Legacy - Teaser (Something Different As My First Fan-Fic, Post If You Want More)

[Wicket]

[align=center] The Crusader Of Death commanded legions of thousands under rule, as they marched across a plain and lifeless world, as the bloody sun was setting, falling, crying in pain.

 

The Crusader wielded armor, mass and daunting, enough to frighten even the boldest of men to step up to fight that terror. All the troops, weapons at hand, began to march towards a burning city in the horizon, difficult to see due to the raging sand of the wasteland they marched over.

 

As they continued across ruins of falling buildings, ruins of fallen ships, and hundreds of corpses, they met their enemy across the next ridge............

 

A small boy, roughly around the age of 13 from a far distance, as the Crusader was. Clothes torn, his image in shambles, the boy could barely stand, yet there he was, standing in front of a blazing world, the destruction of his city, his country, his world. Yet in his face, tears had not emerged of sadness, but tears of anger and outrage.

 

The boy had lifted his head up to stare at the Crusader. Most people would run at the Crusader's sight, but he did not. On the contrary, he stood boldly, with all the energy he had left.

 

There, in his stare, 2 red, bloodshot eyes, staring down the Crusader, ready to kill him where he stood.

 

Most troops took several steps back, frightened at the boy's deadly gaze, but realized soon enough, he was just a child. Week, defenseless, hopeless. This battle would end soon.

 

Little did the Crusader know, they were staring at their own death, through his eyes of pain and sorrow, and The Crusader's eyes of death and destruction.

 

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Nobody knew how long the battle was, but in the midst of it all, it did not matter. There he was, staring over that ridge, as the sun was nearly gone.

 

He almost forgot he was standing amongst a graveyard, a grave of The Crusader and men. He slowly walked up to the Crusader, lifted the helmet, and gave a kiss. He slowly walked away from the Crusader, as her body seemed to drift away into the sand, consumed by the wasteland of the destruction she and her men had caused.

 

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As he had walked away, he looked up to see a spherical object in the sky, large enough to be orbiting the wasteland of a planet, to which there was no more life in its existence. A moon, perhaps? No, it was a battle station, as he could see tiny shimmering lights dance across its surface, as smaller silhouettes passed in front of it, unleashing more lights.

 

Another battle was waging above the planet.

 

At first it was only around the battle station, but in mere minutes, the entire sky was blanketed in millions and millions of ships, waging complete and utter destruction upon each other. The universe had already been thrown into chaos.

 

And yet, through the battle, he saw an image, a young boy living a normal life on a peaceful planet. Why was he seeing this? Was this the life he was going to live? No, his body was already dead, his spirit was surviving just a little longer, to force him to see this.

 

That image in the blank and tainted sky disappeared, and another took it's place, this time an image of that very same boy, amongst all his friends. Their faces were so happy, for the first in his bleak existence, he was beginning to cry of joy. Why could he not live that very life?

 

Maybe it was just a vision of something to come. Maybe it shall happen soon. Yes, soon. Very, very soon. Something that could not happened, if his life had not occurred, and now, passing into the shadows before his very eyes.

 

And as the sand of bloodshed whipped his face and the very ground he was still standing on, he saw something he had not seen in a while.

 

Cardboard. Strangely drawn, with a weird pattern on the back, but on the front, lied something that already told the future. As the darkness from that card enveloped his hands and body with darkness, he realized, he had paved a way for the future.

 

The ships had all been gone, destroyed in a cataclysmic event that was coming for him. He looked back at his hometown, particularly a playground all the kids would play at. The entire planet was being engulfed in a massive light.

 

And even now, he could still hear kids screaming, playing, laughing at the playground, as if nothing had happened.

 

His body had become numb, could no longer feel anything. His body was being swept away in the sand, as the rest of the planet began to fall apart. Life itself was being torn apart from the inside.

 

He began to smile, for the first time since he was born, now that life had now ended, staring into the emptiness of the abandoned space and time before him....................................

 

Life, had now ceased to exist.

 

And his legacy............................lives on................................

 

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Yes, this is my first fan-fic ever, and yes, you could say how it's so horrible you never want me to write fan-fics again, I know, I know. Trust me, everybody said I'm a writer.

 

Uh..............................

 

I still don't see it. Anyway, I've been thinking of actually writing this fan-fic on YCM for quite a while now. It's extremely original, and it's been in progress for 6 years, 7, now that it's 2008. (Yes, 7 years. My imagination is that vivid.)

 

Anyway, this is a continuing story, so, if enough people like it (Yes, it will feature dueling and all sorts of twists from games and movies that you all know like Star Wars and Halo, and sure, I may be coping stuff from those great storylines, they're going to be incorporated into something bigger, but this fan-fic is not going to incorporate dueling all the time. Sure, sometimes you'll see a duel, but it's basically part of something a lot bigger, with an even bigger plot detail and storyline. Trust me, if you give me a chance and understand how big of a fan-fic I'm writing, you'll see that this is something big. Really big. Not WAY WAY big, but big, in all due respect), then I will continue to make more.

 

Until then, give your comments, I know this wasn't a very dramatic story, but I'd love to hear your comments and any suggestions you might want to make in future storys/fan-fics I may write.

 

P.S. You can make any comment you want, as long as it's reasonable, I don't mind. You won't break my heart. Trust me. It ain't easy to do that. I've already had failed attempts at that. You'll just be wasting time, effort, and crappy trash talk, so please, for the sake of all of us, including myself and Star, don't even bother.

 

(Don't ask me why I wrote Star's name there. Trust me, I don't know either. Maybe it's just because we all know his heart breaks rather easily. Meh, who's to say.)[/align]

[StevenBray]

not bad, not the best thing I've read but not bad either. You could I suppose give more details about the surroundings, thoughts and feelings etc. but still very nice, 7/10

[Wicket]

Thanks for the comment, and yes, I know there aren't many details, but since this was short, and this is all of this certain time in the fan-fic, there really weren't much details needed to be put in, but, as my Lit teacher always told us "show, don't tell".

 

Yeah, I could've done more, but seeing as this was just a trailer for the real fan-fic, and it only took me, 'bout 10 minutes to type up, there's a lot more I could've done, and will do in future chapters, if this fan-fic is going to be a hit.

 

Most likely not, but I don't mind.

[Wicket]

Bump.