dogfish44 Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 This is my first fanfic, a Yu-Gi-Oh one. There isn't ever exactly much to write here, so I'll post up the first chapter. Like any fic should. [spoiler=Chapter 1]*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* A red light filled a dark room, as the alarm clock flashed and screeched. From underneath a quilt, a slightly tanned arm extended out to the off button, knocking the quilt halfway off his body. Sam, the person beneath the quilt, fumbled around his room and searched for some clothes, whilst bemoaning the fact that he had forgotten to turn the alarm off on Friday. Slotting on some tatty jeans and a black jumper, he gazed out of the window. The grey skies of England loomed above, but for once weren't raining. The best view from this 7th floor apartment was that of Willow Green, where you'd find several kids dueling, where most of them only did 2000 life point duels, but did use the holographic duel discs. Although the park was called Willow Green, there were no actual trees there, just a large amount of grass and an old playground. This meant that people like Sam could see when something was up. And when he looked out at the park, there was obviously something wrong. A large crowd had gathered around what appeared to be a duel, and obscured his view of one contestant. But that one didn't matter, the big issue was the other, smaller duelist. What was his brother doing out there? Sam ran through the unpleasant British cold, the wind chill painfully attacking him. He pushed his way through the crowd, and saw what was going on. His brother, Jake, was dueling someone quite recognisable. Pearl was 15, a year below Sam, and with straight black hair and slightly tanned skin. She was one of the few people who had the power to sway Sam's opinions without wearing a miniskirt. Sam's face changed colour to Crimson, as he stood amongst the crowd, watching the duel. Pearl used a friendship deck, and had the 2 most ironic monsters for something of her beauty - Swamp Battleguard and Lava Battleguard. She had 2 face down traps/spells. Her hand was empty, and she rested on merely 200 life points. Jake, on the other hand, was doing just as bad. He had only 1 face down card, and no monsters. He was doing better though, with 1100 life points. He also had an empty hand. "Draw!" Jake shouted. He shook a bit, and then smiled a lot more, as he summoned a monster. "GO! Goblin Elite Attack force!" The crowd jeered, as even versus Lava Battleguard, 150 damage wasn't enough, and the force could be destroyed easily next turn by Swamp Battleguard, along with virtually any monster do deal the final hit. However, Jake shook of the insults, and carried on with "I activate the trap Skill Drain!" Jake then felt his life points drop down by 1000, below that of Pearl. As his life fell, so did the power of Lava Battleguard and Swamp Battleguard. Jake shouted "Attack Lava Battleguard! Great Goblin Swords!" The group charged the red ogre, but Pearl was smiling, as the Shift Trap Card flipped up. Her voice, quiet and tranquil as ever, calmed the crowd. "You now attack my Swamp Battleguard." Jake was laughing though, still under the impression he had won. "Not good enough!" laughed his cocky voice, exactly how you'd expect the 12 year old to laugh. Pearl was still smiling, as the final face down card flipped over. "Mystical Space Typhoon. Destroy Skill Drain." Her quiet tone had a lot more power this time, and even Jake fell silent. The black windstorm engulfed the Skill Drain, and the hologram of the card was viciously shredded into dust. The Goblin Elite Force was still attacking all this time, and couldn't stop the charge. Swamp Battleguard glowed a green, and swung a fist at the leader, who toppled. The rest fell like dominoes onto each other, a perfect position for the green Battleguard to smash both fists down onto the pile. The pixels shattered, as Jake fell to 0 life points, and also to the ground. The 2 battleguards gave each other a high five, and faded away. Jake got up, and brushed some of the dirt off himself. The crowd dispersed as Sam came storming over to him. Unfortunately, Pearl wasn't leaving and before he could start shouting, Pearl went over and started to talk to him, whilst Jake eagerly showed her some of his 'Combos'. Sam muttered under his breath "Being cute and young won't last forever Jake..." Jake gets up and runs in the opposite direction from Sam, who chases him. Suddenly, a hand appears on his shoulder, and Pearl whispers "Relax."[/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefman Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Nice story, it uses cool adjectives and well personifies the setting and actions of nature. Short and sweet, and held some interesting duel activity. Well done! 10/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogfish44 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'll try to work on the length. Oh, and I better note this - This fanfic may progress into the realms of PG-13 for some chapters. Chapters like this will be marked, and a summary will be given of aforementioned chapter so that younger readers don't miss the plot. Also, I naturally PREFER slightly older cards. You might have already noticed this (The Battleguards being ancient), but I will try to use Synchros. Just so you guys know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefman Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 [quote name='dogfish44' timestamp='1297542884' post='5005069'] Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'll try to work on the length. Oh, and I better note this - This fanfic may progress into the realms of PG-13 for some chapters. Chapters like this will be marked, and a summary will be given of aforementioned chapter so that younger readers don't miss the plot. Also, I naturally PREFER slightly older cards. You might have already noticed this (The Battleguards being ancient), but I will try to use Synchros. Just so you guys know. [/quote] It's OK, I'm sure anything you write will be fine. Judging on how the first chapter looks, this will turn into a very good story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Rare Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Chapter 2 Now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogfish44 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 Is actually being worked on. To explain - I was waiting on more reviews, and duels take time to make. Should be up soonish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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