Guest Fusion X. Denver Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Okay my friend's gone, I'll review comments I neglected to acknowledge.Ireread it..more thoroughly...pretty funny at some parts. I'm also a pyrotechnics expert? *points to sig*I would also take time to reveal more about relationships between characters that have known each other before the two clubs. (such as why D.L calls Kari, Aqua, and Kana his sprites >>;; ) All in due time DL, all in due time.....Truth.You got guns, Dra-man. Everyone else go ninja knives.Speakin of, FUSIONYou should have made the gangsters say "ninja stars, and little knives." no0t shuriken and kunai knives >>''Also, I hope so. I wanna be a ninja. Good point. And if you mean ninja, I'm going to assume you mean normal ninjas >.>Don't forget, I'm not some idiot with a girl, I'm an honor student... so don't make me look like an idiot. >:T Didn't know you were an honors student, but I wasn't gonna make you stupid either.Dont forget I get pisssed easily You're right...I'll keep that in mind.Don't forget I'm a mad scientist, I mean whiz kid. Think I've established that, haven't I? If not, then Chapter 6 might.Don't forget, I am actually a nice guy but come off as a hard ass. I know exactly what I'm doing with you ;) inb4ElsaysyougayfusionI'll try to write the rest of chapter 6 tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BT Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 lol you quote the pissing. not the smart guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fusion X. Denver Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Well, I made you smart because you're a good cardmaker at age 12 (not saying 12 year olds suck at making cards, but you're the first prodigal one I've seen) and I sorta equated that into high intelligence in the fic.You're basically a normal kid with high intelligence and a short temper. A smart Ben Tennyson xP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BT Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Well, I made you smart because you're a good cardmaker at age 12 (not saying 12 year olds suck at making cards, but you're the first prodigal one I've seen) and I sorta equated that into high intelligence in the fic.You're basically a normal kid with high intelligence and a short temper. A smart Ben Tennyson xP no I mean... well in rl i am smartest in class.... and get really pissed... lol Make sure to add me a good hand drawer.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fusion X. Denver Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Artist?Sure.This is a high school story (lolwut) so that can be fit in easily.I'll get to chapter 6 in a bit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BT Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 yay... BTW I'll pm you a drawing I do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultimate Assassin Ninjew Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Also don't forget that I'm the one who isn't in High School Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BT Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 remember... I NEED MY OMNITRIX!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fusion X. Denver Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 BT, you DO know this is a real world setting, right?Meaning an alien watch that transforms you into aliens does not exist >.>However, I can still make it do cool stuff which will help you in a fight :3Ok, I'll get to writing on chapter 6 now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 ...well then I guess I am a pyro then...does that mean I can simulate an X-burner by hooking up an extremely powerful flamethrower to heat resistant shiny gloves?because that would be frikin awesome for a high school/middle school (8th grade irl) studet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fusion X. Denver Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Chase...we'll see.Chapter 6 is up.It's kinda long sorry ^_^It was originally going to be centered around El, but the 2nd half was forming in my mind while I typed and I figured it'd be better to go with that instead.But I'll develop El more soon, and just a heads up, the action may go down a little (this is a high school story remember >.>) to make way for storylines I want to write and see where they lead. But know nothing is set in stone and the progression will be flexible, depending on the circumstances.Anyway, hope you enjoyed chapter 6! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultimate Assassin Ninjew Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Hmm, interesting chapter. Curious as to what it all is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 *cough cough* built the fire belt *cough* You proved my original statement wrong. If not for the oblong names, this would be near perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord JZ of the Enigma Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Finally took the time to read everything more in depth, gah, had I known you guys sooner I might have even been in this story, but it's good to see Aqua-chan gets a mention, totally makes me day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fusion X. Denver Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 JZ of course you'll be in it >.>I actually have an unexpected role for you.Chase, oblong names stem from the YCM Member's personalities, they're necessary xPChapter 7 will be...I'm still thinking of what it'll be :PBut I'll start typing it in school today.And minor change (very minor)I altered Deus' intro in chapter 1 to be Alan "Deustodo" Deus, just saying that's his nickname and if he's referred to as such in the future, it's not a mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord JZ of the Enigma Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Unexpected eh? sounds sexy~ I'll wait then, I really like the story now that I actually read it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Another awesome chapter Fusion!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 You made me weaker than El.... *shoots Fusion* You had DMG call me Linky.... *bazooka's Fusion* You made be be beaten up for being a naruto fan..... *machine guns Fusion* OUT OF RAGE?! I DIDN'T SAY IT OUT OF RAGE!!! RAAAAEG!! *Shinsengumi-style's secret technique's Fusion* (I am honestly pissed about this) ............It's KARI not KARIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAEG!! *gatling gun's Fusion* Also, I took Karate a bit, but mostly Judo, and Capoeira. So I know how to fight..... But...aside from what REALLY makes me want to DESTROY you....... I laughed at how Life make people Inactive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dranzer Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 El I HAZ shooted with guns when I was 12.And my father owns one. Cool new chapter,but realy too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Make Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 DL, you sound suprised you're weaker then me.... seriously... >___> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 El, shut up. That was the least of it. I'm more annoyed at the fact Fusion made DMG call me LINKY >:T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fusion X. Denver Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 You made me weaker than El.... *shoots Fusion*Did I say physically? El just had good instincts and would be more likely to see the underlying objective than you would :/You had DMG call me Linky.... *bazooka's Fusion*Hasn't he done that before? And he messes with his henchman like that, it's not just you.You made be be beaten up for being a naruto fan..... *machine guns Fusion*You were outnumbered by random douches. Don't take it so hard >.>OUT OF RAGE?! I DIDN'T SAY IT OUT OF RAGE!!! RAAAAEG!! *Shinsengumi-style's secret technique's Fusion* (I am honestly pissed about this)Wait, what now?............It's KARI not KARIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAEG!! *gatling gun's Fusion*I added an "n" to it so a full name would make sense <.<Also, I took Karate a bit, but mostly Judo, and Capoeira. So I know how to fight.....But...aside from what REALLY makes me want to DESTROY you.......Nice, my instincts were spot on, and the fact you know how to fight is the weak point. Fighting with established styles and planned moves is what the PROTO is designed to counter against.I laughed at how Life make people Inactive.Oh goodie, you got the pun! I'm working on chapter 7, don't expect as much action, but some stuff will happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Fusion....remove the N.....or I stop reading, cause this is defiling of character, considering we KNEW a Karin. BTW.... I'm talking about what D.L said to the girls to get them pissed. It was NOT out of rage that I said that. BTW, it's not the beating up....it's the fact I got beat up for liking Naruto. WTF!!?!?!? >:T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Make Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 You know Fusion, unlike what Nin-pimp believes, a good FF has just a tad more non-action than action... :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fusion X. Denver Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 I know El, thanks :PDL, there are some differences from our real selves/events and this universe's versions of us >.>It's like how Ninjew is helping us now when he actually joined way later than you, me or Dranzer.But I'll have people call her Kari as a nickname, that work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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