Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Hu . . . I have some tracking of when I learned things, but mainly it is just a big archieve of WHAT I know 8 ' And Fusion that is a little . . . creepy . . . about Chapter 36 and what you'd do. *shrugs* Meh! To each his own ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Huh... Is that a fact, Fusion?I'm just wondering what you plan on having me do in this story before the end of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 If I had it my way, I'd probably just end up leaving on some emergency call because Jess [my IRL friend who I swear is evil] has caused some kind of problem in the multiverse And I'd tag along because ... I mean come on ... dad can't do anything without me Certain things, no TT_TThe can't tie a shoe XD jk jk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 *Reads Chapter 23 while doing spit takes with mountain dew.* That was from two things. 1) The comedy. Very funny. 2) Alot of that Status stuff. Wynn pretty much goes crazy and becomes a Joker copycat? I'll be honest. Now that just seems way to unlike him. And Darkside was pretty much a good guy? I liked that you killed her off and all but really? Sheesh, I feel like having a lecture here into all that crap. Everything else seemed about right though. Yay for the killed off Darkside! I still loved the chapter though and want to see what is coming up next with all that. Now to chapter 24! Yeah, I slowed down again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 NoBeginning, I request that when you get fully caught up here that you click the link in my siggy.It will take you to a magical wonderland filled with snow, rainbows, butterflies, and magical pink unicorns fanfic of mine, based on Bleach and filled with action and suspense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Sorry man. I'm not a huge fan of Bleach. I watch it on Saturday when I remember to. Obviously, I'm not a big fan. But how dare you get my hopes up. I wanted to snowboard in that wonderland while violently killing things. But to get back to seriousness...action you say? Must...resist... And I forgot where I was going with this. Wait. I think that first half summed it up nicely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Wynn is nothing like the Joker, I know. Or maybe I should say, he's not the same old Wynn he used to be.I might flashback to his past later on, because he wasn't always like the Joker. He just went batsh*t insane.So basically, he's not supposed to be like Wynn >.>I killed Cookie because I thought killing a 12 year old would showcase Wynn's insanity well .-. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Yes I understood the why kill. In chapter 24 he seemed a bit more like the FTW I know. Odd isn't it? Anyway, thanks for the explanation. I'll now shut up and finish chapter 27. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Ending should be shocking.Kinda regressed in my writing style though, got carried away. I've been wanting to go back and revise that whole scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 I thought it was fine. I'm not much for sappy love crap in the first place but it was still a good scene. Edit: By the way, now to chapter 29! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 And after that you'll be caught up =DChapter 30 has a 50/50 chance for coming out tomorrow btw.Got saddled with a giant homework assignment due to unfortunate circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Well I'll be waiting either way. I'm just about done with Chapter 29. I'm almost caught up so screw you Jake. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 What about bios? Really Dad you still going on about that? Yes . . . yes I am B \ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Jake, if you mention Bios again, I'll request that Fusion kill off your character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 And Fusion will tell you to shut up =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 You can't kill Jake. He's to lova-AHAHAHA! I couldn't say that with a straight face. And before I forget. *Writes down something on notepad.* Weakness #9765 exploding nanobot vest...and I could have sworn I deleted the name of the guns part when I gave it to Noob. >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Oh come on Donnovyen . . . I only mention it every so often and hardly get a response when I do. Why do you think I keep bringing it back up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Nope, that part stayed.It's not a bad thing though, I didn't think twice on it being weird or whatever.Out of curiosity, since you read the whole thing through in one go, any overall thoughts?Maybe stuff I could improve on or characters that have too much/little development?That goes to anyone who feels compelled to reply by the way.EDIT: When I get a free minute.Maybe after 30, I'll try making some.But seriously, I can't find a good pic of a human boy Pichu :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 At the current moment I honestly feel as if it is doing quite good. I mean the character development is something that can be debated until we're all blue in the face . . . but to me they've developed quite nicely. As for the story everything was good until the giant freaking spaceships . . . but no seriously everything sounds logical so it works for me. As for the biographies . . . I'll try and find a human Pichu to help you out 83 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Thanks, the Pichu pic thing was one of the main reasons I've procrastinated on bios, so I'd appreciate the assist.Actually, I was going to make the spaceship thing even more ridiculous.Instead of Aliusurum being in Aqua's body, I debated that Frunk's team would instead try to track the energy until they found the tiniest, tiniest rip in the space-time continuum, where they would try to make it bigger and establish a connection.THEN they'd try to create another rip into the same place after seeing it was an alternate dimension. Project 37 would then lead to sending the entire planet to an alternate dimension, so they'd either return to their dimension or stay in the other one.But Cortez said it wouldn't work and gave me this long explanation regarding why, I don't remember it now, but he convinced me it was a no-go. So I just went with the space colony idea, which is slightly more realistic.Slightly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Well after 27 chapters or so of being there Ninjew still seems pretty much in the dark. The old leader of the Akatsuki and that other one that were taking by the inactive seemed to never be mentioned again after Life's first appearance. Pikachu was appareantly blackmailed or whatever and now I'm curious as to what happened to them. They don't seem to even be mentioned much after 25 (that was the christmas one, right?). I'd like to see more into Status but that's pretty much because the character based off of me is in it and I'm pretty sure you were going to do that already so typing this part was kind of unnecessary. To be honest since I was put on the spot I'm trying to think of/remember things. :/ I do pretty much agree with Jake here. I don't feel like there are really to many problems with character development. My biggest problem is that everything seems to be explained by simply mentioning that element from another dimension. 37 (almost 38) humongous spaceships and the huge underground laboratories/launch pads they're in made in only a year plus tons of other crap done with it in only a year. It's just a bit out of there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Yeah breaking the dimensional barrier for this story would instantly grant MY character the other powers I actually have, since a rule for me is " restrain yourself to the actual dimension you are in to avoid detection." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 I know Project 37 was a major asspull, won't deny that. I had the idea in my head for awhile, but I was planning on going about it differently. Like with a longer timeskip, but I just went with 1 year to make it easier to work with characters based off of people at their actual age. I don't know if that makes sense, but I felt a shorter timeskip was better than a long one.Originally, Deustodo PMed me one day saying he was interested in doing a crossover with DEF and his fanfic where Ben was the main character. Back then, I was strict on realism and making sure Ben broke no rules of physics or whatnot. So I kept the chapters with him vague about his origins and about how he healed Aqua.But eventually, my story evolved with super advanced technology and I thought I could use Ben's crossover as a plot device to be responsible for the advancements made in technology and to orchestrate the idea of Project 37 which I was stumped about previously.It's definitely out there, but I guess it's expected when you write a story like this chapter by chapter (I've only planned out a few things ahead, sometimes major plot points pop into my head as I'm writing the chapter or making edits; Umbra being Mr. Seijo and D.L vanquishing his alternate personalities are prime examples of this). Lastly, Pikachu and Ninjew will be getting more screentime. Lot of the people in Yugo ended up being absent for the 3rd arc, but I'm trying to give every character their due in the final arc. You'll see what I mean after Chapter 31 unless I change my mind on how to go about it.Aa'une has not been seen much because he is inactive :3Lol, get i-*shot* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headmaster Monokuma Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Aa'une has not been seen much because he is inactive :3Lol, get i-*shot* I totally see what you did there. Despite my own, inactivity, I've kept up with DEF. I'm glad to see it has been staying alive, actually, more then that. It's been thriving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 yeah see I would rather go with real strick realism, because even a little give allows for others to say "hey wait I can heal people too!" and what not . . . Personally even though it is out there, Project 37 still sounds plausable along with the unknown element in Aqua's body; I hadn't even remembered that Duestodo instantly healed Aqua until you mentioned it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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