Mehmani Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Here, eh? Well, you must have been interested enough in the title to have opened this thread. It's overly long and would be utterly useless anywhere other than this site. Why? The people on this site are stupid. Not endearingly so, but offensively stupid, the type of stupidity reserved for city boys and 'aromatherapy' parents. The type of stupidity that makes me and most rational people want to attack children with rusty secateurs and a garlic crusher, but back to the point: most denizens of this site will be attracted by an overly long filled with big, random words. This is because they are offensively stupid and hideously ignorant. So ignorant, in fact, that their brains probably have weird deformities like the Elephant Man crossed with Wee Jimmy Krankee. If managed to read that taster without thinking that I am a prick, then you are already useless. You are weak and scared, so much so that even in your own head you cower in fear like an altar boy cornered by an advancing priest. You deserve to be executed in a humiliating way, like being stomped to death by a clown. A clown with mental disabilities. In front of a fistful of the world's smuggest schoolchildren, hand-picked for their love of homoeopathy and liking of Macs. They'd laugh their little bastard heads off, wouldn't they? They would, the sickening little twats. [spoiler=7.3.11.]Hey everyone, isn't this writer such a baka?! Hey, what a tsundere! Tell me you didn't read those two sentences without thinking either "weeaboo" or "idiot". Now tell me you didn't read the first chapter of Fan Fix-tion Riff-view without thinking those. And possibly "unfunny" or "hypocrisy". My eyes nearly vomited out human excrement when reading it (nearly because the joke about pyjama fetishes was a valid point, although it still wasn't funny). It felt like two hee-larious self-styled "nutters" had written a blog. Ooh, look, I'm mad, me? Aren't I? Tell me I am or I'll pine away and die like a poisoned rat! The level of terrible writing verges on parody, so much so it feels like a bad episode (read: all episodes) of Nostalgia Critic combined with the memoirs of a rich young businessman. The point I'm trying to make is that if these "Riff-views" are written in such a way that you are meant to hate the reviewer, then it's certainly written well, right down to the title. "Riff-view" is the perfect example of an unfunny pun - it's too clever and out of the ordinary to be funny for corny reasons, yet it's not clever enough to be funny for being funny, if you catch my drift. The whole of it seems gleefully forced, like someone decided to threaten a mental patient at gunpoint to start a blog. It's absolutely rage-inducing to watch the two reviewers laugh at each other's jokes, like they are somehow funny. I suppose weeaboos would get a sick kick out of it, but everyone else would start to heave if forced to read it. It was probably used as a method of torture at Guantanamo. As we are discussing Hayate Ayasaki, we go on to Naruto: Legend of the Kyubi Shards. Our Dear Writer says that "these are all original characters". If so, then why is it called "Naruto: Legend of the Kaiba Bards" (I forget, my short term memory is terrible)? At first glance, it seems confusing - it's full of unfamiliar language to those who haven't read or watched Naruto before. When you actually get into it, it's as warped and difficult to understand as the last two episodes of Lost watched through the eyes of a mentally damaged Bosnian mercenary being force-fed enough LSD to tranquillize a horse. If it's full of original characters, then it is a new story, and therefore should be easy to pick up. The Silmarrillion is readable without prior knowledge of The Hobbit, so why is this so confusing? If you are writing a piece of fan-fiction that might be read by people unfamiliar with the series you are basing it off then it would do you some good to explain things bit, amirite? Otherwise it's just the Bosnian Mercenary treatment for the rest of us. I actually spoke to a certain person who works for Riff-view (God that's still terrible) and they were considerate, articulate and attentive. It made me feel like a right bastard. [spoiler=15.3.11]Not many people start columns off by inciting riots, and this writer is no exception. Hi. I'm Alfred. I apologize for my brief Hiatu$. That awful joke is of course a reference to The Legend of $teve, a work of fiction that is an utter waste of a $ sign that could be put to good use elsewhere, like on a robber's bag or Sheikh Mansour's glans. It would feel as if it was written by a psychopathic robot if it wasn't for the appalling grammar. I'd rather watch a baby put to death by firing squad than read another work of that calibre (and the reaction generated from said piece of fiction was not laughter, which is what I would greet a dead baby with anyway). It seems like a sick joke or a taster paragraph of robot erotica. This is of course without addressing any of the writing memes featured in said work - the main character is the son of Jaden Yuki (who I could barely remember existed if it wasn't for the fact his hair resembles a furby caught in a tornado). That is suicide in the Fan-Fic section. The character couldn't be more hate-able. The character could be the Champion of a Neo-Nazi movement that uses kittens as sacrifices and he would be more likeable. We're pre-disposed to hate people who are famous only for being related to famous people. They are oxygen-thieves, they are gurgling poltroons. Nothing sets off my chuckle cells more than watching a celebrity die. 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A20thCenturyBoy Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Dear Mikhail Tal, Thank/Damn you for your insightful/flaming pile of crap you call a column on Fan Fix-tion Riffview. We appreciate/despise your telling us of your precise grievances/jabroniing, and will aim to improve our writing/continue making pieces of art in order to make the series enjoyable and entertaining for our readers. If you find any more problems with Riffview, please feel free to tell us/shut your god damn face. We truly hope that, given time, your opinion about us will change/you'll get banned and never return to this site again. Once more, thank/damn you for your opinions/whining. Be sure to stay tuned for future riffviews/I'M COMING FOR YOU, YOU BASTARD. Sincerely/Spitefully yours, The Crew at Fan Fix-tion Riffview. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted March 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Dear Mikhail Tal, Thank/Damn you for your insightful/flaming pile of crap you call a column on Fan Fix-tion Riffview. We appreciate/despise your telling us of your precise grievances/jabroniing, and will aim to improve our writing/continue making pieces of art in order to make the series enjoyable and entertaining for our readers. If you find any more problems with Riffview, please feel free to tell us/shut your god damn face. We truly hope that, given time, your opinion about us will change/you'll get banned and never return to this site again. Once more, thank/damn you for your opinions/whining. Be sure to stay tuned for future riffviews/I'M COMING FOR YOU, YOU BASTARD. Sincerely/Spitefully yours, The Crew at Fan Fix-tion Riffview. This reminds me of the time I called the Conservative kid at school an idiot. He punched me in the face and insulted me for "being a fag". But anyway, your high-larious little ditty was one of the most brilliant examples of hypocrisy I've ever seen. Congratulations, good show. You just did what I did but with really bad sarcasm and a terrible comedic layout. I'm sure your mother would be proud to have such a wonderful little comedian running around the house. She probably lets you on the computer to stop you scaring small animals with badly spoken Japanese. I imagine you sounding like an alien with it's testicles in a meat grinder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PikaPerson01 Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Meh. As much as I agree (and I do agree), I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't dedicate a whole 'nother topic to telling someone how much they suck. As in, keep it in their original topic. Granted, it'd be greatly unlikely to be seen, and more likely to be buried under a sea "ZOMG! I LUV IT!" by YCM-ers unfamiliar with having a fanfic but... eh, what can' you do? You seem like a clever enough kid though. Why not show 'em how it's done? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A20thCenturyBoy Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Eh. He's got his opinion, let him have it. I just reread the TF2 "You're a Dead Man" form letter and figured, why not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PikaPerson01 Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Eh. He's got his opinion, let him have it.I didn't say he couldn't. I just said... not to make a topic about it. Spam and such. But I'm not the mod of Fanfics so I don't give a damn. =3 I just reread the TF2 "You're a Dead Man" form letter and figured, why not.Bastards never sent me my Force-A-Nature. All I got was a scout keychain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Meh. As much as I agree (and I do agree), I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't dedicate a whole 'nother topic to telling someone how much they suck. As in, keep it in their original topic. Granted, it'd be greatly unlikely to be seen, and more likely to be buried under a sea "ZOMG! I LUV IT!" by YCM-ers unfamiliar with having a fanfic but... eh, what can' you do? You seem like a clever enough kid though. Why not show 'em how it's done? This isn't going to be the only column and it isn't going to only focus on the same thing. Every column will focus on two things (linked in some way, like Riffview [ugh] and Kyubi SARS). Also, I never have the dedication to write long-winded fanfics, but I am writing a Sherlock Holmes story at the moment (will be done by Thursday) so I might post that. Anyhow, another column will be up later tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 You seem like a clever enough kid though. Why not show 'em how it's done? Pretty much this. As much as I also agree with this thread, it feels like there's been so much of them that it's lost it's certain charm. :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 *Reads* *Prepares to raeg* *Reconsiders* *Thinks* So now I'm disagreeing with everything and everyone for the lulz. *Reads* *Thinks* *Draws conclusion* *:)* EDIT: For that, I think you deserve 1 +rep, and 1 neg. Since I can't do that, I'll just not doing anything. Obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 There is a point where something crosses the line from "critical" to "pointless flaming." You seem well aware of this, as you have crossed this line twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted March 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Updated, new one is worse than the first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 You've interested me enough so that I'm going to read The Legend of $teve Ca$h Money$ Dollar $ign$. Also, I believe making your character related to Jaden Yuki/actually be Jaden just with a different name actually ensures you several pages of comments detailing how "refreshing" and "original" the story is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted March 16, 2011 Report Share Posted March 16, 2011 There's a line between doing fic reviews tastefully and making an arse out of yourself. You, my friend, cannot see that line. (And are therefore blind. CWATIDIDTHAR?) LOCKED. Be a bit more... discrete next time. PM me to rage if need be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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