Jump to content

Trio of DEF


Guest Fusion X. Denver

Recommended Posts

Shadow, big war chapters like that are super long.

17 is shorter though, don't worry.

And yo guys, I added openings and endings for the first 2 arcs on the same post as bios.

After the next chapter is released, we're heading into a new arc.

GET PSYCHED, THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

 

ALRIGHT CHUMS LETS DO THIS!

 

LEEEEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

 

JEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Fusion

You must make my character go nuts at least one point and do the "Leroy Jenkins" Yell.

That means running headfirst into a thing and managing to become smarter afterward because your plan just used up negative braincells.

 

That's out of character.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Creator-there will be a time when that is completely appropriate and in character. I just ask you to have patience for when that day comes.

@DMG-yup, I went on a whim and decided to organize DEF into arcs because I felt like it.

First arc-don't know what to call it, but it's when many changes in the life of Chris and Yugo happen, maybe just call it Changes Arc?

Second arc-something like Yugo Wars Arc, since the thing with Pikachu and CK were the big events and had lasting effects on the characters.

Third arc-I'm writing the wrap-up to the second and I'm really psyched. I'm actually typing in a nice flow, barely hindered on thoughts I should write down or what comes next, I'm really into it. I don't know if all of you are gonna like what'll happen, but I hope it'll lead to an interesting turn of events.

 

If things go well, you'll all be able to read it when you get home from school tomorrow. And I don't have school Wednesday either, so that's good xD

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, chapter 18 is up guys.

Just a heads-up, there's some graphic scenes in it, kind of the first PG-16 material if you think about it >.>

I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you guys liked it.

Next chapter brings the new arc.

Buckle your seatbelts. [/corny]

By the way, I made the smallest tweak to Creator's bio, I'd check that before reading.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You tried to kill of Crab Helmet. Of all people, that was what surprised me. Most people wouldn't do that. I commend you.

 

Glad to see the Powerforcer's being introduced in the chapter as well, although I have to say this chapter was a little 'depressing.'

 

I mean seriously, "Hey, look at what everyone is doi- OH MY LORD, WHAT THE f*** IS HAPPENING HERE?"

 

Even with the nice, surprise, it was a good chapter, and hopefully it'll set more great ones off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Woah woah woah woah WOAH

 

So this went from school life to WORLD DESTRUCTION?

 

Okay, not bad.

 

I must say, my eyes got teary as I tried to imagine how I'd feel if Kari and Kana were really up there on TV as part of the Inactive.

 

Great chapter, bro, I commend you.

 

I DO see some telling where there shouldn't be, like after Crab's eye is gouged out, the thing about scarring the minds and stuff could have been left out, the scream was enough.

 

BTW, love how you made it so much more violent yet it wasn't brusque (well, perhaps a little)

 

 

And lmao, Icy and Broward are bad guys

 

Totally saw it coming.

 

 

OOH, one thing tho

 

 

So there was a GROUP of people

Icy aimed A gun at.

 

....

 

I could understand it if it was a rocket launcher or something, but....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm loving this feedback :D

@Dane-People are afraid of doing that? Huh. And yeah, depressing was what I was working for, so good to hear xP

@King-We'll see buddy. I know, I thought if I had every character react to the news, it'd feel forced, so sorry about that. But keep reading, you'll see good stuff coming.

@Broken-No noobs here man. But pwning is in everyone's near future.

@Sonic-Really glad to hear that, I was working for that.

 

@DL-The only thing I regret is I didn't manage to keep this realistic, but I think pushing the advanced technology angle was a good move since the story's tone has changed as it progressed.

The thing with Crab's eye is good advice, I'll keep that in mind.

About Icy and Brow, I actually didn't think of it until I was in the middle of writing the chapter. I thought, "Who would be the new Orgy leader?" and my first thought was a Mod gone rogue. So I chose Icy and Brow xP

And with the gun thing, well, I suppose that's just my bad writing, but he would still be able to have them all as hostages, like with a bank robber being able to hold a whole bank hostage with 1 gun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Flandre's message to the Inactive, and especially Josh(In the fic that is):

You Gonna get Raped!

 

Flandre Scarlet has a searing hate for the Inactive for what they did to his arms and legs, and since most likely Flandre would have watched the news, and looking at Donovyn in the inactive, he would most likely go into a fit of rage so huge, that even Life wouldn't Contain him with his threat to blow up the world. In addition, if Life does have the "One touch and you're part of the Inactive" power, Flandre is immune to that because Life wasn't the reason i went out of YCM in the first place XD

 

however, being emotionally bound to Creator, I still got to rescue Creator first.

 

EDIT: First, I didn't see myself there, and secondly i must've read that chapter a little wrong at first lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*Smacks with Lanza Skillet* YOU MADE ME OOC! DX

 

I'd never call myself kindest....*Pokes fingers*

 

Also, Xazeon is dead ._. The Powerforce had a whole COURT CASE. And, Creator is in the Powerforce, joining during Xazeon's murder trial.

 

Curious to see what develops from this... Krus Shenanigans? XD

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...