New Moon

[Makο]

Hey. I have a story for you guys to read. It's not much, but I plan on having it go for awhile.


NOTES:

- While I have no actual plot summary in an official manner, I do have a quick one I gave to Wynn.
[spoiler=Plot Summary][quote name='Mako109' timestamp='1297662635']
Anyway, the story focuses on the adventures of PVT. Holt Novara, a young soldier at an outpost belonging to a small faction in the broken up USA. During this time, about 2117, the world has been plunged into chaos after WWIII, a nuclear holocaust. But, strangely, the wasteland once known as Earth was not plunged into its current state because of the nukes themselves.It was caused when a super nuke was reverted towards the moon, causing it to explode. That is why I called this RP "New Moon." This, as you can tell, caused the world to go out of whack. But that's not the half of it. When chunks of the moon came falling towards Earth, it wiped 1/6 of the Earths population out. But, it did one other thing. It also unleashed massive amounts of, you guessed it, Helium-6, a highly potent energy source. Also, the moons core was sent spiraling towards New York, destroying it. But, as it turns out, the moons core was Pure Ariadite, a newly discovered metal. It is super light, extremely strong, and can take the beating of a life time. Seeing the possibilities behind this new source and metal, people began to fight over it. With small chunks of Ariadite and H6 scattered all over the place, people began to construct war machines to help them in combat. The results were Monarchs. These giant, Bipedal Mechs are made Ariadite in almost every part, and are powered by H6. They typically have no actual limbs (in the arm sockets), with weapons in their place, the weapons ranging from artillery pieces to machine guns to missile launchers. They move along slowly but surely, averaging 30 miles per hour due to their giant steps. They can easily be 4 Stories tall, some higher, some lower. For more info, just watch videos about the game Chrome Hounds. Just think of them. Anyway, Holt soon becomes a cadet for piloting Monarchs, and begins the long, painful, yet entertaining process to becoming a Full Fledged Monarch Pilot. But something evil lurks in the shadows of these new materials, something more dangerous than anyone would ever imagine...[/quote]

[/spoiler]

- I know, the story is called New Moon. But there is no relation to Twilight or anything else.

- I have the right to stop this story or procrastinate at any time I see fit.

- I don't name my chapters. Too bad.

-Chapter 4 added

-Any mistakes in Grammar or plot that you find you be great to point out.

I'll add more notes as I go.


Well, I don't see anything else I need to add. I'll hopefully be going in Weekly chapters or segments. Anyway, enjoy.

[spoiler=Chapter 1]Date / / / Confirmed. Reading - - - - 2117, A.D.
Location / / / Determined. Grid Coordinates - - - - 134/5592
Current Objective / / / Classified. Shut down initiated.





The horizon began to blow up with a dust storm, enveloping anything in its path. PVT. Holt Novara put down his binoculars with a huff. He looked around at the area around him. A few men patrolled the walls, looking just about as thrilled as Holt was. A large pedestal laid flat on the wall, with a small control panel next to it. The area within the outpost was nothing but dirt and a large, solid bio-dome in the middle. He looked back out at his surroundings. Still, nothing. He peered over at his commanding officer. He was looking out at the horizon intently, as if expecting something to peer out from it. Holt cleared his throat and looked at him.
“Hey, Sarge. You ever wonder why we’re here?”
The sergeant didn’t avert his gaze from the dirt plain.
“Well, it’s one of life’s greatest mysteries. Were we the result of some freak event? Were we constructed by a larger caste of creatures? Is there really a God?” He replied.
Holt blinked twice before responding.
“…What? No, not like that. I mean why are we at this outpost?”
The officer peered over at him.
“Oh…we are here to defend this outpost from potential threats. For within the dome is a large deposit of Helium-6, the largest in this area. Command gave us this order personally. If we can harness this H6, he is confident that we will be able to grow into the largest, most powerful faction in this area. With the H6, we will also be able to purchase some…larger…weapons.”
He reverted his gaze to the horizon. Holt stared into the sky, mind full of wonder as to what they will be able to purchase with the resources. He imagined a giant tank, rumbling around the plains, with giant missile launchers and enormous cannons. He watched his imaginary tank as it rolled over an enemy strike force, watching them beg for mercy at its incredible power. He shook his fists in the air, mouthing the words “That’s right, beg you mongrels!” He became power hungry over the very thought of anything larger than an ISS-Turret (Industrial Steel Shredder).

Holt continued on with his fantasies, receiving strange glances from nearby soldiers. His daydreaming was soon interrupted, rudely. He could hear a light wooshing sound. It was growing, growing, soon becoming the most obvious noise in the area. Other soldiers looked around, puzzled. Suddenly, an RPG flew straight into the outpost’s wall. A hunk of the wall came tumbling down, taking a soldier with it. The unnamed man grabbed onto the edge of the wall, desperately. Holt snapped himself out of his thoughts and rushed over the soldier’s aid, pulling him up from the edge. Holt lifted his binoculars back up and scanned the horizon. The trooper that he saved looked at him.
“Do you see anyone?”
Holt focused on a group of movement.
“Ok…I can see one…no, make that two. Three…ten. I see ten. Wait, thirty, forty, APCs, jeeps…”
He yelled to his sergeant.
“I see a whole bloody battalion out there!”
“Then grab your weapons, soldiers. We are on the defensive.” The sergeant said with a cold tone.
The other soldiers in the outpost began to panic. They had never fought an enemy force of such size and proportions. They scurried around the base, yelling different commands to an imaginary fighting force.
“Quick! Grab the RPGs! Aim for the treads!”
“Keep yourself steady. They can’t fight to well, can they?”
“Someone arm the LMG! Take out their infantry!”
“Does anyone else smell that burning? We might have a fire down here!”
Holt’s commanding officer went up to him.
“Look again. Tell me what you see.”
He peered back into the binoculars.
“I see roughly 64 Infantry, 3 APCs, 4 Jeeps, armed with LMGs and Javelin Rockets.”
“What flag are they under?” The sergeant asked.
“I see no visible flag, sir. Just troops.” Holt responded.
“Than they are just pirates, a work force for hire looking to make a quick buck. Most don’t even have proper combat training.”
The officer raised his voice, to make sure that the others could hear him.
“Are we going to let a few pirates crush our moral? Are we gonna let them waltz in and steal what is rightfully ours? Are we gonna beg at their feet, asking for mercy? I should think not. Lets let these bastards know just who they are dealing with!”
“Oohra!” Several voices yelled at once.
The sergeant began commanding the troops to their respective locations, telling them to dig in. The sergeant himself grabbed a SIAR (Standard Issue Assault Rifle) and took cover behind a wall. There was a moment of silence right before the battle. The calm before the storm.
[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Chapter 2]Date / / / Confirmed. Reading - - - - 2117, A.D.
Location / / / Determined. Grid Coordinates - - - - 134/5592
Current Objective / / / WARNING. BASE UNDER ATTACK



This silence came to an abrupt end. A barrage of gunfire came pouring in on the wall, most harmlessly bouncing off with some penetrating. The jeeps locked down their braces, keeping them secured in the ground. They fired their Javelin missiles straight at four support struts. Three out of the four were hit, causing a catwalk to collapse, and sending three men to their demise. The sergeant fired his SIAR blindly from behind the wall, actually hitting two of the enemy infantry. They dropped down, one dead, and with the other screaming in agony. His nearby comrades blatantly ignored his cries for medical help, and bled out. A few more infantry began to fire RPGs towards the wall, causing its structural integrity to drop further. The sergeant was in the middle of reloading his SIAR. He formed a blank look with his face. The sergeant yelled towards the nearest soldier.
“LT., get on the ISS-Turret! Teach these imbeciles a lesson!”
The trooper sprinted over to a nearby control panel, and typed in a few digits. The entire platform that was near it lifted into the air, revealing the Turret. He hopped on, and activated its mechanism. Soon enough, the enemy soldiers were dropping in number fast, as the ISS ripped through their ranks. The four jeeps that the pirates brought along were smoked, and the APCs were taking heavy damage. Eventually, the enemy force began their retreat, leaving behind their weapons, ammo, armor, anything to help them run faster. A roaring cheer rung out from the Outpost. The soldiers stationed were raising their weapons in the air, victoriously, yelling “Oohra!” every now and then. The turret pilot peered out.
“Yea! Woohoo! That’ll teach them to mess with u-“
A streak of light shot out from the distance, which obliterated the turret. Shaken, Holt stumbled around, and heard the panicked cries of the soldiers. Amidst the yelling, he heard the horrifying word that sent a chill down his spine.

“Monarch!”




In the distance, a large, bipedal Mech came tromping into the battle. Its shoulder-mounted Artillery piece fired a barrage of heavy shells towards the outpost wall, causing the wall to crumble. Soon enough, an entire portion of the wall collapsed under the pressure of gunfire. Troops began to scramble around in a mad panic. The barrage wouldn’t let up, as it came closer towards the base. The sergeant picked up a pair of binoculars and looked towards the Monarch. He could see the enemy soldiers begin to come back to the lines, recovering lost weapons and armor. The sergeant picked up a radio and yelled something into it. Holt wasn’t able to hear what it was, due to the uproar of the nearby soldiers. He grabbed a bullhorn off of his belt. He yelled into it.
“Calm down, men! Hold yourself steady. If we have any chance of defending this station, we must make an organized effort! LT., grab the RPG! Corporal, man the LMG Nest! PVT. Holt, ta-“
The sergeant soon ceased to exist, enveloped by an Artillery shell. The soldiers he managed to order obeyed his orders, but everyone else was still panicked. Soon enough, the enemy troops were pouring through the gap in the wall. A few of the soldiers were fighting back, but most were just falling back. The Monarch had made significant progress towards the base, providing fire support for its troops. Holt stood low, keeping his head down on a catwalk. He watched as the massive Mech walked through the gap in the wall, at a medium pace. Holt’s spirits were at the lowest they could be. No hope to survive. No hope to prosper.


Holt quickly noticed a noise. Not similar to the RPGs noise. Something totally different. Something airborne. He looked into the sky, and was awestruck at what he saw. A massive Wing aircraft came flying overhead. It was more than two times the size of the outpost. A loud uncoupling noise was heard as it flew away. From where it was, a large object came down and impacted the bases interior field. The enemy troops in the base stumbled backwards, staring at the massive dust cloud. They began to move back slowly, eventually turning into a full-blown retreat. The enemy Monarch watched as its allies retreated, and paid its attention back to the cloud. It fired its Artillery cannon at the cloud, following up by Machine Gun fire. A shot rang out, coming from the dust cloud. The enemy Monarch stood, motionless. Suddenly, it collapsed, hitting the ground with a sizable impact. The dust cleared. In its place stood a large, advanced Monarch, none of which Holt had ever seen before. It turned on its speakers.
“You boys really ought to keep your base better defended.” A male voice said.
The Monarch turned away and began to give chase to the retreating enemy troops.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Chapter 3]Date / / / Confirmed. Reading - - - - 2117, A.D.
Location / / / Determined. Grid Coordinates - - - - 136/5602
Current Objective / / / Unknown. Briefing in progress.




Holt pushed aside 4 large, plastic flaps that covered the entryway into the briefing room. The room contained a large wall map, a ceiling fan, and a table with several assorted objects on it, ranging from Monarch Miniatures to coffee mugs. Standing around the table was a few soldiers, Charles, the advisor, and the Commander James Lock. At the sight of the commander, Holt snapped into a salute. James gave him a sad smile.
“At ease, soldier.” He said with a tired voice. He placed his hands on the table.
“Why have you called me here?” Holt inquired.
James lifted his hands back up, and walked over to the wall map. He placed his hands over the map, over several faction nations within the old US borders. First the Mid-Plain Republic. Then New Hollywood. He moved his hand over the Florida Crater. Then to the Old York Congress. He sighed.
“Oh, how I miss the days before the USA split up. We were a strong nation, backed by strong morals. Despite any and all hardships, we stood our ground. We backed each other. Sure, there was racial discrimination, crime, and corruption.”
He turned back to Holt, with a fire in his eyes.
“But can you name one old nation that didn’t have those things? We weren’t the best nation, or the strongest. But we lasted that long without breaking.”
James looked down.
“But it just wasn’t to be. One thing after another. Greed became our greatest foe, and it was strong enough to separate us. Some could blame WWIII for it. Some could blame the destruction of the moon for it. No, we don’t know the origin of the Nuke, and we haven’t the time or resources to find out. But if we did…we might be able to just…”
He cut himself off. He realized how long he was rambling on. Chuckling, the put his hand on Holts shoulders.
“There are something’s you wouldn’t understand. I’ve been around long enough to know what the USA was like back in the day. Now, only if you were there, than maybe…just maybe…you’d understand.”
Holt gulped. He still didn’t know where this was going.
“Um…sir? Is there some reason behind this meeting?”
James stared off behind Holt. A few seconds later, he blinked quickly before moving away from Holt and grabbing a sheet of paper on the table. He handed it to Holt.
“Collect these men from throughout the outpost, and meet me in the training yard. I need to discuss something with all of them, including you, Private.”
Holt grabbed the paper and saluted the Commander, before heading out the Briefing room’s door.
[i]I wonder what he has in store for us…[/i]




Holt collected all but one of the men he had been asked to. He told each of them to move to the training yard and stay there. Afterward, he checked the list he was given.
“Alright. The last person I need to get is… a certain Wally Nobarak. Ok.”
Holt began to scan the room he was in, determining that it was clear of people. No one to be seen. He moved on to the next barracks.
“Nope.”
He moved to the armory.
“Just the weapons master, but not the man I am looking for.”
He slipped into the Mess Hall. He saw the Cooks assistant, peeling some potatoes. He strolled up to him, grabbing an apple along the way.
“Hey, kid. Do you know where a man named Wally is?” He asked, biting into the apple.
The assistant looked up. He turned away, putting his hand to his chin. He quickly looked back.
“Wally? You mean Wally Nobarak? Yea, I remember about him. A few men were talking about him. Apparently, he got pretty hurt in the pirate attack. He should be in the Infirmary.”
Holt stopped eating his apple. He stared straight off behind the assistant.
[i]The Infirmary? Where they…tend to wounds?[/i]
Unbeknownst to most, Holt has a phobia of blood and other wounds. How he wound up in the army is beyond him. He shook his head and looked back down at the assistant.
“How long do you think he’s been in there?” He asked.
“I reckon he’s been in there a few hours. He probably went in right after the attack. Why do you ask?” The kid questioned.
“I- It’s nothing. Thanks for the help.” Holt said quickly, moving away from him.
He left the Mess Hall, taking an immediate right straight towards the Infirmary. He gulped.
[i]Ok…he’s been in there for a while. He should have his wounds tended to and covered. Yes…ok.[/i]
He walked up to the door to the building, slowly opening twisting the handle. He walked in, only to find two long, steel hallways, with blood splattered on the ground in both directions. He winced. Quickly strolling down the hallways, he turned to the nearest door. Silently, he placed his ear up against the door, and stayed silent. He heard a slight noise at first, which got louder, and louder. Eventually, he could tell the noise was a chainsaw. A chainsaw. In the Infirmary. He kept listening. Holt could hear a demonic laughter, and the panicked pleading of a man.
“Please, no! Don’t do it! Please I beg of you! For the love of God, don’t!” The voice yelled.
The laughter continued to get louder, becoming more menacing. Holt’s eyes were wide with fear.
[i]What the hell? What kind of hospital is this?[/i]
He turned his attention back to behind the door. The chainsaw was now in full motion, revving loudly. The man’s pleas became frantic.
“Please, God, no! Don’t I- AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!”
The man’s piercing screams pounded on Holt’s head. He could hear the chainsaw ripping through flesh and bone, splattering gore all over. Holt panicked. Quickly, without thinking, he un-holstered his pistol, and with his shoulders, pounded the door open, intent on stopping whatever was happening in there. Through his Iron Sights, he looked around the room. In there was a man sitting up on the bed. He was staring intently at a TV in the room. The man turned his head at Holt, flashing a smile.
“Hello there. How are you?” He said.
Holt stared back at him, then back to the TV. He quickly turned away, repulsed by the on-screen bloodshed. Holt walked over to the man in bed.
“Are you Wally Nobarak? Injured in the attack?” Holt asked.
“Yea, I am. And you are?” He replied.
Wally turned to Holt. He stared at him for a second. His eyes widened, quick. He jumped up to his feet, and saluted Holt. He grabbed his stomach and winced, but he stayed focused.
“Um…what are you doing?” Holt questioned.
“You. You are the guy that saved me from the fall on the wall! I am in your debt.”
Holt stared at Wally’s face for a second. He remembered. The wall section collapse. Holt rubbed the back of his head.
“Aw, it was nothing. I did what any other soldier would have done.”
“Cut it out with the modest crap. It gets old quick. Try being prideful of what you did! You will get a lot more use out of it then.”
“How is that so?” Holt questioned.
Wally put his hand to his chin. He looked back.
“Because shut up. Shh! My show is back!” He put his hand up to Holt’s face.
The TV faded in, showing a woman wondering through the woods. She was quickly ambushed by a horrifying…thing…and quickly ripped to shreds in mindless bloodshed, with terrible screams. Holt grabbed his stomach and curled over. He grabbed a nearby bucket and throw up violently. Wally gave him a disapproving stare.
“Shame. This is the best type of movie. You just have a weak stomach.”
“Shut up.” Holt retorted, “Now. Onto business. You have been called for by the Commander. We had better move out fast if we are to make it in time.”
“Alrighty.” Wally walked over to a nearby dresser and quickly put on some pants and a shirt. He clicked off the TV and strolled over to the door. He looked back at Holt.
“Well? You coming or what?”
Holt stared at him.
“I didn’t even know you weren’t wearing pants!”
“Meh. I where long underwear. What am I gonna do?”
They began to trek down the hall. Wally looked to Holt.
“I never caught your name. What is it?”
“Holt. Holt Novara.” He replied, giving Wally a firm handshake.
“Holt? That’s funny. I had an uncle named Holt!” Wally said, laughing.
“I’m sure I wanted to know that.” Holt responded with a chuckle.
They left the Infirmary, headed to the Training Yard.
[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Chapter 4]Date / / / Confirmed. Reading - - - - 2117, A.D.
Location / / / Determined. Grid Coordinates - - - - 137/5602
Current Objective / / / Debriefing of days events. Tuning in…



James Lock stepped onto the pedestal with Charles at his side. Charles whispered something into James’s ear, before stepping down. James looked out at the 20 strong soldiers standing formally. A few of them murmured to each other, but otherwise silence. James scanned the soldiers, and cleared his throat.
“Thank you for attending this meeting, men. I’m sure you all wanted to rest a bit after the attack, but this is of utmost importance. As you all are aware, the local Pirate force is gaining strength, in both men and technology. This was the largest enemy strike force we have seen in this area! And a Monarch! Where they got this piece of technology, I know not. But it doesn’t matter. For now, we must look to the future. We must move along with the world. We need our own Monarchs.”



This statement caused several of the soldiers to speak to each other, before being hushed by Charles. James scanned the group, making sure no one else was talking. He went on.
“Now, hardware and fund wise, there is no way we would be able to create our own Monarchs. This dilemma has been hovering over me for months, but now it has become all too obvious. But, fortunately, this latest attack provided us with something we didn’t have before. A Monarch frame. As you know, the only reason we were able to survive was due to the Monarch that dropped down from the Wing-Craft. That was a free-lancing mercenary we hired a few weeks back. He was gracious enough to use a CPR(Cockpit Piercing Round) on the enemy Monarch, leaving the frame intact. He has moved out, though, leaving us to ourselves.”
He stepped down from the pedestal and strolled over to Wally. He stopped in front of him, and stared at him dead in the eyes.
“The purpose of this meeting is to find the most suitable Monarch pilot. I will let Charles fill you in on the details.”



Charles practically skipped up onto the pedestal, as James left the field. He tapped the mike.
“Is this thing on?”
A soldier in the group spoke up.
“Sir, we haven’t been using the mike this entire time. This little group James has gathered isn’t large enough to need the mike, unlike when our entire force is here.”
“I knew that, of course.” Replied Charles, shooting the soldier a look.
He looked back at everyone else.
“Now, all the vital components of the Monarch are still in the thing, which we have dubbed “Badland”, including weapons, power cuplinks, and H6 energy. However, the CPR totally trashed the interior, leaving it to us to have to order a new cockpit. It will take a good 2 months for the piece to arrive, and hopefully, by then, we will have at least well trained Monarch pilot. And it will be one of you.”
He scanned the group, making sure they were paying attention.
“As I am sure you are all well aware, once every month, we make you men take a performance level test. During this months test, we added a new segment. A Monarch Compatibility test. It was well disguised, leaving no impression that we would be getting any Monarchs or training pilots. We needed to keep this secret, for if we had told anyone earlier, your performance in other vital sections in the test might have dropped. Now, based on that test, we have determined that you men are the most likely candidates for piloting.”
He stared directly at Holt.
“While some performances were better than…others…we will be giving you all a far and equal chance at this. Let us hope that you all don’t just flunk.”
[i]Why do I have a bad feeling about this?[/i] pondered Holt.
[/spoiler]

[Rook Bishop]

It interesting to say the least. I haven't seen no one make one like this.

[Makο]

Grammar aren't be existent.



Jk.



Thanks for the comment. It's better than nothing.

[RaltZ]

That video made me LOL so hard

[Makο]

Hey man. Yeah, it's pretty funny. But leave that sort of talk for my comments page on my profile.


I may have to explain this to you. That video is in my sig. A sig is attached to every post I make on the forum, so it will always be there. In other words, don't comment about my sig on a thread, and stay on topic, ok? ^^



What do you think of the story?

[RaltZ]

I really like the story Mako109. Definately keep it up.

[Makο]

Thanks. And you can just call me Mako here, or Chris if it's preferred. It doesn't matter.

[Raine]

I do have a few things to say about your "New Moon". First the bad news, I'm not sure how blatantly to you did the RvB joke at the beginning but I guess that's relevantly unimportant. The actual plot is a post-apocalyptic mecha story or as far as I can see from your intro to this, unoriginal but it has potential if you sculpt it right. As far as I can see at this point your main Holt needs character development of some kind soon. Don't be afraid to have this Holt not be a complete bad ass, take NGE for example they are an amazing anime because how they made there characters... well, human. I don't need to you to go that far but it would be nice to see that this guy has problems, weaknesses, and can make mistakes. I think that is a major concern I find in almost every writing. Just some food for thought for the future.

I give this (so far) 2.5 ★ out of 5.

P.S. Helium-6 is near impossible to exist for more than 2 seconds until it dissolves. Helium-3 is extremely rare. And Helium-4 can only be made in labs. (<- don't listen to this part)

[Makο]

Thank you for taking the time to read it. I might be putting up another chapter soon, but I guess I probably should find a way to include some character development. Thank you for putting this issue in my mind, so that I may deal with it accordingly.

[Makο]

Bump.

[Makο]

BumpbumpbumpBUMPbump bumpbumpbumpBUMPbump



New chapter added.

[Makο]

Bump.

[Makο]

Bump. New Chapter added.

[Makο]

State the action of moving a thread higher up on the thread list.

[Makο]

Bump.

[Makο]

Bump.

[Makο]

Why you no comment, YCM? :'(


Blump.

[Makο]

Bump.

[Makο]

Bump. :/

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Okay, to be honest I've never read through all of a fan fic here this long since it was usually tedious.

Now? With this? Oh hell this is so awesome I actually read all of Chapter 1 and 2.

[Makο]

Thanks. Your feedback is appreciated. Is there anything you see that needs improvement?

[Makο]

Bump. Added a new chapter last night.

[Makο]

Bump.

[Makο]

Bump.

[Makο]

YCM crashed like a ton of bricks. Bump.