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Jake the Sage

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Uhhh...sounds like an awesome book? *Shrugs.*

 

 

It is. A passage from the book,

 

"One day, Brave-Swift-Impetuous-Male heard a story that some giant eight-headed dragon was tormenting a nearby kingdom with its huge-ness and hydra-headed villainy. This beast, who was so huge that trees were growing out of its hide, had apparently decided that the only way it would refrain from devouring the entire population of the kingdom was if the king fed him one delicious princess every year, forever. The king, wanting to do what was in the best interests of his people, appease the monster in this way for seven years, but he only had eight daughters and was understandably concerned when he realized he was rapidly running out of edible princesses.

 

Luckily, Susanoo was there to help. With violence. The out-of-work Japanese thunder/ocean god didn't like the idea of some jackass mountain-sized monster thinking it was better than him, and the prospect of saving princesses is the sort of thing that has always appealed to asskickers of all cultures, no matter how brave, swift, or impetuous they may or may not be. So Susanoo showed up, told the king he was there to save the day, and promptly morphed the princess into a comb, which he then stuck into his now regrown hair like a 1970s Afro pick.

 

While most people probably wouldn't have any idea what the hell to do with an eight-headed, red-eyed dragon that breathes fire (did I mention that he breathed fire? I think he also shot lightning bolts out of his dick like Lo Pan, but I can't seem to find any legitimate sources to verify that last part), Susanoo had a totally awesome plan. First, he cut down a bunch of trees and used the wood to build eight giant towers outside the creature's lair. Then he filled up eight kiddie pool-sized tubs with rice wine, and placed one on top of each tower. The Eight-Headed Serpent of Koshii crawled over to investigate the crazy lumberjackery that was going on, saw all the sake, chugged it, got wasted, and passed out like a lightweight.

 

As soon as the creature was down and out like a freshman during pledge week, Susanoo drunk-shamed the behemoth by going around cutting off all of the heads with mighty blows from his monster-cleaving sword. Before he was even half-finished, the entire land was completely flooded with the blood of the monster, but Susanoo somehow managed to swim through it to complete the job. Inside the corpse of the beast he found another magical sword, the heavenly Sword of Assembled Clouds, which he added to his rapidly increasing collection of magic katanas."

 

Who the hell is Susanoo? :/

 

 

Susanoo is the Japanese God of the Ocean/Thunder

 

 

Trying to see if Brothar can understand the most obvious of responses to those who can look beyond.

Anyways, it sounds really cool.

 

 

Read the above and imagine it being the entire story of Susanoo. That was a single story.

 

 

You just reminded me of...

 

Dat guy.

xD

 

 

Dat guy?

 

Who "dat guy"?

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In other words... go with the flow. No forcing myself down a path that's said to be worth it in the end. No, not that bullcrap. >>

Because you gained virtually nothing that can help you become more than you think you are. The feeling in those words to give you the ability to keep going on is not even there. You also said that, "What I gained from this life..." with is thinking about what you gained. Then you led to the answer,"No". My reason humans live is so that they are able to test themselves to what is more than what people think. By this, you have given up in my book.
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Because you gained virtually nothing that can help you become more than you think you are. The feeling in those words to give you the ability to keep going on is not even there. You also said that, "What I gained from this life..." with is thinking about what you gained. Then you led to the answer,"No". My reason humans live is so that they are able to test themselves to what is more than what people think. By this, you have given up in my book.

 

Alright, you caught me there. I haven't given up, I'm just letting myself loose to ease my frustration.

 

...and if you're already dead, what's the afterlife like?

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Dude I don't suggest "funny" books to people, mainly because humor is subjective and I find a lot of dumb things funny, but this one I suggest everyone reading.

 

Everyone in this book is written that way from Godzilla to f*cking Thor! (XD)

 

EDIT:

 

Yes Brothar it is real. Believe me I couldn't write something like that off the top of my head.

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It's true Thar. Jake isn't that good of a wri-*Stabbed.* God damnit! That actually hurt.

 

I'll check my dad's nook.

 

XD and I actually LOLed.

 

But seriously, I need to get my hands on this book. Where can I find it? (If you say "any book store near you" I will murder a clown.)

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Well you kind've already HAVE brought a Batman to Yugo when you made Nobou become the vigilante Finale.

That's what I've been saying.

He just didn't have the Bat-themed gadgets nor a Clown as an archenemy.

Yeah, you're not my archenemy. :3

 

Nice try Jake but I used that joke on you earlier today. *Tsk tsk tsk.* Also, that was incredibly predictable. <_<

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Murder a clown? (8 /)

 

You can find it at any book store near you

 

Run DF RUN! (XD)

 

LOL I do not see Desu running from me. ;)

 

okay no seriously this is it -> Badass: The Birth of a Legend

Okay. The wording was wrong, that's why. Thanks.

 

and if you don't want to wait this is the dude's website called, of course, Badass of the Week

Nah I'd rather get the book. Reading on the internet is lame and it hurts my eyes.

 

...problem? *trollface*

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