Crystal Remnants Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='=DL=' timestamp='1310876833' post='5362013'] [b]Well obviously the plot will start the same-ish[/b] But I am so amazing I change it just enough And then the deviation will grow larger and larger MUAHAHAHA It'll be so epic And Teh writin style is beastleh >:U /egostroke @Chase - Lololol XD U might not be wrong on that @Desu - Hmm...seems interesting. Actually is But might work better as a manga? [/quote] Well, actually, just because it's KHR doesn't mean it needs to be centered around the Vongola. And the only deviations so far is how the characters were introduced. Plus, if you ask me, it moves to quickly. You could post a lot more chapters if you had more realistic transitions, such as Asari not just agreeing to go on a plane with a baby he just met. There are other things you could do too. But it's pretty good overall. My fic won't involve Vongola at all. Which reminds me. If anyone feels up to it, I'd enjoy having some help. Till then, I'll be working on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='Remnants' timestamp='1310878334' post='5362111'] Well, actually, just because it's KHR doesn't mean it needs to be centered around the Vongola. And the only deviations so far is how the characters were introduced. Plus, if you ask me, it moves to quickly. You could post a lot more chapters if you had more realistic transitions, such as Asari not just agreeing to go on a plane with a baby he just met. There are other things you could do too. But it's pretty good overall. My fic won't involve Vongola at all. Which reminds me. If anyone feels up to it, I'd enjoy having some help. Till then, I'll be working on it. [/quote] Good point But the fact it starts similar and deviates is amazing IMO :3 I mean....Tsuna went RAEG with the dying will Arashi.....went evil :333 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crystal Remnants Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='=DL=' timestamp='1310879764' post='5362194'] Good point But the fact it starts similar and deviates is amazing IMO :3 I mean....Tsuna went RAEG with the dying will Arashi.....went evil :333 [/quote] I don't really think those things are that different. Plus, Arashi's dying will just acts calm, which is exactly how Tsuna's hyper dying will acts. And beating up guys and stepping on one of their hands to stop them from shooting you isn't evil at all... IMO, there's still a lot of work to be done if you really want this to be a great fic. I find that your start was rocky, but hopefully in chapter 6, you guys will start using a higher standard for how believable the story is. Because I just don't believe characters can make decisions like this in an instant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Whoa. We got ourselves a critic here. Need to read that sooner or later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Didn't I complain about thoe things too? But he'll be a good prson to read the story I'm planning on making. I also have Jake the Sage who agreed to read whatever crap I write. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 I could make a comedic loose story one day. Not good at words in large groups though My mind is like a one way plane ticket FWOOM there goes a thought. Never gonna see it again unless it gets caught in customs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Well next time my buddy Noob is on I may ask him if I could remake his short story thread since he's never online anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Mr. Noob of Korea? I'm going to actually TRY to be funny [spoiler=breakup skit] Guy1*talking to his two best friends*Hey Guys, I just broke up with my bitchy girlfriend. Guy2-Really? Bout Damn time. How'd it go? Guy1-Well she tried to stab me and may possibly be trying to kill my family. Guy2-Daaaaaaamn, glad I don't get mixed up in that crap. Guy3-I've been through worse. Guy1-What the he'll could be worse than that Guy3-Well this one girl I was with-she was a real wacko- Was catastrophic. Guy2- Well, What happened Guy3-ummmm...Well let's just say it ended with three people without limbs, a train wreck...aaaand possibly caused 9/11. Guy1-How the he'll...you know what Nevermind[/spoiler] Yeaaah no....... I'm more of an improv kinda guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Yes, that noob. And join the improv club. We have brownies. Warning: Only take one bite and wait about 30 minutes. I got them from Katz so they're probably pretty strong. Meh. It was meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 It wasmeh because I spent like ten minutes not improvising but planning I'll join But only because itll possibly benefit me in the longrun of my life. Link? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Well i'll have to talk to Noob. If he's going to be inactive then I might as well mke one where i have control. And cool Chase. I'm sure Shion would help out too. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 In case you dont notice my edit. I can't find it Link? What will he help out on exactly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 I haven't made the thread but here's his thread. http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/239405-noobkoreans-original-short-stories/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 *confused* you want me to join a club that doesnt exist yet? I'm really (insert verb used above) I felt like not reusing words in this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 It's not a club. It's a thread in the fanfic section where people can post short stories in for others to view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Ooooh Eh, Now I'm sceptical Maybe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='Remnants' timestamp='1310887247' post='5362463'] I don't really think those things are that different. Plus, Arashi's dying will just acts calm, which is exactly how Tsuna's hyper dying will acts. And beating up guys and stepping on one of their hands to stop them from shooting you isn't evil at all... IMO, there's still a lot of work to be done if you really want this to be a great fic. I find that your start was rocky, but hopefully in chapter 6, you guys will start using a higher standard for how believable the story is. Because I just don't believe characters can make decisions like this in an instant. [/quote] Here's the thing; I honestly know it's not believable. Honestly The Vongola fic isn't my greatest work Far from it. And Hyper Dying Will Tsuna is calm. And he controls his actions. Arashi in dying will...is more like ruthless. And he's NOT in control of his actions. (he gets more ruthless as time passes, obv.) Also you dislike things being too different But dislike them being too alike? O_o Good thing my fic goes from somewhat alike to very different (in plot-progressions way) BTW Fun fact: Before I am done with rewriting the chapters (from when Sonic writes the draft) They are usually laughably close in character Arashi is just another Tsuna Final is just another Reborn etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crystal Remnants Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='=DL=' timestamp='1310921227' post='5363114'] Here's the thing; I honestly know it's not believable. Honestly The Vongola fic isn't my greatest work Far from it. And Hyper Dying Will Tsuna is calm. And he controls his actions. Arashi in dying will...is more like ruthless. And he's NOT in control of his actions. (he gets more ruthless as time passes, obv.) Also you dislike things being too different But dislike them being too alike? O_o Good thing my fic goes from somewhat alike to very different (in plot-progressions way) BTW Fun fact: Before I am done with rewriting the chapters (from when Sonic writes the draft) They are usually laughably close in character Arashi is just another Tsuna Final is just another Reborn etc [/quote] Okay. Well, I can understand all of that. However, I never said I don't like them being different. I said I don't like them being similar. I feel that the more different you get, the better it is. Of course, that doesn't make up the entire fic by itself. You need good writing skills too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enma Kozato Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Do you guys really have to quote posts right above your own Kinda takes up space Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='Remnants' timestamp='1310887247' post='5362463'] [b]I don't really think those things are that different.[/b] Plus, Arashi's dying will just acts calm, which is exactly how Tsuna's hyper dying will acts. And beating up guys and stepping on one of their hands to stop them from shooting you isn't evil at all... IMO, there's still a lot of work to be done if you really want this to be a great fic. I find that your start was rocky, but hopefully in chapter 6, you guys will start using a higher standard for how believable the story is. Because I just don't believe characters can make decisions like this in an instant. [/quote] Nvm, I'd read that as "I don't really like things that are that different" XDD And, I have good writing skills As the people who read my fics can attest But I prefer subtely different to TOO different, les I risk alienating some people ;P @Chase - YEAH. WE GOTTA TIS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIFE AND IT QUOTES US ALL Yeah, you're funnier than me at improv >~< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crystal Remnants Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='=DL=' timestamp='1310937393' post='5363852'] Nvm, I'd read that as "I don't really like things that are that different" XDD And, I have good writing skills As the people who read my fics can attest But I prefer subtely different to TOO different, les I risk alienating some people ;P @Chase - YEAH. WE GOTTA TIS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIFE AND IT QUOTES US ALL Yeah, you're funnier than me at improv >~< [/quote] Well my fic is COMPLETELY different. It still involves the 7 flames of the sky, and box weapons, but the characters are completely different, and the protagonist will NOT have the sky flame *GASP* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Yeah, I'll make sure to read it Remnants. Send me a PM or profile comment when it's done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='Remnants' timestamp='1310942308' post='5364091'] Well my fic is COMPLETELY different. It still involves the 7 flames of the sky, and box weapons, but the characters are completely different, and the protagonist will NOT have the sky flame *GASP* [/quote] That's actually a good thing; Breaking cliche is good. Like having the protagonist be an actual villain Etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crystal Remnants Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 [quote name='=DL=' timestamp='1310942601' post='5364118'] That's actually a good thing; Breaking cliche is good. Like having the protagonist be an actual villain Etc [/quote] Duh... Why do you think I keep talking about originality? And I will send it to you when I get the first chapter done Desu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 When you post it I will read it, if I find time~ :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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