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Umbra's Fanfic Contest - Character and Card (Finished)


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Judging on zeid's submission

 

Character: Rayous Valiant

 

Interest: There's something special about Rayous. The biography works well with the story I've thought of, but there's something in there that just doesn't really work. The biography turns Rayous into a very unique person, since as in Chapter XII (which was posted after your submission, but there's nothing we can do about that) Rodriguez states that “the Dreadroot's heirs can be counted on one hand” meaning they're less than five. But still, there's something I like.

Rating: 8 points.

 

Duel Possibility: As you have posted the entire deck, (thank you for that) this shouldn't be too hard to judge. It looks quite useful, and as you said, Rayous can alter his deck.

Rating: 10 points.

 

Originality: The decktype, slimes, is nothing I'd heard of. (Neither had I expected to actually see Physical Double in a deck, but I suppose it has a reason) Reflector Knight, if it's like the Avatar card, seems just to be a general piss-off. Over all, I liked it.

Rating: 6 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

Well-written: *1,4

 

Character Score: 24 * 1,4 = 33 points.

 

Card: Rayous the Reflector Knight

 

OCG: Flawless, but short.

Rating: 9 points.

 

Picture: First I'd like to say that the cards themselves look absolutely stunning. Now, onto the picture. Nothing wrong here, really. Although the monster doesn't exactly say “LIGHT”. More like, DARK or perhaps EARTH. Also, it would have worked better with the effect if the image was upside down. Just saying.

Rating: 8 points.

 

Balance: 4/1550/1550, a very rare combination, and among the most annoying to keep in calculation. (The top one is Castle of Dark Illusions, with a DEF of 1930) It works good, but feels somewhat weak for an effect that's supposed to keep on the field. (More of that in the Effect rating)

Rating: 6 points.

 

Effect: The effect's a real piss-off, but for both players. But as it's a rather weak monster, you can't expect it to be a long piss-off. It's probably going to get destroyed sooner or later, most likely in just a few turns.

Rating: 6 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

Perfect OCG: *1,2

 

Card Score: 29 * 1,2 = 34 points.

 

Final Score: (33 + 34) = 67 points. Modifier Score: +2

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Character:

Reina Holland (Kei-Kun)

 

Interest: Suppressed by her parents, hating her life. Assaulted by mysterious people, meeting up with Vergüenza. Looks good. She seems like the type of character plots could twist around. And as she's only one year younger than Jonah...

Rating: 8 points.

 

Duel Possibility: The cards I have seen work great together. A Spellcaster-theme along with various Attributes work fine.

Rating: 7 points.

 

Originality: Spellcasters are perhaps not the most common decktype, but it isn't exactly rare either. The Sealed Magick improves this a lot.

Rating: 8 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

Well-Written: *1,4

 

Character Score: 23 points * 1,4 = 32 points.

 

Card: Arcane of the Tormentor - Riori

 

OCG: Few errors. (The effect should be altering the original ATK/DEF, not the ATK/DEF.)

Rating: 9 points.

 

Picture: As I'm not entirely sure of what an “Arcane” is, I can't entirely judge this score. (If this card becomes the one that enters the fan-fic, the name will be changed to Arcanist of the Tormentor - Riori) Still, from what we know, the image fits.

Rating: 8 points.

 

Balance: Ain't much good here. From what I have seen of the Sealed Magick deck, you could easily get a large bunch of Spells in the Graveyard, making this card go haywire. A Level increase, perhaps to 4.

Rating: 4 points.

 

Effect: With only two Spell Cards in the Graveyard, this card's ATK/DEF would be 600, making it the highest for any Level 1. And, if this card is equipped with two Book of Secret Arts, it's ATK/DEF would be 1200. What I'm saying is that it can easily be too powerful.

Rating: 5 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

None.

 

Card Score: 26 points.

 

Final Score: 32 + 26 = 58 points.

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Oh... well I'll try to get mine up in the limit, but if you have to end this contest, feel free to do so and take my old character into account. I don't have as much time as I originally thought.

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@Ixigo: Ok.

 

 

Character: Sieg Grandeval (BlueKyubbi)

 

Interest: Your effort pays of well, Kyubbi. I know I'm slow at rating, but I'll try to get the last ones in quick. Sieg would indeed be a very interesting addition to the Dreadroot's agents, especially with his dark past. Jackpot!

Rating: 10 points.

 

Duel Possibility: The Forgotten Soldiers, a DARK Warrior-type deck, along with (of course) the special mechanics that usually follow a set. Much support.

Rating: 8 points.

 

Originality: As said above, it's a DARK Warrior-type deck. I'm quite sure some of the other entries here are DARK Warrior-type decks. But the Forgotten Soldiers add a twist.

Rating: 7 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

Well-Written: *1,4

 

Character Score: 25 * 1,4 = 35 points

 

Card: Forgotten Soldier - General Yamatoshi

 

OCG: Only a few errors. (Counters are not Tributed, they're simply removed)

Rating: 8 points.

 

Picture: It seems to be a little too futuristic for a WW2 veteran. But I don't really know about this one.

Rating: 7 points.

 

Balance: 7/2300/2100, works rather ok. If you see just to the Level/ATK/DEF, it would be weak. But with the effect, (blocking the summon unless three of your “Forgotten Soldiers” have been destroyed) it works good.

Rating: 7 points.

 

Effect: The effect was original, I can say that. It can destroy itself to summon other monsters, which fits surprisingly well into the theme.

Rating: 9 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

None.

 

Card Score: 31 points.

 

 

Final Score: 35 + 31 = 66 points.

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Yay' date=' second!

What was that about being knocked off the prize list?

:)

[/quote']

 

Never said it would be forever. :D

 

 

 

 

Character: Adrian Omaro (Jack Witt)

 

Interest: Well, the lack of interest from your side (Appearance: I dont care this is your choice, but he wheres a vest ) doesn't really get me interested. Still, the biography has everything a character needs, a story, an explanation, and a motive. You still use pop-culture cards, but at least they're better this time.

Rating: 6 points.

 

Duel Possibility: The “sand” cards look quite useful. Rebirth of the Sand is quite versatile, as it can also summon “Sand Gambler”.

Rating: 7 points.

 

Originality: The Sand cards are EARTH, and mostly Warrior-type. Which means, quite well-used. The Sand cards themselves are just functional, not that unique.

Rating: 4 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

None.

 

Character Score: 17 points.

 

Card:

 

OCG: No flaws, but as it is very short, it isn't that hard to make it flawless.

Rating: 8 points.

 

Picture: No picture.

Rating: 1 point.

 

Balance: 4/0/0, should be 1/0/0, even with the effect.

Rating: 5 points.

 

Effect: Gaara's effect is quite worthless on it's own, but I can see what you intend with the Equip Cards later on. Just two cards can make Gaara practically invincible. (Not saying that you can't destroy the equip cards)

Rating: 6 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

None.

 

Card Score: 20 points.

 

 

Final Score: 17 + 20 = 37 points.

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Character: Nemrit (barbarius)

 

Interest: Nemrit seems like a quite extreme character. Burned off half his head, and still alive? No. The rest of the story is quite ok.

Rating: 4 points.

 

Duel Possibility: Once again, a DARK Warrior deck. Lot of support.

Rating: 6 points.

 

Originality: The “Injured Warriors” seem quite ok. But again, a DARK Warrior deck.

Rating: 4 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

None.

 

Character Score: 14 points.

 

Card:

 

OCG: Lots of issues. Not good.

Rating: 1 point.

 

Picture: Picture fits great into the theme.

Rating: 8 points.

 

Balance: 8/2500/2500. Works quite good.

Rating: 5 points.

 

Effect: A summoning requirement, which is good, and a defending effect. Fits great into the theme, and is quite balanced, as it doesn't block itself.

Rating: 7 points.

 

Modifiers fulfilled:

None.

 

Card Score: 21 points.

 

 

Final Score: 15 + 21 = 36 points.

 

 

That was it, folks! The Umbra Fan-Fic Contest closes down for now. Congratulations to zeid, BlueKyubbi, and vulture! Prices will be handed out as soon as possible.

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