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Yu-gi-oh! Grand Academia


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Here is my first fan fic.

Characters:
[img]http://www.animemetro.com/forum/mainuploadsfolder/Archangel_07/2010346213_Anime_boy-Ben.jpg[/img]
Hiro Fatsuma
Hiro is a young duelist who knows dueling isn't always about high ATK monsters. He is usually calm, kind, and cheerful. He is usually alone and by himself. He uses an archetype of Dragon-type monsters called "Dragonox". Here is his key card.
[img]http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/710/267700.jpg[/img]
1 tuner + 1 or more non-tuner monsters
This card gains half the attack of a monster it destroys by battle. When this card is returned to your extra deck, the turn ends. If this card is destroyed by battle, you can return this card to your extra deck instead.

[img]http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/4200000/Anime-Boy-anime-guys-4218156-200-309.gif[/img]
Sam Knikira
Sam is Hiro's best friend. Sam is excited and overactive. He uses a group of Machine-Type monsters called "Time Machine". Here is his key card.
[img]http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/710/267700.jpg[/img]
2 tuners + "Time Machine- Ultimate Future Sword"
This card can only be synchro summoned. This card gains ATK equal to the turn count x 500. This card can attack twice times per battle phase. This card is destroyed 4 turns after it is summoned. You can then summon one "Time Machine- Ultimate Future Sword" from your graveyard. The turn count is then moved forward by 3.
[img]http://simplicityanime.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/nagisa.png[/img]
Clair Kenako
Clair is usually where the party is. She uses a blue eyes white dragon Deck. Here is three of her key cards.
[img]http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/9180/267700i.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/2281/267700m.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/2760/267700p.jpg[/img]

[center] Chapter 1[/center]
[center] Hiro's Entry Exam [/center]
[size="4"]Today[/size] Hiro is trying to enter duel academia. Let this cahpter Begin.

March 17, 2060 9:30 A.M. Duel Academia Entrance Lobby
Oh, I feel seasick after getting n that boat. I walked all the way to the Entry Area seasick. I hope there is a place to sit inside. I open the doors. The lady at the front desk asks me for my name and duel I.D. Card. I tell her I am Hiro Fatsuma and hand her my card. She says "Your opponent will be ready soon." I take a seat. Right then, the headmaster comes in and notices I'm the only one their and says "Since we have so many new duelists today, why don't you duel me?" I say "Okay. He says "Great! Bring it!"

Hiro Life Points: 4000 Headmaster Life Points:4000

I go first and I summon "Dragon Egg"[img]http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/9278/267700l.jpg[/img][ in defense mode. I set two cards face-down and end my turn.

His turn. He activates two cost downs[img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100629150139/yugioh/images/c/cc/CostDownDPKB-EN-R-1E.png[/img] He says "Since I discarded two 'Fabled Catsiths' I can destroy two cards you control. I chose Dragon Egg and one of your face-downs. Now I summon an Ancient Gear Golem.
[img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090202022538/yugioh/images/0/0f/AncientGearGolemSD10-EN-C-1E.jpg[/img]
I attack directly. "
"Before Damage Calculation, I activate Defense Draw[img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080815002310/yugioh/images/thumb/b/b3/DefenseDrawTDGS-EN-R-1E.jpg/418px-DefenseDrawTDGS-EN-R-1E.jpg[/img].
My turn. I activate Lightning Vortex. "I activate 1 cost down and summon my 'Emperor Dragonox' in attack mode.[img]http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/5620/267700v.jpg[/img] and attack you directly. I set three cards face-down and end my turn."
Hiro:4000 Headmaster:1900
His turn. He summons green gadget and ends his turn.[img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090709230125/yugioh/images/thumb/2/28/GreenGadgetDPYG-EN-C-1E.jpg/400px-GreenGadgetDPYG-EN-C-1E.jpg[/img]
My turn. "I activate my face-down, DNA Transplant.[img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090128174107/yugioh/images/a/a0/DNATransplantDR2-EN-C-UE.jpg[/img] I say Fire. I activate Spiritual Fire Art Kurenai [img]http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080526040912/yugioh/images/6/69/SpiritualFireArt-KurenaiDR04-EN-C-UE.png[/img] I tribute 'Emporer Dragonox'. GAME!


"Your in the "headmaster says.
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Don't put the card images in the middle of the text, it makes it very difficult to read. You could make the card name links if you really wanted, or just put them in a spoiler at the bottom.

It was really too short, and lacked any detail. What do these people look like? What do they think and/or feel? What are their surroundings like? What else do they say to each other? I can't imagine that neither of them said anything besides describing their moves.

Third Person and Past Tense usually works better than First Person and Present Tense.

The duel seemed to be full of rather strange combos, although I guess you could have them if you really wanted. However, Hiro couldn't set any face-down cards at the end of turn 2 because he emptied his hand with the other cards he played that turn, meaning he couldn't on the next turn because he didn't have the two traps he used.
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