Yugioh U.E.(Undying Evolution)

[CNo.101 S.H. Death Knight]

Finally i finished my first episode chapter. xD i was slacking off a while back but somehow it got me compelled to do finished this. so prepare to read it and give me your best criticism because it's long!. lol


[spoiler=Chapter 1: Devastating encounter]

It was a Sunny Afternoon in Neo Domino City, Birds fluttering over the buildings in carefree behaviors; it has been years since the city had peace. The roads were filled with people and Duel Runners, playing, shopping and dueling, alas there’s the peace from the incident that no one even recalled what happened. The history has it that three legendary Duelists had saved the city from total eradication but it was uncertain that the facts were just legend.

The era has become more advanced as the time passed; it was evident that it will never stop to grow. The Satellite was the city destroyed by the destruction of the momentum but thank to the Neo Domino City’s advance technology and environment, the Satellite begun reconstructing slowly. While the renovation progress, the city have a matter of their own; thugs and gangs start razing property in a portion of the city, possibly disagree on rebuilding the Satellite. Perhaps the community lack the peace resolved in people. It was definite that the peace was brought for city but not for the society.

A large school called the Momentum Duel academy is for kids and young people go to take on education of Duel monsters card game. It is also the place for them to practice and train to become the best there is. Behind the name had its reason to be entitled. It was said that the legendary duelists defeat the disaster given to the city, the duelist who has his momentum infinitude by the bonds of his most trusted companions.

“Keno!!!!” A man with a thunderous voice shouted behind me, the boy jumped in surprise and about to fall over the cliff of the unfinished rooftop, he was fast enough to hold onto a steel frame attached to it. “Uh yes… Sir?” the boy asked shakily. “What are you doing, daydreaming? Things don’t get themselves done, do you understand?” the man Scowled. The boy chuckled nervously “Yes sir, I’ll get right on it.” he assured him. “Hmph, just as long you understand.” The man grunted.

The young boy named Kenoshii Aiyouku a.k.a. “Keno” and the man that went beck on supervising is his boss Chief Satsugi Kazewa. Keno is 16 years old and he working in construction. His father died in heart attack and stress, so Keno has to take over his job to survive for himself and his mother. Keno was watching students entering the Duel academy that right across from this street. The students were chatting, laughing, but what’s in Keno’s mind was dueling, he, in fact, loves dueling more than anyone. However survival was his top priorities and he promised his mother that he’d lock away his desire until they have enough wealth to live for decades.

Keno’s shift ended, he packed up his stuffs and walking to the entrance inside of the building. “ Hey Keno, good job today, make sure you get rested tonight, tomorrow I hope you will have enough energy to do serious weight-lifting ha ha ha.” Chief Satsugi laughed, pumping up his arms. “Er… Yeah, I will sir, heh.” Keno chuckled nervously.

He was walking on the street, the sky was blazing orange stimulated by the sunset and yet you can almost see the darkness with stars piercing the atmosphere. Keno sighed, “Ha… Another hard work, well it’s for the best.” He commented himself. Near a market, a Young cute girl sat on a bench, gazing aimlessly. Her hair were bluish silver, She wearing a student uniform from Duel Academy, in some way, Keno suddenly became interested in her. Keno walks closer to the bench she’s sitting. “Hi there, are you from that school across the construction?” Keno asked in a greet. The girl didn’t respond to him at first. “Hello...? Anyone home?” He inquired then he wave a little in front of her. The girl Startled, “Oh…! Sorry… I’m just thinking.” She look a little nervous, nonetheless, Keno sat beside her. “What is it that you asked?” Cute girl asked. “Sorry for bothering you, but are you a student from that School?” He inquired again but he was feeling a little nervous for some reason. “Oh, yes I am…” She paused. “What there something wrong?” Keno asked to ensure anything ok. “Oh, sorry, I don’t mean to be like that.” She apologized. “Okay...? I’m kenoshii by the way, but you can called me Keno if you want.” Keno introduced himself to her, in a hint of feeling that he hoping to get her name. “I’m Yarsuki, but I go by Suki” She Smiled but she was in a shaky tone. “Nice to meet you, so why you out here, shouldn’t you be going home?” he questioned her in the way he never intend to. “Uh…Sorry! I gotta go!” She panicked, she sits up abruptly then leaves without saying good-bye, Keno was puzzled but it seems she in hurry or something. “Okay…? Well something up with her?” He asked though he knows he wills no respond. Keno looked down, there was a card facedown on the ground, he pick up with curious act, he turns it to reveal. “D.M.Angel, Clouding Selena? Must be her card.” He confirmed. “Well I’ll give it her when I’ll see her tomorrow if I can.” Keno hoped.

By the time he arrives at home, it was dark and only streetlights and few candles lighted the houses. The house he lived was well furnished but the expenses were high enough to force keno into working when his father left earth. “Hey mom, I’m home.” He answered as he entered. “Oh Keno, welcome home, the dinner is on the table.” She smiled. “How is your day?” she asked in gentle tone. “My boss sure like to work me hard, but I guess I can lived with that.” Keno chuckled. “Sweetie, that only because he care about you, after all he was your father’s good friend.” She claimed. “You were lucky enough that he let you work there at such young age, you should be grateful.” She clarified. Keno Nodded, “That true, but because of father’s death, I wasn’t able to lived like a normal kind, let alone being a student.” He sighed. “Now Keno, must not you blame your father for that, he doesn’t mean to put you in that situation.” The mother saddens. “Sorry, I don’t mean it like that, I’m okay with it, but it just that, I don’t know what I’m missing out.” Keno said with tone fill of uncertainty.

Keno had eaten his dinner then he went to his room, lying on the bed, thinking the girl whom he didn’t mention to his mother. He holds up the card he assumed that she dropped it. He went by his desk with his computer place on it, he pulled the drawer, a box embedded in the drawer, he took it out, then open the box, it was his cards, been left in here for long time. The cards must be very outdating from the time he has played them. Then he glanced again in the drawer, a note that mention a submission contest that declared a winner that come up with an unique idea for a deck theme. As keno remember that he secretly enter the contest couple months ago and so far there haven’t been a respond or a confirmation who the winner. Keno places his deck back into the drawer and closes it up, then he went to sleep in the time that is before midnight struck.

In the next morning, Keno got up nearly 7, got dressed and about to head down to the kitchen but he turned and looked at his desk. “Oh yeah, I forgot her card.” Keno remembered. He went by his desk, open his drawer and took out the card for Suki. He place it in his pocket, but as soon he look at his deck in the drawer, somehow he have been compelled to take it with him. “Hmm, maybe Suki wouldn’t mind to duel with me, who knows.” He conflicted with the decision, and then he shrugged and grabs his deck. “What do I got to lose?” He questioned rhetorically in fact he know he really don’t have anything to lose for trying. He head down to the kitchen, take his lunchbox and told his mother that he’s leaving. He head for the construction and he worked till lunch.

During lunchtime, he went to his boss and informed him that he leaving for a bit and come back by the end of lunch period. Keno took his lunchbox with him, then walk down on the same street by the market where he met Suki the day before. When he reached the bench where Suki took off yesterday, she sat there once again seemingly gazing into nothingness. “Hey Suki…” Keno greeted with hesitation though he just met her yesterday. Suki response to Keno’s voice and turns to look at him. “Oh, it’s you! Keno is it?” She inquired in refreshment of her memory. “Yeah, I took my lunch break to come out and see you.” Keno chuckled nervously in confirming his intention. Suki blushed, ‘Oh… T-thank you…” Then she smiled at him in feeling of gratitude. “Sorry about yesterday, I’ve run out of you, didn’t I?” She stroked her bluish silver hairs lightly in the sign of embarrassment. Keno sat on the bench beside her with his lunchbox put beside him. “Well it’s not that I mind it but it was a little awkward on the first time meeting.”
Suki lightly laughed at Keno’s words though she agrees with him. “No I suppose you’re right, so are you interested in high school girls?” She winked at him as if she teasing him a little.

Keno laughed soulfully, “maybe, but I’m curious how the school is like for you I mean there duels in the school right?” He questioned Suki in act of curiosity as Keno wishes to learn more. Suki was perplexed by keno’s question. “Why yes, we have duel in our school, it’s a duel academy… why you never been to school?” Suki inquired him as if he never seems to go to school. Keno looks down on the ground, “Uh… I was pulled out of school on my 15th years after my father died…. So I never get to experience the duel academy.” The Keno look up as he continue, “My father died of a heart attack, so I’m working in construction where my dad work, his best friend made the exception for me to work to continue my and my mother’s survival.” Suki Apologized, “I’m sorry… It must be hard for you and your father.” Keno Disagreed, “No, it’s fine, these thing happen for a reason so there no need for to apologize.” Suki slowly touch his legs by the tip of her pinky. Keno remembered, “Oh I forgot.” He opened his lunchbox and took out her assumed card, and then reach out her hand and placed it on her palm. Suki look at Keno then onto her card. “Oh…! Thank you for finding it for me, I was looking for it.” Suki appreciated. Keno shook his head “No it’s fine, I was lucky to take care of it.”

Suddenly a shadow figure approached to Keno and suki, overshadowing them. A guy with a black overcoat and maroon with blue highlight, the guy was standing tall in front of Keno and Suki. Suki look at the guy with disdained expression. The guy scoffed, “Hmmph… Hi Suki, stalking with a weirdo?” Suki responded, “Akogi…. What are you doing here?” “Nothing, just looking for someone to pick on.” He smirked. Keno glanced at him with uncomfortable feeling, then he look at suki. “Suki, do you know this guy?” He asked with nervous tone. “Yes… he’s -” She was interrupted. “The name’s Akogi Mushikoro, the duel academy’s duel bully.’ He chuckled with disdainful tone. Keno repeated, “Duel bully?” Akogi reach to Keno’s shirt and pull him up close. “Well…? You got a problem with that?” He interrogated. Suki stand up and press against akogi’s grip on Keno. “Let go of him, why you want to pick on him?” She inquest and hoped Akogi to let go of Keno. Keno began to feel a little pissed so he grasp Akogi’s hand and pull him away. “Look I don’t what your problem is but I have nothing to do with you.” Keno agitated. Suki grab Keno’s hand and Keno look at her. “Be careful Keno, Akogi suffered an illness that he can’t be satisfied in dueling so he because harsh toward his opponents, trying to fulfilled his craving…” She confirmed Keno in stern tone. “I see….” Keno understood. Akogi Smirked, “Ha, well you can try to leave but maybe I will pick on the “sweet” Suki.” Suki look away from akogi, grasping more of Keno’s arm. Keno realized that the only way to prevent Akogi to bully her is to duel him. Keno shrugged, “Akogi… I will duel you.” Suki look at Keno astonished, realize he wanted to defend her. “No Keno, you don’t have to go that far for me!” She exclaimed. Akogi Baffled, “You? Duel me?? With what, a Hammer? Aren’t you a constructor?” Keno paused in silence, then expose a smirk, and then he reached to his pocket and pull out his deck swiftly. “No but I can duel you with these.” Keno confirmed in amusement, revealing the presence of his deck to Akogi. Akogi snickered, “Well I guess you won’t have a problem using this!” Akogi glared, pulled up a black suitcase and open it, revealing 2 duel disks, Akogi basically carry an extra in case one of them on the fritz. Keno looks at the duel disk in awe though he never use it before but guessing he will try it for the first time.

Keno and Akogi standing part in fair distance, both equipped with the duel disks, silence broke between them and staring at each other. Suki was looking at Keno nervously and tense as if she thinking Keno will die from the duel. Akogi smeared, “Say… have you ever done this before?” “No, this my first time.” Keno shrugged. Akogi look at Keno with a smirked, and then point at him with a gun gesture. “Then it’s your first time to suffer!” Akogi exclaimed. “Duel!” Keno and Akogi chanted. Across from the market was there a card shop, a young pale man with oily black hair with emo-cut style working there a store clerk. The Pale man was watching them from window door, leaning on his back. The pale man murmured, “…. Idiots…”

The duel Start, Keno and Akogi each start of 4000 Life points then both players draw 5 cards from their deck. Keno looks at his hand, and smiled. Keno believed he’s off to a good start but he knows he can’t take Akogi lightly though he’s an amateur himself. Akogi smirked, “I guess you go first since you are new to this, heh.” Keno chucked then drew a card from his deck and peer at the card. “Well you will regret that decision.” Keno smiled in confident. Suki looks astonish that she didn’t notice that Keno is facing Akogi without fear in his eyes then suddenly she felt blushed. Keno exclaimed, “I summon “Fearless Knight” in attack mode!” When Keno place the card on the duel disk, a stream of light burst from the ground then the light from a figure of a knight in lightly equipped with white armors, shield and sword.

Fearless Knight|LIGHT|4|Warrior/Effect|ATK/800|DEF/1200

“I set a card face down and end my turn.” Keno ended. A face down card appear on the field. Akogi amused, “hmmm only 800 ATK? Then this shall be easy.” “Looks can be deceiving.” Keno smiled solemnly. “My turn, Draw.” Akgoi confirmed, “I play a Field card, “Devastated Realm”!” Akogi open the slot on the edge of the duel disk’s blade and input the field Spell. The image of the card began to realize the surrounding of the players into a burning destroyed city with hot spots erupting from the grounds the sky was blazing orange and the temperature was hot like a dessert on a sunny day. Keno was gasping for air from the heat, almost felt unbearable, he begins to sweat. Akogi laughed, “Ha ha, how you like it? The hologram became so real that you can practically feel it!” Suki was sweating as well, but it seem she became more worried of Keno. “Be careful Keno! He defeat players by exhausting them.” She informed Keno. “Well that not it, I summon “Devastated Realm Necron Magus in attack mode!” Akogi exclaimed. A burst of flame from the ground then slowly form into a pyro spell caster with torn mage clothing and cover in flame.

Devastated Realm Necron Magus|FIRE||4|Spellcaster/Effect|ATK/1500|DEF/1000|

“Hmm 1500 ATK power, not bad, Akogi.” Keno complement Akogi. “Well that nothing, next I play a Spell card called “Devastated Realm Burning”, we have to send three cards from the top of our decks to the graveyards.” Akogi stated in smirk. Both Keno and Akogi sent the three cards of their deck to the graveyard. Akogi continued, “Next I activate Necron Magus’s ability, I discard another three cards from the top of my deck to the graveyard to special one “Devastated Realm” monster from the graveyard!” Akogi once again discarded three cards from his deck. “Akogi summoned, “Come on out, “Devastated Realm Magi”!” Another flame burst into a pyro spell caster but it shown in bigger form with a large broken staff.

Devastated Realm Magi|FIRE|4||Spellcaster/Effect|ATK/1800|DEF/1600|

Keno Struggled, “Crap…. Two monsters in the same turn, how can I compare to that?” “That right, keeps cowering before me.” Akogi amused gleefully. “Now Necron Magus, attack his “Fearless Knight”!” the pyro spell caster with torn clothing began charging up a flame in its palm then blast the flame toward the knight. “I don’t think, I activate a Trap, “Soul Link”, I choose my knight and your Magi!” Keno exclaimed. A chain of light realized from the knight’s chest, extending toward the magi. When Necron Magus’s attack connected, the knight burned up in flame then scattered into particle, then the chain self-destruct the magi into particle as well. Akogi disdained,” Damn you, my magi is gone, but at least you lost 700 Life point and your knight.”

LP: 3300/4000

“Now, who said that my knight is gone?” Keno questioned rhetorically. “When my knight is destroyed in battle, it resurrect at the end of turn.” Keno chuckled. “Fine I end my turn.” Akogi growled. The knight remerged to the field at the end of Akogi’s turn in defense mode then Keno draw his card. “My turn I draw!” Keno stated. Akogi halted, “My field card’s effect activated, we must discard a card from out deck again.” Keno and Akogi discard their cards from the top of their deck to the grave. The heat from the field started to drain Keno and the sweat dropping from his forehead. He need to get rid of the field card before he will pass out, but at least he standing firm. Keno summoned, “I summon “Defeated Warrior” in attack mode.”

Defeated Warrior|DARK|4|Zombie/Effect|ATK/2000|DEF/0|

A zombie warrior with a large plague right arm and its chest was pierced a sword emerged onto the field. Akogi grunted, “Crap…” Keno commanded, “Now “Defeated Warrior” attack Necron magus!” Defeated warrior charge toward Necron Magus in slow pace. Keno continued, “During the damage calculation, “Defeated Warrior” gain additional 500 ATK power until the attack ended.” “Defeated Warrior” approach Necron Magus upfront then slash Magus with dark plague claw and scattered into particle. Akkogi growled as his monster been defeated.

LP: 3300/3000

“Akogi, your magus is no more.” Keno confirmed “But after the attack, “Defeated warrior” switch to defense mode.” Akogi start laughing like he found something too funny. Akogi gasped, “Ah, thank to my Magus’s destruction I can summon a monster from my graveyard then I summon “Devastated Realm Recharger!”

Devastated Realm Recharger|FIRE|3|Spellcaster/Effect|ATK/1500|DEF/0|

A small pyro spell caster emerged to the field with a worned out baggage hanging over that monster’s shoulder. “Hmm, I set two card face down then end my turn.” “Now my turn, Draw!” Akogi continued. “Next I discard a card from my deck due to my field card’s effect.” Akogi look at the card before discarding it to the grave. He chuckled, “Heh, look like it’s not going to the graveyard because it’s a monster!” Akogi slap the card onto his duel disk then a flame coated spell caster emerged from a burst of flame onto the field.

Devastated Realm Sorceror|FIRE|6|Spellcaster/Effect|ATK/2300|DEF/1700|

Akogi explained, “”Devastated Realm Sorceror” Thank to my field card “Devastated Realm” it can special summon a “Devastated Realm” monster if it is discarded from the effect then treated as if it was special summoned by the effect of a “Devastated Realm monster.” Keno’s eyes widen in the presence of the Sorceror. Keno murmured, “…. Damn….” Akogi respond, “I activated Sorceror’s ability, since it was summoned by the effect of my field card, it force you to discard three cards from the top of your deck,” Keno pull three cards from his deck then place them in the graveyard. Akogi continued, “I summon “Devastated Realm Destroyer”!”

Devastated Realm|FIRE|4|Spellcaster/Effect|ATK/1900|DEF/1200|

A pyro spell caster in buffed form, and carrying a flame mace in its hand. Keno snapped out and revealed a face down card. Keno Respond, “I activate “Frozen Rest” it force to skip the battle phase on our turns.” The trap card blew hard blizzard on all the monsters on the field and they become frozen solid then the field become a little cool from the card. Akogi shrugged, “Fine, I place two card face down then I end my turn. Keno became relieved and Suki who been watching in silence, finally became calm from the hectic battle but as far she know it not over yet. Keno revealed another face down card. “I activated “Abrupt Tempest” it allow me to destroy 1 spell or trap on the field, so I know just the card.” Keno stated. Keno pointed the ruined city. He chuckled, “ The “Devastated Realm” The trap card release a powerful gust of a tornado sucking up the field then warp back to the street. “Phew! Much better, too much heat is bad for you.” Keno chuckled.
Akogi was growling then his forehead start busting a vein. Akogi cursed, “Damn you! Don’t mock me!” Keno sighed, “Sheesh, what his problem?” Keno draw a card then look at his hand. He confrmed, “ I place a monster face down then I will set two card face down and end my turn.” Akogi halted, “Not so fast, I activate “Refreshing Typhoon” it allow me to destroy one monster on the field and I choose your “Defeated Warrior”!” the trap card revealed and was releasing a glittering whirlwind toward the defeated warrior then its scattered into particle. Akogi chuckled, “well at least you don’t gain any life point, heh.” Keno scorned, “That not a problem for me, just make your move.” Akogi laughed, “Aren’t we in a hurry, then I draw!” he drew a card then smile as he look at it.
Keno gulped, “Uh oh…” as he know something is up, he just hope Akogi will attack so he can trigger his face down cards. “Well I summon another “Devastated Realm Necron Magus”.” A Pyro spell caster in torn clothing emerged to the field along with other 3 monsters on Akogi’s side of the field. Akogi continued, “Next I play Death god’s deal, it allow me to special summon a monster from my grave to the field, so I summon “Devastated Realm Flame”!”

Devastated Realm Flame|FIRE|3|Spellcaster/Turner/Effect|ATK/1000|DEF/1000|

A small spell caster, which the flame embedded on its skins throughout the body. “Huh, a Tuner? Oh no.” Keno realized. Suki turn to Keno and shout, “ Be careful Keno! Akogi’s Ace monster about to appear!!” Akogi laughed, “Well there no stopping it now, I tuned my level three Flame to my level four Necron Magus!” Devastated Realm Flame dispersed then form into three stars then spiral around Necron magus. Akogi chanted, “Falling stars bring the destruction to the land, devastate the realm of under your rule, Rise “Devastated Realm Archruler”!”

Devastated Realm Archruler|FIRE|7|Spellcaster/Synchro/Effect|ATK/2500|DEF/1600

Necron Magus bursts in white light then a large spell caster with engulf its entire body in flame while sitting on a scorched throne. Keno looks at all the monsters in sweat but he didn’t lose his hope yet, not while he still have the face down cards. The pale man that was watching the duel from the window door, he scoffed at the synchro monster then walk away to the counter. Akogi continued, “Archruler’s ability activate, it force you to discard six card from the top of your deck to the grave.” Keno shrugged and the discard six cards afterward. “So are you gonna attack now?” Keno inquired him. He chuckled, “Heh, maybe but first I will play this for cautionary warning.” Akogi reveal his last face down card as Keno saw the card he sweats in fear even more. Akogi continued, “I activate “Giant Squall”.” The spell card glowed and spammed light needles to Keno’s face down cards then pierced them. The face down cards revealed then scattered to particles. Akogi chuckled in amusement, “ Now that take care of it. So now I attack your knight with Destroyer!” Destroyer swung his flame mace at the fearless knight then it scattered in particles. Akogi continued, “Next Sorceror attack your face down monster.” Sorceror chanted a spell and engulf the face down monster in red flame then what’s revealed was a “Forest Scout”.

Forest Scout||EARTH|3|Warrior/Effect|ATK/900|DEF/900|

A Human with red spiky hair and in yellow scout uniform. Forest scout continued to be burned in flame until it scattered. “My scout’s effect activated, it allow me to search a monster from the deck to my hand, so I put my “Cursed Mistress” to my hand.” Keno confirmed as he place the card in his hand. Akogi shook, “It no used, and you can’t stop me heh.” Keno didn’t want to admit but he was right, because he was still an amateur and his deck was weak as it was. Keno stands down, and look down. Suki knew that it was impossible to beat Akogi, he’s truly devastating. “Keno, please stop…” Suki pleaded. Akogi exclaimed, “Well it not enough! Flame and Archruler attack him and wipe the rest of his life point!” Archruler rise from its throne as Flame approaching to Keno, Archruler began pulsing a giant fire ball from its palm then Flame threw a min fireball at Keno.

LP: 2300/3000

Keno yelp in pain from the attack cuased him to burn a little, but as he would think he can be relieved from the attack but what he have to worry was Archruler’s attack. Archruler readied its massive fireball. “Go Archruler, Devastated immolation!” Akgoi commanded. Archruler threw its fireball toward Keno, Keno look at the fireball as it was growing bigger and bigger but it only mean that it getting closer. Suki Screamed, “Stop! Stop it Akogi!!!!” Keno made contacted with the flame then the fireball burst into eruption of flame, engulfing Keno. As the eruption of the flame dispersed, Keno Stood still, gazing into nothingness, his body has shown burnt marks on his skin. “K-Keno?” Suki called out for him. Akogi Laughed, “Hah hah, Burned like a crispy chicken” Keno’s eyes began to close then he collapse to the ground. Suki rushed to Keno, calling out his name. What we don’t know that wether Keno survived the attack or not but it is certain that he lost…

LP: 0/3000 [/spoiler]

[spoiler=WARNING]
anyone insult nor harass will be reported
[/spoiler]

[CNo.101 S.H. Death Knight]

bump

[Supreme Gamesmaster]

...English isn't your first language, is it.

I'd review it properly, but Rise of a Champion wore me out. Fix the grammar (capitalize proper nouns and first letters only; nothing else). Then we'll talk.

[CNo.101 S.H. Death Knight]

[quote name='Supreme Gamesmaster' timestamp='1282872084' post='4569707']
...English isn't your first language, is it.

I'd review it properly, but Rise of a Champion wore me out. Fix the grammar (capitalize proper nouns and first letters only; nothing else). Then we'll talk.
[/quote]


i have no other language and i didn't have someone proof read yet this is just a draft

[Rockin' Rollin' Duelist]

I like it. I thought you said Crimm would have a small role in it

[Supreme Gamesmaster]

-.-

PROOFREAD [b]BEFORE[/b] POSTING. We don't want to read your drafts; we want to read a story. If you can't at least proofread your story, you can't expect anyone to read it.

[GreenLine]

why dont you take writing classes? if you need to improve your english , you can be a better storyteller then.

[CNo.101 S.H. Death Knight]

[quote name='GreenLine' timestamp='1282927121' post='4571251']
why dont you take writing classes? if you need to improve your english , you can be a better storyteller then.
[/quote]


well my previous story is actually ten time better than this, i was in a slump for some reasons. i will fix it.