Azphreal Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Alright, let’s try this. Haven’t written a fanfic in a while, and never a YuGiOh one, so I’m new to this. Uses self- (and/or other-people-) made cards. [spoiler=Backstory]Think New Domino. Now think, for you Aussies in the area, Ipswich in Queensland. This is a mix between the two. I chose Ipswich simply because I know it well, but hey. Pretty much, this is set in a world pretty similar to our own, with similar tech, plus hologram creation. Then add a bit of New Domino, specifically the fact that card games are taken seriously, and this is what you end up with. Duel Disks, life-or-death card games (lol) and maybe Duel Runners, in the real world. Now that that’s explained, now for what’s specific. The world has had a large outbreak of crime, and the main character is part of it. I won’t say much more, for spoiler issues. I won’t name chapters myself, simply because I write whatever works for me at the time, but if someone else comes up with one, thanks. I also realise that real hacking may or may not be how I describe it; I have not tried. R&R, rate, love, hate, peace out, all of that. I do not own YuGiOh, only my own characters and storyline.[/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter One]His hands glided over the keyboard effortlessly, whether from years of practice or misspent time, he couldn’t tell. Lines of code flashed before his steel-blue eyes, which took in every last letter and numeral. The light from the monitor played slight dancing light shows on his face in the low-light room, turning black before white, then black again. Fingers rattled against a worn keyboard. A half-eaten sausage roll sat beside his blurred hands. Tonight was only a small job. An order had come in from a local mafia boss, to infiltrate the national police records. No, it wasn’t to erase his own; living against the law was too fun. The crime lord wanted to [i]increase[/i] his bounty. “The cops are getting slack,” he had said. “Three hundred ‘kay for you to bump up my records. I’m starting to get bored.” Alistair had readily agreed. Three hundred thousand dollars for doing something he did daily? Easy cash. He wasn’t known by the name Alistair often, of course. No one in the crime business ever used their actual name, let alone hackers. Probably because they were the most vain. Under the cover of day, his non-existent friends knew him by the name previously mentioned. But during business deals, and while executing them, he was known as X.RAR, one of the most infamous hackers of the twenty-first century. With a few deft movements, he was in. He navigated to the area where the record’s informational files were kept. Scrolling down the list, he found the mafia Iord’s real name, which had been released to him, on the grounds that ‘if you reveal my name, you’ll be the next body in a backalley’. The records were surprisingly long already. At least a dozen convicted crimes, and most likely that again that still hadn’t been found. Going off what Darren – the mafia leader - had already done, he added in a couple of extra offenses, including another murder or two and even a heavy armed robbery of a famous art gallery. With that done, he quickly logged out of the system, to prevent tracers on his computer. Not that it would matter if he did; he had another six setup in various places, on different networks. Tomorrow he’d collect his cash. [i]Until then,[/i] Alistair thought, [i]I may as well touch up my deck.[/i] He wandered over to the light switch and flicked it on. His room was a mess. There were comp noting and Duel Monsters magazines strewn carelessly over the floor, and a card encyclopaedia had snuck itself onto his single king-sized bed. He shoved most of the stuff on his florin to a convenient empty corner, and placed the card guide on his dresser. Alistair frantically searched for his cards, which were buried under a jumper that was mysteriously placed in his sock drawer. He gazed at the cards with about as much care as most would at a $2000 T.V. As with most people’s decks these days, they were a reflection of him. However, being who he was, the majority of his cards were actually carefully reproduced fakes, but Alistair had edited them into the creator’s official database, so no one would know. He placed the cards on top of the encyclopaedia, and hit the lights again before crawling into bed. It was late, after all, and if things turned out right tomorrow, there was a duel in the works. _________________ Alistair met the mafia in a café, their duel runners perked outside. The money was exchanged quickly and quietly, and each went their own way. Or would have. Just as they started up the bikes, a challenge of a duel was presented to Darren, to ‘seal the deal’. “You’re on!” he had yelled in reply to Alistair’s outburst, obviously eager for action. The pair mutually agreed for the duel to take place on a nearby basketball court. They each readied their disks, loaded their decks and stood a distance far enough apart. “Duel!” [u]Alistair[/u]: 4000 [u]Darren[/u]: 4000[/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 2] Alright, chapter two. Let’s see how this goes. I’ll include a list of cards that Alistair uses at the bottom, since he uses customs. Each person drew five cards, as was regular, and Darren called out that he would start. Drawing an extra card, he looked at his hand with some surprise. [i]Maybe good, maybe bad. I wonder what he uses…[/i] Alistair wondered. “I’ll start off by setting two cards and a monster!” He placed the cards on his duel disk, and holograms appeared on the ground in front of him, large card backings. People walking around started cluster around, for lack of anything else to do. “Your go.” [u]Alistair[/u]: 4000 | 5 in hand [u]Darren[/u]: 4000 | 3 in hand 1 face-down monster 2 face-down Spell/Traps Alistair drew a card to start his go and looked carefully at his hand. Yes, it was an old deck favourite, but he had tuned it a fair bit and was still getting used to it. “Alright, first off; I activate Virus Infection!” The card appeared facing Darren on the ground, a green-bordered hologram depicting a small insect burrowing into a computer chip. “This lets me send 1 card from my hand to the Graveyard,” he explained, slotting a card into his Graveyard area on the duel disk, “to take control of a monster you control!” The face-down card on Darren’s side of the field hovered over to Alistair, who took a peek at it. [i]Venom Cobra… counters, eh?[/i] he thought. [i]This oughta be fun[/i]. Darren’s expression of annoyance deepened when Alistair set a face-down and Summoned his Virus Launcher by tributing the Cobra. “Now this is fun”, Alistair said as the Launcher, an indistinct shape of a large machine with a cannon arm, with a blue-ish body and glowing red eyes, stepped out of its card. [ATK/900 DEF/2300] “It’s a Machine with only 900 attack, granted, but I can discard a Virus card to change control of any card on the field, and if it’s a monster, inflict damage to you equal to its level. But since there are no other monsters,” he said, smirking at Darren, whose Cobra was used for it, “I’ll have to content myself with swapping one of your face-downs. I discard Virus Grounder - Omega to take your face-down on the left.” The face-down – which Alistair learnt was a Scrap-Iron Scarecrow – [i]Bingo[/i] – moved over to rest behind his Launcher. “And then, because I don’t like that face-down, it’s your go.” [u]Alistair[/u]: 4000 | 2 in hand Virus Launcher [ATK/ 900] 1 face-down Spell/Trap [Scrap-Iron Scarecrow] [u]Darren[/u]: 4000 | 3 in hand 1 face-down Spell/Trap Darren looked at his hand, drew, looked at that, his hand again, then the drawn card, before erupting into a smirk. “O-kay, activate face-down Damage=Reptile! Then activate Terraforming from my hand!” The face-down card lifted upwards, showing a snake and a person hit by a blast, as an earth being hit by an asteroid materialised. [i]If he’s using Venoms, then that means…[/i] And I search and activate my Venom Swamp!” he declared. All of a sudden, the people that had crowded around the duel disappeared, and the cityscape was replaced by a sulphurous swamp, mosquitoes and snakes abound. “Then I summon the Mystic Tomato!” An evil-looking vegetable leapt from its card onto the field and glared at Virus Launcher. [ATK/1400 DEF/1100] “But since I know the face-down you took from me was Scrap-Iron, I won’t attack. “And then the swamp activates.” Both monsters had some of the ‘water’ splashed onto them, and they both looked weakened by it. The tomato started to rot, and Launcher began rusting. [u]Alistair[/u]: 4000 | 2 in hand Virus Launcher [ATK/ 900 -> 400] 1 face-down Trap [Scrap-Iron Scarecrow] [u]Darren[/u]: 4000 | 2 in hand Mystic Tomato [ATK/1400 -> 900] [b]Venom Swamp[/b] | Damage=Reptile Alistair grimaced as his Virus rusted. He knew the swamp would come out, but not this soon. [i]Ah well,[/i] he thought, [i]I’ll just have to make adjustments.[/i] “My turn.” He drew and formulated a plan. “Yup. Alright then, getting rid of the swamp…” he muttered. “Ah! I summon my Virus Buster – Alpha in attack mode!” The machine stumbled out of its card, a small box robot with the Greek symbol for alpha printed on its chest. [ATK/1400 DEF/900] It and the Virus Launcher exchanged a brief nod. “Then I’ll activate Launcher’s effect to change control of your Venom Swamp to my side by discarding my Class C Virus.” Launcher loaded the card into its catapult and fired it at the card that represented Venom Swamp. A chain followed it and latched onto the card, and Launcher reeled it back so that it rested in Alistair’s Field Card Zone. “Alpha’s ability is tricky. We look at each other’s hand, and swap 1 card that we choose from each other. But to do so, I need to tribute a face-up Spell or Trap I control. Guess which?” Alpha’s chest opened to reveal a vacuum, which sucked up the Venom Swamp in reply to Darren’s growl. As it disappeared into it, the surrounding area returned to the cityscape. Now in view of the public again, Alistair and Darren walked over to the center of the field, looked at each other’s hands, and exchanged Darren’s Vennominon, the King of Poisonous Snakes – from a choice of it and Venom Boa – for Alistair’s only card – his Virus Master Delta. The two walked back to their respective sides and continued. “Alright then, since Tomato’s back at full strength from Swamp’s effect not being there, I’ll just put my Launcher into defense. Your go.” [u]Alistair[/u]: 4000 | 1 in hand Virus Launcher [DEF/2300] [1 Venom Counter] | Virus Buster – Alpha [ATK/1400] 1 face-down Trap [Scrap-Iron Scarecrow] [u]Darren[/u]: 4000 | 2 in hand Mystic Tomato [ATK/1400] [1 Venom Counter] Damage=Reptile How’d I do? Not entirely sure on the turn summary, since it could break up the flow… opinions? Also sorry that I didn’t detail how Launcher changed the first card.[/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted February 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 Bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted February 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 Bump. Want reviews... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legolover09 Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 My review is that no one will want to review it with emoticons in there plus it is one giant wall of text. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted February 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 There wasn't mean't to be smileys... happy now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinforce Posted February 19, 2011 Report Share Posted February 19, 2011 I like it and will read it. Good to see that us Aussies are finally getting a fan fic of our own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted February 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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valliant12 Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 Nice. I live in Australia, and are glad to see someone doing an Aussie Fan Fiction. I think you should have a little bit more detail, and Darren's deck to be Venom. It'd make sense; a guy comes out of nowhere and initiates a duel with the main character. Unless you'd like them to be friends in which case I have no idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted February 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 [quote name='Absol King' timestamp='1298717245' post='5035763'] Nice. I live in Australia, and are glad to see someone doing an Aussie Fan Fiction. I think you should have a little bit more detail, and Darren's deck to be Venom. It'd make sense; a guy comes out of nowhere and initiates a duel with the main character. Unless you'd like them to be friends in which case I have no idea. [/quote] Thanks. What areas do you think I should put more detail into? I might just make Darren a minor character that pops up from time to time, but I think I Venom deck actually might work for him. Now that I've got the deck ideas, I just have to construct a list... fun. Should be updated within a week unless I procratinate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valliant12 Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 Detail: Alistair's personality, not too much yet, just enough to help the reader understand him. Where is he morally? Darren's Deck: I'd help you there, but I'm terrible with deck building; unless it's Blackwings. P.S. It's spelt procra[b]s[/b]tinate. Sorry, I just can't stand spelling errors. Maybe it's because my grandmother was an English teacher and always hounded me when I was younger about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted February 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 First point: Fair enough. After I finish the duel that I've started writing about I'll delve a bit more into his character. Second: Yep, me too, overall. And I've never even seen someone use a Venom deck, so this should be interesting. Side note: Conceded. I was rushing a bit, I guess. EDIT: CHapter 2 is up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valliant12 Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 I liked it. I think you should the turn summary as it will remind the reader what's going on throughout the duel. Just be careful during Darren's turns when Alistair's thinking; it took me a minute or two to finally work out who was talking and whether the same person was playing Swamp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted March 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 [quote name='Absol King' timestamp='1298887051' post='5040860'] I liked it. I think you should the turn summary as it will remind the reader what's going on throughout the duel. Just be careful during Darren's turns when Alistair's thinking; it took me a minute or two to finally work out who was talking and whether the same person was playing Swamp. [/quote] Alright, fair enough... I'll edit when I get some time. Or make a note if it for the next chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azphreal Posted March 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2011 Bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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