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Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds: Spiritual Ruin [PG-13]


evilfusion

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[quote name='Dr. Cakey' timestamp='1294422218' post='4917752']
I didn't entirely get the ending - why Malefis would stall, what Ghibli's goal was in attacking Daemon so often. When Malefis' armor died, I assumed Ghibli had been attempting to extend the duel himself, but it seems that is not so...
[/quote]

Malefis was probably going to lose, but as her armor had been low in power (mentioned in both chapter 3 and 4, so it's not a Deus Ex Machina), she waited for it to run out so that she wouldn't have to face an official loss. It's a pride thing. By acting like she was about to win, it makes it ambiguous whether she was seriously about to win or was bluffing.

Ghibli attacked Daemon a lot because while Daemon was mostly focusing on Malefis, the fact was that Ghibli couldn't defend against them both simultaneously with his deck, and Malefis was actively targeting him. Daemon rarely, if ever, attacked him, but if he ever intended to, he'd probably wipe Ghibli out in a single move. Ghibli was counting on Daemon finishing off or sabotaging Malefis, because if Malefis won overall, Daemon had raised the wager, while Ghibli had not. Daemon losing to Malefis was an unacceptable outcome. If Ghibli left Daemon alone and ganged up on Malefis, once she lost, he'd be hard-pressed to defend against Daemon's massive life advantage and field power.

Also, Ghibli knows how Malefis plays, and his deck has a better chance of countering her than the explosive power of an Infernity deck. Even so, it was acknowledged that Ghibli's strategy in the three way duel was odd, in that he didn't focus on anyone in particular to the point of indifference. Ghibli was ultimately overwhelmed by Malefis' aggressive style.
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I haven't written at that pace since mid 2009, and that was back when I wrote chapters of 1500 word averages. Almost every chapter in this has been around 3000 or more. And believe me, experience has shown that writing at that pace needs a solid idea of what I'm doing, or a general lack of direction satiated by a willingness to be random.

Granted, duels make lengths easier, but I have an odd style of writing for duels. Namely, that any character at any given time is not guaranteed to win. Well, except Ian vs Malefis.

I have a more solid grasp of what I intend to do, thanks to chapter 4 finding the writing development.
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This is getting better. I like it a lot, actually - the development of the 3-way free-for-all, and the conclusion. Malefis showed an unexpected side of her, I feel, and the interaction with Raven was nicely done, even if a bit contrived. Well, it can be written off to them being monster spirits. I liked how you portrayed Barrow. Well, I was kind of hoping it wouldn't turn into a duel. But then again, this is Yugioh. Everything turns into a duel.

Well done. I'm looking forward to the continuation.
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The only real reason(s) I turned it into a duel was

1- This is Yugioh. Everything is - owait, you said that.
2- Adam hasn't dueled yet, and he's one of the main human characters, despite being literally background until now.
3- Much easier starting point for the next chapter.

I'm a little unsure. What about the interaction with Raven may have been contrived?
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  • 2 weeks later...
[quote=]
"You could easily make a speech about the symbolism of a Fusion monster, representing the bonds of strong people coming together, and try to sway me to help you with such a metaphor, in that even those who gave up their lives and dreams contribute through Cyberdark Dragon's effect. Or individualism, in that you don't rely on Synchro monsters. But here I have my own metaphor. Colossal Fighter may be beaten infinite times, but it will always return to keep up the fight, until at last it can win."

"Uh...I wasn't going to say anything of the sort," Adam said awkwardly.

"Oh. In that case, never mind," Barrow said.
[/quote]

So. Much. Win.
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[quote name='!' timestamp='1296513546' post='4977386']
No, it's because Synchros support Nexus.
[/quote]
Accel Synchros represent humanity's limitless potential for evolution.
Delta Accel Synchros represent the story team scraping the bottom of the barrel.

inb4epsilonaccelsynchro
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