Yu-Gi-Oh! Lunar Revalations: Spirit Crossing

[Dementuo]

Alright, here it is. My first Fan-Fic. Give it a read, tell me what's wrong, and what you think of it.

[spoiler=Chapter 1 - Together or Alone]
Zero looked out of a small window at one end of a moderate-sized arena inside of an even larger shopping center. This was the location for the Regionals, of which Zero was participating in. He looked over at the arena. Already, the two teams who hadn't finished round 4 yet were dueling. It was Fairly clear that Team 5 was going to win, instead of team 2, who had dominated all others before them. Now, their luck had run out. Team 5 had out a Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon, a card Zero knew all too well. On team 2's side was Cosnsecrated Light. That was a card of which Akira disliked, for a fairly obvious reason; His deck was Blackwings, all of which were DARK. Team 5's duelist drew his card as his turn started. "I summon Mirage Dragon!" The young duelist declared. "Because he's a LIGHT monster, Consecrated Light doesn't affect him. Now Mirage Dragon, attack his Concecrated Light." The yellow dragon whiplashed the tiny ball of light, shattering it on contact. "Now, Red-Eyes! Attack Directly." The larger, reflective dragon shot a fireball at the other duelist. His Life Points dropped to 0. The referee stepped up. "The victory goes to Team 5. They will move on to face the newcommers of team 8." The ref declared.

Zero looked over at his brother Kutafis, his best friend Akira, and his brother Caden. "Looks like my kind of opponent, that kid." Zero said. "Its interesting to see a deck so similar to yours. Maybe he's a fan?" Kutafis teased. "Like anyone else uses Gadgets anymore?" Zero responded. "Stop fighting you two. We're about to win the regionals." Caden interviened. "He's right. If we can get through the last team, then we'll move onto the Nationals two weeks from now." Akira agreed. Zero turned back to the arena. "Yeah, guess you're right. Well, we should go prepare. Our match is in half an hour." Zero said. "Hey Zero, where did Zwei run off to?" Akira asked. "Oh, he went to go get my deck. He borrowed it yesterday, and never gave it back." Kutafis said. "He'll be along shortly." Kutafis said reassuringly. "Alright. We'll reconvene here in 20 minutes?" Akira suggested. "Sounds good." Zero agreed. "Let's go." Kutafis said.

With that, Akira, Zero, Kutafis, and Caden all went off to fix up their decks one last time. Zero looked down at his deck, which he had laid out on a small table. He pulled out a card. "I think I might just add in this card... They won't expec this, which'll give me an advantage..." Zero thought, as he sided a card from his deck, and exchanged it with the other one. After a while had passed, they had all regrouped, and prepared for the final round of the Regionals.

Zero was first to go, and he was against the other dragon user. Zero started this duel. "Draw." Zero skimmed over his cards, and noticed his signature 3-card combo for this deck. "First, I'll activate One for One. I'll discard Dandylion to Special Summon The White Stone of Legend in Defense Position. And because of Dandylion, I get myself two tokens." Zero explained as the small round stone appeared, with two fluff tokens following soon after. "Next, I summon Debris Dragon. And by his effect, I revive Dandylion." Zero said. The small Stardust incarnate appeared, and Dandylion appeared next to it. "Now I'll tune my level 4 Debris Dragon with my level 3 Dandylion and my two level 1 Fluff tokens." Zero said. The two tokens, and Dandylion burst into a total of five silver stars. Debris Dragon split into four green rings. The stars passed through the rings as they all lined up, and a flash of light enveloped the rings and the stars. "A shadow will loom, signalling the return of the forgotten souls. Rise up from your prison! Synchro Summon! Lunar Dragon - Crescent's Shadow!" Zero said. Emerging from the light was a large dragon. It was black, and had large scales alongside its arms, acting as a shield-type weapon. (2900/2600) "Now his effect! When I Synchro Summon him, I can add up to two Trap cards from my deck to my hand! I'll add Dragoon Force - Body, and Dragoon Force - Mind." Zero said as the two cards were ejected from his deck. "And don't forget. Because Dandylion was sent to the grave again, I get two more tokens." Zero mentions, as his field filled up. The ref started narrorating excitedly. "In just the first turn, the first duelist of the newcoming team has summoned his Ace Monster! And with such a devastating effect of adding trap cards to the hand, he's almost garaunteed protectiong from anything! How will the other team respond to this?" Team 5's duelist looked at the dragon in slight awe. "Quite the card you have there. And quite the deck. It's almost like mine." The young duelist said. "Heh, let's see what you can do. I lay down 3 cards and end my turn." Zero said.

"[i]Alright. He has three cards down, and I know two of then. While I don't know what they do, I at least know what to expect. If anything, Body sounds like it refers to increasing the Attack stats of a monster, and Mind sounds like taking control of another monster...[/i]" The young duelist thought. "My turn, Draw!" The duelist looked over his own hand. "I activate Double Summon! This will allow my to summon Masked Dragon and Delta Flyer! Now, by Delta Flyer's effect, I buff the level of my Masked Dragon to 4! Now, I tune my Masked Dragon to my Delta Flyer, and Synchro Summon Exploder Dragonwing!" The duelist declared as the large, skeletal, and leathery dragon appeared. "I'll set two cards face-down, and end my turn." The duelist said. "Interesting play." Zero responded.

"My turn, Draw!" Zero looked at the card he had drawn, and smiled a little. "I activate my first face-down, Dragoon Force - Spirit!" Zero declared, as the first card flipped up. "I select a card on my field, and then a card on yours with the same Card Type. We both have Synchro Monsters, so I pick my Crescent's Shadow, and pick your Exploder Dragonwing! Now, it's returned to your Extra Deck!" Zero explained, as the dragon flew back into its card. "Now, I activate Dragoon Force - Mind, and Dragoon Force - Body! These allow me to first: Pick out a card on the field. I get to look at it, and if I discard a card of the same card type, then I can destroy it! Let's take a look at that first Face-Down of yours." The card flipped up; There stood a Magic Cylinder. "Well, I'll discard a trap card to destroy it. I discard Dragoon Force - Soul! And when this card is sent to the grave, my monster gains 600 Attack! Now for Body. I pick another monster I control, and he gains an additional 800 Attack!" Zero explained, as the four cards were placed in his grave, the first face-down shattered, and Crescent's Shadow powered up. (2900+600+800= 4300) "And now for Crescent's Shadow's effect! He gains 300 Attack for every Trap card in my grave! It contains four, so that makes 1200 more Attack!" (4300+1200=5500) "And now, for the grand finale! While I have all four Dragoon Force cards in my grave, namely Spirit, Body, Mind, and Soul, all of my monsters gain an added ability! Once per turn, they have the ability to destroy a card on the field! However, Only one monster can do this each turn. Since I only have one, though, it makes little difference." Zero said, as the duelist's second face-down exploded. By now, he was confused as to what had just happened. "What...?" The duelist questioned himself. Zero's dragon roared. "Crescent's Shadow, attack him directly! Lunar Divindence!" Zero commanded, as the dragon rushed towards the duelist, and slashed at him with its arm scales. The duelist fell back. "Ow..." (LP: 8000 --> 2500) "I end my turn." Zero said, as his dragon's power receeded. (ATK: 4100)

"Alright... I draw." The duelist said shakily. "I activate the card Spiritualism! This will return your Dragon to your hand, and this card can't be negated or chained!" The boy said, as Zero's dragon left the field. "Guess that's a way around such a monster." Zero thought. "I should come up for something like that. At least I still have my White Stone, as well as two tokens." Zero thougt. "I... End my turn." The duelist said, hesitantly.

By now, the MC had continued his commentation. "The first duelist of the newcomming team, Zero managed to inflict 5500 points of damage in a single blow with a fantastic display of skill and a continous supply of card combinations! However, team 5's first duelist has managed to remove the overwhelming beast from the field! Now team 8's duelist must summon it again! But can he do it a second time?" The MC shouted to the audiance.

"My turn, draw. I'll summon Delta Flyer!" Zero said. The other duelist gasped a bit. "Another Tuner? Level 3, a level 2, a level 1... Makes 6, then a level 1 makes 7... I might still survive this..." The duelist said to himself. "Now, I activate my Delta Flyer's effect, raising my White Stone's level to two! Now, I tune my Delta Flyer with my two tokens to Synchro Summon X-Saber Wayne!" Zero said, as White Stone's level clicked to two, and the other three monsters burst into their respective rings and stars. "Now I'll tune my X-Saber Wayne with my White Stone! This will let me summon Exoder Dragonwing!" Zero said. "Phew... I'll still have 100 life points left after his attack." The duelist said. "I'm not done yet." Zero said. "I activate Dragon's Mirror! By removing my X-Saber Wayne and my Exploder Dragonwing, I summon Noble Dragon Knight, Draco-Equiste! Fusion Summon!" Zero said, as Exploder Dragonwing and the X-Saber Wayner from his grave departed into rifts, and Draco-Equiste emerged. (ATK: 3200) "Draco-Equiste! Direct Attack! Spiral Javelin!" Zero called, as Draco-Equiste hurled its javelin at the boy, depleteing his Life Points.

"And the victor is Zero of team 8! In a spectacular play, he summoned the fabled Noble Dragon Knight, Draco-Equiste! A fusion monster, a card we haven't seen in quite some time!" The MC said to the crowd. "And in just a few moments, we'll move onto Round 2, where Kutafis of team 8 will face Joseph of team 5!" The MC continued. "Good luck, bro. You'll need it, since you never play with any other deck than your gems." Zero said as he walked past Kutafis and to the waiting area near the arena. "I'll be fine." Kutafis responded quickly, as he stepped up to the ring. "So you're Joseph, eh?" Kutafis asked. "Yep. You're Kutafis?" Joseph replyed. "I am." Kutafis said. "Let the duel... BEGIN!" The MC roared, as the crowd began cheering.

"I'll take the first move." Kutafis said. "Draw. I summon Green Gadget. By his effect, I search out for Red Gadget." Kutafis said, as a card slipped out of his deck, and he placed it into his hand. "Next, I'll put two cards face down and end my turn." Kutafis declared. Joseph chuckled a bit. "Gadgets? Interesting choice. Well, let's see how powerful they really are." Joseph said.

"Draw. I'll summon Twin Sword Murauder. Then, I'll equip him with Fighting Spirit, giving him an extra 300 ATK since you control 1 monster!" Joseph said, as the monster appeared, and a white aura enveloped it (ATK: 1900). "Next, I'll have Twin Sword Murauder attack Green Gadget!" Joseph declared. "Trap Card, open!" Kutafis said. Scrap-Iron Scarecrow." Kutafis said. "This card negates your attack. Then, it gets re-set on the field for me to use next turn." Kutafis explained. "Alright, I'll set a card and end my turn!" Joseph said. "Alright then." Kutafis said.

"My turn, Draw! I'll activate Machine Assembly Line! This will give all of my Machine type monsters 200 extra Attack." Kutafis explained. "Next, I summon Machina Gearframe!" (ATK: 1800+200=2000)Kutafis said. "When he's Normal Summoned, I can add a Machina monster from my deck to my hand. So, I'll add Mahina Fortress. Next, by discarding Machina Fortress, and my Red Gadget, I can summon the Machina Fortress I just discarded!" Kutafis said, as a large, armored, tank-looking machine appeared. (ATK: 2500+200=2700) "Now, Machina Fortress, Attack Twin Sword Murauder!" Kutafis declared, as Machina Fortress fired off a large blast from a cannon attatched to it. Joseph's monster took the hit, but only the white aura around it faded (ATK: 1600) (Joseph's LP: 7400) "If a monster equipped with Fighting Spirit would be destroyed by battle, then I can destroy Fighting Spirit instead!" Joseph explained. "That's fine." Kutafis responded. "Now, Green Gadget! Attack his Twin Sword Murauder!" Kutafis declared once more, as Green Gadget lunged at Twin Sword Murauder, and both monsters shattered. "When a Machine-Type monster I control is destroyed, I put two Junk Counters on Machine Assembly Line." Kutafis explained. "Now Machina Gearframe, attack him directly!" Kutafis declared an attack for the third time, as the mechanical warrior struck Joseph, depleting his Life Points further. (Joseph's LP: 5400) "I end my turn." Kutafis said.

"Alright, my turn. Draw! I'll activate The Warrior Returning Alive!" Joseph declared. "This will add my Twin Sword Murauder back to my hand! Now, I'll summon him, and put a card face-down. Turn End." Joseph said.

"Very well then. Draw. I summon Yellow Gadget, allowing my to add another Green Gadget to my hand. However, I'm discarding it for another Machina Fortress." Kutafis said. "Now, Machina Fortress, attack Twin Sword Murauder!" Kutafis declared. "Trap Activate! Draining Shield!" Joseph said, as the first face-down flipped up. "This negates your attack, and adds it to my Life Points!" (Joseph LP: 5400+2700=8100) "No matter. Now my second Machine Fortress attacks. And I'll activate Limiter Removal. This'll double the Attack of every Machine-Type I control, then destroy them at the End Phase." Kutafis said, as another cannon blast shot through the Murauder. (Joseph LP: 8100+1600-5200=4500) "Now, Yellow Gadget, attack him directly." (Joseph LP: 5200-2800=3400) "Finally, Machina Gearframe, finish this duel off." Kutafis commanded, as the mechanical warrior landed a final punch. However, Joseph's Life Points remained. (Joseph LP: 3400-1800=1600) "I activated my Restless Bodyguard Trap card. By removing the Twin Sword Murauder in my grave when my Life Points are below 4000, I take half the Battle Damage I would normally take." Joseph explained. "Now, during my End Phase, my monster are destroyed." Kutafis said, as the monsters on his field exploded. "And because of that, my Machine Assembly Line gains eight more Junk Counters, giving it a total of ten" Kutafis explained.

"My turn, draw!" Joseph said. "I summon Murauding Captain. Now, by his effect, I summon another Murauding Captain. This will keep you from attacking me! And now that you're wide open, go, my Muraudig Captains! Attack him directly." Joseph said, as the two swordsmen slashed across Kutafis. (Kutafis LP: 8000-1200-1200=5600) "I'll end my turn with that." Kutafis said.

"My turn, Draw!" Kutafis said. "Because you control a monster, yet I do not, I can Normal Summon Cyber Dragon without tributing." Kutafis said, as the mechanical dragon appeared. "Next, because I have Eight Junk Counters on my card, I can send it to the grave to revive the first Machina Fortress in my grave." Kutafis said. "Finally, I'll end my turn." Kutafis said.

"Alright, my turn. Draw." Joseph looked at his hand. He had a trace of worry in his face. "I'll end my turn." Joseph said. Kutafis chuckled. "I think that this duel will be over this turn." He said. "What? You can't mean that." Joseph said stubbornly.

"I draw." Kutafis looked at his card, and smiled. "It looks like I was right. I activate Fissure. This will destroy a monster with the lowest Attack. I'll destroy one of your Murauding Captains. Now that they're gone, Machina Fortress, attack." Kutafis said, as the cannon fired once more. (Joseph LP: 1600+1200-2500=300) "And Cyber Dragon, attack him directly." Kutafis ordered. Cyber Dragon obeyed, and shot a stream of white light at Joseph. (Joseph LP: 300-2100=0)

The crowd was cheering, and the MC was shouting now. "In a large display of a swarming deck, Team 8's Second Duelist, Kutafis has taken their team to the top!" The MC declared. "Now, they stand to move to the National Championship! And of they can keep up their record, then they'll get a chance at the World Championship as well!" The MC said. Kutafis shook Joseph's hand, and walked back towards Zero and the others. "Well, we're one step further." Kutafis said. "Now we're in the Nationals. Well, we know what we need to do, right?" Zero asked everyone. "You don't remember the rules this year? We have to think of a team name." Zero said. Everyone had the same reaction. "Right..." They all said. "Well, let's think about this... What seems fitting for us?" Akira asked. "Well, how about Team Uru?" Zero suggested. "It's a word that means 'a large gathering', and I'd say we fit that description. 7 people is a fairly large team to have, especially when we only required two wins each time." Zero said. "That sounds good." Akira agreed. "Yeah, that's a good name for us." Caden also agreed. "Well, Kyle? I'm alright with it." Kutafis said. "Yeah, that's fine by me." Kyle said. "Then it's decided. From here on out, we're known as Team Uru." Zero said.[/spoiler]

[legendhiro]

the content seems pretty good, but you gotta leave a blank line between each paragraph. otherwise its too hard to read and most people will give up.

[Dementuo]

@legendhiro:Ok, thanks. I'll make sure to do that as soon as I can.

[evilfusion]

[quote name='Dementuo' timestamp='1291770331' post='4836940']
Alright, here it is. My first Fan-Fic. Give it a read, tell me what's wrong, and what you think of it.

[b]Will do.[/b]

[spoiler=Chapter 1 - Together or Alone]

[b]AGGGGGHHH! Formating, dude! Paragraphs are awesome things. USE THEM.[/b]

Zero looked out of a small window at one end of a moderate-sized arena inside of an even larger shopping center. This was the location for the Regionals, of which Zero was participating in.

[b]Nitpicky. Regionals is shorthand for Regional Tournament or something like that.[/b]

He looked over at the arena. Already, the two teams who hadn't finished round 4 yet were dueling.

[b]So the random window overlooks an arena, I assume? Why isn't he in the arena seats like normal people? Also, non-significant numbers should be written out.[/b]

It was Fairly clear that Team 5 was going to win, instead of team 2, who had dominated all others before them.

[b]No...don't name your Teams by numbers...it looks lazy and stupid.[/b]

Now, their luck had run out. Team 5 had out a Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon, a card Zero knew all too well. On team 2's side was Cosnsecrated Light. That was a card of which Akira disliked, for a fairly obvious reason; His deck was Blackwings, all of which were DARK.

[b]This so far has felt like exposition done lazily. We still dont know much about Zero other than he's in this tournament, and we dont know who Akira is, aside from he hates an anti-DARK card because his deck is Blackwings.[/b]

Team 5's duelist drew his card as his turn started. "I summon Mirage Dragon!" The young duelist declared.

[b]This is a good insertion point for a description of the summoned monster.[/b]

"Because he's a LIGHT monster, Consecrated Light doesn't affect him. Now Mirage Dragon, attack his Concecrated Light." The yellow dragon whiplashed the tiny ball of light, shattering it on contact. "Now, Red-Eyes! Attack Directly." The larger, reflective dragon shot a fireball at the other duelist. His Life Points dropped to 0. The referee stepped up. "The victory goes to Team 5. They will move on to face the newcommers of team 8."

[b]"Newcomers" slipped by your Spellcheck. Also, only Team 5's word "team" seems to be capitalized for god knows why. Did I mention I hate team names being numbers?[/b]

The ref declared. Zero looked over at his brother Kutafis, his best friend Akira, and his brother Caden.

[b]The wording implies Caden is Zero's brother, too. Also, "the ref declared" should have been separated from his quote by a comma. Such as "...team 8," the ref declared. Dialogue that does not end the sentence should use a comma, never a period.[/b]

"Looks like my kind of opponent, that kid." Zero said. "Its interesting to see a deck so similar to yours. Maybe he's a fan?" Kutafis teased. "Like anyone else uses Gadgets anymore?" Zero responded.

[b][u]It's[/u] interesting. Contraction of "it is". By the way, ALWAYS split dialogue by paragraph. Of course, your whole story is like this, so it's a pre-emptive correction.[/b]

"Stop fighting you two. We're about to win the regionals." Caden interviened.

[b]That was fighting?[/b]

"He's right. If we can get through the last team, then we'll move onto the Nationals two weeks from now." Akira agreed. Zero turned back to the arena. "Yeah, guess you're right. Well, we should go prepare. Our match is in half an hour." Zero said. "Hey Zero, where did Zwei run off to?" Akira asked. "Oh, he went to go get my deck. He borrowed it yesterday, and never gave it back." Kutafis said. "He'll be along shortly." Kutafis said reassuringly. "Alright. We'll reconvene here in 20 minutes?" Akira suggested. "Sounds good." Zero agreed. "Let's go." Kutafis said.

[b]This dialogue is so deathly dull and sounds nothing like most people talk to one another.[/b]

With that, Akira, Zero, Kutafis, and Caden all went off to fix up their decks one last time. Zero looked down at his deck, which he had laid out on a small table. He pulled out a card. "I think I might just add in this card... They won't expec this, which'll give me an advantage..." Zero thought, as he sided a card from his deck, and exchanged it with the other one.

[b]This was a poor way to segueway into the next part. Also, this scene seems unnecessary since we dont know his deck in the first place.[/b]

After a while had passed, they had all regrouped, and prepared for the final round of the Regionals. Zero was first to go, and he was against the other dragon user. Zero started this duel. "Draw." Zero skimmed over his cards, and noticed his signature 3-card combo for this deck. "First, I'll activate One for One. I'll discard Dandylion to Special Summon The White Stone of Legend in Defense Position. And because of Dandylion, I get myself two tokens." Zero explained as the small round stone appeared, with two fluff tokens following soon after. "Next, I summon Debris Dragon. And by his effect, I revive Dandylion." Zero said. The small Stardust incarnate appeared, and Dandylion appeared next to it. "Now I'll tune my level 4 Debris Dragon with my level 3 Dandylion and my two level 1 Fluff tokens." Zero said. The two tokens, and Dandylion burst into a total of five silver stars. Debris Dragon split into four green rings. The stars passed through the rings as they all lined up, and a flash of light enveloped the rings and the stars.

[b]Oh, he uses Dragons? The conversation earlier implied he used Gadgets. So THAT'S why it was considered fighting.[/b]

"A shadow will loom, signalling the return of the forgotten souls. Rise up from your prison! Synchro Summon! Lunar Dragon - Crescent's Shadow!" Zero said. Emerging from the light was a large dragon. It was black, and had large scales alongside its arms, acting as a shield-type weapon. (2900/2600) "Now his effect! When I Synchro Summon him, I can add up to two Trap cards from my deck to my hand! I'll add Dragoon Force - Body, and Dragoon Force - Mind." Zero said as the two cards were ejected from his deck.

[b]A level 8, 2900 Synchro that lets you add any 2 Traps from your deck to your hand? Good to see you keeping OPed custom cards to a minimum.[/b]

"And don't forget. Because Dandylion was sent to the grave again, I get two more tokens." Zero mentions, as his field filled up. The ref started narrorating excitedly. "In just the first turn, the first duelist of the newcoming team has summoned his Ace Monster! And with such a devastating effect of adding trap cards to the hand, he's almost garaunteed protectiong from anything! How will the other team respond to this?" Team 5's duelist looked at the dragon in slight awe. "Quite the card you have there. And quite the deck. It's almost like mine." The young duelist said. "Heh, let's see what you can do. I lay down 3 cards and end my turn." Zero said. "[i]Alright. He has three cards down, and I know two of then. While I don't know what they do, I at least know what to expect. If anything, Body sounds like it refers to increasing the Attack stats of a monster, and Mind sounds like taking control of another monster...[/i]" The young duelist thought. "My turn, Draw!" The duelist looked over his own hand. "I activate Double Summon! This will allow my to summon Masked Dragon and Delta Flyer! Now, by Delta Flyer's effect, I buff the level of my Masked Dragon to 4! Now, I tune my Masked Dragon to my Delta Flyer, and Synchro Summon Exploder Dragonwing!" The duelist declared as the large, skeletal, and leathery dragon appeared. "I'll set two cards face-down, and end my turn." The duelist said. "Interesting play." Zero responded. "My turn, Draw!" Zero looked at the card he had drawn, and smiled a little. "I activate my first face-down, Dragoon Force - Spirit!" Zero declared, as the first card flipped up. "I select a card on my field, and then a card on yours with the same Card Type. We both have Synchro Monsters, so I pick my Crescent's Shadow, and pick your Exploder Dragonwing! Now, it's returned to your Extra Deck!" Zero explained, as the dragon flew back into its card. "Now, I activate Dragoon Force - Mind, and Dragoon Force - Body! These allow me to first: Pick out a card on the field. I get to look at it, and if I discard a card of the same card type, then I can destroy it! Let's take a look at that first Face-Down of yours." The card flipped up; There stood a Magic Cylinder. "Well, I'll discard a trap card to destroy it. I discard Dragoon Force - Soul! And when this card is sent to the grave, my monster gains 600 Attack! Now for Body. I pick another monster I control, and he gains an additional 800 Attack!" Zero explained, as the four cards were placed in his grave, the first face-down shattered, and Crescent's Shadow powered up. (2900+600+800= 4300) "And now for Crescent's Shadow's effect! He gains 300 Attack for every Trap card in my grave! It contains four, so that makes 1200 more Attack!" (4300+1200=5500) "And now, for the grand finale! While I have all four Dragoon Force cards in my grave, namely Spirit, Body, Mind, and Soul, all of my monsters gain an added ability! Once per turn, they have the ability to destroy a card on the field! However, Only one monster can do this each turn. Since I only have one, though, it makes little difference." Zero said, as the duelist's second face-down exploded. By now, he was confused as to what had just happened. "What...?" The duelist questioned himself.

[b]Yes, a very long move. I pretty much didn't follow more than a word of it, but the got the gist that Zero gets a massive advantage when all is said and done.[/b]

Zero's dragon roared. "Crescent's Shadow, attack him directly! Lunar Divindence!" Zero commanded, as the dragon rushed towards the duelist, and slashed at him with its arm scales. The duelist fell back. "Ow..." (LP: 8000 --> 2500) "I end my turn." Zero said, as his dragon's power receeded. (ATK: 4100) "Alright... I draw." The duelist said shakily. "I activate the card Spiritualism! This will return your Dragon to your hand, and this card can't be negated or chained!"

[b]Correction: It can be chained to, it can't be negated. Also, it only works on Spells or Traps. The sad part is, this card ISN'T custom, and its effect could be known by reading the card. This is a very glaring error on your part.[/b]

The boy said, as Zero's dragon left the field. "Guess that's a way around such a monster." Zero thought. "I should come up for something like that. At least I still have my White Stone, as well as two tokens." Zero thougt. "I... End my turn." The duelist said, hesitantly. By now, the MC had continued his commentation. "The first duelist of the newcomming team, Zero managed to inflict 5500 points of damage in a single blow with a fantastic display of skill and a continous supply of card combinations! However, team 5's first duelist has managed to remove the overwhelming beast from the field! Now team 8's duelist must summon it again! But can he do it a second time?" The MC shouted to the audiance. "My turn, draw. I'll summon Delta Flyer!" Zero said. The other duelist gasped a bit. "Another Tuner? Level 3, a level 2, a level 1... Makes 6, then a level 1 makes 7... I might still survive this..." The duelist said to himself. "Now, I activate my Delta Flyer's effect, raising my White Stone's level to two! Now, I tune my Delta Flyer with my two tokens to Synchro Summon X-Saber Wayne!" Zero said, as White Stone's level clicked to two, and the other three monsters burst into their respective rings and stars.

[b]Couldn't think of any other level 5 Synchros? Ally of Justice-Catastor or Magical Android would have been more likely options, but moving on..[/b]

"Now I'll tune my X-Saber Wayne with my White Stone! This will let me summon Exoder Dragonwing!" Zero said. "Phew... I'll still have 100 life points left after his attack." The duelist said. "I'm not done yet." Zero said. "I activate Dragon's Mirror! By removing my X-Saber Wayne and my Exploder Dragonwing, I summon Noble Dragon Knight, Draco-Equiste! Fusion Summon!" Zero said, as Exploder Dragonwing and the X-Saber Wayner from his grave departed into rifts, and Draco-Equiste emerged.

[b]OH! Never mind. But why did you add "Noble" to its name? Neither the English nor Japanese translation uses Noble.[/b]

(ATK: 3200) "Draco-Equiste! Direct Attack! Spiral Javelin!" Zero called, as Draco-Equiste hurled its javelin at the boy, depleteing his Life Points. "And the victor is Zero of team 8! In a spectacular play, he summoned the fabled Noble Dragon Knight, Draco-Equiste! A fusion monster, a card we haven't seen in quite some time!" The MC said to the crowd. "And in just a few moments, we'll move onto Round 2, where Kutafis of team 8 will face Joseph of team 5!" The MC continued. "Good luck, bro. You'll need it, since you never play with any other deck than your gems." Zero said as he walked past Kutafis and to the waiting area near the arena. "I'll be fine." Kutafis responded quickly, as he stepped up to the ring. "So you're Joseph, eh?" Kutafis asked. "Yep. You're Kutafis?" Joseph replyed. "I am." Kutafis said. "Let the duel... BEGIN!" The MC roared, as the crowd began cheering. "I'll take the first move." Kutafis said. "Draw. I summon Green Gadget. By his effect, I search out for Red Gadget." Kutafis said, as a card slipped out of his deck, and he placed it into his hand. "Next, I'll put two cards face down and end my turn." Kutafis declared. Joseph chuckled a bit. "Gadgets? Interesting choice. Well, let's see how powerful they really are." Joseph said. "Draw. I'll summon Twin Sword Murauder. Then, I'll equip him with Fighting Spirit, giving him an extra 300 ATK since you control 1 monster!" Joseph said, as the monster appeared, and a white aura enveloped it (ATK: 1900). "Next, I'll have Twin Sword Murauder attack Green Gadget!" Joseph declared. "Trap Card, open!" Kutafis said. Scrap-Iron Scarecrow." Kutafis said. "This card negates your attack. Then, it gets re-set on the field for me to use next turn." Kutafis explained. "Alright, I'll set a card and end my turn!" Joseph said. "Alright then." Kutafis said. "My turn, Draw! I'll activate Machine Assembly Line! This will give all of my Machine type monsters 200 extra Attack." Kutafis explained. "Next, I summon Machina Gearframe!" (ATK: 1800+200=2000)Kutafis said. "When he's Normal Summoned, I can add a Machina monster from my deck to my hand. So, I'll add Mahina Fortress. Next, by discarding Machina Fortress, and my Red Gadget, I can summon the Machina Fortress I just discarded!" Kutafis said, as a large, armored, tank-looking machine appeared. (ATK: 2500+200=2700) "Now, Machina Fortress, Attack Twin Sword Murauder!" Kutafis declared, as Machina Fortress fired off a large blast from a cannon attatched to it. Joseph's monster took the hit, but only the white aura around it faded (ATK: 1600) (Joseph's LP: 7400) "If a monster equipped with Fighting Spirit would be destroyed by battle, then I can destroy Fighting Spirit instead!" Joseph explained. "That's fine." Kutafis responded. "Now, Green Gadget! Attack his Twin Sword Murauder!" Kutafis declared once more, as Green Gadget lunged at Twin Sword Murauder, and both monsters shattered. "When a Machine-Type monster I control is destroyed, I put two Junk Counters on Machine Assembly Line." Kutafis explained. "Now Machina Gearframe, attack him directly!" Kutafis declared an attack for the third time, as the mechanical warrior struck Joseph, depleting his Life Points further. (Joseph's LP: 5400) "I end my turn." Kutafis said. "Alright, my turn. Draw! I'll activate The Warrior Returning Alive!" Joseph declared. "This will add my Twin Sword Murauder backto my hand! Now, I'll summon him, and put a card face-down. Turn End." Joseph said. "Very well then. Draw. I summon Yellow Gadget, allowing my to add another Green Gadget to my hand. However, I'm discarding it for another Machina Fortress." Kutafis said. "Now, Machina Fortress, attack Twin Sword Murauder!" Kutafis declared. "Trap Activate! Draining Shield!" Joseph said, as the first face-down flipped up. "This negates your attack, and adds it to my Life Points!" (Joseph LP: 5400+2700=8100) "No matter. Now my second Machine Fortress attacks. And I'll activate Limiter Removal. This'll double the Attack of every Machine-Type I control, then destroy them at the End Phase." Kutafis said, as another cannon blast shot through the Murauder. (Joseph LP: 8100+1600-5200=4500) "Now, Yellow Gadget, attack him directly." (Joseph LP: 5200-2800=3400) "Finally, Machina Gearframe, finish this duel off." Kutafis commanded, as the mechanical warrior landed a final punch. However, Joseph's Life Points remained. (Joseph LP: 3400-1800=1600) "I activated my Restless Bodyguard Trap card. By removing the Twin Sword Murauder in my grave when my Life Points are below 4000, I take half the Battle Damage I would normally take." Joseph explained. "Now, during my End Phase, my monster are destroyed." Kutafis said, as the monsters on his field exploded. "And because of that, my Machine Assembly Line gains six more Junk Counters, giving it a total of ten" Kutafis explained. "My turn, draw!" Joseph said. "I summon Murauding Captain. Now, by his effect, I summon another Murauding Captain. This will keep you from attacking me! And now that you're wide open, go, my Muraudig Captains! Attack him directly."

[b]Marauding.[/b]

Joseph said, as the two swordsmen slashed across Kutafis. (Kutafis LP: 8000-1200-1200=5600) "I'll end my turn with that." Kutafis said. "My turn, Draw!" Kutafis said. "Because you control a monster, yet I do not, I can Normal Summon Cyber Dragon without tributing." Kutafis said, as the mechanical dragon appeared. "Next, because I have Eight Junk Counters on my card, I can send it to the grave to revive the first Machina Fortress in my grave." Kutafis said. "Finally, I'll end my turn." Kutafis said. "Alright, my turn. Draw." Joseph looked at his hand. He had a trace of worry in his face. "I'll end my turn." Joseph said. Kutafis chuckled. "I think that this duel will be over this turn." He said. "What? You can't mean that." Joseph said stubbornly. "I draw." Kutafis looked at his card, and smiled. "It looks like I was right. I activate Fissure. This will destroy a monster with the lowest Attack. I'll destroy one of your Murauding Captains. Now that they're gone, Machina Fortress, attack." Kutafis said, as the cannon fired once more. (Joseph LP: 1600+1200-2500=300) "And Cyber Dragon,'attack him directly." Kutafis ordered. Cyber Dragon obeyed, and shot a stream of white light at Joseph. (Joseph LP: 300-2100=0) The crowd was cheering, and the MC was shouting now. "In a large display of a swarming deck, Team 8's Second Duelist, Kutafis has taken their team to the top!" The MC declared. "Now, they stand to move to the National Championship! And of they can keep up their record, then they'll get a chance at the World Championship as well!" The MC said. Kutafis shook Joseph's hand, and walked back towards Zero and the others. "Well, we're one step further." Kutafis said. "Now we're in the Nationals. Well, we know what we need to do, right?" Zero asked everyone. "You don't remember the rules this year? We have to think of a team name." Zero said.

[b]And they didn't bother to do this previously.[/b]

Everyone had the same reaction. "Right..." They all said. "Well, let's think about this... What seems fitting for us?" Akira asked. "Well, how about Team Uru?" Zero suggested. "It's a word that means 'a large gathering', and I'd say we fit that description.

[b]It also means "spider". Just saying.[/b]

7 people is a fairly large team to have, especially when we only required two wins each time." Zero said. "That sounds good." Akira agreed. "Yeah, that's a good name for us." Caden also agreed. "Well, Kyle? I'm alright with it." Kutafis said. "Yeah, that's fine by me." Kyle said. "Then it's decided. From here on out, we're known as Team Uru." Zero said.[/spoiler]
[/quote]

To be honest, the duel(s) were a bit dull. They weren't so much a battle back and forth as much as one player at a time doing massively large turns, and the opponent making one small one at a time. Similarly, the duels weren't close games, so they were lacking in suspense or excitement. It was really one-sided while pretending not to be one sided. In both duels, one player dealt over 5000 damage in one turn, and at best, the opponent dealt back about 2000.

[Dementuo]

Well, my first time is bound to have some errors. A couple of your points were explained later on, though it may not be as soon as you like. And I fixed the paragraphs issue.

I'll make sure to keep that review in mind while writing the next chapter.
I do admit, though, that I wanted to put this out rather quickly, as my computer was acting up again...
Well, enough excuses. Thanks for the review. I appreciate it. ^^