DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 29, 2010 Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 [center][b]Yu-Gi-Oh! The Failtroll Legacy[/b][/center] See, I've always been thinking of making my own YGO fanfic. But I generally suck at making cards people say are balanced, and I can't write a single page in complete seriousness, font size 10.5 in Microsoft Word 2007. In addition I hate Duel Academia stories. Originality was important. So I will present to you guys, [u]Yu-Gi-Oh! The Failtroll Legacy[/u], where the main character happens to be me, of all people. Me in real life. 5 points to all [b]constructive[/b] commenters, regardless of whether you're going to revenge me for a foe fic or not. Come forth, activeness. [i]NOTE-Many sentences have grammar mistakes. Most are on purpose. For instance, I wrote "On my way back from the locals". This is because I would rather say this over "I was on my way back from the locals" in real life. NOTE 2-My real name isn’t Kenta Yannai. My first name is Kenta all right, but only people who gain access to my e-mail address can know my last name. Well, and I do have a friend named Yannai.[/i] [spoiler=Chapter 1. The evil man of death and doom who runs Battle Ox and Sakuretsu Armor] I turned the corner in the dark, narrow alleyways, the nearest way towards home, jogging for no apparent reason except to look cool against a nonexistence camera, all in the name of extreme narcissism and excessive troll behavior. On my way back from the locals. Had lost in the first around against Six Samurai. Die, Gateway, Die. I hope the retarded load of s*** gets limited next format. And the Shi En has to let me activate Moon. Screw his ridiculous negotiation. Whoever made them must be addicted to magical mushrooms. I mean, I can kill him, but it takes ridiculous time. And I almost bumped into someone. He had green hair. My first impression was that. Jeez, seriously. Green hair. Green friggin hair. Friggin green hair. Who the hell in this world has green hair from birth? I mean, I can name various people with green hair in the two-dimensional world. I suppose otaku cosplayers also wear wigs like that, or dye their hair. But you know, I supposed those people didn’t live around here. Now where was I? Oh, yes. The guy had green hair. He wore a necklace of gold, which along with his impossible hair, was really dazzling for my hyperactive eyes. I supposed it wasn’t fraud. Since verbally speaking, it was quite possible to take the paragraph above as “he wore only a necklace of gold, and otherwise was nude”, I’ll add he had a skintight black suit, turtleneck, to it seemed almost like the Ghouls in the Duel Monsters Anime. His face was weird. Eyes were hollow, unseeing, darting through the air, in eternal pursuit of an invisible mosquito. Cracked, purple lips. Ghostly white skin. I could have described it as a skeleton, but that’s so orthodox I wouldn’t. By the way, he was pretty much a skeleton. His face seemed sort of like in-between man and woman, if that makes sense, except it doesn’t because that’s just stupid. Well, generally I should have called the being as in it, not he, but hey, that’s just some ingenuous poetic technique. And why did I think it was a man? Because, you know, you can look at the chest that was as flat as a Pot of Duality concealed inside seven card protectors, making its pic almost indistinguishable from Mountain. I supposed even the smallest chesticles had some stuff. And on his left hand was a duel disk. What. He wore a duel disk? What? Yes. He wore a duel disk. It was a duel disk all right. A black one. My definition of duel disk was a typical made in china product eight-year-olds running three Battle Ox force their miserable parents to buy for Christmas and birthday presents, each one costing a horrifying 30 dollars for no evident explanation, given no one actually cares to use it after three days of torment from the depressing weight, and card board plus plastic plus several rare children’s trading cards didn’t get even close in value, even if you included payroll. In short, it was just plain stupid. But this man in front of me had it. What was more, it didn’t seem so plastic. It seemed more metallic. And given normal people wouldn’t rub oil onto their toys (though I highly doubted this person was normal), it wasn’t a toy, probably. Then what was it? That was when the man raised the left hand. With bony fingers of abnormal length, he pressed a button on the machine that I somehow felt cost more than 30 dollars. He pressed another. His mouth creaked open. “Duel,” he croaked. I ran away. I mean, I suppose that was the most natural thing to do. I don’t remember ever running faster than then. Maybe because the jacket I was wearing was red. The man followed, but he was slow. Green wasn’t that fast. I ran left. Right. Right. Left. Right. I abbreviate the following for originality’s sake. Then, suddenly, the most typical and wretchedly traditional way of having the ikemen main character stop in his tracks appeared before me. IT’S A DEAD END! Whooo!! Ya-Hoo!! Protip: When you’re running in alleys, get out. I turned around. The man stood there, hollow eyes bulging; mouth twisted in a crooked smile; green hair pointing; legs swaggering and stumbling every step as though he was of advanced age. He took several steps forward. “Duel, Third.” I looked uneasily to my right. A dumb wall. To my left. A wall, except even dumber. I turned back. The dumbest wall of all, with graffiti scribbling with adult oriented words most kids would love from heart. “Hey,” I laughed artificially. Maybe it was because I only picked the primal antagonist in school plays and my only real trend was the mad cackling I can make, which wasn’t exactly what I’d want here. It was only to be used when you killed everyone to avenge your blond boyfriend in a village where a shrine god with curses is worshipped. “Hey, jeez. Can I go home? I mean, like, my mom’ll kill me. Higurashi fashion. Please?” I half-expected the man to say he’ll let me go if I say sorry a thousand times. Apparently there was a limit to the number of Ryukishi 07 references you can make in a single chapter, because the man replied with another simulated “You must duel”. “I don’t have a duel disk,” I raised my hands. The man pointed at my jacket. In my right pocket was my deck. I had a bad feeling. “Duel,” the man croaked. “The singular option.” I seriously wondered what the hell was making him so addicted to a children’s card game, but since he didn’t look all that healthy, I expected him to have injection marks somewhere on his body. “Hey, seriously. Let me out.” The man switched a button on his duel disk. “A duel of darkness.” “Oh god, you don’t watch 4kids dubs. I feel we can go together. So let me out please?” “No,” the man said. “Your time is up.” I was an atheist at heart, though I never bragged about it. This wasn’t happening. As I watched, purple lines of light spread from the man. They shot across the walls of the alley, seeped in below me. Everywhere around me the lines glowed. A black duel disk, similar to the other man’s, materialized on my left hand. I pinched my cheek. Ow. Come to think of it, it was a stupid thing to do. Even if I was dreaming, the nightmare would have no harm upon me, so waking up was useless. If I was awake, it would just hurt me. Damn, how can I not be so logical? The man raised a hand. “My turn.” “Don’t forget rock paper scissors.” “I draw a card,” the man went on completely ignoring my rather fair common sense. “I set a monster and a facedown. I end my turn.” [i]Damn,[/i] I thought. [i]I never knew anime characters existed. Or, at least, people like anime characters. And he might kill me. But well, as long as I win it’s ok. I suppose I can beat him as long as he uses the kind of decks anime characters use…[/i] “Hey,” I called, raising the duel disk. “Can I take this off? It weighs a ton.” The man was silent. “Whatever,” I sighed. “If I run away right now what would happen?” “Death,” the man opened his cracked lips. “Hell, I feel so awesome today.” I drew the cards reluctantly. I should probably get this over with easily. My eyes widened upon looking at my opening hand. I glanced at the monitor on the duel disk. 4000. A short laugh escaped from my mouth. “Ah,” I grinned. “You’re so dead." [center].....................[/center] A minute later, I stood there in the alleyway, looking at the purple lines that were fading away into the body of the man lying there, panting in horror, blinking at his duel disk. The number 0 was imprinted upon it. “Impossible,” he whispered. “Impossible!” “Hey,” I called. “I won. Can I get out?” It was by sheer luck of a main character that I managed to draw a Lonefire Blossom along with 3 Supervises and a Gigaplant, enabling me to Synchro Summon 3 times instantly along with a SS-ed Gigaplant, destroy the spell/trap with Black Brutdrago by discarding the Gigaplant in hand, incinerate the facedown monster with the Scrap Dragon (destroy Black Brutdrago for the lulz), and attack directly with the Scrap Dragon, second Black Brutdrago, Stardust, and Gigaplant. To be exact I used just Gigaplant and Stardust for Gorz and Trag’s sakes, but the stupid anime character didn’t own them. By the way, my monsters that materialized for some unknown reason were all squished up in the alleyway, so it didn’t look the cool way OTK in mangas do. Three dragons and a giant plant, all crammed up in five meters. Not a good sight. “…Gahh…Aah…As told,” the man mumbled to himself. “Sir…do you hear me...? The Second World’s inhabitants are unthinkable strong. I cannot –” The next second, he exploded into gray dust, was blown away. Nothing was left save for his duel disk. I walked over, picked the cards up. But the next second, I threw it away. The first hand I saw promised me that YCM members with 0 post count can have better decks. Battle Ox (Grave) Sakuretsu Armor (Grave) Beaver Warrior Nitro Synchron Ryu-Kishin Dragon Treasure I looked around several times, blinking at the man's utter stupidity and failtrollness. Then, I headed – towards home, I would have said under normal circumstances. But this time I went to the hospital instead after calling mom saying I felt sick. [/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 2. Hell, Someone Actually Runs Raviel] As it turned out, much to my confusion, my brain was normal according to the doctors. My mother told me to stop kidding the way all mothers who give birth to kids who get involved in the supernatural do. She also said I should stop watching the Yugioh anime. I told her 5D’s started to fail badly after the Dark Signers died, and right now it was a bunch of dead fillers no one has pleasure in watching. Ah, adults never learn. Even Walt Disney agreed upon that. He was quite unique in how he was aware of his own creations, each of them horribly censored. (Off-Topic Fun Facts: In the original tale, Cinderella commits three convicted murders before marriage, and Snow White was born from an underage queen who was attacked by Pedo Rape Dragon / Sexual Assault Mode.) Well, but I wasn’t exactly in a mood to think she was wrong, coming from all the fantasy absurdness of the things that had happened. I, by all means, didn’t have “Yu” in my name. My name was Kenta Yannai. And it is Kenta Yannai. It will be Kenta Yannai. Ya, Yu, close. But not the same thing. That made me virtually invincible against evil organizations who try to rule the world using a children’s card game. Monday came. School started once more, and – what? What are you saying? Hmm, hmm. Hmm, hmm. STOP RIGHT THERE. Stop thinking about Duel Academy. The school’s not even close. It doesn’t allow you to bring trading cards. In addition it has no stupid fillers. And you can clearly see the gender of the principal. He also speaks in a fashion that makes sense. Q.E.D. Anyhow, I was back from school again that day (I guess I can skip the part about algebra since it’s a depressing filler episode full of Ancient Egyptian), talking with friends, mainly about the inappropriate comic books one of the divine beings in the class brought, and some about Yugioh. I was just about to convince Yama – strongest duelist in school – that Allure Queen Decks were far better a choice than Dragunities and Machina Gadgets, but I could tell from his expression he was just trolling along with me. Many times he nodded, “tru dat”. The other kids A, B, and C said goodbye and went to completely irrelevant walks that will never again appear in this story. They stopped existing in the plot. Only I and Yama were left, talking about a meta where the Sacred Beasts are pro. We turned a random corner. When suddenly, something wrong with the world, because someone straight from the 2-D world was standing there. The first thing that took me off guard was the lack of common sense radiating from him like some disgusting body fluid. 1. Blue hair. 2. Same gold necklace. 3. A black robe that even Europeans didn’t wear outside Halloween, let alone us Japanese, sorta like the Dark Signers’, except less cool due to the lack of Mighty Morphin’ Power Ranger colors. 4. DUEL DISK HURR DURR. “Gary Stu,” I stammered. “Why do these people keep on appearing?” “Oh,” Yama nodded while backing off the way normal people do. “I remember about your talking. Maybe they’re members of some otaku occult religion. Should we run?” “We’re not main characters in some anime. I doubt he uses any rare cards, but hey, we have a house.” “I see.” We tried to run. Which was the moment in which I felt a tingling. And well, you know? The thing where the antagonist goes “I CAN UZ MAJIC HURR DURR HURRRRR”? That, except with less unneeded talking. The second, I was crucified upon thin air, and I was disabled from moving at all. Yama was the same. Worse, of course I knew it was stupid to think of this now, but right now my groin was torturing me with itchiness. And I think I already said stuff about the awesome purple Dark Signer lines. Copy paste that upon here please. I’m so sluggish I don’t want to describe the same thing twice. “I apologize, Third Race,” the man said. His voice was rather smoother than the green hair dude. Wait, did I even have to say that at all? I suppose not, I doubt anyone has a voice less smooth than him. Or her. Whatever. “What the hell is Third Race? My nickname?” Silence. The man seemed to be disapproving my behavior. “The last Emissary I sent was defeated by you,” he said in his silky, dark voice. “You mean the master of Battle Ox.” “You are a disruption to the project. Forgive us. We must do this.” He raised a hand. Dark mist swirled from the sleeves, and put materialized a duel disk. “You know, Yama,” I mumbled. “I never knew anime characters were in situations so ridiculous. I mean, right now I can think that the way the duels started in Season 1 of GX was strikingly similar to this, all out of the blue. This sucks. Hard.” “Oh whoopedy f***ing doo,” Yama stammered. “My god you’re hell right. But well, I think that if I was the antagonist, and I actually cared to be logical, I would never bother with any clarification of plot devices.” “Logical is the antonym of two-dimensional.” The man ignored us completely the way cool antagonists do. Then, he snapped his fingers; the lock around us dwindled. A mysterious sillhuette shimmered upon my left arm, but hey, it’s a hundred-percent captain obvious that it’s a duel disk since it’s not going to be some charity bracelet. As soon as the lock disappeared, instantly I tried to run. The next second, disapproving pain shot through my ankle. “Holy s***, what the hell is this–” “I think we can’t move our legs,” Yama sighed. “Damn.” “But that’s the part most important. Oh, wait, hey–” I scratched my aforementioned groin. “Gee, Kenta, you might want to be a bit more elegant.” Even as our talk went on, the man glanced at me with glowing eyes. “My first victim will be you. No men can see through the Duel of Darkness, and no one can help you so. Your life is over.” As he raised his hands, purple mists spread from his body as though he had some $200 “Halloween Fog Maker Illusion” tucked inside his clothes. Yama gave me a thumbs-up. “Kenta, you’d never lose. The only reason he selected you was because I run Six Sams. He’s not from locals. If he were his servant would have ran anti-Samurai cards like Spell-Shattering Arrow.” “I know. Well, mobile phone time–” but the screen of the phone I took out my pocket was blank. “What?” “The duel,” the man said, “begins.” Of course I could have inserted something besides “said” for the sake of second-grade storytelling, but if you look up at the synonyms of “say” it says “speak”, “utter”, “articulate”, “declare”, “pronounce”, “state”, “cry”, and “shout”. In this sense, he may have been speaking or declaring or pronouncing or stating, but I don’t care since I’m lazy. Also I didn’t think he was uttering or crying or shouting, and what the hell does articulate mean, my twelve-year-old Japanese brain will never find out. Okay, maybe it means the same thing as say, but I don’t care. I mean, who says “articulate” in real life talking? “My turn,” the man drew a card, and to my censure my deck was inside the duel disk. I mean, I knew Gigavise was terribly relying upon luck. But since I don’t like to spend a lot of money I never used others besides Machina Gadgets. And I sucked at it too. “I place a face-down,” the man cast a pointless and show-off right hand upon the ground, where s face-down hologram appeared with the weird vyaaawwn vyaaawwn sounds. “And I end my turn.” “I have Royal Decree in my Side Deck,” I hummed as I drew two cards on accident. “Oh, sorry, I always do this. Really sorry.” I placed the second card I drew without thinking back onto the deck. “I summon Mystic Tomato,” I announced. Or rather, tried to announce, since I was a bit too timid to be so fearless in this situation that was most likely life-and-death. Out of a silvery portal, a crimson tomato, with a one-meter diameter (hey that rhymes), and glowing yellow eyes. “In YCM I’m pretty much blind,” the tomato growled menacingly. “Mostly since the brat here thinks it’s cooler.” [center][i]NOTE-Avatar when I made this[/i] [img]http://oi56.tinypic.com/23s177.jpg?_time=1296544366[/img][/center] I looked at the rest of my hand. It sucked. It sucked so much there was nothing more I can do for the turn, and – HEY I HAVE 3 EQUIPS IN MY HAND LOLOLOLOL “Mystic Tomato, attack directly!” “VEGETABLE CRUSH HURRR!!!!!!111oneoneoneoneone” the Mystic Tomato roared like the troll I was, and proceeded to jump onto the man who stood there helpless against its sharp teeth that chomped down. To my disgust blood burst. I’m not going to be descriptive here. (Random Evil Character B: 2600. Not 6600. That’s the good part.) “Oh my god,” I covered my face. “Higurashi.” “Ah,” Yama groaned. “Yandere anime invades again. I never watched it, so even when you say references I never get it.” “Watch it, I think it’s good. Oh, and turn end.” “…During your End Phase,” the man glared up, both eyes flashing, the blood already gone for the sake of scientifically unexplained anime conventions. “I activate a face-down! Invulnerable Veracity!” “I’ve never heard of such a card,” I complained. “What pack is it in?” “The Third Race knows less than us,” the man roared, as though saying “Third Race” explains everything. “You have fallen for the trick! In a turn in which I take battle damage, I can activate this during the End Phase to Special Summon from my hand or deck an unlimited number of Level 3 or lower Fiends with the cost of 1500 Life Points!” (Random Evil Character B: 1100) “Synchro abuse?” I asked. “No!” the man shrieked, eyes wide open, lunatic the way people from Hinamizawa tend to be. Though I doubt that. “No, of course! I hold in my hands the most powerful monster ever. I hold in my hands the ultimate monstrosity of darkness!” 5 pools of dark appeared in the ground near the man’s feet. Out of them emerged random LV 1 or 2 Fiend-Type monsters that no one ever used, dripping slime as they flapped weak bat wings. 300 ATK at its most, each one, which was hilarious. “What do you mean…” I narrowed my eyes. Of course, I knew the strongest DARK non-Synchro monster out there in all terms put together, Advanced Format, was DAD. But why would he need many 1-yen monsters? I was scared, still. It was that I wasn’t expecting any real monster to come out. This man, whoever he was, had some way to print cards from Yugioh Card Maker into real life, textures and all that stuff. I was also pretty sure he was also mad, which meant he could possibly make noob cards like “when u summon this u win”. If it was so, considering the fact the duel disks were his, I probably didn’t stand a chance. I gulped. “My turn!!” the man roared, cape swinging, muscular arm holding the card he drew with all his power, which was definitely unnecessary by all means possible. “Hahahahaha! My victory! Your monster will be no match for mine! Do not worry, it is one you know very well…” My face turned white. “You’re going to summon Barbaros…” His field had 2 monsters with 300. If he tributes the other 3 and summons Barbaros, nuking me, and proceeds to attack directly with another randomly summoned monster, I’ll lose big time. “Of course not,” the man cackled. “This deck is devoted to the ultimate devil. The ultimate embodiment of darkness! Barbaros is the Beast King. I do not care of him at all.” “Oh. Whatever. I’m stupid. But wait…” I thought back at the things he had said. “Ultimate devil”. “Ultimate embodiment of darkness”. Same thing, show-off. And before that… [i]“It is one you know very well”. [/i] I tried to contain my laugh. “Hey, I mean, you aren’t saying–” The man raised hands to the heavens. “I sacrifice forth these 3 Fiends to the abyss where the devils lurk!” To my surprise, dark clouds started to gather above. Thunder started to rumble without warning. And rain. What, rain? What the f***, if I didn’t buy sleeves I would have been dead! “I SUMMON–” the man shot a card up so the entire universe can see his stupidity. “RAVIEL, LORD OF PHANTASMS!!” “OH HOLY SHI–” my scream was cut off by the eruption of black flames that came from behind the man. Wait. Black flame? Wut? Black flame? he be trollin Well ignore the stuff about scientifically unexplained colors. Back on topic. The [s]black[/s] [b]dark purple[/b] flame shot up into the heavens. Connecting with the thunder that shot from the sky, just to be awesome, they created an orb of crackling energy just above the man. I hoped he would get electrocuted, but it seemed antagonists were immune to stupid clunkers, because the energy did fall around him in chunks of light, but they never set flame upon his cape. The bellowing coming from the place where Raviel’s powers collided was deafening. And slowly, from the sphere in midair came out a cerulean hand, burly and giant, each finger the length of a man. I tried to step back; finally realized the terror of being inescapable. I knew Barbaros was far a better choice, but I could never really say that when I knew it was a Duel of Darkness. 4000 ATK, I mean. I was pretty sure that 2600 damage from a fist a story high was going to kill me. The hand clawed at the gap in the dimensions; with a low rumble from inside, the fingers clenched its side and spread the hole. A head slowly emerged, and I realized the weird things on the two sides of its shape (shaped similar to ears) were each the same size as its face. Weird. And bloodshot, crimson eyes, tiny and sunken, glared at its target. Silvery teeth jutted down from its mouth, the flesh around it gray and exposed, armor-less, disgusting. Next came out the muscular chest, hairless, glistening with some sort of slimy liquid, unbelievably gigantic, width that of a house. It pulled out the rest of its body in a hundred-ton tug. Both legs stepped out, crashed upon the asphalt; the earth splintered and shook. It was unbelievable to me that any humanoid legs can ever be so large, that any two-legged creature can grow to this size. The mouth gaped open, scarlet gums showing, and the beast roared in a manner nothing other than utterly vociferous. For the first time I saw for a second, in the edges of its body, an aura that could be cosmic, possibly even divine. Raviel, Lord of Phantasms. The only problem was that it was stupid. I thought logically in these situations, and right now my instinct was roaring at the man to run 3 Barbaros instead of such a c***py card. “I summon Dark Resonator,” the man swung his left arm, and the chubby monster appeared by, a bit shorter than the man, raising a Lance of Longinus though I’m sure it wasn’t, eyes glaring, mouth a crooked smile. “I tune it with the other two monsters,” the man declared, raising hands, and after obligatory several green Hula-Hoops swirling in the air, Chaos King Archfiend appeared, crimson afro flaming. The next second – “RAVIEL!!” the man thundered. “ATTACK!!” And well, since Malik wasn’t here to stop him the way Serket was, the fist came shooting at my monster with all its million-ton fury. Okay, maybe not a million, but who cares. Raviel was so colossal, so absurdly tall, he had to bend down to crush his victim. “Don’t worry Kenta,” the evil vegetable chuckled. “He’s no match for my–” then he was crushed under Raviel’s fist, and was turned into tomato juice and salad. “Oh s***,” I muttered as the gust that blew up from the crater sped near. Wait, a gust? Yes, a gust, I say. Hey, better than expected. A gust. Nothing more than a gust. Just wind. Just normal wind, pretty much, so I think it’s perfectly AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH After several seconds of pain that definitely wasn’t normal wind passed, gasping for air, wincing from the stings, I looked up weakly to greet the man – grinning, eyes gleaming, as his pet roared from a dozen meters up. (Troll: 1400) “What are you going to summon?” the man sneered. “But you are powerless against me, Third Race. In order to go against Chaos King Archfiend’s attack you must summon a monster with more than 1200 Defense Points. Mystic Tomato has 1100. To summon another is powerless.” “Oh,” I winced. “I wouldn’t activate Tomato’s effect.” “What?” the man narrowed his eyes. “Pah! So you are surrendering as anyone would. Then it is my final move,” he shot a finger at me. “Chaos King Archfiend! Attack directly!” “Wait, wait, wait,” I raised a hand. “You forgot Battle Fader.” As the enemy Synchro shot a ball of dark fire from his hands, the space in front of me opened up into a blue dimension hole, from which the pendulum-ish monster shot out, twirling for no clear explanation, then releasing all of its 0 ATK LV 1 fury. The ball exploded upon contact, spread in all directions around it; then the remains disappeared into thin air. “So this turn you have lived,” the man cackled. “But how many more can you continue? With Raviel’s attack your Life Points are nothing than a single hair, and I have control two high-level monsters, including the all-mighty and ultimate Fiend ever. Now end your final turn. I would never let you surrender without pain.” “Oh you’re [i]so[/i] lame as an antagonist,” I spat, hoping some main character table-turn music is ringing around me. “You know what? There’s a golden rule, and it’s that anyone who’s Gary Stu sucks at game. It’s also quite known that Barbaros would have been the more logical choice over Raviel. Well, at least Gigavise, though it’s far from even slightly competitive, is a deck much, much better than a random jumble-up of Fiends. And I’ll show you that right now – draw!” (Exclamation point added for main characterness.) I looked at my hand. “Oh, but seems I didn’t even need to draw. I remove from play the Mystic Tomato,” I said as the ghost drifted out of the ground and floated up, up, up, as it yelled dirty words at the blue giant. “And activate Mark of the Rose. Do I win?” [center].....................[/center] The man was hunched upon the ground, arms and folded knees trembling, face glancing down, murmuring to himself. “I lost,” he mumbled. “I lost.” “You should’ve run Battle Fader or something like me,” I frowned. “But hey, I won, so promise me two things. One – I and Yama get to beat it. And two – you beat it, meaning you and guys of your occult religion would never dare even touch me again. Or Yama, if you find Six Sams to be appealing. Oh, and–” Abruptly, the man stopped trembling. He looked up, eyes hollow, face a lunatic, weak grin. Then he laughed. He laughed. He laughed. Copy paste. “Hey,” I tried to grimace. “Hey – what’s wrong?” It was from experience I knew that when minor antagonists started laughing, something wasn’t good. I slowly backed off since the bind was broken, already started on my tracks while still looking in the direction of the man. “We will never let you escape,” the man screamed. “We will never let you escape! The plan was set since the start, as the second I drew the six cards. This game was a duel of darkness. But no, this time, the rules are different. As normal, the soul of the loser will be devoured. And, and, in addition, to the one who gains victory–” “What?” The man’s structure was steaming, and flames erupted from his clothes. Skin turned gray; arms and legs wobbled down to ash, started to fade into the winds. “The world of us Second Race welcomes you. Your friend is the same.” “What?” I was half-hoping the man will give an explanation that makes more sense than the noobs in YCM, but it was impossible. Even as I stepped forward, the man, with a feeble laugh, exploded into ash. As he did so, his cards fell to the ground, the space over him split and gaped into a fissure of darkness, swirling and somewhat daunting. Silent. Deathly silent. As though awaiting something. I stepped back with Yama. Then, the next second, with a boisterous roar of violence, it activated. The change was clear to the eye. Instantly the broken asphalt near was sucked in; then, tugged by an invisible force, we were lifted off our feet. I yelped. But no matter how I tried to hold onto something, there was zilch; my arms flailed as uselessly as the act of flaming trolls. Then the next second, I was flying, and after an icy chill, the disgusting moment of zero gravity – [/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 3. I attack with Formula Synchron for game] “Geez,” I murmured over to Yama, just as astonished as I. “I mean geez. What the bloody hell happened?” We were in a cell. When I breathed a white haze erupted from my mouth. Luckily a wall of bars was on one side, and sporadically light came from there. I looked out. Outside was a wasteland. A wasteland stretching for as far as the eye can observe. Its edges were nothing but steep mountain ranges, peaks jagged and lifeless, thousands of kilometers away, and they resembled the carcass of some great animal which fell in its tracks, leaving only its skeleton. The land’s face was nothing but just thick gray, and as though mirroring it, in the sky, a storm was brewing, cold and dreary. Lightning crackled far away. Rain fell. Crimson rain. Rain that resembled blood. The air was sour, icy, and smelled of permanent defeat. The land was dead. “I can’t remember the last things that happened…” Yama shook his head, eyes blank. “I remember you dueling the weird guy. And then, and then… What…” “The weird hole sucked us in, I think,” I sighed. “But this is serious trouble. I mean, I never thought those guys would be serious.” “hey i nnow” yama sed “dis is a diffarent worrdl frm oiurs lolololol” I looked at him. “Shut the f*** up.” “No, I’m deadly serious. Pretty sure. It all makes sense then. The men. They must have some reason to abduct us.” “Maeks sens all right. If it’s really so, we’re in a situation that makes even less sense than Yu-Gi-Oh! GX. That means it’s impossible.” “Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!?!?!?1?1?one? But that’s like, one of the worse anime ever created. I think nothing can ever make less sense.” “Who cares, that’s not the point!” I snapped. “We need proof that this is a world different from ours, and–” Just then, the sky cleared up in the far ends. And slowly, with a sound like faint electric zaps crackling, something lilac and serrated showed itself. A Dimensional Fissure, edges blowing up minor explosions high up in the dark sky, its center wide and deep, as hollow as a skull. “Oh holy s***,” I muttered. “Q.E.D.” “This isn’t what you think, kid,” a dark chuckle came from my side. “Oh and hey, I’m back.” I whirled around. There was my Mystic Tomato, floating in the air, unthinkably thick tongue sticking out, evil eyes sunken and lightless. Scarlet skin stretched over flesh. “You feeling well?” it cocked its head. Or rather, its body. “Yes,” I nodded. “Of course.” “Hey,” Yama nudged me. “Remember how you colored your Tomato’s eyes black with marker? He has it too. He’s going to kill you for it.” “Hell no,” the tomato shrugged. “IMO Makes me look better.” (Since he said “IMO” instead of “In my opinion”, it seemed like “Emo makes me look better”. Yeah, like that matters or has any relation to plot devices.) “And well, this is natural. This world isn’t yours, Kenta.” “Impossible,” I stammered with terror. “That means GX is real. No. Impossible. That’s, that’s… I’d better have the Seventeen Angels invade Yokohama, or have Hell Girl bring a doll to the guys I pick on for fun.” “Don’t worry Kenta,” the vegetable grinned. Of course he was constantly doing so, so I supposed this wasn’t really a good way of describing it, but shut up. “It’s not so. Even though I’m here that doesn’t mean I’m your Duel Spirit or anything. They don’t even exist. …Wait, door’s opening.” I turned around. A door – hell, I never even realized it existed – opened up behind us. A hooded man was holding it, and inside two crimson eyes flashed. I had a bad feeling he was an antagonist. “Come, Third Race,” he snarled. “The others await you.” “The other what?” “The other Gladiators. They must fight you to be freed.” “Wait,” I raised hands. “Two questions. One – When you mean fighting, you mean punching and kicking? Or playing card games?” “The second.” The man said it as though it was normal; it actually made me almost laugh. “Then two – do I get freed if I win?” “Yes.” “Oh, and add a third. Why did you abduct me?” For a second, the man was silent. Then he slowly murmured, “The Second Race often takes men from the Third. They enjoy the duels your race play. Not only are they generally high-level, they also help us in the Project.” “What do you mean the Project?” “That cannot be told.” I grinned over at Yama. “I’m up. I suck at combat. I’m pretty darn sure that this is going to be some filler episode, but I suppose it goes.” “We don’t know what this is,” Yama frowned. “Sir, what is this?” “The Second Race enjoys these Gladiators from your world. Whoever wins is free unless he is one of us – the professionals – and the losers stay. Each day we harvest from the Third Race. I believe one of our Head Emissaries transported you here after overwhelming you.” “Oh, that Raviel guy? I officially pwned him with Mark of the Rose.” The man jolted. He leaned over, seeming a bit concerned. “Then come here. Which will go?” “Me,” I said. “Wait, only one goes?” “Yes.” “Me.” Then, I turned over to Yama. “Don’t worry, I’ve pwned Raviel before.” “My Legendary Six Samurai is better.” “You never know. Believe me, I can do this.” Then, I jumped out the door. Yama waved a hand. I waved back. “You are unlucky,” the man chuckled as we walked down an obligatory stone corridor, the type that appears in the fortresses of Dark Lords in RPGs. “Your opponent is me. Zevlon. I am one of the professional Gladiators from our dimension. We excel at kill.” “Killing.” The man who called himself Zevlon (which, I admit, was a pretty darn cool name, if not even mildly show-off) ignored and, after opening another door, shoved me in. I was swallowed by light. And I blinked. I was in the middle of a stadium. Except instead of the soccer court there was a big round, what do you call them, um, um, um… okay, let’s just settle that it was like the Kaiba Coliseum in DM. When the Gods battle. If you don’t get it shut the f*** up. Thousands of men and women in fantasia Halloween costumes were screaming their heads off far above. It seemed like I was back in the times of the Ancient Roman Empire, except such a disgustingly logical description shouldn’t take place here, and therefore I will ruin it by objecting like this. Zevlon walked over to the other end of the field (he moved at the speed of Sonic the Hedgehog in Super Smash Brothers Brawl). Weird thing was, his legs never moved. They were floating. Kenta used Earthquake! It doesn’t affect Zevlon! Kenta toppled over! It’s super effective! “The duel begins,” Zevlon roared, and swung off his cloak, exposing pale skin and slick red hair, which I think was pretty unnecessary. I was also pretty revolted by how the duel suddenly began as though this was Yugioh G- No. Don’t even think about it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it! “Rock paper–” “My turn!” Zevlon drew a card (or rather, violently shot it out of his duel disk the way anime antagonists do), and at the second I realized that whoever claimed it will become the first in this world. Zevlon scanned his hand. His eyes lit up. “Ha! I activate Terraforming!” A perfectly superfluous CG image of some barren planet being covered in green and blue appeared behind him. “And I add to my hand this! I activate the Field Spell of Paradise Lost!!” “What the hell is that–” my scream was cut off as instantly, the field was flooded by blinding light. Then, out of its center flooded out black slime; barbed vines shot out of the sides and scaled up the walls, and then rearing back as though they were hunched skeletons. They crawled among the ground, slowly ascending towards the place where ooze still gushed as though it was some disgusting fountain. And I saw, there, a statue of stone bursting out of the muck; gray as the sky, a crouching fallen angel, mouth expressionless, wide eyes blank. Two folded wings mounted on its back. “This must be Black Garden,” I mumbled. “Just a bit different.” “I summon Velzex Pawn!” Zevlon slammed a card onto his duel disk. And then all of a sudden AHHHHH ITS A BG SCARY MONSTR RUN 4 UR LIFE (1400/500) “And after placing a back row face-down I end my turn.” “Can I check out the effects of your cards?” I asked. “The buttons are on your disk,” Zelvon said. “Oh. Thanks.” I pressed some particular switches on the sides of the duel disk, and the effects for them appeared. [center][b]Paradise Lost Field Spell[/b] Each time a “Velzex” monster is sent to the Graveyard, place 1 “Velzex Counter” upon this card (MAX. 7). By removing 7 Velzex Counters from this card, Special Summon from your hand, deck, Graveyard, or removed from play zone 1 “Velzex Omega, Asylum of the Lost Paradise”. [b]Velzex Pawn LV 4 DARK Fiend [1400/500][/b] When this card is destroyed by battle and sent to your Graveyard, you can select 1 “Velzex” monster in your hand or deck and send it to your Graveyard. Then you can Special Summon 1 “Velzex Pawn” from your hand or deck. “Velzex Pawn” can only be Special Summoned by the effect of “Velzex Pawn” once per duel. [/center] “Can I look at the effect of Omega himself?” I looked up. “No.” “Oh damn, I knew it.” Just then, Mystic Tomato appeared by my side. “How’s it going kid? What’s up with this stuff?” “No problem,” I assured him. “I have this. I activate Mystical Space Typhoon!” “Why should I let you destroy the Paradise so easily?” Zevlon cackled. “I activate the effect of Velzex Rook in my hand! By discarding it I can negate the effect of a card that destroys a face-up “Paradise Lost”!” “Darn–” I gritted my teeth as the gust that appeared by my side reduced down. “Well then, if I can’t destroy it now I’ll do it later! I summon Mystic Tomato and attack!” Mystic darted onto the field. “You’re pretty damn ugly,” he told the Velzex monster. Then, he jumped up, opened up its mouth. “VEGETABLE FURY!!” he screamed, and chomped onto the Pawn. They both exploded. “I summon another Tomato,” I said. My pal appeared again. “Hi there,” he chuckled. “I mill Velzex Bishop!” Zevlon declared. “And activate its effect! When this card is sent to the Graveyard, except by battle, by discarding 1 Velzex monster I can draw 1 card!” he replaced his hand. “And summon the second Velzex Pawn!” “You’re so lame,” Mystic said. He jumped up again; burst with its enemy. “I mill another Velzex Bishop and activate its effect–” but when Zevlon looked up, there was my Cherry Inmato, running towards him. They slapped his face with their abnormally oversized sleeves. (Zevlon: 3300LP) He staggered for a second. Then he cackled. “…But now, with this, Paradise Lost has gained 7 counters!” Far above, seven lights similar to Dark Synchro stars materialized, whatever that means. I frowned. “…I set a card. Turn end.” “No,” Zevlon roared. “Before that I activate Royal Decree – thus negating all of your upcoming Traps!” I cursed as my Mirror Force was rendered harmless. Then, I whispered over to the Mystic Tomato that reappeared by my side. “What do you think is the effect of Velzex?” “Nothing devastating no doubt,” Mystic said. “Its summoning conditions are similar to the Rainbow Dark Dragon. Its effect is ‘This card cannot be summoned”. Though this world’s people generally suck I think it has more than just 4000 ATK and a useless effect. After all, Bishop’s effect was pretty useful.” “I see. Then what will it be like…?” “My turn!!” Zevlon flashed his new card. “I summon Velzex Rook!” (1800/500) “And I activate the effect of Paradise Lost! I summon forth from my deck–” as he raised his hands, the seven stars above exploded, shooting into the statue in the center, and it cracked, splintered as light erupted from inside; then it burst, and a beam of radiance flew straight into the heavens. Thunder roared. Lightning crackled. A giant dimensional hole appeared behind Zevlon. And from it, a shape I had just recently seen slowly emerged. “…The statue’s…” I muttered. “The statue’s alive.” The crowd went wild. “This is Velzex Omega!” Zevlon cackled. “Asylum of the Lost Paradise!” (3500/500) “3500…?” I gasped. “Oh my god, I’m going to take 2800 damage.” “But I’m not going to have it stay,” Zevlon said. “I activate its second form!” “What–” I pressed a button on my duel disk with a hurry. [center][b]Velzex Omega, Asylum of the Lost Paradise LV 10 DARK Fiend 3500/500[/b] This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by the effect of “Paradise Lost”. When this card is summoned, select and apply one of the following effects: -This monster cannot be affected by the effects of your opponent’s Spell cards. -This monster loses 3000 ATK. This monster cannot be affected by the effects of your opponent’s Spell cards or non-LIGHT Effect Monsters. This card cannot be destroyed by battle when battling with a non-LIGHT Monster. All battle damage you take from battles involving this card is negated if this card battled with a non-LIGHT Monster. When this card battled a non-LIGHT Monster and it was not destroyed by battle, destroy it (this is treated as being destroyed by battle). When this card destroyed a non-LIGHT Monster by battle, this card can attack once more in a row (you can only activate this effect once per turn.[/center] I blinked. Read through the second effect again. Again. Again. Again. “Oh,” I muttered. “I’m so dead.” “Lord Satan!” Mystic yelped. “Kid, you have any LIGHTs?” “No. Not in my deck.” “Extra!” “Umm…” I cocked my head, sweating. “Um…um…” Then, I gasped. “Nothing but Formula Synchron and Armory Arm.” “But that’s like, stupid.” “Yes, that’s the point,” I said. “This is stupid.” “But…” “I mean seriously, what the hell is this thing?! Mystic, this is pointless. We should give up this duel and go on. Bet on the next…no, wait, this is…” “ATTACK!!” Zevlon’s scream and the movement of Velzex Omega were simultaneous. The great animated statue, with a deafening bellow, shot its fist at the helpless Cherry Inmato twins. They frantically ran around for some time; the next second they were crushed. In their place four new Cherry Inmatos popped up. “Velzex Omega’s second attack!!” Zevlon hollered, and two Cherry Inmatos were powdered. In their place came two Inmatos, both faces dark and depressingly expressionless. “I attack with Velzex Rook!” Zevlon’s new servant crushed the Cherry Inmato. Nothing more came. “Ha! I end my turn.” I pressed a button. [center][b]Velzex Rook LV 4 DARK Fiend [1800/500][/b] When this card is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard from your field, draw 2 cards and discard 2 “Velzex” cards. If you cannot, discard your entire hand.[/center] “This is my hope,” I mumbled after drawing a card. “I set a monster…end my turn.” “My turn!” Zevlon thrust a finger at my Inmatos. “Velzex Omega! Crush both of those piles of trash! And Rook! Destroy his face-down!” “I activate the effect of Dandylion!” I said as my monsters were destroyed. “I summon two Fluff Tokens!” “Pah! No matter what you do it is pointless! I end my turn. Surrender!” Monsters [3] The crowd went wild “Not so!” I drew a card. “This turn…this turn I’ll win!” “What?” Zevlon cackled, eyes wide. “Have my attacks robbed you of sanity? All you have are two useless Tokens!” “They’re not useless!” I roared. “This exists! I summon Glow-Up Bulb! And tune them for Formula Synchron!” The transformer appeared after the skipped Synchro sequence. “This is one of the only two LIGHT Monsters I can play!” I said. “It’s in Attack Mode!” Zevlon was trying hard not to laugh his head off. “I draw a card!” “But what can it do?” Zevlon crowed. “Its ATK is 200!” “That’s why I activate Monster Reborn!” I thrust the Spell onto my Duel Disk. “I…I revive Dandylion! And summon Glow-Up Bulb from my Graveyard with its effect after milling!” a Dark Hole was perfectly ruined. “And…and…” I drove an arm into the air. “I TUNE IT WITH DANDYLION FOR ARMORY ARM!!” “WHA–” Zevlon’s scream was cut off as Armory Arm appeared upon my field. “I-IMPOSSIBLE!!” “I EQUIP IT TO FORMULA SYNCHRON!!” I ROARED AND THE ARMORY ARM EQUIPPED ITSELF TO FORMULA SYNCHRON AND IT LOOKED REALLY SILLY SINCE IT WAS TOO BIG!! (1200) THEN “ATTACK!!!” I THUNDERED AND FORMULA SYNCHRON FLEW TOWARDS THE VELVEX OMEGA!!!!! “AHH – BUT–” HIS SCREAM WAS CUT OFF BECAUSE THE VELVEX OMEGA [b]EXPLODED[/b]!!!!!! “AND I USE ARMORY ARMS EFFECT!! IT INFLICTS DAMAGE EQUAL TO THE ATK OF THE MONSTER IT DESTROYED!!!!!” “YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!” MYSTIC CRIED CRAZILY!!! “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!” THE CROWD WENT REALLY, REALLY WILD!!!!! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” ZEVLON SCREAMED AS HIS LIFE POINTS WERE REDUCED TO ZERO BY THE EFFECT OF ARMORY ARM!!!!!!!!!!111111 “I win,” I declared. “Maybe you thought I can never beat you because my deck had no LIGHTs. But no, you forgot Armory Arm! Because when you use it upon Velzex Omega! It’s super effective!” “I never thought I will lose…” Zevlon muttered. “But the winner is you. You are free. That gate is open. Your friend is outside already.” “Yayz,” I hopped over to the gates Zevlon informed me. Mystic followed. I jumped out, leaving the crowd cheering for me. The doors shut. And the very second, I tripped over something. “Aww…” I rubbed the places I had hit. Then, I looked up, and at the same time, I was violently strangled in a green net that fell from nowhere. “Wha-what’s this–” Then, two medieval knights in full battle armor came from both sides and grabbed my legs. I yelped. They bound me with ropes and sprained my ankle. “Hey–” “Did you ever think we’ll let you free?” one of them grunted. “You’re a chosen one. You’re a threat to this world. Forever you will be imprisoned in the underground dungeons of the Lascivian Fortress!” “What–” I gasped. “Kenta!” I heard a scream, and swirling around, I saw Yama, in the same position, screaming my name. I glanced up; a club was flung down. God, I’m like, the luckiest guy ever.[/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 4. Apparently I have badass powers] I mean, what the hell is the Lascivian Fortress? Can’t those idiots like, bloody [i]explain[/i] for once? And what did they mean the chosen one? [center][spoiler=The terrible truth] [img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51G1zzOMSUL.jpg[/img] [img]http://pic.pimg.tw/hsnu1126/e2bf81dfa7c7e27cb7c8b072d796aa5a.jpg[/img] [img]http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l26/halfwildhalfchild/ChosenOne.jpg[/img] derp[/spoiler][/center] And if I’m the 7th Signer I’m going to mind f***. Pretty sure I’m not dead either. In addition, the only thing good about Yliaster were the man-chests, so I don’t want to join that. Or, Mystic Tomato is possessed by the Light of Destruction? Shut the bloody hell up you b****. …By this point I never knew I’d soon have the longest explanation of plot devices ever. And I woke up in a cell. Hey, another cell. I mean, add more originality. That’s two times in a row. Well, to be exact I wasn’t really sure if it was, since my eyes still weren’t adjusted, but it looked so. I thought back at the things that recently happened. That Zevlon guy tricked me. It was so utterly obvious, thinking back I was just as stupid as Jounouchi. He must be relaxing back in some random sofa. What was I? I wondered. If they abducted me and trapped me it must be some major crisis for the people of this Second Race, whatever that means. The main problem was that I was chained. Lucky enough, the thing near me wasn’t some LV 6 generic Synchro made for the sole purpose of Debris Dragon. Black clothes. Long, dark hair, the first of many in which I finally saw someone of this world with normal hair coloring. Light blue eyes. But the best part was that it was a she. Blinking, head leaning, she stared at my face with an expression of surprise. About the same age. Geez, if this were some fan fic or anything, even if I know it isn’t, I’m definitely going to end up in at least [i]some[/i] scene or another. Assuming she wasn’t teamed with the antagonists. “Don’t worry,” she smiled weakly. “I’m also a Third. Get your hopes up.” “Hey–” I yelped, but the second the girl shot a hand up and whispered to be quiet. I supposed it was neater than “Shut the bloody hell up”, and since no one in my life ever said to be quiet save for the teachers and parents I felt a bit relieved. Most of my friends have rather [i]special[/i] ways of talking. The girl took a tool, similar to some pincher, and started to break apart my chains. “Whoa,” I said. “Thanks, presuming you aren’t going to take me to some Umineko-style torture chamber.” “It’s my mission to save you,” the girl muttered. “You don’t have to thank me.” Then, after some silence, she went on. “You remember what the guards said?” “Umm… ‘Forever you will be imprisoned in the underground dungeons of the Lascivian Fortress’?” “No. Before that.” “Umm…that I’m the chosen one.” “Yes! I knew it. The orders were right. Let me explain later.” The Mystic Tomato appeared by my side. “She’s hot,” he chuckled. “I see a relation coming up.” I turned my head. “Shut up.” “Be quiet,” The girl whispered. “The guards are asleep now, but it’s a matter of time before they realize I’ve poisoned them.” “You know, there was always the option of using [i]real[/i] poison. There’s no need to add suspense to everything.” The second after I said it I realized how illogical I’d seem. The girl grimaced. “This is definite evidence. Your monster. Your personality. You must be one of those we seek for.” “Wait,” I said. “You’re seeking for people with trollish personalities?” Of course it had a [/sarcasm] tag after it. But to my horror, the girl… Nodded. [i]HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!?!?!?[/i] “ur serious” i screemd!! i was realy, realy surprissed!!! “Yes, I am,” the girl giggled. “You know, this isn’t exactly the time…” She let go. The chains were now broken, scattered around my feet. “Woot,” I exclaimed. Then, I realized something. “Wait – where the hell’s Yama?” “I’ve already let go of him,” the girl gave me a thumbs-up. “You know, I’m not perfectly sure if he’s one of the people we’re looking for, but I supposed you wouldn’t come without him.” “Well at least, yeah. If he was some random one-episode character I might as well leave, but in his case things get different.” The girl stepped back. “Let’s go.” “Go where? The bars are intact.” “This way.” She took a card out of her belt, and placed it onto the wall. Hell wut? Even Magical Trevor wouldn’t have a way of explaining this. “You sure you’re not mistaking Yugioh cards with magical artifacts?” I asked the obvious question. “I’m perfectly sure. Look.” She moved to her left, and to my confusion, saw something dangerously similar to the black holes in Super Smash Brothers Brawl. “A Dark Core?” I cocked my head. “Yes. Hop in.” “I think it’ll remove us from play.” “No. In this world it acts differently.” “You’ve made sure of this, right?” That was when I heard the chattering of armor. “Go!” the girl shouted, and grabbed my collar. Hey, she’s stronger than she looks. Then, she threw me inside before hopping me too. I screamed as the world around me rippled and vanished. The thing that I first saw was spirals. Infinite spirals of rainbow colors, intertwining, crossing, binding into each other, zooming past in any direction possible. When I looked up, there was a strong pull of gravity; gasping, I realized the white shining circle in the distance, twirling and swirling, waiting for me to be sucked in. For some second it felt so. Then, suddenly it – [center].....................[/center] “…Um…What the hell?” I rubbed my eyes, blinked. For some reason I felt sick. My stomach seemed like it had just travelled through time. Except wait, hey, it really was so. Looking around, I stood up. I was in what seemed like a room of some dilapidated building. Yama was fast asleep by my side. Just a second later, a white crevice opened in the gray wall I was leaning on, making me yelp and fall through. My head bumped into that of the girl who had just skipped out, pushing me out in the process. “Ow,” she frowned, rubbing her head. She grimaced at me. “You.” “Jeez, I could have just bumped into better parts. Why didn’t it happen so?” The girl tried to say something – giggled. “Well, at least you’re alive. I’m Elizabeth Raze. Just call me by my last name. I’m from your world. One of the members of the Liberi, the squad formed from Earth’s people that were abducted here. I’ve been here for about three years so far. Don’t worry, this building is one of our main bases, and in some time, my friends will arrive. Which would you want first – a logical explanation or a simple jump-in to our world?” “Obviously the logical explanation. Wait, I should wake Yama up, right?” “If you don’t want to explain everything.” I shook Yama’s head. He didn’t move. I punched him in his ribs. His eyes bulged wide and opened. “Well, you know,” he grumbled. “Sometimes I wonder whether you’re really the best companion for voyaging into different worlds.” “I’m not.” “Can I start?” the girl interrupted. “Sure,” Yama nodded. “Well then. Where should I start…” Raze thought for a second. Then, she opened her mouth. “You know, this world isn’t exactly what you think it is. This world sprang out of nowhere, just about a dozen years ago. While some people think in other ways, most of my group – the Liberi – thinks it was born from the imagination of Kazuki Takahashi himself, the very creator of Yugioh, the most successful card game of the 21st century. Even the Guinness World Records say so.” “Quite yeah. But wait…you’re saying Kazuki Takahashi is responsible for the existence of this world?” “Yes. I didn’t believe it at first too. But it’s most likely the truth. No one has ever successfully verified how the human mind works. Our idea is that…maybe…when people create a world in their head, some great ‘Entity’ releases its force, which makes the world of imagination real. We call any world born this way the ‘Second Plane’.” “That means there’s a world where the sea is red, weird humanoid beasts are invading town, and robots controlled by mentally disabled kids are fighting against them to save the world, only to end in failure due to an ancient evil organization who wants to make all men into orange juice?” “By our ways of thinking, yes.” “Awesome.” “All logic there is based upon what the creator thinks, and whenever he gets a new idea it’s implemented immediately. The men there are nothing but robots with no free will, doing what the creator tells them to do in their stories. Until several years ago, this world of Yugioh was the same. But…” Raze looked down. “For some reason, the beasts of this world gained free will. They were released from their chains. Something overloaded the system and bent the greatest, divine laws of the Second Planes overall. We’re not entirely sure on this, but some people think the reason for this is something you know very well.” “What?” I asked. “The Yugioh Card Maker Forums.” I was just about ready to wake up from my dream. “YCMaker probably had no intention of doing so. But when he created the website, allowed many people to randomly create any card, the ‘Entity’ became confound. Its system went haywire for the first time in millenniums. Until then, only Kazuki Takahashi and his fellow writers were able to change this world. But after YCM’s birth, anyone could have. To stop this world from collapsing due to uncontrollable energy, the Entity decided to shatter the holy rules. It stopped all forward movement, apart from what Kazuki Takahashi did. From now on nothing will newly appear in this world, no matter how many cards you make.” “What does that have to do with free will?” “Listen,” Raze edged closer. “I don’t know why. Neither does anyone. But if you edit a part of a video game, the whole system goes chaos. Same with this thing. When the Entity forbid free creation in the Third Race where you used to live in, the Second Plane of Yugioh gained free will in return. There must always be a piece of freedom somewhere. To stop confusion we specifically call this the Second Race.” “But that means whenever someone makes a fan fic, the Entity goes mad.” “Not so. I don’t know why, but fan fiction never changes anything. If it was so, most famous creations will be gaining free will. And something weird, the other games never gain spirit. Maybe YCM’s special in one way or another. …But it’s a good thing it’s only your site. With even this one the human race is in danger.” “Why?” Raze blinked. “The Second Race decided to abduct you. It’s because they’re afraid you’re going to stop a particular project they’re starting without even noticing. Let me explain later on this. And that is, if our assumptions are correct, to merge this world with the Third. Think. What would happen if that project activated?” “Umm…” I thought for a second. “Um, well, so you’re saying that Monsters from the card game invade Earth?” “Basically, yes.” “I see. The End of the World.” “Yes,” Raze said, then glanced at her right as though something was there. “The inhabitants of the Second Race will take over Earth, using the powers of the Monsters to stop any revolts with ease. Men of your – and our – world will never again appear upon Earth’s surface.” “Who are those people from the Second Race? They said they take entertainment from making people from the Third Race duel. And they look strikingly similar to us.” “Of course they must look similar to us. Kazuki Takahashi is responsible for this world’s laws. But they’re not exactly what you think. They aren’t a completely different race from ours.” “What do you mean?” Yama looked obviously puzzled. “When this world gained free will, the Entity was forced to create a species that can rule over it. Every age has its ruler, one way or another, as long as men are involved. And as Takahashi is a human from Earth, the inhabitants of the Second Race were also modeled to be similar. However, while this world has more cards than yours, most people here lack the playing style of yours. While the aristocrats are just as good at this game as the local toppers on Earth, the others are still learning. That’s why they want to look at the decks of people from the Third Race and study from them. And they have another flaw. As they are from the world of Yugioh, for them, the game itself is everything. They can’t fight by sheer force without dueling, outside special circumstances. The only case in which it is allowed is when people of the Third Race, within this world, are attacked by the order of the Lascivian Lord that rules over this world – such as in the case with the troops, since the Lord and you were both born in the Third Race.” “Wait, the primal antagonist is from our world?” “Yes. He was the first mortal to venture in this world. That helped him rule.” “Oh, and only the people who were sent by the Lascivian Lord can imprison me by brute force, and otherwise they need to duel me and win, right?” “Pretty much, sure. Let’s put it that way. And let me speak on the reason they want to imprison you.” “I was just about to ask that. Thanks.” “…You were called a Chosen One,” Raze said. “One of the six. The project the Second Race are starting – let’s just call it the Dimensional Polymerization the way we do – involves six Third humans. Each person has a distinctive personality, in your case trollness. The six each represent a certain Attribute. In your case, DARK.” “Wait, so here I’m the embodiment of darkness, just because I happened to run Dark Gigavise and I own Mystic Tomato?” “To be exact, no. It was because you were chosen from the second the Second Race became alive that you will grow to be the Dark One.” “Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa,” I exclaimed. “So I get to be called the Dark One?” “Technically.” “That’s [i]sooooooooo[/i] badass.” “And those six will be taken into prison, and he/she will go under several rituals. You were lucky enough to not go through any, it seems. Because then they all get killed. With those sacrifices, the six Attributes are unlocked. By mastering all of them, the Lascivian Lord gains access to the laws of this world, as the Attributes are the most important within this universe. He can become a being close to this world’s God. By then even the Entity can’t stop him. The two worlds will merge into one, the base being yours. And then mankind will come to an abrupt end, taken over completely.” “That’s [i]sooooooooo[/i] not badass.” “And that’s why we wanted to hide you,” Raze said. “We’ve tried to send the ‘Wind’ back to Earth before. He was captured instantly, killed.” She looked down, her face dark. “He was a good duelist. The Gusta FTK was something I was never able to beat.” “Jeez, I wonder why. But wait…” I gasped. “I can’t go back to Earth? I have to stay here till I die and be evaded from capture?” “Not exactly. There’s just one way to stop the plans. If it goes right you wouldn’t have to be hunted anymore.” I looked up. “How do you do it?” “Make the Lascivian Empire collapse.” “Yeah, because a 13-year-old with a slightly trollish personality is supposed to do that due to obligatory main character epicness or something.” “There’s no such thing as a main character here,” Raze sighed. “If I were you I wouldn’t want to do it. The forces aren’t as weak as you think, and they’re everywhere. Well, of course you could gain some powers of your Attribute, but even so–” “Wait, so I can become like, a sorcerer?” “It requires some time. But once you get the hold.” “I’m [i]so[/i] going for it.” “It’s meant for personal defense,” Raze frowned. “You saw the magic of the others. Even in the World of Thirds the Emissaries – the subjects of the Lascivian Nobles – were able to let loose the Duels of Darkness. If they get unleashed in this world, against you, you wouldn’t like it.” “Let me do it anyways. I get it, I wouldn’t go off on my own, so please?” Raze looked up. “Well, sure. I have no idea how you can do it, though. Maybe ask the Fire. He knows how to do those things. He leads our group. You might want to go look for him.” “Kay,” I leaned over. “Then how do you go–” The second, the wall besides me exploded. With the shock Debris flew through the air, the non-Dragon sort, crashing into the other walls, blasting up smoke, crushing the building. The tremor was similar to an earthquake, except even more violent, menacing. It wasn’t caused by nature. This was synthetic. Man-made. Intended. And with a fiery gust of rage a spiny foot of anger exploded into the ground from far up, just as large as Raviel’s, missing all three of us by mere feet. We yelped, staggered, then, led by Raze’s finger jabbed towards the emergency exit, flew out. Glancing up, we gasped. The monster, similar to a dragon in shape, must have been just as high as a skyscraper. Its entire hide was covered by just rock, acerbic rock the color of a lifeless desert, jutting out in all directions with a threatening appearance. Each was as long as a human arm, and they lined the skin of the great beast, leaving just its wide mouth and the two crimson eyes, brimming with hatred. If you play the game you should obviously know what this is. “They found us out,” Raze muttered. She hurriedly pulled a Caius from her belt and slammed it onto the rubble of the building, screaming a spell; then, she gasped. She cursed. “It doesn’t work. They wouldn’t fall for the same trick twice.” “I hope they only RFP’ed 1 Rock,” I commented. “Then Mystic Tomato can kill it. Or even better, two, so Mystic can attack once more.” “Hey, Romeo,” Mystic popped up next to me. “I measure it to have removed…hmm, let’s see…one, two, three, four, five, six… okay, about seven in total.” He looked at the three of us. “Hey, anyone have Honest?” [/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 5. Ban Magic Cylinder ~The Chapter of Dialogue with no description at all~] The Megarock Dragon opened its cavernous mouth, shooting out a shower of jagged rocks, incinerating the rubble of the dilapidated building we had been in till a minute ago. The four of us backed down, glimpsing the face of the monstrosity, flickering in-between rising smoke. Its footsteps were seismic, and I yelped, stumbled. Cursing, Raze flipped through her deck. “Treeborn!” She roared, and flung a card into the air. The feeble creature popped up into the air. “I’m invincible,” it said. The next second it was trampled by the raining rock. Then, it appeared again by her side. “I feel sick,” it croaked. “And to think I’m tribute food I even sicker.” “Cool story bro,” Mystic chuckled as the Treeborn Frog was swirled into a black gust. “C’mon, Caius,” Raze called as she slammed the Monarch onto her Disk. The bulky shape materialized, holding a Dark Core in his hands. “You know, it’s harder than it looks to do this,” it grumbled. “I’m burning my hands.” And it shot the Core towards the Megarock Dragon. As the Core exploded into the body, the creature screeched; then the dragon was gone, sucked into the void of the Core. One job done. “Where’s the controller?” Raze circled around. “Lemme see,” Mystic hissed. Inside his sunken eyeholes something shined; dimmed down again. “Right. There! Hiding in the rubble. Mind if I go for a lunch?” “Gogiga Gagagigo,” I said. With a sadistic cackle my vegetable hopped into the air, bouncing towards the enemies. “You think it’s the Emissaries?” Yama turned to Raze. “…You know, just so…” “Probably,” Raze said. “The last one they sent was Armityle, copied by Phantom of Chaos, dropped via Fusion Guard. They like heavy monsters.” “Exactly!” I clapped my hands. “Magic Cylinder is pro in this world.” “Wait,” Caius narrowed his eyes. “Your pal isn’t coming back, Dark.” “oreally?” I cocked my head. “Oh no worries, he’s probably just finishing his meal and [i]“GYAAHHHHHHHHHH!!”[/i] “Okay, maybe not.” “He’s a spirit,” Raze said. “Because Mystic Tomato returns to the hand in the End Phase.” “No idiot, the other one. He’s fine. He never takes physical damage, he probably saw something intimidating. Besides, he can come back again.” And as she said, the next second, Mystic popped up next to me sure enough. “What happened?” I asked. “What the bloody d*** f***ing hell b**** a**hole s*** c***,” Mystic gasped. “Oh Lord Satan, they’re coming.” “Who are?” For a second, everything was silent. Then Mystic slowly opened his jagged mouth. “The Lascivian Emissaries.” And at the very next second, the ground exploded all around us with all sorts of possible colors. Shrieks, inhuman, deafening, bloodthirsty, pierced the air; the next second, the ground was cast dark, and the great beast looming over us thrashed down with spectacular force. I had just enough time to glimpse five heads, one made of scorching flame, another similar to a Sea Serpent; another metallic and dark, another spiked and gold; another as black as Batman’s ask. When the smoke cleared, Mystic and Caius were nowhere in sight. “Jeez, seriously, where’s that bloody Magic Cylinder?” I cursed. The Mystic Tomato reappeared next to me. “Regeneration is awesome. Problem: you can’t. But FGD’ll never kill you. Its master wants to get you alive. Don’t know about Raze and Yama, but I suppose they’ll also be captured rather than killed.” “They have Frognarchs and Six Sams,” I gasped for air. “They’ll do fine.” “The Emissaries can capture you by brute force.” “Oh, I forgot that – AAH!!” And I was lifted into the air, plucked by the metallic mouth. “Oh holy s***!!” I screamed. “If only there was a DARK Honest,” Mystic roared. “I’ll go ask Raze and Yama for support! Hang on!” [b]“JUST USE THE BLOODY [i]MAGIC CYLINDER[/i]!!”[/b] [b]“I DON’T HAVE THE BLOODY [i]MAGIC CYLINDER[/i]!![/b] Yama and Raze cried at the same time. “I NEVER THOUGHT SUCH A STUPID CARD WILL EVER BE USED!!” “Neck down!” I heard an unfamiliar voice, and I saw several armed men far below us, arms swinging as though they were trying to sort out traffic. “Neck down! To the ground! You hear me, eh!?” [i][b]“MAGIC CYLINDER!!”[/b][/i] I screamed for dear life. “Grr?” The FGD, due to my prayers to the card that I will from now on worship as the best Trap Card ever, didn’t seem to understand. “Oh holy Lascivia, what’s wrong with your brain?! We already trained you once!” “Grr.” The men cursed. One of them swung back to the others. “Your Dimension Hole! Use it!” “I don’t think that’s really necessary, sir.” “Just do as I say! The big brute can’t understand. When he’s sucked in the brat will drop! Summon some random flying monster now! ” “I have Swift Birdman Joe, sir.” “Why the hell do you even [i]have[/i] Swift Birdman Joe in your deck!?” “It’s needed for Icarus Attack, sir.” “The picture isn’t everything, idiot!” then the Emissaries glanced up. One of them slammed a card onto their medieval duel disk, as though they were supposed to exist in the 15th century or something hurr durr. Instantly the Dimension Hole opened up above. The dragon roared in surprise; tried to go against the force – but it was useless. “Use your powers!” Raze howled. “You’re one of the six Attributers! You can do it! Find it in your soul! I’m sure you can pull it out! Now! You’d get killed!” “How the hell are you supposed to do that!?” “It’s part of your instinct. Sort of like the reflex that makes you jump back when you step into flame. Do it now!” Mystic flew up next to me. “The rift’s opening! Go! Unleash your powers!” “I’m doing it! Now–” And the next second, I was flying. For a second I thought I had been sucked into the Dimension Hole. Then I realized I was flying on my own. I was flying through the air with my powers! “You did it!” Mystic screamed far below. “Look at your wings! Talk about badass!” “Wings? What wings – whoa!” Glancing back, I saw two black wings sprouting from my back, constructed from shadow, propelling me through the air. “I didn’t have to give half my life span to Ryuk!” I roared. “Awesome!” “[i]Yappa ningentte omoshiro![/i]” Yama screamed. “What the hell are you saying?” Mystic turned back. “It’s what Ryuk says to Light / Kira in the first Episode.” “Whatever,” Mystic shrugged. “I decided I can’t understand Death Note after watching the second OP on YouTube. It was way too chaotic for me.” “I personally love it,” Yama said. “Though even I can’t understand what the hell they’re saying.” “You idiot!” a man standing next to the guy who suggested Dimension Hole flailed his arms at the companion. “My FGD’s gone! What’re you going to do for it!?” “Uh – um, it’ll come back soon. In the meantime, it’s best to use others.” Around the Emissaries, three shapes of light shimmered; they exploded, flew into the air. “Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth!?” the words leapt out of my mouth regardless of what I wanted to say. “That’s one of the strongest monsters in Duel Monsters!” “[b][i]MAGIC CYLINDER[/i][/b]!!” Mystic howled. “Use your powers!!” Raze cried, voice so high-pitched to the point of even piercing. “Can I do the badass stuff about how you made Caius’s card become materialized?” I spun through the air. “Yeah! Do it now!” “Um…” I opened my deck case, shuffled, drew 6. “Um…there, there…Yes!” I had a Lonefire, good enough. And 2 Mark Roses too. Others? Inmato, Spore, Dandy. Forget it. I started the moving. Got Gigaplant and stole two Moths. “The kid’s got his deck!” one of the Emissaries screamed as two of my Lonefires were RFP’ed and two of their Moths were swung onto my side. “What did you expect idiot!?” “No, I thought Team Zevlon confiscated it! Why didn’t they?” “Those idiots! Lord Lascivia will surely punish him!” “No, it must be the Liberi!” another man screamed. “They can steal virtually anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was their fault.” I actually still had them in my pocket from the start, but I supposed that wasn’t something I should say now. “Go, Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth!” I roared. “Attack your brethren!” And the enormous insect, with a hiss like vapor, plunged towards its perfect copy without even a second of hesitation. Two bodies collided in midair; the next second, with a disgusting sound of skin bursting apart, they exploded. Green blood and oversized intestines rained down upon the ground around us. The Emissaries wailed. “It’s like Demonata!” I screamed. “The monsters are real,” Yama stammered. “Kenta’s…Kenta’s not what I thought he was.” “You guys have no monsters! Gigaplant! Moth!” The crimson head of the botanical beast reared up; mouth split open, and with an unearthly screech, vines shot from all around it, snatching one of the Emissaries. The Gigaplant’s vines tightened. “Got no Gorz?” I cackled. “Then it’s your end, troll! Cower before me as your own monsters finish you off!” And with my orders the monster shot forward – then, abruptly stopped. The shape of a pendulum appeared before the Emissaries. “What?” I gasped. “It’s – it’s Battle Fader!” Raze shrieked. “No – Kenta!” “……” I gritted my teeth. “…Your turn.” The Moth returned to the Emissaries. “I told you I wouldn’t lose!” one of them, the user of the Moth and the recommender of Dimension Hole, cackled. Maybe he was the leader. “Sure you’re right,” the FGD Emissary nodded. “I activate Monster Reborn! Thus bringing me back one of my monsters–” “You can do that?” The FGD Emissary asked. “By the rules yes, since I already summoned him once. It’s your end!” “wut” i sed And the next second – The Emissary collapsed. He screeched once; fell dead. He burst into flames, while the others realized they had lost; they ran away on top speed, and as one of them opened up a Dimension Hole, jumped back in. “…What happened?” I gasped. “[i][b]Magic Cylinder[/b][/i]!” A voice sounded from near Raze. “You guys said it’s what you want. Pah! You guys trolling on trolls? Hurr? Durr? Hurrrrrrrrr?” I glanced there – saw a red-haired teenager, several years older than me, eyes wide, with a malevolent flame burning inside. He wore a black formal suit. A cold smile crossed his face. I realized immediately – it was the smile of wicked mockery. Internet-style humor. And he held a trap card in his hand. What’s more, rearing up behind him was a serpentine shape, aflame, circling around in the air, with two devilish horns. Solar Flare Dragon. “I sense another Troll!” I roared. “It must be another Troll, it must be, it must be, it must be, it must be! I [i]feel[/i] it!” “Fire!” Raze screamed with joy. “You’re back!” “Fire?” I narrowed my eyes. “You mean, that–” “Yes, it’s that one!” Raze hugged the guy, who snapped his fingers, making fire sparks flash. “Vermillion Fuel,” the guy grinned up at me. “I like Burn. Not that I suck at game. And it wins easily in this world. Got it? Yes? Okay.” [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benevolent Angel Posted December 29, 2010 Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 Nice start for your fanfic. You're doing pretty well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavens Guardian Posted December 29, 2010 Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 Nice idea i would love to be a character how about your best friend even help you with your chapters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fader Posted December 29, 2010 Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 Sounds good...I will be looking forward to chapter 2. It seems so real, not some stupid thing on motocycles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--------------- Posted December 29, 2010 Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 Love the Higurashi reference. Mom: EVAN WHERE THE F*CK WERE YOU?!?! Evangelion: I'M SORRY MOM, BUT I LOST MY-- Mom: LIAR!! *pulls out giant axe* You, sir, found a regular [s]customer[/s]reader. *Thumbs up* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 Thanks! [color="#FFFFFF"]+1 post count[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted December 29, 2010 Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 ...You are amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grunt Issun Posted December 29, 2010 Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 I predict his the post in reply to !'s comment will start with th and end in anks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2010 +1 POST COUNT THANKS I BEAT U WANG FIRE HURRR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2010 Bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted December 31, 2010 Report Share Posted December 31, 2010 When will chapter 2 be up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuri Posted December 31, 2010 Report Share Posted December 31, 2010 Failtroll a realistic view of YGO. I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted January 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2011 [quote name='!' timestamp='1293808967' post='4899622'] When will chapter 2 be up? [/quote] Probably soon, but not until the 8th unless my mom goes out of the house to shopping (you know what I mean). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted January 1, 2011 Report Share Posted January 1, 2011 OH. I get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted January 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 Bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 Here it comes... [spoiler='Growing Praise and Adulation Episode 13: Screw the Rules, Not the Editor'] Chapter 1. The evil man of death and doom who runs Battle Ox and Sakuretsu Armor [b]This is very promising.[/b] I turned the corner in the dark, narrow alleyways, the nearest way towards home, jogging for no apparent reason except to look cool against a nonexistence camera, [b]*cough*nonexistent*cough*[/b] all in the name of extreme narcissism and excessive failtroll behavior. On my way back from the locals. Had lost in the first around against Six Samurai. Die, Gateway, Die. [b]Why did Konami ever print that? The only reason it wasn’t immediately broken was because Six Sams were bad until we got True Six [s]Blackwings[/s] Samurai, which make Six Sams great without Gateway.[/b] I hope the retarded load of s*** gets limited next format. [b]I doubt it. Why? Because.[/b] And the Synchro Shien has to let me activate Mirror Force. Screw his ridiculous negotiation. Whoever made them must be addicted to magical mushrooms. [b]Probably the same magical mushrooms Mario is addicted to. [/referencenoonewillremembertodoublec4’sbombscan][/b] And I almost bumped into someone. He had green hair. [b]And he screwed the rules?[/b] My first impression was that. Jeez, seriously. Green hair. Green friggin hair. Friggin green hair. Who the hell in this world has green hair from birth? I mean, I can name various people with green hair in the two-dimensional world. [b]Hm…what anime characters besides [s]drug-induced[/s] Season 0 Kaiba have green hair? Noah did, I guess. Green isn’t a common color.[/b] I suppose otaku cosplayers also wear wigs like that, or dye their hair. [b]I believe most of them undergo gene therapy in order to more accurately imitate the character they’re cosplaying, actually.[/b] But you know, I supposed those people didn’t live around here. [b]True. You never actually live near those people. They’re like Republicans that way. *gets shot*[/b] Now where was I? Oh, yes. The guy had green hair. [b]Right. That.[/b] He wore a necklace of gold, which along with his impossible hair, was really dazzling for my hyperactive eyes. I supposed it wasn’t fraud. [b]You mean, it wasn’t fake? I don’t know, real gold isn’t as shiny as you might think. It’s probably brass.[/b] Since verbally speaking, it was quite possible to take the paragraph above as “he wore only a necklace of gold, and otherwise was nude”, I’ll add he had a skintight black suit, turtleneck, to it seemed almost like the Ghouls in the Duel Monsters Anime. [b]I think you mean, “technically speaking” rather than “verbally speaking”. Didn’t the Ghouls/Rare Hunters also wear generic evil cloaks?[/b] His face was weird. Eyes were hollow, unseeing, darting through the air, in eternal pursuit of an invisible mosquito. [b]That is an absolutely beautiful metaphor.[/b] Cracked, purple lips. Ghostly white skin. I could have described it as a skeleton, but that’s so orthodox I wouldn’t. By the way, he was pretty much a skeleton. His face seemed sort of like in-between man and woman, if that makes sense, except it doesn’t because that’s just stupid. [b]No need to insult hermaphrodites and androgynous people. Yubel was androgynous. Although I wouldn’t really want to meet Yubel in a dark alley either.[/b] Well, generally I should have called the being as in it, not he, but hey, that’s just some ingenuous poetic technique. And why did I think it was a man? Because, you know, you can look at the chest that was as flat as a Pot of Duality concealed inside seven card protectors, making its pic almost indistinguishable from Mountain. I supposed even the smallest chesticles had some stuff. [b]Considering how expensive Pot of Duality is, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are people who put it in seven card sleeves.[/b] And on his left hand was a duel disk. What. [b]?[/b] He wore a duel disk? Yes. He wore a duel disk. It was a duel disk all right. A black one. [b]Well, I’m pretty sure Konami released the Chaos Duel Disk at one point, so he could have a black disk.[/b] My definition of duel disk was a typical made in china product eight-year-olds running three Battle Ox force their miserable parents to buy for Christmas and birthday presents, each one costing a horrifying 30 dollars for no evident explanation, given no one actually cares to use it after three days of torment from the depressing weight, and card board plus plastic plus several rare children’s trading cards didn’t get even close in value, even if you included payroll. In short, it was just plain stupid. [b]Let’s all just slow down and take a deep breath. Anybody thirsty? Need some water? Coffee? Soda? Go ahead and grab some. I’ll wait. Everybody hydrated? Good. All I want to say here is that you’re good, =Evangelion=, and I’m not just saying that because as of the time of writing you hate me for maybe being a bit too hard on this one guys fic. Actually, I’m definitely not saying it because of that – it would be much more fun to have a legendary flame war spanning multiple topics, causing both of us to be temporarily suspended by YCMaker on multiple occasions, with members picking sides until the battle sweeps up the entire community and the only topic of interest is DR. CAKEY VS. =EVANGELION=! But no. I’m saying you’re good because you are. You’re probably better than you think you are. But you need an editor. You need an editor – probably a short woman in her early thirties with medium length black hair who survives only on Diet Cokes and has a red pen collection – to make illegible scrawlings next to some of your sentences so that you come back and say, “the f*** does this say?”, and she says, “that’s exactly what I wrote,” and you say, “oh I get it you mean my sentence doesn’t make sense,” and then she says yeah and starts chewing on her favorite pen.[/b] But this man in front of me had it. [b]An editor? Oh, right. A duel disk.[/b] What was more, it didn’t seem so plastic. It seemed more metallic. And given normal people wouldn’t rub oil onto their toys (though I highly doubted this person was normal), it wasn’t a toy, probably. [b]Wait…he oiled his duel disk? I hope genuine KaibaCorp disks don’t have to be oiled, too. Next you’re going to tell me I’ll have to download patches and security updates and have the Card Dealer replaced every 5,000 shuffles.[/b] Then what was it? [b]Isn’t it obvious? He’s a single episode antagonist. Let’s see if I’m right.[/b] That was when the man raised the left hand. With bony fingers of abnormal length, he pressed a button on the machine that I somehow felt cost more than 30 dollars. He pressed a button. His mouth creaked open. [b]Did he just press the button twice?[/b] “Duel,” he croaked. I ran away. [b]A true duelist never runs away from stoned cosplayers in dark alleys challenging you to duels![/b] I mean, I suppose that was the most natural thing to do. I don’t remember ever running faster than then. Maybe because the jacket I was wearing was red. [b]<3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333[/b] The man followed, but he was slow. Green wasn’t that fast. [b]Oh no you didn’t! Green is the fastest, strongest, smartest, and sexiest color in the WORLD! By complete coincidence, it’s also my favorite color.[/b] I ran left. Right. Right. Left. Right. I abbreviate the following for originality’s sake. Then, suddenly, the most typical and wretchedly traditional way of having the ikemen main character stop in his tracks appeared before me. IT’S A DEAD END! Whooo!! Ya-Hoo!! I should have run out of the alleys, my dumb brain. [b]It occurs to me…I think you abbreviated what preceded, not what proceeded.[/b] I turned around. The man stood there, hollow eyes bulging; mouth twisted in a crooked smile; green hair pointing; legs swaggering and stumbling every step as though he was of advanced age. He took several steps forward. “Duel, mortal.” I looked uneasily to my right. A dumb wall. To my left. A wall, except even dumber. I turned back. The dumbest wall of all, with graffiti scribbling with adult oriented words most kids would love from heart. [b]Uh… “love from heart”? This is the bit where your editor throws empty soda cans at your head out of sheer irritation.[/b] “Hey,” I laughed artificially. Maybe it was because I only picked the primal antagonist in school plays and my only real trend was the mad cackling I can make, which wasn’t exactly what I’d want here. [b]You could try out-eviling him. Oh, wait. You can’t out-evil a stoned cosplayer.[/b] It was only to be used when you killed everyone to avenge your blond boyfriend in a village where a shrine god with curses is worshipped. “Hey, jeez. Can I go home? I mean, like, my mom’ll kill me. Higurashi fashion. Please?” I half-expected the man to say he’ll let me go if I say sorry a thousand times. Apparently there was a limit to the number of Ryukishi 07 references you can make in a single chapter, because the man replied with another simulated “You must duel”. [b]I should hope there’s a limit, because I’m not getting any of them. I’m just not commenting on them to look like I’m smarter than I actually am.[/b] “I don’t have a duel disk,” I raised my hands. The man pointed at my jacket. In my right pocket was my deck. I had a bad feeling. “Duel,” the man croaked. “The singular option.” [b]Have you considered trying to distract him with a Shapesnatch?[/b] I seriously wondered what the hell was making him so addicted to a children’s card game, but since he didn’t look all that healthy, I expected him to have injection marks somewhere on his body. “Hey, seriously. Let me out.” The man switched a button on his duel disk. “A duel of darkness.” [b]Just to ensure he is very much on the insane end of the spectrum. If a wall of purple fire appears, though, that might be a bad sign.[/b] “Oh god, you don’t watch 4kids dubs. I feel we can go together. So let me out please?” “No,” the man said. “Your time is up.” I was an atheist at heart, though I never bragged about it. I also knew that science solved nearly anything. [b]Except…I’m trying to think of something really hilarious to say that science can’t comprehend, but I can’t. So I guess I’ll just go with ‘women’.[/b] This wasn’t happening. As I watched, purple lines of light spread from the man. [b]Yes…[/b] They shot across the walls of the alley, seeped in below me. [b]Yes…![/b] Everywhere around me the lines glowed. [b]YES![/b] A black duel disk, similar to the other man’s, materialized on my left hand. [b]You’ve officially crossed the absurdly awesome event horizon. Be sure not to hit the singularity.[/b] I pinched my cheek. Ow. Come to think of it, it was a stupid thing to do. Even if I was dreaming, the nightmare would have no harm upon me, so waking up was useless. If I was awake, it would just hurt me. Damn, how can I not be so logical? The man raised a hand. “My turn.” “Don’t forget rock paper scissors.” “I draw a card,” the man went on completely ignoring my rather fair common sense. [b]Actually, he’s got a point. In general, the challenger goes second, though figuring out who’s the challenger in a given situation is complicated, and it mostly goes to whoever feels like going first. Except in Crashtown, of course.[/b] “I set a monster and a facedown. I end my turn.” [b]I would expect a guy like this to put his monster face-up. Good thing he didn’t, since it would be a nightmare trying to explain the rules to this guy.[/b] [i]Damn,[/i] I thought. [i]I never knew anime characters existed. Or, at least, people like anime characters. And he might kill me. But well, as long as I win it’s ok. I suppose I can beat him as long as he uses the kind of decks anime characters use…[/i] [b]But you forget, anime characters can use Destiny Draw. Not the card, the Tag Force (actually, is it in Tag Force?) game mechanic.[/b] “Hey,” I called, raising the duel disk. “Can I take this off? It weighs a ton.” The man was silent. “Whatever,” I sighed. “If I run away right now what would happen?” “Death,” the man opened his cracked lips. “Hell, I feel so awesome today.” I drew the cards reluctantly. I should probably get this over with easily. My eyes widened upon looking at my opening hand. I glanced at the monitor on the duel disk. 4000. [b]Oh yeah. This should be fun.[/b] A short laugh escaped from my mouth. “Ah,” I grinned. “You’re so dead." [center].....................[/center] A minute later, I stood there in the alleyway, looking at the purple lines that were fading away into the body of the man lying there, panting in horror, blinking at his duel disk. [b]Hubbida-wuh!? Did you just skip the duel? Or, rather, the your turn?[/b] The number 0 was imprinted upon it. “Impossible,” he whispered. “Impossible!” “Hey,” I called. “I won. Can I get out?” It was by sheer luck of a main character that I managed to draw a Lonefire Blossom along with 3 Supervises and a Gigaplant, enabling me to Synchro Summon 3 times instantly along with a SS-ed Gigaplant, destroy the spell/trap with Black Brutdrago by discarding the Gigaplant in hand, incinerate the facedown monster with the Scrap Dragon (destroy Black Brutdrago for the lulz), and attack directly with the Scrap Dragon, second Black Brutdrago, Stardust, and Gigaplant. To be exact I used just Gigaplant and Stardust for Gorz and Trag’s sakes, but the stupid anime character didn’t own them. By the way, my monsters that materialized for some unknown reason were all squished up in the alleyway, so it didn’t look the cool way OTK in mangas do. Three dragons and a giant plant, all crammed up in five meters. Not a good sight. [b]Ah. Gigavise. You would need luck of a main character to use Gigavise. Not that I feel that Gigavise is any worse nor better than any other deck. Not at all.[/b] “…Gahh…Aah…As told,” the man mumbled to himself. “Sir…do you hear me...? The Second World’s inhabitants are unthinkable strong. I cannot –” [b]We are unthinkable strong, aren’t we? I mean, I actually own a Dark Hole.[/b] The next second, he exploded into gray dust, was blown away. [b]Because he was a Dark Signer. Or something.[/b] Nothing was left save for his duel disk. I walked over, picked the cards up. But the next second, I threw it away. The first hand I saw promised me that YCM members with 0 post count can have better decks. [b]I wouldn’t be so sure abo –[/b] Battle Ox (Grave) Sakuretsu Armor (Grave) Beaver Warrior Nitro Synchron Ryu-Kishin Dragon Treasure [b]Okay. Maybe you’re right. But, does this mean he [i]Set[/i] Battle Ox? Don’t you know that you always open in Attack Position in teh animez?[/b] I looked around several times, blinking at the man's utter stupidity and failtrollness. Then, I headed – towards home, I would have said under normal circumstances. But this time I went to the hospital instead after calling mom saying I felt sick. [b]An appropriate response. Actually, he seems to have taken it all rather well. And that’s game (said Jaden). This is a very promising story, and if it had the benefit of the thirtysomething-mistaken-for-twentysomething editor (I’m very specific about these things, as you can see), it would probably be the best piece I’ve reviewed. Oh, if anyone happens to know where I can find her, I would be much obliged.[/b][/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted January 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 *Finishes reading* Oh yes, I might work on description. Though I did some on purpose to evoke the normal-kid-ish-stuff. Thanks anyways. And no, I don't really hate you. I was just saying that there were better things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StraightEdge07 Posted January 3, 2011 Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 Nice fan fic, i like how you're including new cards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted January 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 [quote name='StraightEdge07' timestamp='1294074337' post='4909003'] Nice fan fic, i like how you're including new cards [/quote] Wait. I commented on someone's long fan fic for this? Just this? What the hell is this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted January 3, 2011 Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 Especially since you didn't, you know...include any new cards, seeing as this isn't a fic that would [i]have [/i]new cards. You neg-repped me, and since reputation means everything, that obviously means you hate everything about me and seek to destroy me in an epic flame war which culminates in one of us huffily quitting YCM and coming back in a few months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted January 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 Did I? ...Oh, there. Whatever. IDK. I don't hold grudges so I'll most likely ignore flaming unless the other guy is a failtroll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 I think you did...I could be wrong since the updates don't tell you who you receive reps from or for what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted January 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 I did. And if you're so fussy I'll just plus you in the name of the incarnate of absolute ignorance and naked stupidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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