Judico Murders, A Phoenix Wright Fanfic

[Nexev]

[spoiler=Stuff you don't care about but may need to know]

• 
  
• My grammar is bad, I'm sorry, I'm working on it.
  
• Pheonix Wright is a series for the nintendo ds.
  
• This is my first fanfic, thus it's most likely s***.
  
• Lucky for you I am taking a writing class, my other chapters should be a bit better.
  
• Critism welcome, but I will probbaly regret this....
  
• Ignore the green text, it's a lame inside joke of sorts.
  

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter one]

 

Genius Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth unlocked the door to his office. Most people when they see Edgeworth would first notice his red suit and cravat, then notice his pale hair and his face, a face that seemed to be looking straight at every single flaw you had and just begging to point them out. Even if it wasn’t the first thing they noticed, there were many villains who never forgot this face and its gaze. Edgeworth’s bright red suit matched the extravagant interior of his office rather well. Edgeworth smiled in triumph, the small folder in his hand was not a mere collection of papers the common man might assume, rather the spoils of a hard fought that Edgeworth had that very day. It took a while but Edgeworth managed to convince the Chief of Police to let him work on the SL-18 case. Edgeworth grimaced at the thought of what he would have had to have gone through to get the case a few years ago. Damon Grant wasn’t the type of person who Edgeworth could have simply asked politely and been allowed on the case. Thankfully that man was behind bars, which would have thought such a high ranked servant of the law would be capable of murder not once, but twice?

 

Edgeworth sat down at his desk, taking a moment to appreciate how polished his assistant, detective Dick Gumshoe, made it. He then opened the case file for the SL-18 case, personally lent to him by the lead investigator on the case Inspector Jevart.

 

SL 18

 

Known to the public as the Judico Murders, these are a series of serial killings with one link, all of the victims have been previously tried with felonies but got declared innocent through lack of evidence or other means such as the confessions of others, victims also include criminals who got parole for good behavior. The murderer leaves very little evidence of his passing, the only trace he leaves is the body, which have been mutilated by a large sharpened weapon, presumably 4 feet long.

 

Detectives on the case

Jevart Criminat (lead)

Lance Delmanci

Jack Masters

 

Victims

Frank Sawhit

Mimi Miney

Nexev Frohawk

Sal Manella

Furio Tigre

Yanni Yogi

 

Lead Suspect

Diego Armando- suspect has been previously convicted of murder and has been showed to have dramatic personality changes during notably traumatic moments in his life.

 

 

Edgeworth sighed; something didn’t add up, it made no sense for Diego, a former prosecutor who went under the alias of Godot, to suddenly become a murderer. He must have been framed, but how and why?

 

Edgeworth’s thoughts were interrupted as a resounding thud was heard from the door.

 

“Sir may I come in?” The voice from behind the door seemed to plead this request, as if it was scared.

 

Edgeworth sighed, while he hated interruptions after the fiasco that happened from discounting the report officer Meekins was supposed to give him a few years back he wasn’t able to afford ignoring this report either.

 

“Come in.” Edgeworth said, unlocking the door and wishing that this was going to be worth it.

 

He was unfortunately proven right as a whoosh noise was heard and a police officer slumped to the floor as the door was pushed open from his body. Blood pooled around him.

 

Standing behind the corpse was a figure covered in a black immersion suit, a gasmask completing the attire of strangeness. What would have been hilarious in any other situation proved rather frightening when the attire was complete with a makeshift poisoned dart gun held expertly in the left hand.

 

Edgeworth backed away in shock, “Why are you here? What do you want?”

 

The figure in the suit chuckled “Why would I tell you? Dead man can’t talk after all.”

 

Even a mind as sharp as Edgeworth’s couldn’t have pierced together what the figure meant in time to learn to dodge the bullet that was just about to be fired. As such it was inevitable that the bullet would hit its mark so cleanly, and that Edgeworth’s cravat, the centerpiece of his attire, would be the centerpiece of what could be called the second worst incident in his young life.

 

While walking away from the murder the figure chuckled, the police department attracted all sorts of weirdoes so no one would even bother giving him a second glance.

 

More importantly that fool Edgeworth had gotten soft, ever since that Wright character appeared he became more concerned with truth than with justice, he was on the path to corruption, better to cut a damaged cell before it became a cancer.

 

More importantly, that fool would have ruined everything, he worked so hard getting that coffee guzzler framed, gotten so close to finally having him pay for the murder that he managed to somehow get out of doing. There was no way he would have lobster suit ruin it.

 

Under his gas mask, the murderer smiled, the pieces were in place, his fight with Crime was a game of chess and he already had his foe in check.

 

In only a few more days, it will be a checkmate.

 

[Nexev]

BUMP!

[Erinyes]

At the fifth or sixth paragraph from the bottom, you put pierced when it should be pieced, I think. That's all I spotted in terms of grammar and spelling. Your writing isn't half bad, but it reads like a draft, so more editing and rereading should be done before posting your next chapter. It's late where I'm at now, but otherwise I would read it more carefully. There may be more mistakes.

 

Either way, you set up an okay concept, but as of right now it seems like a normal murder story. Then again, I know nothing of Phoenix Wright. I'll be checking in and reading the second and third chapters, but if you don't get my attention held by then, I'll probably stop reading.

[Nexev]

Thanks, I'm trying to figure out what exactly should happen in the next chapter.

[Twig]

There's some minor grammar mistakes, but it's mostly good.

 

This is great for a first; way better than my first. You did a great job of describing Edgeworth. I like how you didn't just tell us what he looked liked. This already has my attention held. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't change my mind.

[Nexev]

The fact that I read a few Foe Fictions helped with this.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Sorry, I wish I had more time for this, but I'm busy right now. It's pretty good, and I guess I'll come back to it after chapter 2 comes out to hopefully say something.