Fusion X. Denver Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Jake.That one-shot was effing AWESOME.No seriously, I don't care if it was long, that was superb.These 3 one-shots were great, DL, Black, Jake. And I'm looking forward to yours too, Creator and Atman.As for the ending, you'll see.It's funny, I was gonna put Newfie in the next chapter, but decided taking him out for someone else, so that worked perfectly =PThe one minor gripe I think would be that the school life wasn't as grim enough, since all the teachers are teaching them bullsh*t and skills in hoping to recruit them, but your unusual focus on Hitler in history and gym classes can cover that, so it's not non-canon.I like Lora a lot more now that I actually know about her and Max kinda grew on me.One question, who the hey is Mickey Draco? OC?Nice reference to LuffyLaxer too, I thought the cyborg with stretching arms (only way I can think of to explain the arms) was gonna rape her for a second v.v Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Jake.That one-shot was effing AWESOME.No seriously, I don't care if it was long, that was superb.Thanks for enjoying it. I hope it made you laugh at certian parts also 83These 3 one-shots were great, DL, Black, Jake. And I'm looking forward to yours too, Creator and Atman.As for the ending, you'll see.It's funny, I was gonna put Newfie in the next chapter, but decided taking him out for someone else, so that worked perfectly =PI just went through my list of friends and picked out those who hadn't been online for a while, he was just one of the people I picked. But good to know I helped 8DThe one minor gripe I think would be that the school life wasn't as grim enough, since all the teachers are teaching them bullsh*t and skills in hoping to recruit them, but your unusual focus on Hitler in history and gym classes can cover that, so it's not non-canon.The Hitler thing was a joke, seeing as a megalomaniac IS ruling the world. And the reason I didn't make the school life grim was because, honestly, most teenagers wouldn't care about the state of the world. High School was hell before Life, so it hasn't changed much X3I like Lora a lot more now that I actually know about her and Max kinda grew on me.See! I told you that people would like me if they just get to know me.Point taken. Also Max is a character I came up with for the story, I blame my job for the free time to think him up CXOne question, who the hey is Mickey Draco? OC?His actual username is Draco lord of midnight. He is a IRL friend, whose name happens to BE Mickey, so I just changed it up to make a realistic sounding name.Nice reference to LuffyLaxer too, I thought the cyborg with stretching arms (only way I can think of to explain the arms) was gonna rape her for a second v.vFigured since he hadn't been shown yet I should give him a spot. I thought genetic work, but that works too.Also I thought about it, but Lora thought all of the other "fan service" was enough already <_<You had me without a top and taking a shower. I'm just thankful you didn't get into detail with THAT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 I read Jake's. Quite frankly it's the only one I read yet. I did enjoy it though. I wa thinking of writing how Status became such a mess and some backstory on Nobuo but I thought that was something you would do. Or I could have done what the group did between escaping the mods and the Black Knights but again wasn't sure if you were going to do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 I'm not gonna have time for that in the story, but that's definitely one-shot material.If you wanted to do those, please feel free, you'd probably characterize everyone better than I could ^^The only one that I think is way out of character is Wynn, but he's basically a Joker clone. If you ever did a flashback, he could be how he is now though.If you get a moment, I'd read DL's and Black's too, they're short (not a shot at Jake) and pretty entertaining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 LOL I know mine is long.I couldn't help it. Having to hit everything in the sub-plot I wanted to have required it to be that long. I'm just glad everyone who read it seems to like itcan you say Struggle of Powers going to be a kick ass novel?So what was everyone's favorite part in my one-shot?Dad you really need to ask that question? I got the feeling the answer is going to make me upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 Obviously the fanservice. But one thing. Lora reminds me of Misaka from To Aru Majutsu No Index. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 The boobiesI guess the moments with Lora and Max.Seriously, I'm torn. In 33, I was ready to set up shipping her with a certain character, but now that Max is in the equation, I'm like...uncertain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 NobuoxLora? For some reason I kept having the idea that Max was really an inactive member. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 The boobiesI guess the moments with Lora and Max.Seriously, I'm torn. In 33, I was ready to set up shipping her with a certain character, but now that Max is in the equation, I'm like...uncertain.Careful Her dad is still here XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 That ran through my mind too, but I was hoping not.Good job, Jake.oyou'llseelol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 RemoXEveryfemalecharacterinthestoryplusnon-canon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 RemoxHorribledemiseAnyway, I should get back to writing. I'll try getting 33 out tonight or tomorrow morning, nothing better to do v.v Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 [hits DF and Fusion upside the head] I KNEW IT WOULD BE THAT!!! Lora calm do-*gets hit* You just HAD to get all detailed didn't you!!? *twitching on the ground* Oh and Fusion I am not "with" Max. He is a friend, not a boyfriend I'm bleeding . . . X~< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 Parent Abuse Just as bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 Your a butler . . . so do something a butler would do like cleaning the mess up [scowls] I'd like some bandaids too if you have any . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 *Rubbing back of head.* I think I am too. I was kidding Lora. I knew it'd be fun to mess with you...it was worth it. My favorite was the "isotope" part where Max is first introduced. And, Huzzah! Chapter 33. I'll be waiting. And then I'll read. And then I'll say I liked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 O_O Wow...Lora just knocked Jake out. Remind me not to upset her...^^; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 [lifts up a smoldering fist] I amn his daughter after all. But DF that is not a joke, that is just trying to piss me off.And it worked. *gets up still bleeding* Well I'm glad for the 33 coming out. Hopefully it'll have some good action.I wonder if Fusion will actually include the rest of my familyor not it doesn't matter ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 Take a load off Jake...the bleeding should stop soon. @Chapter 33: YAY!!! MORE ACTION!!! XD Hoping I'll be able to read it soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 Split personality much? inb4lorarapesthelivinheloutofme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 Or maybe that's just your red hair making you think that way. <-----Implying that red heads are crazy. And no Bradley. It's just characters he's developed. It's more of a joke. *Gets ready to take the punch.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 *stops Lora from hitting Brad and DF* Not so much split personality more as characters that've been given "real life" via imagination And DF I have strawberry blond hair, not red Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 I se-*getsanimepunchedintheface* *loras skirts moves a bit in the upper direction* *massive nosebleed for massive points* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 But Lora...the shy underdog like Max always gets the girl...Yet this guy I'm shipping is more like a...Kiba.Or Naruto.Lora, would you rather marry a Naruto or a "friend" >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 Lora! Go for the evil mofo! Go for Sasuke!! XD -shot- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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