The Pub at the Edge of the Multiverse ~ Fanfiction Public Planning Thread

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Sounds like The World Ends With You...

 

 

The story sounds like just about any other "there's a tournament" Yu-Gi-Oh story. The only thing that's different are what's at stake. =\

 

Then again, the thing that's at stake may be what makes the story more interesting...

 

You say "each contestant", implying there's more then just the protagonist, but then you also say not many accept the Divine Trial so like... what?

[Aesirson]

I've never played TWEWY.

 

There have to be a set number of contestants for the Divine Trial to begin. When someone accepts the Divine Trial, if they are not the last one, their spirits are kind of placed in a "sleep-in-the-sleep" until the number is filled, and that is when the Trial begins.

 

That sounded complicated, but I think you understand what I mean. And the fic won't be to focused on Duels since I suck at writing them, but rather a drama with duels as an "action relief".

[Quiksilver]

That's what I was saying. Weren't you arguing otherwise? I was talking about the GAME Duel Monsters in a whole, not a specific Duel Monster. I mean this- Duel Monsters

 

If they're refugees, they may appeal to my (very small) sense of sympathy, but sympathy can only stretch so far, and I become much less forgiving as time goes on and my resources are stretched, and even less so after I'm attacked.

 

Hell, they could have been 5 orphans without shotguns. I'd be sympathetic for a week or so, but as time went on my sense of hospitality would wane. While before I had enough money to eat well, I now find myself dipping into my savings just to feed everyone for a week. While I had ultimate privacy, I now have to line up to use the bathroom in the morning. So yeah, as time goes on I'd be feeling less and less generous.

 

Finally, the "last straw" when one of my orphans attacks me. All of them have become a burden so they're getting tossed to the curb. Let someone else pity them.

 

On the other hand, my patience would most likely increase greatly if the orphans actually did pull their own weight. They kept the place clean. They washed the dishes. The eldest one got whatever job a young teen could find and contributed to the rent in some way. Yeah, I might be more inclined to feel pity if they helped... I'd probably have this happen.

 

Which leads me to the next part of the mild critique. I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that the Duel Monsters would help around the planet. Stick a plow on a Blue Eyes and make him till the entire field faster then any horse ever could. Time Wizard speeds up time and makes your plants grow. Dark Magician Girl... attracts customers to your delicious corn selling store.

 

But tilling the field and speeding up time are EXTREMELY helpful things that humans or animals can not do on their own. Let's say it's the beginning of humanity, and we just domesticated horses. One horse kills a guy. Now, the options are either:

 

a) Murder all horses.

B) Murder this one specific horse that killed a guy.

 

Apparently humanity picks choice A, but replacing murder with sealing in w/e or something. It just stupid for the entirety of humanity to do this. =\

 

... So to summarize!

 

1: Duel Monsters come into the world of humans.

2: If Duel Monsters were lazy layabouts, humans had every right to extinguish them.

3: If Duel Monsters pulled their own weight, and did so in a vastly superior way to any kind of animal (which they almost assuredly would), when a small handful of them rebel, humanity has two options; get rid of the ones that are troublemakers, or get rid of all of them. Getting rid of all of them is a stupid option, for obvious reasons, yet humanity takes this option...

 

So to conclude, either humans are right and it's not black and white, or humans are stupid and the story is awful and plothole ridden.

 

I'm afraid not everyone is as rational or clear-sighted as you. Humans have a history of making bad choices. Whether it's killing someone because they are different, in skin or personality, or stereotyping, humanity has a distinctly flawed view when it comes to differences. Let's say what you say did happen. The Duel Spirits did help out humanity, and when some of them did rebel, they only got rid of the troublemakers. But now these humans know that they Duel Monsters have power, and become afraid of them. What's to say the next time they get into a fight with a Duel Monster, the Duel Monster might not blast them with powers? Humans begin to act more guardedly around Duel Monsters, and every time they hear about Duel Monsters rebelling, they become more and more afraid. Fear is a powerful thing. It's irrational, and it's clouds people's better judgement. Finally, after from one last rebellion, they snap. They see Duel Monsters as these powerful creatures that are ready to blow at any minute. They don't see that all Duel Monsters are different, that not all of them rebel. They don't see that their own race fights amongst themselves as often, if more, with the Duel Monsters. They see an enemy, and as you said before, they Fight or Flight instinct kicks in. They decide to fight for the same reason you used in your shotgun analogy- this is their home, their land. But the Duel Monsters are too powerful to be contained; the best they can do is seal them away. And they do it with all of them; for in their blind fear, they only see the power contained and how it can be used against them, not the people using said powers.

 

That is why they would lock all Duel Monsters away. Fear.

 

The "too many excuses" was in reference to the "oh well, you need a certain amount of power" section when you thought people would bring up why Duel Monsters didn't come out as reinforcements during the great battle/war thing instead of refugees at a later on time. That part was indeed, ill-advised and probably not a good thing to include.

 

Honestly, I don't see it.

 

The main parts of the story as I see them are; a Duel Monster entity attacks a duelist. Duelist gets saved by a group of magical people. Magical people explain their magic. Also, Duel Monsters are refugees who are possibly being harassed by the main entity that the group is also attacking, just pawns to the main villain, and also victims of his wrath. Absolutely nothing in that story is enriched by time travel. Maybe if you included some elaborate time travel based scavenger hunt midway through or something, but that just seems like padding for the sake of padding. If time travel exists in this world, the same annoying questions about time travel will pop up.

 

I see what you mean. The time travel thing might be getting a bit overwhelming and complicated, with too many plotholes in it.

 

As for specific annoying things about time travel, check out this Cracked list. Specifically number 5.

 

http://www.cracked.com/article_16625_8-classic-movies-that-got-away-with-gaping-plot-holes.html

 

And sure, I'm betting you'll mention some kind of plot thing. "You need x-amount of time and y-amount of power and it only lasts for z-amount of time" but then throwing arbitrary limitations up because otherwise your plot is asinine leads to my original "you're making excuses" complaint.

 

I was actually going to mention how the time-travelers protect the timestream and must not remain in one place for too long in case of irreversible time paradoxes when I realized you were right.

 

I don't need any credit for anything. All my tips and/or pointers and/or help come free of charge. Most of these ideas are actually thoughts I've had for fanfics over the years and I'm just glad to see someone getting them done. =\

 

That's exactly why you deserve credit. 'Cuz you aren't asking for it.

[Guest PikaPerson01]

When someone accepts the Divine Trial, if they are not the last one, their spirits are kind of placed in a "sleep-in-the-sleep" until the number is filled, and that is when the Trial begins.

... That sounds like it might be interesting, if only to get people from ridiculous time periods in. We see a brave knight and a southern belle all attempting to figure out what's going on. And maybe the final plot twist is that our protagonists isn't the last one. His final opponent in the tournament is a guy from 300+ years in the future and no one accepted the Divine Trial until 300 years after he did, so anyone he knew and loved is most likely long dead and it'd be selfish of him to be given another chance when his time period is long been over.

 

Kind of dark to say they're forced to the deepest etc etc of Hell. I'd say omit that, or at least keep it to yourself until much later. =\

 

I'm afraid not everyone is as rational or clear-sighted as you.

Yeah, but not everyone is a frightened child who quivers in fear at the slightest provocation.

 

Me, I'm barely giving this any thought at all. But the people in this very universe, I don't think it's a stretch to say a good portion of them would have their entire livelihoods depending on Duel Monster.

 

It'd be like trying to convince the people in the Pokemon universe to abandon their Pokemon just because a few of them fought back, or trying to convince people in this universe to eliminate all other animals because they fought back. No one would wanna do it because the benefits they provide would greatly outweigh the consequences.

 

 

On a completely unrelated note, I had a bit of a clever-ish idea. There's plenty of "human-enough" looking Duel Spirits. Most of the spellcasters. Most of the warriors. Plenty of the plants and some of the beasts could look like normal-enough plants and animals too and go into hiding. I could imagine Cobalt Eagle taking a vow of silence and hiding out in the mountains with Amethyst Cat while Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl start up a lawfirm or become math teachers or something.

 

So basically, the idea is one day the human world is "invaded" by Duel Monsters because... whatever. Humans panic and such and within a week or two of mayhem or w/e, they attempt to seal them all but, for the most part, don't seal all or even a good number of them, just the blatantly obvious ones, mostly the dragons and machines and all the horrifying scary ones.

 

A majority of the duel monsters go into hiding, disguised as people, plants or animals or hide out in places humans usually never trek, like the mountains or the rain forests or the deep ocean or something. Then, whatever threat that caused the spirits to need to escape their world happens to the human world. Our protagonist is caught up in this, and rescued by the Duel Monsters or by a human who sympathizes with them, or some other stuff. Now the plot is to defeat whatever it was that destroyed the spirit world and prevent it from destroying our world.

 

The Duel Monster spirits have their own problems and customs. Most hate humans for what they did and wouldn't help them out. Colbalt Eagle sees a man fall of a cliff. He shrugs it off and goes to hunting squirrels or whatever instead of helping him. Some spirits see humanity as a worthwhile ally against whatever common threat they were up against. A small portion of them honestly feel sympathy for the humans and want to help and feel bad for putting them in harms way like this.

 

And... yeah. =\

[Aesirson]

The Trial takes place in the present, so the Protagonist must be the last or close to last person who accepts it. But there will be people from earlier time periods, and maybe some historical person(s).

[Quiksilver]

On a completely unrelated note, I had a bit of a clever-ish idea. There's plenty of "human-enough" looking Duel Spirits. Most of the spellcasters. Most of the warriors. Plenty of the plants and some of the beasts could look like normal-enough plants and animals too and go into hiding. I could imagine Cobalt Eagle taking a vow of silence and hiding out in the mountains with Amethyst Cat while Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl start up a lawfirm or become math teachers or something.

 

So basically, the idea is one day the human world is "invaded" by Duel Monsters because... whatever. Humans panic and such and within a week or two of mayhem or w/e, they attempt to seal them all but, for the most part, don't seal all or even a good number of them, just the blatantly obvious ones, mostly the dragons and machines and all the horrifying scary ones.

 

A majority of the duel monsters go into hiding, disguised as people, plants or animals or hide out in places humans usually never trek, like the mountains or the rain forests or the deep ocean or something. Then, whatever threat that caused the spirits to need to escape their world happens to the human world. Our protagonist is caught up in this, and rescued by the Duel Monsters or by a human who sympathizes with them, or some other stuff. Now the plot is to defeat whatever it was that destroyed the spirit world and prevent it from destroying our world.

 

The Duel Monster spirits have their own problems and customs. Most hate humans for what they did and wouldn't help them out. Colbalt Eagle sees a man fall of a cliff. He shrugs it off and goes to hunting squirrels or whatever instead of helping him. Some spirits see humanity as a worthwhile ally against whatever common threat they were up against. A small portion of them honestly feel sympathy for the humans and want to help and feel bad for putting them in harms way like this.

 

And... yeah. =\

 

Since most of the plants are living, I don't really see how that would work. Could you imagine standing still for your entire life?

 

But, it's a good idea. I can just see a human scientist "rescuing" Machines and hiding them in his inventor hideout. It would be epic for the group to go to Egypt and to a pyramid, only to have it be the Pyramid Turtle and have him rise out of the sand.

 

However, if that was true, and if you're following my line of reasoning with the sealing in YGO cards, then wouldn't we not have those hiding Duel Monsters in our cards? They wouldn't exist, for all matters and purposes, in Yu-Gi-Oh! as we know it; they wouldn't have cards of their own. Unless, in this hypothetical place they aren't going to play with Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, instead using physical force and the like? Have Cobalt Eagle rip an enemy to shreds with his talons or something?

 

The Trial takes place in the present, so the Protagonist must be the last or close to last person who accepts it. But there will be people from earlier time periods, and maybe some historical person(s).

 

I actually thought Pika's idea was pretty good, with the human sacrificing himself so the one futuristic person could see his family again. Hell, if you wanted to make everyone have a happy ending, then have the Angels take pity on him and have him wake up in the present, so he could live his happy life the way he wanted.

 

And, maybe it could take place in the present- perhaps it's all an illusion, each person warps it to their own time periods or whatnot? That being said, that would make connections between characters a little...strange.

 

Historical person(s)? I dare you to include Amelia Earhart, or Blackbeard. Do you know how awesome that would be?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Since most of the plants are living, I don't really see how that would work. Could you imagine standing still for your entire life?

Depends on the specific plant I guess. Lonefire Blossom looks rather stationary. However Gigaplant and Dandylion and Tytanniel look like they have some motion to them, so if anything they'd hide out in the rainforests or something.

 

However, if that was true, and if you're following my line of reasoning with the sealing in YGO cards, then wouldn't we not have those hiding Duel Monsters in our cards?

I thought about that but I figured, wouldn't it make sense for random humans to just make this card game based on something we only just barely remember or some old relic from the past? Like if today, someone invented a TCG based on Dinosaurs or on Medieval Knights or something (and I'm sure somebody has). Duel Monster spirits don't have to be sealed away necessarily... heck, you don't even really need to come up with some over the top story and having to explain how humans got access to magic. Some humans just pulled out an AK-47 and started shooting.

 

 

... On a completely unrelated note, at what point in time (as in, for humans) does this Duel Monster invasion take place? When I was writing about it a few times up, I figured it was like, at the dawn of civilization, thousands of years ago, and in this one I assume it's post World War 2 (just for the sake of the AK-47 example). I don't believe your original post specified when the battle between humans and Duel Monsters took place (Roman Times, Medieval Times, Colonial Times, WW1 and WW2, etc etc). So... tl;dr - When did duel monsters invade the human world and when did humans finally get fed up about it and fight back?

 

Also, does this fic take place in like, the Yu-Gi-Oh-verse (as in, Yugi and Seto are actual people here) or is it like... some other universe or... what's going on?

 

The Trial takes place in the present, so the Protagonist must be the last or close to last person who accepts it. But there will be people from earlier time periods, and maybe some historical person(s).

That kind of opens up an odd question. I'm assuming, for the sake of assumption, that the protagonist wins it all in the end (and that may be incorrect, so w/e), but if some colonial guy or a knight or Amelia Earhart or Blackbeard wins, I assume there'd be a lot of problems with them trying to acclimate to the present. Heck, even if the winner is a guy who died 3 years ago, he won't be able to just pick up where his life left off. Then again, if he comes back at the exact moment he died (or an hour later at the hospital), a lot of people would think it were all "just a dream" or something.

[Quiksilver]

I thought about that but I figured, wouldn't it make sense for random humans to just make this card game based on something we only just barely remember or some old relic from the past? Like if today, someone invented a TCG based on Dinosaurs or on Medieval Knights or something (and I'm sure somebody has). Duel Monster spirits don't have to be sealed away necessarily... heck, you don't even really need to come up with some over the top story and having to explain how humans got access to magic. Some humans just pulled out an AK-47 and started shooting.

 

That makes sense. It could just be humans and Duel Monsters got into a great war, and humans won, leaving Duel Monsters to retreat into hiding.

 

... On a completely unrelated note, at what point in time (as in, for humans) does this Duel Monster invasion take place? When I was writing about it a few times up, I figured it was like, at the dawn of civilization, thousands of years ago, and in this one I assume it's post World War 2 (just for the sake of the AK-47 example). I don't believe your original post specified when the battle between humans and Duel Monsters took place (Roman Times, Medieval Times, Colonial Times, WW1 and WW2, etc etc). So... tl;dr - When did duel monsters invade the human world and when did humans finally get fed up about it and fight back?

 

Also, does this fic take place in like, the Yu-Gi-Oh-verse (as in, Yugi and Seto are actual people here) or is it like... some other universe or... what's going on?

 

In my story? Well, I always assumed it was around the dawn of civilization, just like you. If I had to choose, I'd say they came around the time of Mesopotamia, like you said, and that the humans finally rebelled sometime into the classical period, like Rome, Greece, and Egypt. It would be significant because around that time polytheistic religion, or the belief in many gods was really popular; you could contribute those gods to either Sacred Cards or really powerful Duel Monsters. There would undoubtedly be people who worshipped the more powerful Duel Monsters for the power they possessed.

 

I was thinking of placing it in the YGO universe, yes, but there would be no interaction with any characters of the anime; it'd probably take place before Yugi and all of that.

[Guest PikaPerson01]

That makes sense. It could just be humans and Duel Monsters got into a great war, and humans won, leaving Duel Monsters to retreat into hiding.

Humans don't even have to win (and it makes sense that they wouldn't, since Duel Monsters are so much significantly stronger then humans). A big guy like BEWD would notice he's being shot at, find it annoying, and then fly off and sleep in the mountains. (though... maybe not JUST "find it annoying"). As for the rest, they'd probably avoid trying to kill humans and just go into hiding or trying to disguise themselves and walk among humans.

 

I was thinking of placing it in the YGO universe, yes, but there would be no interaction with any characters of the anime; it'd probably take place before Yugi and all of that.

Fascinating...

 

Might make more sense to be in it's own universe as opposed to the Yu-Gi-verse, but... IDK. It'd be hard to timeline things considering a series takes place after this, so all of it has to remain hidden and underground, whereas in an original universe that's slightly similar to the Yu-Gi-verse, you could have more fun and not worry so much about whether or not it works with established canon.

[Quiksilver]

Humans don't even have to win (and it makes sense that they wouldn't, since Duel Monsters are so much significantly stronger then humans). A big guy like BEWD would notice he's being shot at, find it annoying, and then fly off and sleep in the mountains. (though... maybe not JUST "find it annoying"). As for the rest, they'd probably avoid trying to kill humans and just go into hiding or trying to disguise themselves and walk among humans.

 

They are peaceful, eh?

 

Fascinating...

 

Might make more sense to be in it's own universe as opposed to the Yu-Gi-verse, but... IDK. It'd be hard to timeline things considering a series takes place after this, so all of it has to remain hidden and underground, whereas in an original universe that's slightly similar to the Yu-Gi-verse, you could have more fun and not worry so much about whether or not it works with established canon.

 

That's what I generally do. I want to incorporate Duel Monsters, Riding Duels, and the like into my fanfic without getting real depth with it, so I don't have to mention tedious things like who invented what and in-anime things. A separate but similar universe would probably make the most sense. And be the easiest to work with.

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Eh, random-ish idea.

 

One sentence summary: A pair of ghost hunters duke it out with the paranormal in 1960's New York.

 

Longer-ish summary: Our protagonist, 29 year old Catherine Gibbs, begins by explaining the ins and outs of her trade, namely getting rid of ghosts. It's done in a more "traditional" style of hauntings, so don't come into the story expecting GhostBusters or anything like that.

 

She explores famous-ish New York landmarks, helping the dearly departed find out what "unfinished business" they need to settle, and she helps them resolve it.

 

At some point (either shortly before the story begins, or just after the first chapter) she decides she needs a partner. So she begins training [First Name Unknown] Prescott, a 22 year old male. He's a bit of a n00b or whatever in the whole ghost hunting, and he's sarcastic and such, but he's not incompetent. He quickly proves himself to be a helpful asset to Gibbs. Also, he's obscenely wealthy. While Catherine is in it for the money, Prescott is in it for the lulz.

 

Not all the ghosts Gibbs and Prescott encounter are particularly friendly, as we find out in the second chapter. There's also a bunch of rules as to how everything works. How to summon a ghost, why ghosts exist, how to make a place be not-haunted, how a ghost can possess someone, how to perform an exorcism, etc etc. I won't make any promises, but I'd do my best not to make it a random info dump.

 

The "story" isn't just one particular story. In fact, it's 4 separate cases Catherine took, each with their own beginning, middle, and end. They do sort of have their own natural progression, and I can assure you the Catherine we meet at the beginning of Chapter 1 isn't the same as the Catherine we meet at the end of Chapter 4.

 

So like... yeah. o_o

For the record, I am still working on this. Just been extremely busy. I really wanted to start posting around mid-June, but I'm not even halfway done. >_>

[Frybread002]

Hmmm...well, it seems like nobody is posting any ideas and no ideas does really seem to be answered, so I think it is safe for me to pitch this story without answering anyone's questions.

 

Okay, this fan-fic idea, is an idea that I've been thinking extreamly hard about for 3 months now I guess, but I've been thinking of a Hunger Games related fan-fic. To anyone who doesn't know what The Hunger Games are, it's a book written by Suzanne Collins and was released in August (I think), 2009. The story focus's on a futuristic North America that has been completely destroyed and wiped out by a series of wars. Not just North American itself, but it's government, cities, and mainly it's civilization has been destroyed. The war itself is never described in the book, but after the war, North America pulled itself together to form a new government and civilization. With this new government, there was one "Capital" named Panem, with 13 districts outlying the land and specialized in whatever job that their geographical location has been set. With these 13 districts, each of and everyone of them provided the needs for the Capital and the other outlying districts. Labor specialization in other words.

 

The exact timeline is unknown within the story, as all we do know (as the reader), is the Hunger Games book, takes place a couple of centuries from now. Although a lot of specifics are of unknown origin, this infomation just sets up the plot and setting of the book and there is no real point into asking any real questions regerding the plot. But after the creation of Panem, District 13 -who specialized in minning Uranium to provide Nuclear Power- was unhappy with the government and rebelled, using it's natural resources, District 13 caused an entire Nuclear War with the Capital. Forcing the Districts the either ally with the Capital or District 13.

 

In the end however, District 13 lost it's war and was completely destroyed by it's own weapons. The other districts that allied themselves with District 13, were severely punished. To prevent any future rebellions, Panem established a new blood sport simply called "The Hunger Games." Where each district (even the ones who allied themselves with the Capital) was forced to send two of it's citizens between 12 and 18 years old. One male. One female.The reason behind this, is to serve as a remindeer to those who dare to rebell against the Capital again. However, the most disturbing thing about it, is that the Hunger Games are not protrayed as a "Death Sentence", the Capital itself, serves it as a "Celebration" instead of a remindeer.

 

Going off of what the book said, there were only 75 Hunger Games and so far, that is the only infomation that is really neccesary to actually give out (without going into exact detail). But in any other infomation, I would say read the book (highly recommended) or read a Wikia to get an understanding. But everything I said so far, is only the plot and seeing how much infomation I have posted, I will reveal my idea regerding the fan-fic in my next post. But I just want to see what what people would think about a Fan-Fic idea, using this story.

 

This is only the plot from the book, but I am rather pressed for time as well, so I will post the infomation another time. But all, in all, what do you guys think?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

*reads the Wiki about it*

 

Sounds interesting-ish, but... the last book ends with an epilogue. There's not really many places for the story to go from here. I'm sure you could explore the previous Hunger Games or the war between 13th and the Capitol but... idk.

[Frybread002]

BINGO!!! Hit the nail right on your money!!! (...that wasn't too planed out...)

 

Personal Goal

 

That was what I was actually thinking of myself, exploring a previous Hunger Game. But the only problem I do see myself, is that I really don't this Hunger Game fan-fic to have any influences on the book itself (like, the reason for this character to be real snotty in the book, is because this happend in the past Hunger Game). I really want this to be it's own story and have it's pacing. With that being said, it's going to take place around the 23rd Hunger Games, that way, it really won't have any connections and to also have it's own unique and individualized characters.

If anything, I really want this to attract more than the averge joe who did read the Hunger Games and to literally expand to those who haven't read them yet. Like, I think it is safe to say, that I'm really writting this for those who haven't read the Hunger Games yet.

 

Characters

 

The main character of this story, is a 16-yeard, homeless street rat named Will Farley. He's a weak, selflish crybaby, who's only family was his 2 brothers and his mother. Being the youngest of the three, Will is one of those characters who are still afraid of their own shadow and still sleep with the night-light on. Everyone who knows him, can easily say that if he were to be selected in the Hunger Games, he would be the first one to die. When compared to his other two brothers, everyone can say that he's only an extra waste of space and only one more mouth to feed.

 

His hometown (which is District 12, and the same district for the main character in the book), is protayed as a "Living hell" to it's inhabitants due to the lack of food and poor economy, while many kids are constanly dying of starvation and the parents really can't do anything but pray they can make it past this. Not only that, it's pretty much run like a dictorship, with a semi-corrupted police force.

 

The way that I want to portray Distract 12 in this fan-fic, is that is in "slightly better" conditions compared to the book. Economy is rather good, starvation is only the least of problems, and people are worried about constant attacks from the wildlife that surrounds them. Minor stuff like that.

 

How this affects Will, is that he is constanly looked down upong by other people, low selfesteem, and is usually told "be like your brothers." You see, the way that I see his brothers, is that they are the type of people you can totally rely on whenever you need help, but when you hear about Will's reputation, you really don't anything to do with him. With that being said, both of Will's brother's are both selected to participate in the Hunger Games. Ironically, the brothers weren't chosen, but insteand they volunteered so that no unfortunate soul couldn't partcipate. Utimately, the brothers volunteered on seperate years, but died on those seperate years as well, during the Hunger Games.

 

As for their mother, I'm not too sure on what should happen with her exactly, but all I do know, is that Will only has himself now, and with no real person to guide him, he remains a coward the rest of his life, until he himself volunteers for the games. To show people that he isn't a coward, and to prove to himself that he is no longer afraid.

 

 

Story

During the course of the Hunger Games books, each game is generally percieved as entertainment and is controlled by the masses. In other words, each year during the Hunger Games, it's more entertaining than a death sentence. So if there is a Tribute who can entertain, then more than likely they will recieve support from people and recieve gifts that can help them.

 

In the books, the theme of "Love" was used, where two tributes pretended to be in love and eventually won. Which was the year that a "Romantic tale" was told.

 

For this fan-fic, what I want to use, is "Hostility", "Loyalty", and "Respect".

 

Hostility to show that you are now capable of standing on your own feet. Using your own words, instead of somebody elses.

 

Loyalty to show what you beleive in, and who you believe in. Casting aside any doubt you ever had and to move forward.

 

Respect to show everyone that you are willing to accept your enemy as your friend. To let of the past and pray to be stronger.

 

Any thoughts so far guys?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

... I think your best bet would be the first Hunger Games. The books cover the 74th and 75th (the last two) so doing the first one might be fun, as opposed to the 23rd.

 

I think the biggest problem is you're just retreading common ground. The book has a girl going through the Hunger Games and her adventures. The friends and people she meets, and at the end she subverts the status quo of the government she lives in. Your fic is some guy going through the Hunger Games and his adventures. The friends he meets and at the end... the status quo doesn't get subverted, because we know from hindsight that it doesn't since the books take place after.

 

If someone wanted to read that, they'd read the book. In the same way that if someone wants to hear about an Osiris going to a Duel Academy and being the best duelist there even though he's a red they could just watch the GX anime instead of reading a GX fic on YCM.

 

Instead of retreading common ground, why not present the information from a new angle? What did President Snow think of all of this? What were all the other people in The Capital thinking while watching this? What did the sponsor people think?

[Frybread002]

'Retreding common ground' eh? You know, I didn't see it like, so it more then likely to to post this on here.

 

But aside from my outside thoughts. Getting onto bussineses here:

 

Okay, if anything, in terms of the actual book itself, the earliest Hunger Game that is ever explained to the reader, is the 25th Hunger Game, where instead of the boy and girl being randomly selected, is that the locol community selects the Tributes (the term for those who are selected). That's the earliest Hunger Game that the reader does know, and so I do try to go back to the first Hunger Game, I'm afraid I'll be taken some liberties that will pretty much ruin the story that was already established within the book. Not only that, if I do focus on the first Hunger Game, I'm thinking I may end making the making the main character being the rebellious and stuborn character, who's only focus that is trying to get revenge on the Capital for does this. Which is pretty much the same story in the book as well. So I may end up just re-telling the entire triligy but just with different characts. Something I'm afraid to do.

 

What I want to do, is have the main character be weak and fragile. He doesn't know what's he doing, and he himself believes he should just kill himself, since no one will even miss him. Not only that, if I were to use the first Hunger Game, I will have to pretty much create an entire setting for each District and within that process, I will have to create a bunch of things that have to be explained within the fic, that will have some kind of influence on the actually book(s).

 

With all of that being said, that's more of the same reason I want to work with the 23rd Hunger Game. There's an established plot, setting, and story-line. The only things that I do have to worry about, is trying not to trend on the common ground (using your same words Pika). In the book, the main character pretty much goes through a staged love story. The main character knows her feelings are fake for the boy, but the boy is actually in love with her, so the main character is forced to stage a fake love story, but trying to figure what her real feelings are. That's pretty much the story right there.

 

In the fic, what I want to aim for, is that in his own distract, the main character's life is a living hell. Everyday he fights with all of his strength to survive, but when he's selected for the Hunger Games, he comes to the shocking truth that his life in the Hunger Games are a lot better than that of the District life. Because if he does win, his District pretty much get's a big celebrations and has a lot of ensured food for an entire year. So, all of a sudden, his life from meaningless crap, to something worthwhile.

 

Using the exact words that I just said, during his time in the Hunger Game, is where he really starts to develope as a character. He starts to know what it takes to live everyday to the fullest. Feel like every minute is your last minute. Being thankful for every meal you have. That's where he really starts to become stronger as a character and develope.

 

How's that so far Pika (and everyone else who's listening)?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

That's the same story. Katniss is a useless poor girl from District 12. Then she does the Hunger Games which is where her character develops. Your character is the same, except a different gender.

 

The only difference is that your story is significantly less interesting then the actual book. While the book had the plot twist in that Peeta, a fellow competitor was in love with Katniss and they used that to their advantage, your story doesn't... it's a straight forward Hunger Game. And it's FORCED to have the same story, because that's what we heard about every single Hunger Game beforehand.

[Guest Star]

Well, I've started working on my new project, which is Season 3 of Hidden Legacy. I'm sure, based on well, common sense and how poorly written the original series' were, anyone who takes a look would absolutely give me the "mary sue" run down, simply because of how generic the characters were in the first two seasons, names especially. With that being said, given the fact that I've developed the characters as much as I have, I don't want to change the names or the cities or anything like that, because I feel like there are a lot of stories I want to see work out for them.

 

If anyone is interested in giving me some feedback, I would greatly appreciate that. I want to know what people think.

 

While I'm here, is there anyone who can give me some tips/advice on describing monster summons in duels and what to use for non-dialogue in between speaking? This seems to be where I struggle most.

[Guest PikaPerson01]

... What the hell is Hidden Legacy? >_>

[Quiksilver]

Well, I've started working on my new project, which is Season 3 of Hidden Legacy. I'm sure, based on well, common sense and how poorly written the original series' were, anyone who takes a look would absolutely give me the "mary sue" run down, simply because of how generic the characters were in the first two seasons, names especially. With that being said, given the fact that I've developed the characters as much as I have, I don't want to change the names or the cities or anything like that, because I feel like there are a lot of stories I want to see work out for them.

 

If anyone is interested in giving me some feedback, I would greatly appreciate that. I want to know what people think.

 

While I'm here, is there anyone who can give me some tips/advice on describing monster summons in duels and what to use for non-dialogue in between speaking? This seems to be where I struggle most.

 

Looking through your topics, I see that this "Hidden Legacy" you've been talking about is a fanfic series you started. That being what it is, and me never having read it, I'm afraid I can't give much advice on the subject; looking through the first chapter of Season 3, I see that you're better than most about writing chapters, and I liked the duel portions. That being said, you could do more to highlight the monsters and effects happening in real-time. Since that's one of the pieces of advice you asked for, I'd just say go off the monster being summoned and the "feel" you get from the card. Say you're just summoning Trishula. Going off the card, I would write something like-

 

"My two Monsters on the field were destroyed in a flash, followed by what seemed to be ice and snow falling onto the field. With a sudden appearance, a large blue dragon-like creature appeared, with large white wings extending on it's back. It's head, chest, and limbs were covered by a whitish armor that seemed to gleam in the light, and with a craning of it's head the Synchro monster lifted it's heads to the heavens, roaring intimidatingly."

 

So, just emphasize the monsters and their appearances, and give what you think would happen if they were truly summoned. As for the other thing...just give details, on how the crowd reacts to events, how your opponent reacts, thoughts of your characters, et cetera. It's helped me out a lot in the past to do things like that.

[Guest Star]

... What the hell is Hidden Legacy? >_>

 

Like I said, it's a series I've started in 2007, and continued to develop up to this point. Which is why I understand a lot of people won't remember it/won't know the story, thus making it difficult for help with the story.

 

 

Looking through your topics, I see that this "Hidden Legacy" you've been talking about is a fanfic series you started. That being what it is, and me never having read it, I'm afraid I can't give much advice on the subject; looking through the first chapter of Season 3, I see that you're better than most about writing chapters, and I liked the duel portions. That being said, you could do more to highlight the monsters and effects happening in real-time. Since that's one of the pieces of advice you asked for, I'd just say go off the monster being summoned and the "feel" you get from the card. Say you're just summoning Trishula. Going off the card, I would write something like-

 

"My two Monsters on the field were destroyed in a flash, followed by what seemed to be ice and snow falling onto the field. With a sudden appearance, a large blue dragon-like creature appeared, with large white wings extending on it's back. It's head, chest, and limbs were covered by a whitish armor that seemed to gleam in the light, and with a craning of it's head the Synchro monster lifted it's heads to the heavens, roaring intimidatingly."

 

So, just emphasize the monsters and their appearances, and give what you think would happen if they were truly summoned. As for the other thing...just give details, on how the crowd reacts to events, how your opponent reacts, thoughts of your characters, et cetera. It's helped me out a lot in the past to do things like that.

 

See, that's where I struggle the most. I know it's necessary, and I hate for it to come off as bland, but it's difficult to maintain that sort of effective description for me. :/

[Frybread002]

See, that's where I struggle the most. I know it's necessary, and I hate for it to come off as bland, but it's difficult to maintain that sort of effective description for me. :/

 

Simple answer to a bland question; just wing it. It sounds rather..."Bland." What I mean by this, is that once you get a audience that can keep up with your story and have a foundation for your writing. Like, I remember reading this one Kingdom Hearts fan-fic on Fan-Fiction.net, where this user (MemoryxSkykeeper) had literally reused most of her words, but I fell in love with her writing, because she didn't worry about that currently situation. She pretty much kept going with the story, without giving a second glance to her choice of words.

 

That's the same story. Katniss is a useless poor girl from District 12. Then she does the Hunger Games which is where her character develops. Your character is the same, except a different gender.

 

The only difference is that your story is significantly less interesting then the actual book. While the book had the plot twist in that Peeta, a fellow competitor was in love with Katniss and they used that to their advantage, your story doesn't... it's a straight forward Hunger Game. And it's FORCED to have the same story, because that's what we heard about every single Hunger Game beforehand.

 

(...umm...everyone in District 12 is poor...>.<)

 

Wow...are you really reading the Wikia?? I'd just figured you would read the plot and leave it at that. If I would've known that you read the entire thing, I seriously would've just skipped the entire post of me trying to describe the setting and plot.

 

With everything I just said, if you haven't realized, I've spent more time trying to explain to you the universe and the plot from the book, then I was actually talking about my characters or the story itself. So it's kinda too early to say anything just yet, since you just read only the character profile that I'm using. It's cool though, since I'm assuming that you pretty much read the entire Wikia, I think I can finally tell my story right off the bat here (again, if I knew you were going to read the entire Wikia or something like that, then I would've skipped the messages of me explaining the book).

 

Characters

 

Okay, from day one of planning this idea, I wanted to work with the District 12 story-line, since that's the only real district that I do have enough information that I can start working with, that had the most relatively ease. As I said earlier, it's been established and I don't want to work certain things out of fear of ruining the story itself (both the fan-fic and the actual book itself). In case you didn't know, everyone in District 12 is poor at the beginning of the book. What I want to do in my fan-fic, is show that District in a slightly "better" conditions when compared to the book itself.

 

Not only that, when comparing my character to Katniss, my character is a wimp and a crybaby (something I already to do as well). Katniss herself, isn't useless., she goes hunting on a daily basis that is against the law, she feeds her family, makes illegal trades on the black market various people and also shuts people away from her because she is afraid of making friends. She knows that she has to live, so she could support her family.

 

My character, Will, is already homeless, his family - which consists of his two older brothers (the mom, I'm not sure if I want to add) - had died from being in the past Hunger Games, he is a coward and crybaby and is constantly looked down by everyone because of his incompetence. He himself knows that he is better off dead.

 

Story

 

Okay, the only problem I have with you if you are reading a Wikia, is that you are getting the entire information as a whole, where as in the books, we are only given bits and pieces of information. With that being said, you could be nagging me about something that happened in book 3, when I'm talking about book 1. So that's my only beef with you reading the Wikia. Is that you are more than likely nagging me for something, when I'm talking about something else.

 

Aside from your childish tantrums Pikaperson (which I am willing to forgive you that is), I should say this aloud, but you are greatly underestimating me here!! You're talking about Frybread002 for crying out loud!!! Of course I know what I'm doing!!! Besides, it's in my title. Isn't it? I'm YCM's Local Indian Guide, it's my job to know these things!!

But you do have point when you said that you were bored with the character himself and that people could just read the book itself, since one of the goals that I want to do with this fan-fic, is draw people in who didn't read the book itself.

 

One of the ways that I wanted to achieve this, is to tell this Hunger Game through Journal Entries of the actual partcipant.

 

If you didn't know, within the universe of the Hunger Games, you could literally revist the location of a past Hunger Game and actually reenact a death or a scene. You could revisit the 40th Hunger Game as a tourist and see exactly what happened.

So it would make sense to have a museum dedicate to the Hunger Games only and to have replica weapons or whatever that the actual Tribute used. So what if, there was a Tribute, who recorded his time in the 23rd Hunger Game in a Journal?

 

Before I go any further, in all the history of District 12, there are only 4 winners of the Hunger Games, Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch, and a unknown women who is never named in the series. The only appearance she makes, is in the second book, Catching Fire, during the 75th Hunger Games, where Tributes are selected from past winners. This is the only section she is mentioned in, and all we do know, is that she died of old age (which is Katniss's involvement of the Querter Quell, or the 75th Hunger Game).

 

With this being said, what if this story was to be taken place during the same Hunger Game where that very same female tribute, won?

[Kōsuke Ueki]

I say go with it, Fry. Don't let anyone bring you down, or make you turn down things that might've already have happened in the story you are trying to tell. You know what I'm talking about Pika(Which I'll ignore for the time being)! If anyone likes your idea, expect them to support you, or just ignore them if they don't; and if they don't like it very well, just don't let anything they say that could turn down your original intentions of this story, make you think it's the right thing to. True, they might like it better if what they hated was replaced with something even better than expected, but that is only because it wouldn't be your choice; it would be all of the idiots who complain about how some things wouldn't work in your story, just because they want this story, YOUR story, to be what THEY want to be in order to enjoy it from start to finish, if you intend to do this story from beginning to end, that is.

 

But you already know all of that, don't you Fry? I'd assume so, since you are YCM's Local Indian Guide, after all. Anyway, I WILL be supporting this story to the best of my ability, so get out there, start writing, and hope for the best! :D

[Guest PikaPerson01]

While I'm here, is there anyone who can give me some tips/advice on describing monster summons in duels and what to use for non-dialogue in between speaking? This seems to be where I struggle most

I'm not quite sure what you mean, but some guy gave an example a bit earlier. To me, that sounds like a bit much. The fact that Trishula is an ice cold dragon and etc etc. Sure, it's cool and what not the first two or three times you see it, like if you were watching Digimon and you watched the whole 2 minute thing where Agumon digivolves. But after a bit it gets a little played out. If I were you, I wouldn't worry so much about describing monster summons and worry more about...

 

With that being said, given the fact that I've developed the characters as much as I have, I don't want to change the names or the cities or anything like that, because I feel like there are a lot of stories I want to see work out for them.

That. The plot, the characters, the setting. Work on those most and I'm sure you'll have a decent fic going on.

 

 

With that being said, you could be nagging me about something that happened in book 3, when I'm talking about book 1. So that's my only beef with you reading the Wikia. Is that you are more than likely nagging me for something, when I'm talking about something else.

I'm not nagging. I'm informing you that your story sounds like a "lite" or "abridged" version of the book you're basing it on. Most fanfic writers like to expand on their world, but its already been expanded as much as it will ever be by the writer. She wrote the Hunger Games were mostly the same for the first 75 years, and then Katnis and Peeta showed up and changed everything, and then there was an epilogue. There's very little in terms of expanding. You could fill in the blanks on the other stuff (the war with the 13th district) or try to push towards the future but overall... I don't think it'd work as well.

 

Aside from your childish tantrums Pikaperson

>Come to a public forum and ask for opinions on story idea

>Get upset when you receive opinions on story idea

 

But you do have point when you said that you were bored with the character himself

This is not a thing that I said.

 

one of the goals that I want to do with this fan-fic, is draw people in who didn't read the book itself.

What are the other goals of the fic? Because you could just write a review if you wanted to spread how awesome the book was.

 

If you didn't know, within the universe of the Hunger Games, you could literally revist the location of a past Hunger Game and actually reenact a death or a scene. You could revisit the 40th Hunger Game as a tourist and see exactly what happened.

That actually does sound interesting. I think I mentioned this somewhere, but if you can't manage to present an original idea (and it seems you can't) your next best bet would be to present an old idea in an original way ("Let's make a GX fic, but with teachers as the protagonists, instead of students!").

 

My only question would be when does this fic take place? Before the events of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd book or after.

 

With this being said, what if this story was to be taken place during the same Hunger Game where that very same female tribute, won?

It would have the same problems I stated before. It'd be the exact same story; Poor person. Joins the games. Develops as a character.

 

A quality fanfic expands on a story, not rehashes it.

 

I say go with it, Fry. Don't let anyone bring you down, or make you turn down things that might've already have happened in the story you are trying to tell. You know what I'm talking about Pika(Which I'll ignore for the time being)! If anyone likes your idea, expect them to support you, or just ignore them if they don't; and if they don't like it very well, just don't let anything they say that could turn down your original intentions of this story, make you think it's the right thing to.

This is the topic where we post story ideas and get feedback on them. If he didn't want people to give their opinions on his story idea he shouldn't have posted in a topic where people are required to give their opinions on story ideas.

 

Seriously now, don't be stupid.

[Guest Star]

So, you think that focusing on the monster development isn't as much of a necessity as the plot? Because I feel the same way. For example:

 

Stern focus. It was essential here. This guy's Deck was based on brute force' date=' whereas Ace had incorporated a strategy of sorts into his. Tyaro wasn't the only one who'd managed to acquire a Synchro monster; Ace had some of his own. And it was time to show this guy what he was all about.

 

"You can summon all the monsters you want," Ace revealed his card. "But your fire's about to be extinguished! I'll tune Fishborg Blaster with Royal Swamp Eel, to call upon a Synchro Monster of my own! Synchro Summon, Hydro Cannon Solider (ATK: 1700)!"

 

The two smaller creatures were absorbed in a swirling mass of water, as what could best be described as an aqua cyclone covered the entire area. The Flamvell monsters tried to shield themselves as best as possible as the cyclone cleared, and a large fish-like creature, sporting two white cannons, one on each shoulder, settled on the field.[/quote']

 

Is something like that efficient enough? I don't think the descriptions need to be huge every time.