The Awesome Girls -PG for fantasy violence-

[♥ღZNETSDCCღ♥]

[spoiler=pictures][URL=http://img178.imageshack.us/i/covertzp.jpg/][IMG]http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/8495/covertzp.jpg[/IMG][/URL]][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Movie One: The Beginning]On a stormy night in the dark part of Legacy City, the worlds most productive city, three super villains planned their attack on their most hated enemies.

One wore a long dark flowing robe that hooded his head and dark red boots and was named "Mathias". Another wore a dark blue cape that also hooded his head and black, metallic boots and was named "Sudoskue". The final wore a dark red robe, hooding his head and dark blue boots and was named "Tiraul".
"If we escape this dimension while they stay in it, he may have our triumph," Sudoskue explained. “But those universal spheres cause problems with our plans," Mathias said. "But if we find their hideout-" Tiraul started.”And steal their spheres-“Sudoskue continued. “We can trap them here,” Mathias continued.”Until here is no more!” They all finished.

But in the near the top of the building, a girl with purple hair and blue eyes wearing a white tee shirt with orange sleeves and an orange “23”, jean shorts, and white tenee shoes with an orange stripe. That girl was named “Neila”.
She hopped down and tried to escape while they were busy laughing about their plot. When she opened the door it made a loud creak, which got the villains attention. “Uh, he he. Hi guys!” Neila said nervously.

The three men grabbed their weapons and tried to shoot Neila with hyperbeams. She dodged all of them with somersaults, front flips, and back flips. She was also a pro at gymnastics. She bolted out of the building and ran into an ally where they couldn’t see her. They ran past her as she said,” Works every time!”

She ran to the edge of the city and saw a specific rock. She put in a key card in a crack and it rose up into an elevator. She stepped into the elevator and it fell down into a high-tech underground cavern where her sister, Star, was typing on here computer and her other sister, Crystal, was kicking and punching a practice dummy.

Star, as usual, wore a pink tee shirt with a hair clip on one of her sleeves. She also wore a Capri and plain white tenee shoes with no shoelaces. Crystal wore a black jacket with a blue undershirt with a pair of jeans and black tenee shoes with white shoelaces.

“Any intell on their latest plan?” Star said as she was still typing on her computer. “So big it’s not funny,” Neila said, grimly. Those words got Star and Crystal’s attention. “What did they say?” Crystal said, strictly. “They’re planning on trapping us here and drive this dimension into non-existence!” Neila yelled.

“What?!” Star shouted in shock. “You heard me,” Neila said. “Now that’s just wrong,” Crystal said “Trapping us in a dimension that’s up for elimination? They should just kill us their selves.””CRYSTAL!” Star and Neila yelled in anger. Crystal shrugged her shoulders. But then Star made a face like she had an idea. She rushed to her computer and started typing again.”Got it!” Star shouted. “There are three people in the multiverse that may save the dimension if we train them right.” Three men appeared on the screen.

One of the keys was an alien with green skin, pink eyes and a pink outfit, black gloves, pants, and boots, and antennae. He was named”Irken Invader ZIM” Another one was a Hispanic teen with brown hair and brown eyes, a black jacket with red stripes running down his sleeves and a red star on the right side of his jacket, jeans with a belt with the letter “T” on the belt buckle, and brown shoes with a light shade of brown for the shoelaces. He was named “Manny Rivera” The last key was a grown man with black hair with grey highlights and black eyes and 5 o’clock shadow. He wore a turquoise short sleeved shirt with two pockets and a white long-sleeved undershirt, a pair of long green pants that covered part of his shoes and also had long lighter-green pockets. He also had teal, turquoise, and white shoes. He was named “Chris McLean”

“There!” Star said with excitement as she put in the coordinates in the universal spheres. “Neila, here’s yours,” she said as she gave Neila her sphere “and Crystal, here’s yours” she said as she gave Crystal her sphere. “Let’s do this!” Neila said as she threw her sphere. Then the portal opened and she ran through. Before Star threw her sphere, Crystal grabbed her shoulder and said,” I think you should bring out Stardust.” Star nodded and opened the clip from her sleeve and put it in her hair. A star-like glow appeared and disappeared as she turned into Stardust.

She now had blonde hair and a black mask above her eyes with eyeholes cut out. She wore a light blue dress with a star emblem at the bottom of the neck hole. She had a glove with a star on the back and a star bracelet. She had a star tattoo on the back of her other hand and a belt with a star buckle and golden boots with black dots that ran down the sides.

Then she threw her sphere and flew through the portal. Crystal looked at her sphere and said,” I have nothing to lose.” Then she threw her sphere and ran through the portal.
[b]PART 1 IS FINISHED[/b] **************************************************************************************[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Copyright]
I DO NOT TAKE OWNERSHIP FOR THE FOLLOWING: INVADER ZIM, MANNY RIVERA, CHRIS MCLEAN.[/spoiler]

[Tee-Jaie]

This could go pretty well.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Its plot itself seems good as far as I can see.
...But.
Apart from my suggestion of putting that kid pix pic in a spoiler, can you stop having the narrator explain the names?
And most fantasy should explain a bit on what the "supervillians" are. Even the short sentence "they were the most famous blah blah blah in the city blah" can make it a bit omre comprehensive.

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well, I like to keep it so if people miss the pic, they can get a pretty good idea of what it looks like. plus the pic doesn't cover the whole body, and their appearence changes alot in the story, sometimes out of my limitations of explaining (alot, but its neccasary in the story), so I'll put some more pictures up so people get a better idea

[♥ღZNETSDCCღ♥]

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Update!