Fusion X. Denver Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Hey wait, wasn't this going to get a 3 chapter release last weekend >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 You mean the one that would actually work copying until now? Yeah, its up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Bro, awesome stuff. Is Charles DL? I know Joseph is JZ, but I forget the 3rd guy and don't know who he is. But I've noticed, you seem to jump into duels too quickly. Like when Tsuchi and Heki came after your duel, one second I read they got there, then the next second Ayra and Kea were dueling them. I would just add more dialogue for those transitions and make them more "obvious". But great stuff, it kept me entertained during school today And I'm wondering if Zugai will lose soon.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Charles is an OC. No, Joseph is different. Also an OC. JZ is going to be a much more important character. And about Zugai, you'll soon find out. About the dialogue transitions, I was trying to think of one, but in reality, the main reason that Ayra and Kea lost was because they were surprised, so I kind of wanted to make the transition more sudden. And Battle City will not have as many Duels as you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Aha, I getchu. I noticed Zugai's personality change too, was that deliberate? And I'm psyched for Battle City bro, it's starting to get good. [size="1"]I dun have eye powers, do I?[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 It kinda was. I acted differently ever since a sports trip, so I kind of symbolized that change. [size="1"]No, you don't. You have a giant scorpion that can walk on freaking air molecules.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 So wait, you have a superiority complex now e.e Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Kinda sorta. It's just... I dislike a lot of "celebrity" attention, and formality doesn't really exist in my mind, so I don't care about superior positions. Also, I tend to be doing things a lot less when it comes to stupid competitions because I think the other people aren't that much of a competition, so basically, yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Well, it's just.. [quote name='BlackSkullCortez' timestamp='1290094816' post='4793269'] Charles stepped up to Zugai. “You may have beaten me, but I won’t lose to you next time!” Zugai smiled, “Hopefully. I’ll be fine with it if you inflict more than 1500 damage to me. That means you’ve done better.” [/quote] Seems kinda... What's the word? It's not really prickish, but kinda offensive to him, wouldn't it >.> And yo, how come the last 3 chapters are in one spoiler? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Well, because I couldn't find a splitting point. Also, it works faster for me. And that IS something I would say, FYI. It's like a 'friendly competition' think I like to say when I beat someone. And chapter 15 will be finished soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 It will? Nice, same with my fic One thing though, I think you should describe the appearances of the bad guys, I still don't know what they look like >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 So far, they're only really seen in darkness. Pretty soon, there will be a section where they will all be shown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Aha. Then emphasize their cloaked appearances until then >.> But looking forward to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2010 *sigh* When writers get bored, they write REALLY badly. As shown with Chapter 15. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted November 21, 2010 Report Share Posted November 21, 2010 Where was the writing bad? Good chapter, but uh, Zugai saying all that to Charles was kinda like a middle finger to Yusei's duels in the WRGP >.> Or was that intentional? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 21, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2010 *sigh* That's what I meant by the bad writing. But yeah, Zugai wasn't really saying that to Yusei, more like Team Taiyou. Yusei believes in "bond", but really, in the WRGP, he mostly uses his own strength, like in the Team Unicorn and Team Ragnarok duels. In the Team Taiyou and Team New World duels, he mostly uses his own power, but he uses a single card that was used by the entire team, not like using a card like Gaia Drake and protecting it throughout the whole duel just to make it unstoppable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted November 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2010 Chapter 16 has been added. I apparently can't write anything less than 10 pages per chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 1, 2010 Report Share Posted December 1, 2010 How the hell did I miss this update? I'll add in my commentary shortly. EDIT: Well hot-diggety, I fought Wolverine. Were those just random punks hired by Kadoguchi? I had no idea what you were doing with the serial killer, but the ending of that was cool. And I'm looking forward to dueling the giant transforming dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted December 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 FINALLY! A GOOD DUEL! It's funny because I caught up with Fusion's FF, even though my chapters are longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 4, 2010 Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 What a duel, I wish I had Blue Eyes Nemean Drakon >.> It was suspenseful and I'm wondering how the hell Zugai will get through that many Ghouls. Really looking forward to the next one. For srs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legendhiro Posted December 5, 2010 Report Share Posted December 5, 2010 i have only read the first chapter so far, but i have to say this is the second pleasant surprise i have encountered in the fan fiction section today. i like the inclusion of monster spirits (something that i have wanted to do in my fics, but haven't gotten a good chance), and i like the story structure and lengths of the chapters, but there are a few problems too. i've noticed a lack of physical description overall, and it could flow a little better here and there. i look forward to reading further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted December 5, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2010 @hiro Yeah, it was because I was planning on posting pictures of the characters early, but I still haven't gotten to doing it. I started doing a better job later, though. Anyway, Chapter 18 has been finished! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 5, 2010 Report Share Posted December 5, 2010 Oh wow, so you actually [i]fought[/i] the Ghouls. I thought you were going to do something ridiculous and somehow duel all of them and defeat them at once, but this makes more sense. What happened to Kai though? And damn, so many duels @__@ Liked the cliffhanger too, though I'm sure Draco will come to the rescue. Psyched for 19 bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackSkullCortez Posted December 5, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2010 Chapter 19 added! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 5, 2010 Report Share Posted December 5, 2010 Aha, so Kadoguchi is the misguided type of villainy. I think Hiro makes a good point, transitions need to be a little better. Like how there wasn't any reaction when Hiru and Ayra got there, and when the rest reached Zugai. It's just like, "They got there. Kadoguchi says, 'blah blah'" as if it's nothing significant, when it is. Otherwise, glad Hiru's back in the game, though I'm wondering just when Ayra...started liking him >.> My one minor complaint, mind putting "Just" in front of, "Who the hell do you think I am?" xP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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