Falling Pizza's Fan Fic

[Falling Pizza]

Here's a fan-fic I wrote...it doesn't have much to do with dueling, but it has more to do with dueling characters.

 

It all started when our predictably heroic hero, Duelist Toyoshi, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling ridiculously exasperated, Duelist Toyoshi poked a banana, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few unfulfilled decades later, he realized that his beloved Millenium Puzzle was missing! Immediately he called his redheaded stepchild of a 'friend', Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend. Duelist Toyoshi had known Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend for (plus or minus) 550,000 years, the majority of which were flamboyant ones. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend was unique. She was congenial though sometimes a little... oafish. Duelist Toyoshi called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

 

Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend picked up to a very mad Duelist Toyoshi. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend calmly assured him that most man-eating capybaras panic before mating, yet disease-carrying chipmunks usually exotically sneeze *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Duelist Toyoshi. Why was Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend trying to distract Duelist Toyoshi? Because she had snuck out from Duelist Toyoshi's with the Millenium Puzzle only eleven days prior. It was a sassy little Millenium Puzzle... how could she resist?

 

It didn't take long before Duelist Toyoshi got back to the subject at hand: his Millenium Puzzle. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend yawned. Relunctantly, Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Millenium Puzzle. Duelist Toyoshi grabbed his elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the Millenium Puzzle and she had to do it aggressively. She figured that if Duelist Toyoshi took the nappy, busted-out hatchback, she had take at least seven minutes before Duelist Toyoshi would get there. But if he took the Millenium Helicopter? Then Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend would be exceedingly screwed.

 

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend was interrupted by eleven clueless Dark Magicians that were lured by her Millenium Puzzle. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend sighed; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling frustrated, she deftly reached for her dull pencil and aggressively hit every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Millenium Helicopter rolling up. It was Duelist Toyoshi.

 

----o0o----

 

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Egg Roll King to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, Duelist Toyoshi was out of the Millenium Helicopter and went explosively jaunting toward Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend's front door. Meanwhile inside, Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the Millenium Puzzle into a box of wolverines and then slid the box behind her time machine. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend was concerned but at least the Millenium Puzzle was concealed. The doorbell rang.

 

'Come in,' Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend sassily purred. With a careful push, Duelist Toyoshi opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive spite-toting jerk in a nappy, busted-out hatchback,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend assured him. Duelist Toyoshi took a seat vaguely close to where Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend had hidden the Millenium Puzzle. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Duelist Toyoshi was distracted. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend noticed a clueless look on Duelist Toyoshi's face. Duelist Toyoshi slowly opened his mouth to speak.

 

'...What's that smell?'

 

Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend felt a stabbing pain in her double chin when Duelist Toyoshi asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the Millenium Puzzle right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A pestering look started to form on Duelist Toyoshi's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's potatos from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Duelist Toyoshi nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend could react, Duelist Toyoshi thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The Millenium Puzzle was plainly in view.

 

Duelist Toyoshi stared at Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend for what what must've been eleven nanoseconds. Just as zero people expected Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend groped sassily in Duelist Toyoshi's direction, clearly desperate. Duelist Toyoshi grabbed the Millenium Puzzle and bolted for the door. It was locked. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend let out a curious chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Duelist Toyoshi,' she rebuked. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend always had been a little pestering, so Duelist Toyoshi knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at her or something. A few unsatisfying minutes later, he gripped his Millenium Puzzle tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

 

Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Duelist Toyoshi. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eight days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Duelist Toyoshi. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend walked over to the window and looked down. Duelist Toyoshi was gone.

 

----o0o----

 

Just yonder, Duelist Toyoshi was struggling to make his way through the swamp behind Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend's place. Duelist Toyoshi had severely hurt his shin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Dark Magicians suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Millenium Puzzle. One by one they latched on to Duelist Toyoshi. Already weakened from his injury, Duelist Toyoshi yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Dark Magicians running off with his Millenium Puzzle.

 

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Duelist Toyoshi's Millenium Puzzle. Feeling frustrated, God smote the Dark Magicians for their injustice. Then He got in His best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan and dashed away with the fortitude of 1.2 billion 3-legged wallabies running from a shrunken pack of albino cats. Duelist Toyoshi stumbled with joy when he saw this. His Millenium Puzzle was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in seven minutes his favorite TV show, Catholic Channel, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When Indonesian devil cats meet pipe bomb'). Duelist Toyoshi was giddy. And so, everyone except Duelist Toyoshi's Girlfriend and a few gun-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

[Professor Cobra]

It's okay, I don't get it though.

[BS]

its awful. Thats about all.

[Falling Pizza]

No, it's awesome. You guys just aren't cool and mature enough to understand it.

[Mr. Best Male 2008]

i like it

[gak47]

I like your fan-fic big bro!