Brinolovania Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 [quote name='Dr. Cakey' timestamp='1296515834' post='4977483'] Accel Synchros represent humanity's limitless potential for evolution. Delta Accel Synchros represent the story team scraping the bottom of the barrel. inb4epsilonaccelsynchro [/quote] And normal Synchros represent Konami's money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted February 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 Bump. Working on chapter 8. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted February 10, 2011 Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 How much longer? Will it be soon? Please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted February 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 I expect it to be soon, depending on how difficult the current section is, and how badly my attention span drifts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted February 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2011 And it's up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted February 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 Hm...the solution to an unpopular, sucky chapter: Hurry up and make the next one! Working on chapter 9. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted February 24, 2011 Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 That is indeed a good solution. Wasn't this basically an info-dump chapter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted February 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 Yes, it was. But it's super uncomfortable to get nothing at all, when all the other chapters at least got a comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted February 24, 2011 Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 I know the feeling. There ya go. Two comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted February 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 Chapter 9's up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted February 24, 2011 Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 Awesome. Fusio is my new favorite character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dementuo Posted February 24, 2011 Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 YES!!! evilfusion, I revere you (slightly). Draco-Equiste, Explode Wing Dragon, BFD, Hyper Librarian... It almost feels like you read my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 [quote name='Dr. Cakey' timestamp='1298566099' post='5031519'] Awesome. Fusio is my new favorite character. [/quote] Kudos if you can guess the inspiration for him. [quote name='Dementuo' timestamp='1298574971' post='5031721'] YES!!! evilfusion, I revere you (slightly). Draco-Equiste, Explode Wing Dragon, BFD, Hyper Librarian... It almost feels like you read my mind. [/quote] Supreme Arcanite Magician feels left out. Why? Were you hoping those cards would be featured or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dementuo Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 No. They just happen to be favorites of mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted March 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 Fair enough. I haven't forgotten the story, and do have some of chapter 10, but progress is slow due to my horrendously fickle attention span. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I've now read the first nine chapters, and so far I like what I see. I remember reading the first chapter back in November and thinking that it wasn't much, perhaps that I compared it to the opening of 5D's Season 3 with Ghost, but now it has definitely developed into something unique. Putting Duel Spirits themselves as antagonists versus humans (without a human to act as an intermediary) hasn't happened much in the original stories, not to this extent, and it's an interesting concept. Sure enough, the mentioned concept happens in the Luke(Ghibli)-Ryan(Daemon)-Malefis duel, but it's still very well explained and works well with how you present the story. I for one wasn't bothered by the info-dump, and would have commented on it had I been following the story by then. There was a lot we didn't know, a lot we assumed, and it was good to have confirmation on some points. Barrow being kidnapped may have been predictable, but it still serves as plot development. The off-screen duel was a bit unsettling, though. Better it either hadn't been mentioned or worked around somehow. A duel that important to Barrow's character should have been shown; I just assumed Francis (if that's him) beat him up and took him back to the Spirit World. So far, however, the story's showing potential to be great. It's good, but it can still see some improvements. The glaring concern I have is the dialog-heaviness. You mentioned earlier that you have problems with writing descriptions, and I can definitely see that. [b]How[/b] you tell an event is almost as important as [b]what[/b] the event is when you're trying to convene it. I can only recommend something that seems to have worked for me. Read Stephen King. Horror authors, whose books are designed to frighten the reader to some extent, work with description as their greatest tool. To sum things up, you're doing a great job so far. Your story has potential to become something truly memorable. Those of you who have been with me for a while know that I don't say that a lot. You have it in you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted March 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 [quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1299348499' post='5052844'] I've now read the first nine chapters, and so far I like what I see. I remember reading the first chapter back in November and thinking that it wasn't much, perhaps that I compared it to the opening of 5D's Season 3 with Ghost, but now it has definitely developed into something unique. Putting Duel Spirits themselves as antagonists versus humans (without a human to act as an intermediary) hasn't happened much in the original stories, not to this extent, and it's an interesting concept. Sure enough, the mentioned concept happens in the Luke(Ghibli)-Ryan(Daemon)-Malefis duel, but it's still very well explained and works well with how you present the story. I for one wasn't bothered by the info-dump, and would have commented on it had I been following the story by then. There was a lot we didn't know, a lot we assumed, and it was good to have confirmation on some points. Barrow being kidnapped may have been predictable, but it still serves as plot development. The off-screen duel was a bit unsettling, though. Better it either hadn't been mentioned or worked around somehow. A duel that important to Barrow's character should have been shown; I just assumed Francis (if that's him) beat him up and took him back to the Spirit World. So far, however, the story's showing potential to be great. It's good, but it can still see some improvements. The glaring concern I have is the dialog-heaviness. You mentioned earlier that you have problems with writing descriptions, and I can definitely see that. [b]How[/b] you tell an event is almost as important as [b]what[/b] the event is when you're trying to convene it. I can only recommend something that seems to have worked for me. Read Stephen King. Horror authors, whose books are designed to frighten the reader to some extent, work with description as their greatest tool. To sum things up, you're doing a great job so far. Your story has potential to become something truly memorable. Those of you who have been with me for a while know that I don't say that a lot. You have it in you. [/quote] Yeah, it occurred to me in the aftermath of the first chapter that it drew too much of a parallel to the Ghost situation. I made an attempt to correct that by putting the focus on the theme of Duel Spirits after that, and I had hoped my pre-story explanation would help with that, too. I drew inspiration for Duel Spirits as antagonists both from an RP and also a statement made in the fanfic planning thread and worked out a few details as to the mechanics behind it. What troubled me briefly was the lack of dueling operations, although Malefis' character was already built with a lack of Duel Disk in mind. The real trick I've found with the theme is how the opponent is aware of an opponent, and how they would orchestrate a Duel with no visible opponent. For this reason, the first chapter specifically involved a Riding Duel, as D-Wheels use computer monitors to keep track of a player's field, and Duel state, even without someone speaking. Granted, I haven't yet had a Duel between a Duel Disk human and a Spirit that did not take place in a Spirit World itself or involving a "spirit-seer". Info-dumps and exposition have to arrive from somewhere, and I did what I could to tie it into the plot. In retrospect, I admit that the implication Barrow lost a significant duel off-screen is a bad idea. I may end up retconning that, if not outright modifying it. Always good to feel I can improve. I've been working on my description issue bit by bit, but it truly is my Achilles Heel. I dislike reading overly descriptive pieces, because I feel it encourages skimming and causes readers, or at least me, to lose focus, in addition to me simply having trouble associating an image with the right wording and flow to portray it. I can say with certainty, though, that my description "skill" is poorer than average for this story. I've never tried a Yu-Gi-Oh fic before this one, and I think it requires a different type or style of description than I'm used to, particularly during Duels. I do tend to compensate for poor description with dialogue, which I'm usually much better at, and am much more comfortable reading. One writer I read normally has the inverse of my style, with lots and lots and LOTS of description (god, I hate him for that). One time, he had a heavily dialogue focused chapter and I had the best attention span I've ever had for his work. That said, I agree that this fic is cutting corners in action-description. Do you have any advice for description improvement beyond reading stories with a much stronger description/everything else ratio? Thanks for the review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted March 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 And chapter 10's out. Celebrate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 Celebrating. Riding Ultimate Axon Kicker to victory! The one time I pulled it out, it got owned pretty fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xaqairy Posted September 27, 2011 Report Share Posted September 27, 2011 I just read up to Chapter 10. I'm loving this Fan Fic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted September 27, 2011 Report Share Posted September 27, 2011 Guess you gotta make the next chapter, dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted September 27, 2011 Report Share Posted September 27, 2011 Yes! Do it! Now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted September 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2011 At best, I'd rewrite the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted September 28, 2011 Report Share Posted September 28, 2011 [quote name='evilfusion' timestamp='1317172552' post='5544793'] At best, I'd rewrite the whole thing. [/quote] y Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted September 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2011 Because one of my greatest writing flaws is not to have enough planned out, or characters aren't developed enough, or I'm just not happy with how things turned out, and the whole story collapses in on itself. Usually at a later date, I want to continue writing the story, but also need to tidy up the flaws created before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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