Aperture Laboratories

[Quiksilver]

[center][img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110316200445/half-life/en/images/thumb/e/e9/Aperture_Labs_entrance_end.svg/493px-Aperture_Labs_entrance_end.svg.png[/img][/center]

[b]Greetings, Test Subjects! My name is Luxray, and I am here on the behalf of the former Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center supervisor, Wheatley, who is not here because he [size="1"]waslostinspaceafterhavingtriedtodestroythisentirefaculty[/size] is taking a personal vacation.

Now, I know you all feel groggy and upset. As you should! You've just woken up from a deep medically-induced sleep for many, many years! You might have a slight case of serious brain damage, but what's a few gray blobs of matter, right? It's just the very thing that makes you who you are, but it's nothing some glue won't fix. And at least you weren't in Relaxation Chambers 1533-1538. Poor bastards never saw the laser beams coming. But the chances of the defense systems malfunctioning again are probably very low, so you don't have to worry.

So, after you fill out this assessment test, I'll assess whether or not you're capable for testing, or, if not...you might have to pay a short visit to Test Chamber 19. There you shall get a...physical. With cake. Yeah, lots of cake. NO furnaces whatsoever. None. At all. What a silly idea, a furnace at the end of Test Chamber 19. How ridiculous.
[/b]

So, obviously, this is a club dedicated to Valve Corporation games, specifically Portal and Portal 2. While most discussion will take place about the games therein, feel free to go off topic every now or then. However, don't go too many times, or you might have to encounter...[i]her[/i].

[spoiler=Aperture Laboratories Testing Policy]
1. All YCM rules apply.
2. READ before posting.
3. You must obey or encounter the wrath of my Thermal Discouragement Beam. Despite the name, it doesn't do a lot of discouraging...MORE SO OF DESTROYING!!!
4. Good grammar is a must.
5. Use common sense. Just because I didn't specifically list a rule here doesn't mean you can act in a disrespectful way in any manner whatsoever.
6. Break these rules, and I'll break out my Thermal Discouragement Beam again.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Test Subject Tabulation Index]
[b]Test Subject Overseers-[/b] [color="#0000FF"]Lux[/color][color="#FF8C00"]ray[/color]

[b]Exemplary Test Subjects-[/b]

[b]Test Subjects-[/b] [color="#FF0000"]: ҉ Ž[/color]äīἢ, [color="#FF0000"]Klavier[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Gavin[/color], [color="#FFA500"]Happy Ma[/color][color="#708090"]sk Salesman[/color], [color="#9932CC"]Ga[/color][color="#FF8C00"]mon[/color], [color="#008000"]Justice Master [/color][color="#FFFFFF"]of Spoons[/color], [color="#696969"]Alex C[/color][color="#FF00FF"]. Exodia[/color], [color="#FF8C00"]TheGuyWi[/color]thTheCrowbar, [color="#FF0000"]Pokef[/color][color="#2E8B57"]anatic[/color]

[b]Failed Test Subjects-[/b]

---

Here are the requirements and benefits of each level;

Test Subject Overseers- Requirements: Be an avid poster, and/or start club-sponsored project, and/or make donations to the club, and be promoted to this position by Overseer.
Benefits: Post in thread. Start and participate in community-sponsored projects (i.e. RPs, fanfics, etc.) if specifically stated that only club members can apply. Accept/reject apps and ban members.

Exemplary Test Subjects- Requirements: Be an avid poster and/or make donations to the club.
Benefits: Post in thread. Start and participate in club-sponsored projects (i.e. RPs, fanfics, etc.) if specifically stated that only club members can apply, WITH Overseer permission.

Test Subjects- Requirements: Post app and be accepted into club.
Benefits: You may post in thread, and participate in club-sponsored projects (i.e. RPs, fanfics, etc.), if specifically stated that only club members can apply.

Failed/ Test Subjects- Requirements: Join club, but then not post for a significant amount of time without warning. Must repost app before you will be accepted as a regular Test Subject. Benefits: None.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Events at Aperture Laboratories]
[b]An index of all your many testing successes and failures shall be listed here. There will probably be more of the latter, but I try to remain optimistic. Though it's hard with some of the test subjects I have. I'm not naming names. You know who you are.[/b]

All important days and events will be listed henceforth:

May 06: Bring-Your-Daughter-to-Work Day! (Club opened.)[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Aperture Hall of Scientific Fame]
[b]Invariably in the pursuit of science, there will be certain accomplishments by Test Subjects that go beyond that of the testers' expectations. Whether it be in the vein of Einstein and his discoveries, or of that Albert Michelson, who created a measure to examine something that didn't exist, there are certain Test Subjects among you that affect Aperture Science profoundly. For these (un)lucky few, they and their accomplishments shall be recorded here. Unless it's one of those hush-hush super-secret experiments that we can't talk about. Like Area 51.[/b]

Also, you'll get a +Rep.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Test Subject Assessment Form]
Username:
Portal Colors: {We here at Aperture Science encourage creativity among Test Subjects, up until the point of people getting ideas to escape- I mean, try to get more vacation hours. Thus, we shall allow you to pick your own two Portal colors, which shall also be used to mark down your name on the Test Subject Tabulation Index. Make sure they aren't the same colors as someone else.}
Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?:
What can you do to further the advance of science?:[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Aperture Advertisements & Merchandise]
[b]We haven't received the "I survived GLaDOS" T-shirts yet, so enjoy some Test Subject-made banners![/b]

If you wanna advertise the club, you can use this image...

[img]http://i1021.photobucket.com/albums/af339/redeyesclan/PortalBanner-1.png[/img]

Credit for awesome sig goes to [url='http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/user/172788-%D2%89-zai%E1%BC%A2/']: ҉ Žäīἢ[/url][/spoiler]

[Žäīἢ]

Username: ҉ Žäīἢ
Portal Colors: Red and Black
Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: Puzzle solving is fun!
What can you do to further the advance of science? I will my vast resources that is my knowledge, to solve any problem and/or challenge set before me.

[Quiksilver]

Accepted. Obviously. Welcome to the club!

[.Nu-13]

Username: Klavier Gavin
Portal Colors: Red & Blue
Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: My life makes no sense and I have to hang out somewhere
What can you do to further the advance of science?: Anything what needed

[Headmaster Monokuma]

Username: The Happy Mask Salesman
Portal Colors: Bronze and Sliver
Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: Well, you see young man, traveling all over Halla can make some crazy things happen to you. It gets worse when you want to create chaos in a territory, so I have to blend in as much as I can to be able to influence people. It can take anywhere from days to years, and I suppose I need a vacation every now and then.

TL;DC: I was bored.

What can you do to further the advance of science?: I can provide accurate data to influence the events that take place and mess with things and the like.

[Quiksilver]

Very nais, both accepted. Please proceed to the nearest exit and standby for testing.

Wait- except you, Happy Mask Salesman. You stay put. You see, you stole my favorite color- Silver. And now I'm going to flood your Relaxation Chamber with neurotoxin. Standby as I prep the machine.

Kidding, welcome in.

[Ice.]

[font=tahoma, arial, verdana, sans-serif]Username: Rainbow Dash
Portal Colors: This i[color="#ffffff"]s fine[/color]
Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: Because I was bored.
What can you do to further the advance of science?: Whatever is needed, I guess?[/font]

[Quiksilver]

[quote name='Rainbow Dash' timestamp='1304797091' post='5193937']
[font=tahoma, arial, verdana, sans-serif]Username: Rainbow Dash
Portal Colors: This i[color="#ffffff"]s fine[/color]
Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: Because I was bored.
What can you do to further the advance of science?: Whatever is needed, I guess?[/font]
[/quote]

Do I take that as black and white?

[Quiksilver]

Bump for Rick's sake.

So...who else bought Portal 2?

[Žäīἢ]

I did.

I also beat it on co-op and single player. The only thing that pisses me off though is that PSN went down the day before I got it, and now I can't redeem my free copy for my PC. >.<

[Quiksilver]

I haven't yet, unfortunately. My friend has though, so I've been borrowing his.

Halfway through single-player, beat co-op at friend's house. Both are a blast.

[六兆年と一夜物語]

Username: Gamon

Portal Colors: Purple - Gold

Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: SCIENCE

What can you do to further the advance of science?: So we can have frikin' sharks with laser beams attached to their heads

[Žäīἢ]

[quote name='Luxray' timestamp='1305334290' post='5206652']
I haven't yet, unfortunately. My friend has though, so I've been borrowing his.

Halfway through single-player, beat co-op at friend's house. Both are a blast.
[/quote]

They are. And once the Playstation Store goes back up, I'll be able to play it wherever I go.

Anyway, here's a new discussion topic. Say you placed two portals on walls opposite to each other, and you were standing between them. Then, the walls were pushed into each other, and there was no distance, not even a nano-meter, between the set of portals. What would happen to you, and where would you go?

[Quiksilver]

Hmm. Fabric of the universe breaks? I dunno.

Accepted, Gamon. Welcome to the club! Please note Aperture Laboratories and Aperture Science as a whole does not support the research of laser-beam sharks.

[Justice Master]

Username: Justice Master of Spoons
Portal Colors: Jade and White
Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: They told me I would get payed to get into holes. I thought it was golf or sex.
What can you do to further the advance of science?: Burn houses down.... with lemons.

[Quiksilver]

That's a very noble pursuit for science, Justice Master. I'm sure our founder would agree. Accepted~

[Justice Master]

Thank you! I am also interested in doing a rainbow laser, or The Deathbow.

@: ҉ Žäīἢ You would be in a hole, in between the two walls.

[Christian Exodia]

I didn't buy it, but I know the story VERY well. <BR><BR>Username: Christian Exodia<BR> <BR>Portal Colors: Grey and Fuschia<BR> <BR>Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: To save the family. <BR><BR>What can you do to further the advance of science?: Shows what happens when you give a guy a pit full of spikes and a portal gun. <BR><BR>Oh, and the cake IS A LIE, words spoken and written by Doug Rattman.

[Doc.]

[quote name='Luxray' timestamp='1305731012' post='5216783']
That's a very noble pursuit for science, Justice Master. I'm sure our founder would agree. Accepted~
[/quote]
Username: ThatGuyWithTheCrowbar (Just call me OrangeBox will ya?)
Portal Colors: Orange & Black
Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: I love defying gravity.
What can you do to further the advance of science?: I could install a brain chip to make portals appear wherever you feel with only 6 Brainwatts to zap a portal, without the hassle of holding something!

[Žäīἢ]

[quote name='Justice Master of Spoons' timestamp='1305784848' post='5218435']
Thank you! I am also interested in doing a rainbow laser, or The Deathbow.

@: ҉ Žäīἢ You would be in a hole, in between the two walls.
[/quote]

How could there be a hole? A portal only leads to the other one. There would be no hole. :/

[~The Dark one~]

[font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size=4]Username: Pokefanatic[/size][/font]
[font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size=4]Portal Colors: red and wight[/size][/font]
[font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size=4]Why did you volunteer to be a Test Subject?: love [/size][size=2]science[/size][/font]
[font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size=4]What can you do to further the advance of science?: help banners and stuff like that[/size][/font]

[Quiksilver]

All three of you are accepted, although Pokefanatics, I must take wight as "white" in the sense of the colors. If I'm mistaken and wight is a color that had been recently discovered, please do inform me.

Also, I think it's safe to say that you would be squished between the walls, which are forced together, thereby killing you.

[~The Dark one~]

edit red and green

[Quiksilver]

Alright. Now, what's your stand on the discussion? Whatt do you think would happen if two portals were squished together?

And, if that conversation is running a little dry, how about we talk about this; is Rattmann still alive?

[Žäīἢ]

[quote name='Quiksilver' timestamp='1306452459' post='5234024']
Alright. Now, what's your stand on the discussion? Whatt do you think would happen if two portals were squished together?

And, if that conversation is running a little dry, how about we talk about this; is Rattmann still alive?
[/quote]

I believe that if he was dead, you would have found his skeleton in the room where the final transmission was located. Therefore I feel that he is alive, unless he got killed in the fires that occurred while Wheatley was in charge (or got sucked into space while you were gazing at Earth for those 5 some seconds.)