Galactic Warriors!

[The Greatness]

Well I'm only going to write the intro for now since I'm in the midst of writers block... So I'm going to throw the intro out there and see what you guys think.. and keep in mind the plot needs work and is just a general idea of this original fan fic.

Plot: The story is about Marlon, a 16 year old Senior in high school who is asked to be enlisted in a group that defenders Earth from the wonders of space and its life forms hidden from the public. Each member of the group called the "Galactic Warriors" represent each planet, the Sun, and Earth's moon as it's the most unique moon of all the other planets. As Marlon progresses with his training he comes to fight villains that he would never expect to see in reality.

[Spoiler="Intro Part 1"]

The final seconds of the day seemed to pass so slowly as everyone began to stare at the clock. The clock waited patiently before hitting the 12 to build up the suspense of the new Freshmen, as they were anxious to get the first day of high school over with. Finally the clock released its second hand over the 12 and the bell rang, triggering everyone to spring off their seats. The last to get up was a boy named Marlon Wayne, who carefully got up his seat making his way cautiously to the teacher sitting down in his desk.
"Hey.. um.. Did you happen to get around to that note I gave you?" Marlon asked quietly, being afraid to come off rude.
"Um.. Oh yes! I did. I'll be happy to let you stay in this class for the next few days since you're a good kid.. but please let me know when your schedule is fixed so you won't be a distraction to my Freshmen." The teacher quickly pulled out from his desk and got up from his seat. He took a pile of papers from his desk and waked over to his cabinet which held his coat, keys, and handbag.
"Alright, see ya Mr. Gold" Marlon said walking out the classroom. He opened the door into a hallway filled with noise that seemed to be a nuisance. But still he carelessly walked about the hall trying to ignore the sound of students scurrying through the halls. He at last reached the main entrance, strolling out of the school and into the beautiful environment of "7 Aces High". He slowly patrolled about, heading to the direction of his house. Being bored of his own walking, he decided to see if anyone he knew was around. Instead of finding an old high school friend, he saw a Freshmen running. He looked to the direction of where he was running from and saw 3 Seniors slamming another Freshmen repeatedly on the concrete. He tried not to run but made it to the group of bullies as fast as he could. "Leave him alone." Marlon said, stating the old cliche saying.
The 3 Seniors stopped beating on the poor kid and looked at Marlon. "Oh look here, fellas... we got a new kid to pick on..." one of the boys said, looking over to the other two.
"Look at this Senior standing up for Freshmen. Marlon did that Freshmen class get in your head? Because if it did, I'll beat it out of ya'!" another boy shouted, raising his voice as he gets closer to Marlon.
Marlon looked down at the boy who previously got jumped by these hooligans. "Kid, you should get out of here.. Or you can stay and watch, because this'll be the best fun I've had all day. Just stay back, I got this." Marlon whispered to the boy but gradually raising his voice to let the others hear. He rapidly snatched off his book bag throwing it to the side.
"Marlon, old friend to old friend.. Don't mess with me!" The Senior in the middle quickly launched at Marlon.
Marlon turned his head to look at the poor kid behind him. He whispered to the boy, "Here.." as the Senior got closer. Marlon kept his heading facing the kid as the other two Seniors followed. "..It..." Marlon said clenching his fist, still not turning back to see his competition. "..Goes..." Marlon turned his head to face one of the boys in a flash. All in one motion he turned his body and prepare to launch a punch. The first boy swung a punch that Marlon quickly avoided by hoping back a little bit, releasing the punch at the boy's gut. He rested his fist in the boy's stomach as the other two came at him. Right when the two boys came in range, he pushed the boy kept his grip with his fist, and chugged him at one of the boy's. The boy flew and hit one of the other two in the legs making them both stumble on the floor. As the last one came by striking for his face, Marlon ducked and unleashed round house kick to the boy's cheek. As the boy still stood in pain, Marlon ran and clotheslined him with his fist directly in his Adam's apple. The boy descended to the floor the instant the collision took place. "Aw.. That was no fun." Marlon declared as he watched the first two get up from the concrete. They both ran at him at the same time, both loading a punch with their fist at their side. The two punches seemed to come across at Marlon at the same time from both sides of his face. Marlon crouched down and raised his hand simultaneously, catching the two boy's fist as they collided. He pulled back both their fist and kneed the guy to his left in the stomach. The boy's torso bowed down at the place of impact. Marlon released both their hands and took the bowed boys head and launched it into the other one's head, making a head butt move. The one who took the head butt stepped back a bit as Marlon swiftly raised his knee to the other one's face. He dropped the hold of the boy and let him go to the floor knocked out and turned his attention to the last boy standing. "I'm going to let you run Marco... old friend to old friend." Marlon shouted to Marco as Marco held his head in pain.
"Wow Marlon, you think beating up 2 of us means you can beat the third? How about a twist!" Marco yelled, pulling out a switchblade in the process. "I know you Marlon... You favor melee... I can let you go, just leave."
"You forgot me so much..." Marlon stated quietly, shifting into a fighting stance. "Last chance to leave Marco... I'm warning you..."
"HAHAHA! The odds have turned and you still think you can win?" Marco said, hardly keeping a straight face. "Time for you to go!" Marco charged at Marlon slowly getting within 5 feet of range while preparing to throw his knife from little distance for the best success in hitting Marlon. He carried his arm forward releasing the knife toward Marlon's chest. To the amazement of the little Freshman boy watching, Marlon hastily moved out the way, barely missing the blade as he caught the handle with his right arm just as the blade reached about 2 feet behind Marlon. Simultaneously, Marlon used his other hand to grab Marco's throwing arm that was following through with the throw, all in one fast motion that took less than 2 seconds. Quickly after his amazing move, Marlon pulled Marco in closer and brought the knife to his neck.
"You lose." Marlon declare with the most serious face he ever had all day, even after the countless hours of boring classes.
"..Pah.. Please...Pah, pah... Pah.. please... Marlon, I'm sorry." Marco murmured, slurring his words in the eyes of terror.
"I'm not going to hurt you over a fight that never should have been.. And take this back." Marlon said placing the blade in the hands of Marco. "Now leave." affirmed Marlon, walking away to get his book bag and to meet the kid. Once Marlon bent down to get his book bag, Marco threw the blade to betray his accepted defeat, just to prove his strength. "Typical Marco." Marlon whispered to himself as he promptly got picked up his book bag and jumped in the air just in time to perform a turn around kick directly at the blade. At the moment of contact, the blade immediately switched directions, hitting Marco in his foot. Marlon turned to the boy and asked if he was alright, then proeeded to walk him safely home. [/spoiler]

[---------------]

>coughcoughcoughcoughsailormooncoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcough<

Problems:

[list=I][*]As if high school teachers are gunna give a sh*t about if your in their class or not.
[*]If Marlon is a senior, don't you think the school would notice that he's been with them for three years, maybe more. They wouldnt be as stupid as to f*ck up his schedule.
[*]Marlon hasnt been asked to join the Solar Sailors yet, so where did he get the epic skillz?
[*]That freshman would've ran the f*ck home by the time the bullies noticed Marlon.
[*]I virtually slap you for using such a terrible cliche.
[*]Marco is a bully. Why would a brute like him use phrases such as 'you favor melee' and 'the odds are against you'. Dude, this isn't f*cking Dungeons and Dragons, this is an supposedly IRL high school.
[*]Speaking of which:[list=A][*]Where does a senior get a switchblade?
[*]Where did they get the name '7 Aces High'? That's a worse name that 'Sky High'.[/list]
[*]Turn kick + blade =/= Opponent's bloody foot. Turn kick + blade = YOUR bloody foot.
[*]Marlon and 'rival' have terrible banter
[*]That freshman doesnt really give a sh*t. If he IS still there, he's got his videophone out, uploading the fight to YouTube.[/list]

kbye

[The Greatness]

This is a true story but exaggerated. There's a kid named Mike in my school who was switched in to a Freshman class for Geometry for 3 days.When he got out they gave him study hall. And next thing is that my high school teachers give a sh"t about you if you're a good student... Last thing is that Seniors carry knifes around.. not even Seniors, Freshmen too. I see what your saying and that probably was your poll answer, so I figure about doing something else.. instead of doing an extreme makeover because writers block is killing me with the idea I had for this. You'll probably see this in a year or so actually made good lol, but for now time to work out DBZ and Avatar "Sample" Intro's to see the fan fic I'm going to get serious about. Thanks for the pointers on reality by the way because I have an explanation for about each one, it's probably minor and hardly would defend it, so check out my future fics even though you get this as a bad impression of me.. need the criticism.