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Trio of DEF


Guest Fusion X. Denver

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Well, while I was away in Macaracas, I read BOTH chapters.

 

...You're still telling too much.

 

Fusion, you have the skill necessary to show emotion instead of telling it. Stop using things like "he said, belated" (example) and move on to SHOWING us what the character does when he/she is belated, even a smile will do.

 

Well, all writing issues aside, there ARE the realism issues.

 

You can't catch a swordfish with a web for the simple fact they only live DEEP in the water >_>

 

 

But I must say, I like the way D.L. still sticks to his old goal of recovering Kari and Kana from the Inactive.

 

And <333 Black Knights

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Do what you will, just know I kinda prioritize the story over the actual writing...

24 is coming out...

Idk.

If I have an ice day tomorrow, I could work on it and get a lot done.

Or I can work sporadically throughout the school day and only get some done :/

And I can't remember what I'm doing Friday night...(probably nothing -_-)

It's all up in the air, but I've been in a groove for writing since that long break after 21, so I doubt any of you will be waiting painfully.

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And...lolinane xDDD

 

I was looking over the first page and saw this.

Believe it or not, when El first applied in Akatsuki (Page 140something) he listed Inane as an option to call him.

If you don't believe me, go check (it was the 1st post on whatever page it was).

 

Oh yeah, I added a shitload of bios you guys.

And I'm gonna keep going.

And I alphabetized them.

Just finished Black's as well as a bunch of others, doing Wham and Nexev next.

 

With what?

If you mean the Inactive, the plot doesn't get too caught up in it >.>

 

Lmao, this xD

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Do what you will, just know I kinda prioritize the story over the actual writing...

24 is coming out...

Idk.

If I have an ice day tomorrow, I could work on it and get a lot done.

Or I can work sporadically throughout the school day and only get some done :/

And I can't remember what I'm doing Friday night...(probably nothing -_-)

It's all up in the air, but I've been in a groove for writing since that long break after 21, so I doubt any of you will be waiting painfully.

YAYZ

 

No pain

 

I leik that ;)

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