The Schizophrenic's Guide to Multiversing [Started / Not Accepting]

[The Warden]

All the current volunteers were sitting collectively in a small conference room. The door was swiftly opened by Maxie, who gazed upon the volunteers before dimming the lights. Grabbing a small remote from the table they were all seated around, he activated a roof mounted projector, which displayed an image of a stack of crumbled and browned documents. 'This is our mission. These stack of documents are vital to our multiverse; however, they were sucked into a multiverse portal, by an idiot, and were scattered across the multiverse. What is contained on these documents is top-secret, so I won't bother telling you what's on them. Sufficed to say we need them back immediataly' he explained and turned off the projector. The room was lightened again as he faced them all. 'You are all mostly volunteers, save for one or two slight....intrusions' he continued, casting a quick glance at Steve. 'Now, before we leave on this multiverse crossing journey, I would like to know if you have any questions I could care less about answering'.

[Premier Alexander Romanov]

"Yeah." A gruff voice spoke up. "I've got tons. One: What will be encountering on this mission? Two: What's so important about these documents? Three: Don't you bureaucratic dipsh*ts keep backups? Four: Has the f**ker who did this been punished yet?" The owner of the voice stepped forward from the shadows, revealing a military-type with camo-colored fatigues, scars, and a face that looked like a beat-up combination of the Janitor from Scrubs and Col. O'Neill from Stargate.
"And Five: If he hasn't been punished, may I do the honors?"

[Catterjune]

Sitting in her place, she looked left and right, hoping she wasn't about to interrupt someone. Before she knew it however, the girl in the white dress, green hair and green eyes stood up, raising her hand like a kid who had a question to ask her teacher.

The cold, tiled floor sent a shiver down her spine when her bare feet touched it. She shook once quickly, before mustering up the courage to speak.

"If we don't know what the documents look like, how are we supposed to know if we found them or not?"

She thought it a very sensible question. Looking at the image projected on the wall, it looked identical to dozens of papers she saw while helping the library file old records back at her old high school. She smiled, awaiting the man's answer.

[The Warden]

Maxie looked at the military man. [i]'God I alreayd hate this guy'[/i] he thought. 'In chronological order, I'll answer your first questio and that's it. On this mission we will be encountering worldly physics unlike we've ever seen. As such, the physics of our existance may change between multiverses in order to fit in. if we go to a world where everyone are humanoid toads, we'll become humanoids toads' he explained, before turning to the next question. 'Those documents are about four thousand years old. Their condition is relatively good for their age. Also, the pages are blank and will remain blank until someone from our multiverse has touched a page. But the contents of these pages ARE NOT to be read under any circumstance'.

[Catterjune]

Blank eyes upon Helena's face as she thought what the man had just said.

"S-so..." she blinked, trying to visualize it. "we're looking for a blank peace of paper, that looks like a blank piece of paper until we touch it, but we can't touch it, and we have multiple universes in which to look for it?"

Her tone of voice got higher in pitch as she spoke, turning from a young lady questioning a teacher to a tiny girl whining and crying to her dad. She thought it'd be a simple mission to pick up papers, not a fantastic adventure spanning multiple universes.

She sat down hard, crossing her arms across her ample chest, sulking and clearly upset, struggling to fight back tears.

[encapturer]

Pearl was disinterested, and it showed. She was leaning back in her chair chewing on the back of a pen. After all, she already knew most of what Maxie was saying. Still, Pearl raised an eyebrow when Maxie mentioned that the documents were blank... until someone from this universe touched them. She thought about prodding further about this new bit of information, but decided against it; such things could get her thrown off the team. Still, she didn't like how Maxie was treating her teammates.

"Don't worry girl, they were able to locate the papers at least," Pearl said to Helena. "So we're not in the dark here." Turning to Maxie, her tone of voice turned from vaguely comforting to condescending. "Though for something so important, you sure are making it hard on us."

[encapturer]

<IGNORE>

[The Warden]

Maxie looked at Pearl, the only real veteran of multiverse travel. 'Whether of not you regard this is difficult is purely your own perspective. Now I would divulge the contents of these documents, however, it would be immaterial as what is on them would only fighten you all. I am denying information to spare the innocent' he said. This wasn't exactly a lie here, but it was still dry on information, that was all they needed to know anyays.

[Premier Alexander Romanov]

Keith lit a cigar and started to smoke it. "You still haven't answered my other two questions. Has the stupid son-of-a-b*tch who got us into this mess been punished yet, and if not, can I do the honors?" He knew he wasn't supposed to smoke in the conference room, but he didn't care. He was the only one with all of the skills they needed who they were willing to hire at the rates he was charging. He was their only option for survival, and both of them knew it. If he quit, the team probably wouldn't make it back alive. Well, some of them would die, but the death rate would be significantly reduced. Hopefully.

[CrystalCyae]

Osanimu listned to this conversation with interest. "[i]So, we're looking for some blank pieces of paper that are apparently confidential and important. What could be on 'em? But, what would happen if someone not from this multiverse touched them, like me. Afterall, I'm not from this multiverse, and apparently these blank pieces of paper remain blank until someone from this multiverse touches them.....[/i]" She thought, brain whirling. She decided her question was appropriate, so she spoke up. "What happens if someone that doesn't come from this multiverse, like me, touches this document? Afterall, you said the document remains blank until someone from this multiverse comes into contact with them." She questioned

[The Warden]

Maxie chose to ignore what keith had to say, he was clearly an idiot. However, his attention was grabbed by what Osanimu had to say. he looked at her with a blank yet suprised look on his face. 'You're.....not from this universe?' he inquired with a confused tone. He scratched his head with some discomfort. 'That is news to me, but, I guess the page won't activate since you are alien to our multiverse' he answered, figuring it was the best approach.

[CrystalCyae]

Osanimu put her hands on her hips. "Thank you for answering my question, but you didn't need to call me an alien in the process." She sat down. "[i]God, I used to think this was a good idea, that it might help me get back to my home universe, but suddenly, I'm not so sure I survive that long.....The mission commander isn't exactly the nicest guy in existence, but he could have tried to be slightly nicer with that. "Aliens" have feelings too, you know.[/i]" She thought grumpily. "[i]Oh well, I better get used to it. That's probably what I'll be called through out this mission until they deem it worthy to know my name...[/i]"

[Time Psyduck]

Ivor stood at the back of the group, paying as much attention to the group that would become his companions for this task. There was at least one military person, and a woman in her mid-twenties who seemed rather relaxed, but the others were barely more than children - in fact, apart from possibly the soldier, Ivor reckoned he was the oldest member of the team. One of the girls already seemed close to tears, and he considered doing something, but decided to keep on watching.

His ears picked up the mention of someone not from the universe they were in. [i]Another one?[/i] he thought, looking up at the speaker. It was one of the teenagers, a girl, with fairly long hair. [i]Well, she can't have been out of her universe too long,[/i] he thought, [i]but she kind of reminds me of - well, me, when I was new to this. Telling people you're not from their universe is a rookie move.[/i] As the girl sat down, complaining about being called an alien, Ivor stepped forwards. "And supposing a local finds one of those papers and uses it to write something down, maybe even something important? I presume you have a plan, so lets here it."

[The Warden]

Maxie sighed, this was something that was unavoidable. 'The enchantments those pages possess stop them from being drawn on, torn, mangled, burned or anything else of the like that would cause damage. Although, considering the purpose of the documents, they would inevitably wind up in the holding of someone who would obviously read it. So, be on the look out for idiots, nosy bastards and obvious bad guys' he answered.

[Time Psyduck]

"I see, so it's magic indestructible blank paper," Ivor replied. Once, such a thing would have been strange to him, but years of moving between worlds with all kinds of magic meant that enchantments on important documents was hardly a surprise, especially since the fact that the contents of the documents weren't visible unless a native of this universe touched the paper tipped him off that there was some sort of magic on them. The only odd thing was that this guy seemed to think that people who would want to see the contents of these documents would somehow end up with them. Ivor suspected that they were likely to end up with the people who would be most likely, in the opinion of whatever world the document was in, to be able to figure out why the blank paper couldn't be damaged. He stepped back towards the edge of the room.

[Premier Alexander Romanov]

Keith started chuckling, then laughing maniacally. "Really? I can't believe I actually heard you say that! Magic?!? We're going after f**king MAGIC papers?!?" He then got very serious and a bit angry. "Then why don't you wave you little wand and bring it back?!? Why do you even need us if you have motherf**king MAGIC?!?!?" Keith took a breath of his cigar, took the cigar out of his mouth, and let the smoke leave his lungs and enter the room. "Come on! You really expect us to believe that you guys used witchcraft and wizardry to not only create the portal that is going to send us into these worlds, and the dimensionally transcendental backpack that you gave me with all of our supplies, but you somehow encrypted these papers with spells and charms and whatnot?"

[encapturer]

Pearl slammed the table as she stood up, unable to stand the obnoxious soldier with them any longer. She walked in front of him and stared him down. Sure, he looked intimidating, but Pearl didn't care. "Look, first off, [i]I[/i] helped make that portal device you have, and I assure you, it [i]will[/i] work. Second, did it run through your mind that magic can't do everything? If these guys could have just [i]magically summoned[/i] the documents, why would they need us? Stop assuming things you don't know the [i]slightest[/i] idea about!"

Her rant over, Pearl sat back down in her seat, before casting another glance at Keith. "And stop smoking! We're in a closed room!"

[Catterjune]

(OOC: Ladies and gentlemen... specifically BrokenHeart15. Can we keep it each post at or above 4 lines? No, I don't think 3 lines and one word in the 4th counts as four lines. Also, FinalFan, stop trying to get around the censors! Censor out the entirety of your words, except for the first letter. Or let the auto-censor deal with it. <_<)

---

Helena listened as to what Pearl said about the papers being located. It made her feel at least a little better that not all hope was lost. Perhaps it'd be a shorter journey then she thought. Maybe she'd be back home by the end of the week... if her parents would accept her.

In all her excitement, she realized she had no where to stay after the expedition ended. Lost in her own quiet contemplation, she caught the scent of tobacco flooding her nose. She tried to ignore it, but at last found it too pungent.

She prepared to speak when all of a sudden the brown haired woman who had cheered her up before had gotten quite confrontational with the man who was smoking. After telling him off, she added that he stop smoking.

"Umm... I agree!" she chimed, before nodding weakly.

[Premier Alexander Romanov]

((Alright. How about we consider this a draw?))

Keith put out his cigar and glared at Pearl. "Look. I've served in both Gulf Wars. While you were watching Sesame Street, I was killing Iraqi soldiers on the Highway of Death. I've killed all of my life and taught hundreds of other soldiers just like me to kill just as effectively. Now, you're saying that magic exists in this world! Magic! Why has this not been used before?!? All of these books say how great magic could be, so why is it so secret, or at least I'm assuming it's secret, because this is the first time magic has been" brought up since I was consulted by this organization a few weeks ago! I thought this portal was like a Stargate or something, but now you're throwing f***ing magic into the picture!

[Catterjune]

The green haired girl awkwardly touched her fingertips together. She awkwardly and lightly raised her hand, the tips of her fingers only slightly higher then the top of her head. Something about what the man had just finished saying had caught her interest.

From her seat, her eyes kind of looking down at the table, she spoke up. "Umm... there were [b]three[/b] Gulf Wars." Her voice wrought with nervousness and quietness.

"The first one in 1980. The second one in 1990. And the third in 2003." She quickly added. And by quickly, I mean she spoke it very fast, all in one breathe. She continued awkwardly touching her fingers together, probably already regretting the fact that she spoke up against a rather large military man.

[Premier Alexander Romanov]

Keith got up menacingly, shoved aside the security that tried to apprehend him, walked over to the green-haired girl, and bent down so they were a few feet apart, and his steely dark-green eyes were staring her youthful bright-green eyes. After a few tense seconds, he grinned, and ruffled her hair. "Kids, you got balls! I think we're gonna get along great! That means that if I do snap, you will most likely either be way at the bottom of things I will kill, or not be killed at all." He extended a calloused hand. "The name's Master Chief Petty Officer Keith Dixon. Thank you for correcting me. I actually did forget about that little scuffle, mainly because it was before I joined up with the SEALs. What's your name?"

[Catterjune]

As she saw the man approach, she hid the lower portion of her face behind a plain manila folder, everything below the top of her nose was hidden. Her green eyes wobbled, as though on the edge of crying. The folder itself was rather filled with many papers and had the girl's name on it, it was a struggle to keep her own papers from spilling out.

"Uhh..." she let out a high pitched nervous noise, before the tension was broken by the man, ruffling her hair and admitting he admired her. "Uhh..." she was about to correct him on her own... lack of balls, but it seemed he had presented a hand.

She flinched backwards, half expecting the giant's hand to continue, striking her in the face but it stopped about halfway, extending itself in a handshake.

"Err..." an uneasy noise, as she struggled to forget her nervous and remember her name. "Helena..." she muttered, putting her folder down upon the table. "Just... Helena." She awkwardly tried to look away as she extended a weak, limp hand with four fingers curved to meet the Master Chief Petty Officer's. Her handshake was much like a dead fish. Not much strength behind it, and probably clammy from nervousness.

[encapturer]

Pearl decided not to raise any more objections; she made her point, he made his, and that was all there was to it. The soldier will get to see her handiwork first-hand, anyway. And truthfully, she was curious about the "magic" used on the documents as well; she just couldn't believe that they are the same type of magic described in fairy tales. "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic", after all. Surely, after some scientist digs into magic, it'll become a science and be treated as such.

But she would not be that scientist. No, right now, she is studying the multiverse, specifically the 'World Adoption Principle', the idea that living bodies adapt automatically to the universe that they are in, and the 'Equivalent Time Theory', a theory that says that time travels between universes at the same rate. Pearl did had some theories of her own, but she wanted to gather more data first before releasing them; thus the trip through universes.

Looking back at the soldier, Pearl noticed that he was interacting with the young girl from earlier. He seemed to be in a good mood, which put Pearl at ease; she did not want to keep fighting with her teammates since they are supposed to work together. The soldier and the girl then identified themselves as Keith Dixon and Helena.

"Well, might as well get introductions out of the way." Pearl said, now sitting upright. "I'm Pearl Veileron, nice to meet you. I'll do my best to make sure our travels go smoothly."

[Premier Alexander Romanov]

Keith happily shook Helena's hand, grinning like a madman the whole time. "Beautiful name. Greek, I think. Means...'shining light'." Keith grabbed his stuff from the other side of the room and took it to the vacant chair next to Helena, plopping down next to the girl and putting his feet up on the table. "Oh, come on! I may be the only person who's actually trying not to look like he's packing, but I'll let you in on a secret." He leaned in close, and whispered. "I will only be a dick if you do not follow my orders, because I am most likely the only thing standing between you and an incredibly large amount of ways to die. Don't worry, because most of the threats I make are empty. A good portion of the people in this room are worth me wasting ammo on them anyways." He resumed his position from a few seconds ago. "Alright? You got that, Helena? That's our little secret. Understand. kid?"

[The Warden]

Maxie did not know whether to revel in the chaos that was happening, but he had a better idea. He merely clapped his hands. 'It is indeed nice to see you all getting along, however Master Chief Petty Officer Keith Dixon' he said, putting emphasis on each word. 'I am in charge of this mission, if you are to give orders it will be primarily through me; if you have other ideas on how the leadership role is to be played, I shall remind you right now that all your asses are mine; and I wouldn't think twice about leaving one of you behind should it suit me or the mission's best interests. So I suggest you do as I say and to take my warnings very carefully to allow safe passage and inevitably a happy life after this' he said coolly.