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Shadow Zero

By Shadow Zero
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Nexev Newbie

Nexev

Posted
Posted

So I liek fanfics right? I have a wide range of taste in fics. But this fic was so much s*** that I dun liek it.

 

So I ripped off Crab.

 

FRUITY FANFIC a****** FACTORY by Karkat

 

[spoiler=You suddenly understand everything by Biglulu]

CG: SO NOOBSUCKERS IT IS I, KARTAT VANTAS

CG: AKA THE ONLY FUCKER IN THIS FORUM WITH ANYTHING RESEMBLING TASTE.

CG: SO ANYWAY I HAVE SUFFEREED THROUGH THE WORST OF YOUR HUMAN FANFICTIONS.

CG: THIS WAY I CAN PROVE HOW STUPID YOU HUMANS ARE AND YOU CAN GO KILL YOURSELF FOR YOUR FAILURES.

CG: LIKE YOUR HUMAN JEGUS I AM WASTING MY TIME FOR YOUR SINS, EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE MY TIME IS WORTH ALLOT MORE THEN THAT BEARDED FUCKFACE'S.

CG: BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME, THIS IS ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU SUCK SO LET'S BEGIN.

 

Sollux: I should have killed you on LOBAF when I had the chance. Oh well, guess it's only fitting I'd take you down in ROUND TWO. You ready, prince?

 

Eridan: Bring it mage

CG: OH HEY, I REMENBER THIS SCENCE, GOODY I GET TO SEE MY FRIENDS MAIMED AND MURDERED AGAIN, I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT!

CG: OH WAIT NO I WASN'T BECAUSE I AM NOT A COMPLETE MONSTER OR VRISKA.

 

Eridan takes out his wand, and Sollux prepares to use his lazer eyes. Eridan aims the wand at Sollux, and just as he is about to fire, a sword bursts through his chest, and then is yanked out.

CG: WAIT, WHAT?

 

Eridan falls to the ground, dead.

CG: WAIT, WHAT?

Behind his corpse is a Human, holding a sword which is dripping with purple blood. The Human is wearing a white suit, white pants, and white shoes. He has light brown hair, brown eyes, and looks like he is about 7 sweeps old.

CG: NO, BAD STORY, GO BACK TO EXPLAINING HOW THE FUCK NO ONE NOTICED HIM! DID HE FUCKING TELEPORT! NO ONE GIVES A CRAP ABOUT HIS WHITE PANTS. HE TOOK FASHION TIPS FROM THE GAY LOVECHILD OF A MAGICAL GRENADE AND A FUCKING PUPPET. WOOPITY DOODAH.

 

Sollux: What the f***?! Who are you, where did you come from, and why the hell did you just kill Eridan?

CG: DEAR GOG THANK YOU SOLLUX FOR ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS HERE, SOMEONE IN THIS STORY IS SANE AT LEAST.

CG: IF I WASN'T ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP I WOULD TOTALLY LET YOU BE MY MATESPRITE.

 

Human: Well... I think I'm the guy that saves all of you.

CG: ... MY GOG, I CAN'T BELIVE THERE IS SOMEONE EVEN SMUGER THEN FUCKING STRIDER. THAT IS IT, GAME OVER MAN, f***ing QUITTING.

 

FCG: SORRY PAST ME BUT YOU HAVE TO FINISH THIS, I HAD TO ENDURE IT AND SO DO YOU YOU PILLWEEF

 

Sollux: What?

CG: WHAT?

The Human smiled and replied "I just saved your entire species. Eridan would have killed Feferi and Kanaya, knocked you out, and blown up the Matriorb."

CG: OH GOODY, A FUTURE SEEING PRICK, THAT IS SO STUPID, I AM SICK OF SEEING THESE PEOPLE. DEAR GOG THEY ARE EVERYWHERE IN HOMESTUCK.

 

CG: ...SHUT THE HELL UP.

 

Sollux: How do you know that?!

 

Human: I know quite a bit.

 

Sollux: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

CG: SEE THIS IS WHY SOLLUX IS COOL IN THIS STORY, BECAUSE HIS QUESTIONS MAKE SENSE. EXCEPT OF COURSE HIS LISP IS MISSING, WHICH IS STUPID.

Human: You'll find out, in time.

CG: I HATE THIS GUY, SO VERY MUCH.

 

CG: PLATONICALLY, DEAR GOG IF I SEE ANY OF YOU PULL OUT ANY SHIPPING CHARTS I WILL ACTIVATE A VIRUS THAT KILLS YOUR LUSUS OR SOMETHING.

Sollux: Well you still didn't answer my two other questions! Who are you and where did you come from?

 

Human: My name is Richard, and I'm here to help you. I can't tell you where I came from, that will be revealed at the proper time, although I can say that this isn't how the Alpha timeline is supposed to go.

CG: TRANSLATION: I AM THE AUTHOR INSERT AND I TECHNICALLY DOOMED EVERYONE! ATLEAST JOHN HAD THE BALLS TO APOLOGIZE FOR RUINING OUR LIVES.

 

Kanaya: Wait! So you're saying you doomed us all by "saving our lives"?!

 

Richard: No. Although this is not the Alpha timeline, this is not a doomed one either. Think of this as a secondary main timeline, a "Beta Timeline" if you will.

CG: OH YOU MEAN LIKE THAT OTHER FIC ABOUT AVOIDING THE DOOMED FATE OF THEIR TIMELINE? YOU KNOW? THE ONE THAT DIDN'T SUCK!

CG: GOG THIS IS THE BIGGEST ASSPULL I EVER SEEN, AND I'VE ACTUALLY HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF PLAYING A GAME WITH VRISKA.

 

Karkat: So what now?

CG: ... THAT'S IT? SO WHAT NOW? NO SNARK, NO ANGER AT THE FACT THAT SOME PRESUMPTOUS WIGGLER POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE, KILLED ONE OF MY MAN DESPITE BEING COMPLETLY CAPABLE OF MERELY INCAPACITING HIM.

 

CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS IS ERIDAN WE ARE TALKING ABOUT AND IF WE TELL HIM THAT HE IS SPECIAL HE WILL f***ing ROLL OVER FOR US?

 

CG: NO JUST SO WHAT NOW?

 

CG: f*** YOU FANFIC ME.

 

Richard steps onto the transportalizer.

 

Richard: Kanaya, help Jade turn on the Forge and complete the Ultimate Alchemy.

CG: REMENBER WHEN IT WAS DECIDED THE RANDOM NOOKSUCKER MURDERER GOT TO BE THE LEADER?

CG: THERE WAS A GOGDAMN PARTY AND EVERYTHING?

CG: YEAH I WASN'T THERE, I WAS BUSY BEING INTELLIGENT. DID YOU SAVE ME ANY OF THE GOODYBAGS

 

Karkat: Where are you going?!

 

Richard: I'm going to save the rest of you.

CG: OH GOODY, THE GUY GETS TO PLAY HERO AND SAVE EVEN MORE OF US. THIS MEANS EVEN MORE TROLLS ARE IN DANGER, AND NONE OF US FIND THIS WORRYING BUT ME? OF COURSE NOT, THAT WOULD REQUIRE INTELIGENCE. WHY SOLLUX? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO FAIL US IN OUR TIME OF NEED!

Richard transportalizes away.

 

Gamzee and Karkat then have that conversation where Gamzee goes insane.

 

CG: YES BECAUSE CLEARLY I WOULD NEVER ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT LIKE MENTION TO HIM THAT A RANDOM HUMAN POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE. THAT IS BORING, WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT LIKE TALK ABOUT TEA.

--

 

You are slowly walking down a hallway.

CG: NO, I AM TRYING TO KILL MYSELF TO KEEP ME FROM READING ANY MORE. RICHARD IS THE FUCKING HALLWAY WALKER.

There are some lights broken in the ceiling, causing occasional spooky dark spots for a few meters. You examine your sword. It is a very old sword, passed down through the generations in your family. You guess the sword was alchemized in an ancient session of Sburb, by one of your ancestors.

CG: ...OH GOG. NO PLEASE NO, I CAN HANDLE KANAYA'S DEATH, I CAN HANDLE GAMZEE, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS.

Every member in your family's history has played Sburb. All new members of your family begin training to play Sburb at around five years old.

CG: PLEASE I SWEAR TO GOG, I WON'T EVER SWEAR AGAIN. I FUCKING PROMISE.

 

CG: FUCK!!!!!!!

They are taught fighting skills, data structures, the purpose and rules of the game, and anything else one might need to successfully complete a session. Your sword is similar in design to Dave's Caledscratch, but it is more powerful and the blade can retract, so it can be easily hidden on your person.

CG: A MARY SUE TO END MARY SUES! THERE IS NO GOD! WELL BESIDED THE ELDER GODS BUT FUCK THEM.

 

Suddenly, you hear some honking coming from a distance. You start sprinting towards it, running through the easily confusing maze of hallways and rooms, until you reach the sound. As you arrive, Nepeta has just jumped out of a vent. She flies towards Gamzee, but Gamzee catches her arm. He scratches himself with her claws, just like a true psychopath would.

CG: CLEARLY THE AUTHOR IS WELL LEARNED, EVERY PSYCHOPATH HAS TO LET A AUTISITC CAT GIRL CUT THEIR FACE, OTHERWISE THE OTHER PSYCHOPTAHS PICK ON HIM IN GYM CLASS.

Then Gamzee throws her to the ground, and raises his Deuce Clubs in the air, ready to strike. You decide you will not let him kill any more people,

CG: ANYMORE? WHO ELSE DID HE KILL? THIS FANFIC DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.

so you run right into the gap between them, facing Gamzee. You take out your sword, and extend the blade. Gamzee swings his weapons at you, but you don't even move. Instead, you just lift your sword up and stab him in the throat in an epic and badass manner.

CG: SEE THAT IS NOT EPIC AND BADASS AT ALL, THAT IS STUPID AND PATHETIC.

 

CG: I FEEL BAD FOR GAMZEE NOW, DIEING THAT SHAMEFULLY.

 

CG: ALSO HOW WAS THAT SO EASY? I MEAN COME ON HE'S THE BARD OF RAGE.

 

CG: ONE OF OUR MOST POWERFUL PLAYERS, MIGHT BE TIED WITH A GODTIERED PLAYER?

 

CG: REMENBER?

 

CG: FUCK IT THE AUTHOR PROBBALY WANTED TO SHOW HOW COOL HE IS.

 

You look at Equius' dead body, and swear to yourself under your breath.

CG: WAIT, MR ALL POWERFUL WAS INCAPABLE OF SAVING EQUIUS, BS, HE WAS ONLY SECONDS TO LATE, IF HE DIDN'T WASTE TIME BEING A ARROGANT DICK EQUIUS WOULD STILL BE ALIVE! OR OF COURSE IF HE SHOWED UP EARILIER.

 

CG: a******.

Then you look at Nepeta. She is in the robot pile looking pretty scared. You put a friendly smile on your face and ask her:

 

Richard: Are you okay, Nepeta?

 

Nepeta: Who are you?

 

Richard: I'm Richard, and I'm here to help you.

 

You offer her a hand. She takes it, and pulls herself up on her feet.

 

Nepeta: But you're a Human. How did you even get here?

CG: SEE THE QUESTION EVERYONE IS WONDERING AND THE ANSWER IS....

Richard: I'll explain it to you in a while. Right now we need to go find Terezi and Vriska, and get back to the computer room.

CG: ...THE AUTHOR DID NOT ACTUALLY FIGURE THAT OUT YET! NOW BACK TO ALL KNOWING DOUCHE MODE, JOY.

 

Nepeta: Wait. I wanna saw goodbye to Equius.

 

Richard: Sure.

 

You wait a few minutes while Nepeta goes over to Equius and properly says goodbye.

CG: ... YOU GOT TO BE f***ing JOKING, WHERE IS THE EMOTION? THE HEARTWRENCH, SOMEONE'S SOULMATE WAS JUST SLAIN BEFORE THEIR VERY EYES! TROLL WILL SMITH CRIED FOR HIS MOIRAIL BUT NO WE ARE JUST INFORMED THAT SHE DID SO? f*** YOU WRITER.

 

Then, you and Nepeta exit the hallway. You turn around, take one last look at Equius' and Gamzee's bodies, and then head off.

 

--

 

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG} --

 

GA: Jade.

 

GG: password!

 

GA: CROOOOOOOOOOAK!

 

GG: oh finally! ive been waiting for a while for you to contact me. what do i do now?

 

GA: Did You Get The Right Combination Of Genes For The Frog?

 

GG: yes! ive been done that for quite a while now, i was just sitting here waiting for further instructions from you! it was quite boring

CG: ... DIDN'T SHE SAY IN CANON THAT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE THE FROG? GOODBYE CONTINUITY, TELL GOOD TASTE I SAID HI.

GA: Sorry About Contacting You This Late In The Future

CG: I Mean I Could Just Contact You Anytime I Want But That Would Be Boring So I Decided To Wait. Cause I Am A Lesbian Douchebag.

 

CG: Whatever The Hell That Means.

GA: I Was... Preoccupied.

CG: KANAYA STOP BEING A IDIOT AND UNDERSTATING THINGS. YOU WERE DEALING WITH THE NIGHTMARE OF BEING IN A PIECE OF s***.

GG: its ok i guess :P

 

GG: so what do i do now?

 

GA: You Need To Light The Forge And Complete The Ultimate Alchemy

 

GG: how do i do that?

 

GA: First, Get A Bu- Er, I Mean Container Of Lava From The Land Of Heat And Clockwork.

 

GA: I Will Contact You Again Once You Have It.

 

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG} --

CG: DID SHE ACTUALLY ALMOST SAY THAT? DEAR GOG I THOUGHT SHE WAS FALLING FOR ROSE.

 

CG: WHY IS EVERYONE SO DEDICATED TO STEALING MY SUITS?

 

CG: NOT THAT I LIKE HER AT ALL, SHE IS A FUCKASS.

 

CG: RED ROMANCE IS DEFINITLY WHAT IS NOT HAPPENING HERE.

 

CG: GO AWAY.

--

 

You turn around the corner into Vriska's room. As you have expected, there she was, sitting down beside the big black hole where she recently threw Tavros.

 

Richard: Vriska.

 

Vriska: Wha- Who the hell are you?! How did you get here?

 

Richard: I have no intention of harming you, Vriska. My name is Richard.

 

Vriska: Like I give a s***.

CG: THANK YOU!! DEAR GOG I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT YOUR A COMPLETE b**** YOU ATLEAST HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE!

Richard: Listen, I know that you're upset about killing Tavros.

 

Vriska: How did you know about that?

CG: NO SERIOUSLY, HOW DOES HE? EXPLAIN SUE, EXPLAIN!!!!!!

CG: ALSO THE DAY VRISKA ADMITS EMOTIONAL WEAKNESS TO A COMPLETE STRANGER IS THE DAY I BECOME DAVE'S MATESPRITE.

 

Richard: I know quite a bunch. But listen, that's not important right now. We need to get out of here.

 

Vriska: What's the point of even trying? We're all doomed anyways. We're all going to die.

CG: HOW DOES SHE KNOW THAT? WAIT SHE IS VRISKA, BEING A HUGE b**** IS HER JOB, SHE PROBBALY DOOMED US EARLIER.

Richard: You probably would have before, but you won't anymore.

 

Vriska: Oh? Why not?

CG: BEACUSE THE AUTHOR DECIDED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM SONICHU AND START WRTING HOMESTUCK FICTION.

 

CG: I WISH THAT WAS A JOKE.

Richard: I can help you achieve your goals.

 

Vriska: How can you do that?

CG: THE SAME WAY I DO EVERYTHING! BY NOT EXPLAINING MY PERFECTNESS!

CG: THAT IS WHAT HE SHOULD BE SAYING ATLEAST HE WOULD BE HONEST WITH HIMSELF.

Richard: You'll see. Come on, let's get out of here.

 

Vriska: Um, sure. I just want to be alone for a few minutes, ok?

 

Richard: Ok. Come to the computer room when you're ready.

 

And with that, you walk out of the room.

 

--

 

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG} --

 

GA: Did You Get It?

 

GG: yes, i got the bucket of lava

 

GA: <.<;

 

GG: what?

 

GA: Never Mind

 

GG: ok....

 

GG: so what do i do with this?

 

GA: You Have All Beaten Your Denziens, Right? You Have All The Grist?

 

GG: all of it. we beat them while i was waiting for you to contact me.

 

GA: Good. Climb To The Top Of The Forge, And Take The Frog With The Proper Genetic Code With You.

 

GG: ok

 

GG: ok, im at the top.

 

GA: Now Spill The Lava Into The Crater At The Top

 

GG: ok.

 

GG: whoa! the whole thing just became active!

CG: ... THIS IS A EXTREMLY UNIMAGINATIVE GAME. SERIOUSLY, IT JUST REQUIRED SOME WEIRD LAVA PORN AND YOU AWAKE THE FORGE AND RESHAPE YOUR ENTIRE LAND?

GA: Yes, That Is What Is Supposed To Happen

 

GG: that was kind of surprising, i mean how can one bucket turn on a whole volcano?

 

GA: Im Sorry I Thought It Was Obvious

 

GA: Anyways, Throw All Your Grist Into The Forge

 

GG: you sure? wont it melt?

 

GA: Not If You Do What Youre Supposed To Do

 

GG: ok, i threw it all in

 

GA: Good. Now Throw The Genesis Frog In

 

GG: WHAT?!

 

GA: It Will Complete The Ultimate Alchemy

 

GG: im not going to kill this little cute frog!

 

GA: He Will Not Die, He Will Be Combined With The Grist, Englarged, And Transported Out Into Space.

 

GG: im not going to risk it, i dont want him to burn!

 

GA: Listen, If You Do Not Throw The Genesis Frog Into The Forge In The Next Five Minutes, Then The Grist WILL Melt, And Then We Will All Be Screwed And Wont Get Our Ultimate Reward

 

GA: So Either You Throw That Frog In, Or If We Meet In Person I Will Personally Kill You

 

GG: >:(

 

GG: fine, ill do it

 

GG: there, i threw him in.

 

GG: whoa the whole volcano just turned off again!

 

GA: Good, That Means That You Have Completed The Ultimate Alchemy

CG: It Was Completely Underwhelming, Like Your Human Mother Was Last Night. What's A Mother Anyway?

GA: Good Job Jade. I Will Talk To You Later.

 

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

 

--

 

You are feeling pretty sad right now. Just a few minutes ago, your Moirail was killed by a psychopathic clown right in front of you, and then his throat was slit open by some random Human dude. Now all you're doing is following him around, rounding up all your friends. You are very grateful to him for saving your life, but are also a bit mad at him for being too slow to save Equius'.

CG: JUST A BIT? KILL THE f***er, SAVE US ALL, I SWEAR I WILL EVEN FOLLOW YOUR STUPID SHIPPING CHARTS IF YOU DO.

You follow him around a corner, and there is Terezi- Oh my gog is that Tavros? You are shocked to see Tavros dead like that, covered in his own brown blood.

 

Terezi is examining Tavros' body. It looks like she just finished dusting him for prints.

 

Richard: Hey, Terezi.

 

Terezi quickly spins around, startled. She takes a whiff of the air, and smells that the speaker is human.

CG: BULLSHIT, YOU DON'T NEED TO TURN AROND TO SMELL, IS RICHARD SMELL PROOF, WHY IS HE A f***ing NINJA? HE WEARS WHITE!

Terezi: How did you get here??

 

She lifts up her cane, ready to use it as weapon.

CG: YES, OH GOG YES.

Nepeta: Calm down Terezi. This guy is here to help us.

CG: NO DAMNIT NO!

Terezi: How do you know that? He could be lying, gaining our trust and then SNAP! He kills us all!

 

Nepeta: Well, he did save my life.

 

Terezi: I'm not going to trust a random, lying Human guy!

 

Richard: Do you smell any lying, Terezi?

 

Terezi: I don't know. Say what you're here to do.

 

Terezi prepares to take in some air.

 

Richard: I'm here to save you.

 

Terezi takes a sniff, then takes a moment, and replies:

 

Terezi: No, I don't smell you lying. But I still don't trust you.

CG: IF HE IS NOT LYING WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST HIM, PLUS WHERE IS YOUR GAMES, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL I LOVED, YOUR AS BLAND AS EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS STORY.

 

CG: I AM GOING TO GO CRY.

Richard: That is understandable; I have done nothing to gain your trust yet. I just wanted you to come to the computer room.

 

Terezi: Why? So that we're all in one place and you can kill us all easily?

 

Richard: No, so we can get out of here.

 

Terezi: Ugh, fine. But what about Tavros?

 

Richard: We'll figure out what happened to him later. CG: IT WORKED FOR THE EXPLANATION FOR MY SUENESS.

 

Terezi: Ok, but don't try any funny business.

 

Richard: I never do.

CG: TRUST ME THE RAPE OF GOOD TASTE IS NOT FUNNY, THIS IS A f***ing TRAGEDY, SOMEONE GET THE FUNERAL MINISTRALS.

You all exit the room, and start walking towards the computer room.

 

Nepeta: Richard, can I talk to you?

 

Richard: Sure. Terezi, why don't you go on ahead? We'll catch up.

 

Terezi walks away.

 

Nepeta: Richard, I'm very grateful to you for saving my life, and I wanted to thank you.

 

Richard: I would have done it for anyone, but you're welcome.

 

Nepeta: But, I'm also slightly upset at you for being too slow to save Equius.

 

Richard: Well, there's really nothing I could have done about that, Nepeta. I was running towards where you were at full sprint when I heard the honking, and I could not have gone any faster. Equius was already dead when I arrived.

CG: YOU'VE BEEN ALTERING HISTORY SINCE YOU SHOWED UP, YOU SO TOTALLY COULD HAVE SAVED HIM, YOU COULD HAVE TOLD KARKAT TO NOT SEND EQUIUS AFTER GAMZEE, NOT WASTED TIME ACTING MYSTERIOUS, ETC. BUT NOOOOO, THAT WAS TOO HARD FOR YOU.

Nepeta sighs and lowers her head.

 

Nepeta: Alright, I guess I understand.

CG: THIS IS THE BLANDEST ARGUEMENT OVER PALE HEARTBREAK I EVER SEEN, "I AM ANGRY" "I COULDN'T STOP HIM CAUSE I AM A IDIOT" "OKAY".

 

CG: GROW A PAIR OR SOMETHING NEPETA, RIP HIS f***ing HEAD OFF.

A single tear leaks from one of Nepeta's eyes.

 

Richard puts a hand on her shoulder.

 

Richard: Hey, it's all right. Maybe we can find a way to bring him back somehow in the future.

CG: ... OH GOG, HE MIGHT GET REVIVAL POWERS? THIS IS SO f***ing STUPID.

But look at the bright side: At least you're alive. You've got to be happy about that.

 

Nepeta wipes the tear away.

 

Nepeta: But I'm worried now because I don't have a Moirail anymore, so how am I going to be a balanced person?

CG: ...

 

CG: HAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY THAT WAS FUNNY I ADMIT

 

CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT DID SHE ACTUALLY SAY.

 

CG: ...THAT WAS WHAT SHE SAID WASN'T IT.

 

CG: LOOK I KNOW NEPETA IS AUTISTIC BUT SHOW SOME TASTE, IT DOESN'T MAKE HER HEARTLESS a******.

 

CG: A MOIRAIL IS INFINITLY MORE THEN A THERAPIST DICKWEED, IT IS THE OTHER HALF OF YOU. THEY COMPLETE YOU.

 

CG: THERE JOB IS NOT TO BALANCE YOU, IT IS TO MAKE SURE YOU CAN SEE THE MOON HIGH OVER ALTERNIA AND REALIZE THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE IT CRASH DOWN, END ALL THE SUFFERING YOUR DEALING WITH.

 

CG: THEY GIVE YOU HOPE, THEY PICK YOU UP WHEN YOUR DOWN, LAUGH WITH YOU WHEN YOUR NOT. AND YOU DO THE SAME FOR THEM.

 

CG: SANITY IS JUST THE EMPIRE'S RESONING FOR THEM.

 

CG: THE THOUGHT THAT NEPETA WAS UPSET THAT SHE WOULD NOT BE BALANCED AFTER LOSING EQUIUS DISPLAYS A SHALLOWNESS ONLY TOPPED BY FEFERI DUMPING ERIDAN [AND YOU CAN'T f***ing BLAME HER FOR THAT ONE, IT'S ERIDAN AFTER ALL].

 

CG: THIS IS JUST... EVIL, COLD, SPITEFUL, SELF CENTERED.

 

CG: EVERYTHING NEPETA IS NOT.

 

CG: IN FACT I BRIBED NEPETA WITH A FISH TO SHOW YOU WHAT TO PROPERLY DO WHEN YOUR MOIRAIL DIES.

 

CG: TAKE IT AWAY FUCKFACE.

 

AC: :33 < *the kitty scurries over to the musclebeast and pokes it.*

AC: :33 < come on equius, you said you would be okay. you purrmised! your not allowed to be dead.

AC: :33 < f***, there i said a bad word, you have to get up and yell at me fur it!

AC: :33 < equius?... oh no, who will play with me in the horn pile. who will show me how to paint, even if it's just stupid musclebeast paintings?

AC: :33 < don't you remenber? that was how we met! you kept yelling at me fur shipping you with gamz33 and you sweated in that silly way of yours.

 

i guess you didn't like the thought of being blackrom fur him.

 

i wish i wasn't right.

AC: :33 < ...but you can still stop him! after all you can't be dead! your too strong to die. you can't leave me all alone like this right?

 

not like what aradia did to you. right?

 

purrease?

CG: THANK YOU, NOW GO AWAY.

Richard: Well, if you ever need to talk about something, I'm here, ok? I can help you with anything you need for the time being.

CG: ... DID EQUIUS DIE JUST FOR RICHARD/NEPETA SHIPPING? I AM TOO DISGUESTED FOR WORDS.

Nepeta: Thanks...

 

Nepeta and Richard just stand there in the hallway for a few minutes.

 

Nepeta: I think I'm ready to continue,

 

Richard: Good.

 

Richard: Come on; let's get back to the computer room.

 

--

 

Karkat: Are you sure we can trust this guy? I mean, he just transportalizes in, kills Eridan, and then leaves!

CG: NO YOU CAN'T, BUT f*** IT YOU WILL WIND UP DOING SO ANYWAY.

Sollux: At least he did the dirty work for me. That snob wasn't a worthy opponent for me.

 

Feferi: Do you really believe the things he said, about Eridan killing us and dooming our race?

 

Sollux: I don't know what to believe. Eridan was talking about joining Noir, so if he did not kill us then than he would've told Noir where we're hiding and he would probably kill us.

 

Kanaya: But he was the Prince of Hope! Why would he kill us and destroy the Matriorb.

 

Feferi: He was saying that there was no hope left. He could have lost all hope and just given up. In his view, joining Noir would be the only way to survive.

 

Karkat: But how the hell did that random dude know all that?!

CG: BECAUSE HE IS A CHEATING WHORE, JUST LIKE HIS HUMAN MOTHER.

Kanaya: I don't know, but he seems sincere on helping us. He did tell me to talk Jade through the Ultimate Alchemy. That is a part of our goals. So far he is helping us.

 

Karkat: Oh come on, you could have talked Jade through doing that s*** anytime you wanted to.

 

Kanaya: True, but if what he was saying is true, and Eridan would have killed us, then I wouldn't have done it.

 

Karkat: Well we don't know if his information is credible, or even is he is trustworthy.

 

Feferi: True. Let's just play along for now, see what his intentions are. We'll keep an eye on him.

 

Karkat: Fine...

 

The transportalizer activates. It's Terezi.

 

Terezi: Guys! Travos is dead!

 

Everyone in the room is shocked by this STUNNING REVELATION.

 

Karkat: What?! How did he die?!

 

Terezi: He had a big hole in his chest, and he fell down from above. I think Vriska did it.

 

Karkat: How do you know it was Vriska?

 

Terezi: She's the most likely suspect. Plus, above Travos' body is Vriska's room.

 

Karkat: That's true...

CG: WHY IS EVERYONE SO BLAND? I HAVEN'T EVEN INSULTED SOMEONE.

Terezi: Oh, and who's that random Human dude?

 

Karkat: We don't know. He's some guy that transportalized in here and killed Eridan.

 

Terezi notices the smell of Eridan's blood and dead body.

 

Terezi: What the hell?! He just gave me a bullshit speech about being here to help us!

 

Kanaya: I think he is. Eridan was going to join Noir.

 

Terezi: Seriously?

 

Kanaya: Yes. Eridan was about to fight Sollux when the Human stabbed him. He claimed that Sollux would have lost the fight, killed me and Feferi, and doomed our race by destroying the Matriorb.

 

Terezi: Where did he get this information?

 

Karkat: He didn't say.

 

Terezi: Then how can we trust him?

CG: BY BEING IDIOTS IT'S YOUR EXPERTISE.

Karkat: We're just going to play along for now, see what he wants to do.

 

Terezi: What if it's a trap?

 

Karkat: Hopefully we'll be able to see it before he springs it and get out of trouble. We're all going to keep an eye on him.

 

Terezi: Sounds fine.

 

The transportalizer activates again. It's Richard and Nepeta.

 

Nepeta: Hi Karkat! :3

CG: RATHER HAPPY FOR SOMEONE WHO LOST A MOIRAIL.

Karkat: Where the hell have you been Nepeta?

 

Nepeta: Oh, I was in Equius' room. And about that....

 

Nepeta: Equius and Gamzee are dead.

 

Karkat: Did Gamzee attack you?! Are you ok?!

 

Nepeta: Yes, I'm fine. How did you know Gamzee would attack me?

 

Karkat: I didn't know who he was going to attack, but I knew he would attack someone. He had a conversation with me earlier, it sounded like he went insane and wanted to kill everyone.

 

Karkat: Wait, how did Gamzee die? Did you kill him?

 

Nepeta: No, Richard did. He saved my life.

 

Nepeta notices Eridan's body.

 

Nepeta: What happened to Eridan?

 

Karkat: Richard killed him. Apparently he was going to kill Kan and Fef and doom our race.

 

Nepeta: Was he?

 

Karkat: I'm not sure, but he was talking about joining Noir and he was about to fight Sollux.

 

Nepeta: Wow...

 

Kanaya: Guys, I'm going to go hatch the Matriorb.

 

Richard: No, not yet.

 

Kanaya: Why not?

 

Richard: This isn't a good place. We need to get into the kids' session and hatch it in the new Universe.

 

Kanaya: How are we going to do that?

 

Richard: Leave that to me.

 

Richard: Terezi, can you tell Dave to hurry up and get the map to the Green Sun? I'm going to tell John to hurry up and get The Tumor.

CG: SEE, HOW DID HE BECOME LEADER AGAIN?

Karkat: Wait, John doesn't know you.

 

Richard: I'll introduce myself.

CG: f*** ASKING SOMEONE ELSE TO TELL HIM TO HURRY UP! THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE!

Richard sits down in front of a computer.

 

-- midgetTigger [MT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

 

MT: Hello John.

 

EB: have we talked before?

 

MT: No, we have not.

 

EB: who are you?

 

MT: My name is Richard. I'm with the Trolls.

 

EB: richard? that doesnt sound like a troll name.

 

MT: Yeah I know.

 

MT: Listen, do you remember Rose's plan to blow up the Green Sun?

 

EB: yeah, she wanted me to get the tumor.

 

MT: Well can you hurry up please? I need you to have it within the next five hours.

 

EB: why?

 

MT: I have a better plan to destroy the Green Sun, one which doesn't involve Rose blowing herself up.

 

EB: wait, rose was going to blow herself up?

 

MT: Well, her dreamself. She would've taken The Tumor that you would have given her, gotten a map to the Green Sun from Dave, used her dreamself to go there, and then blown it up. Her dreamself would've died in the explosion

 

EB: O_O

 

MT: At the time, it seemed like a decent plan. There was no other alternative. Now we have an alternative though, so she doesn't have to do it anymore.

 

EB: what is the alternative?

 

MT: I can blow up the Green Sun without getting killed.

 

EB: How?

 

MT: You'll see.

 

MT: Anyways, I need The Tumor in five hours. Can you do that for me?

 

EB: ill try

 

MT: Good. Also, pester Rose and tell her she doesn't have to run with the plan anymore, I can't reach her for some reason.

 

EB: ok

 

-- midgetTigger [MT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

 

Karkat: Hehe, nice handle.

CG: NO IT'S NOT, IT'S A DUMB HANDLE.

Richard smiles

 

Richard: I think so too.

 

The transportalizer activates. It's Vriska.

 

Vriska: I'm ready. Are we leaving?

 

Richard: Yup.

 

Terezi: Wait. Vriska, where were you all this time?

 

Vriska: I was in my room.

 

Terezi: Aha! I've got you now! You killed Tavros!

 

Vriska: Killed Tavros? What?

 

Terezi: Don't play dumb with me! A few minutes ago Tavros fell down from above into the room which I was in! Directly above that room is yours! So you just admitted to killing Tavros!

 

Vriska: He attacked me! It was self-defence!

 

Everyone in the room except Richard was thoroughly shocked by this STUNNING REVELATION!

CG: OH MY GOD VRISKA KILLED SOMEONE SHE HATED! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SUPRISED SINCE I LOOKED DOWN AND SAW I HAD PANTS ON.

Karkat: What... You mean you actually killed him? Oh my gog... What else have you done?!

 

Vriska: Nothing, I swear!

 

Terezi sat down at Vriska's computer. She began looking through her pester logs. Suddenly, she was furious.

 

Terezi: You prototyped Earth's First Guardian?! YOU CREATED BEC NOIR!!?

CG: IT TOOK HER THAT LONG TO FIGURE IT OUT? SHE'S THE SEER OF MIND! I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE JUST KNEW THAT SHE HAD TO KEEP THE TIMELINE STABLE SO VRISKA HAD NO CHOICE. THAT OR IT WOULD BE ALLOT HARDER TO TRACK DOWN. WHICH IT CLEARLY ISN'T.

Vriska: I had no choice! I had to do it because I already did it in the future! If I didn't then we would all be doomed!

 

Terezi: That's the biggest bullshit excuse I have ever heard! CG: SHE'S GOT A POINT, RICHARD ALREADY PROVED TIME LOOPS ARE ONLY NESSECERY WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO BE.

We would have been doomed?! Well guess what?! We're doomed even more now! Bec Noir is going to kill us all!

 

Richard: No he isn't.

 

Terezi: SHUT UP!!!

CG: WE WILL HAVE NO OPTIMISIM HERE! THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE WHO DON'T CRAWL OVER AND DIE DO!

 

Terezi: What else have you done Vriska?!

 

Vriska: Nothing!

 

Terezi: Get out! Leave now! I never want to see you again!

CG: SHE CAN'T SEE HER AGAIN! SHE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING! DID YOU FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE CHARACTERS!

 

Vriska: I had no choice! I had to do it!

 

Terezi: Oh, really? I assume that you had to blind me too, hmm?! You had to kill Aradia?! Did you also have to cripple Tavros, and then kill him?!

CG: I THOUGHT TEREZI LIKED BEING BLINDED, WHY IS SHE SO MAD AT THAT NOW?

 

Vriska: Those things needed to happen!

 

Terezi: BULLSHIT! GET OUT NOW!!

 

 

Vriska: But it wasn't me! I was manipulated by-

 

Terezi: LEAVE!

 

Vriska runs off into the transportalizer.

 

Richard: Vriska!

 

Richard chases after her.

 

Nepeta: Anyone up for some orange creamsicles?

 

Terezi: ...

 

Kanaya figures that she'll answer Doc Scratch now.

 

-- ??? [] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

 

Mr. Vantas.

 

GA: Why Are You Contacting Karkat On My Account?

 

-- ??? [] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

 

Doc Scratch has a heart attack. Not that that would do anything, but still...

CG: SO THE OMNISCENT GUY HAS NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON EITHER? OR HE IS SO TERRIFIED HE HAD A HEART ATTACK? EITHER WAY, I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

 

WHO AM I KIDDING, I ALWAYS HAD A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

--

 

You are chasing after Vriska. Under normal circumstances, you would probably just let her go and cry in a corner, but these aren't normal circumstances. You need every surviving team member to stop being gogdamn blubbering pansies and start working together like a proper team. CG: HOW DARE PEOPLE HAVE EMOTIONAL ISSUES! NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO BE 3D CHARACTERS, I AM ONLY HALF A DIMENSION SO SHOULD EVERYONE ELSE!

 

Richard: Vriska, wait!

 

She doesn't stop. She is making random turns and twists, trying as hard as she can to lose you, but you aren't going to let her get away. You keep running for another minute, but what feels like an eternity. Finally, she turns into a dead-end room. You run in behind her, and try to grab her.

 

Vriska: Get away from me! Leave me alone!!

 

Richard: Calm down Vriska!

 

She struggles, and tries to break free.

 

Richard: Vriska! Calm down! Stop fighting me, I want to help you!

 

Vriska: How are you going to help me?!

 

Richard: Just calm down, we'll talk about it.

 

Vriska: There's nothing to talk about!

 

She tries to break free again with a big pull.

 

Richard: Stop it!

 

You grab her by the shoulders, but she hits your arms and breaks free. She starts running towards the door, but you shoot the control panel with your concealed pistol, and the door slams shut in front of her.

 

Vriska: Let me go!

 

Richard: Just calm down.

 

Vriska: Stop telling me to calm down, damn it!

 

Richard: Listen, I know you're upset, but we need to start working together if we're going to get anything done.

 

Vriska: It's hard. It's hard being in this position and nobody understands. CG: WHY IS VRISKA OPENING UP TO THIS GUY? SHE IS INCAPABLE OF OPENING UP TO ANYONE, BESIDED JOHN OF COURSE, BUT RICH IS A COMPLETE STRANGER.

 

Richard: I do.

 

Vriska: How could you?

 

Richard: I was in your position too. I was manipulated by Earth's First Guardian? CG: I THINK AT LEAST, IT MIGHT HAVE JUST BEEN A CAT.

 

Vriska: Bec?

 

Richard: No, I'm not from the same Earth as the kids are. I'm from a different Universe than them entirely. For some weird reason, Earth and the Human species existed in two universes. CG: IT'S SO THE AUTHOR INSERT COULD BE SPECIAL.

Anyways, the point is that I was also manipulated by my Earth's first guardian. He made me do things that I would not even consider doing, all because it apparently "needed to be done" so that our planet's destiny could be fulfilled. Personally, I think it was a bunch of bullshit.

 

Vriska: What did he make you do?

 

Richard: Hurt my friends, mostly. Like you.

 

Vriska: How did you forgive yourself?

 

Richard: I didn't. And you probably won't either, but now that you've realised that he was manipulating you, you can stop him next time he tries to do it.

 

Vriska: I don't think I'm STRONG enough.

 

Richard: Sure you are, you were an even match for him back on Alternia.

CG: UM... NO, NO SHE WASN'T.[/colo

 

Vriska: I suppose you're right... But I still killed Tavros by myself. I know that I didn't have to killed him I was just SO ANGRY!

 

Ricahrd: Well in your culture that's acceptable. Why are you so worked up about it?

 

Vriska: I guess I'm becoming multicultural with the humans. He was also my friend. I cared about him.

 

Richard: I understand. You were angry because when you asked him to kill you, he didn't, and let you painfully bleed to death. Now, when you didn't ask him to kill you, he was going to do it, which made you angry.CG: HOW DOES HE KNOW ALL OF THIS, IS HE A STALKER OR SOMETHING? AND WHY IS THE HUMAN SO ACCEPTING OF TROLL CULTURE?

 

 

Vriska: Yes, but I could've easily disarmed him.

 

Richard: Don't beat yourself up about it. What's done is done, and we have no Time players here. You can't change what happened.

 

Vriska sighs.

 

Vriska: I'm just upset.

 

Richard: That's understandable, and you probably won't get over it. But can we stop this murdering stupidity and work together now?

 

Vriska: I'm all for it.

 

Richard: Good, let's get out of here.

CG: ... THAT f***ing WORKED? REALLY? THIS IS A REAL THING THAT HAPPENED? WOW. JUST WOW.

Vriska: How? You shot the door.

 

Richard: No problem.

 

You take out a laser cutter, and fire it at the door. In a matter of seconds, the laser cutter cuts through the door like a hot knife through butter. You and Vriska both go through and go to the transportalizer.

 

You usually don't like to do thing like this. Lie to someone about things like that. You were never manipulated by your world's First Guardian, but you needed to make Vriska feel better, and that did it.

CG: CONGRATS, THE ONLY SIGN OF EMOTIONAL COMPLEXITY AND NOT COMPLETE SUE BACKSTORY RICHARD HAD WAS REPLACED WITH "I AM A MANIPULATIVE f***" POWERS.

Richard: Hop on.

 

You activate the transportalizer. You are in a round half-cylindrical hallway, the top being glass, with steel reinforcement beams curving up to the roof every few meters.

 

You can see Skaia, and most of the other planets through the glass. At the other end of the hallway, there is a heavy door with a keypad beside it.

 

Vriska: What is this place? I've never seen this before.

 

Richard: It's an airlock.

 

Vriska: We're going into space with no suits or anything?

 

Richard: No. Just wait here for a few minutes; I'm going to go get the others.

 

Vriska: Wait, they'll get mad at me again.

 

Richard: Just ignore them for now.

 

You transportalize back to the computer room. Everyone is sitting around eating orange creamsicles.

 

Richard: Ok guys, ready to go?

 

Karkat: Where's Vriska?

 

Richard: She's already there.

 

Terezi: We're bringing a murderer along with us?

CG: RECORDS NOT SO CLEAN YOURSELF TEREZI.

 

Richard: She won't hurt anyone else; I'll make sure of it. Plus she seems pretty sincere on not being a murderer anymore. Also, it wasn't her fault; she was manipulated by Doc Scratch.

 

Terezi: Whatever, she still did it.

 

Richard: True. I promise she won't hurt anyone anymore, ok? Now let's get going.

 

Everyone gets onto the transportalizer. You transportalize to the airlock.

CG: ... THIS IS THE MOST GULLIBLE BUNCH OF TROLLS I EVER SAW, WHO ARE THESE DWEEBS OH WAIT, US. I HATE MYSELF EVEN MORE NOW.

 

Nepeta: *ac wonders why we didn't find this before.*

 

Richard: The code to this transportalizer is encrypted. CG: LUCKILY I SOMEHOW KNEW IT ANYWAY. I AM SPECIAL LIKE THAT.

 

Nepeta: *ac wonders why it would be encrypted*

 

Richard: Don't ask me, I didn't build this place. :P CG: NO GET THAT f***ing SMILE AWAY FROM HERE, YOU MAN UP AND EXPLAIN. f*** YOU WON'T WILL YOU?

 

You walk up to the door at the other end of the hallway. You plug your password decoder into the keypad, and a few seconds later, the door opens. Docked with the airlock is a small, white shuttlecraft. The whole interior of the shuttlecraft is white: The seats, the control consoles, the steering stick, pretty much everything except the windows. The exterior is also white.

 

Richard: Everyone hop in.

 

Vriska: You know how to pilot this thing?

 

Richard: Yup. CG: AFTER ALL I KNOW EVERYTHING REMENBER?

 

Everyone boards the shuttlecraft. There aren't enough seats for everyone, so some people are left standing.

 

Nepeta: *ac wonders if she can co-pilot*

 

Richard: Um... sure, I can teach you to fly this thing while we're going to where we need to go.

 

Nepeta: Yay!

 

Nepeta takes a seat in the co-pilot's chair.

 

Karkat: Where are we going, exactly?

 

Richard: You'll see.

 

Karkat: I don't like to get in a random ship without knowing where we're going.

 

Richard: Aww c'mon dude, it's a surprise, don't ruin it! :P

CG: YEAH GO ABOARD MY UNMARKED WHITE SPACESHIP AND GO TO A UNKNOWN LOCATION, YOUR ONLY SIX.

 

CG: HOW IS THIS NOT GOING TO END WITH US RAPED?

Kanaya whispers to Karkat:

 

Kanaya: I have a good feeling about this guy; so far he's just helped us.

 

Karkat: So?

 

Kanaya: I'm asking you to trust him.

 

Karkat: Ugh, fine.

 

Richard: Everyone ready?

 

You press some buttons on the overhead panel, and the door to the airlock closes, and so does the door of your shuttlecraft.

 

Richard: Here we go!

 

You press some more buttons. The engines turn on, and the consoles light up. They display your speed, shield strength, armor strength, and weapon status. They also contain your navigational computer, which allows you to plot courses. You plot a course to the other side of the Incipisphere, past The Veil, to very specific coordinates. You push the throttle lever up to full, and then put the ship on auto-pilot.

 

Richard: It'll take us about ten minutes to get there.

 

For those ten minutes, you explain to Nepeta how enough of the stuff works so that she will be able to pilot the craft, if she ever needs to; which you assume will be never.

CG: WHY NOT TEACH SOLLUX, YOU KNOW, THE GUY GOOD WITH COMPUTERS? WHO COULD PROBBALY JACK UP THE COMPUTER'S CPU TO MAKE IT RUN BETTER OR SOMETHING? YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVERMIND, ME AND LOGIC ARE GOING TO GET DRUNK.

The other Trolls just chat amongst themselves, except Vriska. She's just sitting alone in a corner of the ship, head down. You feel sorry for her, and hope that the other Trolls can forgive her.

 

Nine minutes later, you are just passing through The Veil. Outside your window, there's a tiny dot a few thousand kilometers away from you. There's also a little green blip on your radar.

 

Karkat: What's that?

 

Richard: That's where we're going.

 

As you get closer, the tiny dot gets bigger. It becomes a small white dot, and then gets bigger, and bigger, until it reveals itself to be a ship. It's exterior is also completely white, like the shuttlecraft, except this ship is way bigger, a few kilometers in length, at least.

CG: I NORMALLY WOULD COMPLAIGN ABOUT HOW STUPID IT IS THAT HE DIDN'T JUST TRANZPORTALIZE INTO THE BIGGER SHIP BECAUSE SOMETHING THAT BIG SHOULD HAVE ATLEAST THAT BASE TECH IF IT IS WORTH IT'S BOONBUCKS, BUT I AM WAY TO DRUNK TO CARE.

 

 

Nepeta: Wow, that's a big ship!

 

You smile.

 

Richard: It is indeed.

CG: SO THIS FICTION SUCKS, THE CHARATERS ARE 2D, THE OC IS A COMPLETE SUE, THE BACKSTORY FOR HIM IS NONEXISTANT OR EXTREMLY ANNOYING. AND f*** HIM FOR WRITING THIS, f*** ME FOR READING IT, AND f*** THIS SICKLE FOR NOT BEING SHARP ENOUGH FOR ME TO CUT MY HEAD OFF WITH.CG: SO THIS FICTION SUCKS, THE CHARATERS ARE 2D, THE OC IS A COMPLETE SUE, THE BACKSTORY FOR HIM IS NONEXISTANT OR EXTREMLY ANNOYING. AND f*** HIM FOR WRITING THIS, f*** ME FOR READING IT, AND f*** THIS SICKLE FOR NOT BEING SHARP ENOUGH FOR ME TO CUT MY HEAD OFF WITH.

 

 

 

*faint*

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The Warden Enthusiast

The Warden

Posted
Posted

I don't think first guardians are capable of transcending dimensions. If they could Jack would've returned back to the kid's time, although, his need to kill would've rooted him in troll land.

 

Doc Scratch is only ever expecting two guests, Sn0wman or Lord English.

 

EDIT: Broken: Read the above post.

 

*Reads* Jesus f**king f**k on a giant f**king cake made of f**k. F**k you Nex, and f**k me for actually reading that piece of f**k.

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Proto Newbie

Proto

Posted
Posted

Well I was HALF-right....

 

Or maybe a Quarter right....

 

EDIT: BLOODY HELL THAT WAS HORRIBLE

 

I THOUGHT HOMESTUCK WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IMMUNE TO THIS

 

But still, I have read worse, and when you get over the fact it's about homestuck it's just your typical badfic.

 

Nice review Karkles.

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fenrir Newbie

fenrir

Posted
Posted

Oh, and Fenrir. I have another character to add to The Felt. I'll have you add him in later.

 

Character as in another character belonging to you or character as in another player?

 

I'm presuming it's the latter.

 

What did I f***ing say about recruiting?

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Nexev Newbie

Nexev

Posted
Posted

Still Jack.

 

Oh and I read that before Nex. Self-insert fic much? x___x

I pointed that out allot in the review I think.

 

If anything the one thing was it inspired me to make a story.

 

It was orignially a nexdit but got so off track that the only similarity is that they take place at the same time.

 

And that the Eridan murder thing was interupted.

 

This story rather then richard it was a AU Eridan. This one, Eridan Zahack, is still a douchebag, but one of the less annoying kinds. Overdramatic person being raised by a butler made him Bruce Wayne instead of a evil buttmonkey.

 

Including being battroll, (though he is still childish).

 

This guy would have been fun to write. As the prince of void he pretty much would have been the kind of guy who does a victory dance whenever he beats someone and high fives people whenever they do a good insult (and moping when no one high fives him).

 

Then I figured that since Eridan is not a complete idiot he would have brought along others, namely Equius Zahack (who while maintaining his super serious demenour has dreams of being a comedian (meaning he actually jokes allot but deadpans it so no one tells)) and Tavros Vantas (who is loud, bossy, and allot more like karkat then Tavros, still hard to actually make him angry.

 

These would have also been fun to write, atleast Equius, Tavros I didn't flesh out in my head enough for him to be fun or not.

 

And then there was actually going to be a plot and stuff, with reasons for why stuff happened, and good reasons.

 

For example, AU Eridan appeared to recruit the canon trolls. Because while they won thier game, their universe is being attacked by Lord English, the great Frog Eater and God of Derse.

 

Since LE can only be killed by glitches in time they need the canon trolls because since they are both doomed (a fate adverted however by being in a seperate universe) and from a timeline that doesn't even EXIST in their universe, meaning that the canon trolls are capable of harming LE.

 

The AU trolls got to the canon timeline through the efforts of Terezi Mayram and Vriska Megido, two godtiered trolls who as Seer of Space and Theif of Time were able to pretty much teleport people to any where and when throughout paradox space.

 

Unfortuantly I will probbaly never make this story ever.

 

So this is the last you will hear of it.

 

Edit: Fen, LE is immune to anything but time cheats.

 

Cal has been ripped to shreds, twice even.

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