Yu-Gi-Oh! Armageddon (PG13) - Finished

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Woo, epic review is epic. I'm not having a go at you for not commenting, you have done loads already.

 

I have been keeping up, but just had little time available to sit down and write something constructive. I... will say that the ending was a little iffy. I mean, they conveniently come across the information needed to reach Demon (which I can accept because of deus-ex-machina intervention). Melanc's fight with Seishin seemed a little forced, although the background was nice. I mean, Seishin is adamant about not letting them pass, but the moment he wins he suddenly has an epiphany about the world being in danger and lets them through. Again, very convenient that he came to the realization at that specific time. And I won't excuse it with 'he might have realized it earlier and just wanted to conclude the duel', because it was obviously a matter of utmost urgency. So yeah, that wasn't my favorite chapter, although the decks and strategies used were quite good, so I was very satisfied with the duel itself - it was the context that miffed me.

 

Yeah I'll accept that was all a bit 'oh wasn't that convenient', fair enough. I really wanted to get Mel in a duel somewhere, and thought him putting a trial upon himself might be the best way about it. Maybe this could have been handled better by doing what you refer to earlier, and have him to defeat some sort of guard at Glamisery.

 

And then... Barakus stays behind, for... no apparent reason, I mean he didn't do anything of importance whatsoever, so I was thinking he'd get a part in the actual confrontation, but he... simply chickened out at the last moment. Yeah, that was an almost entirely useless plot thread. I already know you're going to say that he's going to play a role in the future. But I, the reader, just had him tag along with the group for several chapters, and with this I was given to understand that his inclusion would have some underlying significance in the end. And instead he just... gets left behind just when things are looking like he can play a part. That was a massive misstep.

 

Barakus has led the group halfway across the Empire with his knowledge passed on from Vardus, hardly nothing.

 

I know his exit was poor. I really didn't want him at the castle, but couldn't get rid of him before I did. Hung myself there.

 

Not saying anything about anyones future involvement at this point.

 

Then we reach the last two chapters. Right here I only have one thing to say... anti-climax. I do not know why you felt inclined to have Juruo 'win' the duel before intervention came. You really shot down Demon's character with this. You made him look way too weak in this duel, especially relying on unfair advantages for the game, not to mention the ending. Also, the whole invasion theme was too short. Juruo just barged into Demon directly. The others basically didn't even do anything. I won't comment much on Erin being a traitor. I had seen it coming, though I was hoping you wouldn't go for that, because honestly, it was quite predictable. Not saying it wasn't a nice touch, but it was rather disappointing. And we didn't get any exposition on the subject. It was like 'lol I'm a traitor k'. But it does give the Erin / Juruo relationship a bit more of an essence. I'm not saying that I particularly disliked the part, but it was one of the things I felt was not very needed there. I was generally hoping that you'd take your time with the part. Throw in some more adventures in the journey, and certainly more exposition on the characters during the invasion, and everyone should have gotten a duel there. In my view you should have given this part much more time. Because right now we already knew from the beginning that Juruo was going to end up failing, because of complete lack of setup. If you had given sufficient background to the part where they attack the castle, and made it look more important, the outcome wouldn't have felt so forced and predictable. Generally, I feel it would have been better if you used those two chapters for something else, then handled the whole attack in the next arc.

 

Bugger. Gutted, especially as this is now the second character I've destroyed in six chapters. But I accept your view.

 

I know how the duel ending looked, and how it's made Demon look, I was wrestling with it for ages. There is a reason, one that isn't that hidden. I know that sounds like I'm making excuses, sorry, but there is more significance can be taken from Juruo choosing not to win than being flat out steamrolled.

 

And before you say you want to finish the story some time, I will say that a lot of what you have planned for the future, because I can already work out a large part, could instead fit in this part, not really increasing the overall volume of the story, while giving it a more solid feel.

 

Feel free to PM me guesses if you so wish, I'd be interested.

 

I will summarize the pros and cons of the last three chapters, since they were generally along the same lines:

 

+ Really high quality duel writing

+ Nice portrayal of Eternia, and generally nice characterizations, especially with Sabin and Melanc, and Erin deserves a mention

+ Erin / Juruo has substance now, I will applaud you for how you handled this part

 

- Things tended to work out with very convenient timing

- Barakus just vanished anti-climactically

- Juruo got all the action, and pretty much trainwrecked Demon, much unneeded downpowering there especially since Juruo was going to lose anyway

- Predictable ending to the duel

- Unnecessary rush of the invasion

 

I must regretfully announce the final verdict as negative for this part. It's a particular shame because it wasn't due to bad writing, bad storytelling, or bad ideas. Just a bit of bad planning, a bit of rushing, and a bit of you wanting to fit in some tropes in the story, which isn't necessarily a bad idea, but it felt unnatural here. Don't be discouraged, though, you still did very well, and I'm sure that when you unfold things in your own way they will be as good as I was expecting. But still, it is important to keep what I said in mind, especially about rushing and giving characters their appropriate time to shine.

 

Thanks for the detailed review, appreciate it and will try to improve from it.

 

(Don't understand what you mean by tropes though, embarrassingly).

[Fusion X. Denver]

Hey Matt, I just finished reading chapter 30.

Man, I regret not reading this fic since you announced it, it's really good!

I'll admit I was kinda eh at the beginning, but soon after, I really got into the story.

As for the last chapter, I actually didn't see Erin's betrayal coming, that might just be because I'm bad at predicting tropes or cliche storylines, but I enjoyed it regardless.

And in my honest opinion, it's good to use come cliches here and there in a story (maybe that's because I was forced to write a 4 page paper on why cliches are a good thing, little biased).

But I digress, just wanted to say this is an awesome story and you've got a new reader :)

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Wohoo new reader, the advertising works! And someone actually comments as well.

 

Hey Matt, I just finished reading chapter 30.

Man, I regret not reading this fic since you announced it, it's really good!

I'll admit I was kinda eh at the beginning, but soon after, I really got into the story.

As for the last chapter, I actually didn't see Erin's betrayal coming, that might just be because I'm bad at predicting tropes or cliche storylines, but I enjoyed it regardless.

And in my honest opinion, it's good to use come cliches here and there in a story (maybe that's because I was forced to write a 4 page paper on why cliches are a good thing, little biased).

But I digress, just wanted to say this is an awesome story and you've got a new reader :)

 

You read this all in one go?

 

Yeah, I've had most people say it didn't really pick up until chapter 4, which is when the first duel is. Not sure if those two points are related or not. Tried to make the first two chapters as actiony/dramatic as possible but missed it somehow, not quite sure why but thanks for sticking with it.

 

With the secret part, stuff happens. I wanted to hint at it so it wouldn't be so out of the blue it looked a random whim, but maybe overly so and gave it away. Not the last time it will ever be done I imagine. :) Glad it was a shock for some.

 

Thanks for the honest review, appreciate it when people take the time to comment.

 

Character Bios - Arc Two

 

Primary Characters

 

[spoiler=Juruo Daisuke]

Male, 16, Resistance Member

 

Tall and skinny, pale skin, messy spiked black hair and bright green eyes.

 

A working child who grew up in the capital city with his mother, after his father was executed for crimes against the Empire. Juruo’s world was turned upside down by a series of chance meetings and foretold destinies, that he was chosen by a higher power to save both the human and duel spirit worlds. Realizing his chance to build a better life for everyone he knew, Juruo embraced the challenge and, alongside his friend Hikari, began his fight against the Empire.

 

This destiny quickly turned into a curse. In the Resistance, Juruo was forced to fight for his life, having to end others in the process, something he was forced to come to terms with in a duel against Carla. He also had to learn to control a suppressed anger when faced by Gear, the man who had captured his father. Despite every loss and adversary, Juruo soldiered on alongside his friends, haunted by his new nightmares of Demon, and guided by a new voice in the back of his head. He continued his destined path until he faced Demon, where he was betrayed by Erin, the woman he thought loved him. Despite the voice telling him to finish Demon, he couldn’t do it, and threw the match to save Sabin and Hikari.

 

Juruo uses a Dragunity deck that focuses on the combined power of dragons and winged warriors to join together for powerful Synchro summons. The deck also includes various support for both monster types, and both offensive and defensive spells and traps.

 

[spoiler=Deck 2 - Dragons Outrage]

Monsters:

-Dragunity Aklys,

-Dragunity Brandistock,

-Dragunity Corsesca,

-Dragunity Darkspear,

-Dragunity Javelin,

-Dragunity Partisan,

-Dragunity Phalanx,

-Dragunity Pilum,

-Dragunity Arms Mystletainn,

-Dragunity Angusticlavii,

-Dragunity Dux,

-Dragunity Legionnaire,

-Dragunity Militum,

-Dragunity Primus,

-Simorgh Bird of Divinity*,

-Alector, Soverign of Birds,

-Shield Wing,

-Decoy Dragon,

-Totem Dragon,

-Masked Dragon,

-Handcuffs Dragon,

-Twin Headed Behemoth

 

Spells:

-Dragon Ravine,

-Dragon Mastery,

-Cards of Consonance,

-Swords of Revealing Light,

-Stamping Destruction,

-Super Rejuvenation,

-Pot of Duality,

-Dragon Heart,

-Dragon Treasure,

-Emergency Provisions,

-Tribute Doll,

-Dark Piercing Light

 

Traps:

-Negate Attack,

-Icarus Attack,

-Burst Breath,

-Graceful Revival,

-Windstorm of Etaqua,

-Urgent Tuning,

-Wotan’s Judgement,

-Hallowed Life Barrier

 

Extra Deck:

-Dragunity Knight Gae Bulg,

-Dragunity Knight Gae Dearg,

-Dragunity Knight Vajrayana,

-Dragunity Knight Trident,

-Dragunity Knight Barcha

 

Record: Sabin (win), Osborn (win), Alpha & Omega (tag duel with Hikari, win), Carla (win), Gear (no contest), Demon (loss)

 

*Traded for Dragunity Arms Laevatein with Aerial Skylark.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Hikari Shinobu]

Female, 16, Resistance Member

 

Slim body that is heavily scarred. Girl next door looks, with long brown hair and brown eyes.

 

Hikari is a deeply scarred warrior, metaphorically and literally. During her spell in the palace dungeons, the guards went to extreme limits to obtain information and punish her, leaving her body a broken wreck. Now whenever she is touched, her sensitive body is filled with pain.

 

Despite this she has carried on her resistance, as she fights to free the people she has seen made to suffer by the rule of the Empire. She is kind and selfless, and determined to succeed in her fight alongside her duel spirit, Rinyan. Hikari seemed to be developing feelings for Juruo, but they were crushed when she realised Erin had beaten her to him. Hikari travelled with the party to Demon’s stronghold, where she and the others were captured, and used as leverage against Juruo.

 

Hikari uses a deck she refers to as the Fablesworn, which combines the strength of two light based archtypes. The Lightsworn rely on straight forward beat down tactics and quickly mill cards from the deck to the graveyard, and the Fabled can special summon themselves and each other through being discarded from the hand, setting up for Synchro summons.

 

[spoiler=Deck 2 - Fabled Light]

Monsters:

-Aurkus Lightsworn Druid,

-Celestia Lightsworn Angel,

-Ehren Lightsworn Monk,

-Garoth Lightsworn Warrior,

-Jain Lightsworn Paladin,

-Lumina Lightsworn Summoner,

-Lyla Lightsworn Sorceress,

-Rinyan Lightsworn Rogue,

-Wulf Lightsworn Beast,

-Fabled Ashenveil,

-Fabled Beast Cerburrel,

-Fabled Krus,

-Fabled Lurrie,

-Fabled Raven,

-Fabled Soulkius,

-Necro Gardna,

-Trust Guardian,

-Tuningware,

-Honest

 

Spells:

-Charge of the Light Brigade,

-Lightsworn Sabre,

-Pot of Avarice,

-Solar Recharge,

-Lightwave Tuning,

-Soul of the Pure

 

Traps:

-Lightsworn Barrier,

-Glorious Illusion,

-Threatening Roar,

-Defence Draw,

-Spellbinding Circle,

-Synchro Spirits,

-Synchro Strike,

-Pikeru’s Circle of Enchantment

 

Extra Deck:

-Ancient Sacred Wyvern,

-Fabled Leviathan,

-Fabled Valkyrus,

-Fabled Ragin

 

Record: Alpha & Omega (tag duel with Juruo, win), Dark Knight (win)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Sabin Krieger]

Male, 16, Resistance Member

Stockier than Juruo, tanned skin. Silver swoop style hair and green eyes.

 

Once a misguided and troublesome youth, Sabin has slowly found direction and purpose since his trip to the spirit world. After rescuing the remaining Resistance members from the palace and aiding their escape on the duel runners, Sabin continued with the resistance as instructed by Inpachi.

 

Sabin can still be detached and quick-tempered, but his focus on stopping Demon at any cost has often driven the party forward. He acts like a bit of a loner, making it hard for his allies to always understand what is on his mind at times. This caused a lot of tension when he refused to tell the group how he obtained one of the sacred beast cards. In the end it turned out to be a ‘gift’ from Hirz, his old partner who was trying to lure him back to his past life of misdeeds. Sabin faced his past, and defeated Hirz in a duel. Refocused, he continued with the party, until he was captured at Glamisery Castle.

 

Sabin uses a range of machines known as the Allies of Justice, an anti light deck. This deck also incorporates several methods of attack boosting and breaking through defences, to push home the advantage.

 

[spoiler=Deck 2 - Ally of Justice]

Monsters:

-Ally of Justice Garadholg,

-Ally of Justice Nullifier,

-Ally of Justice Quarantine,

-Ally of Justice Omni-Weapon,

-Ally of Justice Cycle Reader,

-Ally of Justice Cyclone Creator,

-Ally of Justice Unknown Crusher,

-Ally of Justice Searcher,

-Black Salvo,

-Oilman,

-Jinzo,

-Battle Fader,

-Attack Gainer

 

Spells:

-Earthquake,

-Machine Conversion Factory,

-Limiter Removal,

-Fires of Doomsday,

-Reasoning,

-Shield Crash

 

Traps:

-Damage Condenser,

-Damage Polarizer,

-Covering Fire,

-Reanimation Wave,

-Power Frame,

-Roll Out!,

-Revenge Return,

-Solemn Judgement

 

Extra Deck:

-Ally of Justice Catastor,

-Ally of Justice Light Gazer,

-Ally of Justice Field Marshall,

-Ally of Justice Decisive Cannon

 

Record: Juruo (loss), Vardus (loss), Inpachi (win), Hirz (win)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Erin Kazoku]

Female, 18, Resistance General

 

Tall, slim body, made more intimidating by her bulky cloak. Long blue hair and pale white skin.

 

As the only surviving general from the raid on the palace, Erin was viewed and respected by the others as the voice of reason and order; someone who always knows where to go or what to do. Her stern and often fierce personality meant she had few friends, but along the journey, Erin grew more and more attached to Juruo, especially after he saved her brother’s life in Sennen’Yama. Finally she let down the walls around her heart, and slept with him.

 

Thus her betrayal was all the harder to take. Just as Juruo was about to beat Demon, she interrupted, holding Sabin and Hikari hostage unless Juruo cancelled his attack, giving Demon the time to activate his doomsday device and cast it through the portal opened by their duel. Not only this, she admitted that she was responsible for the Resistance’s fall at the palace of Sen’nenki, leading to the doom of most of its members. Her reasons for betrayal are currently unknown.

 

Erin uses an ice deck that reflects her personality; very defensive and protective, until the time is right to unleash the big monsters, and the full extent of her wrath.

 

[spoiler=Deck - Heart of Ice]

Monsters:

-Ice Master,

-Pilgrim of the Ice Barrier,

-Cryomancer of the Ice Barrier,

-Dewdark of the Ice Barrier,

-Defender of the Ice Barrier,

-Spellbreaker of the Ice Barrier,

-Royal Knight of the Ice Barrier,

-Blizzed, Defender of the Ice Barrier

 

Spells:

-Cold Wave,

-Magic Triangle of Ice Barrier,

-Ice Mirror,

-Ice Age Panic,

-Moray of Greed

 

Traps:

-Damage Polarizer,

-Frozen Soul

 

Extra Deck:

-Brionac, Dragon of the Ice Barrier,

-Gungnir, Dragon of the Ice Barrier

 

Record: Raesir (loss)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Melanc Kazoku]

Male, 10, Resistance Member

 

Short, anime spiky blue hair

 

Melanc is the little brother of Erin. Having lost both of their parents to the Empire, the siblings joined the Resistance, where Erin quickly became a high ranking general, and Mel was also a respected member and duelist, and well liked for his cheery and good natured disposition.

 

Throughout their journey, Melanc gradually became more quiet and despondent. This was revealed to be down to feeling like ‘a deadweight’ as he put it; that he was being more of a hindrance than a help to the team. In an effort to prove himself, Mel challenged Seishin to earn the group passage through the Spirit Gate. Despite his loss, Mel duelled well enough to see the group through.

 

Mel uses a Toon deck, a sub-type of monsters that are the animated reflection of other duel monsters. Their strategy is being able to special summon boss monsters easily and to attack an opponent directly. Mel was named after the voice actor Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes.

 

[spoiler=Deck - Toon It Up]

Monsters:

-Blue Eyes Toon Dragon,

-Toon Summoned Skull,

-Toon Dark Magician Girl,

-Toon Mermaid,

-Toon Masked Sorcerer,

-Kaiser Sea Horse,

-Swift Scarecrow

 

Spells:

-Toon World,

-Emergency Provisions,

-Pot of Avarice,

-Soul Exchange,

-Toon Kingdom,

-Comic Hand

 

Traps:

-Toon Defence

 

Record: Seishin (loss)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Barakus Jackson]

Male, 39, Ironsmith

 

Giant dark skinned man, with broad muscles from life of working in forge. Scruffy hair and beard.

 

The oldest of the three Jackson brothers, Barakus first met the party in an abandoned smelter in Sennen’Yama, where he was going to raid for scrap materials. Discovering their connection to his little brother Vardus, he was devastated to hear about his death, and the actions of Demon. Feeling he owed it to his deceased brother, and responsible for the corrupted Dravir, Barakus helped the group across the Empire. An intimidating but gentle person, he can be simple at times, but his soul is pure. Barakus works as an ironsmith, is married to Freya, and has a daughter, whom he left the party to return to.

 

 

[spoiler=Demon]

Male, 35, Advisor to the Emperor

 

Gaunt, skeletal face, with blank eyes and spiky black hair. Wears a black leather coat.

 

The dark menace behind the Empire, his real name is Dravir, and he is the half-brother of Barakus and Vardus Jackson, conceived after their mother was possessed by a dark sorcerer. Dravir was sadistic and violent as a child, and had to be sent away to a special school in the city. After leaving the school, Dravir travelled to places that affected his already fragile mind and body, and met his real father.

 

Since taking the title of Demon six years ago, he has been working behind the scenes at the Royal Palace as well as being the leader of his own dark organisation. Dravir has a sharp mind, and is very technically gifted. According to his in-duel talk with Juruo, he can only see and feel the negatives in the world, suffering from some constant horror. Thus he pursues an ambition to reach Utopia, a place where such suffering cannot exist, and can only be reached by tearing through reality, by dying in the inferno of two worlds being destroyed, and reborn into paradise. This plan was put into full force by obtaining the three sacred beasts and channelling their power through a doomsday device, into his Final Countdown card, and throwing it into the void. Thus the countdown to the end, and total annihilation, has begun.

 

Demon uses a deck most notable for the ritual support for his key card, Demise, as well as various other fiends, and a more spell based defence rather than trap based. Demon’s style is methodical and heavily attack focused, preferring to replenish life points with healing cards rather than prevent damage, and he uses cards that involve heavy life point costs. He seems to take sick pleasure from the pain.

 

[spoiler=Deck 2 - Evil Ritual]

Monsters:

-Demise King of Armageddon,

-Dark Jeroid,

-Newdoria,

-Giant Germ,

-Relinquished,

-Djinn Cursechanter of Rituals,

-Djinn Releaser of Rituals,

-Djinn Disserere of Rituals,

-Senju of the Thousand Hands,

-Ritual Raven,

-Stygian Security,

-Dark Tinker

 

Spells:

-End of the World,

-Spell Absorption,

-The Dark Door,

-Gold Sarcophagus,

-Allure of Darkness,

-One for One,

-Contract with the Abyss,

-Final Countdown

 

Traps:

-Altar for Tribute,

-Call of the Haunted,

-Ominous Fortunetelling,

-Cursed Prison,

-Hate Buster

 

Extra Deck:

-Stygian Sergeants,

-Dark Highlander

 

Record: Vardus (win), Juruo (win)

 

 

 

Secondary Characters

 

[spoiler=Emperor Nero VIII]

Male, 70, Emperor of Sen’nenki and the surrounding kingdom

 

Physically fit despite age, slick silver hair and beard. See Royal Cards like Imperial Order

 

Nero is visiting the city of Sennen’Yama, after being forewarned of the planned Resistance assault on the palace by Demon. Celebrating the 50th year of his reign as emperor, Nero’s rule continues in its iron fisted style, supported by Demon, who seems to have promised him eternal rule of some sort. Originally the party were fighting to overthrow Nero, but now the Empire has been made a secondary concern compared to preventing Demon from bringing the apocalypse.

 

 

[spoiler=The Dark Knight]

Male, 21, Head of the Royal Guard

 

Blonde hair in ponytail, scar on cheek. Wears heavy black armour and plumed helmet, and purple cape.

 

The former head of the royal guard, Osborn Dangergores, was once the loyal servant of the Empire and its people. During his recovery after his loss to Juruo, he was attacked by Demon, and transformed into the Dark Knight. Demon gave his new soldier one objective: track down the remaining members of the Resistance and dispose of them. However before leaving the palace, Osborn stumbled upon the sacred beast card of Uria, and something about it made him take it.

 

He manipulated Carla as his pawn to try to defeat Juruo, but after that plan failed, he attacked the party himself, and duelled Hikari. In his dark mania, Osborn revelled in the torturing of Hikari that left her permanently damaged. She defeated him, and with Demon’s influence broken, he died, giving Juruo the card, and relieved to be free from Demons control.

 

Osborn previously used an Arcana Knight Joker deck, but after his transformation, it was discarded and replaced by a deck that reflected his change, a ‘Dark Counterpart’ deck, an unofficial archtype made of the dark incarnations of other duel monsters, that revolve around removing cards from the graveyard.

 

[spoiler=Deck 2 - Dark Knight]

Monsters:

-Dark Armed Dragon,

-Dark Crusader,

-Dark Elf,

-Dark Grepher,

-Dark Valkyria,

-Dark Resonator,

-Destiny Hero Malicious,

-Doomsday Horror,

-Rainbow Dark Dragon

 

Spells:

-Beginning of the End,

-Offerings to the Doomed,

-Nightmare Steelcage*

 

Traps:

-Hidden Soldiers,

-Needle Ceiling,

-Slip of Fortune,

-Altar for Tribute

 

Extra Deck:

-Dark Diviner

 

Record: Juruo (loss), Hikari (loss)

 

*Card used to trap Hikari and prevent outside interference, and enhance battle damage to duelists

 

 

 

[spoiler=Raesir Eld]

Male, 17, Demon’s associate

 

Stocky body with swirling blue tattoos on arms and face. Wild fire red hair, held up by a bandana.

 

Raesir works alongside Demon, supporting him in his goals to obtain the sacred beast cards and bring forth Armageddon.

 

Shielded by the Empire, he hunted down duelists that could jeopardise Demon’s plans. Raesir encountered the group in Sennen’Yama, where he held Mel hostage as leverage against Erin to get a sacred beast card. Not as much of his past is known as Gear’s, but what can be seen from his character is his obsession with fire, as displayed by his strange tattoos, choice of speech, and his explosive playing style.

 

Raesir has a cocky and often reckless style of duelling. He uses the Flamvell archtype, which focus on boosting each other’s attack and inflicting direct ‘burn’ damage to his opponents, as well as attacking. His name is Icelandic in origin, translating roughly as ‘fire starter’.

 

[spoiler=Deck - Demon Fire Burn]

Monsters:

-Flamvell Archer,

-Flamvell Baby,

-Flamvell Commando,

-Flamvell Dragnov,

-Flamvell Firedog,

-Flamvell Grunika

 

Spells:

-Magical Stone Excavation,

-Rekindling,

-Soul of Fire

 

Traps:

-Level Retuner,

-Bottomless Trap Hole,

-Flamvell Counter

 

Extra Deck:

-Flamvell Uruquizas

 

Record: Erin (win)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Gear Roberts]

Male, 22, Demon’s associate

 

Lanky body half reconstructed with robotics, right arm is mechanical, has a LSU implanted in chest.

 

Gear works alongside Demon, supporting him in his goals to obtain the sacred beast cards and bring forth Armageddon.

 

Formerly the rising star of turbo duelling, Gear suffered a horrific crash in a championship final against Juruo’s father. It took much effort and funding to save his life, including the grafting of a mechanical arm and a life support unit to keep his heart beating, but Gear views it as a half-life, as he could not turbo duel professionally again. Bitter, twisted, and cold, Gear was found by Demon, and offered a chance of escape and revenge. A fire was reignited in Gear; driven by hate, he was delighted to accept. Shielded by the Empire, he hunted down duelists that could jeopardise Demon’s plans, taking a personal aim at Juruo’s father, who he blamed for the crash.

 

Gear baited Juruo into a turbo duel, giving himself a huge advantage against an unprepared opponent. This match ended without a definite result, after he forced his opponent to crash. Gear uses the Karakuri archtype, a series of mechanical puppets which are hard to inflict damage to.

 

[spoiler=Deck - High Gear]

Monsters:

-Karakuri Merchant Inashichi,

-Karakuri Bushi Muzan,

-Karakuri Soldier Nisamu,

-Karakuri Ninja Nanashick,

-Karakuri Strategist Nishipashi,

-Karakuri Watchdog Saizan

 

Speed Spells:

-Angel Baton,

-High Speed Crash,

-Overboost

 

Traps:

-Call of the Haunted,

-Discord,

-Karakuri Trick House

 

Extra Deck:

-Karakuri Shogun Burei

 

Record: Juruo (no contest)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Vardus Jackson]

Male, 34, Leader of the Resistance

 

Tall, dark skinned man. Has a scarred face spoiling his pristine appearance.

 

The youngest of the three Jackson brothers, Vardus excelled academically and left his family’s quiet village for the city, where he studied world history. Vardus also travelled the world, experiencing many adventures. All this was prior to the war, and the fallout from it. Against the advice of his brother, Vardus formed his Resistance movement to fight the Empire. He meant an untimely end during an assault on the heart of the Empire, but his memory, and his tales told to Barakus, continues to spur the remaining resistance on. Vardus used a Clear World deck, along with the Huge Revolution cards.

 

 

[spoiler=Freya Akinsa-Jackson]

Female, 37, Cook

 

Plump figure, wears her brown hair up

 

Wife of Barakus Jackson, married after they had been courting since childhood. Freya is a kind and caring woman, but can be quite forceful when she wants to be. She is a skilful cook by trade, and also a qualified first aider. After hearing his explanation of events, she supports her husband’s decision to aid the party in their fight against his half-brother.

 

 

[spoiler=Yuma Akinsa-Jackson]

Female, 17, Student

 

Beautiful, slim and tanned body, dark brown eyes, long black hair, wears black dress and accessories.

 

Daughter of Barakus and Freya, Yuma seems to have some mysterious power that lets her communicate with ‘spirits’, that told her of Vardus’ death long before her father found out. She appears a very secretive and secluded girl, she may possibly feel like an outcast given her powers, or maybe it’s just part of being a teenager. According to Barakus, Demon tried to recruit her into his group, but she fought hard in refusal until he gave up. Her time may soon come...

 

 

Minor Characters

 

[spoiler=Carla Hope]

Female, 12, Student

 

Small, tanned girl with grey eyes, freckles and black hair in two braided ponytails.

 

A young girl whose world was destroyed when informed of the death of her father, a member of the royal guard, during the Resistance’s raid on the palace. While grieving, the Dark Knight Osborn came before her and offered her the chance to get revenge on the one responsible, giving her a deck and duel shield, which exploited her despair and rage. Juruo defeated Carla, and in the process freed her from the cursed duel shield. Erin then took the unconscious Carla to a medical facility in a nearby village.

 

[spoiler=Deck - Dragonslayer]

Monsters:

-Dark Magician,

-Disciple of Forbidden Spell,

-Hunter with Seven Weapons,

-Gigantes,

-Victoria,

-Buster Blader,

-Dragon Seeker,

-Exarion Universe

 

Spells:

-Sword of Dragon’s Soul,

-Jewel Sword,

-Polymerization,

-Dark Magic Curtain

 

Traps:

-Shadow Spell,

-Defence Draw,

-Dragon Capture Jar

 

Extra Deck:

-Seven Swords Warrior,

-Dark Paladin

 

Record: Juruo (loss)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Prens Hirsizlar]

Male, 19, Thief

 

Lanky and thin, long greasy hair and bloodshot black eyes, ripped jeans and black shirt.

 

More commonly referred to by the nickname ‘Hirz’, little is known about him, other than of his association with Sabin. When Sabin was being thrown out of every orphanage in Sen’nenki, Hirz took him in and exposed him to the dark and seedy underbelly of the slums. Hirz followed the party across the Empire, trying to lure Sabin back into his control by stealing the sacred beast cards, before resorting to more forceful methods. Hirz’s strategy is based around Genex Controller, and its Synchro monsters.

 

[spoiler=Deck - Prince of Thieves]

Monsters:

-Genex Controller,

-Genex Furnace,

-Genex Undine,

-Genex Blastfan,

-Genex Gaia,

-Genex Searcher

 

Spells:

-Synchro Blast Wave,

-Machine Assembly Line,

-Swing of Memories,

-Secret Passage to Treasures

 

Traps:

-Reckless Greed,

-Synchro Deflector,

-Synchro Strike,

-Alchemy Cycle

 

Extra Deck:

-Thermal Genex,

-Hydro Genex,

-Windmill Genex,

-Geo Genex

 

Record: Sabin (loss)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Seishin]

Male, Age unknown, Guardian of the Spirit Gate

 

A humanoid like being with light violet skin covered in symbolic writing, long red hair, and white eyes. Has a third, darker eye. Wears only a white tunic, and several items of gold jewellery.

 

A spiritual being claiming to be hundreds of years old, Seishin has protected the Spirit Gate from trespassers. The gateway is a definitive link between the two worlds, and can also be used to teleport people to any location in their own world. He refused the group passage, until Melanc stood up to him and challenged his long undefeated streak. Although Mel lost to him, Seishin admired his courage and fighting tenacity, and realised the danger they were trying to avert, so helped them get to Demon’s fortress.

 

Seishin uses a spirit deck, a sub-type of mythical beings that have powerful effects, which come at the price of being unable to remain on the field if unsupported. Seishin has a range of support cards that reverse this handicap. He refers to his monsters by their original, OCG names.

 

[spoiler=Deck - Spiritual Guardian]

Monsters:

-Hino-Kagu-Tsuchi,

-Asura,

-Otohime,

-Gundari,

-Evil Spirit of Dust,

-Flame Spirit Ifrit,

-Yamato-no-Kami

 

Spells:

-Mirror of Yata,

-Creature Swap,

-Next World,

-Mystical Space Typhoon,

-Tailor of the Fickle,

-Trade In

 

Traps:

-Legacy of Yata-Garasu,

-The Golden Apples

 

Record: Melanc (win)

 

 

 

[spoiler=Governor Pallas]

Male, 43, Governor of the city of Sennen’Yama

 

Short and fat man, with a bald head, double chin, and thick black handlebar moustache

 

Shortly after the war between the two nations, Pallas was influential in agreeing a peace agreement with the Empire’s defeated enemies. Shortly afterwards, the governor of the industrial heart of the Empire - Sennen’Yama - met with Nero. The governor mysteriously died a few days after this meeting, and Pallas succeeded him. Described as a yes-man to the Emperor, and cruel to his opponents, this pompous man proudly displayed his sacred beast card at his mansion, which was burgled by Hirz. Pallas blamed the Resistance, and raided their headquarters, seemingly capturing Luca and Tyrana.

 

 

[spoiler=Luca Vaquez]

Male, 15, One half of the Sennen’Yama Resistance

 

Athletic, dark blue eyes, blonde hair pushed forward into a strange spike style.

 

Luca is one half of the industrial capitals resistance movement. A confident thrill-seeker, he sees himself as a bit of leader, a role Tyrana is happy to let him have. Luca uses a water deck, the only known card of which being Abyss Soldier at present. He, along with his partner Tyrana, was captured by Pallas, going down fighting to help the others escape.

 

 

[spoiler=Tyrana Sauro]

Female, 15, One half of the Sennen’Yama Resistance

 

Punk look with eyebrow and ear piercings, spiky red hair with swooping fringe, and red eyes.

 

Sarcastic and sometimes short tempered, Tyrana is the technical half of Sennen’Yama’s resistance movement. She is highly skilled with machinery, and a fierce rider of a duel runner. Tyrana uses a Jurrac deck. She, along with her partner Luca, was captured by Pallas, going down fighting to help the others escape.

 

 

[spoiler=Eternia]

No known information

 

The name given to an unearthly voice that only Juruo seems able to hear, Eternia first appeared during his nightmares of Demon, reassuring him of his path. Later the voice spoke to him in his waking hours, conversing with him directly. Eternia made it clear to Juruo that he must defeat Demon, no matter what the personal cost or suffering. This may have been a premonition of Erin’s betrayal, which caused Juruo to throw the duel to save his friends. If so, Eternia may not react well to his inability to follow orders...

 

 

Also guys, couple of quick q's I would'nt mind people answering.

 

Favourite Chapter?

Favourite Duel?

Favourite Character?

Favourite Deck (if not used by character)?

 

Something to improve on? (Do NOT say nothing it's brilliantly perfect, because that's not possible)

Something that may be cool? (Won't garuntee any suggestions hear will be implimented, but may like to here suggestions on decks, characters, etc)

[Fusion X. Denver]

Wohoo new reader, the advertising works! And someone actually comments as well.

 

 

 

You read this all in one go?

 

Not all at once, took like a week? Few days maybe. My internet was out at my house for a couple days, so I took the opportunity to read on saved pages from school on my Itouch.

 

Favourite Chapter?

I don't remember anything specific, but 30 completely kept my attention, way better than listening to my Psychology teacher.

Favourite Duel?

There are a few contenders, but I'll probably say Juruo vs Gear.

Favourite Character?

Tie between Juruo and Sabin. I'm a sucker for mains and Sabin's pro.

Favourite Deck (if not used by character)?

Juruo's, because his actually helped me understand the Dragunity archetype better.

 

Something to improve on? (Do NOT say nothing it's brilliantly perfect, because that's not possible)

More time for character development? Not that you're lacking, just that sometimes I felt the focus was more on whatever situation the characters were facing rather than the characters themselves.

Something that may be cool? (Won't garuntee any suggestions hear will be implimented, but may like to here suggestions on decks, characters, etc)

Sex scene

Hikari and Mel need more duels, and I honestly think Yuma would be a nice contrast to Erin if she ended up joining.

And as a love interest for Sabin.

[Vector Nightmare]

Quick questions, quick answers:

 

Favourite Chapter: Uh. Kind of not sure about that. I am also reluctant to produce conclusive answers since my opinion on a lot of chapters changed based on future chapters, plus I feel your writing improved vastly as the series progressed, so I might view later chapters in a more favorable light, and stuff. One of my personal favorites would be when Sabin gets his Allies of Justice, though.

 

Favourite Duel: That would be Sabin vs Inpachi, based on pure duel writing. Based on general factors... I think the tag duel against Alpha and Omega left me with some winful impressions.

 

Favourite Character: Sabin, followed by Erin (even though I feel she's being squeezed in to roles she can't adequately fit, first with the love affair, then with the betrayal, which were probably the decisive factors in Sabin's favor). Juruo and Hikari are too... maincharacterish to be favorites, and Juruo is rather Sueish so...

 

Favourite Deck: Hikari's. You did what I wanted to do but didn't - mix Lightlords and Demon Roar Gods in one deck.

 

Something to improve on?: Take some focus off Juruo. Give the main cast some legitimate losses. Explore the background of your world more (you're already working it in nicely, just needs more emphasis). Take more time with individual plot lines, don't just rush it all into one big 'main plot'.

 

Something that may be cool?: Exceed Summon (I'm becoming a sucker for that). Erin vs Juruo. Erin winning. Mel vs Juruo (on the same grounds). Hikari X Sabin.

 

Profiles lookin' good as far as I saw, I'll read them thoroughly when I get the chance.

[Fusion X. Denver]

Oh yeah, that's one other good point. Try emphasizing the empire's rule more. It was done tremendously in Arc 1, in Arc 2 it wasn't as much of an overbearing presence like it was in the first arc. That might have been because they were always on the move, but even so, it didn't detract from the story, I just think it'd make things more realistic considering the story's setting.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Quick questions, quick answers:

 

Favourite Chapter: Uh. Kind of not sure about that. I am also reluctant to produce conclusive answers since my opinion on a lot of chapters changed based on future chapters, plus I feel your writing improved vastly as the series progressed, so I might view later chapters in a more favorable light, and stuff. One of my personal favorites would be when Sabin gets his Allies of Justice, though.

 

Fair comment. If you say I am noticably improving then I am happy.

 

Favourite Duel: That would be Sabin vs Inpachi, based on pure duel writing. Based on general factors... I think the tag duel against Alpha and Omega left me with some winful impressions.

 

Duel writing being the way it was written or the action/cards used (sorry dumb question)? I did like the amount of last gasp escapes I got in that one.

 

Favourite Character: Sabin, followed by Erin (even though I feel she's being squeezed in to roles she can't adequately fit, first with the love affair, then with the betrayal, which were probably the decisive factors in Sabin's favor). Juruo and Hikari are too... maincharacterish to be favorites, and Juruo is rather Sueish so...

 

Knew this anyway :lol:

 

Favourite Deck: Hikari's. You did what I wanted to do but didn't - mix Lightlords and Demon Roar Gods in one deck.

 

Something to improve on?: Take some focus off Juruo. Give the main cast some legitimate losses. Explore the background of your world more (you're already working it in nicely, just needs more emphasis). Take more time with individual plot lines, don't just rush it all into one big 'main plot'.

 

- Working on it. I think the problem here is my love for Dragunity and duel writing with them (I have shamefully considered Dragunity tattoo sleeves )

- This will happen (but I fear they may be predictable losses :( )

- Ok

- Yes, looking back it has all been 'stop Empire, stop Demon' so far, will look into some other issues

 

Something that may be cool?: Exceed Summon (I'm becoming a sucker for that). Erin vs Juruo. Erin winning. Mel vs Juruo (on the same grounds). Hikari X Sabin.

 

- I will attempt to get Exceeds in somewhere, but probably as one off duel. Have a future fic in mind I might do when, hopefully, more Exceeds are released (came up with the first character/deck for said fic at work today)

- Obvious demand followed by not so obvious one.

- .............. I'm saying nothing.

 

Profiles lookin' good as far as I saw, I'll read them thoroughly when I get the chance.

 

Ty

 

 

Oh yeah, that's one other good point. Try emphasizing the empire's rule more. It was done tremendously in Arc 1, in Arc 2 it wasn't as much of an overbearing presence like it was in the first arc. That might have been because they were always on the move, but even so, it didn't detract from the story, I just think it'd make things more realistic considering the story's setting.

 

This may have been missed you/others, but I recently announced this was going to be changed to a four-arc story instead of 3 and a little bit. Giving this part of the story more light and resolving it is the main reason for that, and will be addressed over Arc Three.

 

Regarding your answers (didn't want to quote twice), that one of the things I've enjoyed about this, discovering new cards and decks and stuff. Again the character development is something that will be looked at. Sabin is quickly becoming everyone's fav, to be honest I think myy favourite duel so far was Sabin v Hirz, although that may be because it was awful first time I wrote it and then worked out ok eventually.

 

Suggestions. Sex scene we had already lol. Agreed on sharing duels out, got the matches for arc three pencilled and they are... well let's just say that three characters duel twice, and you won't guess who they are. As for Yuma... I'm glad someone noticed her. Despite trying to keep her as under wraps as possible... we'll see with her....

[Vector Nightmare]

Fair comment. If you say I am noticably improving then I am happy.

 

I will elaborate a little on that comment. I generally break down a story into two big categories: writing and storytelling. Writing refers to the technical aspect of things, such as use of vocabulary, decent grammar, syntax, structure of sentences / paragraphs / chapters etc. Storytelling is basically anything plot-related, narration, description, character development etc. Though undoubtedly you have improved in both of these aspects, what I meant was that since you have become much better at the technical part, when I reflect on or reread those earlier chapters, I tend to detract points from them due to the difference in those things. But 'favorite' chapter should revolve more around storytelling, and of course personal preference, and that's one of the reasons why I left my answer open. Perhaps when you finish the story, I'll be able to answer this more conclusively.

 

Duel writing being the way it was written or the action/cards used (sorry dumb question)? I did like the amount of last gasp escapes I got in that one.

 

I meant generally the use of cards etc, how good the actual game was, when the situation is taken into account. If you prefer, how effectively you were able to convey the struggle between the characters through the use of dueling.

 

- Obvious demand followed by not so obvious one.

 

The not so obvious one is Erin defeating Juruo, or Juruo fighting Mel?

 

Regarding your answers (didn't want to quote twice), that one of the things I've enjoyed about this, discovering new cards and decks and stuff. Again the character development is something that will be looked at. Sabin is quickly becoming everyone's fav, to be honest I think myy favourite duel so far was Sabin v Hirz, although that may be because it was awful first time I wrote it and then worked out ok eventually.

 

Sabin vs Hirz was good, but the Genex monsters just didn't 'click' with Hirz. I think it could have easily been my favorite if Hirz had used something else, though I can't really point out myself what would be good to use. Dark Scorpions would really be a no-no so... But I guess you also needed machines for the whole framing stunt. Mhm...

 

As for Yuma... I'm glad someone noticed her. Despite trying to keep her as under wraps as possible... we'll see with her....

 

If at any point in the story, regular chapters / possible omakes / whatever, she shouts out KATTOBINGU DA, ORE!! I'll literally die laughing.

[Umbra]

Sometimes, when you find yourself with a lot of time on your hands, you search high and low for something to do. You consider going fishing, or just sit around and watch TV. But TV can only get you that far, and fishing really is a bore. For those times, you just need a good book. You look around the house, find nothing, and proceed to the only place you could find something easily accessible. The internet.

 

You soon regret that choice.

 

Realizing exactly what goes on in the fiction community of the internet, you find yourself reaching for a can of bleach every fifteen minutes, just to get those horrible images off your eyes. You wish that you had never started looking for something to read, thinking that the couch seems rather inviting. But then, you find something. A pearl among swine. Something that makes you intrigued, rather than disgusted.

 

I am here to help you find those stories. Stories that will leave you pleased with yourself after reading them, stories that deserve to be read. I will not pick them apart and criticize their spelling; I do not humiliate. Friends, brothers and sisters, today I will provide...

 

C O N S I D E R A T I O N

 

After reading through the first half of what I understand to be is a sixty-chapter story, I believe I understand enough of the material to be able to provide a thorough consideration. As others have said before me, including myself, the story starts out slow and rather... bland. This personally put me off reading the story the first time I attempted; I got to the second chapter, and decided to do something else. If I hadn't been recommended by some of YCM's most accomplished writers to give it a second try, that would have been it. Now, I'm glad I did. By the time that Chapter 4 came around, the story really picked me up and drew me in.

 

The basic story is rather cliché by Yu-Gi-Oh! standards; the Spirit World's in trouble, which means that the real world's in trouble, and vice-versa. At the same time, the story revolves around a classic "oppressive government vs. rebels" storyline, and intertwined they become interesting. The character gallery is diverse, and the interactions in the main cast are very enjoyable. By the end of the first arc, we are introduced to the main villain of the story so far; a traditional clad-in-black powerful stranger known only as Demon. Demon single-handedly bests the leader of the Resistance, causing the rest of the main cast to flee the capital.

 

From here-on, we lose some of the story dynamics we had earlier. Now, the story revolves entirely around the five remaining members of the Resistance, trying to find a trio of cards famous to Yu-Gi-Oh! fans; the Sacred Beasts of GX fame. These cards are crucial to the villain's overarching plan to bring about ARMAGEDDON, and must therefore be kept out of their hands.

 

Strangely enough, these cards are practically handed to the heroes, with one of them apparently being found in the street, one of them owned by an old enemy given to them in his dying breath, and one oddly in the possession of a former friend and employer of a member of the main cast. Either something is going on behind the scenes, working in the heroes' favor, or the story is being railroaded. It is also implied that at least one of the cards was in the possession of the Empire prior to the story, which means it was sent out into the general public for no reason.

 

One by one, our Heroes gain possession of these cards, only to lose them directly into the hands of the villains. It's okay; with the kind of security these things have, they probably would've found them anyway. Realizing that their only chance at victory now is to enter the villain's lair through an ancient teleportation gate and fight him directly, the Heroes... do so, and promptly proceed to have their proverbial asses handed to them. One of them even turns out to be a traitor, having worked for Demon all along. That might explain the massive failures that our protagonists have suffered from the start of the second arc. As the thirtieth chapter ends, the inevitable countdown to ARMAGEDDON has started.

 

Pros:

+: As I mentioned earlier, the diversity of the story's characters is one of its strongest points. On one side, we have the renegade Sabin that goes about with their mission in his own way, to the brother-sister duo of Erin and Melanc that look out for each other and seize opportunities when they can.

+: The pacing of the plot was good for most of the story. In some cases things felt a bit rushed, like the conclusion of Arc 1, but overall the story feels balanced. The conclusion of the second arc sets up tension for the third, as well as asking the reader a question: This is the halfway point of the story. How can it go on from here?

 

Cons:

-: The central flaw to Armageddon, to me, is the logic of its plot. Demon's plot to cause Armageddon, bringing about the end of the world so that he and his followers can go into paradise, felt believable at first. But as I reviewed and reconsidered the story, there were a bit too many holes. If Raviel was in Pallas' possession, Osborn had Uria, and the cards are as powerful as they are claimed to be, then two of the three pieces of the puzzle were already practically in his possession. It's almost as if he didn't even want to start off Armageddon until the Heroes started looking for the cards.

-: Even with the concluding events in mind, the whole ErinXJuruo situation doesn't work in the story's favor. It doesn't add much to the story itself, other than giving Erin a few more lines in the end; after the initial encounter, I as a reader didn't see any development of the situation. That may have been due to a hasty read-through, but nonetheless it is something you should reconsider.

 

Overall, Armageddon is definitely one of YCM's better literary works. On its best moments, the plot shines through as a piece of perfection, and you won't find a main cast this enjoyable in many stories here. The story definitely deserves more readers and commenters than it gets, so if you're ever on the lookout for a good story to read, give Armageddon a...

 

C O N S I D E R A T I O N

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Just ducking my head in after night shift (double pay for bank holiday... woop woop)

 

I will elaborate a little on that comment. I generally break down a story into two big categories: writing and storytelling. Writing refers to the technical aspect of things, such as use of vocabulary, decent grammar, syntax, structure of sentences / paragraphs / chapters etc. Storytelling is basically anything plot-related, narration, description, character development etc. Though undoubtedly you have improved in both of these aspects, what I meant was that since you have become much better at the technical part, when I reflect on or reread those earlier chapters, I tend to detract points from them due to the difference in those things. But 'favorite' chapter should revolve more around storytelling, and of course personal preference, and that's one of the reasons why I left my answer open. Perhaps when you finish the story, I'll be able to answer this more conclusively.

 

I meant generally the use of cards etc, how good the actual game was, when the situation is taken into account. If you prefer, how effectively you were able to convey the struggle between the characters through the use of dueling.

 

The not so obvious one is Erin defeating Juruo, or Juruo fighting Mel?

 

Thanks for clearing all that up, and your continued patience with me needing these explainations.

 

The Juruo vs Mel suggestion seemed a bit out there, but maybe not so much as I first thought.

 

Given I haven't the foggiest what that is, I think your life is safe...

 

[spoiler=Consideration]

C O N S I D E R A T I O N

[/b]

 

After reading through the first half of what I understand to be is a sixty-chapter story, I believe I understand enough of the material to be able to provide a thorough consideration. As others have said before me, including myself, the story starts out slow and rather... bland. This personally put me off reading the story the first time I attempted; I got to the second chapter, and decided to do something else. If I hadn't been recommended by some of YCM's most accomplished writers to give it a second try, that would have been it. Now, I'm glad I did. By the time that Chapter 4 came around, the story really picked me up and drew me in.

 

The basic story is rather cliché by Yu-Gi-Oh! standards; the Spirit World's in trouble, which means that the real world's in trouble, and vice-versa. At the same time, the story revolves around a classic "oppressive government vs. rebels" storyline, and intertwined they become interesting. The character gallery is diverse, and the interactions in the main cast are very enjoyable. By the end of the first arc, we are introduced to the main villain of the story so far; a traditional clad-in-black powerful stranger known only as Demon. Demon single-handedly bests the leader of the Resistance, causing the rest of the main cast to flee the capital.

 

From here-on, we lose some of the story dynamics we had earlier. Now, the story revolves entirely around the five remaining members of the Resistance, trying to find a trio of cards famous to Yu-Gi-Oh! fans; the Sacred Beasts of GX fame. These cards are crucial to the villain's overarching plan to bring about ARMAGEDDON, and must therefore be kept out of their hands.

 

Strangely enough, these cards are practically handed to the heroes, with one of them apparently being found in the street, one of them owned by an old enemy given to them in his dying breath, and one oddly in the possession of a former friend and employer of a member of the main cast. Either something is going on behind the scenes, working in the heroes' favor, or the story is being railroaded. It is also implied that at least one of the cards was in the possession of the Empire prior to the story, which means it was sent out into the general public for no reason.

 

One by one, our Heroes gain possession of these cards, only to lose them directly into the hands of the villains. It's okay; with the kind of security these things have, they probably would've found them anyway. Realizing that their only chance at victory now is to enter the villain's lair through an ancient teleportation gate and fight him directly, the Heroes... do so, and promptly proceed to have their proverbial asses handed to them. One of them even turns out to be a traitor, having worked for Demon all along. That might explain the massive failures that our protagonists have suffered from the start of the second arc. As the thirtieth chapter ends, the inevitable countdown to ARMAGEDDON has started.

 

Pros:

+: As I mentioned earlier, the diversity of the story's characters is one of its strongest points. On one side, we have the renegade Sabin that goes about with their mission in his own way, to the brother-sister duo of Erin and Melanc that look out for each other and seize opportunities when they can.

+: The pacing of the plot was good for most of the story. In some cases things felt a bit rushed, like the conclusion of Arc 1, but overall the story feels balanced. The conclusion of the second arc sets up tension for the third, as well as asking the reader a question: This is the halfway point of the story. How can it go on from here?

 

Cons:

-: The central flaw to Armageddon, to me, is the logic of its plot. Demon's plot to cause Armageddon, bringing about the end of the world so that he and his followers can go into paradise, felt believable at first. But as I reviewed and reconsidered the story, there were a bit too many holes. If Raviel was in Pallas' possession, Osborn had Uria, and the cards are as powerful as they are claimed to be, then two of the three pieces of the puzzle were already practically in his possession. It's almost as if he didn't even want to start off Armageddon until the Heroes started looking for the cards.

-: Even with the concluding events in mind, the whole ErinXJuruo situation doesn't work in the story's favor. It doesn't add much to the story itself, other than giving Erin a few more lines in the end; after the initial encounter, I as a reader didn't see any development of the situation. That may have been due to a hasty read-through, but nonetheless it is something you should reconsider.

 

Overall, Armageddon is definitely one of YCM's better literary works. On its best moments, the plot shines through as a piece of perfection, and you won't find a main cast this enjoyable in many stories here. The story definitely deserves more readers and commenters than it gets, so if you're ever on the lookout for a good story to read, give Armageddon a...

 

C O N S I D E R A T I O N

 

 

 

Thanks for the second in depth review. Appreciate it.

 

(Although I was starting to fear the worst for a few seconds ;) )

 

Respectfully agree with the pair of you, this is far from flawless and there are many holes which I'm doing my best to sow up, but if people are enjoying reading it then I'm cool with that.

 

Right, now I'm going to bed to crash for hopefully a looooooooooong time. Three days off then, hopefully get quite a bit of research and writing done, including bonus chapter for sometime soon.

[Vector Nightmare]

Strangely enough, these cards are practically handed to the heroes, with one of them apparently being found in the street, one of them owned by an old enemy given to them in his dying breath, and one oddly in the possession of a former friend and employer of a member of the main cast. Either something is going on behind the scenes, working in the heroes' favor, or the story is being railroaded. It is also implied that at least one of the cards was in the possession of the Empire prior to the story, which means it was sent out into the general public for no reason.

 

I disagree with this part of the review. You need to take into account that there are two forces at the head of the Empire - Demon cannot simply do whatever he wishes, he also has to humor the Emperor himself, and Nero obviously would not agree with some parts of Demon's plan, so he has to act covertly. Therefore, the fact that Osborn got his hands on Uria, and that Demon couldn't get Pallas to hand over Raviel is not entirely random. Uria was perhaps the greatest stretch here - it is clearly said that Raviel was carefully guarded, but Hirz managed to break through and steal it. That, in retrospect, also makes sense. Thanks to Erin, Demon knew exactly what the group was doing, so they didn't need to be worried of an attack without forewarning, much like the attack on the palace ended up. So the sudden involvement of a third party caught them completely off-guard. The Hamon plot was quite clearly a set up for the card to end up in Demon's hands without him having to oppose the Emperor.

[Umbra]

Raviel was, according to Sabin who brought it to the group, found in the middle of the street. It had been stolen from Pallas during that night, but not by Sabin, and ends up just in his grasp. Assuming that Sabin is telling the truth - he really had no reason to lie at that point - then the card just ended up in his possession. This is where my suspicion of an unseen agent, working for the Heroes. Either way, it's the kind of plot device that I don't really like.

 

To me, Hamon just really came out of nowhere. It felt like they were in and out of Citta del Cascata in two chapters. More effort could've been put in there, definitely.

[Vector Nightmare]

But it wasn't an unseen agent. It was Hirz who stole both Raviel and Hamon. He dropped Raviel where Sabin could find it. After we learn about Erin's betrayal, it clicks together.

[Umbra]

But it wasn't an unseen agent. It was Hirz who stole both Raviel and Hamon. He dropped Raviel where Sabin could find it. After we learn about Erin's betrayal, it clicks together.

 

If it was Hirz that stole Raviel, two sets of questions.

• Why was he in Sennen'Yama in the first place? How could he know that the Resistance Heroes were there, gather information about their reason for being in town, and then successfully steal one of the most heavily protected items in the city? For that last one, why would he even want to? He doesn't know what it's for; he only knows that they want it.

• Knowing that he forced Sabin to duel him to obtain Hamon later in the story, why would he drop Raviel in such a public location for him to find? Speaking of which, if Sabin had just come to town and was simply going out for that walk, then how could Hirz of all people know where he was going to walk, to put Raviel in his path?

 

I expected more epic conflicts out of obtaining the cards, that's all. For such a significant plot point, it felt as if they were practically thrown at the Heroes.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Regarding the debate over the poor security of the sacred beasts, I agree I could have wrote this better. As for Hirz, I thought I'd explained adequately. Perhaps not.

 

Remember every time Sabin would be awake at night, silently staring into the darkness? Hirz was out there, and he knew it. Hirz followed the party the length of the Empire, his goal to lure Sabin back into his employ. He tried to impress him by getting the Raviel card and dropping it in his lap while was taking a midnight stroll (arguably Sabin was looking for Hirz to confront him, but only found the gift). Sab didn't want to tell the group, perhaps because part of him wanted to take care of Hirz himself, maybe another part of him wanted to keep running from the past. It's open to interpretation. Anyway, after this failed, Hirz made more direct contact, summoning him to the bank in Citta del Cascata, and tried to take him back by force.

 

Yes there are holes in this. How did Hirz pick up the trail in the first place? What makes him so talented a thief to break into too suppossed high security safes? There are no adequate answers I can give to these. As for the obtaining, yeah I could have done some better fight scenes over them, I think I was too focused on Sabin's side plot than the main story.

 

Anyway... let's look forward.

 

For now, bonus chapter for you all. I've learnt from the last time I did this, so this time the scene is a lot more relevant in the immediate, and features two characters in need of a little more exposure, especially given recent developments.

 

I wrote all of this today, I was just on a roll with ideas jumping at me. So this ended up about twice the length I originally expected it to be, and with some unexpected action... Hope you all like.

 

Also, rep challenge; reward for anyone cultured enough in film to recognise the not so famous line from the movie... the second bit of plagerism. (No-one seemed to notice the Hitchhikers Guide reference, which disappointed me).

 

[spoiler=Bonus Chapter 2]

The house had been ruined. The front door was hanging off its hinges, having been broken through. The floor was covered in broken glass, wood, and smashed family treasures. The slim teenage girl with long light blue hair reached down in front of her, not noticing her hand shaking as she did so, reaching for a broken photo frame amongst the rubble. Shaking off the shards of glass, she picked up the photo, taken a few years ago in this very living room, staring emptily into the smiling faces of the strapping, fine-looking man with wavy white hair, chiselled features and perfect teeth. Of the refrained beauty of the mother she had inherited most of her own looks from, she was beaming as she held a young baby in her arms. Beside the man was a younger version of herself, smiling and waving at the cameraman. There was a small splash, and the girl’s picture was stained. The young girl dropped the photo and continued to search the house, hoping against hope her family were hiding somewhere. The longer the seconds dragged, her hopes faded.

 

Then she heard a sound she had been praying for. Coming from one of the bedrooms, there was the muffled whimpering of a small and terrified child. Hurrying into her brother’s bedroom, which had mercifully avoided the interest of the raiders, she ducked under the bed, to find the small boy with a shocking mess of blue hair, clutching at a stuffed rabbit doll and bawling his eyes out as quietly as possible. She reached under and tapped him on the shoulder, making him jump, until he realised who it was. The five year old Mel crawled out from under the bed and buried his face in his big sisters waist, tears streaming down his face.

 

“Erin, where are Mom and Dad? What happened to our house?”

 

“I... I don’t know...” Erin couldn’t bring herself to tell Mel what she knew full well had happened, not yet. “But we can’t stay here, it isn’t safe. Get dressed quickly, and wait here for me to come back. If you hear anything scary, hide again straight away.”

 

Mel nodded, wiping his eyes on the back of his pyjama sleeve. He ducked down and reached under his bed again, coming out with his deck of duel monster cards, a recent birthday present from his father, and held them close. Erin left him to dress himself, turning into her own room. This one had been ransacked, and after a quick hunt around, she realised only her duel disk was missing. She knew those people would have searched for her cards too, but she kept her deck on her at all times. She glanced over the ruined dresser, her little jewellery was scattered everywhere. On the floor in front of it, there was a necklace, a gold chain with a single teardrop shaped opal on it. Her mother had handed this down to her recently. She picked it up and put it on herself, shaking her long hair out of the way. Then, grabbing a bag to put a few essentials in, she returned to Mel, and holding his hand tightly, they left the ruined remains of their home together.

 

...

 

Now Erin was sat outside a small cafe in the slums, slowly sipping from her hot coffee. Thinking about the events of that night three years ago still deeply upset her, but while her young brother was around, she did her best not to show her emotions. Of course, the pressure of being strong for him and bottling all her feelings led to, somewhat inevitably, a flood of suppressed misery and anger being released all at once as soon as he was not around, and woe betide anyone that was caught in the deluge. But right now she was sitting out in the sun, in the shade of a large umbrella, enjoying her morning coffee.

 

Trying to enjoy it anyway, the scared glances and hushed whispers from the other customers were beginning to irritate her, however familiar. She should not be surprised by their reaction. On her left arm was her duel shield, its shining silver guard glistening in the light, and hanging from her waist in a leather sheath was a short sword. Erin scowled; her superiors had told her not to go out like this, that she should stay underground except for operations, but she refused to hide who she was. She was a member of the Resistance, fighting underground to free these people who had lost as much to the Empire as she had, risking her life every time she stepped outside. And here these people were, muttering about her and shaking their heads, the ungrateful worms. This wasn’t the first time, earlier this week another coffee shop had refused her service entirely. That had not gone down well.

 

Erin sighed and put down her coffee as she looked down the street. Marching down the narrow passageway were two guards, two low ranking recruits judging by their appearance; clad in the basic grey chainmail body armour and plated helmets, each carrying a red shield and resting a hand on a sword handle. Erin glanced across the array of frightened looking customers, she noticed an older couple; the woman distracting herself by looking through her bag, while the man hid behind his newspaper. Furious, Erin stood and left the shop, walking past the majority of customers, muttering to the old couple as she passed. “You filthy charlatans. After all I do for you. People like you don’t deserve to be freed.” The old dear’s head dropped, the man did not lower his paper, but he visibly shook. Walking out of the shop and down the narrow street, Erin glanced back. The guards were still just slowly marching, just following her for now rather than breaking into full chase. This continued for several minutes, until Erin spotted a small darkened alleyway between two shops to duck between. She casually walked inside, so that her pursuers would no doubt notice. She would not run. She would not hide.

 

The two guards turned into the alleyway, to find Erin waiting for them, sword already drawn. The fight was short, vicious, and bloody. With a bellow, the first one charged practically straight onto Erin’s blade as she waited for his attack, easily parrying it away and stabbing him through the lower stomach. The second one was quick to follow, forcing her to spin to block the attack, but he was also swiftly dispatched with a slash at the exposed neck. Choking and clutching at his bloody throat, the man staggered backwards, he knew he was done for, that his jugular, the key blood channel to the brain, had been cut. Driving her blade home, she put the helpless guard out of his misery. Then she turned back to the first one.

 

He was crawling along the ground, clutching his stomach. He seemed to be crawling towards a small transmission device, which must have fallen from his person when he fell. Now he was trying to radio for backup while she wasn’t looking. Foolish traitor to the people. Erin walked up beside him. In her short heeled boots, she stood on the man’s outstretched hand, slowly crushing it. Despite the Kevlar gauntlet, the man cried in pain, until he was caught short of breath by a boot to the ribs, Erin kicking him until he rolled over. The two looked at each other, the man staring up into her cold, dead eyes, pleading for mercy, to be spared.

 

“You think that if I begged for your mercy, you would show me any?” Erin asked, voice quivering with fury. The guard gulped, starting to cry and mouthing in pray. Pathetic, she thought. Rage taking over, she thrust her sword into his neck, killing him instantly. Not that death stopped her frenzy. Erin continued to stab at his neck, then smash at the helmet with her sword, caving in at the dead man’s skull, tears streaming down her face. She did not stop, until someone caught her arm from behind.

 

“I think he’s dead now.”

 

Gasping in horror, expecting a third guard who could run her through any second, Erin twisted her arm free, ramming her left arm with the shield on back into the assailant’s chest. With a grunt, the stranger released his grip, giving her time to spin and raise her sword to bring down on whoever it was’ head. The strike was expected, and met by a black shield, emblazed with a skull. Shocked, Erin retreated a few steps to take in this individual.

 

The mysterious character was wearing an all black robe that hid most of his face and body. The lower part of his face and chin that was visible was as pale as she was. She could see over his shoulder the man was carrying a sword, she thought it odd he had not drawn it. Studying his shield, she could see it had a duel blade and hub fitted to it, like her own. Smiling, the man removed his hood, to reveal the rest of his face. The thick black hair was the only part that didn’t look dead, his features slightly sunken into his skull, his eyes looked black, but faintly misted over.

 

“You’ll break your sword doing that. Poor man was only following his destiny you know, to live in servitude and do what he had to in order to survive the trials of this world.”

 

Erin raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Well I’m doing what I need to survive too, and vent some anger on the way, like it’s any of your business. Are you with the Empire?”

 

The man smiled, twisting his thin features. “Well, yes and no. Unofficially I work for the Empire, as a close advisor to Emperor Nero himself in fact. But I, like you, despise his vile tyranny that squeezes the life out of us all. Like you, I despise the suffering and the hatred that we share, and wish to bring in an age of happiness and prosperity...”

 

“You look like you’ve had the life squeezed out of you already” Erin did not scare easily, but this man’s appearance was creeping her out, and shouting back at him was the easiest way of dealing with it. “What makes you think we have anything in common?”

 

“Because I have seen your struggle Erin” he replied, making her gasp. She was not surprised he knew her name, she was a wanted woman in the Empire, but he had been watching her personally? “Please, refer to me as Demon, it is my preferred title. I know a lot about you. How you wish to take revenge on those who took your parents from you. How you joined the resistance to gain that revenge, and since doing so, you have seen yourself become hated and feared by the very people you are risking your life to free. You have fought for the resistance, but you grow frustrated by the lack of difference you are making to the world. I have worked for the Empire for a while now, and I know, as I think you are beginning to realise, that the Empire cannot be defeated. By working together however, we can achieve something greater, start again in a new world, where you and your brother can be free. Isn’t that what you want?”

 

Demon was starting to get in Erin’s head. Now he was spying on her brother? Instinctively, Erin did what any big sister might do if she felt her family was in danger, and lashed out. The lash coming by way of activating her duel shield. Despite the surroundings, despite this stranger, despite the law, she was not going to listen to this man who looked half dead, rambling about her and Mel being like him.

 

Demon smiled, and activated his own shield. “That’s not a bad idea. It is said that two people can truly connect on a higher level in the heart of battle.” He glanced around the alleyway. “A bit cramped, but sufficiently hidden from prying eyes, I doubt anyone will bother us. Now then, through conflict, you may come to understand me, yourself. Understand how are goal is common, and that we can achieve it together.” The two stood a few feet apart in this dark, narrow alleyway, preparing for battle.

 

“Let’s duel!”

 

“I’ll start” declared Erin, drawing a sixth card. “I summon Cold Enchanter in attack mode.” A girl with pale blue hair, dressed not too dissimilarly to Erin appeared, carrying a sceptre made of ice. “Now by discarding a card in my hand, I can place an ice counter on my Enchanter, and she gains three hundred attack points per counter.” Blue light emanated from the girls staff (ATK: 1900). “I’ll end my turn with a face down.”

 

“Then I will begin mine” Demon cried, sharply snatching out his sixth card. “I’ll start by summoning Doomcaliber Knight to the field.” A black horse, carrying a demonic warrior carrying a bone shield and curved sword, galloped through the portal (ATK: 1900). “Next, by sending one monster to the graveyard, I can activate One for One, and summon Stygian Security from my deck.” (DEF: 600)

 

‘Oh great’ Erin thought. ‘A Synchro on his first turn. This guy may be a few cards short of a deck, but he knows how to use them.’

 

“Next I equip my knight with Dark Energy, increasing his strength by three hundred. Now he shall lance your icy warrior.” Erin blinked in shock as the horse charged, the knight dispatching of her monster with a swing of its bloody sword (LP: 3700). Demon folded his arms, hidden by his long sleeves. “With that I end my turn.”

 

[spoiler=Summary - End Turn 2]

Erin - Front Row: -. Back Row: Face down. Hand: 3 LP: 3700

Demon - Front Row: Doomcaliber Knight, Stygian Security. Back Row: Dark Energy. Hand: 2 LP: 4000

 

 

 

Erin was baffled by this declaration. ‘Why didn’t he bring out a Synchro monster? Is he testing the waters, seeing if I’d activate my trap? Or does he have a bigger one in store for next turn? Well, whatever the case, I’ve got a big monster in my hand and I’m not going to hold back. I’ll make him regret doing so.’ She drew a card, it didn’t affect the move she was planning, but it would act as a little insurance. “My turn, and I activate the trap Limit Reverse, which summons the Blizzard Lizard resting in my graveyard to the field. Then I play Ice Mirror, to summon another Blizzard Lizard from my deck.” Two small gecko-like creatures, covered in blue and white fur, appeared side by side (ATK: 600). “Now by releasing my two lizards, I can special summon the presiding queen of the frozen plain, Ice Master.”

 

A tall blonde woman in white, carrying a snowflake shaped wand, erupted from the crystal stalagmite before her (ATK: 2500). “Next I summon Blizzard Dragon. Now Ice Master destroys Doomcaliber Knight, and Blizzard Dragon lays waste to Stygian Security.” The elegant woman conjured a storm of snow and ice to attack, the small blue dragon beside unleashed an icy blast from its mouth (ATK: 1800). Both monsters were destroyed.

 

“When Security is destroyed, I can summon another one from my deck” Demon calmly stated, not in the least bit fussed by his loss (LP: 3700). Another small winged fiend appeared in front of him.

 

“Fine, I end my turn with a face down.”

 

Demon grinned as he drew. “I’m still two steps ahead of you. I release my monster to summon Puppet Master.” A horrific creature emerged, a zombified puppeteer in a faded jesters uniform (ATK: 0). “Now by paying two thousand life points, I can resurrect two monsters from my graveyard. Rise again, Stygian Security, and Doom Shaman.”

 

“Dammit, that’s why you didn’t Synchro before” Erin cursed as the monsters appeared side by side of the puppeteer, only to then join together in a column of star filled light.

 

“Correct, but now I will. I Synchro summon the divine king of the black heavens, Dark Highlander.” A fearsome monster, an almighty warlord carrying an enormous scythe, rose from the dark abyss (ATK: 2800). “Highlander, destroy Ice Master.” With an effortless swipe of its scythe, the king obliged.

 

Grimacing from the destruction, Erin opened her trap. “I play Soul Rope. By paying a thousand life points, I can special summon a monster from my deck. Burst forth Geomancer of the Ice Barrier.”

 

Demon nodded, grinning, as though he was expecting that exact move. “I see what you are trying with that tuner monster, but it won’t work. Dark Highlander prevents both players from Synchro summoning.” Demon chuckled at Erin’s frustrated scowl. “Do you understand yet Erin? Every time you make a step forward, I push you two steps back. The same relationship exists between Resistance and Empire. But if you join me, we can escape this reality and reach a place where such suffering does not exist. I don’t expect you to understand everything I’m offering you yet, this is just a friendly introduction, so let’s continue. I play the spell Share the Pain. I sacrifice Puppet Master, and in turn you must sacrifice a monster you control.”

 

Erin breathed in slowly; there were arguments for and against keeping either monster. With Blizzard Dragon, she could use its effect to prevent Dark Highlander from attacking next turn, and keep doing so as long as she didn’t lose it. Whereas the Geomancer, a simple black haired girl in blue robes carrying a large amulet, was a tuner monster, now apparently redundant due to the fiend she was facing. The choice should be obvious...

 

“I know what you’re thinking.” Demon interrupted her train of thought, smiling... kindly? “Your choice should make itself, you should keep Blizzard Dragon. But are you sure it is the right choice? Sometimes the hardest decision is to do what seems beyond logic and reason. To take a leap of faith, to take the risk with the highest stakes, that may present the greatest reward.”

 

He was doing the mind games again. Erin scowled; she never did what the generals in the resistance told her, why should she follow this preacher’s suggestion? However, maybe she should humour him. “I choose to release Blizzard Dragon.” The dragon and the puppeteer disappeared into thin air.

 

“Good girl.” Demon closed his eyes, when he spoke, he sounded somewhere far away. “Isn’t it strange how a card like Share the Pain can reflect the two of us? We have both suffered much, for various reasons. But through suffering we become stronger, and if we join together and dare to achieve something others would not comprehend, to reach for a place with no Empire, no oppression, no torment and pain, by taking that bold step to Utopia, we will be rewarded for our endurance of the hurt and misery we have shared. Your turn Erin. Take the leap of faith. I know you will land on solid ground.” Demon opened his eyes, pupils dancing behind the smoky screen, and folded his arms, waiting for the stunned Erin to move.

 

[spoiler=Summary - End Turn 4]

Erin - Front Row: Geomancer of the Ice Barrier. Back Row: -. Hand: - LP: 2400

Demon - Front Row: Dark Highlander. Back Row: -. Hand: 1 LP: 1700

 

 

 

Faith? Utopia? What was he talking about? Thoughts ran around Erin’s head, but two words resonated clearer than any others, the promise of something that suddenly she realised that the Resistance could not bring to pass, but just maybe, this man could, if she believed in him. Something that for the last five years she would give anything, anything at all, for the day she and her brother could live in peace.

 

No Empire.

 

“Alright then, ‘Demon’, let’s see where this ‘faith’ takes me. I draw.” Erin drew her card with a flurry, fully extending her arm in a swinging arc. “I activate the spell card Aurora Draw, which because my hand is now empty, let’s me draw two more cards.” Erin repeated her draw, glancing at her cards in shock. There they were. Two cards that were exactly what she needed, but the move was only possible because she had, against all duelling sense, kept Geomancer on the field. Demon had been... right.

 

“By releasing the spellcaster monster Geomancer of the Ice Barrier on the field, I can summon the level eight monster Blizzard Princess from my hand.” A smiling teal haired girl, wearing a white dress and a crown, sprang onto the field, carrying a staff that connected by a long chain to a huge slab of ice like a mace, a princess with a punch to match the so called king (ATK: 2800). Demon’s smile widened slightly, and he nodded. Erin continued. “Now I equip my princess with The Enchanted Sword Nothung raising its attack by four hundred. Now strike down his majesty Dark Highlander.” The mace transformed into a holy sword (ATK:3200), and the tealette crushed the scythe wielder with its new power.

 

Demon drew, but did not look at his new card. Instead he returned it to the top of his deck. “I think that will do for this first meeting Erin. I must say that was a most fascinating contest. You fight with great tenacity. You cannot deny you are consumed from deep within by anger, towards the Empire, and to those who fear and hate you. But if you embrace it, you can channel the power of your fury, and prevail over... our common enemies, and save those people who truly deserve Utopia.” He extended a hand. Erin looked at it, but shied away, staring into his cloudy eyes. He could sense the fire in her. With a swish of his cloak, he turned and walked away.

 

“Your Resistance friends are making my life difficult. What I need you to do for me is to be patient, and channel your aggression. Rise through the ranks, until you are in a position of control. Only then will you be able to help me, and remember” He turned and smiled at her again. “Helping me, and taking that leap of faith, is the only way you can help yourself, and reach what it is you want.”

 

As soon as the figure disappeared into the shadows, Erin ran. She had to get away from that place, from the two bodies that had laid there seeping blood throughout that match, from all the premonitions and comments on her character which, if she was honest, were so hauntingly close to her. Eventually Erin reached a place she could go underground from, an old house which had a ladder concealed under a wardrobe, and return to headquarters, thinking about everything that had happened, and the path she might take. As she pulled open the secret compartment, she noticed her necklace was hanging out. The teardrop necklace that belonged to her mother, who had been killed by the Empire, just for competing in card game tournaments, it was such a trivial and unjust offence.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Notes]

When it comes to writing the arc three bios, the cards that have been used exclusively in these decks may not necessarily appear, due to the passage of time, they may have been replaced.

 

 

 

Hope you liked it. Regarding Arc Three, I have written part of, but I wouldn't say I've yet completed any of, the first five chapters.

 

I am hoping to post chapter 31 on Friday 5th May, hopefully the Wednesday before that even.

[Lexadin]

Nice backgroundstory, I liked it.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Glad you liked.

 

See sig peeps, Arc Three begins Wednesday 3rd.

 

You have been warned...

 

Hopefully have more than three people regularly comment by then.

[Vector Nightmare]

This was good...

 

...until the ending paragraph >_<.

 

That part from Demon's perspective really cheapened the whole scene, it would have been much better if it was left hanging. Now you made the whole chapter basically amount to: "k, I'm Demon, I'm a prick who can beat everyone and then make puppets out of them". I mean, you are really harsh on Erin. First the rather outlandish love affair with Juruo, then you make her a traitor, and you don't even give her the benefit of a doubt as to whether she could have beaten Demon, which would have really added to her character - and when that very Demon was crushed by Juruo just a chapter earlier... you're being awfully unfair to Erin =(. This sort of treatment is generally reserved for characters who start walking down the Mary Sue road (see: Juruo) and the author wants to put back in their place. But poor Erin was never a Mary Sue...

 

Leaving that ending part aside, though, this chapter was extremely good, it was nice to finally get some exposition on how the Resistance was before the story started and everything turned into chaos. I think it's one of my favorites so far, that retro feel is something this story has been missing for a while.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

This was good...

 

...until the ending paragraph >_<.

 

That part from Demon's perspective really cheapened the whole scene, it would have been much better if it was left hanging. Now you made the whole chapter basically amount to: "k, I'm Demon, I'm a prick who can beat everyone and then make puppets out of them". I mean, you are really harsh on Erin. First the rather outlandish love affair with Juruo, then you make her a traitor, and you don't even give her the benefit of a doubt as to whether she could have beaten Demon, which would have really added to her character - and when that very Demon was crushed by Juruo just a chapter earlier... you're being awfully unfair to Erin =(. This sort of treatment is generally reserved for characters who start walking down the Mary Sue road (see: Juruo) and the author wants to put back in their place. But poor Erin was never a Mary Sue...

 

Leaving that ending part aside, though, this chapter was extremely good, it was nice to finally get some exposition on how the Resistance was before the story started and everything turned into chaos. I think it's one of my favorites so far, that retro feel is something this story has been missing for a while.

 

Oh dammit! So close... :(

 

End paragraph deleted... now it never happened... your memory is lying to you... it ended in the balance, really :)

 

I tried too hard to salvage a character that didn't need salvaging didn't I? Damn. Tbh I never really decided on how to end it, originally it was going to be Dark Hole/Morphing Jar leaving on 'Ok we'll both start again with a clear field and full hand, no point really'. Then it was going to be something like 'Dice Jar' which could go either way (except Demon may/may not have had some insurance).

 

At what point did Juruo crush Demon? Demon controlled the match completely until he fluked out Alector, again.

 

I don't mean to do it to Erin, I love her so much. She is a smexy badass who we all love even though she's on Demon's team as it seems, or she is supposed to be. Ohhh.... I'm sorry Erin, forgive me.

[Vector Nightmare]

You didn't know? Topdecking some random situational card to pull off an extremely unlikely reversal = irrefutably dominating the opponent, by anime rules.

 

I really liked Erin in this chapter but it seems that she wasn't any problem for Demon at all, and basically doing things exactly as he wanted her to, which I did not like since she didn't seem the type to be manipulated like that. I think the way you portrayed her was excellent and the duel was really good, and when it was finished like that I thought it was exactly the way I wanted the ending to be... and then you came and went all "hey Demon could have mopped the floor with her so this chapter was pretty much meant to show how manipulative and awesome Demon is", and I was like

 

[spoiler=_]RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

 

 

EDIT: I lol'd that you actually deleted the last paragraphs, but now it needs something else there, the ending is too abrupt >_>.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

You didn't know? Topdecking some random situational card to pull off an extremely unlikely reversal = irrefutably dominating the opponent, by anime rules.

 

I really liked Erin in this chapter but it seems that she wasn't any problem for Demon at all, and basically doing things exactly as he wanted her to, which I did not like since she didn't seem the type to be manipulated like that. I think the way you portrayed her was excellent and the duel was really good, and when it was finished like that I thought it was exactly the way I wanted the ending to be... and then you came and went all "hey Demon could have mopped the floor with her so this chapter was pretty much meant to show how manipulative and awesome Demon is", and I was like

 

[spoiler=_]RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

 

 

EDIT: I lol'd that you actually deleted the last paragraphs, but now it needs something else there, the ending is too abrupt >_>.

 

There is that, but I think I'm one of a few in a (bad?) mentality of 'you can only use what you draw'. Example if you're say Kaiba or Zane and your oppoenent draws Exodia in their opening hand, or has the aforementioned Dice Jar work for them, there's only so much you can do.

 

Hopefully I will do better with Erin in Arc Three.

 

Sorry I made you RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

 

Dunno what to put there now. Meet with Mel? Vardus?

 

Btw someone please metorphorically kick me up the bum to do some writing this weekend.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

It's time, for the third part of this story, United Resistance, to unfold.

 

I've written bits and pieces of the first half of this arc, this is one of maybe only two/three that I would call 'completed' so far. Which gives me a bit of room to tinker. Hopefully by taking on board the thoughts of the readers who leave thoughts, this will be the most varied, action packed and generally best arc so far.

 

[spoiler=The story so far...]

Under the Empire’s rule, the people have been made to suffer poverty and depression. From the shadows, a small group of warriors, the Resistance, fought against the oppression, but encountered far darker forces behind the Emperor. Demon, a man consumed by hatred and pain, working in the Empire’s shadow to obtain the three sacred beast cards that, under his manipulation, could destroy all of existence. The team of Juruo, Sabin, Hikari, Erin and Melanc journeyed across the Empire from city to city, trying to find the cards first and protect them. Along the way they met, and lost, many allies who fought against the darkness. Raesir and Gear, associates of Demon, procured the sacred cards from them. In desperation, the party attacked the dark cult’s castle, where Juruo fought Demon in an effort to stop him, as he was told it was his destiny to do so. Demon revealed the full extent of his quest, to force the unstoppable energy of the three sacred beasts through a ‘bomb’ of his design, powering his Final Countdown card. The energy would steadily rip apart the walls between the human world and the spirit world, distorting balance as the worlds collapsed together, until Final Countdown was complete and destroyed both worlds. Demon believed this would rip open a gateway in the void of reality to a perfect world. After a gruelling match, Juruo came within moments of winning the duel and closing the gate to the void, until Erin, who he had fallen in love with, betrayed the resistance. Now we pick up the story, sixty hours after Final Countdown has been activated...

 

 

 

Now for the first chapter, which does not involve one line from any of our three leading lads and lady... but an explosive end...

 

[spoiler=Chapter 31]

Chapter 31 - Brothers of Arms

 

In a small, gloomy looking room in the heart of the castle, lit only by the blood red candles on the walls, four people sat around a grand oak table. They were here for an arranged meeting, and they had been waiting for some time for the two occupants of the empty chairs at each end of the table. One of them, a young man with wild red hair held up with a black bandana and linear tattoos that lightly glowed a shade of bright blue, was evidently bored of waiting, putting his feet up on the table and taking a silver lighter out of his sleeveless red jacket, proceeding to start playing with it, his eyes intently following the dancing flame. On his right sat another man who was slightly older, who also wore a sleeveless jacket to expose his arms, although unlike his associate he did not wear a shirt under his black bikers attire, which left the large life support unit making up half of his chest open for all to see, a red light flashing at regular intervals. He idly swept his long brown hair out of his face, his chin - which was starting to become stubbly without shaving - resting on his right arm, a mechanical implant of pistons and wiring.

 

Opposite from them sat the other two people present, both of whom were female. One of them was sitting resting their head on their interlocked fingers, staring into the distance past the man playing with the lighter. She had long dirty blonde hair flowing down her lower back over her low cut muddy green dress, which did little to distract from her face. Veins bulged against the skin on her brow, cheeks, and on the hands her head was resting on, visible even through her netted gloves. Her eyes were completely black and pupil less. From over her shoulder, a black centipede crawled up her neck and across her face. She did not even blink. She was used to being called a freak, and those who had done so had paid the price.

 

On her left sat the groups newest member; a tall, elegant looking woman with light blue hair coming down to her shoulders, and snow white skin that stood out in the candle light. She was sitting with her arms folded and legs crossed, impatiently tapping the stone floor with her long blue heeled boots. She and the others looked up as the door to their boardroom creaked open (the flame haired man speedily getting his boots off the table), and another man entered.

 

He also was very pale; this combined with his gaunt features and sunken white eyes made him look half dead. As he strode past the two younger men over to the chair at the top of the table, a high backed seat adorned with spikes similar to the one in his room, his heavy coat rattled as the silver chains shook with the motion. Since he had now discarded his hooded cloak, he had reattached the full sleeves of the coat underneath his black duel shield, and was wearing black gloves to hide his pale hands and complete his look. He pulled back his chair and settled himself, cracking his neck as he did so.

 

“I take it your dad isn’t turning up for this meeting either” Gear lazily asked, lifting his head off his mechanical arm. Demon shook his head, prompting him to sigh. “I don’t know why we even put a seat out anymore.”

 

“Oh well, let’s get on with this.” Raesir said, putting his lighter back in his pocket. “The Doomsday Club meeting is now in session.”

 

“Stop calling us that” the blonde woman’s voice cut through the air irritably, making Raesir cringe, there was a hint of menace behind every word she said, emphasized by her rasping tone. Her posture had not changed even slightly since Demon entered. “We don’t have a name, names are easy to trace. Now allow Lord Demon to address us.”

 

Demon raised a gloved hand, cackling at what she had said. “Urusula dear, I am no lord. I actively reject that meaningless title you keep trying to bestow upon me. Lords are men who are too fond of their fancy clothes and speeches and public outings, but are of very little action, and they always seem to overvalue their authority. Kind of like our good friend Nero, wouldn’t you agree?”

 

The woman Urusula turned her head to indicate she was looking straight at her leader, something that would not have been obvious otherwise. She blinked, and Raesir sitting opposite her visibly flinched, as she did not blink like a normal person, but like a lizard or insect, as her eyelids closed from the sides. “You are our master, leading us to an existence of supreme happiness. Your power and ambition exceeds any lord there has ever been.” Demon couldn’t help but grin as Urusula bowed her head.

 

“Urusula, you make me blush, really. Anyway, to business. Everything is going smoothly?”

 

“Yes my lord. A simple glance at the sky would tell you that the devices power is continuing to operate to its fullest. Alternatively, you could always take a trip below to visit our guests, and see the effect of the collapsing boundaries of the worlds has had on them.” Urusula cackled to herself. As she did so, another centipede crawled out from the side of her mouth, dropping to the floor.

 

“You won’t be surprised to know that Nero has been repeatedly trying to get hold of you, demanding an explanation.” Gear turned to address Demon, desperately trying to distract himself from the uneasy rumblings his stomach was making. “You going to see him?”

 

“Nero is not a problem” Demon shrugged. The mention of the ruler of the Empire seemed trivial to him.

 

“No, but he is a pain in the ass who I’m sick of talking to.” Gear immediately regretted using the word ‘sick’, gulping hard, but carried on. “Can’t we take care of him already?”

 

“Be patient Gear. If we were to dispose of him, intolerable and pointless bigot that he may be, it would cause unnecessary trouble for us. Fear and chaos is gripping the world, and this fear turns to hatred, which is directed at the man seen to be in charge, and therefore responsible. Nero can try as much as he likes to calm the people, but their despising of him makes his efforts futile, and this works in our favour, as we can continue to operate from the shadows. Without this shield, the people may discover us and seek us out, blinded by their fear and ignorance. No matter how well hid we are, or how well defended our castle; there is always a chance we could be discovered. How do you think the six of us are going to do against hundreds of armed peasants? We are best continuing to operate from the darkness, and let the Emperor take the public’s wrath.” Gear shrugged, allowing Demon to cast his gaze over the one person who had not spoken yet. “You look distracted Erin. What’s on your mind? Is it your brother?”

 

Erin remained sat with her arms folded and eyes shut, still tapping with a boot. “He will come round. He just needs time to listen to me and accept the truth.”

 

Demon nodded. The other three were all only children, but he did have brothers. Well, half brothers. But he was not deceived, something about Erin was telling him her little brother was not who was on her mind, and it didn’t take any dark powers to see who. His lips turned into a cruel smile. “You’re thinking about Juruo still, aren’t you?” Erin scowled irritably, and did not respond further. Raesir looked across at her, amused.

 

“Wow, you must have really hit him hard, for him to be out for nearly three days now. Then again, you did break his heart before that. Poor guy.”

 

Erin’s eyes opened, flashing dangerously. “You know more than me. You’ve been down there, I haven’t. Has there been any change?”

 

Urusula turned to face Erin. “No, he’s been out cold ever since we took him down there. The other three prisoners however have reacted very well to our little experiments. It is so much fun watching them clutch to hope like straws, as I dangle it in front of them, only for them to fall as I snatch it away again.” Urusula laughed again. “The results have proved what we needed to settle, the damage they have suffered is very real, proving that there are holes being torn. Erin, you should really join us sometime. It may help you forget about that worthless boy, who obviously doesn’t appreciate what you’ve done for him.”

 

The woman extended a hand, placing it on Erin’s thigh. From under the sleeve of her dress and lace gloves, several bugs crawled out and onto her leg. Erin did not flinch, or so much look at Urusula. “Touch me with that hand again, and I will break every bone in it” she simply stated. Urusula huffed indignantly, and withdrew her hand.

 

The group continued to discuss various matters and things left to do in the coming week before their plan reached its end for several minutes. Demon eventually sighed, and rose out of his seat. “Well now that’s all settled, I have other business to attend to.” Everyone turned to look at him, surprised. “It is a family matter. Thank you for your time. Meeting adjourned.” With that, he simply walked away from the table, as a dark flame enveloped his body. There was a purple flash, and he was gone, leaving only the fire behind, until it gradually faded.

 

While the others struggled to understand their leader’s sudden departure, Erin stood, dusted off a few of the bugs that were still on her tight blue trousers, and turned to leave. Snapping back into the present, the others also stood. The two boys stepped across Erin’s path, between her and the door, arms folded and frowning. Gear was about her height, whilst Raesir was slightly shorter than everyone who had been at the meeting, although apparently he was the only one younger than her here. Erin stopped, rolling her eyes as she turned to see Urusula, her face so close to hers she could feel her breath. She looked the new girl over with suspicious. “Are you going to see him?”

 

“If by ‘him’ you mean my brother, then yes.” Urusula scowled, that was not who she was referring to and Erin knew it.

 

“You betrayed them, why would you think he still loves you? You surprised even us with your treachery. Demon kept his trump card very quiet indeed. But this does make it hard for us to trust you. How do we know you won’t stab us in the back like you did your so called resistance friends?”

 

Erin grimaced and diverted her gaze downwards. There on the stone floor she noticed some of the bugs, mostly beetles and spiders, she had knocked off her trousers. Smirking, she looked back at Urusula. She raised the sole of her boot, so it hovered just above some of the insects, before slowly bringing it back down again with a crunch, twisting her ankle slightly, grinding the crushed bugs into the dust. She smiled as Urusula shook with rage. Turning, she shoved between the two boys, and left them to it.

 

…

 

Demon was so accustomed to this form of travel by now, the peculiar sensation of teleportation had long wore off affecting him. It was one of the many skills he had learned travelling through the worlds darker places, and he had mastered it to such an extent he could appear anywhere he wanted to the exact spot, as long as he had been there before and could picture his destination clearly. Teleporting still took a lot of effort, and by the time he emerged from the purple flames, he needed a moment to catch breath. He smiled when he thought of where he could be in a week, a place where we would have limitless energy to teleport around. Maybe this crude method of movement wouldn’t even be necessary there. Nevertheless, he was still here, and still needed it, to reach this destination in a time more practical.

 

He was standing outside a small cemetery. A grim resting place, a simple flat piece of land with long, brown grass and mismatched tombstones, which stretched past the chapel on its left side and round the back in a large L, enclosed by a rickety wooden fence. The chapel itself was small and dainty. Alongside the other fence was a line of the backs of people’s houses, all blacked out in the late night. Demon glanced around for anyone who might have been wandering the street at this hour before, satisfied he was not being watched, entering the cemetery.

 

He guessed - correctly - where to find what he was looking for. Directly behind the chapel, near the very corner of the graveyard, hanging below one of the chapels outside lanterns, was a single stone. Demon stood before it, bowing his head silently before the empty grave.

 

Vardus Jackson

15th October 3136 - 4th June 3170

The bravest man I ever knew

 

Demon stood like this for several minutes, staring at the stone. Thoughts of his childhood passed across his brain, a lot of them involved his younger half-brother. Demon’s blood began to boil. Shaking, he placed a hand on the hilt of his sword, now hanging around his waist since discarding his heavy hood, and pulled out the blade. Rage’s grip was halted however, as Demon froze at a small noise behind him. He waited, standing like a statue, waiting…

 

There was a bellow of fury, and Demon whipped around, eyes widening in shock as a massive hand reached for him, grabbing him around the throat. Gasping desperately, Demon raised his sword to the throat of his assailant as he was pushed back a step, allowing the massive figure to come more into the light. A minute passed and neither man moved, as Demon held his sword up against the throat of his older half brother, and Barakus squeezed his huge right hand around his throat.

 

“You worm. What did you come back here for? Are you still trying to take my daughter from me, or are you just trying to ruin what little is left of my brother’s memory. You miserable, evil son of a…”

 

“Careful Barakus, we share a mother remember?” Demon’s voice wasn’t remotely fearful or indeed remorseful; he just casually stated this fact as he stared up at his brother. Demon was what you might call ‘above average’ height, but the ironsmith was at least a good foot taller than he was. Barakus’ eyes were bulging with a demented rage. He spoke slowly, emphasizing every word with a tightening grip of his massive fingers.

 

“You murdered your own brother. Maybe we didn’t have the same father, but we still loved you like a brother just the same. We stood up for you; doing everything we could to protect you.”

 

“For all of Vardus’ knowledge, he could not see beyond his nose. He made it his business to get in the way of my goal, and paid the price. As you are proceeding to do so as well.”

 

“Oh really, I’m getting in your way am I? By your goal, I take it you mean those things in the sky. Does that mean you killed those kids as well?” Barakus nodded upwards, diverting Demon’s attention to the sky above. Hanging there in the black were three balls of fire, glowing ominously. Demon did not answer the question, silently remaining pokerfaced, as the standoff continued. A vein bulged across Barakus’ temple.

 

“All I have to do is squeeze your scrawny throat.”

 

Demon smirked. “Really Barakus? It’s all well and good you throwing a few punches around the schoolyard, but I doubt you could go that far.” Demon waited for Barakus to respond. With a growl of frustration, the colossal man let him go. Demon blinked as his feet hit the floor with a thud. He hadn’t realised his brother had lifted him off the ground with one hand. Dusting himself down, he looked him over, puzzled, before noticing the reason why Barakus hadn’t grabbed him with his stronger left hand.

 

“Did Vardus give that to you?” he pointed at the simple duel shield with his sword. Barakus nodded.

 

“He gave it to me when I last saw him at father’s funeral. You wouldn’t know, since you never showed up. He said I may need it one day to protect myself and my family, but I’ve never had to use it. I figured I lay it beside his tombstone, until I find you about to desecrate it. Do you even know what happened to his body after you left him for dead in the royal palace?” Demon paused to think for a moment.

 

“I couldn’t say for certain, but I’d imagine they probably cut off his head and put it on a pike, to warn off potential rebels.” Barakus roared in fury at him, as thoughts of his little brothers body being treated in such a way even after death distressed him. “Barakus, I would not have gone out of my way to kill him. I actually came here as a sign of my respect. But Vardus got in my way, knowingly or otherwise, too many times, disrupting too many of my plans as he fought against the Empire, and me in doing so. He challenged me, and lost. You do not have to meet the same fate. I suggest you go home to your precious wife and daughter.” With that, Demon sheathed his sword, and turned to leave. He took three or four steps, before a massive hand clamped down on his shoulder. Turning, he raised an eyebrow, as Barakus armed the duel shield he was carrying.

 

“You are joking right?”

 

“I may not be as brave or talented as Vardus was, but I won’t stand back anymore and watch you destroy people’s lives. It might be too little too late to save you, and I don’t understand what you’ve done that started that... thing in the sky, but in honour of Vardus, and those kids, I must try to stop you.”

 

“You don’t stand a chance” Demon scoffed, and started to walk off again. There was another bellow from behind him, instinctively Demon jumped out the way as Barakus charged, swinging a crushing fist where his head had been. Infuriated, Demon activated his shield. “Fine, if you want to join your brother so badly, I’ll oblige you, and prove once and for all that I am superior to both of you!” Both shields automatically shuffled both men’s cards, before producing five of them to take for their opening hands.

 

“Let’s duel!”

 

“I’m going first” Barakus said, getting the green indicator on his duel shield. He picked out his sixth card, glancing at the small piece of plain yellowy coloured card, and the design of a small girl like being with red hair and a matching dress printed on it. I know I’m severely outmatched. I just hope these cards have the power to show Dravir the mistakes he has made, and feel some remorse. This card say things are uncertain, but are stronger united. Maybe I should remember that. “I summon Fortune Fairy En in defence mode.” A portal opened beside him, and a small flame haired girl matching that on the card floated through it. She floated in midair, holding a small wand (DEF: 0). “Next I activate the continuous spell, Heart of the Underdog. During my draw phase, if I draw a monster that does not have an effect, I can draw an additional card. Then I place one card face down and end my turn.”

 

“You are making a big mistake, dear brother. You were outmatched before we even drew, but those cards are pathetic. I draw, and then I’ll start my turn by summoning Sonic Bird to the field.” A magnificent bald eagle, wearing a jetpack and goggles, soared through its own portal (ATK: 1400). “When Sonic Bird is summoned normally, I can add one ritual spell card to my hand. Next I’ll take care of that face down by activating Dark World Lightning.” Barakus recoiled as a thunderbolt struck from above, obliterating the face down Slip of Fortune card, allowing Demon a smirk as he threw a card away as part of his spells effect. “Now Sonic Bird attacks your unprotected little fairy.”

 

“From my hand, I activate the effect of Stronghold Guardian. This noble warrior sends itself to the graveyard to lend a monster its defensive might.” The ghostly image of a muscular man appeared behind the little fairy, aiding her defence against the attack (DEF: 1500).

 

Demon’s brow visibly furrowed as his eagle was repelled. “I place one card face down.”

 

[spoiler=Summary - End Turn 2]

Barakus - Front Row: Fortune Fairy En. Back Row: -. Hand: 2 LP: 4000

Demon - Front Row: Sonic Bird. Back Row: Face down. Hand: 3 LP: 3900

 

 

 

“I draw.” Barakus picked a card from his deck, eyeing it thoughtfully. Fortune Fairy Swee. This card says my fortune is... turning for the worse? Hopefully it is not accurate. “Because the card I drew is a normal monster, Heart of the Underdog lets me draw again.” Barakus did as he said, revealing another Fortune Fairy, before drawing his third card, a spell that ended his cards effect. Hand replenished, Barakus paused, trying to work out his move, Demon frowning at him with impatience.

 

“I summon the Fortune Fairy Swee in attack mode. Then straight away I activate the spell card Unacceptable Result which special summons another fairy from my hand, Fortune Fairy Ann. Two more small fairies, dressed in blue and purple respectively, emerged either side of the fiery En. (ATK: 0) “Next I play another continuous spell card Miracle Stone. This magical key stone bumps up the attack power of my fortune fairies by the number of them I have out multiplied by one thousand. Fortune Fairy En, attack Sonic Bird.” Demon blinked as each of the little fairies strength rose to (ATK: 3000), and the one in the red dress pulled back her wand, releasing a stream of fire that engulfed his bird, which disappeared with a squawk (LP: 2300). The fire switched direction, crashing into Demons duel shield. The attack was incredible. Demon could feel the heat, causing sweat to appear on his forehead, as he pushed against the fire from behind his shield, the stream forcing him back a few feet. Finally the attack stopped. Panting, Demon resurfaced, taking in the look of astonishment on his brother’s face. There were scorch marks on the skull emblazed shield.

 

“Do you see now what you have let yourself in for brother? Since the Final Countdown was activated, the three fireballs you can see floating in the sky above you have been appearing one by one not just here, but in the parallel duel spirit world as well. These fires are weakening the boundaries of reality, until it eventually collapses. With each passing day, another fire is lit, and the walls between our two worlds weaken further. So now when we duel, the attacks of our monsters, and the damage we take, is very, very real!”

 

Barakus visibly gulped. “Be that as it may, I cannot back down, I’d never forgive myself. Now due to the effect of Miracle Stone, monsters I’ve summoned just this turn cannot attack. So I’ll have to leave it there.”

 

“Then I’ll finish this” Demon threatened, drawing his card. He already had what he needed to play with, but it would act as insurance, if necessary. “I summon Senju of the Thousand Hands in attack. Now when he is normal summoned, I can add one ritual monster to my hand. Now I activate the spell End of the World. By releasing Senju and the Djinn Cursechanter of Rituals in my graveyard, I can summon my own angel, an angel of doom. Ruin, Queen of Oblivion!”

 

The ‘angel’ as he had put it descended from on high, floating gracefully into the graveyard. Ruin was a slim woman, dressed in a fine gown of cherry and beige, changing to black as it fell over her legs. Her long white hair whipped around in the wind as she fell to earth, disillusioning her deceptive beauty. In her right hand she carried a long staff, ending with two converging spikes. The angel stood tall beside her master, who was leering maliciously at Barakus. “I activate my face down card, Ritual Buster. This prevents you from activating any spell or traps you may have wanted to use to counter Ruin with. Next I equip her with the Axe of Despair, which raises her attack by one thousand, above all of your monsters. Ruin, go to work, and release your destructive wrath.” In an instant the beautiful face of Ruin contorted, becoming something ugly, something terrifying, as the staff she bore transformed into a heavy axe (ATK: 3300). With a cackle, she rushed forwards, her movements were still graceful, and bought the axe down on the flame fairy. A shockwave emanated from the destruction, going straight through the big man’s chest. The pain, and the shock of the pain, where the blast had struck, rattled Barakus, breathing out sharply. (LP: 3700)

 

“Now you only control two fortune fairies, their attack power drops accordingly to two thousand each. Also, when Ruin destroys a monster by battle, she can attack once again. Strike two.” With one deft movement, the angel slashed down another fairy. A second, larger shockwave was unleashed in the destructions wake, Barakus clutched at his chest, sinking to one knee (LP: 2400). Demon wasn’t finished. “Ruin, strike three.” Delightfully obliging with another graceful strike of her axe, Ruin crushed the third, significantly weakened fairy. Another shockwave ensued, and Barakus was on both knees (LP: 100).

 

Carnage completed, Ruin floated back to her masters side. Demon was no longer smiling; instead he was staring down his brother with pity and disgust. “One card face down. You cower before us like a snivelling buffoon Barakus. You asked for this duel, be a man and stand up.”

 

[spoiler=Summary - End Turn 4]

Barakus - Front Row: -. Back Row: -. Hand: 1 LP: 100

Demon - Front Row: Ruin. Back Row: Axe of Despair, face down. Hand: - LP: 2300

 

 

 

Barakus put his hand on one knee and tried to lever himself up, but stopped as his mind and his muscles screamed at him to stay down. Panting heavily from the assault, he stared across at the man once known as Dravir, whom he had time and again fought off bullies for as a child, and in exchange had copied his maths homework. The two brothers maintained the stare of hatred for some time, until Barakus drew his card. He knew the Misfortune spell in his hand was redundant now thanks to Ritual Buster, so this last draw had to be special. He looked at it, and his eyes widened in horror.

 

No, it can’t be. Not this card. I can’t play this, not in these conditions. Unless, it’s my fate...

 

Unsteadily, Barakus staggered to his feet, his mighty frame making him lurch forwards, threatening to fall again. “I place one card face down, and end my turn.”

 

“If that’s all you can do. Honestly, what did you think you could accomplish by duelling me? You think I’d have a change of heart, that I’d see the error of my ways? I have made no error. I am reaching my destiny, which will see me ascend into paradise as mankind’s saviour. And I will get rid of anyone foolish enough to stand against me, even my own brothers.”

 

Barakus sighed heavily as Demon finished talking, preparing to strike him down. It was hopeless, the man who was once his brother was too far gone, and he could not save him. Then there was only one thing he could do. If he was going to die, he would have to take this fiend, this Demon down with him.

 

“Activate face down card, Self Destruct Button.”

 

 

[Vector Nightmare]

Wow. Really, really nice. I am extremely pleased with this (although I'm pretty, pretty darn miffed about Barakus using Fortune Fairies, of all things). I'll write a more thorough review when I have more time, but... what happened to the restriction in Self-Destruct Button? Even if you halve the difference needed, that's still 3500 LP, more than the difference between the two.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Wow. Really, really nice. I am extremely pleased with this (although I'm pretty, pretty darn miffed about Barakus using Fortune Fairies, of all things). I'll write a more thorough review when I have more time, but... what happened to the restriction in Self-Destruct Button? Even if you halve the difference needed, that's still 3500 LP, more than the difference between the two.

 

Thank you, glad you think I got of to a good start.

 

I wanted to for the 'Barakus will probably use some big, strapping warrrio.... Fortune Fairies!?!' :lol:

 

Yeah... about that......

[Fusion X. Denver]

That was nice, Urusula was so freaking creepy >.>

I somehow imagine her as pretty though, aside from the bug and eye thing.

And that ending was epic, even though there's a plothole concerning Self Destruct Button.

Can't wait for 32!