.Starrk Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 These chapters wont be too long. So, updated regularly. [spoiler=Setting] 1955, New York City [/spoiler] [spoiler=Prologue: Early Morning Rush] The phone began to shake violently, as if it was in some sort of cartoon. Jack barely opened his fatigued, and heavy eyes, attempting to grab the phone without looking. Missing several times, he decided to look over at the phone, and correctly pick it up. "What is it." Jack lowly said in a dull voice to the phone. "I have a guy you need to take out." The voice on the phone replied. "I'll be right over. Give me a sec to get my s*** together." "Hurry up. I aint got all day." The dial tone rang throughout the phone. Jack put the phone back in its thick holder. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed. Placing his elbows on his thighs, he rubbed his face and began to lowly groan. He opened his closet, getting his Obsidian colored leather Jacket and Black hat. Yawning, he turned off the light, then headed to the kitchen. Getting out some cereal, he grabbed a handfull of it, and shoved it down his gullet. He placed the box back on the table spilling several pieces. He crossed off yesterday's date on his calendar, then went for the door. [i]Lord keep me alive long enough so that I can home and drink a beer.[/i] He thought. He grasped the very cold door handle, and the door easily opened without any strength behind it. The cool air rushed through the house like the smell of a well cooked meal. It was a very cold day for early Fall, the leaves just began to turn a golden brown, amber red, and a sunflower yellow. There was a slight dusting of snow on the ground, being tossed around like a ball, whispering in the road as cars pass. [s]Nothing like a good day at work in the snow.[/s] He thought. [/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 1] The wind softly swung the door back into place. Jack continued on through his sheltered front porch. He headed down the sidewalk, where next to his house, was his car, a new 1955 Thunderbird. It was a sleek crimson color, giving it a very glimmer look. The engine roared and purred as the racer was started up. The tires beneath screeched just a tad, making a high pitched squeal. Jack fixed his hat, and was off. He passed upper Manhattan, passing through several neighborhoods. People were getting shoe shines as Jack passed. Jack had also seen a fight break out between a cab driver and his customer. The police weren't very present on the streets, making it easier for criminals to get away with crimes. He turned onto 43rd street, just about ten blocks from his destination. The commuter train above head had just passed, giving a small rumble to the streets. Jack had finally arrived in Midtown. He turned right into a small neighborhood circle, comprising of 4 houses. Driving slowly for the dull maroon colored house, he removed his hat, and put it on his lap. The car turned of with a sudden shut down sound. Getting out of the car, Jack popped his back and neck and began to stretch. He walked for the clashing colored green door, and knocked three times with two fingers. He kept his fingers up at the door, and looked down at the porch, awaiting for the door to open. A dark brown haired woman opened the door. "Jackie!" She said with excitement. "Hey there Donna, how've ya been?" Jack asked. "Oh fine dear," Donna said, giving Jack to small kisses on his cheeks "the boys are downstairs." "Thank you Mrs. Ranetti." "It's Donna." Donna winked. "Ok Mrs-......Donna." Jack smiled. Jack opened a fairly beaten down door found next to the kitchen. The light switch to his left was already switched on, giving the descent directioned gradient staircase a dull orange light. The stairs creaked as Jacked "hopped" down them. The view of the basement was a dim room, with a large light over the table, with several men engaged in conversation. "Ah! Look who finally showed up!" A large man on the right said. "Haha, very funny." Jack snorted. "Si'down Jack. We have business to take care of." The farthest man said. "What do ya need?" Jack said. "We got a man intercepting our shipment of weapons, and stealing them. All you have to do, is take him out." The man on the right said. "Okay, easy." Jack put forth. "Ah-ah-ah. Not so fast. This guy is protected 24/7. He has guards all around him wherever he goes." The farthest man said. "So, how am I supposed to take him out if he's protected all the time?" "I believe I have the solution to your dilemma." The farthest man said. The man that sat the farthest away from Jack stood up, and headed to a room behind him. The group heard the rustling of a few boxes, when the man appeared again, with a long rectangle shaped box in hand. "What is this?" Jack inquired. The man holding the box opened it slowly, and carefully. Inside, was a rifle. "Jack, I give you, the Springfield. It is a rifle used for snipin'. It has a scope, but it has a fuckload of recoil. It was used to shoot them Nazi's back in Germany." The rifle's barrel was black, but the handle, and the casing over the barrel was a sanded and finished wood. "The guy's in upper manhattan tryin' to steal our s*** as we speak. Get to the shipping yard, and take the f***er out. Got it?" said the man sitting on the left. "On my way." Jack said, excitedly. [/spoiler] Moar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Greatness Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 FIRST TO POST. Anyways so far I see this has potential.... the only thing I'm waiting for is how the action will be like or these missions he goes on. Add to the prologue I bit and I'll make my decision from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoko Kurama Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 I. Want. To. Read. Moar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Starrk Posted January 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 Thank you for the positive feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoko Kurama Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 YES. Chapter one was excellent, and I am left wanting Moar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Not a huge amount of description going on and find some of the similies/discriptions a bit wierd. As for the actual content, although thin on the ground at the moment, could be an entertaining read. Could... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Agree with Bahamut. You paint the scenery well, but we don't know what Jack looks like apart from his clothes >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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