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Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Revolution

Haberdashery1

By Haberdashery1
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Haberdashery1 Newbie

Haberdashery1

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Hello, and welcome to my fairly new fan fiction. The fan fiction follows a normal boy called Harry McIntyre who has a Deck full of LIGHT monsters as he goes through trials and tribulations. Each "Episode" will work in three different acts, with Act One being the introduction, Act Two being the beginning part of the main duel, and Act Three being the climax.

NOTE: I am an amateur, constructed criticism is necessary, not biased please.
The chapters are at Post #6. The card database is at Post #8.

[spoiler=character list]
[spoiler=main characters (Updated after every chapter)]
[b]Harry McIntyre[/b] - Harry McIntyre is a boy who has live in Ruin City for the best part of his life. he has always wanted to move away, and after the encounter with officer Truncheon, he manages to escape.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=minor characters (Updated after every chapter)]
[b]Officer Truncheon[/b] - The main officer that patrols Ruin City, Officer Truncheon keeps the law on its toes. If anyone tries to escape, he ends up managing to find and bring them back to Ruin City.

[b]Derek[/b] - A normal boy, Derek moved to Deluxe City when he was just six, but is now thirteen, as he is similar to Harry's age. Not much is known about Derek at this time, though.

[b]Wayne[/b] - A person who is beaten by Gary in a duel, he tries to apply for Duel Academy, but fails.

[b]Gary[/b] - A person who beats Wayne in a duel, he can be ignorant and has been accepted to Duel Academy, if he ranks in the Top 15 out of 20.

[b]Caped Figure[/b] - Not much is known about this character, he is the first proper villain in the series. He communicates using his mind.

[b]Posh British Guy[/b] - He helps to run Duel Academy, but he is not seen at all in Episode 1 or elsewhere other than Duel Academy in Episode 2.

[b]Master Hiro[/b] - A teacher at Duel Academy 3, he helps with the entrance exam.

[b]Academy Teachers[/b] - Two unnamed teachers at Duel Academy 3, they help with the entrance exam.
[/spoiler][/spoiler]

YUGIOH (C) KAZUKI TAKAHASHI 1996
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Kaisu Newbie

Kaisu

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This..

Was actually pretty good.

I'd work on descriptions and write down what the cards do.

As of now Harry, Derek, Truncheon and their cards are just stick figures and pieces of paper.

Also, there's no backstory. Even if you're slowly going to reveal it... At least explain.

Where is Harry? Where is Deluxe City? What is it? Who's Derek? etc.

If you expand on this from this...

You've got potential.

[Just a side note. Use 'Duel' instead of 'Chapter' and 'Turn' instead of 'Act'? Just seems more Yugi-y.]

Lots of it. And it's not often I praise(Well, criticize as well =/) fanfics on this site.

Good work.

;3
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Dr. Cakey Newbie

Dr. Cakey

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[spoiler='Growing Praise and Adulation Episode 7: THE LAW!'][b]Episode 1 - The Duel Begins[/b]

[u]Act One[/u]
[b]Usually Acts are bigger than chapters. Just [s]sayin’[/s]Saiyan.[/b]

It was a cold and wintry night. Twelve year old Harry McIntyre was looking at the ground as he ran towards the end of Ruin City.
[b]Where to begin, where to begin. I think I’ll start by saying that twelve is young for Yugimonz. And over here, Ruin City appears to have an ‘end’. Aside from the fact that naming the place ‘Ruin City’ kind of [i]ruins[/i] your tourist trade, what kind of end does it have? A twenty-foot high wall? A deep chasm? A moat of lava?[/b]

He was going to escape! He had always dreamed of escaping the homeless life. His role model was the legendary duellist Yusei Fudo, as he had lived in poverty for some of his life.
[b]Yusei also believed in the power of good spelling, along with the usefulness of having dramatic camera angles when you draw.
[/b]
This city had always been in poverty. As Harry was running towards the connection into Deluxe City,
[b]It seems naming cities after how nice they are is a trend. It’s like naming the home of zee robots ‘Robotopolis’ or something.[/b]

he thought about his life after he had received a Yu-Gi-Oh card...
[b]And the screen faded to a gently blurred flashback sequence. And I thought this game had a name within the story universe, like…Duel Monster, maybe? Duel Monsters, that was it.[/b]

"I summon [b]Light Warrior (1500/ 1000)[/b] in attack position!" he shouted as he was sitting opposite his best friend, Derek. Derek had gone to live in Deluxe City, and Harry dreamed that he would be like Derek...
[b]You need more than one card to duel, you know. And how did Derek get to Deluxe City? You’re indicating it’s not easy to do – otherwise Harry wouldn’t be ‘escaping’.
[/b]
Suddenly, he saw flashing lights skim the front of his face as an Officer got out of the car. He was called Truncheon, but not because of his weapons - it was because he had a Goblin Deck, and his trump card was very powerful.
[b]Why, what does ‘truncheon’ mean? Am I out of it, or are you an idiot?[/b]

"What are you doing, kid?" he asked.

"I'm not a kid!" Harry replied. "I'm trying to escape!"
[b]Whoa, did we leave the flashback already? That was fast. And, uh…you are a kid.[/b]

"Really?" Truncheon asked. His muscular-like body
[b]Muscular…like? Does that mean it only looked like he had muscles?[/b]

was supported by his big head - literally!
[b]Okay, take a deep breath and read this over. You’re saying his muscular (-like) body is supported by his head. Heads…don’t support much.[/b]

He carried a bat in one coat pocket, and a deck in the other pocket of his navy blue officer jacket. He played Goblins, and had never lost a game. "If you win against me, then I will let you go into Deluxe City!"
[b]How do you carry a bat in your pocket? Is it a fold-up bat? Anyway, this is classic Yu-Gi-Oh! re-re-interpretation. There’s a fine line between blocking someone’s way and challenging them to a duel and saying “hey wait d00l me pl0x”. Both are bad, but the second is worse.[/b]

"Alright!" Harry answered, his boyish face gleaming under the moon. "I'll take you on!"

The two duellists took their places in the duel ring. No-one was there, give or take a few cops.
[b]A duel ring just happened to be right there? Or did they warp to the duel ring with forgetting-to-put-in-a-paragraph powers?[/b]

Truncheon took out his deck and put it into his navy blue Duel Disk. He had a very powerful motive for winning - and, to him, he thought Harry was a simpleton.
[b]He has a very powerful motive? Aside from the fact that motives aren’t ‘powerful’, he doesn’t seem to have much of a motive, anyway. It seems to be confined to, “I…am…THE LAW!!!” (Kudos if you got that reference)[/b]

"Let's duel!" they both shouted at exactly the same time.
[b]What a convenient coincidence. They do this in the anime for effect, but harping on it just looks bad. Obviously you don’t need to have each one say “letz d00l!!!!11111!” individually, just cut after ‘shouted’.[/b]

(Harry: 4000) (Truncheon: 4000)
[b]I’d personally prefer to have this formatted slightly more elegantly, but that’s the least of my concerns. Anyway, after six episodes, I can finally critique a duel. Let’s see how this turns out.[/b]

[u]Act Two[/u]
[b]Did I mention this ‘act’ business was kind of stupid?[/b]

Truncheon drew his first six cards and smiled. "I summon my [b]Truncheon Goblin (1100/ 1800)[/b] in attack position!" He then placed a card face-down and ended his turn.
[b]What a coincidence that his monster is named after him is named after the monster. Whatever, I think there’s something I’m missing. Now, let’s go over turn structure.

In the anime (that is, the Japanese version, which I foolishly assume most people are styling these on), players follow this basic dialogue structure…
1. “My turn. Draw!” Obviously you can play around with punctuation and if you want to say “It’s my turn”, etc.
2. “I summon Kuriboh in Attack Position!” Duel dialogue should be sparse, so saying (for example) “my Kuriboh” is generally unnecessary. Try to remember to capitalize that which should be capitalized.
3. “I activate the Continuous Trap: Shard of Hope!” Variations on this would be, “I activate the Trap Card Half Counter!” or the sparse, “Activate Spell: Lightning Vortex.” For Speed Spells, I like, “I activate Speed Spell – The End of Storm!” omitting the article before ‘Speed Spell’.
4. “Go, Shooting Star Dragon! Attack Machine Emperor Wisel Infinity! Stardust Mirage!” Attack commands are going to have an excessive number of exclamation points. As such, you may want to contract to something like: “Shooting Star Dragon, attack Machine Emperor Wisel Infinity! Stardust Mirage!”
5. “I’m tuning my Level 2 Quillbolt Hedgehog, Level 2 Shield Wing, and Level 4 Debris Dragon.” I’m pretty sure this is how the pre-Synchro should be done, but there are some variations. Anyway, “Clustering wishes will become a new shining star. Become the path its light shines upon! Synchro Summon! Take flight, Stardust Dragon!” For best effect, the summon chant should broken up between the first and second verses, and then again between “Synchro Summon!” and the monster’s introduction. Don’t worry about going overboard here.
5. “I set 3 cards face-down.” Not much to say.
6. “Turn end.” Vary with “I end my turn.” Just, “I end.” Etc.

And there you go, one gigantic wall of text.[/b]

"My draw!" Harry shouted, "and I summon my [b]Light Serpent (500/ 800)[/b] in attack position!"

"What are you gonna do?" Truncheon asked. "Shine me to no Life Points? That card is pathetic!"
Ahahahaha…ha. Ha. Who wrote this? 4Kids? Oh.

"Have you heard of a phrase called 'look before you leap'?" Harry asked in knowledge of what he was going to do.
I should hope Harry knows what his monster can do. Oh, but that’s small potatoes, because Truncheon hasn’t done any pre-look leaping. If any is, it’s Harry, since he’s risking a weak monster against a stronger one and a face-down card. Not actually a high-risk situation, but by his logic it’s probably suicidal.

"My monster has an effect! It can attack you directly - and I'm going to do that straight away!" Light Serpent shone into Truncheon's Life Points (Truncheon: 3500).
ZOMG EPIC EFFECT! I’m not going to analyze exactly how the serpent ‘shone into’ his Life Points.

"I end my turn!" Harry declared after setting 2 cards in his Spell/ Trap Card zone.
Spell/Trap looks awfully unprofessional. Spell it out as Spell and Trap Card Zone if you’re going to. But really, I wasn’t concerned he was setting them in his Monster Card Zones.

"I activate [b]Pot of Greed[/b]!"
There’s some leeway as to exactly what cards should and shouldn’t be on the ‘anime banlist’, but Pot of Greed is a no-no, especially since Truncheon isn’t in a pinch – he has five cards in his hand.

Truncheon declared. After drawing two cards, he summoned a second [b]Truncheon Goblin[/b] in attack, and revealed a Spell Card in his hand. "I activate the Spell Card [b]Truncheon's Effect[/b]!
What kind of a card name is Truncheon’s Effect? Did Yusei ever play, “What Stardust Dragon Does”? No, I’m pretty sure it was called Shooting Star, and it blew stuffz up. Also, he didn’t reveal the Spell Card – reveal has an actual in-game meaning, unorite?

Now, since I have two [b]Truncheon Goblins[/b] out on the field, they can both attack directly!"
That…kind of sucks. I just realized, I don’t know what Truncheon Goblin looks like.

The first one attacked directly, but Harry deflected it with a face-down [b]Magic Cylinder[/b]
(Truncheon: 2400).
[b]That’s it? Two cylinders appeared, one absorbing the attack and the other firing it back directly at the unprepared players is just ‘deflected by a face-down Magic Cylinder’?
[/b]
The second attack, however, was successful (Harry: 2900).
[b]Thought about it a second or two more, and I realized that was a dreadful move. If it were me, I would have attacked Light Serpent instead to reduce his field presence and prevent it from performing a second direct attack. Ignoring the Magic Cylinder for the moment, that would have dealt 1100 + (1100-500) = 1700 damage, instead of the full 2200, a small price to pay for clearing away his only monster. The Magic Cylinder would have complicated things, but he could still have used Truncheon’s Effect - no, I’m going to rename that Truncheon Charge – another turn.[/b]

After declaring that his turn was at an end, Harry drew a card, and summoned a [b]Light Warrior[/b] in Attack Position - however, he was not done.
[b]Great. Just out of curiousity, what’s Light Warrior’s ATK/DEF?[/b]

"I activate a [b]Double Summon[/b]!" he declared. "I tribute both my [b]Light Warrior[/b] and [b]Light Serpent[/b] in order to summon my [b]Light Goddess (2000/ 2100)[/b]! Due to her effect, she gains the combined attack of both monsters that I tributed halved!"
[b]I was thinking, “hey, that’s not bad for an anime beatstick”, and then he said “halved”. Come on, it’s a two-tribute monster!
[/b]
Truncheon could only stare as [b]Light Goddess[/b] grew to one-and-a-half times the size of what it originally was, and the attack count increased to 3000.
[b]Let’s see, that means 250 of its ATK came from Light Serpent, leaving 750 from Light Warrior, so Light Warrior had 1500 ATK. ‘Kay. Now, does it seem stupid to anyone else that Light Goddess got bigger when it got stronger. There were a few episodes of 5D’s in which this was the case, but it was a mistake. Very few monsters can get away with physically getting larger.[/b]

"Now I attack your [b]Truncheon Goblin[/b] with my [b]Light Goddess[/b]!" Harry shouted, and the monster was vanquished after a surge of light depleted some more of Truncheon's Life Points (Truncheon: 500). Cheers went up as the three or four cops shouted for Harry.
[b]Why are there cops cheering for Harry? I thought Truncheon…was…THE LAW! Anyway, I thought Truncheon had never lost a game. He’s getting steamrolled by a ten-year-old, which makes perfect sense IRL, but this is kind of silly. And why has his face-down proved totally useless?[/b]

"Since my [b]Truncheon Goblin[/b] was destroyed, I can add any card of my choice from ym Deck to my hand, apart from another copy of the card - and I choose the Spell Card [b]Power of the Goblin[/b]!"
[b]So you can add any card except another “Truncheon Goblin”? That’s not broken at all. It would make more sense if it let you add a “Goblin” card or a “Truncheon” card to your hand.
[/b]
Now it was truncheon's turn,
[b]Capitalization?[/b]

and as he drew, he activated a Trap Card - [b]Call of the Haunted[/b]!
[b]Okay, that explains why he didn’t activate it.[/b]

This revived his recently destroyed monster, and then he revealed another face-down.
[b]He uh…doesn’t have any other face-downs. Nice.[/b]

"I activate my [b]Truncheon's Retreat[/b]! Now I return both [b]Truncheon Goblins[/b] on the field to my Deck in order to Special Summon my trump card!"
[b]Then it’s not really a retreat, is it? I’ll call it…Truncheon Trump.[/b]

Cheers went up for Truncheon. "Come out! [b]Mega[/b] - [b]Truncheon[/b] - [b]Goblin (2500/ 2000)[/b]!" A lumbering giant of a monster appeared before Harry's eyes, causing even his [b]Light Goddess[/b] to cower in fear - but the terror wasn't over yet!
[b]No terror yet. Right now it’s weaker than Light Goddess.[/b]

"Now I can Special Summon all [b]Truncheon Goblins[/b] from my Deck as possible!"
[b]All goblins as possible. Nice. Real nice. Anyway, still no terror.[/b]

harry had hoped he wouldn't see them again after Truncheon's returning them to the Deck - but all three of them appeared before his eyes!
[b]omg there atk is 2 hi tehy cen kil sangen[/b]

"My [b]Mega Truncheon Goblin[/b] gains the combined Attack of all three [b]Truncheon Goblins[/b] on the field!" The Fusion monster grew in size, as its attack increased from 2500 to 5800!
[b]It’s…not a Fusion Monster. You indicated it was just stored in the deck. Anyway, at least it can gain a decent amount of ATK, even though it depends on three weak monsters to do it.[/b]

"I attack with him!" [b]Light Goddess[/b] was trampled by the monsters foot (Harry: 100), but Truncheon was going to be kind for a turn. "I know you'll lose next turn, so I activate my Spell Card - [b]Power of the Goblin[/b]! Now I gain Life Points equal to half the Attack of one monster on my side of the field - and I choose my [b]Mega Truncheon Goblin[/b]!" A blue aura appeared around Truncheon as he regenerated in Life Points (Truncheon: 3400), and he declared the end of his turn as more cheers erupted for the officer.
[b]No. No no no. This did not happen. He did not just decide to give his opponent a bye. You, sir, officially fail.[/b]

[u]Act Three[/u]
[b]Adding acts doesn’t make you look smarter.[/b]

"I need a good card now!" Harry shouted. "What was it a former King of Games said? That's right! Truncheon!" Harry finally shouted. "You'll lose this turn!"
[b]Did he say that? Uh…he probably did, but that’s hardly Yugi’s catch-phrase or anything.[/b]

"Will I?" Truncheon asked in the thought that he would win in the next turn.
[b]I can’t decide if I want him to draw Dark Hole or Hinotama.

EDIT: Made a mistake, forgot about him gaining Life Points from Power of the Goblin.[/b]

"Yeah!" Harry answered. "I'll use the heart of the cards!"
[b]Go, Destiny Draw! This let’s me randomly add one of three pre-selected cards to my hand instead of drawing normally. Someone should write a fic where a character needs to topdeck but they know what the top card is and it won’t help (maybe it’s Horn of the Unicorn), but they win by using the Destiny Draw feature. Hilarity ensues.[/b]

As he thought about his next card, he drew... "Yes!" he shouted as he saw the card. "I activate [b]Pot of Greed[/b] to draw two cards!"
[b]With this draw, he has two cards in-hand. That’s enough to pull of a victory without drawing more.[/b]

After drawing the two cards, he noticed one of his best cards among them - [u]Power of the Light[/u]! "Now I activate a Monster Reborn to revive my [b]Light Goddess[/b]!" Its attack was restored, but Harry wasn't done yet. He activated his [b]Power of the Light[/b] straight from his hand. "I halve my monsters attack! Now what happens is that I draw. When I draw a monster or a spell card, I can discard it to attack you directly!" [b]Light Goddess[/b] halved in size, and Truncheon looked shocked.
[b]I can’t believe he played a perfectly balanced card![/b]

Cheers went up for Harry, who now had the upper hand, and Truncheon sneered at them. Harry drew his first card. "I draw a [b]Light Serpent[/b] and discard it immediately!" Truncheon was struck with a blow from [b]Light Goddess[/b] (Truncheon: 2400). "I draw a [b]Light Warrior[/b] and discard it immediately!"
[b]Oh…this keeps going until he draws a non-monster/spell. Das broken.[/b]

Another blow from [b]Light Goddess[/b] (Truncheon: 1400). "I draw a [b]Valley of the Light[/b] and discard it immediately!" yet another blow from [b]Light Goddess[/b] (Truncheon: 400). Time to draw a card. To Harry, it was quick. To Truncheon, it was slow. He set it. "I drew a [b]Magic Cylinder[/b]," he announced, and there were groans in the audience. "I end my turn!" Harry finally announced.
[b]oic u want 2 draw it out [/b]

"Finally!" Truncheon shouted. He just changed all of his monsters to defence, and ended his turn.
[b]That makes his Mega Goblin more vulnerable, doesn’t it?[/b]

Harry drew a card. It was [b]Solar Ray[/b], and set it. he ended.
[b]Phew, so he wins now, good -[/b]

Truncheon just drew and ended. he knew that it was some kind of Trap - but he didn't know what.
[b]Why didn’t Harry activate Solar Ray?[/b]

Harry drew his card, and smiled. "I activate my face-down Trap Card - [b]Solar Ray[/b]!" after revealing a [b]Light Child[/b] in his hand, Harry had been declared the duels' winner.
[b]Solar Ray inflicts damage based on the number of LIGHT monsters on the field, not in the hand. He didn’t need to wait.[/b]

Truncheon looked in shock as Harry walked away. he had actually been beaten.

"No! You can't walk away!" he shouted. "You live here!"
[b]A child winning at children’s card games?????????[/b]


"We had a deal," Harry replied. "I win, and I can leave. I lose, and I can't...
[b]But you did win, so why put what you do when you lose second. You WON! Be HAPPY! God I want to strangle that kid.

Was this bad? Yes. It seems after so much Foe Fictional abuse, people are finally spellchecking, but it looks like this wasn’t done in Word, since some sentences haven’t had their first letters capitalized. And that was a horrible duel. That was pretty damn bad.[/b][/spoiler]
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Haberdashery1 Newbie

Haberdashery1

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[spoiler=season (Book) 1]
[spoiler=mysterious duellists arc]
[spoiler=episode (Chapter) synopses]

[b]Episode 1 - The Duel Begins[/b]
After trying to escape from Ruin City for yet another time, Officer Truncheon decides he's had enough of playing cat and mouse - and challenges Harry to a duel - but if Harry loses, then he will be banned from trying to escape the city for another time!

[b]Episode 2 - The Mysterious Duellist (Part One)[/b]
After witnessing a duel take place in Deluxe City, Harry meets a duellist who is cloaked in black who duels him. Can he win in this duel, or will he lose?

[b]Episode 3 - The Mysterious Duellist (Part Two)[/b]
With just 500 LP left, can Harry manage to defeat the cloaked figure, or will he be defeated - and what is the price if he loses?

[b]Episode 4 - Attack of the Arachnids[/b]
After witnessing a guy bullying some kids for their best cards, Harry decides to intervene and duel the guy. What turns out to be a strong deck begins looking weak. Can Harry defeat him and win all the cards back, or will he lose his best card - Light Goddess?[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Episodes]

[spoiler=Episode 1 - The Duel Begins]

[u]Act One[/u]

It was a cold and wintry night. Twelve year old Harry McIntyre was looking at the ground as he ran towards the end of Ruin City. He was going to escape! He had always dreamed of escaping the homeless life. His role model was the legendary duellist Yusei Fudo, as he had lived in poverty for some of his life. This city had always been in poverty. As Harry was running towards the connection into Deluxe City, he thought about his life after he had received a Duel Monsters card...

"I summon [b]Light Warrior (1500/ 1000)[/b] in attack position!" he shouted as he was sitting opposite his best friend, Derek. Derek had gone to live in Deluxe City, and Harry dreamed that he would be like Derek...

Suddenly, he saw flashing lights skim the front of his face as an Officer got out of the car. He was called Truncheon, but not because of his weapons - it was because he had a Goblin Deck, and his trump card was very powerful.

"What are you doing, kid?" he asked.

"I'm not a kid!" Harry replied. "I'm trying to escape!"

"Really?" Truncheon asked. His muscular-like body was supported by his big head - literally! He carried a bat in one coat pocket, and a deck in the other pocket of his navy blue officer jacket. He played Goblins, and had never lost a game. "If you win against me, then I will let you go into Deluxe City!"

"Alright!" Harry answered, his boyish face gleaming under the moon. "I'll take you on!"

The two duellists took their places in the duel ring. No-one was there, give or take a few cops. Truncheon took out his deck and put it into his navy blue Duel Disk. He had a very powerful motive for winning - and, to him, he thought Harry was a simpleton.

"Let's duel!" they both shouted at exactly the same time. (Harry: 4000) (Truncheon: 4000)

[u]Act Two[/u]

Truncheon drew his first six cards and smiled. "I summon my [b]Truncheon Goblin (1100/ 1800)[/b] in attack position!" He then placed a card face-down and ended his turn.

"My draw!" Harry shouted, "and I summon my [b]Light Serpent (500/ 800)[/b] in attack position!"

"What are you gonna do?" Truncheon asked. "Shine me to no Life Points? That card is pathetic!"

"Have you heard of a phrase called 'look before you leap'?" Harry asked in knowledge of what he was going to do. "My monster has an effect! It can attack you directly - and I'm going to do that straight away!" Light Serpent shone into Truncheon's Life Points (Truncheon: 3500). "I end my turn!" Harry declared after setting 2 cards in his Spell/ Trap Card zone.

"I activate [b]Pot of Greed[/b]!" Truncheon declared. After drawing two cards, he summoned a second [b]Truncheon Goblin[/b] in attack, and revealed a Spell Card in his hand. "I activate the Spell Card [b]Truncheon's Effect[/b]! Now, since I have two [b]Truncheon Goblins[/b] out on the field, they can both attack directly!" The first one attacked directly, but Harry deflected it with a face-down [b]Magic Cylinder[/b] (Truncheon: 2400). The second attack, however, was successful (Harry: 2900).

After declaring that his turn was at an end, Harry drew a card, and summoned a [b]Light Warrior[/b] in Attack Position - however, he was not done. "I activate a [b]Double Summon[/b]!" he declared. "I tribute both my [b]Light Warrior[/b] and [b]Light Serpent[/b] in order to summon my [b]Light Goddess (2000/ 2100)[/b]! Due to her effect, she gains the combined attack of both monsters that I tributed halved!" Truncheon could only stare as [b]Light Goddess[/b] grew to one-and-a-half times the size of what it originally was, and the attack count increased to 3000. "Now I attack your [b]Truncheon Goblin[/b] with my [b]Light Goddess[/b]!" Harry shouted, and the monster was vanquished after a surge of light depleted some more of Truncheon's Life Points (Truncheon: 500). Cheers went up as the three or four cops shouted for Harry.

"Since my [b]Truncheon Goblin[/b] was destroyed, I can add any card of my choice from ym Deck to my hand, apart from another copy of the card - and I choose the Spell Card [b]Power of the Goblin[/b]!" Now it was Truncheon's turn, and as he drew, he activated a Trap Card - [b]Call of the Haunted[/b]! This revived his recently destroyed monster, and then he revealed another face-down. "I activate my [b]Truncheon's Retreat[/b]! Now I return both [b]Truncheon Goblins[/b] on the field to my Deck in order to Special Summon my trump card!" Cheers went up for Truncheon. "Come out! [b]Mega[/b] - [b]Truncheon[/b] - [b]Goblin (2500/ 2000)[/b]!" A lumbering giant of a monster appeared before Harry's eyes, causing even his [b]Light Goddess[/b] to cower in fear - but the terror wasn't over yet! "Now I can Special Summon all [b]Truncheon Goblins[/b] from my Deck as possible!" harry had hoped he wouldn't see them again after Truncheon's returning them to the Deck - but all three of them appeared before his eyes! "My [b]Mega Truncheon Goblin[/b] gains the combined Attack of all three [b]Truncheon Goblins[/b] on the field!" The Fusion monster grew in size, as its attack increased from 2500 to 5800! "I attack with him!" [b]Light Goddess[/b] was trampled by the monsters foot (Harry: 100), but Truncheon was going to be kind for a turn. "I know you'll lose next turn, so I activate my Spell Card - [b]Power of the Goblin[/b]! Now I gain Life Points equal to half the Attack of one monster on my side of the field - and I choose my [b]Mega Truncheon Goblin[/b]!" A blue aura appeared around Truncheon as he regenerated in Life Points (Truncheon: 3400), and he declared the end of his turn as more cheers erupted for the officer.

[u]Act Three[/u]

"I need a good card now!" Harry shouted. "What was it a former King of Games said? That's right! Truncheon!" Harry finally shouted. "You'll lose this turn!"

"Will I?" Truncheon asked in the thought that he would win in the next turn.

"Yeah!" Harry answered. "I'll use the heart of the cards!" As he thought about his next card, he drew... "Yes!" he shouted as he saw the card. "I activate [b]Pot of Greed[/b] to draw two cards!" After drawing the two cards, he noticed one of his best cards among them - [b]Power of the Light[/b]! "Now I activate a Monster Reborn to revive my [b]Light Goddess[/b]!" Its attack was restored, but Harry wasn't done yet. He activated his [b]Power of the Light[/b] straight from his hand. "I halve my monsters attack! Now what happens is that I draw. When I draw a monster or a spell card, I can discard it to attack you directly!" [b]Light Goddess[/b] halved in size, and Truncheon looked shocked. Cheers went up for Harry, who now had the upper hand, and Truncheon sneered at them. Harry drew his first card. "I draw a [b]Light Serpent[/b] and discard it immediately!" Truncheon was struck with a blow from [b]Light Goddess[/b] (Truncheon: 2400). "I draw a [b]Light Warrior[/b] and discard it immediately!" Another blow from [b]Light Goddess[/b] (Truncheon: 1400). "I draw a [b]Valley of the Light[/b] and discard it immediately!" yet another blow from [b]Light Goddess[/b] (Truncheon: 400). Time to draw a card. To Harry, it was quick. To Truncheon, it was slow. He set it. "I drew a [b]Magic Cylinder[/b]," he announced, and there were groans in the audience. "I end my turn!" Harry finally announced.

"Finally!" Truncheon shouted. He just changed all of his monsters to defence, and ended his turn.

Harry drew a card. It was [b]Solar Ray[/b], and set it. he ended.

Truncheon just drew and ended. he knew that it was some kind of Trap - but he didn't know what.

Harry drew his card, and smiled. "I activate my face-down Trap Card - [b]Solar Ray[/b]!" after revealing a [b]Light Child[/b] in his hand, Harry had been declared the duels' winner. Truncheon looked in shock as Harry walked away. he had actually been beaten.

"No! You can't walk away!" he shouted. "You live here!"

"We had a deal," Harry replied. "I win, and I can leave. I lose, and I can't..."[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Episode Two - The Mysterious Duellist (Part One)]

[u]Act One[/u]

It was a bright, sunny day in Deluxe City, located east of the dreaded life at Ruin City. Out of the darkness, Harry appeared with his Duel Disk and his Deck. He had wanted to come here for ages, and had even been saving up some spare change that he could find. He; however, had been given some change from the cops that had been biased towards whoever would win the duel. Truncheon had gone berserk, and they had all lost against him...

"I attack you directly with my [b]Coach Goblin[/b] (1200/ 1500) (Cop: 0)!" he had shouted in one duel. In another, he had managed to attack with [b]Truncheon Goblin [/b] (1100/ 1800) (Cop: 0). Harry had wondered how much chaos had been caused from Truncheon going mental...

Harry felt his whole face hit something wet with a strange substance that he had never seen before. He pulled it loose from the surface, and found that he was staring up at a towering lamppost on the corner of a street that he could only just mark out as Academy Street, as he was a long way away from the sign. It had never occured to him; however, that he could have turned around. He then looked across the road and saw a big building with a massive white dome on the top for a roof, and a Duel Monsters card with three stars on it. He walked into it, and very briefly saw an information desk, which he started to pass, until he bumped into someone in a cape. The man just stared at Harry, and walked out of the building, before the twelve year old, who was very puzzled by the man, walked through to a new room.

"Hey, you!" another man exclaimed in a posh British accent. "Are you here for the trials? Duel Academy is the most prestigious place in the world!" Harry turned around, and saw a man of about forty in a blue coat walk over to him.

"No, sorry!" Harry replied with a grin and a sigh. "I'm just here to watch the duels!" The man stopped at Harry's side, and the boy saw that he was significantly smaller as when he was thirteen steps above him, or thereabouts.

"Well, you need to sign in next time! What if we have an invasion, such as when Academy Island was attacked on so many occasions all that time ago?" Harry nodded, and looked at a duel that was currently taking place behind him.

Two people took their places in the Duel Ring, and a red number was being displayed - the Ring Number. It was a number 3, and it also displayed the two duellists' names - Wayne and Gary.

[u]Act Two[/u]

"Duel!" they shouted. Wayne exclaimed "I draw, and activate my Spell Card - [b]Polymerization[/b]! I fuse two monsters, [b]Steamroid[/b] (1800/ 1800) and [b]Gyroid[/b] (1000/ 1000), to create my [b]Steam Gyroid[/b] (2200/ 1600)! Then I set a card, and end my turn!"

"Draw!" Gary shouted as he stared with intent at Wayne, and looked at his hand as he entered his Standby Phase. He considered the opportunities, and then finally made a move, in his first Main Phase. "I activate [b]Dark Hole[/b] to destroy your [b]Steam Gyroid[/b]! Then I activate [b]Heavy Storm[/b]!" A massive black hole combined with a blue tornado to wipe the field clean, but the duellists were absolutely safe. "Now I summon my [b]Sage of Stillness[/b] (1400/ 1000) in Attack Position!" A wizard appeared on the field, and Wayne looked with shock at the averagely powerful Level 4. Even though it wasn't that much of a threat, it could still cut through his Life Points. Then, Gary did the inevitable - he attacked. The Spellcaster chanted some words, and then blasted white energy to his opponenet (Wayne: 2600). "I set a card and end!" he declared.

Wayne drew, and looked at his hand. He had a multiple number of moves to perform, and he decided that he needed more. "I activate [b]Pot of Greed[/b] to draw 2 cards!" he shouted. A big jug appeared before Gary's eyes, and spawned 2 cards, which flew into Wayne's hand. Next, I activate [b]Monster Reborn[/b] to bring back my [b]Steam Gyroid[/b], in attack position!" A chuckling steam train appeared before Gary's eyes, and attacked [b]Sage of Stillness[/b], but it was destroyed by a face-down [b]Sakuretsu Armour[/b]. Seeing one more card he could place face-down, he set it, and ended.

Gary drew a card, and knew that this was going to help him win, now. "I activate [b]Double Summon[/b]!" he declared. Then, he summoned 2 [b]Sage Of Stillness[/b] monsters in attack, and attacked with the first one; however, a [b]Magic Cylinder[/b] appeared, and absorbed the attack coming from the monster, and it was fired back at Gary. He wouldn't stop there, though, as Wayne was defenceless, and he had enough Life Points to be defeated. "[b]Sage Of Stillness[/b]! Attack his Life Points directly!" The first [b]Sage Of Stillness[/b] combined his attacks with the second, and they both fired a white ball of light at Wayne. (Wayne: 0).

[u]Act Three[/u]

"The winner is Gary Hodgkins!" the P/A announced, and the two duellists were sent out of the duel arena. Harry approached the two duellists as they came walking up the stairs.

"Hey! Well done out there!" he shouted. Gary just looked at him with a look of disgust that this person was speaking to him. "Hey!" Harry shouted as Gary just ignored him. He then decided to go talk to Wayne. He couldn't help but remember the caped figure that had bumped into him - and then he suddenly saw that he was outside Duel Academy. Walking around, there was not a soul in sight. Harry was always the first to notice that, but didn't know why - and then the same man (or so Harry thought) appeared before his eyes.

The mysterious duellist just looked Harry in the eyes. Before the amateur duellist knew it, he had drawn six cards.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked as the man smiled. Harry had drawn, and summoned, a [b]Light Warrior[/b] (1500/ 1000) in attack position. "Fine!" he shouted. "If it's a duel you want, it's a duel you'll get!" (Harry: 4000). "I set a card and end!"

The caped figure just drew a card, and was not speaking in any way. He Summoned an monster unknown to Harry.

"What is that card?" he asked. The image of the card suddenly appeared in Harry's head, and the young boy saw that it was a [b]Shadow Guard[/b] (1500/ 1000) and was in Attack. Now, a new hologram appeared, and it was of the Spell Card [b]Mystical Space Typhoon[/b]! The caped figure still kept silent, but he was smiling - Harry had used his common sense on that one. Harry was concentrating so much on the caped figure, that he hadn't noticed [b]Brain Control[/b] being activated (Caped Figure: 3200) to take control of [b]Light Warrior[/b]! Harry suddenly felt a pain throbbing down the side of his back as he was attacked by both monsters (Harry: 1000). When he came to, it was his turhn, and the caped figure had set a card.

He drew [b]Light Serpent[/b] (500/ 800), and immediately summoned it in Attack. "I use my [b]Light Serpent[/b] to attack you directly!" The Reptile-Type monster turned into an electric volt of lightning, but was immediately deflected by a barrier - the caped figure had activated [b]Magic Cylinder[/b]! (Harry: 500) Now that his [b]Light Warrior[/b] had been worn off of [b]Brain Control[/b], he decided to attack [b]Shadow Guard[/b] with it, destroying them both! He needed to win this duel - and fast!

[b][i][u]TO BE CONTINUED[/u][/i][/b][/spoiler]

[spoiler=Episode 3 - The Mysterious Duellist (Part Two)]

[b][i][u]Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Revolution[/u][/i][/b], Harry had finally made it to Deluxe City, and had even witnessed a duel between two people called Wayne and Gary! Wayne had been playing a deck full of Roid monsters, and Gary had won with his Spellcaster deck! After Harry had left the duel, which was held in Duel Academy, he got caught up in a Duel of his own - with a caped figure! Can he win the duel?

[u]Act One[/u]

Gary walked towards the desk at the entrance exam. He was content with himself, and there were three people at the desk. He acknowledged that he had won, and they gave him a specified number. The middle person that was at the desk just nodded, and they looked at each other for a moment, before the number was also entered into a computer.

"What is this number for?" he asked. The middle man just stood up, and took a microphone.

"This duellist won in a matter of minutes, everybody!" he shouted, before winking at Gary. "What's your name, son?"

"Gary. Gary Hodgkins," Gary replied, as if the man had sudenly forgotten what his name was. Another man now stood up to speak to him.

"Hello, Gary," he said. "My name is Master Hiro. I will possibly be your Duelling Teacher. You see, the numbers are put into our database, and then two numbers are randomly matched up. Depending on who you duel, you could advance to the third round of application."

"I always thought that you were just automatically put through to Duel Academy," Gary replied.

"That's a thing of the past!" the third man replied. "We are Duel Academy 3! We choose the best Duellists in the world to come here!" Gary just gave his appreciation and walked towards the waiting seats, which were made especially for duellists applying for Duel Academy.

Meanwhile, Harry was still duelling the caped figure. He had just 500 Life Points left! He was about to lose - or so he thought. "I end!" he declared. The mysterious duellist just drew a card, and underneath that cape, harry could tell that he was smiling. He got ready to face his defeat - but, suddenly, something happened - Harry's opponent laughed!

[u]Act Two[/u]

The mysterious duellist just continued to laugh evilly as Harry strained. He had a major disadvantage (By 2700 Life Points), but he knew that he had gotten out of bigger pickles. Just when he thought that it couldn't get any more worse, the caped figure started to speak.

"Ah, it's been a while since I managed to speak!" he shouted. His voice was surprisingly deeper than Harry had expected it to be in a previous year. He laughed again, and drew his card. "I activate my [b]Shadow Return[/b]! Now I can Special Summon a monster with Shadow in its' name from my Graveyard at the end of my turn!" He decided to just end his turn, and [b]Shadow Guard[/b] (1500/ 1000) returned in face-up attack. This time; however, it had a black aura around it. Harry was worried that this would be his last turn - so he had to make it count.

"It's my turn, and I activate my face-down [b]Mystical Space Typhoon[/b]! I'm certain you know what it does, so I destroy your [b]Shadow Return[/b]!" At the swipe of harry's hand, [b]Mystical Space Typhoon[/b] engulfed [b]Shadow Return[/b] and smashed it to a pulp. "Now I switch my [b]Light Serpent[/b] (500/ 800) to defence position, and end!" The mysterious duellist just smiled as he drew his next card.

"Time to lose, my friend! I summon my [b]Shadow Delver[/b] (1500/ 500) in attack position, and destroy your pathetic monster! [b]Shadow Delver[/b]! Destroy his [b]Light Serpent[/b] with Dark Strike!" Instantly, the monster did his masters' bidding. "I haven't finished! [b]Shadow Guard[/b]! Finish this pathetic duellist!" [b]Shadow Guard[/b] moved in to attack. Harry knew that he had to use a face-down now. The mysterious duellist smiled, but it was cut short by a face-down Trap Card - [b]Sakuretsu Armour[/b]! "You saved yourself this turn, but next time you won't be so lucky!" the caped figure shouted. "I set a face-down, and end my turn!"

"My move!" Harry shouted. He thought of a card that he needed, and, suddenly, his deck turned blue. The caped figure looked at it with shock, as it went from blue to electric blue, and then from electric blue to a blinding white. Harry looked at the card he drew, and smiled. "I activate [b]Pot of Greed[/b]!" he shouted.

[u]Act Three[/u]

"I activate [b]Pot of Greed[/b]! Now I get to draw 2 cards from my Deck!" As he drew, the blinding white continued to shine, and Harry looked at the cards he drew. "Excellent! I activate my [b]Light Summon[/b]! Now I can Special Summon 1 "Light" monster from my Deck. It cannot attack this turn, though - and I choose my [b]Light Goddess[/b] (2000/ 2100), and play a card face-down! it's your move"

The caped figure just drew his next card. He laughed again. "I have a card which is illegal everywhere! It is the ultimate card - and it stops you from getting your winning strategy!" Harry just grimaced at the thought of the card he was going to play. "I activate my Spell Card - [b]Deck Stop[/b]!" Harry felt his Deck lock down. "You can't draw for the rest of the duel! I still have a [b]Shadow Delver[/b] as well - and there is nothing you can do to stop it!" Harry thought that he was safe, with his [b]Light Goddess[/b] out on the field - but he forgot that [b]Shadow Delver[/b] was a Gemini monster, capable of re summoning itself - and the Gemini effect of [b]Shadow Delver[/b] was that he could attack directly! The caped figure commanded it to, but Harry used his quick thinking to activate his [b]Negate Attack[/b] trap! For now, he was safe. The mysterious duellist; however, set a card, and just finished for the turn. "Your doom is just around the corner, my friend," he said to Harry.

"I attack your [b]Shadow Delver[/b] with my [b]Light Goddess[/b]!" Shadow Delver's dark body was suddenly lit up into a million flames, and the mysterious duellist just sneered at Harry. (Caped Figure: 2700). He decided that now was the time.

"I activate my Trap Card - [b]Shadow Share[/b]! Now I get to..." The mysterious duellist looked at Harry, and suddenly felt something pierce through his brain. He ran away, and everything was back to normal. Harry saw that he had [b]Light Goddess[/b] as the only card in his hand, and the pains he felt had subsided. Everyone in the street was looking at him as if he was crazy.

"I'm sorry. I was in..." Harry looked around and saw that the mysterious duellist had gone. "That was weird," he told himself. "I could've sworn I was somewhere else..."[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Episode 4 - The Arachnids Attack]
[u]Act One[/u]

Harry emerged in Ruin City. It was not like he had remembered it - maybe because he had not been there for a long time, and Deluxe City was his new home. It looked like Ruin City was starting to become wealthier. A shop was established - the shop was run by Harry's uncle, Ian, and was called '[i]Duel Pro Express[/i]'. harry walked into the shop and its' bright colours, and saw that there were a variety of cards on for sale. One was the [b]Blue-Eyes White Dragon[/b] (3000/ 2500), and was rumoured to have hidden powers. Another was called [b]Atem, the Guardian Of The Palace[/b] (2000/ 1000), and Harry saw that another was called [b]Yubel[/b] (0/ 0).

"Hey, Uncle Ian!" Harry shouted to his relative as he crossed the chasm of a shop.

"Harry! Do you want a card?" Ian replied, and walked towards the cards in the shop.

"Can I have [b]Atem, the Guardian Of The Palace[/b]?" Harry asked. Immediately, Ian gave him the card for free, because he was a relative. Harry said his farewells, and continued further into Ruin City, after exiting the shop. He couldn't help but think of the mysterious duellist that had nearly defeated him. What was in his hand? He could only wonder...

Meanwhile, some kids were being pounded by a guy with a Duel Disk. Little children were crying as a guy dressed in complete black was taking their best cards. He had a bug imprint on his shirt, which, strangely enough, was yellow. One child took out his deck and challenged the guy to a duel.

"I summon my [b]Magician's Valkyria[/b] (1600/ 1800) in attack position!" he shouted. The guy (who was called Bugsy) just wiped it out with a blast from his [b]Giant Insect Cannon[/b], and dealt damage equal to the ATK and DEF of thhe kid's monster combined (Child: 600). He then summoned a [b]Warm Worm[/b] (600/ 1400) in attack and wiped out the child (Child: 0) before taking his [b]Exodius the Ultimate Forbidden Lord[/b] (?/ 0).

"This is awesome!" Bugsy shouted, before laughing madly, and waling away from the group of kids.

"Hey, you!" someone suddenly shouted. Bugsy turned around, and saw that Harry was walking this way when he had suddenly heard the shouts of duellists and the grief they had been given when they had lost to Bugsy in just one turn!

"Yeah?" Bugsy asked in reply to Harry's declarative.

"Let's duel!" the boy replied.

[u]Act Two[/u]

"Let's duel!" Harry shouted in his tone-of-voice that showed he was not going to let this go lightly.

"Really?" Bugsy asked while approaching Harry. "What happens if I win?"

"Based on what I saw," Harry answered, "I'll give you my best card - my [b]Light Goddess[/b] (2000/ 2100) - if I lose."

"What if I lose?" Bugsy then asked, after analysing Harry and coming to a final idea that he might win.

"I get all the cards you took off of every single child." Bugsy looked on in interest.

"Very well," he finally said, after a long five minutes of silence. "Let's duel!" (Bugsy: 4000) (Harry: 4000)

Harry just drew his cards, and looked at them. There wasn't anything of use at the current point in time, but he would have to summon a monster. "I summon my [b]Light Warrior[/b] (1500/1000) in attack position, and end!"

Bugsy drew his sixth card now, and smiled. "I summon my [b]Dark Spider[/b] (0/ 0) in attack position!" Harry just laughed, and when he laughed, Bugsy just picked out a card. This laughter from what Bugsy considered the enemy was soon cut short; however, when he activated the Spell Card [b]Pot of Greed[/b]. He drew 2 cards, and then activated a Field Spell - [b]Sogen[/b], before activating [b]Buster Rancher[/b].

"What's that do?" Harry asked, in shock of this advanced move. A street rough was going to make a big attack, and Harry had no idea what!

[u]Act Three[/u]

"My [b]Buster Rancher[/b] Spell increases my equipped [b]Dark Spider[/b]'s attack by nothing, but as my monster has less than 1000 ATK, it can be equipped. Now, whenever it battles a monster of 2500 or more attack points, it increases its' attack by 2500! You may be wondering why I would do this, but I have 3 [b]Legendary Sword[/b] spells in my hand - and I equip them all to your pathetic [b]Light Warrior[/b]!" [b]Light Warrior[/b] grew to nearly double its' first size, as the attack count on it went from 1700 (due to [b]Sogen[/b]) to 2600! [b]Dark Spider[/b] then grew to a bigger size as well!

"Wait! Why did its' attack go up?" Harry asked. He then looked at [b]Dark Spider[/b], and saw the spell [b]Axe of Despair[/b] equipped to it! [b]Light Warrior[/b] was attacked, and instantly wiped out! (Harry: 3200)

"I end!" Bugsy finally declared.

"Since I got to draw from [b]Light Warrior's[/b] special ability, I can draw again!" Harry shouted. He then looked at the card he drew from [b]Light Warrior's[/b] effect - and it was his trusty spell card, [b]Monster Reborn[/b]! "I activate [b]Monster Reborn[/b], to revive my [b]Light Warrior[/b]!" Bugsy just laughed, because it would not do much damage, and he would still continue to win. "I then activate [b]Pot of Greed[/b], therefore drawing 2 cards!" Harry shouted. He suddenly saw [b]Light Goddess[/b] and another [b]Light Warrior[/b]! "Now I activate [b]Double Summon[/b], therefore summoning [b]Light Warrior[/b]! With my first [b]Light Warrior[/b], I attack your [b]Dark Spider[/b]!" A whirlwind of white energy consumed Bugsy's only defence, and destroyed it instantly, before the other one wiped out some more LP off of Bugsy. (Bugsy: 2000). "Then, I tribute both of them to summon my [b]Light Goddess[/b], in attack position, and end my turn!"

"Finally!" Bugsy shouted. He was currently losing - this was the worst he'd ever done! He had nothing to attack with, and nothing to defend with. Everything in his hand was spells and traps. "I... I... I concede!" Bugsy shouted...

It was sunset. Everything was quiet in Harry's old household. The boy was just reminiscing about the joy on everybody's faces when he had won against Bugsy the bully. Bugsy had cried, and it was his fault.

"Maybe I'll just stop duelling..." he said to himself...[/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler]

Sorry for the delay. Been on a YCM holiday. I will begin with ep 5 from 1st March. New date, new cards, new duels! Watch my profile for more info, coming soon.

YUGIOH (C) 1996 onwards KAZUKI TAKAHASHI
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Haberdashery1 Newbie

Haberdashery1

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Thank you all so much for your positive feedback! My first fan fiction was not all that good, and this is a remake of it, with new characters, new places, the lot!

Please keep supporting.

A booster set based on the series will be created pretty soon.

Haberdashery1

The card database is as follows:

[spoiler=Card Database]
[spoiler=A]
[b]Atem, the Guardian Of The Palace[/b] - Monster Card - 2000 ATK/ 1000 DEF - EARTH - Warrior - [i]Unknown Effect[/i]

[b]Axe of Despair[/b] - Equip Spell Card - The equipped monster gains 1000 ATK. When this card is sent from the field to the Graveyard, you can Tribute 1 monster you control to return this card to the top of your Deck[/spoiler]

[spoiler=B]
[b]Blue-Eyes White Dragon[/b] - Normal Monster Card - 3000 ATK/ 2500 DEF - LIGHT - Dragon

[b]Brain Control[/b] - Spell Card - Pay 800 Life Points. Select 1 face-up monster your opponent controls. Take control of it until the End Phase

[b]Buster Rancher[/b] - Equip Spell Card - Only a monster with an ATK equal to 1000 or less can be equipped with this card. During damage calculation, increase the ATK of the monster equipped with this card by 2500 points only when the opponent's monster that battles it is in Attack Position and its ATK is equal to 2500 or more, OR when the opponent's monster that battles it is in Defense Position and its DEF is equal to 2500 or more[/spoiler]

[spoiler=C]
[b]Call of the Haunted[/b] - Continuous Trap Card - Select one monster card in your graveyard. Special summon it to the field. When that monster is destroyed, destroy this card. When this card is removed from the field, destroy that monster

[b]Coach Goblin[/b] - Monster Card - 1200 ATK/ 1500 DEF - EARTH - Fiend - While this card is face-up on your side of the field, you can return 1 Normal Monster Card in your hand to the bottom of your Deck during your End Phase to draw 1 card from your Deck. You can only use this Effect once per turn[/spoiler]

[spoiler=D]
[b]Dark Hole[/b] - Spell Card - Destroy all monsters on the field

[b]Dark Spider[/b] - Monster Card - 0 ATK/ 0 DEF - DARK - Insect - Once per turn, you can increase the Level of 1 face-up Insect-Type monster you control by 2, until the End Phase

[b]Deck Stop[/b] - Spell Card - Your opponent cannot draw for the rest of the Duel

[b]Double Summon[/b] - Spell Card - You can normal summon 2 monsters this turn[/spoiler]

[spoiler=E]
[b]Exodius the Ultimate Forbidden Lord[/b] - Monster Card - ? ATK/ 0 DEF - DARK - Spellcaster - This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card cannot be Special Summoned except by returning all monsters from your Graveyard to your Deck. When this card declares an attack, send 1 monster from your hand or Deck to the Graveyard. This card has 1000 ATK for each Normal Monster in your Graveyard. When this card is removed from the field, remove it from play. If there are 5 different "Forbidden One" cards in your Graveyard that were sent there by this card's effect, you win the Duel.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=F][/spoiler]

[spoiler=G]
[b]Giant Insect Cannon[/b] - Trap Card - Activate only when your opponent Normal Summons a monster. Destroy that monster, and inflict damage equal to the combined ATK and DEF of that monster.

[b]Gyroid[/b] - Monster Card - 1000 ATK/ 1000 DEF - WIND - Machine - Once per turn, if this card would be destroyed by battle, it is not destroyed. (Damage calculation is applied normally)[/spoiler]

[spoiler=H]
[b]Heavy Storm[/b] - Spell Card - Destroy all Spell and Trap Cards on the field[/spoiler]

[spoiler=I][/spoiler]

[spoiler=J][/spoiler]

[spoiler=K][/spoiler]

[spoiler=L]
[b]Legendary Sword[/b] - Equip Spell Card - Increase the ATK and DEF of a Warrior-Type monster equipped with this card by 300 points

[b]Light Child[/b] - Normal Monster Card - 1000 ATK/ 1500 DEF - LIGHT - Warrior

[b]Light Goddess[/b] - Monster Card - 2000 ATK/ 2100 DEF - LIGHT - Spellcaster - When you normal summon this card, if you tributed 2 LIGHT monsters, increase the attack of this card by the combined original ATK of both cards tributed halved

[b]Light Serpent[/b] - Monster Card - 500 ATK/ 800 DEF - LIGHT - Reptile - This card can attack your opponent directly

[b]Light Summon[/b] - Spell Card - Special Summon 1 "Light" monster from your Deck into face-up Attack Position. It cannot attack this turn

[b]Light Warrior[/b] - Monster Card - 1500 ATK/ 1000 DEF - LIGHT - Warrior - When this card is destroyed as a result of battle, you can draw 1 card from your deck[/spoiler]

[spoiler=M]
[b]Magic Cylinder[/b] - Trap Card - Activate only when an opponents' monster attacks. Negate the attack, and inflict Life Points damage equal to the ATK of the attacking monster

[b]Magician's Valkyria[/b] - Monster Card - 1600 ATK/ 1800 DEF - LIGHT - Spellcaster - Your opponent cannot select another Spellcaster-Type monster you control as an attack target.

[b]Mega Truncheon Goblin[/b] - Fusion Monster - 2500 ATK/ 2000 DEF - EARTH - Fiend - When this card is special summoned, if you activated "Truncheon's Retreat", special summon all "Truncheon Goblins" from your deck. This card gains ATK equal to the combined ATK of all "Truncheon Goblins" special summoned. The summon of this card and of all "Truncheon Goblins" through this cards effect cannot be negated

[b]Monster Reborn[/b] - Spell Card - Select one monster in your or your opponents graveyard. Special summon it to your side of the field

[b]Mystical Space Typhoon[/b] - Quick-Play Spell Card - Select 1 Spell or Trap Card on the field. Destroy it[/spoiler]

[spoiler=N]
[b]Negate Attack[/b] - Counter Trap Card - Activate only when an opponent's monster declares an attack. Negate the attack and end the Battle Phase.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=O][/spoiler]

[spoiler=P]
[b]Polymerization[/b] - Spell Card - Send Fusion Material Monsters that are listed on a Fusion Monster Card from your hand or your side of the field to the Graveyard, and Special Summon the Fusion Monster from your Extra Deck.

[b]Pot of Greed[/b] - Spell Card - Draw 2 cards

[b]Power of the Light[/b] - Spell Card - Select one "Light" monster on the field. Halve its ATK, and draw until you draw a Trap Card. You can discard the monster or spell card to attack your opponent directly. If your opponent negates the attack, your turn automaticallly ends

[b]Power of the Goblin[/b] - Spell Card - Target one monster on your side of the field. You gain Life Points equal to its ATK halved[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Q][/spoiler]

[spoiler=R][/spoiler]

[spoiler=S]
[b]Sage of Stilness[/b] - Monster Card - 1400 ATK/ 1000 DEF - LIGHT - Spellcaster - If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, your opponent cannot activate Trap Cards during the next turn

[b]Sakuretsu Armour[/b] - Trap Card - Activate only when an opponent's monster declares an attack. Destroy the attacking monster

[b]Shadow Delver[/b] - Monster Card - 1500 ATK/ 500 DEF - DARK - Fiend - This card is treated as a Normal Monster while face-up on the field or in the Graveyard. While this card is face-up on the field, you can Normal Summon it to have it be treated as an Effect Monster with this effect:
● Once per turn, you can select 1 face-up Level 4 or lower DARK monster you control. It can attack your opponent directly this turn.

[b]Shadow Guard[/b] - Monster Card - 1500 ATK/ 1000 DEF - DARK - Warrior - [i]Unknown Effect[/i]

[b]Shadow Return[/b] - Spell Card - During your End Phase, Special Summon a monster with "Shadow" in its' name from your Graveyard.

[b]Sogen[/b] - Field Spell Card - Increase the ATK and DEF of all Beast-Warrior and Warrior-Type monsters by 200 points.

[b]Shadow Share[/b] - Trap Card - [i]Unknown Effect[/i]

[b]Solar Ray[/b] - Trap Card - Inflict 600 points of damage to your opponent for each LIGHT monster on your side of the field

[b]Steam Gyroid[/b] - Fusion Monster Card - 2200 ATK/ 1600 DEF - EARTH - Machine

[b]Steamroid[/b] - Monster Card - 1800 ATK/ 1800 DEF - EARTH - Machine - If this card attacks an opponent's monster, this card gains 500 ATK during the Damage Step only. If this card is attacked by an opponent's monster, this card loses 500 ATK during the Damage Step only[/spoiler]

[spoiler=T]
[b]Truncheon's Effect[/b] - Spell Card - All "Truncheon Goblins" you control can attack directly for this turn

[b]Truncheon Goblin[/b] - Monster Card - 1100 ATK/ 1800 DEF - EARTH - Fiend - When this card is destroyed as a result of battle, you can add 1 card of your choice to your hand

[b]Truncheon's Retreat[/b] - Trap Card - Return all "Truncheon Goblins" to your Deck, and from your Extra Deck, special summon 1 Fusion Monster whose Fusion-Material Monsters are equal to the number of "Truncheon Goblins" you returned to the Deck[/spoiler]

[spoiler=U][/spoiler]

[spoiler=V]
[b]Valley of the Light[/b] - Field Spell Card - Every "Light" monster on the field gains 200 ATK for every card in your Graveyard[/spoiler]

[spoiler=W]
[b]Warm Worm[/b] - Monster Card - 600 ATK/ 1400 DEF - FIRE - Insect - When this card is destroyed, send the top 3 cards of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=X][/spoiler]

[spoiler=Y]
[b]Yubel[/b] - Monster Card - 0 ATK/ 0 DEF - DARK - Fiend - This card cannot be destroyed by battle. You take no Battle Damage from battles involving this card. When this face-up Attack Position card is attacked by your opponent's monster, before damage calculation inflict damage to your opponent equal to that monster's ATK. During your End Phase, Tribute 1 monster or destroy this card. When this card is destroyed, except by its own effect, you can Special Summon 1 "Yubel - Terror Incarnate" from your hand, Deck or Graveyard.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Z][/spoiler][/spoiler]
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Des ＨＥＲＯ Newbie

Des ＨＥＲＯ

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I agree with most people, it is impressive. You've even encouraged me to search Truncheon in google and now I understand what you meant to weapons and why hes an officer. So then the "bat" he carried was possibly an Truncheon. I found it in [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baton_%28law_enforcement%29"]Wikipedia[/url].

Anyway, good luck with the Christmas Special.
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Haberdashery1 Newbie

Haberdashery1

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[quote name='destruction hero' timestamp='1293117275' post='4876609']
I agree with most people, it is impressive. You've even encouraged me to search Truncheon in google and now I understand what you meant to weapons and why hes an officer. So then the "bat" he carried was possibly an Truncheon. I found it in [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baton_%28law_enforcement%29"]Wikipedia[/url].

Anyway, good luck with the Christmas Special.
[/quote]

Thanks. I'm glad many people like this, like I have stated in a previous message (and I have deleted it now) it is a replacement for another fan fic that was not as good.
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Dr. Cakey Newbie

Dr. Cakey

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[quote name='=Evangelion=' timestamp='1293143543' post='4878071']
This isn't something you can foe fic based on. There are worse things out there. Sonic Paladin, for example.
[/quote]
It's not my purpose - nor the purpose of Foe Fiction - to find the worst possible fanfics and make fun of them. Well, okay, it's kind of the purpose. My goal is at least as much to identify what the problems with a fic are.

Besides, this is most definitely in the "not good" category. I've reviewed fair worse, but the duel was written completely thoughtlessly. When Haberdashery noticed Truncheon was about to win, he didn't restructure the duel, he decided Truncheon wouldn't make his final attack just because.
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Haberdashery1 Newbie

Haberdashery1

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[quote name='Dr. Cakey' timestamp='1293159287' post='4878880']
It's not my purpose - nor the purpose of Foe Fiction - to find the worst possible fanfics and make fun of them. Well, okay, it's kind of the purpose. My goal is at least as much to identify what the problems with a fic are.

Besides, this is most definitely in the "not good" category. I've reviewed fair worse, but the duel was written completely thoughtlessly. When Haberdashery noticed Truncheon was about to win, he didn't restructure the duel, he decided Truncheon wouldn't make his final attack just because.
[/quote]

That, technically, isn't all true. I decided to make the duel on-the-edge-of-your-seat action, but then decided to bring it back down to Earth, mainly because it wouldn't be that good if the action kept on for ages, but also because it was always going to be a part one of one and I needed to get into the actual story arc.
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