's confusion. "Not this time."

"It's far too late for you to make a comeback now!" The dark waves beginning to overtake the light force began to repel, as Zure stood in disbelief. What was happening?

"You're good, but you're underestimating me!" Rayori pressed the button on his duel disk, revealing his face-down card. "Because I activate the Spell Card, Foolish Return!"

[spoiler=Foolish Return]
[b]Quick-Play Spell Card[/b]
Select 1 card in either player's Graveyard and return it to its owner's Deck.[/spoiler]

"When you used the effect of Darkness Blade, your knight's weapon, you placed another copy of Dark Pulse from your Deck into the Graveyard, didn't you?" Zure didn't answer, simply watched, disparaged. "With Foolish Return, I'll do something generous, and let you send that card right back to where it came from! Which means you can't pay the cost needed to activate your Trap Card, and Genesis Dragon's attack continues in full force! Now go!"

As Rayori stood tall, the light force began to fight its way out, soon overpowering the barrier completely, and shattering the knight into thousands of small pixels. For a moment, he could see nothing, yet Rayori heard Zure roar in pain as the attack hit home.

[b]Zure's Life Points[/b]: 3600

[i]Lucky brat; he gets one shot in and he thinks he's on top of the world. Well, it's time to change that quick.[/i] "I admit, I didn't think you'd be able to damage me at all, so I've got to give you credit." Zure smirked. "But, if we're doing playing the hope game, I do have business I must attend to."

"What is it Zure? Afraid to feel any more pain?" Rayori could tell by the look in Zure's eyes and the lack of assurance in his voice that he had a slight hint of doubt within himself. As long as he'd been invincible, he had no reason to worry, and therefore had no reason to doubt his victory. But by breaking through his defenses, Rayori had just begun - only slightly - to get under his skin. The more damage he could deal, the weaker and less sure of himself Zure would become.

It was definitely possible to win this duel. It was just a matter of picking the right spots.

"I'll end with a face-down; best of luck to you." The card appeared in front of him as Rayori felt a stinging pain in his back, one that almost threw him off balance. This was perhaps the most real duel he'd ever participated in; the it went on, the more of a physical toll it took on his body. With Zure being a Duel Spirit, he was more equipped to handle these kinds of things, and therefore the pain wouldn't catch up to him nearly as quickly as it was with Rayori now.

"Afraid of pain?" Who did this kid think he was dealing with? "My entire life has been nothing but pain, misery, and being treated below everyone else. It's something you've never had to experience, no humans do. Life here is different, and yet you storm in here as though you have the right to lecture me, to tell me what is and isn't right? I am going to rule this world with an iron fist, to right the wrongs that have been committed by those before me! And you, you are in my way!"

[i]This guy's insane. He's so crooked, yet so powerful at the same time. I can do this, I know I can, but I can't help but wonder what the cost will be...[/i]

"No response?" Zure grinned; it wasn't normal, though. There was a craziness to it, he was beginning to lose his own mind, and Rayori was right, it was that pain which he'd felt that knocked him back into reality. This boy dared to challenge him, to damage him, he could not let that go unpunished. "That's much better. Now, I'll begin my turn by once again revealing the Tour Guide from the Underworld within my hand, to take the Dark Pulse from my Graveyard and reclaim it."

Rayori began to feel the rippling amongst the barrier behind him, knowing another attack was just seconds away. He braced himself.

"And why not? I shall start by activating it! Dark Pulse!" It didn't take more than a second for the ripple to intensify, flying straight off the wall and crashing right into the back of Rayori's right leg, knocking him off his feet. He felt the pain shoot through his body all at once, and found himself wanting to cry out, yet unable to. He reached for his leg but had lost complete feeling of his body.

[b]Rayori's Life Points[/b]: 2300

Everything was silent for a moment. No, wait. A sound. He could hear nothing but the sound of laughter, the bold, ruthless voice of that fiend, that creature standing across the field from him. Laughing at his agony, at the pain holding him down in its entirety. Zure believed he was weak, and he was beginning to believe the same thing. When Riley dueled the Gigantes, he was crushed by the avalanche - an act that would've killed any normal human being. But here he was, the skilled fighter, he'd mastered the blade, he'd gained significant resilience, and yet he couldn't even handle a servant of the Dark Wanderer. What had happened to him, to his confidence?

Who was this coward, this person taking over and controlling his emotions, plunging him into a tunnel of self-doubt, where any time something went wrong, he began to believe that he was a failure, that he couldn't handle even a simple task such as this. If it's true that he was chosen to lead the Spirit World into war, the second war that would undoubtedly be worse than the first, why was he on the ground, tears falling from his eyes, letting everyone down? When he'd first rescued Riley, he had all the confidence in the world, things had come easy to him, and yet somehow seeing Riley involved in that duel, a duel that Rayori himself knew he wouldn't have survived, had - in the blink of an eye - changed his outlook on everything.

Zure was right; he stood no chance of winning. Not in this state of mind, not as this coward who was useless. As soon as trouble arose, it was as though he'd gone right back to being that spoiled rich punk, who had everything handed to him and never had to do so much as take out the trash, nevermind lead a dual-world war. Maybe it wasn't him, maybe it wasn't his responsiblity to lead all these people. Perhaps he'd gotten in far over his head.

Perhaps.

But that was just it - he was already in. He could whine about it as much as he wanted to, knowing that inside it made him feel pity, pity for himself, and that pity was comforting. What good was it? What difference would that make? Instead of fearing this weakness, instead of letting himself grow weaker with his own lack of confidence, he could stand up, pull his s*** together, and truly make a difference. Riley wasn't dead yet, and there was no way he'd allow himself to be so. If he could weaken Zure, regardless of whether or not he had enough strength left to end his life, Riley might be able to stand a chance. Why not take the chance, stand up, and fight? He could either lie on the dirt like a pathetic shell of the person he'd just started to become, or he could pull himself to his feet, brush himself off, and duel like the Guardian he was chosen to be.

"What's so funny?" Rayori asked through gritted teeth as he pressed his hands against the ground, pulling himself upright. He stared straight across the field into Zure's eyes; the evil, unforgiving eyes seemed unable to move, full of pure shock. The laughter emitting from his mouth, at what appeared to be a nonstop pace, had ceased entirely. The fiend did not display confidence, or arrogance; there was fear. Fear within the eyes of the same creature that had wished to destroy Rayori in his entirety. This had started out as a battle with the sole intent of flaunting his power and preparing to eliminate Riley from this world by getting this brat out of his way. Zure had watched Rayori collapse to the dirt, and stay there motionless for what seemed like hours. And yet here he was, standing, covered in dirt, but standing, ready to fight. He was at a loss for words.

"I'm not confident in my chance of survival here." Rayori told the knight, who continued to stand, stunned. "But I realized that wallowing in my own self-pity wouldn't get me anywhere; if I'm going to fall, you're going to fall with me, you hear that?! I'm far from the best, or the worst, and I'm nowhere near the level I'm expected to be, but damnit, I'm better than that. I'm better than what you just saw, that pitiful shell of myself laying on the ground, feeling sorry for myself. Where's that going to get me, huh? That makes me no better than you, you sorry scum!"

"How dare you?!" Zure shouted, his rage building. "You dare speak to me like that! I will crush you! No more standing around, now I Summon Tour Guide from the Underworld!"

[spoiler=Tour Guide from the Underworld]
Level 3/DARK
Fiend/Effect
When this card is Normal Summoned, you can Special Summon 1 Level 3 Fiend-Type monster from your Deck. That monster cannot declare an attack as long as it remains face-up on the field.
1000/600[/spoiler]

The card Zure had revealed earlier, depicting a girl dressed in a mailman's outfit, with a mailbag over her shoulder clad with a skull and crossbones, materialized on the field, holding little to no power over Rayori's Genesis Dragon. But that wasn't why Zure had Summoned her.

"Now, with the effect of my Tour Guide, I'm allowed to call forth a Fiend-Type monster from my Deck and bring it to the field!" Zure selected a card, revealed it, and placed it on the field. Seconds later, a tall warrior, looking rather standard with the exception of a black orb of shadows in the center of its armor, where a heart would normally be. "I Summon, Dark Blitzer!"

[spoiler=Dark Blitzer]
Level 3/DARK
Fiend/Effect
This card cannot be destroyed by battle. Any Battle Damage you take from a battle involving this card is inflicted to your opponent instead. When this card is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard, inflict 300 damage to your opponent and Special Summon 1 "Darkness Memory" from your Deck in face-up Attack Position.
700/0[/spoiler]

"My creature is invincible, just like it's master!" Zure bellowed, commanding his creature to his side as the Tour Guide, just a tool to bring the more powerful force out, waited on the sidelines. "But I've got one more card before I pass the turn over to you, and your demise can truly begin! Behold, the Ring of Darkness!"

[spoiler=Ring of Darkness]
[b]Equip Spell Card[/b]
Equip only to a "Dark" monster. During your opponent's Standby Phase, pay 500 Life Points. This turn, your opponent must attack the equipped monster with all face-up monsters they control.[/spoiler]

A dark ring formed around the creature, which embraced it. Rayori watched, not even blinking. He'd regained his focus. It was time to win.

"Don't forget during the End Phase, you take an additional 100 points of damage thanks to my Barrier of Darkness!" This time, Rayori stood his ground as the ripple struck him in the right shoulder. He didn't budge, nor did he feel the pain.

[b]Rayori's Life Points[/b]: 2200

Zure was taken aback by the boy's resistance.

"I've realized now that in order to become strong, you must hit rock bottom first." Rayori wiped the sweat from his forehead, cringing as it stung his eyes. "I nearly fell apart, lost all hope to continue, but now, thanks to you, Zure, I realize that I'm on the right track, and that the strength within myself is exactly what I need to take you down! Now, go ahead and pay your 500 points, I'm perfectly willing to attack your Blitzer this turn!"

[b]Zure's Life Points[/b]: 3100

[i]What's he planning?[/i] Zure couldn't help but ponder as he made a fist, determined to crush this punk.

"See, you just made this so much easier! By bringing Dark Blitzer to the field, you've given me a chance to play the monster in my hand! Come on out, Effect Veiler!"

[spoiler=Effect Veiler]
Level 1/LIGHT
Spellcaster/Tuner
During either player's Main Phase, you can send this card from your hand to the Graveyard to select 1 face-up Effect Monster your opponent controls. Negate the effect(s) of that monster until the End Phase.
0/0[/spoiler]

A female angel, clad in a white jacket and black leggings that covered her lower body, appeared on the field in a small burst of light, which shot straight across the field, illuminating the Dark Blizter which Zure had Summoned moments ago. "When Effect Veiler is Summoned, the effect of your monster there is negated until the End Phase, meaning not only do I have to attack him, but his invincibility is gone!"

"It can't be!" Zure yelled out. "How could you have played around my ultimate move?!"

"It's simple, because I'm fighting for someone, to protect someone who would do the same for me, and anyone else for that matter!"

"Now, Genesis Dragon!" Rayori commanded the dragon's attention as it took flight. "Destroy his monster, attack with Voltic Thunderblast!" The dragon clapped its wings, then released them to create the same explosion of light that had destroyed Zure earlier, and shattered the Dark Blizter to pieces, Ring of Darkness and all.

[b]Zure's Life Points[/b]: 1600

"Ahhh! This pain, it can't be! I'm unstoppable!"

"There's more where that came from! Reveal Trap Card, Alliance Sacrifice!"

[spoiler=Alliance Sacrifice]
[b]Normal Trap Card[/b]
Select 1 monster you control. Tribute 1 other monster you control with the same Attribute as the selected monster. The selected monster can attack twice during this turn.[/spoiler]

"Alliance Sacrifice allows my Dragon to strike again, and this time, he'll take out your Tour Guide from the Underworld! Voltic Thunderblast!" Moments later, the mailwoman met the same fate, exploding into pixels as Zure began to feel even more pain. Incredible, undeniable pain.

[b]Zure's Life Points[/b]: 400

Rayori sighed. He'd done it, he'd managed to turn it around. He...wait. Rayori couldn't believe his eyes. As the smoke cleared, a huge creature, comprised entirely of shadows and vaguely resembling a spiked beast, towering over not only Rayori himself, but his Dragon by a longshot, stood on the field. As it roared, it sent pain through Rayori's entire body, the same pain he'd begun to feel before. This beast, it was feeding on the darkness between both of them, as well as within the duel, the Graveyards, and the field. He'd never seen or felt anything like it in his entire life.

[spoiler=Darkness Memory]
Level 8/DARK
Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. Must be Special Summoned (from your hand or Deck) by the effect of "Dark Blitzer". This card can attack your opponent's Life Points directly. This card cannot be destroyed by battle. You take no Battle Damage from battles involving this card. Your opponent must attack this card with all monsters they control. When this card is targeted for an attack, it gains ATK equal to the original ATK of the attacking monster. Once per turn, you can banish 1 DARK monster in your Graveyard to increase the ATK of this card by that monster's ATK.
0/0[/spoiler]

Zure stood, a demented look on his face. His own energy was now fueling this creature, allowing the darkness within his own heart to power the beast. Against his will, Genesis Dragon took flight once more, and fired an attack against the creature, which absorbed the entire thing with ease.

[b]Darkness Memory[/b]: 0 + 2200 = 2200

[i]What...what is this? I've never felt such pure darkness...I can't stand...[/i] Rayori began to cough, blood coming out of his mouth and splattering amongst the dirt below. This creature was draining his very energy right from within his own body.

"I will not be defeated!" Zure called out, though Rayori had trouble understanding his own words. "It doesn't matter what I must do, I shall win and darkness will consume you!"

Rayori attempted to maintain his balance, but could slowly feel himself fading. He took one card from his hand and placed it face-down in the duel disk, as it appeared in front of him. Seconds later, he dropped to the dirt, falling unconscious. A drop of blood from his forehead, followed by what looked like a stream, began to moisten the soil beneath him.

"Now, Darkness Memory, the ultimate power of darkness, it is time, to destroy the weak, and end this cherade!" Zure drew a card, but paid little attention to it. Not even announcing it, Zure took his own card, Zure, Knight of Dark World from the Graveyard and banished it, powering up his beast even more.

[b]Darkness Memory[/b]: 2200 + 1800 = 4000

"Attack him with Darkness Corrpution! Finish this!"

The creature formed a beam within its mouth, comprised of the darkest evils, pure hatred and strength derived from the darkness within the hearts of humans and Spirits alike, and fired it straight across the field.

"Trap Card, reveal!"

The boy's foot hit the ground, not noticing the puddle of blood he'd stepped in. It was the last thing on his mind.

[b]To be continued...[/b][/spoiler]


[spoiler=SPOILERS (read after)]

- Yes, I modified the effect of Tour Guide of the Underworld for story purposes. I'm not using Xyz's here, and I needed to be able to use Dark Blitzer's effect. I didn't change too much.

- I did a similar thing for Effect Veiler, being that he used it on his turn instead of his opponent's. Still, I think the story turned out pretty well.[/spoiler]

[Tokyo Duel]

Star, simply fantastic. I'm really running low on words to describe the sheer intensity each chapter brings to me; pretty soon I might have to go to thesaurus.com to find words. =/

[Synchronized]

[quote name='Koten' timestamp='1314887076' post='5483949']
Star, simply fantastic. I'm really running low on words to describe the sheer intensity each chapter brings to me; pretty soon I might have to go to thesaurus.com to find words. =/
[/quote]

Did you think it was that good? I have to say, out of all the Chapters I've written so far, this one is definitely my favorite. I tried not to overdo it with Rayori's pity, by taking Umbra's advice and sort of cooling it off a bit, while really allowing his character to gain that confidence back. I took a different route than I had been planning to originally and I think it worked out pretty well to be honest.

[Agro]

[quote name='Koten' timestamp='1314887076' post='5483949']
Star, simply fantastic. I'm really running low on words to describe the sheer intensity each chapter brings to me; pretty soon I might have to go to thesaurus.com to find words. =/
[/quote]
[size=4]Marvelous, wonderful, sensational, outstanding, superb, super, excellent, first-rate, first-class, dazzling, out of this world, breathtaking,[font=HelveticaNeue] [/font]great, terrific, fabulous, ace, magic, cool, wicked, awesome, brilliant, killer[/size]

[size=4]Do you need any more?[/size]

[Vector Nightmare]

Following Umbra's suggestion a long time after he made it, I read the first two chapters of this. I haven't read the previous seasons - if I read them in the past, I don't remember anything of it now. I won't lie when I say that the beginning did not quite draw me in. Benevolent hero fights jerk antagonist with worldwide fame and rare cards. Their respective personalities come to light during the duel, so everyone sees what a stupid jerk Tyaro is, and how kind and awesome and amazing Riley, who eventually manages a dramatic from-behind win, is. Yeah... no subversion here, in fact this is so much of a classic recipe that I found myself essentially predicting the next sentence. Granted, cliches aren't always bad, but throwing such a major one right there in our faces from the get-go was a bit disappointing. The rest of chapter 2 did not quite jump out of the world with its amazingness - classic mysterious evil brigade and mastermind, flashbacks (though the fact that they are probably from a previous season kind of justifies them and gives them a decent tone). Also the Tormentor thing reminds too much of Umbra's LotT... is it supposed to be related or something?

Anyways... yeah, plot-wise, not that impressed. I don't know how different I'd feel if I knew these characters from past seasons, because for now they seem rather shallow and cheap. You did a decent job with the duel, descriptions etc, but it didn't quite do the trick for me. I'll probably continue reading this, and I expect that it will gradually improve, as tends to happen with most stories that aren't just dropped after a few chapters, especially since Umbra thinks so highly of it. I felt that pointing out this much was important, though.

[Synchronized]

[quote name='~ Epic Hero - Saber ~' timestamp='1314898325' post='5484227']
Following Umbra's suggestion a long time after he made it, I read the first two chapters of this. I haven't read the previous seasons - if I read them in the past, I don't remember anything of it now. I won't lie when I say that the beginning did not quite draw me in. Benevolent hero fights jerk antagonist with worldwide fame and rare cards. Their respective personalities come to light during the duel, so everyone sees what a stupid jerk Tyaro is, and how kind and awesome and amazing Riley, who eventually manages a dramatic from-behind win, is. Yeah... no subversion here, in fact this is so much of a classic recipe that I found myself essentially predicting the next sentence. Granted, cliches aren't always bad, but throwing such a major one right there in our faces from the get-go was a bit disappointing. The rest of chapter 2 did not quite jump out of the world with its amazingness - classic mysterious evil brigade and mastermind, flashbacks (though the fact that they are probably from a previous season kind of justifies them and gives them a decent tone). Also the Tormentor thing reminds too much of Umbra's LotT... is it supposed to be related or something?

Anyways... yeah, plot-wise, not that impressed. I don't know how different I'd feel if I knew these characters from past seasons, because for now they seem rather shallow and cheap. You did a decent job with the duel, descriptions etc, but it didn't quite do the trick for me. I'll probably continue reading this, and I expect that it will gradually improve, as tends to happen with most stories that aren't just dropped after a few chapters, especially since Umbra thinks so highly of it. I felt that pointing out this much was important, though.
[/quote]

First off, extremely grateful you did. Imo, you're the best writer on this site, and with that in mind, having even a slight of contribution from you (positive or negative) tells me at least I'm starting on the right track.

The first couple of episodes are moreso a "recap" than anything else, and leave out a ton of plot details that are incorporated into the story later, starting about Episode 6. The story takes a much darker turn than the previous seasons (which were written three years ago and are far from where they should be, to say the least). It's about 8/9/10 that this season's plot starts to pick up, and we really learn about the elements of the Spirit world and how realistic everything is.

That said, I still have a lot of issues I need to work out and I'm trying as hard as I can to take away the Mary Sue cliche` ness I had in the first two seasons, and even in the beginning Episodes/Chapters of this one. I'm sure you'll find it gets slightly better as it goes along, especially because I've been telling a story with these characters for four years, so there's a lot to them, especially now.

I'm glad you checked it out and I hope you continue reading because I think once you get a little bit further in, you'll find it gets better, though it still needs some work.

^^;

[quote name='AggroDrago' timestamp='1314895767' post='5484144']
[size=4]Marvelous, wonderful, sensational, outstanding, superb, super, excellent, first-rate, first-class, dazzling, out of this world, breathtaking,[font=HelveticaNeue] [/font]great, terrific, fabulous, ace, magic, cool, wicked, awesome, brilliant, killer[/size]

[size=4]Do you need any more?[/size]
[/quote]

Did you like 11, too?

[Agro]

[quote name='Star' timestamp='1314900168' post='5484284']
Did you like 11, too?
[/quote]
I'm working my way through it. I've found myself hard pressed to find time the last few days. I like it so far though.

[Synchronized]

[quote name='AggroDrago' timestamp='1314900493' post='5484294']
I'm working my way through it. I've found myself hard pressed to find time the last few days. I like it so far though.
[/quote]

Same, especially with school starting in just a couple of days. No rush; just curious ^^;

[Synchronized]

@ Saber; I forgot to mention earlier about the Tormentor mention; it had originally been done as a Crossover with LotT; Umbra and I are good friends and I had his blessing to do so. It will again play a small part in this story, but as it loops around and explains why that happened in the first place. Of course, I don't want to give too much away as that's a rather big part of the story.

[Vector Nightmare]

Ooh, a crossover with LotT. What an exciting concept ~

Anyhow, read chapters 3 and 4. These ones were actually quite an improvement from the streamlined first two. Ace seems a more intriguing character than Riley, and I liked the concepts of Bryan and Aurkus as villains - it was good that you gave them depth rather than write them off, though Bryan's sister suddenly being tossed into the story felt a bit forced, since right now I had more than enough on my plate to accommodate a new plot point. The hate is falling on Tyaro - now he's a cruel, unreasonable sadist, murderer, and genocidal maniac on top of a world-class jerk. And if Bryan beat him [i]before [/i]Tyrao gave him the Forest Shatterer - at which point Bryan wasn't even that great, by his own admission, he's not even as good a duelist as his title suggests. Also, in chapter 4, you start off by claiming Celestios delivered the final blow, whereas in fact Celestios only took down Forest Shatterer, and it was Coelacanth who reduced Bryan's LP to 0. Chapter 4 was mostly exposition-filled, which is a good place to put down some infodump. I found it hard to focus on Riley's part, since it came so abruptly after important information had been delivered, but it was alright.

I'll keep you updated as I continue reading.

[Synchronized]

[quote name='~ Epic Hero - Saber ~' timestamp='1314917825' post='5485093']
Ooh, a crossover with LotT. What an exciting concept ~

Anyhow, read chapters 3 and 4. These ones were actually quite an improvement from the streamlined first two. Ace seems a more intriguing character than Riley, and I liked the concepts of Bryan and Aurkus as villains - it was good that you gave them depth rather than write them off, though Bryan's sister suddenly being tossed into the story felt a bit forced, since right now I had more than enough on my plate to accommodate a new plot point.

[b]That's true. The story with his sister will be played into later in the story, but it was one of those things I laid the groundwork for so that when the time comes to actually expand upon that, it's already been established. Perhaps a bit forced, yeah, but it wouldn't make sense at a later date.[/b]

The hate is falling on Tyaro - now he's a cruel, unreasonable sadist, murderer, and genocidal maniac on top of a world-class jerk. And if Bryan beat him [i]before [/i]Tyrao gave him the Forest Shatterer - at which point Bryan wasn't even that great, by his own admission, he's not even as good a duelist as his title suggests.

[b]That's part of the story I'm trying to tell. Tyaro is far from the best; he's using publicity, media, and force to create that appearance, but he's far from "great".[/b]

Also, in chapter 4, you start off by claiming Celestios delivered the final blow, whereas in fact Celestios only took down Forest Shatterer, and it was Coelacanth who reduced Bryan's LP to 0.

[b]I just went back and looked at that; it must've been a mistake I didn't catch when I looked at it the second time. Hmm. I've tried to avoid making mistakes like that as much as possible, especially because I've been paying much more attention to the story in the later chapters.[/b]

Chapter 4 was mostly exposition-filled, which is a good place to put down some infodump. I found it hard to focus on Riley's part, since it came so abruptly after important information had been delivered, but it was alright.

[b]That's one thing that definitely becomes easier to understand as the story progresses. I wasn't as into it when I started writing as I am now; now that I've gotten past the difficult part where you either keep going or completely quit, it's a lot easier to write a good story. [/b]

I'll keep you updated as I continue reading.

[b]Awesome, looking forward to it.[/b]
[/quote]

Chapter 12, which is arguably the story's biggest chapter up to this point, should be done by Saturday, but I'm not sure yet. I'm not rushing this one at all.

[Synchronized]

I've been hard at work on Chapter 12, which like I said, I'm not rushing at all because it's the first major conclusion point of the story. I hope everyone will enjoy the finish to the 3-part duel, which should be pretty good.

[Synchronized]

BUMP! Come on, I've only got like one response for Chapter 11!

Can't we get some comments?

[Agro]

I got to about the part with effect veiler and this really epic song came up on the radio. PERFECT TIMING. I got that feeling in my stomach I only get when I'm reading a story and am like: HOLY S*** this is epic. Excellent work, I really need to go read all the backstory stuff, lol.

[Synchronized]

[spoiler=Episode 12: The Dark One Rises (Part 3)]
It couldn't be. Though he saw the boy in the flesh, standing a mere ten feet away from him, Zure couldn't bring himself to believe that the boy he'd come to kill, the same one who'd been unconscious after an attack that should've killed him, was now standing on the opposite side of the field. Riley Storm, there, face-to-face with him.

Though he was standing, it wasn't to say he was in good condition by any means. His brown hair was torn and dry, to be expected after what he'd endured. After he'd gained enough strength to at least stand up, Riley had put on the jacket that Rayori placed over him, the dark leather exterior covering the majority of the blood on his white t-shirt. Despite looking weak, there was one thing Riley didn't lack, something Zure couldn't seem to shake despite having (essentially) lost it. His eyes. Within the boy's eyes was a look, a look he'd never before seen. A look that said no matter what he did, he stood no chance.

He, the powerful Zure, a knight who had endured hardship after hardship, and finally managed to get to this point and bring out the most powerful beast darkness has even known. After coming this far, he was beginning to doubt himself, all because of a look. And yet the anger, the confidence, the insanity, none of it could snap him out of this mindset. As Riley stood, confident, or maybe not even. It wasn't confidence that drove him, it was his absolute refusal to accept failing.

There was too much at stake; too often people had put their own lives on the line at his own expense, but not this time. He'd stood up as soon as he could, but even he knew that the duel had taken a toll on his body, and he wouldn't have been able to stop Rayori from playing the duel. Interesting how the tables had turned so quickly.

"Trap Card Activate, Reflect Wind!"

[spoiler=Reflect Wind][/font]
[b]Normal Trap Card[/b]
[font=courier new,courier,monospace]Negate the attack of 1 opponent's monster. Then, send 1 card from your Deck to the Graveyard. You can banish this card from your Graveyard to add 1 banished monster to your hand.[/spoiler]

As the forces of darkness prepared to blast Rayori into oblivion, Riley triggered his own friend's card, stepping in. A cyclone of poweful gusts emerged from it, meeting the attack head-on. Seconds later, there was a huge explosion in the center, knocking everyone back a few feet. Yet Riley stood his ground. The Darkness Memory was anything but pleased to see its attack had been interrupted.

"I'm done," Riley paused. "I'm done seeing people hurt themselves to keep me safe. If I matter so much, if I'm so important, then I'll survive on that dependence alone, but I refuse to allow anyone else to get hurt! Now Zure, if you're as powerful as you say you are, then how about this? We continue this duel, with me picking up where Rayori left off, Life Points and all. If you win, I go instead."

There was an almost eerie, calm silence within the air for a moment. "You fool, as honorable as your offer may appear, duels here aren't like the ones within your own world. You should know that by now. This beast you see before you is all too real, and I have to warn you, he gets quite hungry."

While he certainly wasn't afraid, Riley knew Zure's words were true. The Darkness Memory was real, and it would show no mercy. Rayori had done everything within his power to keep Riley safe. Riley glanced over to his fallen friend, and nodded. Now, it was his turn.

His turn to do the fighting.

---

[IMG]

Episode 12: The Dark One Rises (Part 3)

"With that in mind," Zure went on. "I accept your challenge. With this field, I am unstoppable! My creature cannot be beaten, a lesson your friend learned very well. Riley Storm, the true reason I am here is to destroy you, and I will do so, now even more easily than I had expected. I was going to just kill you, but feeding my beast sounds like a more useful way for you to go!"

Riley paid no attention to Zure's threats, for that's all they were. "That sounds like the least of my worries right now." He glanced over to Rayori, who lay still, not moving, or breathing for that matter. Was he...Riley shook away the thought.

"Perhaps you should get your priorities straightened out then," Zure spoke with that renewed confidence. For a moment, the surprise of seeing the boy he'd come here to hunt had taken him in shock, but now, realizing there was almost no way for Riley to pull himself out of this duel, out of the situation Rayori had gotten himself into, he'd take two souls for the price of one. What would the Dark Wanderer say now?

"Let's keep this duel moving," Riley searched through his Deck, taking the 'Necro Gardna' card and placing it into the Graveyard, as per Reflect Wind's second effect. "Now that I've sent a monster to the Grave, you're free to finish your turn, but your monster won't be attacking this turn."

"I don't understand," came the response as Zure continued to try and process things, for his own understanding. "You were in a state of unconsciousness, so close to death, barely alive, and yet here you are standing, mounting an attempt to fight. Why do you do it, boy? What drives you to make such foolish decisions?"

"There's nothing foolish about standing up for a friend, especially one who put his own life on the line for me." Riley didn't flinch as the breeze blew across the field, blowing his hair into his eyes for a moment. "Throughout this whole ordeal, and not just now, but the original Chaos Wars as well, I was always the one who needed protecting, the "child", would be the best way to describe it. But I've had enough of people suffering and losing their lives for me; it's time I take a stand, and I'm starting with you!"

"I must say, I admire your courage, especially for someone in your situation." Zure acknowledged the fallen duelist, the one he'd been responsible for the downfall of. And he smiled at it. "But you're too late for that, don't you see? Your friend was fighting for you, and look where it got him. You're so important to this world for reasons I'll never comprehend, everyone is fighting for you, not just here, and as the soon-to-be leader of the Dark Army, it's my job to remove you from the equation entirely. For you see, when you change an equation's parts, the end result is never what it was originally."

Zure's words had struck home, hitting his heart as though he'd just been shot. The thought that so many people already had died because of some need to keep him alive, whatever the reason; it wasn't fair, and it wasn't right. It was a burden that would never truly go away, knowing that he could've offered himself up and put a stop to all of this madness. But now, that wouldn't be the case. Too many people had died, too many lives had been lost, and if he were to just sit and give up now, it would have all been for nothing. He had to defeat Zure, no matter what the cost, and figure out how to restore peace to this fallen world.

"I shall end with a face-down," Zure concluded. "And you shall end in just a matter of moments, but not before Barrier of Darkness hits you for another one hundred points of damage!"

The ripple struck, but the boy didn't flinch. Not to say it didn't hurt, but he'd become oblivious to the pain at this point.

[b]Riley's Life Points[/b]: 2100

Riley looked up in awe at the monstrous beast of darkness that stood above him. It was unlike any creature he'd ever seen, yet still, it didn't affect him like the emotion of everything else. He could defeat it; he had a plan. While he hadn't kept up with the entire duel, he'd managed to recover just a few minutes before Rayori had fallen, in which he'd put together the pieces necessary to put a stop to Zure's monster. It was a complex strategy, and there was no guarantee he'd be able to pull it off, but it was worth a try.

There was no alternative.

"Draw!" He glanced at the card as he added it to his hand, nodding once. "I'll start by activating the Spell Card Instant Trap!"

[spoiler=Instant Trap]
[b]Normal Spell Card[/b]
Discard 1 Spell Card from your hand. Then, activate 1 Continuous Trap Card from your Deck. You cannot Summon a monster during the turn this card is activated.[/spoiler]

"By sending United We Stand from my hand to the Graveyard, I can activate the Trap Card Dimension Cycle!"

[spoiler=Dimension Cycle]
[b]Continuous Trap Card[/b]
During each of your End Phases, send the top 3 cards of your Deck to the Graveyard or destroy this card. If your opponent declares an attack while you control no monsters, you can select 1 monster from your Banished Zone and return it to the Graveyard.[/spoiler]

What appeared to be a warp in the dimensions emerged from the card, forming as if out of thin air, and increasing the intensity of the already blistful winds. "Two more face-downs should do it, then. And thanks to Dimension Cycle, I've got to send the top three cards of my Deck to the Graveyard."

Riley examined the cards quickly. Awesome, just as he'd hoped, another part of the combo. With Necro Gardna already in the Graveyard, he'd sent Necro Staffsman to the Grave as well. He was safe from harm, and next time Zure's Barrier of Darkness kicked in, he'd be in for a surprise.

"This should do it." Zure added his card to his hand, not looking at it, yet. He could sense what it was, but in actuality it was far from relevant at this point. Riley had wasted his turn on a meaningless Trap Card and a few face-downs. Perhaps it was denial at this point.

"I shall activate the ability of my Darkness Memory once more! Now my creature, absorb the energies of Tour Guide from the Underworld and increase your might even further!"

[b]Darkness Memory[/b]: 4000 + 1000 = 5000

"Now, attack with Darkness Corruption! Punish the souls of the ungrateful and send him to the shadows!" Riley braced himself, knowing even with his ability to block the attack, this was going to hurt. That creature, comprised of the souls of the dead, humans and Duel Spirits alike, was near unstoppable. He'd have to give it everything he had.

"Can the power of the souls of those once living stand up to the power of their own?!" Riley yelled as he banished Necro Gardna from his own Graveyard, and the undead warrior, clad in red armor and sporting a white ponytail appeared on the field to take the attack. Riley still felt the aftermath, but it was significantly less than he would've had it gone through entirely.

[spoiler=Necro Gardna]
Level 3/DARK
Warrior/Effect
Banish this card from your Graveyard to negate the attack of 1 opponent's monster.
600/1300[/spoiler]

"What?!" Zure was getting furious. "You survived again?! But how?!"

"If you're looking to win, you're in the wrong place!" Riley wiped the dirt from his eyes. "Don't you get it? The evil types never learn, do they? Until I'm physically unable to stand here and duel, I'm not going to give up!"

"Heh. That can be arranged." Zure muttered. "Your last line of defense has been broken through; stop holding on to something you've already lost, fool! Accept your defeat!"

"I think I'll press my luck." Riley stared into the eyes of his enemy, who returned the favor.

"Press what you will, for this shall be over soon enough." Zure glanced over his hand. "At my turn's end, my Barrier of Darkness kicks in, hitting you for more damage!"

The ripple began to charge, yet this time it wouldn't hit. Just as it prepared it's strike, a creature with a similar figure to Necro Gardna, except this one with a slimmer build, green armor, and a wooden staff in its right hand, appeared on the field to take the shot, and reflect it right back to where it came!

[spoiler=Necro Staffsman]
Level 1/DARK
Warrior/Effect
When an effect is activated that would inflict damage to your Life Points, banish this card from your Graveyard. Then, negate the effect, destroy the card, and inflict the damage to your opponent instead.
0/0[/spoiler]

"By removing Necro Staffsman in my Graveyard from play, the effect of your Barrier of Darkness is nullified!" Riley went on, noticing the frustration on Zure's face. "Then, it's destroyed, and you take the damage instead!"

The small warrior held out its staff, firing a blast of purple energy at the large fiend, who grimaced in pain.

[b]Zure's Life Points[/b]: 300

Riley breathed a sigh of relief as the barrier which had been surrounding them was now gone. Suddenly, he began to feel better, despite only slightly.

[i]Where is all of this power coming from? It makes no sense, he shouldn't be able to fight![/i] Zure couldn't believe his own eyes. Here he was with a destructive force, the most powerful monster in his entire Deck on the field and ready to strike, and yet it couldn't even damage Riley at all. These weak, meaningless monsters were obliterating his strategy. He had to do something to turn it around, but there wasn't much in terms of options.

"You've ended, so it's my draw again." Riley smiled as he looked at his card. "And I'll start with the Spell Card Allure of Darkness!"

[spoiler=Allure of Darkness]
[b]Normal Spell Card[/b]
Draw 2 cards. Then, banish 1 DARK monster from your hand. If you cannot, discard your entire hand to the Graveyard.[/spoiler]

"With this, I can draw two cards, as long as I remove a DARK monster from my hand." He looked it over. There were none. Infact, the only monster he'd drawn was a simple 'Spear Dragon'. As such, he folded up the five card hand and placed it in the Graveyard.

"Ha, are you giving up now?" Zure asked, though his own ego was beginning to annoy him, knowing Riley wouldn't have made a move that stupid.

"Far from it, but I guess I just got an unlucky hand," Riley replyed calmly. "I guess I'll end, then."

"My move, and this tme, you have no tactic to defend you!" Zure shouted. "Why waste any more time? Darkness Memory, obliterate the last of his Life Points! Darkness Corruption!"

Again the attack was fired, as Zure watched on, knowing the Necro Gardna would be unable to make another saving appearance. However, as the attack was about to strike, the warp that had appeared within the air began to twirl, easily multiplying in size and destroying it.

"What?!" Zure called out in a fit of rage. "How can this be? Necro Gardna had already been removed from play!"

"You're right," Riley explained. "However, since you attacked me directly while I control no monsters, Dimension Cycle's effect kicked in, allowing me to return Necro Gardna to the Graveyard! From there, I just removed it again to put a stop to your attack! There's no way I'm going to let you win that easily."

“It’s foolish to attempt and continue.” Zure knew he might be able to get inside Riley’s head with enough effort, but at the same time, the boy’s lack of reaction to his words had begun to instill doubt.

“I’ve been known to do some stupid things before,” Riley snapped back. “And while I’ve got a lot more to take seriously now, I think I can afford to make an exception. So thanks, but I’ll keep going. Now are you finished? Because I’m about ready to end this duel, one way or another.”

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Zure had given Rayori the same chance, yet the fool had chosen to continue, and look at him now. Of course, in Riley’s case, he hadn’t expected anything less. Besides, he had to kill the boy. That was the only way he’d get the promotion he’d so long desired.

“Thanks for your generosity, I’ll keep it in mind.” Riley drew his card, glanced at it, and smiled. ‘Pot of Duality’. Awesome. “Now, I’ll start by activating the Spell Card Pot of Duality!”

[spoiler=Pot of Duality]
[b]Normal Spell Card[/b]
Pick up the top 3 cards of your Deck and reveal them. Select 1 and add it to your hand. Then, shuffle the remaining 2 cards into your Deck. You cannot Special Summon during the turn this card is activated.[/spoiler]

Riley drew all three cards at the same time, and immediately revealed them, allowing Zure to see what he’d drawn. ‘Reborn Tengu’, ‘Monster Reincarnation’, and ‘Spear Dragon’. They were all useful, but with the combo he had in mind, one more would be more useful than the rest. “I choose, Monster Reincarnation!”

“Heh,” Zure cackled. “What, you’re going to bring back one of your pitiful creatures to try and gain the upper hand? All you can do is stall. My beast of darkness doesn’t appreciate that, and he’s about to let you know it.”

“He’s gotta catch me first.” Riley grinned. “Back to the game. I Summon Necro Defender, in Defense Mode!”

[spoiler=Necro Defender]
Level 2/DARK
Fiend/Effect
You can banish this card from your Graveyard to select 1 face-up monster you control. Until the End Phase of your opponent’s next turn, the selected monster cannot be destroyed by battle and you take no Battle Damage from battles involving it.
0/800[/spoiler]

A blue fiend, looking similar to a shield but with arms and legs, appeared on the field. It was small in size, but its special ability would more than make up for it.

“I end my turn.”

“Ah, just what I was hoping for,” Zure said aloud as he looked at his draw. “Your time is up, and your little strategy is useless now! I activate the Spell Card Dark Cyclone!”

[spoiler=Dark Cyclone]
[b]Quick-Play Spell Card[/b]
Banish 1 “Dark” card from your Graveyard to destroy 1 Spell or Trap Card on the field and inflict 400 damage to your opponent.[/spoiler]

Suddenly, the warp was swallowed up by a much larger one, a tornado comprised of complete darkness.

[b]Riley’s Life Points[/b]: 1700

[i]That shouldn’t have been so easy. What’s he up to?[/i] “Enough of this, Darkness Memory, destroy him and finish this!”

“You know, for a bad guy, you get pretty repetitive,” Riley quipped. “It’s the same move every turn; you never pick up on it. Reveal Trap Card, Trap of Darkness!”

[spoiler=Trap of Darkness]
[b]Normal Trap Card[/b]
You can only activate this card if your Life Points are 2000 or less. Banish 1 Trap Card from your Graveyard. The effect of this card becomes the same as the banished card until the End Phase.[/spoiler]

“When this card is activated, I – ”

“I know what it does!” Zure interrupted, his anger increasing by the second. “Just make your move, I’ve had enough of this!” The knight was beginning to panic. He’d spent so much time toying with them, and now he was running out of time. He had to win this duel, and soon. Despite his confidence, he was beginning to question his own chances of truly winning. Darkness Memory had been able to overwhelm Rayori, but had no effect on Riley at all. A beast powerful enough to destroy entire worlds, yet it hardly felt like anything now, with Riley showing no fear at all. [i]How could the boy have come so close to death and yet have no sense of fear, knowing he could easily lose everything?[/i]

“You’re right,” Riley took the Dimension Cycle from his Graveyard, banishing it. “Trap of Darkness takes effect, activating Dimension Cycle, which then brings Necro Gardna back to the Graveyard! And like you said, you know the rest!”

Again, the warrior blocked the attack that – if It were to connect – would end Riley’s existence, and Rayori’s as well. It was the adrenaline that kept Riley going at this point. That, and his refusal to lose. It wasn’t an option.

“How many more times am I going to have to deal with this joke of a strategy?!” Zure was outraged now; Riley could see it in his eyes. Yet the frustration could work to his advantage. Every turn, he just drew his card and commanded his next attack. It was easy to block the attacks because there was no strategy – no skill involved at all. If he was going to win this duel, he had to do it now.

“My go!” He drew his card. ‘Necro Defense Unit’, and added it to his hand. This is where the last of his three face-down cards would come in handy.

“And I summon, Necro Defense Unit in Defense Mode!” A squadron of three soldiers clad in neon green armor, each wielding a short sword, appeared on the field. One of the soldiers gave a slight nod to the Necro Defender, which in turn responded with a growl.

[spoiler=Necro Defense Unit]
Level 2/DARK
Warrior/Effect
You can banish this card you control to select 1 monster you control. This turn, the selected monster cannot be destroyed by battle.
500/1800[/spoiler]

“I don’t understand you, boy,” Zure said, looking over his hand for potential outs. “You can build up an entire army of pitiful monsters, and the outcome will remain the same.”

“There’s some things you don’t take the time to understand,” Riley said, grabbing Zure’s attention. “You’re too busy focusing on gaining power, instead of having something worthwhile to fight for. And that, that will be your downfall. Now I end, and this will be the last turn of the duel; all that’s left is to decide the winner.”

“I agree,” Zure nodded as he drew. For this would be the final move. “With the Spell Card, Ultimate Darkness!”

[spoiler=Ultimate Darkness]
[b]Normal Spell Card[/b]
Banish all cards from your Graveyard. For each “Dark” card banished, 1 face-up monster you control can attack an additional time this turn. In addition, that monster inflicts piercing Battle Damage.[/spoiler]

“With my Spell Card, Darkness Memory is given a total of four attacks, meaning you stand absolutely no chance!”

[i]Oh man…I better hope this works, otherwise I’m done for…[/i] Zure began to laugh, a smile lining his face from one fiendish cheek to the other. “Riley Storm, you have lived on far longer than I had originally intended. I am a knight of great statue, and I cannot allow this embarrassing cherade to continue any longer. Now, you shall die!”

In what would be the final blow, the beast of darkness reared its head back, firing a beam of pure black energy across the field. Riley braced for impact as his Necro Defense Unit sprung into action.

“Here’s my last ditch effort!” Riley cried out. “By banishing Necro Defense Unit, I can make it so Necro Defender is safe for the rest of this turn!”

“It won’t matter, for Ultimate Darkness also allows Darkness Memory to inflict damage to your Life Points equal to the difference between its attack and your monster’s Defense! And with five thousand attack points, it has more than enough to wipe you out!”

“It would be,” Riley was quiet, yet confident as he revealed his final face-down card. “If I hadn’t set this! Activate, Necro Force!”

[spoiler=Necro Force]
[b]Normal Trap Card[/b]
Activate only when your opponent declares an attack while you have 3 or more banished “Necro” monsters with different names. Negate the attack, and send cards from the top of your opponent’s Deck to the Graveyard equal to the difference between the ATK of the attacking monster and the ATK of the monster targeted for an attack. If more than 10 cards are sent to the Graveyard by this effect, you must skip your next Draw Phase.[/spoiler]

“What, it can’t be! There’s no way!” Zure shrieked.

Faded images of the three monsters which Riley had relied on earlier to get him to this point appeared on the field, a similar white aura surrounding them, as they put their hands together to stop the attack, redirecting it backwards, straight at the creature which had fired it.

“Just like my friends and I, my monsters will fight to protect one another, no matter what the cost!” It had worked. “Since your Darkness Memory has five thousand attack points, and my Necro Defender doesn’t have any, you have to send fifty cards from your Deck to the Graveyard! And since that’s not realistically possible, this game is over!”

The white aura surrounded the beast, which let loose a large shriek before it was gone.

[b]Zure’s Life Points[/b]: 0

Instantly, Riley let go of the bravado and reached for his right arm, which was stinging with pain. He’d managed to ignore it for the sake of the duel, but it had become extremely intense.

“I don’t believe this, this isn’t how it was supposed to happen! No, I refuse to go this way!”

A dark veil encased Zure, as his distinctive characteristics seemed to disappear, leaving nothing but a black shadow. He roared, firing a blast of energy into the air. Riley heard the familiar sound of the Darkness Memory beast he’d just destroyed as it began to make its way back into this dimension.

He gulped.

This wasn’t a duel anymore.

[b]To be continued...[/b][/spoiler]

So that's the end of the duel, and the mini-arc, sort've. The mini arc actually has a fourth part, titled [i]Destroying the Beast[/i], which will premiere within the next couple of days. I hope everyone likes it. Please leave some feedback!

[Agro]

*looks at length of chapter*
*looks up at clock*
*looks back at screen*
*looks back at clock*
I'll read this tomorrow.

[Divine Chaos]

I haven't finished it yet, but from what I've read, I like it so far. I'm definitely following this thread, so keep it up!

[Synchronized]

Awesome, thanks guys! Hoping to get some responses on 12!

[Agro]

Alright, I'm only through the preface right now, and I'm a little disappointed. First off, I have no idea what's going on. I'm sure I'll piece it together as I read along, but as I read through it, it didn't make much sense. I mean, I had some idea of what was going on, but I felt like it could have been a bit better written.

When we left: Rayori was activating a trap card we all assumed would win the duel as he stepped in a pool of blood we assumed was his own and Riley was sleeping soundly, er, dying, in his bed.

As we return (from what I've gathered): Riley is awake, has hair loss, is standing next to Rayori, who is lying in a pool of blood that may or may not be his own, and the trap card did not win him the duel; because it's actually as useful as Defense Draw. Oh, and the guy that was dying in his bed is now alive and going to be dueling. Hope that works out.

Alright, I'll finish and get through the rest of it; that first part was probably just a blip in the radar.