Trio of DEF

[Big Bad Pennar]

Black - Lanza

Andx - Repede

DMG - That Bleach thing

You - Luigi's Hammer (Don't deny it)

Cortez - Spider man shiz

Cherry, Clair, Dane - Yugioh Duel Disks

Pikachu, Pichu, Majora Raichu - If I have to tell you then...

Flandre - I can see that he's having a good time with Lasers

 

You just had to forget me eh Creator? XD

[BlackSkullCortez]

Yes, DMG, because Spider-Man definitely wears boots and gloves with a helmet. >.>

Also, I can list so much more stuff he has.

[spoiler=Not the whole thing, but I don't want to waste too much space]

- Stingers

- Stealth Suit

- Anti-Magnetic Inverter

- Acid Webbing

- Black Suit

- Uni-Force

- Anti-Metal

- Spider Tracers

- Camera

- Spider Armor

And much more

Spider Man shiz is either Web Shooters, Spider Tracers, or one of those suits.

 

[Fusion X. Denver]

Wow...

DEF is 452.5 pages long...

Maybe I should work on this and make it a novel 0__o

[BlackSkullCortez]

Either make it shorter to become a novel or keep it normal to make it a series.

[Fusion X. Denver]

I think I'll make it a trilogy.

Entire Part 1 in the 1st book, our escapades 1 year later and Japan in Part 2, then the 3rd book with the finale.

The reason I don't want to do 1 book per arc is because the 1st book would be completely different from the other 3, and suddenly switching like that might be bad..

[BlackSkullCortez]

Just as long as the writing quality stays consistent, then it'll be fine.

But yeah, making the first different from the rest is not a good idea.

[Fusion X. Denver]

And with that, we're on the 100th page.

Yeesh.

Hey...just came up with an idea.

My fellow readers, I'm 27 chapters in and have included over 120 or so characters into DEF. Most of these are YCM members.

Of course, I haven't nearly come close to giving cameos to people and such, and I have many planned for the upcoming arc.

So tell me, who do YOU want to see make some sort of appearance in DEF? Or who do you want to see more of? Just keep in mind, your suggestions may or may not make it, it depends.

And there's always 1-shots if not the main story.

[Kazooie]

And with that, we're on the 100th page.

Yeesh.

Hey...just came up with an idea.

My fellow readers, I'm 27 chapters in and have included over 120 or so characters into DEF. Most of these are YCM members.

Of course, I haven't nearly come close to giving cameos to people and such, and I have many planned for the upcoming arc.

So tell me, who do YOU want to see make some sort of appearance in DEF? Or who do you want to see more of? Just keep in mind, your suggestions may or may not make it, it depends.

And there's always 1-shots if not the main story.

 

I would like to see more Black and Clair, Cherry if possible. All of them deserve some more characterization then what they've gotten.

 

Also, Shooting Star Dragon should be added in then killed off for a quick cameo. <3

[Blake]

I've already had a few talks with Fuse on the subject. Heck, the Duel Disks and machiens were my idea xD

[Fusion X. Denver]

Black: For sure.

Clair: I'd like to, just need to figure something out for her besides the Duel Disk.

Cherry: See Clair.

I'll try giving Powerforce overall some more screentime.

[Kazooie]

I've already had a few talks with Fuse on the subject. Heck, the Duel Disks and machiens were my idea xD

 

Awesome idea Black. <3

 

Black: For sure.Clair: I'd like to, just need to figure something out for her besides the Duel Disk.Cherry: See Clair.I'll try giving Powerforce overall some more screentime.

 

Powerforce is awesome, but don't mess up your story trying to fit us in. Make sure your story works. Functional before fancy.

 

Also, I'm interested. During the big fight at the end of the chapter, when Dane appeared, what was he fighting with? I thought Black still had the disk.

 

Clair had hers I'm sure. Curiosity is getting to me. :D

[Fusion X. Denver]

What they were fighting with...is a mystery :lol:

Their fights shall get screentime soon enough ^^

For those interested, these are some of the new members I'm planning to give a cameo/appearance. Don't spoil for anyone else though >.>

[spoiler=Upcoming attractions]

Twig

The members with "Aesir" in their names.

Lance Corporal Atlas.

Hinagiku Katsura.

NoBeginning

ShootingStarDragon

Fenrir

ThatPhantomGuy

Nastasia/Caeda

Overdrive

Nexus Penguin (forget what he changed his name to...)

Kokonoe

Zextra

Bloodstained Kiva

 

 

 

With more to come ^ ^

Can't say for sure that they'll get anything more than a minor character role, though people I know well should be getting decent screentime.

After all, if I try developing too many characters, the story will lose itself.

[Sploda]

I would like to see not more characters but more psychological warfare.

 

You have all this intense action, you seem to have neglected the part where the mind is a greater weapon than the body. Not once has anyone questioned anyones motivations, morals or ethics.

 

I'd like to see some of that, have someone at least question Creator's motives for his fighting. I think it would add some depth to the story.

[Fusion X. Denver]

Tried that with Creator and DMG, but in retrospect that was more DMG pulling the rug out from underneath Creator's feet.

DL told me that once before too, so I think I'll give that a go.

Any other general suggestions? Characters, types of scenes, shout out your ideas, I'm always listening.

[Sploda]

I also noticed that your story is actually quite upbeat for the type of situation. It isn't as dark as i think it should be. Everything needs to become just a little more sinister, especially since this is now an actual war.

 

I can help you with this if you need it.

[Fusion X. Denver]

I already have one idea in mind. You of all people should enjoy it a lot.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind hearing some ideas. Maybe send a PM on ideas to make it darker?

Though it hasn't always been upbeat. Remember when Tim ripped the throats out of all those doctors by eating them?

Or when Chase had his lower back blown off?

When Crab had her eye plucked out?

Chibi Xazeon and Aka hiding in fear from arguing parents?

 

Although, either way, those moments are kinda sparse, so I hear ya.

[Sploda]

I already have one idea in mind. You of all people should enjoy it a lot.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind hearing some ideas. Maybe send a PM on ideas to make it darker?

Though it hasn't always been upbeat. Remember when Tim ripped the throats out of all those doctors by eating them?

Or when Chase had his lower back blown off?

When Crab had her eye plucked out?

Chibi Xazeon and Aka hiding in fear from arguing parents?

 

Although, either way, those moments are kinda sparse, so I hear ya.

 

What I meant by Upbeat I meant that you avoided the shady side of things, the side of things no one wants to be known.

 

Because I'm pretty sure that Someone's Morals and/or ethics were compromised for the Tech Division to be prospering that much.

 

What about Power struggles within the Banned and Inactive?

 

Knowing Chris in your story, the way you portray him makes me believe that he wouldn't like working with Creator. They have polar opposite personalities and goals.

 

And the only way I can help is to look over some of your work (on the spot) and give you tips on how to do it. I do it out of habit, I prefer my stories dark and foreboding.

[Fusion X. Denver]

Ah I see.

Come to think of it, Chris and Creator haven't had much interaction...(no homo)

Maybe I should work on relationships between characters too. Take a look at some that'd be interesting to see. Like how everyone hates Itachi, aside from me, DL and El.

And I need to show more hatred between El and Zero..

I'll think more on it before going further I guess.

[Blake]

Eeeh, I don't hate Itachi =/ He bugs me. A LOT. But he's not hateable.

[Sploda]

Eeeh, I don't hate Itachi =/ He bugs me. A LOT. But he's not hateable.

 

^This

 

I just ignore his posts (by using the ignore list) so I don't have any issues.

 

BUT, Itachi has appeared in the story?

[Fusion X. Denver]

Itachi is Remo (old username was Master Remo).

And okay, that's good to hear!

[Sploda]

Itachi is Remo (old username was Master Remo).

And okay, that's good to hear!

 

*Has totally ignored Itachi's appearances*

 

I hope he wasn't plot important.

[DL]

He has. He's REMO FANDOM z.z

 

 

Also

 

 

To clarify

 

 

No I did not get sad at Rosa's death, overly.

 

Why?

 

Because lyrics were in the middle of everything. If you will turn DEF into a book, take out the lyrics from there, and the FTK ones in the El vs. Chris, which also bogged down the fight. Trust me, you have the skill to tell (yes, I'd rather you tell) that Chris was playing. It doesn't even show him playing that long anyway.

 

 

To be honest, I thought the "sad" part was going to be suddenly Life managing to shoot down (literally) Project 37.

 

I figured because everyone was happy and celebrating.

 

That by the end, Rosa would die, and Life would shoot everything down.

 

 

Then again, I also expected DL (maybe El) to join the Inactive to be with Kari.

 

I know I would (even if just for another of my epic plans to help my original side)

 

 

I must say, however.

 

I played Sadness and Sorrow, as Chris began yelling at Ninjew and the others. Teary eyes automatically as the flute part began.

 

 

And another thing I found.

 

 

WHY

 

Why bog your story down with so many tells? Part 1 was AMAZING with the shows, but the SADDEST moment was not so sad because I'm being told that they're all sad.

 

 

Come ON, Fusion, if you wanted this moment to have as much impact as 18 did (tho in a different way) then you could have done more with SHOWING.

 

 

I didn't need to hear DL was crying because he was sad in the end. I didn't need to hear how they were all sad.

 

You could have done better, I am dead serious, you have shown me you have the skill to show, so why tell NOW?

 

I would have cried, if you didn't tell me people were sad.

 

And if Chris hadn't "whimpered" but instead "muttered" Rosa's name. Picture it.

 

 

 

Aside from that, I want

 

[spoiler=Characters I want to appear more/appear in general]

Kana

Caine

Hollowblade

 

 

[Sploda]

Hellz yes we need Hollowblade.

 

He will be my XO for the Ultima (He is the only one epic enough to command the ship when I'm not there).

 

DO EET!

[DL]

See, Creator agrees.

 

Actually

 

WHY HAVEN'T YOU ADDED HIM YET?

 

 

;__;

 

 

 

Remember, he was epic, and badass, but at the same time able to have fun with the wacky people. SO he was like, able to fit in anywhere, really.