noobkoreans original short stories (it'll never die, no matter how much times you shoot it)

[WTFauKorean]

official writters so far
NB AKA desperado finale
Hiyama
and me WTFaukorean

we always accept new writters

[spoiler=story #1 The Bunker by WTFaukorean][center][center]The Bunker

"CMON HURRY YOUR ASSES UP GOGOGOGO!" I slammed the door shut as the last person came, still breathing hard, running from the machines. We were ambushed and our ammunition supplies were cut off, luckly I found an empty underground bunker. I counted off 7 heads including myself.... only 7 men
"state you names and ranks soilders..."

"Greg Andrews private 32nd company 2nd platoon"
"Josh Hollard private 32nd company 2nd platoon"
"Charles Apone private 33rd company 1st platoon"
"Gels Sheldon lst liutenant 2nd in command 32nd company 10th platoon"
"Angel Garcia sniper private 31st company 1st platoon"
"Mike Farve combat medic 31st company 5th platoon"

I finnally introduced myself last "Daniel Kota 2nd division Captain under 28st company 9th platoon. Alright men there is no clearance outside so weapons and ammunition check. After that well try and map out are positions overhead."

Greg instantly started to talk to a man in his same platoon after dismissal "was the 28th and 33rd division even near our positions today?"
"I dont know man I was to busy running my ass when I heard the first 200 megavolt charging the air and exploding" Josh replied with a shrug he took out a couple gauss battery packs and a few spine clips

"hey man 33rd was there but the platoons got split they scaled our positions and heat waved the s*** out of us" charles overheard them whispering and jumped into the conversation. It was funny that I could hear them to actually I think everyone could, they sucked at whispering.

suddenly the bunker lighted up *WARNING ENEMY ANDROID HAS INFILTRATED THE BUNKER*

The lights we're blaring. I remember that piece of junk alarm system. Barely accurate they never updated it for the past 2 years of this damn war. But as a captain I had no other choice but to follow agenda
"ALRIGHT EVERYONE LINE UP AGAINTS THE WALL!"

"cap. are you serious? That things worthless it cant tell a droid from chicken s***." Charles complained
The medic spoke up "hey listen to the captains orders, idiot or are you the droid?"
"f*** no, im not a droid" Charles lined up

I took out a knife "we dont have portable scan equip right now so we have to do this the ol' fashion way. Small cut on the forehead, I feel a metal skull and your the one."

"Im not gonna get cut up for false s***!" charles spoke up again and everyone backed away from him, he was still againts the wall "what the f*** guys cmon you know im with you"

"your the only one here with a different company from everyone elses." angel pulled up his 60 megavolt canister sniper and aimed it at him

"ease down" gels said in a calm voice check him first, he grabbed the knife out of my hand and went up to charles, everyone silent and eyes glued
charles looked at the knife and back at gels

"how the f*** do I know your not gonna kill me with that knife liutenant? huh? what about you, aint a cog?"

gels smiled "hoho you really piss me off private." he pulled out his bolter and aimed it at his head "I really will kill you" he pulled the trigger and a bolt blasted trough charles' head splattering blood and brains.

angel instantly pulled his rifle at the liutenants head "HE WASNT A BOT DAMNIT LOOK NO WIRES! NO COGS! JUST BLOOD AND BRAINS!"

I began to panic, this was getting out of hand I pulled my bolter out at the liutenant "your mistake liutenant, give me the knife"

"not you to captain, cmon how could I have honestly known? that guy was asking for it." he pleded

"my knife liutenant." my vision was fixed on him

"alright but get that rifle OUT OF MY FACE!" he knocked the rifle barrel to the side and Angels weapon fired and Josh had a hole in his stomach

"JOSH!" greg went up to him and caught him while the medic looked at the hole
"the shock went past 30 megavolts in his body, he's gone"

"YOU BASTARD!" Greg diddnt know whether to point his rifle at angel or the liutenant so he went back and forth in his aim

"we..we... all need to calm down" my voice was weak

"you killed two people liutenant..." angel said calmly
"YOU PULLED TH....!" the liutenant screamed out, Angel pulled the trigger before he could finish and the lietenants head was gone "what a surprise he isnt a cog... just a bloody a******" the liutenant as well was no machine. I had to gain control both Greg and Angel we're unstable, I was now really convinced there must be a machine in the bunker, and shot angel

"CAPTAIN!" greg screamed, "you to?" his voice getting weaker "No one here is a machine captain were all human! look at all the lives lost..." he started to cry
I realized my mistake just to gain control... Just because of a sudden panic.... A heavy feeling fell over me.... as I pulled the gun to my own head...

"NO!" Gregs scream
Greg diddnt understand what happened. He looked at the medic Mike who looked back at him. Walking over to the body of the dead captain... no not dead... broken.
Greg and Mike looked with disbelief as wires and metal tangled within the hole, on Captain Daneil Kota's head.

[/spoiler]
[spoiler=story #2 with nobeginning and justicemaster collaberations][Spoiler=Neko by somenoobkorean]

Authors note: This one does not have more of that suggested gore that you all wanted sorry, guys I didn’t use gore at all for this one really. I hope you enjoy it either way. I got a lot of good feedback from you guys on my first short story, which I hope you continue to comment and critique. So for this story I added more dialogue and descriptive details (special thx to ipointmaps.com for coordinate locating) that I hope is enough to satisfy you guys. This story was inspired by my tree hugger friend who was complaining to me about how sad it is for all those caged animals in pet stores... and you know I’m not really the kind of person to care about animals. So I made and entertaining story out of it. So without further a due I present to you Neko, enjoy![/center][/center]
[center][center] [/center][/center]
[center][center]Neko

Recipient: George Wilson
File type: transcript of an audio recording
Date received: December 25th 2010
Time received: 11:59pm

December 25th 2010 9:38pm onboard “The kindred”

Master Maxwell Rayburn, at age 34 is one of the youngest yet powerful multi-millionaires in all of Europe’s nations. Despite this he has no fame... At least to the mass media and the general public eye, Master Maxwell is invisible to the outside world. But deeper into unethical grounds he becomes a legendary entity that only affects those that are involved in the many underground businesses that cycle’s wealth through the trades between European nations, with a lack of any public surveillance.

Yet at the prime of his youth and power, he has none but one weakness, his 16 year old daughter, Clair. A bastard child to a mother Salome Bell, who left her child 2 years after birth, unable to take the pain and burden of watching her husband do the unthinkable obligations of an underground emperor.

Some rumored she was caught running away by Maxwell’s henchmen, body chopped to pieces and hidden in the vast sea. Others who were loved her and grew fond of her for her kindness and compassion, had more hopeful thoughts and rumored that she ran away and made it to America... unfortunatly these men and women were silenced immediately the moment there wishful words escaped their mouths.

But that is a story for another day, no today I am here to tell you about an event that happened on this exact day 10 years ago. December 25th 2000, Master Maxwell hosted his 3rd annual Christmas party. He invites the most prestigious underground allies to a very exclusive location, a ship that never docks on piers nor land known as “The Kindred.”

This ship has been anchored in the same spot in the ocean for the past 20 years, exactly 84.706049 latitude and 76.992188 longitudes. This location has no major aircraft traffic paths at any given time and is almost unreachable by any private air transportation. There are occasionally the unfortunate few private aircraft overhead, which would be instantly targeted by the anti-air missile system.

This make’s the location only reachable by boat and everyone is to board before Master Maxwell begins his speech on “Business accomplishments and forgiveness” which begins at 7:30 sharp, which he has never presented late nor early. But on December 25th 2000, he arrived to present his speech at 7:49pm, because earlier that day Master Max’s daughter Mistress Clair received her first pet.

December 25th 2000 3:46pm “loyalty pets”

Maxwell Rayburn was walking down rows of cages with his daughter curiously peering into each cage as they walked down, his hand on her small shoulder.
“What about this one sweetie? This one looks very loyal and clever.” Clair shook her head and moved ahead of her father continuing to look in each cage
“This one looks strong, it can take care of itself.” As Clair’s father beamed down at his suggestion, Clair yet again shook her head and continued to move along
Maxwell started to become impatient “well you have to choose one quickly; you want to make it on time to daddy’s party don’t you?”

Clair wrapped her fingers around the bars of a certain cage, whatever resided within the small entrapment looked up at her from the corner of his cage. “I want that one!” Clair exclaimed.

Maxwell looked down in disgust “but look at it, it looks so weak and useless.”

Clair pouted “no I want that one, look it needs us to take care of him right?”

Clair reminded Maxwell to much of her mother Cindy, and his temper rose “what have I always told you? To get ahead in life you always choose the best and make it even better.” … He made a quick mental note on how he needed to hire a tutor to teach her about self-gain. He would be willing to pay a great deal for that.

“No! I want Neko, or I’m not going to the party! If you don’t ill…ill, ill sink the ship!”

“What?! And what the heck is Neko?” just before Clair could argue further the store owner came by.

“Hey my name is Vinnie, is everything alright?” Maxwell didn’t need to show some Vinnie that he was having daughter issues

“How much is that one over there?” he pointed at into the cage without looking inside of it.

“Neko huh? Hmm I was gonna put him down today too, no one wanted him. I guess today is his lucky day, I’ll give him to you cheap, $150.” Maxwell raised his eyebrows at the shop owner

“Do you realize who I am? Is that the best you can do?” Maxwell’s voice was quite threatening
“Yes sir, I’m sorry sir but I have a family to, I can do $50 but that’s the best I can do sir.” Maxwell’s rage was building, how dare this weak being tells him to pay anything for a useless piece of trash.

“Daddy just pay for him and let’s get him okay?” He started to get annoyed at his daughter as well “please daddy? It’s Christmas after all.” Maxwell was irritated but he was wasting time and he needed to get on a move on. Clair never met her mother once but why does she take after her so much? He thought to himself.
He pulled out two $20’s and handed it to Vinnie “you are a lucky man today $40 is something a person like you will never get from me, so you understand that?” Vinnie knew he was lucky to be alive and instantly put a collar on Clair’s new pet and gave her the leash for her to hold.

“Let’s go, Clair” Maxwell strides ahead while Clair lingered behind on purpose so her voice could not be overheard by her father.
“Hi Neko, my name is Clair, well have lots of fun as my new playmate.” Clair whispered in a friendly tone to Neko
“Hello Mistress Clair, I have served 2 other families for 2 years each and I will be and do whatever you wish.” Neko responded
“Why are you so formal silly? were friends now.” She said as she stuck out her tongue. She then took of Neko's leash of his collar but was too lazy to bother with the collar itself. “How old are you?”
“I apologize Mistress Clair, I Vinnie told me I was 10 years of age, but I do not recall my date of birth exactly.”
Clair giggled “still being formal, I’m only six and I’m still taller than you.” She said proudly as she used her hand to indicate the comparison to superior height. “When we get home I’m gonna make you eat lot’s till your really big, then you can give me piggyback rides.”
“Clair we have our boat departure is in 20 minute we have to get going!” Maxwell shouted behind him not looking
“Let’s hurry!” Clair said, and took Neko’s hand running.

December 25th 2010 11:44pm onboard “The Kindred”

This is how I became a Slave to the Rayburn family, specifically a guardian for Mistress Clair. You will understand why I sent this to you Mr. Wilson, as the head of Europe’s international enforcement, Mistress Clair and I want to take down Master Maxwell Rayburn's empire. I gave you the information and evidence needed to easily capture him.

I am planning to escape Master Rayburn’s hold with Mistress Clair’s assistance, as she wants to become a free woman, as I intend to continue to be her guardian. There is very little time and I can hear the party begin to end, *faint voice “we must get going Neko”* Mistress Clair is beckoning to me at the moment so we may escape tonight. Do not look for us after you have taken down the underground empire…We wish you the best of luck.

[Recording end]

Sender: Unknown
Date sent: December 25th 2010
Time sent: 11:59pm
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=untitled by nobeginning]

Authors note: It's a YCM short story so it's based after it. I have another one that was made as an example for those who needed it but they're both very old. This one is the one I made seriously. madness is what I was going for. It was originally made for Hereh'sMoa upon request. She asked for a fight involving me. I asked her versus what and she said tentacles. If she asked for a drama or something I would have made that. The plot in this is kind of a self explanatory thing. Really, I'd like to think of this whole thing as an inside joke. Hotaru987 is a member that I love to give a hard time with tentacles so I put her in the edited version. The original version had Yggdra instead because I was mad at her at the time.
[/center][/center]
[center][center]An untitled event on YCM


As most stories begin it was a normal day as I walked to the bar. Of course I wasn't alone otherwise that would just bes ad. I was with SSD, who I cleverly gave the nickname of STD. He was my normal drinking buddy and although I normally didn't like him because of his constant boasting of inferior skills he wasn't bad when drunk or even just drinking.

He was wearing his normal attire which was just some crappy looking armor and I was wearing my normal street clothes and a jacket. Odd pair but it was normal in YCM. In fact, I was probably the weird dressing one.

We arrived at Status St. where the bar and a lot of recreational buildings were including an arcade and dance floor. Personally I wasn't a dancer though always getting stuck there for some reason involving the girl I call bubble girl. Well all of this was normally there. We gasped as everything was in shambles. Well the bar like a few other buildings seemed okay other than what seemed like it needed quarantine. STD instantly gasped and ran to his precious bar to make sure it was okay. I urged him not to go but I knew that wasting energy on it wasn't a good idea.

My goal was to look for anybody that can tell me what happened here. It didn't take long to hear the cries of a young girl. I ran to the cries being belted out only to find Hotaru, a young female member, in an alley with most of her clothes ripped off and looking pretty badly beaten. Everything inappropriate was being shown. I respectively averted my eyes and covered her with my jacket.

I calmly said as to not frighten the young girl, "Hot. Tell me. What happened here? Why is Status Street like this? Why are you like this?" Knowing Hotaru I could already guess what was going on.

Hotaru was still crying but managed to say a few words. "T-they were everywhere. They killed all the men and..." she began to trail off skipping the word that came after and. "...all the women..." She collapsed.

"Hot. Hot! What are they?!" I knew there was no point in continuing. She was out cold. I left the alley and was taken away when I saw what looked like an explosion (only excluded fire) come from the bar. I felt rain and looked up. It wasn't rain...rain isn't red...Then the head of my drinking buddy landed in front of me. I stepped back. "W-What the h*** just happened?"

I felt the shaking of earth and heard the cracks of the ground I was stepping on. Whatever just killed SSD was now after me. "S***!" I jumped back as what seemed like a pink telephone pole burst from my previous position. I looked curiously as the pink pole moved around as freely as air. I looked up and down inspecting the odd moving pole. "That's Not A Pole! It's A Freaking Tentacle!" As the tentacle lunged at me like a snake I quickly summoned one of my many gatling guns and opened fire just as the tentacle was an inch from the barrel of my gun.

I didn't, no, wouldn't stop firing until the magazine was emptied and the tentacle ripped to shreds due to the pure power, magazine size, and rapid fire ability of my gatling gun. I dropped the gun in front of me and fell to my knees. I was breathing heavily but not in exhaustion. In excitement. I knew that tentacle monsters have more than just one tentacle. Possibly thousands. A smirk inched across my face. "H*** yeah. This will be fun."

There was more shaking from underneath me. Much more shaking than earlier. I quickly somersaulted to the side as another one came up but I knew that wasn't right. I quickly stood back up ready for whatever. I could hear the cracks underneath me. I sprang up into the air and summoned a large flamethrower this time. I used gravity to help me aim it at the ground. As the tentacles bursted out I pulled the trigger. The tentacles were burnt to cinders in seconds as I was pushed up by the power of my flamethrower.

It was getting to easy and I knew it. Two large tentacles burst through the nearby buildings I forced the flamethrower to be pointed at a 45 degree angle and pulled the trigger again. The power of the flamethrower spun me around. My flamethrower disappeared and in its place was my signature bat. I was still spinning at an incredible rate and I let the forces take my bat to as far as I could while still keeping a good grip. My bat caught the left over fire with me as I spun. I released the fire that had actually become a fireball at one of the tentacles. I yelled as to go with my attack, "Blazing Home Run!!!" It hit dead on turning the tentacle into ashes but the second was what I had to worry about now. It was getting close but the speed of my spin was perfect. My spin slammed under the incoming tentacle bringing it up yet still alive but my spin had stopped. The actual bludgeon part of my bat came off to reveal a sword that extended to be about 1/3 the times larger than the bat. I spun it around in my hands and threw it in the air. The tentacle was cut off and fell to the ground. I fell on top of it glad that it was able to cushion my fall so well even though it got me a little dirty. Unfortunaly the massive amount of spinning did cause me to vomit a bit.

I wasn't the only one getting serious. A forest of tentacles sprung up around me. Instead of shrieking in fear like most people I only laughed like a madman. I knew that I had an opponent to get serious for. Something worth the sweat. A revolver appeared in both my hands. The left one had CERBERUS written along the barrel and the Left one read NULL. I pointed both guns down opposite sides of the streets and quoted TK from my favorite anime Angel Beats although he was really just quoting a song, "I kiss you." I pulled each trigger six times and watched as my greatest creation ripped through tentacles. I threw the guns into the air with chambers out as ammo appeared in my hand. I threw the ammo into the air and it seemed to just fly into the chamber and back into my hands.

I heard another of the cracks from underneath me. I crouched down and pointed the two guns at the ground underneath me and again pulled the triggers. The earth seemed to blow apart as chunks of pink bursted out with me also being flown upward and being forced to do some flips until I settled upside down. Another wave of tentacles came. Larger than the last. They saw this as their oppurtunity...but really their greatest mistake. He spun around rapidly shooting his two revolvers. I let out a hail of bullets as whenever I pulled the trigger I'd spawn the bullets right into the now empty spot. I eventually settled onto the ground. The power of my revolvers being shot managed to slow my descent drastically.

Down the street the was a small burst in the ground. I knew it was just to get my attention. A large spherical pink thing came out of the ground. It thousands of razor sharp tentacles that could slice a tank, demonic horns that could pierce the most dense material with ease, teeth that could chew anything as if it were a stick of gum, and horrifying eyes that could destroy in a man in a single gaze. I looked right into its eyes and it into my eyes. I could tell it feared me. My eyes were giving off a blue glow that seemed to be as if I was the devil himself (except with red eyes because we all know his are red) was looking at the creature but just little ole me.

I knew the outcome of this fight already. I began to walk away turning my back to the beast. The tentacle monster saw it as its opportunity to attack. Its tentacles, horns, and teeth were all ready to tear me apart. As it was a foot away There was what sounded like a large explosion and then chunks flying everywhere.

-5 Minutes Before To Now-

I threw my spinning blade up to cut up the tentacle but that wasn't my real plan. The blade kept going higher and higher and eventually reached the exosphere. Gravity then brought the blade back down and of course into the tentacle monster with the power of a large comet. Tentacle monsters are predictable.

-Now-

I left without my blade. I decided to leave it there to honor those who died. I sighed as I said, "Great. Now I need a shower...and I could still use a drink."[/spoiler]
[spoiler=The Battle of Status Hill by Justicemaster]
Author's Note: This was based (loosely) on two different battles of the spoon against TheComposer. Again, based loosely. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSELY. It wasn't supposed to be near arcurate to the actual battle against Engestu. Also, TheComposer seemed more evil to fit mallet boy standards and I came back to life anyway[/center][/center]
[center][center] [/center][/center]
[center][center]The Battle of Status Hill


Three months ago, at about the same time the earth was created, a man known as TheComposer created a status. This status questioned the power of the spoon, claiming the mallet was mightyer. I was somewhat moved by this, and this began the great status battle. I remember that battle with great detail.That mallet user was my ultimate foe, besides the one who became my greatest ally, NoBeginning. I walked up to Composer, in his barren status.

"My mallet is the source of a great power! Your spoon is just a worthless dining utensil," He called at me. I decided not to use violence until needed before repling, "ah, that is wrong my friend, for the spoon's power is endless!" My foe, and fellow spoon user, NoBeginning walked to my right and stopped. "You cannot, NB began," comprehend the true power the spoon holds. You decide to be ignorant, and that is why you lose!" A giant explosion occured where The Composer stood. He must've been hurt at the least...

The dust cleared, showing that The Composer had survived NoBeginning's spoon blast, easily too. "HA! You are too much of a coward to fight! You hide behind your spoon's power, when in actuality, you have none!" At that moment I shouted "SPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!" Millions of spoons came from all directions at Composer. He was able to fight them off for a bit, but after a bit, he had to go defensive. That spoon attack took much of my power, I felt so weak. He eventually stopped the spoon and rushed at NB.
NoBeginning threw a single spoon at Composer, blowing up the mallet.

"Damn!" Mallet boy didn't like this at all, though, in a way my foe helped him. "Well," Composer smirked, "NOW YOU MUST FACE THE BANHAMMER!! AHAHAHAHA!" I watched in pure shock, knowing that one member alone could not defeat him. "NB!" I shouted, "our powers can defeat this enemy! We must join forces, however!" My new ally looked to the ground, "until we have defeated this force! After that, we are enemies..." A smile formed on my face, "agreed."For an hour our my partner and I fought to our limits. Until NoBeginning made one mistake. He tried to use the ultimate spoon attack, but the mallets reversed it on us. My friend died in front of my eyes. "WHY!" I yelled with hatred in my voice. I unleashed ultimated spoon on Composer. We fell to the ground. Nothing was said. We looked at each other planning our next move when we could stand.

It was then, what seemed like an angel decended and stood by our unmoving bodies. It looked like a grand dragon, with flames all around itself. It delivered a message to me and Composer, and I shall always remember the few words told to me by this mod. He looked at us both, took a deep breath and then said six words to us both. "Banned for fighting on the forums."[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=story #3 Red head wont stay dead by Nobeginning]
Location: Piers of New York City
Time: January 3rd 3:17 a.m.
“Stupid security guards just can’t take a bribe,” said a slender man of about average height. A hood was covering his face and a gun was being held in his hand. He of course was not alone. There were three other men there. Three of them were standing around and the fourth was just lying on the ground surrounded by a pool of blood. “Well it doesn’t matter. I love a good kill and lots of blood.”

A gust of wind blew by and knocked the hood off from the man holding the gun revealing his dark red hair and eyes. “Brrr…it’s friggin cold here.” One of the other men looked at the red haired man. He was tall with short black hair and although it was two in the morning he was wearing black sunglasses. He did have a long black trench coat which did seem better fit for cold weather but at the same time seemed awfully thin. The red haired man looked at the two. “Hey wannabe cool gangster and Sir Sleepsalot. Take care of this body.” By Sir Sleepsalot he meant the third guy. He had brown hair and incredibly drowsy looking brown eyes. He was wearing a normal jacket and gloves.

As the red haired man left Sir Sleepsalot let out his hundredth yawn for that night. “Damn, that guy is weird for a drug lord. His choice of locations is pretty cliché though.” The other man was grumbling something as he picked up the body. It sounded like, “Gonnabe stool bangsta…stupid mug cord.” What was said was obviously not that but from that it was pretty obvious. Or maybe the guy was just Russian. He did seem to have a lot of strength though since he was able to lift the hefty security guard over his shoulder like it was nothing. As the man in trench coat was walking away the drowsy looking man grew a large smiley. His eyes were wide open now. The drowsiness seemed to randomly fade. “Clichés are annoying, aren’t they? Oh and by the way. I’m here to kill your boss.” The man in the trench coat quickly turned around only to be greeted by a knife in the face. He fell to the ground with a thud.

The hitman walked up to the newly dead man. “Man, that easy. A bear on a unicycle would have been harder than that.” He laughed a bit at his crappy joke. He took the knife out of the man’s head and wiped the blood on the man’s coat. He then opened up the coat to reveal a secret arsenal of guns. “Damn dude. How strong were you.“ There was an assault rifle, shotgun, and a pistol. “A secret arsenal of guns and you’re doing body dumping? I see. I was expected then. The bastard wants a fight.”

The guy’s trench coat seemed to have about everything needed for a full on assault and the hitman wasn’t going to let it go to waste. He only had the knife he killed the cliché guy with (now back in a sheath on his belt) and a pistil tucked away in his jacket. There were even straps with holsters for the guns. He checked out the guns and their ammo. “Everything is good to go.” After getting everything set up the assault rifle and shotgun was now strapped on to his back and could easily be grabbed and put back. The two pistols were in holsters on his belt.

“Damn this is kind of heavy. I better start shooting and get rid of this weight.” He took out his pistol with silencer. He already knew that they knew about him so there wasn’t much of a point in being too discrete. Avoiding getting ganged up and shot was a good idea though. The hitman decided it would be best to take the alleys to get closer to his target while avoiding his armed guards.

After getting past one of the warehouses he heard some footsteps. He put the pistol back into his jacket and hid into the shadows. There were a lot of them obviously. There really weren’t too many lights in the place. When the person walking past him just got near the alley he jumped out, grabbed the person, and dragged the person back into the alley. The hitman shoved the knife into the person’s neck. After a little bit of time passed all movement was gone from the stabbed person’s body. Upon further inspection the dead person was a woman. He didn’t care though. He let the body just drop to the cold ground.

He didn’t get to do much else when he heard some more footsteps. It was hard to keep a group quiet, especially when they were running…and yelling. “I saw something over there! It Must Be The Hitman!” There was no time to run he’d have to fight. He took out his assault rifle, an M-16 to be exact to what kind of gun it was. Based on the footsteps there was four or five. Not too much of a hassle for the lovable hitman.

Quickly he worked up a plan. He looked around for anything to use. Other than a light on over by the direction they’re coming from and an alley across the walkway there really wasn’t anything. Well this didn’t seem like it would be a battle of wit. This would just be brawns, guns, and skill. He jumped out of the alley and started shooting at the men. They were a bit surprised but were still able to fire back. The hitman jumped into the next alley just barely dodging the bullets but taking out two of the enemies. “There were definitely 5 guys. I think I managed to take out two. I only used 10 of the 30 bullets in this magazine. Three are left. I better hurry this up before their friends get here.” He put the M-16 back into the customized holster.

He took the shotgun out. It was pump action which meant he must pump it before he could shoot again but that was obvious. He also pulled out one of the pistols he took from the cliché guy. He threw the shotgun out of the alley. As they were distracted and pretty much wasting ammo on it he walked out of the alley using his free right hand to pull out his knife. He had the side of the blade face the gunmen causing a flash of light into any eyes of somebody who was able to change their focus back on him quick enough. The combination of the two distractions was able to just let him go down the line shooting them.
He heard more running and escaped into the alley managing to completely avoid any more enemies. He continued to run down the alley until coming to an open area. Across the area was a warehouse with lights on in it. “That guy wants a fight? He’s going to get a fight.” He walked up to the doors to the warehouse while taking out the assault rifle. “20 bullets are more than enough.” He kicked the large doors open but was surprised at the sight. The place was filled with cocaine but that wasn’t the surprise. It was the fact that nobody was there. “Awe…no big awesome final battle?”

He entered the ware house and looked around. After further investigation he found a body laying on the ground. Weird foam was coming out of the man’s mouth. The hitman reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a picture. Crouching down he held the picture up to the man’s face while also checking for a pulse. “Red hair. Red eyes. No signs of plastic surgery, dyed hair, contact lenses. This is definitely my target, Nathaniel Vandenberg. No pulse. He’s dead. He must have overdosed and had a seizure.” The hitman sighed as he stood back up. He dropped the assault rifle and pulled out his silenced pistol. He aimed it at Nathan’s head and pulled the trigger. “Double tap b****.”

He left the warehouse and there waiting for him was a black limousine with the driver waiting by a door. He smiled as the door was opened for him. It was the client’s ride. Something was odd though. The driver was beginning to run away. The hitman tried to get out but the door was locked. The window was bullet proof. As the driver looked back some wind blew his hat off. Blood red hair and eyes illuminated by the lights from the warehouse. “That’s Impossible!” Nathaniel took out a remote and pushed the power button. Three seconds later the limousine blew up.
[/spoiler]
NB's epic zombie story of epic epicness! all 1000% acredited to him for being f***ing awesome
[spoiler=TNK's crituqe rave]
i came my pant on every sentance, this was your best f***ing work yet, im in love with this story, beginning to end, i mean especially the end was pretty f***ing awesome way to end it, loved the diologue, it made me jizz money and now im $20 richer, gave me a goregasm that only grade A militrery gallons of mortal kombat on steroids could provide. in fact it was so good im am still jizzing my pants now as we speak and i think i turned gay for your writting. This "made me jizz more than ever thought humanly possible" if anyone dosnt like this story than f*** you

good work dude, i love you... no homo.... well except for your writting, homo for your writting[/spoiler]
[spoiler=YCMOTD (YCM of the dead)]
“So…There’s about…” The young man looked at his small group. “Ummm...Wynn…Ooky and Genji…Kaga and Kasa…Ziggy and Raine…Noob and Chain…and for some reason Jake and Jesse were here. Not the best timing for you two to actually be here. I mean really? The rare time…oh forget it. So there’s 12 of us altogether.” He turned back to face a small portion of the army that was surrounding them. “And about 150,000 of them.” Plenty of moans was coming from the army that was slowly drawing in closer. “I hope you guys all have something to fight with.”

They all gave a casual nod as they lifted what they had if anything. Wynn seemed to be dual wielding a light saber and very strange looking gun. “It looks like we’re going to have to do things your way Des.”

Hereh was obviously terrified of the situation and was hiding behind Genji at the moment. She still had a very short sword about the size of a man’s forearm. “Genji protect me.”

Genji turned around to hold onto her. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you no matter what.” A sniper rifle was strapped to his back. The middle of this infestation wasn’t the best place for him to be.

Desu sighed as he turned to face the couple. “If you’re so scared why’d you choose to stay out here and fight instead of going into the bunker? Bubble girl and Andy went.” He quickly glanced at the advancing zombies. “This is dangerous you know. Others have already died. SA was viciously ripped apart. I just got rid of the giggles a few minutes ago.”

Kaga was eating a snicker doodle. Desu let out a facepalm and said, “A snicker doodle? Really?”

“Shut up, they’re delicious,” Kaga replied. Desu didn’t bother with a response to this.

Zegram was holding a large mallet and Raine had a longsword. Both of them seemed to be hyper as they continuously jumped up and down. FTW looked at the two. “Don’t use up all your energy already guys.” The two stopped jumping.

Kasa didn’t even have anything. “I was late to get in the bunker…I’m not the combat type. Although I didn’t realize Kasa was.”
Two fully loaded pistols appeared in Desu’s hands. He threw one to Kasa and the other to Kaga. “Go crazy.”

Noob started smoking a blunt. “And before anybody starts questioning why I’m trying to get high is because I fight better that way.” Nobody really cared anyway. It was Noob.

Chain was carrying around a sword the size of him with incredible ease and an RPG launcher was also on his back but it didn’t seem to hold him back one bit. The sword had a chain attached to the end of the hilt and the rest of the chain went into his Jacket’s sleeve. He was singing to himself. ”Let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor.” Chain was ready for a massive slaughter.

A grin popped up on Desu’s face as he said, “Rectum.” Both him and Chain started chuckling at their inside joke.

Jake had his infamous dual twin hook swords and Jesse was dual wielding a shovel and shotgun. An M16 assault rifle appeared in Desu’s hands. A magazine for the gun soon appeared and he loaded the gun. He didn’t bother to look back when he talked this time. The enemy was getting too close to lose focus on. “Hey Jake. How’s Lora and your sis?”

Jake smiled at the thought of those two being tucked away safely in the bunker. “They’re fine. Thanks” Jesse was getting anxious to start killing.

Desu aimed his assault rifle at the head of a moving zombie. “Obviously not all of us are set to go into this crowd and start going crazy. Genji, Ooky, Kasa, and Kaga. The rest of us will clear a root for you guys. So you can get into that nearby building.” Desu raised his rifle up a bit as to point at the building but then went back to the zombies head. “Get to the roof. Genji, you will be giving support fire from there. Don’t go crazy. Only shoot when necessary. Like when somebody’s going to be attacked from behind. The rest of you three will protect and reinforce the area. The rest of us will be down here. We’ll Slaughter Them All!”

Desu pulled the trigger and they all sprang into action towards the building. The three bullets fired from the semi-automatic gun went cleanly through the zombies head and continued killing another three. He continued to fire at more zombies as he charged through. A zombie attempted to grab the charging Desu’s shirt but he quickly hit the zombie with his gun’s stock and in a quick 360 spin he shot the zombie.

Although the weight didn’t affect him much he wanted to get rid of some of it. He stuck his sword into the ground and jumped on to the handle while taking out his RPG. “I’ll pee on your face!” He fired the RPG into a portion of the group in front of the building’s entrance. He let out an ooh and ah after seeing the explosion and zombie parts go everywhere.

Desu caught a zombie arm and started beating zombies with it while simultaneously shooting zombies with the rifle. The explosion opened the root and the four ran into the building. “They’re in!” Wynn yelled as he cut off the upper body of two of the zombies with his light saber. He continued to his onslaught of the zombies with his light saber.

Noob’s blunt had finally burned out but unfortunately for him zombies were now surrounding him and a lot of them too. Wynn looked back and yelled, “TNK!” He was going to charge in and save him but he felt somebody grab his shoulder.

“Don’t worry Wynn,” Desu reassuringly said to Wynn, “Noob isn’t weak. Just high.” In some odd blur all the zombies surrounding Noob suddenly exploded and his blunt was back to normal. “Really really high.”

-Rewind five seconds-

“Just high.”

-Slow down to 1/1000 speed-

Noob looked around to see that everything seemed to have stopped. He grinned and started attacking the zombies. He let out a fury of punches at the first zombie in front of him. It didn’t move much though. He raised his leg up into the air and brought it down on another zombie. This assault continued for the rest of the zombies. “I still have some time left. Are there any girls nearby? bowchickawowwow.” He looked around but remembered all the girls were sent into the building. “Damnit NB.”

A few moments later time went back to normal. “Really really high. Now why exactly are watching this when we’re surrounded?”

Wynn sighed as he helped up his weird gun known as firelance. “Well I’m not exactly worried.” He fired a round at a zombie and soon disappeared. As the round was about to hit the zombie, Wynn appeared on top of its head. The round hit and exploded causing Wynn to go flying over the crowd of zombies. While flying over the heads of the zombies he was cutting them off with his light saber and firing randomly into the crowd with the firelance.

-Meanwhile-

The little foursome was walking up the stairs to get to the top of the building. The elevator had shutdown a few floors back but luckily the doors were able to open and they got up. “Am I the only one freaking out here? I mean really? There’s freaking zombies all over the place.” Kasa was holding his pistol close to him. It was still fully loaded.

“Oh quiet down. Do you really want them to hear us?” Kaga was eating another snicker doodle now. The pistol was set to safety in her pocket.

Hereh was holding onto Genji and he had an arm around here. “Don’t worry Hereh. I’ll protect you.” As if on cue a zombie fell from a higher floor towards them. Genji held Ooky closer and with his free hand punched the falling zombie in face avoiding the mouth. After the punch zombie’s head was nothing but jelly. “I said I’ll protect you.”

Kasa quickly yelled out, “Protect her from that!” More zombies were falling down towards them. Hereh let go of Genji and jumped at one of the incoming zombies. She quickly sliced its guts open and using it as a platform jumped to the next continuing this process for about four more zombies until jumping back onto the stairs. She missed one zombie though. Kasa freaked out randomly fired four shots into the air. He managed to hit the remaining one zombie but it fell onto him. “Ahhh! Get it off of m-“

“It’s dead,” Interrupted Kaga. Kasa got a blank look on his face and pushed the zombie off. “Nice kill though.” He let out a small smile after hearing the compliment from Kaga.

Hereh looked down at them from the top of the stairs. “The rest of the way is clear!”

Genji stared blankly at Hereh for a minute. “How’d you do that.”

Hereh smiled as she replied. “Panda taught me.”

Some rage seemed to fill inside of Genji. “I’ll shoot him!”

“No you won’t! Bad Genji,” Hereh snapped back. Genji sighed. He seemed a bit sad.

-Back to the crazy group of mofos…and Wynn-

Jake was just cutting up any zombie that came near him with his swords. You’d have to feel bad for them. Not only was he a master swordsman but also…“Centum spiritus aer. Vinculum facti inimicum capient. Sagitta magica, Aer capturae.” A sage. A hundred arrows made of pure air formed above Jake and soon plunged into the zombies. One arrow for each zombie. “100 down. 144,672 to go.”

Jesse was viciously assaulting the zombies with his hovel and shotgun combo. He stepped onto the foot of the zombie and plunged his shovel right about the zombie’s waist. He then brought the shovel up successfully ripping off the upper body of the zombie. The zombie was still alive though and tried to attack Jesse. Jesse shoved the barrel of his shotgun into the zombies mouth and pulled the trigger.

Desu had just ran out olf ammo in his assault rifle for the seventh time but now he didn’t have time to reload. A zombie was coming right at him. He head butted the zombie sending it to the ground but not dead. It tried to attack him from there but it found his head soon smashed into pieces by Desu’s bat. He faced the other zombies. “Who’s pitching next?”
Just the force from his huge sword crashing down caused the zombies near Chain’s sword to be blown away. He held the blade similarly to a javelin and threw it. It sliced through zombies as it went flying through the crowd. He grabbed the chain that was quickly coming out of his sleeve and started spinning. The large blade sliced through everything it came into contact with and the chain basically just rammed into things and caused them to go flying. He then released his grip onto the chain causing the sword to fly into a building and the rest of the chain to come out of his sleeve. The building the large sword hit toppled down onto more zombies. “That was heavy. But now I can get serious.”

Raine and Zegram thought it’d be a good idea to stick together. So they had been working together this whole time. Zegram was playing a little no hole whack a mole. Raine was just cutting off the heads of five zombies at once. “Face the power of a knight,” Raine yelled out as he swung at the zombies beheading three more zombies.

-Back to the other guys -

Genji was relaxed in his sniper position watching the battle unfold. Hereh was sitting next to him. “Damn. I wish I was down there. They look like they’re having so much fun.”

Genji smiled a bit. “Well who cares if we’re just able to be together.”

Kasa and Kaga were by the door and the only entrance to the roof. Unfortunately they couldn’t find anything to blockade it with so they just stood guard. That’s when they heard a banging on the door. Kasa and Kaga aimed their guns at the door. “Help! Let Me In!” The two looked at eachother and back at the door. Kaga walked up to the door and opened it.

The young man jumped through the doorway as Kaga closed it behind him. “What are you doing here Hiyama? Why aren’t you in the bunkers?”

Hiyama was panting heavily. “I was in this building while everything was going on. I locked myself inside a room and stayed quiet. Then I heard you guys walk by. I didn’t come right away but when I came out there was a large amount of zombies going down the hallway. I rushed up here to warn you guys and take shelter myself.”
There was one thought in all of their heads. “Oh f*ck.”

-Back to

The guys were all now in their own little pairings with their backs together. The two barehanded fighters, Noob and Chain, the goofballs, Raine and Zegram, the brothers in slaughter, Desu and Jesse, and the other guys (good movie), Wynn and Jake.

-The Two Barehanded Fighters-

Chain gave an odd grin. “DF has told me about you. He says you’re a cool guy.”

Noob had a high smile across his face. “Right back at ya bro.”

“Did he mention he was a furry?” Chain jumped at the zombies in front of him.

“Wasn’t that obvious?” Noob jumped at the zombies in front of.

Chain quickly jabbed at the zombie in front of him. By the end of his assault the zombie had more holes than swiss cheese and fell to the ground dead...er. He continued his jab attacks on the other zombies making any zombie nearby to be like swiss cheese. He was from Wisconsin after all. Time for noob seemed to slow down again as he unleashed deadly combos on all the zombies nearby without them to move more than an inch or two.

-The Two Goofballs-

“My Mallet Is The Ultimate Weapon!” Zegram slammed his mallet down onto the head of yet another zombie as Raine cut off the legs of a few and thrusted his blade into their heads.

-The Other Guys-

Wynn seemed to be getting a bit tired. Both of them were. “How long can we keep this up? We’re not like those kids with all their stamina.”

Jake wiped some sweat away from his face. “As long as it takes to kill them all.”

Wynn let out a smile. “It’s time to get serious.” He began to transform. His clothes ripped apart as he grew and he had hair covering his whole body. “I suggest you keep a good distance away as much as possible.

“Note taken.” Wynn in his vampire/werewolf form started ripping apart the zombies while Jake was attacking while also using his large arsenal of spells from something as simple as a fireball to a demon dragging some zombies into hell.

-The Brothers In Slaughter-

“3652. How about you.” Jesse seemed proud of the amount of zombies he has killed throughout the long fight.

Desu smirked when he heard the number. “6473. That’s what? 2821 more than you?”

Jesse didn’t seem to lose his confidence. “I can still catch up.” The two both pointed their guns at a zombie that was closing in from the side. In perfect harmony they yelled, “We’ll Slaughter You All!” and pulled the trigger.

-Meanwhile…again…-

Genji was now turned around to face the door on the other side of the roof along with Hiyama who was now spinning a microphone around on its cord. Kaga and Kasa were in between Genji and the door. Hereh was a few yards away from the door.

Kaga threw her pistol to Kasa. “You need this more than me. You’ll be weaponless.”

Kaga chuckled a bit. “I was never weaponless,” she stated as she took out a snickerdoodle.

Kaga facepal-gunned “That’s not a weapon. That’s a cookie.” Shuriken like blades came out of the cookie Kaga was holding. “How do you eat those?”

“Not the time for that,” Kaga said as the door broke open and zombies came in. Kasa started shooting with his dual pistols, Kasa threw her snicker doodle shurikens, Genji sniped them, Hereh would slice and dice them, and Hiyama would throw his microphone at a zombie to either immobilize it while somebody else killed it, throw it off the roof, or just rip its head off.

-A Few Hours Of Fighting Later-

Kasa let out a sigh of relief.”They finally stopped. Good too. I’ve been out of ammo for a while and just pistol whipping anything that came too close. Same can be said for Genji.”

Kaga dropped to the floor panting. “I used my last cookie there. I should get Desu to make more if he’s not dead yet anyway.”

-20 floors down-

They ran into the building about five minutes before. They were still in the first floor lobby watching as the automated turrets gunned down some zombies. “Why didn’t we do this before?” Wynn questioned. To answer it some zombies broke through the line of defense when others were getting in the way of the turrets or when they ran out of ammo.

Jake sat back against the wall. “We’re all going to die aren’t we?”

Desu stood up. “Like hell we will. Lora would kill me if she heard I let you die on my watch.” He stumbled and fell back to the ground. “Damn. I’d say we fight until there’s nothing left but I’m all tapped out.” He gripped his revolvers as tightly as ever.

The others stayed quiet as the zombies approached. Some seemed to be praying. Others were making quick phone calls. This included the ones on the roof. Desu let go of one of his revolvers and slammed his fist into the floor. “Like hell I’m dying like this.” He slowly began to pick himself up along with his revolver. “I said I would slaughter them all.” His eyes seemed to give a blue glow that caused the zombies to stop in place. He raised his revolvers up to the zombie horde. “Don’t come back this time.”

Desu started shooting his revolvers at the zombies. When he ran out of ammo more would randomly spawn in front of him. He would open the chamber and with a quick motion move the revolver to the bullets where they’d just go into place and he’d keep shooting. Wynn started shooting his firelance at them and Jake would use more spells.

They got up and charged through the crowd. Desu was not only shooting but pistol whipping. Jesse was just going crazy with his shovel. Noob and Chain were just punching and kicking the s*** out of whatever was in their way. Jake and Raine were cutting up anything nearby. Wynn would cut up anything and shoot every zombie he saw. Zegram was still playing no hole whack a mole. They all yelled out, “We’ll Slaughter You All!”

-2 days later-

Desu was leaning against the wall of a building that was half destroyed. Noob was there smoking his blunt. “Look at me. We almost die fighting zombies the other day and I’m already smoking weed as if nothing happened. Must be the weed keeping me sane.”

Desu sat down while still leaning his back against the wall. “I didn’t think you’d have a problem with what happen. Somebody I hated tried to show off and faced a horrible death so I’m in a pretty good mood.”

Noob sighed. “I’m just thinking. Should we really be relaxing like this? Crazy sh*t has been going on lately. There were that tentacle monster a few months back. Now we have freaking zombies.”

Desu stood back up. “Since when have you been the one to worry about these kinds of things?”

Noob laughed. “Actually I was hoping for more of these things. But don’t you think all this is odd?”

Desu began to walk off. “The thing about that is that I just plain don’t give a f*ck.”
[/spoiler]

after a ridiculous haitus

[spoiler=story #4 Internment with a hiyama collaboration]
[spoiler=internment by WTFauKorean][spoiler=authors notes] so yeah..... really long ass time since I actually finished one of these, like my trilogy It has potential to end with awesomeness but I think It's a bust for now, gotta organize it better. so that's gonna be taken down and put back into formula. but for now enjoy this. It is actually an older story that I did which I modified so it would have a better narrative delivery to it. I'm basing this off where I live and I actually have no Idea how internment camps we're set up back then. If you are Japanese and you are offended be sure to read "Why Koreans are are f***ed up" also by me =s..... enjoy![/spoiler]

Epilogue

Through the lack of communication with Russia, America handled the axis powers alone with the British. With our own power we were victorious. The American people showed their might and pulled through, even when the French wanted to take no part in supporting the allies in the war. Even after they were freed from German territorial conquer by the mighty hand of the American military.

In early 1945 the German army inevitably lost too much of their people and was being slowly pushed back. Japan broke apart from the axis powers realizing their loss. Victory was in our sights and all was coming to peace, the war was sure to be over as the German army officially announced their surrender march 6th 1945. It was then when we became unprepared and let our guards down to the imperialistic force of the Japanese military. Focusing only on the midway war causing Hawaii to become a Japanese territory on April. 29th 1945.

When America lost one of their most significant states and establishments for the war in midway we were devastated... not only because our military lost but the lost of one of our most prized jewels; our state of paradise. Every resource was spent on taking Hawaii back. With Hawaii’s isolation it is near impossible to take back Hawaii without suffering extreme local and military casualties. But I, the president of the united states Harry S. Truman, assure the American people that everything will be done in my and this countries power to take back what is ours in the condition it once was.
[/center][/center]
[center][center][b]Internment[/b]

"Pst, guys hey guys over here!" I whispered through the fence at a couple of kids along the fence. "I got you guys some Spam and rice make some musubis for yourselves."

"s***? That’s all you got? How bout some huli chicken and manapuas?" Chuck Goenitz a scrawny haole kid really was one of the toughest kids around the block, for looking like a tooth pick. I heard one time from hyun-jae that he knocked out three a Japanese soldiers on the beach all just with a single punches. I called bullshit until he actually dragged me to a tree in front of the internment camp entrance. I saw Chuck being taken away by 4 soldiers followed closely by 3 soldiers put to sleep being carried on shoulders.

"Shut up man he’s actually getting us some grinds." Joe Fisher, its funny that he’s actually a real local fisher. He's not a half-ass line fisher either. He runs into the water with alua spears, stabbing and anything with a fin. "Thanks Tats." That’s what they call me 'Tats' short for Tatsuya. Yeah I’m a Jap, so what? Its not like I chose to be one. Heh, and they say all those Asians look alike and throw all the haole and Hawaiian guys in the cages.

"I was just kidding, anyways here take this Kano'e wanted you to use it wheneva." Chuck handed me a shark tooth dagger. It was pretty well crafted to, I'm not a hunter but hell I think I can behead a puka (boar) with this thing.

I was kind of wondering why Kano’e wasn't here himself "where is he?"

"His mom made him stay inside cuz he kept making things like these." Joe pointed to the dagger "Japs almost caught him with a weapon like that." I noticed a solider coming closer and I knew it wasn't long before I was in visual range.

"s***, guard." I ditched without another word and the other two left in a hurry as well, knowing what would happen if caught. I started running but the solider must've saw me cuz he was chasing, I was scared and I was running with wet pants. I tripped down the hill towards the beach and almost s*** myself knowing the soldiers gonna kill me.

But then I heard one loud bang and the sky was on fire. Anti-air guns popping off like crazy and I guess the solider heard it to cuz the smell of burning metal was and bullets popping was getting closer. I looked up and saw a plane coming down and it looked like it was coming right for us, then I really s*** myself. I laid flat on my stomach and felt something fly right over my head and heard a crash a split second later.

"Holy s***, holy s***, holy s***...." the solider got smashed by this burning chuck of metal and I didn’t know whether to be happy that I lived or sad that that I s*** myself and I almost got killed because there was a plane propeller sticking out from the ground 1 inch to the left of my freaking head. One thing was certain, I was grateful. In my train of thought I felt a presence above me and looked up. Parachute hovering down I say it land in the trees and I ran toward the landing.

When I got there he was hanging on that chute caught in a tree, when the guy saw me the first thing he did was pull a gun on me. "Don't move! You're just some kid but it doesn’t change the fact that you're a Jap."

I stood there motionless unable to speak, but then I realized that this guy is screwed on this island no matter what I do so I did a macho act. "Listen dick you're the one stuck up in the tree, I can help you, but maybe some respect? Hawaii Is packed with Jap soldiers and I think you'd rather be with me, than with them, unless you want to have a katana shoved up your ass." I held my breath and gulped, Oh s*** what am I saying?

"Alright kid I know what this place is like, so I won't piss you off. Now help me get down from here." The solider put his gun away and waited. I walked up to him, climbed the tree and took out that shark tooth dagger, sawing away at the chute harness. I forgot that it was a long drop from this Koa tree and realized it a little to late after the guy fell from his chute harness.

"Son of a b****." He was gasping for air "That really hurt my ass."

"Sorry..." I mumbled down.

"Great act kid I thought you we're really a tough badass. But I guess I didn’t notice your s*** stained pants till now." The pilot grinned in cheap victory. But I knew I had a power over him here and with out a word I started walking away. "Hey where are you going?" I didn’t answer him I just kept walking.

"Hey, c'mon kid I need your help..."

Still walking away I answered him "really now? I though I was just some Jap pussy."

"I didn’t say that. I just said you s*** your pants." I was not amused and I kept walking "I was just kidding. You have to help me If you help me I can make Hawaii what it once was, a part of America." That was something interesting.

"Why are you here exactly?"

"No one is suppose to know this but I was suppose to take images of the island on plane so artillery strikes will hit major military locations and avoid hurting the civilians. But now that my plane is down I can map the area in detail from the ground." Holy crap that was awesome, a real American military special tasks pilot.

"Okay If I help you, how am I suppose to?"

The pilot thought about it "Well first of all I'm pretty hungry and tired, so I need food and rest. After that I need camera, so I can detail things on the coordinate map. Last I need a way to get out of here."

"Okay food, rest and camera I can do but how the hell am I suppose to get you off this island all the way to..."

"Midway east point, American side about 650 miles to the south east."

"Yeah... there."

The pilot thought about it a bit more "Well those Japanese zeros go about 340 mph so it'll take me less than 2 hours to get there."

"But you got Jap signals on your wings."

"I can always crash the thing and coordinate my chute landing really close to the ships." I looked at him like he was crazy. "No seriously, we do it all the time."

"Alright, I can help you but from now on call me Tats, not kid."

"Alright Tats, you can call me Shane."

"So how long will it take to map the entire place anyways?"

[b]5 months later[/b]

I couldn't see and my face was hurting so much I think I don't feel pain anymore.

*PACK! *

Never mind I felt that one

My interrogator put his face right in front of mine. "Somehow you managed to get Intel of this military location and send it flying on a Japanese zero. At the same time you managed to kill a solider with a shark tooth dagger, suppress 30 plus soldiers and kill 3 of them with our own T99 machine gun... I never thought it would be one of our own people to help American scum."

"You forgot the part where I flicked you all off when the plane flew out of range off all the anti-air shots and laughed." Oh yeah my interrogator was getting mad. "...And to add insult to injury you should ease your face out of mine because your breath smells like ass."

*PACK! *

"Just some kid and you think you're or so brave and such a big man, for those petty insults. I've had enough of him he doesn’t have the information I want... It flew away already, Kill the boy he's just dead weight and a disgrace."

Just then I had a flashback of the few moments of my life that mattered and counted for something.

[b]4 hours ago[/b]

"Well this is nostalgic." I whispered to myself. "Pst. guys over here."

"This is it brah the last of the mapping, inside the internment camps." Kano'e handed me a piece of map paper and coordinates through the fence.

"That last photos man." Joe handed over photos mapping out details of the internment camps.

Chuck looked at me "This is the s*** that counts man."

I gave all of them a nod "This is it bros, Tomorrows it. We're getting all this s*** out of here and this is where things only get better."

"OY! Nakare dekata!" Oh crap a guard

"Gotta dash guys." I started running as fast as I can and I ran into Shane

"You got it! Great job man." I stopped him.

"Less talking more running." He ran without question suddenly there we're rifle shots above me.

"BEIKOKUJIN!" shouts of an American are punching my ears as sirens go off.

After 5 months we map this entire place and they find out about Shane the day before departure.... bullshit.

"Listen they no I'm here I have to get off this island, now! We have all the mapping so we need to get down to those zeros at the air base near the harbor."

"You’re shitting me... Its broad day light." I looked at him in concern.

With a rushed and sympathetic look he could only answer the reasonable "you think I can stay here any longer?" I knew he was right but getting into an airbase on alert in broad daylight, stealing a Japanese zero and flying it out of here.

We ran for what felt like hours we could still hear the dogs chasing us, but none of the Japanese soldiers knew this thick Hawaiian jungle path like I did. We could still hear them but their sounds were fading. We saw the air base underneath us slid down the steep hill trying not to stumble and tumble down the thing.

"karera ka miushinao!"

"s*** the zeros is probably in that hanger... You need to get it open before I can fly." Shane looked at how difficult this will be and started to worry.

"Don't worry about it, I can do everything, all you need to do is worry about flying your ass out of here." But underneath that I couldn't help but think that entire time gathering that info would have been for nothing. "Lets go."

We dashed to the sand bunkers and saw people patrolling around. Shane assured himself that he had 6 rounds in his colt revolver and took a deep breath. Adrenaline pumping even before we we're revealed, we we're ready... Shane counting off his fingers toward me...3...2...1

Both of us burst out of the sand bag and Shane instantly fired 2 shots killing 2 soldiers on opposite sides of each other. "GO, GO, GO!" we we're running full sprint.

"BANZAI!"

*Shot* 3 rounds left

I kicked the hanger door open and 2 more shots rang in the air dropping 2 more soldiers, another popping out the control door had his rifle aimed right at Shane who didn’t notice him while running towards the plane. Without thinking I ran up to his and took out my shark tooth dagger.

"GAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" the area between the soldiers neck and shoulder had a bloody dagger sticking out of it, while the solider fell to his knees and fell to his side dead. I was frozen there for a second, killing someone with a gun is one thing. I'm afraid to even do that, I never killed anyone or even shot a gun in my life... but to hack at someone’s throat with a dagger made out of shark teeth.

"TATS OPEN THE HANGER!" I snapped out of it and started to yank on the hanger chain and the gate screeched up.

"KARERA ARAE WA!" *POW-WIZZ* bullets were flying around me when the gate was only half way up, Shane was starting up the engine and propeller. He turned back and shot his last round but hit no one, he pressed the trigger of the empty gun a few times anger that the last shot was nothing. Soon giving up and throwing the weapon to the ground he got in the plane. The gate was a third of the way up and Shane started to fire off his machine guns on the planes wings.

The angle of the plane on wheels was to high to hit anything, but it was enough to scare the soldiers into hiding behind sandbag bunkers, suppressing them enough so I can get the rest of the gate up. "YOU'RE CLEAR!"

Shane nodded at me... this was it.... He was finally getting off this death trap. *POW-POW-POW* s*** the shots rang as they whizzed right past my ear.

"SHUT THE f*** UP!" I ran toward a Machine gun nest outside, on the left side of the hanger. I pulled on the hammer and started to shoot with out aim. The kick of this thing was huge ramming into my shoulder bruising it. I pressed hard against it so it just felt like hard pushing. As the smell of hot metal rose up, I didn’t realize how many people I actually hit because the muzzle flare, but soldiers actually started to retreat.

The plane rolled out of the hanger propeller humming with vigor as it speed down the runway.

"HIKOKI NARU!" The solders we're running towards the anti-air guns setting up and preparing them to hit Shane right when he left he ground, I tuned the machine gun around toward the anti-air gunners.

"WATCH YOUR BACK!" I started firing a spray of bullets at the distracted anti-air gunners and some feel to the ground and others ran for cover. I watched the plane move faster and faster... c'mon fly, fly, fly...

The plane lifted off the ground and It moved faster that anything I've ever seen move with that size. It flew off and circled and dropped a bomb right on top a cluster of distracted anti-air guns.

*KABOOM* the explosion even knocked me back. Another cluster of anti-air guns started firing at him but Shane was already long gone.
"HAHA.... HELL YEAH." I flicked off the anti-air gunners as I failed to realize a group of soldiers flanked me from the side and threw a grenade. "Oh s***!" I grabbed it and threw right over the sandbag and ducked down.

*KAPOW* that shook me hard... what I remember next is....

[b]Present[/b]

I smiled.... smiled up at the solider with a rifle pointed to my head, knowing they all failed. The solider frowned deeply and started to get angry, he tensed up and pressed the rifle hard against my head. Then he paused, because he heard something that he didn’t like... A sound that would mean everything to me and disaster for him.

A whistle of artillery hitting just the right spots of the island.... kaboom baby!

*KABOOM!*[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Welcome to the YCmA! by Hiyama Kiyoteru]
[spoiler=authors notes]
The following story is what happens when you combine YCM, Portal, and my randomness. This is my first fan-fic/short story. Any and all criticism is welcome, as I strive to further improve my writing. I realize the story might be a bit hard to follow in terms of who's speaking, but do keep in mind that this is just my first story. Hope you enjoy^^
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=part 1]I suppose it was a typical day and all. Nothing serious was going on, and we were all just relaxing on the front lawn, sipping our lemonades and eating cake. You know, like a boss?
So anyway, we were sipping lemonades, when some random portal came out of nowhere, and a female voice said, “Next stop, the YCM! Hope you enjoy it!”
My only reaction was a simple “FUUUUUUUU-“
I never was able to finish my lemonade like a boss.

I woke up in a room, and when I looked around, I saw my friends nearby.
“Huh. They’re asleep. WAKE UP!”
They did.

“Uhh…what happened?” asked Desperado, rubbing his forehead.
A portal opened up and...don’t tell me GLaDOS…OH COME ON!
“Hai~” chimed in a female voice from the conveniently located TV screen in the room.
“Ohai, GLaDOS,” Desperado said.
“Sorry, Desu-kun, but it was necessary; the cake is a lie, and I intend to keep it that way. But you have more important things to think about now. Welcome to the YCM! Read ‘The Rules’, blah blah blah, don’t be a troll or you’ll become one, don’t flame or you’ll be set on fire, blah blah blah, the usual. Now here, I want all of you to have these.” 5 spots in the wall opened, revealing arms holding ca- *shot zooms by*
WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!
“The cake is a lie, Hiyama.”
…Oh. Right. I knew that. Anyway, let us continue. 5 spots in the wall opened, revealing arms holding…
“Don’t say it.”
Ca- pie. Revealing arms holding PIES. HAPPY NOW, GLaDOS?
“Very :3”

As I was saying, the arms, which were holding pies, soon laid them down on convenient tables, and pulled out 4 guns; except for the 1 arm holding the real gun, that is. It still thinks the cake isn’t a-
As I was saying, the arms, which were holding pies, soon laid them down on convenient tables, and pulled out 4 guns; except for the 1 arm holding the real gun, that is. It still thinks the cake isn’t a-
“THE CAKE IS A LIE, HIYAMA.”
OKAY GLADOS, I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! Yeesh.
Anyway. So yeah, the arms were now holding guns instead of pies.

“These are your portal guns. You aim, shoot, and go through the portal generated. Pretty straightforward. Now what I want you to do is use them to get out of here.”
“Where IS here exactly?”
“YCM, silly. You’re in my world now. Don’t you know that I’m the YMB windomizer? YCM is my b****.”
Heh. YOU JUST GOT CENSORED!
“Well that’s the language barrier for you, Hiyama.”
Indeed.
“You four shall be separated from each other. If you wish to communicate, you PM each other.”
“PM? You mean Private Message right?” asked FTWynn.
“Nope. I mean Portal Message. Welcome to my world ^_^”
“Are you really telling the truth, GLaDOS?” asked FTWynn, reaching for the light switch.
“Have I lied to you? …I mean, in this room? Trust me, leave that thing alone. Now grab your guns.”

We grabbed our portal guns, and waited a few seconds. “Oh I’m sorry, were you waiting for something? Okay fine. See you later, YCMers. Bai bai~”
4 random portals appeared below our feet, and the world got very bright for a second.
“Not as bright as me :3”

Oh be quiet GLaDOS.
…
YOU NEVER TOLD US WHY WE’RE HERE, GLADOS!
“Oh. Sorry about that. Just get out of YCM. That’s all I want you to do. Have fun~”

I found myself falling. And then I stopped. I landed on my butt on the floor.
Ow.
“Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects downward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not. Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms: falling thing goes in, falling thing comes out.”
Gee, thanks for the heads-up GLaDOS.
“You’re welcome^^”
Pfft.
“Don’t spit. It will only Anger the resident.”
Wait a minute.
“Waiting. You have one minute. 59…58…”
Anger? Resident? Oh don’t tell me.
“Fine, I won’t.”
Don’t tell me Anger Level is here.
“I just said I’m not telling :3”
Thanks for nothing, GLaDOS.
“You’re welcome, Hiyama^^”
I hefted my portal gun and walked forward. I had to keep my wits about me. I mean, come on, one moment I’m drinking lemonade and eating ca- pie like a boss, and the next minute I’m trying to get out of YCM. Funny how life is.
“Now listen closely, Hiyama. Keep running forward. At the last second, launch a portal. Trust me.”
Like I had a choice.
I ran forward, and like GLaDOS told me to do, I launched a portal. I went in. I found myself in a relatively large room. I scanned up and down, and then left to right.
“Welcome to C&O. If you look to your right, you’ll see the Vongola Headquarters. You’ll find Desperado in there. Hurry; I hear Anger is spamming the place up quite nicely :D”
I ran to my right and entered the Vongola HQ.
“Desperado!” I called out. “Where are you, Desperado?”
“GET THAT GLITTER AWAY FROM ME!”
“Yup, that’s Desperado.”
“WHAT DID I JUST SAY, SA?”
“Heh…caps,” said Anger Level, dressed up in a vampire costume. A jar of glitter was in his hand, and the lid was open. “Soiherduliektobeshiny-”
“Drop. That. Glitter. SA,” I ordered.
“I AM NOT A SHINY.”
“You’re dressed like a Gligar and you’re sparkling. You’re f***ing shiny.”
“…DAMMIT!” Anger Level flew (like a Gligar) at me; I raised my portal gun and fired. He flew in (like a Gligar), and then I fired another portal in the direction of a moderator. Anger Level flew out, unable to stop.
“BANHAMMER HO!” yelled the mod. He swung, and Anger Level disappeared.
I untied Desperado, and we ran out of Vongola HQ.
“Good work, Hiyama, but you still have 2 more friends to rescue,” chimed in GLaDOS. “Dementuo is in TCG. Good luck~”
“Well great. I heard the TCG Trolls are terrible.”
“They’re not that good at trolling. They’re failtrolls, that’s why they turned into Trolls physically. I, on the other hand, troll to tell the truth; that’s why I’m still in human form,” replied Desperado. “Because, you know, that’s just how I troll.”
GLaDOS chimed in. “Ba-dum-ch.”
“Sorry Dem, looks like you and FTWynn will have to wait until PArT TWo.”
“WELL HURRY UP! THEIR SINGING IS TERRIBLE!” yelled Dementuo.
“Why what are they singing? Tell us,” I said.
“They’re singing ‘White and Trolly’ by The Trolling Stones, you know, the group famous for the genre of Rock and Troll? IT’S TERRIBLE!”
“Well, Dem, it sucks to be you right now. See you in PArT TWo.”
“NOOOOooooooo……”
[/spoiler]
[spoiler= part 2]
“Okay Dem we’re back on!”
“It’s about time! Get me out of here!”
“Now remember, you have to use your portal guns. I sealed off the individual forums from each other,” reminded GLaDOS.
Desperado and I synchronized our portal launches, jumping from forum to forum. We barely survived the feeding frenzy of spambots in the Games section and the laughter from reading a fan-fic strangely similar to the story I’m telling now.
“Must be a world within a world,” said GLaDOS.
“Suuure, just like the RPs in the real world. I call BS. I bet these stories are far more interesting anyway,” replied Desperado.
“I happen to have BS’s number. It’s 1-800-2&2-FFFF- er, I mean, it’s just 10. And let me guess, by a factor of 9001?”
“What would make you say that?”
“I’m just…saiyan. Now, for you and Hiyama to get to Dementuo, the two of you must launch a portal at that wall. At the same time. That means simultaneously. Understand?”
We have to do what you say anyway, GLaDOS…
“Such a good boy, Hiyama^^”
Desperado and I aimed our portal guns at the wall, fired them at the same time, (YES, GLADOS, SIMULTANEOUSLY), and jumped in.
“Welcome to the TCG Bridge,” GLaDOS said cheerfully as we arrived. “The toll to cross is merely your sanity.”
Now I know why TCG Trolls are so notorious…
“Trolls be trollin’, yo~” chimed in GLaDOS. “Now get moving; I doubt Dementuo can last much longer with the trolling.”
“We should hurry,” said Desperado.
Desperado and I pretty much did what he said; we hurried. We got to the foot of the bridge when a Troll approached us.
“YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
What are you, Gate Guardian? Go pa-troll somewhere else.
“I ACTIVATE DARK HOLE!”
“Your caps make me have lulz. I ACTIVATE PLOT DEVICE! It allows me to go over the top Clear Mind Nexus, reduce your Life Points to 0, and have me automatically win the duel!”
“I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!!” said the Troll as his Life Points were instantly reduced to 0 and he disappeared into the Shadow Realm.
“Screw the rules, I have green hair,” said Desperado as he and I crossed the bridge. After we crossed the Bridge, Desperado grabbed his hair and pulled. It came off, revealing golden-brown hair underneath.
WHOA!
“What?”
Your hair! It’s not green!
“Well of course not. I’m not some sort of Pokemon Trainer who has to choose between two Legendary Pokemon and as a result be called a racist.”
I suppose you’re right. But still, how does a green wig bestow such power?
“It’s still considered green hair; it still screws the rules.”
I looked off to the side as he was talking.
Hey I found Dementu- WHOA!
“Whoa what? OH.”
Desperado and I came upon a scene so strange, it gave the two of us a mindf***.
Dementuo was surrounded by furry female humanoids.
Dang fetishes. I facepalmed.
“You got that right, Hiyama.”
Dem! Stop the fetish-ing. It’s making you look like a weeaboo!
“But I can’t help it! They’re so furry~!”
Just then, a humanoid Pikachu came running in heroically, swinging a banhammer left and right.
After the dust cleared, the humanoid Pikachu had disappeared, the furry humanoids were gone, and Dementuo, now untied, was left dazed.
“Come on, Mr. Furry-fetish, we have to save FTWynn.”
“Good luck with that,” GLaDOS said. “FTWynn is at the top of Status Mountain.”
“You have got to be kidding me,” said Desperado.
“Don’t worry though,” said GLaDOS. “The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.”
We found ourselves sinking into a Troll’s Bottomless Trap Hole.
NICE HINT AT THE TROLLING, GLADOS.
“You’re welcome, Hiyama^^”
PFFT. Quick! The portal guns!
Desperado, Dementuo (now somewhat recovered), and I aimed at where we were sinking, and fired. A few seconds later, we found ourselves at the foot of Status Mountain.
“Welcome to Status Mountain! Here you can see that the mountain itself is composed of spam and trolls on fire. That is punishment for what they’ve done, so do mind what you say here; all of YCM sees it,” explained GLaDOS.
Dementuo stepped on a rock at the foot of the mountain and yelled out “HIIIIIIII!!!!!”
Within the next five seconds, he got slapped with comments saying “No 1 word statuses.”
My word, that’s a lot of spam.
“You can say that again, Hiyama,” said Dementuo.
I would but it would be spam.
“Oh…right.”
“Let’s get moving. We have climbing to do,” said Desperado.
“Why not just use portals?” asked Dementuo. All of a sudden, Dementuo got slapped with comments from left to right. From “OMG YOU PLAY PORTAL 2?” and “THE CAKE IS A LIE” to the most idiotic spam of things not relating-, well, they never related to the situation at hand anyway. Typical status bar moment. Go figure.
We all facepalmed, but we knew we had to use the portal guns. I nodded at Dementuo and Desperado. We aimed our guns and fired. We jumped into our respective portals and soon found ourselves near the summit.
I looked over at Desperado and Dementuo. I waved them over, and with a short Portal Message thread (GLaDOS: “I JUST WON THE GAME!” DAMMIT STOP MAKING ME LOSE!) we agreed on one more portal to the summit.
For lulz, we all simultaneously yelled, “BEYBLADE! LET IT RIP!” while launching our portals. Good thing we all got in our portals before Sir Spamalot had arrived; that would have been ugly.
We all found ourselves at the summit: Desperado, Dementuo, and I were right behind FTWynn in his captivity chair. I cut him loose, while Dementuo yelled at the top of his lungs “I’M KING OF THE WORLD!”
He was slapped with countless “Cool story bro” memes and every other possible variation. We all rofl’d.
Just then, GLaDOS spoke to us.
“Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. Goodbye.”
You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you, GLaDOS?
“I’m not, but a Troll is.”
“TROLOLOLOLOLOLO-”
I kicked it off Status Mountain.
“Guys, is it getting hot up here?” asked Dementuo. I looked over the summit; flames were engulfing the spam and Trolls, and they were climbing fast,
DON’T TELL ME A FLAME WAR IS GOING ON!
“Trololo~” chimed in GLaDOS.
“Power in words…yeesh,” commented Desperado.
“I’m like Yugi Motou. We both have awesome voices. Yugi may have been voiced by DAN GREEN, but I was voiced by ELLEN MCLAIN. I win the game AND the challenge. Oh, and inb4nexus :3”
“Oh yeah, GLaDOS?” retorted Dementuo. “INAFTERINB4NEXUS! I PLAY OVER THE TOP CLEAR MIND NEXUS WITH CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE FTW!!!!!!”
“You rang?” FTWynn jumped up, pulled a card from his sleeve, and struck a dramatic pose.
“Impossibl-!”
All we saw in that moment was a Shooting Quasar Dragon, a spiky-haired guy on a red duel runner, and a big flash.
-----------
“WTFauKorean happened, where the heck are we, and why was that last part so anti-climactic?” asked Desperado.
“Well you see, I just inafterinb4’d GLaDOS, we are all back home, and blame the writer,” replied Dementuo.
“How, what, and why? You were trolled to the breaking point in TCG, and spammed so many times on Status Mountain that you couldn’t possibly have the focus for something like that. And how are we back home? And why blame the writerr?”
“You see Desperado, Shooting Quasar Dragon is OPed. Not even GLaDOS can defeat the power of Over the Top Clear Mind Nexus and its power level of over 9000. Plus, the writer wrote this story for lulz,” explained FTWynn.
“But Quasar’s ATK is only 4000…owait, the power of Clear Mind exceeds everything. And this entire story really has been lulzy.”
“Hey guys, anybody want some cake?” I asked, walking up.
“Hiyama, it has been established that the cake is a lie,” said FTWynn.
“Well I mean, I brought it out here since the TV was talking to me again.”
“And what did it say to you exactly?”
“It was singing some song. Sounded robotic. Oh wait! Now I remember! The song was ‘Still Alive’ and…oh.”
“Hey guys, what’s that?” asked Desperado, pointing at the playground across the street. Something was hanging down from the monkey bars.
“Hai guys~ Did you know that the cake is a lie?”
“NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!”
[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]

a bonus story of hilarity

[spoiler= "pinch me" by WTFaukorean]
[spoiler=authors note] this manly horror story was one to appeal the ladies as a comedy, a bit more than I normally would like.... cuz manly s*** comes first... but despite the horror in this short story, I guess the damn ladies should have a little break once in a while... SOB
[/spoiler]
Jim was lost. There was no question about it. At first, the jungle had seemed a nice enough place - full of interesting birds and animals, and lots of smokeable looking plants growing all around…. Yeah that’s the good s***….

But after just a few days living here he realized the plants had all been too damp with moisture to light properly, the birds kept him awake at night and he had not yet encountered an animal that doesn’t taste like ass.

Now he was lost in an uninhabited, alien jungle on a far away planet in a completely parallel universe, ship crashed and irreparable. He found that living here was like hell.

But one day he awoke to find himself in a clearing surrounded by about four dozen young women wearing the sort of fur bikini that would have made Raquel Welch give up and go home.

He very carefully didn't pinch himself in case he was dreaming.

"Hello," he said, still quite dazed from his sleep.

Several of the younger ones (aged around 18) took flight across the clearing towards the mud huts that surrounded it. "My God!" he thought "They look almost as good from that angle as they do from this"

The eldest woman there (23ish) looked him up and down.

"You are male?" She asked.

"You can't tell?" he replied,

"All our men were killed several years ago in a bizarre accident involving a herd of Tortoise. Don't ask. We have spent the last few years searching the jungle for more men to help with the whole 'having children' thing."

Jim quietly resolved never to pinch himself again for as long as this lasted *having children thing* my god this was awesome.

"So, when do I start?"

"Right away, if you like," said the tall brunette to his left.

Jim rubbed his hands with glee.

"The children are over here." Said a redhead.

Jim was confused. "Children?"

"Yes," informed a blonde, "We have more than enough men for the first bit. This jungle was full of tribes whose males were only too willing to volunteer. But we're much too busy having sex to raise the children ourselves, so any other men are assigned the task of looking after them."

The first girl took his arm. "Don't worry, the rest of your life will just fly by if you concentrate on changing nappies, cleaning up baby puke and not trying to escape in any way." She looked puzzled. "Why are you pinching yourself like that?"
[/spoiler]
[spoiler='Thoughtful' an poetic short by hiyama]
[spoiler=Author's Notes]
My second short story/fan-fic. I decided to make this story a more serious one in an attempt to get the reader thinking. I hope I have accomplished that.
I hope you enjoy my short story, entitled "Thoughtful".[/spoiler]
Thoughtful

I woke up with a start on a beach. I didn’t know exactly who I was, or where; all I knew was that I was who I was, and I was, well, on a beach. I looked around at my surroundings; the sound of the surf came in with a rhythm, the sun was setting in hues, and the sky was painted.

I began to think. [i]How did I get here? Why am I here? What is here?[/i]
I got up, brushed the sand from my legs, and stretched. It had been a while since I had moved apparently, as my body was still aching for some reason. Soon afterward, I walked over to a nearby tree and sat down. Sifting my fingers through the sand, I came upon a bottle with a stopper in it. Looking through the bottle, I saw a piece of paper inside. I pulled out the stopper and took out the paper. A message was written on it. I read it aloud to myself, my audience.

[i]This gentle sand,[/i]
[i]This wondrous surf; sound[/i]
[i]In rhythm with the heart.[/i]

[i]The sun, in hues of[/i]
[i]Wonderful orange, yellow,[/i]
[i]Mixed together with red-paint sky.[/i]

[i]The how in life shall never know exactly why,[/i]
[i]Just as the why in life doesn’t know exactly what.[/i]
[i]The what’s in life don’t know how.[/i]

[i]The body aches as if on cue,[/i]
[i]For such is life in stress.[/i]
[i]Can you appreciate life as-is?[/i]

[i]With a simple message,[/i]
[i]One can change for better.[/i]
[i]Be like Qualia; never stop wondering.[/i]

[i]For you are who you perceive to be.[/i]

I held the paper within my hands after I finished reading, the papyrus-like feel brushing up against my touch with every gentle breeze passing by.

I thought to myself for a second. [i]I came here with the waves to this beach for a reason. This beach, for me, is here. For some, here is home; for others, here is wherever their spirit is.[/i]

I thought some more for a second. And then I concluded my thoughts.

"I'm here because there is where I should be."
[/spoiler]

guess whos back? back again! Koreans back, tell a friend.

new stories

[spoiler=story #5 prediction of the future in my eyes: A Satire][spoiler=authors note]This story is about is a simple message-satire story. With splotches of humor and insanity this is a future that just might happen with our human common intrest in the advancements of technology and everyday society.
A few confusing things that I will clear up before you read the story.
1. science is now a verb instead of a noun in the future... yeah thats right, go film cow (if you know the reference you're awesome. It is sometimes used as a noun but most agree to use it as a verb.
2. gamers and game developers are the new "professional athletes" they're considered never to be messed with, and rake in income salaries of 6.5 million credits a year (roughly 6 million dollars)
3. terms like noob became more offensive than the term f*** and f*** is now a childrens swear around the same degree to our current word "weiner"
4. professional athletes are now long gone and all football, basket ball, soccer, hockey, nascar etc... players are made through an RPG system on madden.
5. collage courses in the future have really long names to be specific for the many subjects you can specialize in.
6. byunember is a new month in the year because when they inhabbited the new planet (via-sol 2) one year was 522 days.
7. no seriously the term janitor is now "loser"
8. holly wood now does not make big screen cinima and now focuses on internet movies and shows to make larger profits and because everyone with atleast a 50,000cred/year income has a internet moniter the size of a 40 inch screen t.v and internet celebrities now need an extreme amount of ratings to stay on the air.
9. freddiew becomes the new Micheal bay at age 58
10. quagmire got his own show called the quagmire show and family guy has a new character named libido-scope Jones..... Just thought you guys outa know[/spoiler]
[/center][/center]
[center][center][b]A future so unorthodox (it just might happen)[/b]
[/center][/center]
[left][left]I don’t even know how it happened. Although everyone could easily deduce the exact events that led up to this moment, they interrogated me, trying to draw out a shameful confession. I kind of just stood there, silent and reminiscing.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]Now I know I shouldn’t have been there, but the classroom’s subject appealed to me like it would to any man on earth, Macro-bio engineering for the adult industry 135 beckoned to me. Although clearly my expertise was in the glorious field of bathroom engineering, more commonly known as “loser,” I couldn’t help but wonder.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]I prefer the proper term “school custodian”, but even after more than 100 future generations of human evolution till present day; the 35[sup]th[/sup] of Byunember in the year 2143, the world just dropped the term “janitor” and Webster made it official, we are losers.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“Losers please come to the café for clean up.” Oh, the insult of that accepted definition. Even worse, out of this entire via-sol university I’m the only damn loser……. Oh god I didn’t even think of loser within quotations this time. Did I just accept this label for myself?
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“HEY LOSER, ARE YOU LISTENING!? YOU BROKE OUR EQUIPMENT! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SCIENCE NOW?”
[/left][/left]
[left][left]My mind snapped back into the situation “Uh….Well you guys scienced your way into this problem, so why not science your way out?”
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“OF COURSE WE CAN SCIENCE OUR WAY OUT OF THIS SITUATION, BUT YOU’RE THE ONE THAT CAUSED THE PROBLEM!” I formed another clueless look on my face and went deep into thought.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]It’s not my fault that I’m unsuccessful, sincerely. I didn’t know dreaming to be an internet celebrity wasn’t realistic; apparently those occupations are only for those with talent. Psh yeah, talent my occipital lobe, everyone knows it’s only about having the genetically fit hips ideal for reproduction. I work my ass off cleaning excrement holes and I get 15creds/hour while those YouTube celebrities get paid 5 million creds a year…. What a load.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]Even more BS when you don’t have the physical endurance to be a professional gamer…. Man those with scholarships for Starcraft have to be on steroids, right? I mean there’s no way you can get that ripped just from intense training, right? They have a hell of a tongue too, barely anyone would be allowed to use words as offensive as “noob,” unless they were top notch gamers. Damn, if only I had that kind of swagger. The girls would be all over me.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“Hey, wait guys. Look at the test subject.” Everyone turned to look towards the back of the room, where I destroyed multiple flasks, and a test tube mixing up concoctions for god knows what.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“Look... The test-subject! It’s… It’s alive!” Everyone in the room to their amazement stared at the naked and attractive female sitting up on the lab table surrounded by shattered glass and various chemicals.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“Can you hear us?” they asked the test subject. After a long silence, which seemed like 20 minutes, it opened its mouth to speak.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“Do you guys wanna blow job?” All the students in the room gasped and I stood there whispering “yes please” to myself.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“The science project… Test subject 169 is a success!!!” everyone in the room cheered, even me. Who knew that “Macro-Bio Engineering for The Adult Industry 135” worked on projects such as this? All the students looked at me, realizing, that my smashing those chemicals all over their new sex-to…. “Project” made it come to life. My mistake was their success.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]“Well….Um, we’ll let you go this time…. Don’t you be messing around with our sciencing ever again. Got it?” They signaled their intentions of having me leave the room. I took one last look at the completed project and left the room.
[/left][/left]
[left][left]Man what an adventure huh? The future really holds some great stu-… Another room caught my eye.
[/left][/left]
[center][center][i]“Playing God with the Universal String Theory of Alternate Universes 101”[/i][/center][/center]
[center][center][b]Instructor: Dr. Doom[/b]

I suddenly want to clean this room[/spoiler]

[/center][/center]

[The White Wolf]

That's just, wow O_O

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='Shooting Star Dragon' timestamp='1297324725' post='5000629']
That's just, wow O_O
[/quote]

i dont get it is it good or bad?

[Dementuo]

Interesting, to say the least. Dark plots are my forte.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='Dementuo' timestamp='1297406626' post='5002276']
Interesting, to say the least. Dark plots are my forte.
[/quote]

just wait till you see my next short story!

i wonder if i should have sneak peaks for my stories

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Interesting.

Edgy.

Can see what you were going for but probably too short for a short story. Not so much as in description or history or anything, just a bit more dialogue and gore would have been nice.

Will read more as you put them up.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='Bahamut ZERO' timestamp='1297442755' post='5002622']
Interesting.

Edgy.

Can see what you were going for but probably too short for a short story. Not so much as in description or history or anything, just a bit more dialogue and gore would have been nice.

Will read more as you put them up.
[/quote]

thx ill keep that in mind for my next one titled neko, lol i purposely made it short becasue i dont have the attention span to write up more as said perviously XD

[Darth Revan of the Sith]

WoW that was just... EPIC!

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='Halubaris Maphotika' timestamp='1297480660' post='5003647']
WoW that was just... EPIC!
[/quote]

thx =D anything i could improve on? so far i have to
1. add more descriptive detail
2. have more dialouge

[Desu the Blue Nerd]

It puts a unique twist on something that's been done plenty of times before. Interesting indeed. Needs more time lapse and insanity though. Maybe a little bit of background for those who don't know much about terminator.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='NoBeginning' timestamp='1297494576' post='5003861']
It puts a unique twist on something that's been done plenty of times before. Interesting indeed. Needs more time lapse and insanity though. Maybe a little bit of background for those who don't know much about terminator.
[/quote]

thx for the feed back actually bs'ed the volt weapons and tactics completly i have no idea wtf the terminator weapons and lore are like, time lapse and insanity totally will do

[Techi☺]

Might I say: Interesting

"Far-out"

Made me smirk a little in the begginging... the ending was bit of a overthrow.

I guessed the ending though... I kept thinking... No...No... It can't be... But it HAS TO BE... But ....it ... is...

Nice work!!

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='^v^Techi^v^' timestamp='1297499018' post='5003938']
Might I say: Interesting

"Far-out"

Made me smirk a little in the begginging... the ending was bit of a overthrow.

I guessed the ending though... I kept thinking... No...No... It can't be... But it HAS TO BE... But ....it ... is...

Nice work!!
[/quote]

i was trying to make it look like the medic cuz he's so damn quiet through out all of it, good work on figuring it out just wait till my next story the ending will get you im sure reached max quota for reping ill rep you tomorrow

[Jolta]

OK...

This story is so evil I love it!

Boy, just a lil' more gore and evil in your next story and your next story will be... good-er! I mean better.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='► Jolta ◄' timestamp='1297499670' post='5003948']
OK...

This story is so evil I love it!

Boy, just a lil' more gore and evil in your next story and your next story will be... good-er! I mean better.
[/quote]

hooray people like gritty and dark my next story titled neko youll love

[GreyCat]

I have to admit, I don't normally like stories that short, but you pulled it off. I loved it. But like others mentioned, It needs a bit more description.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='GreyCat' timestamp='1297541496' post='5005000']
I have to admit, I don't normally like stories that short, but you pulled it off. I loved it. But like others mentioned, It needs a bit more description.
[/quote]
thx that alot coming from someone like you actually still cant rep yet have to wait till like 7 pm for me or something, more description wiil be done hopfully

[TheGenuine]

amazing!!

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='V4.' timestamp='1297564163' post='5005848']
amazing!!
[/quote]

thx bu

[Catterjune]

Saw the plot twist coming a mile away.


Why did the narrator, Captain Daniel Kota shoot himself in the end? Why would then need to stab each other in the forehead, as opposed to someplace not-as-lethal, like the arm?

Giving the people first and last names was a waste. Call them by their last names. Perferably last names that are completely different and don't share the same beginning letter so it's easier to keep track.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='PikaPerson01' timestamp='1297577780' post='5006198']
Saw the plot twist coming a mile away.


Why did the narrator, Captain Daniel Kota shoot himself in the end? Why would then need to stab each other in the forehead, as opposed to someplace not-as-lethal, like the arm?

Giving the people first and last names was a waste. Call them by their last names. Perferably last names that are completely different and don't share the same beginning letter so it's easier to keep track.
[/quote]

Captain couldn't take the pressure and it legitamatly thought it was human,
i chose forehead because its the closest bone structure to the outside only covered with a bit of skin (plus its no where near lethal like you said unless u some how manage to pierce 3 inches of think skull and hit the brain with a small knife which is highly unlikely) compared to the arm where'd youd have to go through alot of muscle and tissue before you hit the metal structure of an android (that would probably be more detramental in a real war medic situation than a small incision in the forehead).... altough i could have done something like the knuckle XD but then no one would freak out about getting cut and i wouldn't be able to keep the story rolling. the names thing though i have no rebuttle for that, yeah ill stick with simplicity when it comes to names for that. the only reason i had for doing it was because from my experience in the military thats how you "state rank and name"

[Catterjune]

[quote]Captain couldn't take the pressure and it legitamatly thought it was human[/quote]

... Why? Why couldn't he take the pressure? He had a gun. The most logical solution would have been to shoot the other two guys. Hell, I thought that's what the story was going to end as.

He tries to assure them that everyone's a human, they panick, and he shoots them. One of them manages to fight back a bit, maybe cuts off his arm, and wires and stuff are showed. Protagonist laughs and tells the robot empire he's killed 6 people.

[quote]i chose forehead because its the closest bone structure to the outside only covered with a bit of skin (plus its no where near lethal like you said unless u some how manage to pierce 3 inches of think skull and hit the brain with a small knife which is highly unlikely) compared to the arm where'd youd have to go through alot of muscle and tissue before you hit the metal structure of an android (that would probably be more detramental in a real war medic situation than a small incision in the forehead)[/quote]

The exact way robots work isn't revealed. I suppose the "loosely based on Terminator" thing would have been hint enough for people familiar with it, organic stuff over a robot skeleton but... once again I don't believe you specify that.

[quote]altough i could have done something like the knuckle XD but then no one would freak out about getting cut and i wouldn't be able to keep the story rolling.[/quote]
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IdiotPlot

[quote]only reason i had for doing it was because from my experience in the military thats how you "state rank and name" [/quote]
I was always told "name and rank" (in that order), and it was always "[Rank][Last name]" with no mention of a first name.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='PikaPerson01' timestamp='1297617477' post='5006829']
... Why? Why couldn't he take the pressure? He had a gun. The most logical solution would have been to shoot the other two guys. Hell, I thought that's what the story was going to end as.

He tries to assure them that everyone's a human, they panick, and he shoots them. One of them manages to fight back a bit, maybe cuts off his arm, and wires and stuff are showed. Protagonist laughs and tells the robot empire he's killed 6 people.



The exact way robots work isn't revealed. I suppose the "loosely based on Terminator" thing would have been hint enough for people familiar with it, organic stuff over a robot skeleton but... once again I don't believe you specify that.


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IdiotPlot


I was always told "name and rank" (in that order), and it was always "[Rank][Last name]" with no mention of a first name.
[/quote]
lol robot must shoot himself but a struggle before finding out isn't a bad idea as well thx

yes, i bs'ed it and did it on the spot (thats why my second one took so long because my internet disconnected while i was writing it all on YCM and i had to start all over XD) so i guess i need to specify more next time.

lol'd

i must be thinking the wrong military oh well next time

[hereh]

omg... .-. im not really into guns and shooting...and 22 26 hike =/ what ever those ranks...oh yea ranks .-. ...bleh DX...it was kinda interesting i suppose >_> for someone who likes that kind of stuff...i give it a 6/10 .... .-.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='Hereh'sMoa!' timestamp='1297653833' post='5007870']
omg... .-. im not really into guns and shooting...and 22 26 hike =/ what ever those ranks...oh yea ranks .-. ...bleh DX...it was kinda interesting i suppose >_> for someone who likes that kind of stuff...i give it a 6/10 .... .-.
[/quote]

lol i can tell maybe ill do a much more you fitted story next time... like when haloween comes by i wanted to post up an old one that i like