The Pub at the Edge of the Multiverse ~ Fanfiction Public Planning Thread

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Eh, random-ish idea.

 

One sentence summary: A pair of ghost hunters duke it out with the paranormal in 1960's New York.

 

Longer-ish summary: Our protagonist, 29 year old Catherine Gibbs, begins by explaining the ins and outs of her trade, namely getting rid of ghosts. It's done in a more "traditional" style of hauntings, so don't come into the story expecting GhostBusters or anything like that.

 

She explores famous-ish New York landmarks, helping the dearly departed find out what "unfinished business" they need to settle, and she helps them resolve it.

 

At some point (either shortly before the story begins, or just after the first chapter) she decides she needs a partner. So she begins training [First Name Unknown] Prescott, a 22 year old male. He's a bit of a n00b or whatever in the whole ghost hunting, and he's sarcastic and such, but he's not incompetent. He quickly proves himself to be a helpful asset to Gibbs. Also, he's obscenely wealthy. While Catherine is in it for the money, Prescott is in it for the lulz.

 

Not all the ghosts Gibbs and Prescott encounter are particularly friendly, as we find out in the second chapter. There's also a bunch of rules as to how everything works. How to summon a ghost, why ghosts exist, how to make a place be not-haunted, how a ghost can possess someone, how to perform an exorcism, etc etc. I won't make any promises, but I'd do my best not to make it a random info dump.

 

The "story" isn't just one particular story. In fact, it's 4 separate cases Catherine took, each with their own beginning, middle, and end. They do sort of have their own natural progression, and I can assure you the Catherine we meet at the beginning of Chapter 1 isn't the same as the Catherine we meet at the end of Chapter 4.

 

So like... yeah. o_o

[Quiksilver]

I like how everyone just posts their ideas here and don't give out criticism to anyone else- at least, that's what everyone's been doing for the last 7 posts. >_>

 

who likes a pokemon new reigon fan fic

 

First of all, learn to spell correctly. Region is not spelled "reigon". Now, making a new Pokemon region in a fanfic is a risky idea, since, because in most new regions, new Pokemon would come with them. It would be a trial making people have to refer to a Pokedex or some other device for each new Pokemon that is introduced. When most people see "Pokemon fanfic", they naturally assume that they will be reading about Pokemon they already know about, not Pokemon they have never heard of; as such, it might disorient some people. Of course, this issue could be avoided by simply not including new Pokemon, but that would make it more of a new setting, not a new region.

 

My idea: a story about duel spirits in their world (NO CARD GAMES), starring the Karakuris. Main antagonist: Superancient Deepsea King Coelacanth.

 

Interesting enough. However, with no plot to speak of, I cannot give much advice. What will the Karakuris being doing during this time?

 

Thus Spake Zarathustra 2: Secret of the Ooze

 

 

I cannot make heads of tails of this statement. I actually searched Spake Zarathustra on Google, and came up with a length treatise of philosophy and morality. This makes literally no sense when combined with the second part, "Secret of the Ooze", and so, I cannot give advice on your fanfic idea without you elaborating further.

 

Eh, random-ish idea.

 

One sentence summary: A pair of ghost hunters duke it out with the paranormal in 1960's New York.

 

Longer-ish summary: Our protagonist, 29 year old Catherine Gibbs, begins by explaining the ins and outs of her trade, namely getting rid of ghosts. It's done in a more "traditional" style of hauntings, so don't come into the story expecting GhostBusters or anything like that.

 

She explores famous-ish New York landmarks, helping the dearly departed find out what "unfinished business" they need to settle, and she helps them resolve it.

 

At some point (either shortly before the story begins, or just after the first chapter) she decides she needs a partner. So she begins training [First Name Unknown] Prescott, a 22 year old male. He's a bit of a n00b or whatever in the whole ghost hunting, and he's sarcastic and such, but he's not incompetent. He quickly proves himself to be a helpful asset to Gibbs. Also, he's obscenely wealthy. While Catherine is in it for the money, Prescott is in it for the lulz.

 

Not all the ghosts Gibbs and Prescott encounter are particularly friendly, as we find out in the second chapter. There's also a bunch of rules as to how everything works. How to summon a ghost, why ghosts exist, how to make a place be not-haunted, how a ghost can possess someone, how to perform an exorcism, etc etc. I won't make any promises, but I'd do my best not to make it a random info dump.

 

The "story" isn't just one particular story. In fact, it's 4 separate cases Catherine took, each with their own beginning, middle, and end. They do sort of have their own natural progression, and I can assure you the Catherine we meet at the beginning of Chapter 1 isn't the same as the Catherine we meet at the end of Chapter 4.

 

So like... yeah. o_o

 

I actually quite like it. Refreshing, in fact, compared to all the Duel Academy rehashes we currently have on this site. I advise- no, I beg- you to make this story, I like it so much. A question though; what do you mean by traditional styles of hauntings, and how do they affect the story?

 

P.S. I love that you named the main character "Gibbs". <3

 

---

 

Alright, onto my own story. I was also thinking of a Pokemon fanfic I am going to do. However before you write this off as another wanna-be-Pokemon-master story, I wish to assure you my story will be quite different. It centers around a girl named Celeste, and a boy named Kyou. It turns out the Pokeworld is going to hell in a handbasket due to Trainers being unable to stop a new legendary (Name Unknown), who has begun to take over entire regions. This will take place in the near future of the current Pokeworld. People are panicking, the Elite Four are in disarray, etc., etc.

 

And so, seeking a solution, a girl named Fujihara Celeste (Names are in Japanese order- surname first) seeks out the Time Travel Pokemon Celebi, and asks her to send Celeste back in time, back to when Trainers and their exploits where legendary and were able to actually take down legendaries. Celeste wishes to rediscover the secrets of the past, and find a way to stop the threat destroying her world. Celebi agrees, on one condition; Celeste must not interfere with the past. And so, Celeste is sent into the past and decides to silently observe a Trainer known as Namoshiro Kyou, one of the greatest Trainers of all time. She watches him as he lives his life, and starts to write a Trainer's Guide based on his actions, to help the people in her time deal with the threat of their super-legendary.

 

Roughly half the story will have to do with Kyou's adventures, and the rest with how Celeste deals with her super-legendary. There will most likely be much drama, something along the lines of Celeste deciding to interfere with the past to save Kyou's life.

 

So...any thoughts on this story?

[Twig]

Alright, onto my own story. I was also thinking of a Pokemon fanfic I am going to do. However before you write this off as another wanna-be-Pokemon-master story, I wish to assure you my story will be quite different. It centers around a girl named Celeste, and a boy named Kyou. It turns out the Pokeworld is going to hell in a handbasket due to Trainers being unable to stop a new legendary (Name Unknown), who has begun to take over entire regions. This will take place in the near future of the current Pokeworld. People are panicking, the Elite Four are in disarray, etc., etc.

 

And so, seeking a solution, a girl named Fujihara Celeste (Names are in Japanese order- surname first) seeks out the Time Travel Pokemon Celebi, and asks her to send Celeste back in time, back to when Trainers and their exploits where legendary and were able to actually take down legendaries. Celeste wishes to rediscover the secrets of the past, and find a way to stop the threat destroying her world. Celebi agrees, on one condition; Celeste must not interfere with the past. And so, Celeste is sent into the past and decides to silently observe a Trainer known as Namoshiro Kyou, one of the greatest Trainers of all time. She watches him as he lives his life, and starts to write a Trainer's Guide based on his actions, to help the people in her time deal with the threat of their super-legendary.

 

Roughly half the story will have to do with Kyou's adventures, and the rest with how Celeste deals with her super-legendary. There will most likely be much drama, something along the lines of Celeste deciding to interfere with the past to save Kyou's life.

 

So...any thoughts on this story?

 

Region?

 

I'm wondering what you mean by "half the story will have to do with Kyou's adventures." Wouldn't that mean half of your story would be the usual Pokefic with an extra spice of time traveling stalkers?

[Quiksilver]

Region?

 

I'm wondering what you mean by "half the story will have to do with Kyou's adventures." Wouldn't that mean half of your story would be the usual Pokefic with an extra spice of time traveling stalkers?

 

It's Isshu for Kyou's part, and some shadowy, futuristic place that I don't feel like naming for Celeste's part.

 

Not quite. There will be a little bit of adventuring along the lines you are talking about, but Kyou won't even make it to the Pokemon League...he gets caught up in some events that change things quite dramatically! (I'm not going to discuss them at this time, don't want to ruin the fun after all! :D) But basically, Celeste decided to "stalk" Kyou due to the fact he is one of the few people to defeat a legendary like the one ravaging her world. However, if the unaltered timeline, Kyou sacrifices his life to defeat the legendary Pokemon. Celeste becomes attached to Kyou and alters the timeline, saving him from the jaws of death. This action has some...er...interesting effects.

[Guest PikaPerson01]

A question though; what do you mean by traditional styles of hauntings, and how do they affect the story?

 

Err... traditional as in, they hang around old buildings or the old stuff they liked (like pictures or w/e) when they were still alive and they mess with the living. No Danny Phantoms. No GhostBusters. No ridiculous over the top anime weapons and hadukoens or science fiction weapons.

 

I dunno, I've seen a lot of odd takes on ghosts in my time. The only way they get through to the ghosts is by using their wits and talking to them, since their line of work is supposed to be to help them, after all.

 

As for affecting the story, it's episodic and character driven, so while the ghosts won't have any direct effect once they've crossed over to the other side, they're sure to have an effect on Catherine and Luke (that's what I decided to name [First Name] Prescott in the end). However there will most likely be an overarching story that gets explored as time goes on, leading up to the big anti-climactic ending.

 

I'm still having trouble starting it however. <_< I've got plenty of ideas and odd little clues to sprinkle in here and there and what not, I have just about all the major ghosts planned out, the biggest issue is just getting words on the paper... or laptop screen, as it might be.

 

I suppose since tomorrow is my last final I'd have more time to work on it as time goes on, though I'm kind of already working on a fic I'd like finish soon enough.

 

---

 

Celebi agrees, on one condition; Celeste must not interfere with the past.

 

How does she know? Celebi's not much of a talker, and any "old kooky mystic" or something could be lying, mistaken, or insane. Then again, I suppose that might kind of be the point to it. Perhaps she IS supposed to screw around with time, or certain sections of it at least.

 

Overall, I just personally dislike using Time Travel as a plot thing. For the following two reasons! =D

 

a) It cuts tension a bit if you have access to Time Travel. The only way to slightly increase tension would be to make the Time Travel limited, but then it goes from being not-tension to being annoying... in my opinion.

 

B) The whole "split timeline" thing sounds like it could get needlessly complicated. I dunno, in fiction I always perfer my time travel to be a closed time loop, in that "any actions taken by a time traveler were part of history all along, so it is impossible for the time traveler to "change" history in any way."

 

Introducing multiple parallel dimensions would then seem to imply that the story we happend to follow was just the "wrong" parallel dimension should things go awry, as opposed to just having one true ending. Yeah yeah, I know it actually does go against basic already pre-established scientific theories and all but... yeah.

 

It's just a personal thing, and you probably shouldn't worry so much about trying to appease every single random scumbag reading your story.

 

So like... yeah. o_o

[Quiksilver]

How does she know? Celebi's not much of a talker, and any "old kooky mystic" or something could be lying, mistaken, or insane. Then again, I suppose that might kind of be the point to it. Perhaps she IS supposed to screw around with time, or certain sections of it at least.

 

Overall, I just personally dislike using Time Travel as a plot thing. For the following two reasons! =D

 

a) It cuts tension a bit if you have access to Time Travel. The only way to slightly increase tension would be to make the Time Travel limited, but then it goes from being not-tension to being annoying... in my opinion.

 

B) The whole "split timeline" thing sounds like it could get needlessly complicated. I dunno, in fiction I always perfer my time travel to be a closed time loop, in that "any actions taken by a time traveler were part of history all along, so it is impossible for the time traveler to "change" history in any way."

 

Introducing multiple parallel dimensions would then seem to imply that the story we happend to follow was just the "wrong" parallel dimension should things go awry, as opposed to just having one true ending. Yeah yeah, I know it actually does go against basic already pre-established scientific theories and all but... yeah.

 

It's just a personal thing, and you probably shouldn't worry so much about trying to appease every single random scumbag reading your story.

 

So like... yeah. o_o

 

Actually, I think you're right. I've thought long and hard about this subject, and I feel like things- mainly the whole future plotline- are cutting into the real story I wanted to tell, i.e. that of Celeste and Kyou. It's all becoming too complicated, and on the whole, is not shaping up the way I wanted. Ehh, I think I'm going to chuck the plot entirely. However! By no means consider my desire to create a laudable Pokefic vanquished!

 

But anyways. You said that to get through the ghosts you had to talk to them yes? Won't that affect the "angry ghosts" thing you were talking about earlier? That is, since it seems like at this point humans have no defenses against rampaging ghosts besides that of talking them through their pain, wouldn't that give ghosts an advantage over the ghost-hunting team?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Actually, I think you're right. I've thought long and hard about this subject, and I feel like things- mainly the whole future plotline- are cutting into the real story I wanted to tell, i.e. that of Celeste and Kyou. It's all becoming too complicated, and on the whole, is not shaping up the way I wanted.

 

Well, the whole Time Travel-ey stuff is just a framing device, is it not? You could possibly move it a bit. Celeste lives in a time of horrifying Pokemons, but she's heard legends of Captain Awesome, Kyou, who fought a legendary Pokemon and lived? to tell the tale. She randomly discovers his fanfic/diary/log book and begins reading it.

 

Rather then being all of Kyou's adventure, then all of Celeste's adventures, she reads (and the audience reads) his story at the same time Celeste's is going on. The climax of both stories occurs at around the same time. References to parts in Kyou's adventure are picked up in Celeste's. "Every decent trainer should plant a tree, and I planted mine near [some random city]." Celeste stumbles upon it the next chapter.

 

 

 

That is, since it seems like at this point humans have no defenses against rampaging ghosts besides that of talking them through their pain, wouldn't that give ghosts an advantage over the ghost-hunting team?

Precisely! o_o

 

 

On an unrelated note, I've decided to give it a go, to try getting as much down on paper as I thought would be necessary but... for some unfamiliar reason, I'm having two problems:

 

a) Actually starting it. <_<

B) I want the story to have sufficient length. Since it is episodic (as I mentioned... somewhere) I'm having trouble writing down a decent number of "case files" for it.

 

I suppose it being episodic would help me cut through the first one (since I could start just about anywhere and then work around it) but... eh, just a personal thing. I like to write it in the order that my audience would read it. <_<

 

For the second problem, I'd be willing to listen to any ideas. Though I'd kind of prefer for them to be PM-ed, for two reasons. To maintain the surprise (after all, it does have elements of a mystery, since the "mystery" is what their unfinished business would be) and also to not completely monopolize this thread with my stuff. So yeah, if you need a template of what is good to send me;

 

The name of the victim/ghost, their unfinished business, the circumstances of their death, and any other relevant information (age, height, gender etc etc).

 

Originality is a plus, but not mandatory. Remember, this is 1960's-ish New York so nothing too out there, but don't feel discouraged to send ideas my way anyway if the plot requires Halo 3 or an electric car or a war that hasn't happened yet. It may be used later down the road for something else.

 

And yes, you'll receive full credit for such and such. *nods and nods*

[Quiksilver]

Well, the whole Time Travel-ey stuff is just a framing device, is it not? You could possibly move it a bit. Celeste lives in a time of horrifying Pokemons, but she's heard legends of Captain Awesome, Kyou, who fought a legendary Pokemon and lived? to tell the tale. She randomly discovers his fanfic/diary/log book and begins reading it.

 

Rather then being all of Kyou's adventure, then all of Celeste's adventures, she reads (and the audience reads) his story at the same time Celeste's is going on. The climax of both stories occurs at around the same time. References to parts in Kyou's adventure are picked up in Celeste's. "Every decent trainer should plant a tree, and I planted mine near [some random city]." Celeste stumbles upon it the next chapter.

 

 

I actually really like that idea. + Rep for you!

 

Do not worry, if I use this idea I will give you full credit for it. But, yes, it is quite a nice idea indeed...Well. I did have a Team Rocket-centric Pokefic set up, but I like this idea much better. :D And by the way, everyone assumes he's dead...but he might not be...

 

 

Precisely! o_o

 

 

On an unrelated note, I've decided to give it a go, to try getting as much down on paper as I thought would be necessary but... for some unfamiliar reason, I'm having two problems:

 

a) Actually starting it. <_<

B) I want the story to have sufficient length. Since it is episodic (as I mentioned... somewhere) I'm having trouble writing down a decent number of "case files" for it.

 

I suppose it being episodic would help me cut through the first one (since I could start just about anywhere and then work around it) but... eh, just a personal thing. I like to write it in the order that my audience would read it. <_<

 

For the second problem, I'd be willing to listen to any ideas. Though I'd kind of prefer for them to be PM-ed, for two reasons. To maintain the surprise (after all, it does have elements of a mystery, since the "mystery" is what their unfinished business would be) and also to not completely monopolize this thread with my stuff. So yeah, if you need a template of what is good to send me;

 

The name of the victim/ghost, their unfinished business, the circumstances of their death, and any other relevant information (age, height, gender etc etc).

 

Originality is a plus, but not mandatory. Remember, this is 1960's-ish New York so nothing too out there, but don't feel discouraged to send ideas my way anyway if the plot requires Halo 3 or an electric car or a war that hasn't happened yet. It may be used later down the road for something else.

 

And yes, you'll receive full credit for such and such. *nods and nods*

 

Actually I do have a couple of ideas surrounding this. I'll Pm you with the info.

[StichedBloodAlpha]

Uh I want to make a Yu-Gi-Oh 5D'S fic (well in the 5D's time) but I'm out of ideas, what I have so far are just two characters who attend the Duel Acadamy, one a freshman and the other a senior, both are boys and the freshman, Shuto is his name, is the main protagainist and he's the only one who has any real backround; his story is that his parents were murdered and he fell into the care of a wolf pack (yeah I figured i'd give him an interesting little story to tell.) which was soon hunted down and killed. He was found by an employee of the company who makes Duel Monsters (whoever runs that business in 5d's) and recieved a custom deck based off the wolves in his previous family, on another trait for him he's also has potential to be a Pyshic Duelist which will let him interact with his monsters who, like I said before, are his wolf pack family.

 

So does anyone have any ideas that can help me out here?

[Twig]

Uh I want to make a Yu-Gi-Oh 5D'S fic (well in the 5D's time) but I'm out of ideas, what I have so far are just two characters who attend the Duel Acadamy, one a freshman and the other a senior, both are boys and the freshman, Shuto is his name, is the main protagainist and he's the only one who has any real backround; his story is that his parents were murdered and he fell into the care of a wolf pack (yeah I figured i'd give him an interesting little story to tell.) which was soon hunted down and killed. He was found by an employee of the company who makes Duel Monsters (whoever runs that business in 5d's) and recieved a custom deck based off the wolves in his previous family, on another trait for him he's also has potential to be a Pyshic Duelist which will let him interact with his monsters who, like I said before, are his wolf pack family.

 

So does anyone have any ideas that can help me out here?

 

How did he find the wolves? Were they just in the city? Or maybe your setting isn't New Domino City or the Satellite?

 

If you're doing the Duel Academy, please skip the entrance exam. You also need a conflict. Is that what you're asking for?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

1: How old was he when his parents were murdered and he fell into a wolf pack?

 

2: How old was he when he was discovered?

 

 

The only way I could really see the fic working would be if it were all played tongue-in-cheek. Like, he was raised by wolves, but that's actually just the punchline and set up to a bunch of jokes or something. I suppose you could make him a savage, wildman kind of guy, but it would be remarkably difficult to do.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, I am that idjit kid writing that fat GX fan fic we all see randomly and never read. I'm just going to test the waters with this thing here in SEASON THREE, but what could I do to make Yubel the absolute worst complete monster you can get (until a spiritual rebirth and new morals for the fourth season)?

 

I have quite a few things set up in place already:

 

1. She, through a complicated manner of events already set in motion since around episode 16, can manipulate her own form, size and composition, efficiently making her close to an omnipotent being. She still can take over bodies, but in order to do so she either needs to place her entire body into them or send a piece of her flesh (or a miniaturized version of herself) into others to act as a medium. She can control an entire school's worth of children.

 

2. When Jaden found her as a boy through some sort of event, she has already piled up a body count of a few other small children all because she can. She has her homicidal tendencies put in place during the stupid explanation of how she got to be the vassal of the Supreme King (which she doesn't give a rat's butt about).

 

3. She abuses Jaden in the worst possible way: she hurts everybody else close to him, causing him to begin distancing himself from others, and then commands him to follow her will with every action. Resistance means terrible retribution. And it's hard to escape a ghost, especially one who wants you to suffer in such a perverse way.

 

The loss of free will, which makes us who we are, is truly mortifying.

 

4. She dies. Her spirit was imbued into Jaden just before death, which acts as essentially a Moral Reset Button. It seems as if it's a punishment to have Jaden live with his worst fear inside of his own body, and yet she has no previous memories and re-learns everything to become a force for goodness and cherry pie and the american way! It's hokey but it has to work for the story to work! And people may be upset if I just kill her off!

 

Maybe I should continue to conceive and formulate these ideas, but that's the main thingsness. Does anybody have any civilized ideas or comments?

 

And I think I can work such a horror-based idea into my humorous plot to show how diversified my talents can be (?). I don't think that the tone will be an issue.

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Well, I am that idjit kid writing that fat GX fan fic we all see randomly and never read.

 

Never heard of it. >_>

 

And I think I can work such a horror-based idea into my humorous plot to show how diversified my talents can be (?).

 

In my humble opinion, horror and comedy don't work well together, especially if something was comedic and lighthearted for the most part. To suddenly becoming horrifying would alienate your current loyal fans.

 

I suppose the best possible way of doing it would be to make her acts so ridiculous and over the top to work well.

 

Also, if it's just pretty much based on GX, you could probably borrow cues from the actual season, I suppose.

[StichedBloodAlpha]

@Getting Twiggy With It: He finds the wolves like at a forest near a different town and is taken to New Domino, as for a conflict, I guess it's somewhere along the lines of like he's trying to live like a normal person but he has that whole "he dosen't know how to talk and/or deal with people" kinda thing.

 

@Amphoteric: He's was around age two or three, haven't thougt much of details but that sounds right, when his parents were murdered and found by wolves, as for being found by another person...I'd say at the age of 8, unless that sounds like a weird for an age. For how he starts out he is kind of a quiet kid just doing whatever anyone told him to do, he does occasinaly do wolf stuff like howl or has a more keener sense of smell and/or hearing.

 

The details are fuzzy cause I can't think of much really (damn writer's block) the only progress I have is making a new female character to add to his friends.

[bury the year]

Okay. If you're going to do wolf-pack-raising, please don't play it straight. First of all, a kid probably wouldn't be raised - he'd be eaten. Therefore, there'd better be some pretty damn good explanation for why the kid survived in the first place. Second, being away from human contact will give him some major social interaction issues, e.g. being unable to comprehend modern customs/technologies. Think of that. Also, I doubt he'd be quiet if he was raised by a wolf pack - in fact, wouldn't he be more aggressive?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Taking a wild animal and trying to treat it like a human will most likely not be met with a quiet resolve and shyness.

 

You'd be better off playing it off as a joke than anything.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Never heard of it. >_>

 

 

 

In my humble opinion, horror and comedy don't work well together, especially if something was comedic and lighthearted for the most part. To suddenly becoming horrifying would alienate your current loyal fans.

 

I suppose the best possible way of doing it would be to make her acts so ridiculous and over the top to work well.

 

Also, if it's just pretty much based on GX, you could probably borrow cues from the actual season, I suppose.

 

HOLY CRAP, SO NOBODY PAYS ATTENTION TO 'YU-GI-OH! GX! THE FAN FIC' WITH 64 CHAPTERS AND COUNTING?!

 

I see where you're coming from with the 'horror and comedy don't mix' thing, but I truly don't have any inkling of desire to abandon my humor at any point, I just want to see how horrible a character I can create in order to see how to build a character that everybody HAS to hate. It's pretty much an experiment, along with the purposefully thrown-in Mary Sue lady added in season two for LITERALLY no needed reason.

 

Well, really, this entire story, if it covers all four seasons, will be an excellent excersise for somebody who wants to write for television and such (heh). Season one was testing the waters by seeing what I could do sporadically. The second one is for me to see if I can actually come up with interesting, quirky people with depth, like that goofball Cocoa Titan. Season three? Maybe it can teach me how to elicit emotions from readers! Depth! If it's possible for anybody to care that long. And then season four, which was really only half a season, will be my exercise to test if I can actually build my own story.

 

Darn, do I ramble.

 

But anyways, that's all the reasoning I can muster. Questions? Comments? Suggestions related to Yubel?

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Two advices for Weather Machine:

If the character is too horrifying or cruel, reader sympathy actually grows -- anything worse than Johann Anderson has to be completely insane and not accountable for their actions. If you're trying to make the most unsympathetic character ever, don't make them too horrible, because then the reader will simply plead insanity for them.

Crushing arrogance and disdain for the universe is probably the least sympathetic character trait ever, as Liar Game has proven. And I think that Yubel, in her Yandere-ness, can definitely be spun into that terrible arrogance if you're out to make her the most unsympathetic character EVAR.

[CrystalCyae]

Ummm..... I've started a fic, and I just wanted to know, does it sound cool? The plot, I mean.

 

Ages ago, so goddess came to earth and took on the form of a human girl, Alisa, She travels to defend herself across the land, then gets murdered at the end by her "friend" Zahlia. The end is explained in the prologue. Nothing else. It's not important at my current position in the story.

 

Presently, our main charcater, Aslynn, is being read the story, along with her class mates. When she goes home, she plans to meet with her friends at the Ice Cream Shop.

 

She and her friends are going to encounter a strange person when they go to the park later, and then things get complicated.

 

It turns out the past is suddenly coming back, so Zahlia, albeit modernized, appears from the story, along with villans from various tales that I'm making up. And only the powers of a certain someone can destroy the villans.

[Guest PikaPerson01]

If you're trying to make the most unsympathetic character ever, don't make them too horrible, because then the reader will simply plead insanity for them.

 

I disagree. Making them over the top insane and violent could be funny, to some degree. Punching a dude in the face once might be mean. Punching him a million times with a Super Street Fighter-style combo, and finishing it with a Haduken or w/e it's called, then stealing his candy would be funny.

 

 

Ages ago, so goddess came to earth and took on the form of a human girl, Alisa, She travels to defend herself across the land, then gets murdered at the end by her "friend" Zahlia. The end is explained in the prologue. Nothing else. It's not important at my current position in the story.

 

Why did Goddess girl come to earth and take the form of a human girl?

 

It turns out the past is suddenly coming back,

 

Why is the past suddenly coming back?

 

I suppose you could center the story around Zahlia, like she's the reason Goddess Girl comes to Earth. She'd have to be pretty powerful to defeat a Goddess though, I should think.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Two advices for Weather Machine:

If the character is too horrifying or cruel, reader sympathy actually grows -- anything worse than Johann Anderson has to be completely insane and not accountable for their actions. If you're trying to make the most unsympathetic character ever, don't make them too horrible, because then the reader will simply plead insanity for them.

Crushing arrogance and disdain for the universe is probably the least sympathetic character trait ever, as Liar Game has proven. And I think that Yubel, in her Yandere-ness, can definitely be spun into that terrible arrogance if you're out to make her the most unsympathetic character EVAR.

Hm hm hm... I'm seeing where you're coming from... the inspiration is working... thanks for your reply! It's much more helpful than I'd anticipated! Crushing arrogance, got it! Time to check out some source material...

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Kicks pub doors open and serves self a drink. Ruins the image by drinking lemonade.

 

As you may or not be aware, depending on how much attention you pay to status updates and signitures, I've begun writing my first fanfic. I've already written the first few chapters. Damn I wish I'd noticed this thread sooner. Because I do not want it to 'suck' thought I'd better come in here and pilot it.

 

Setting: Long after the events of 5D's, the story is mostly set in a large castle city. The city is technologically advanced, but the buildings and some traditions are quite old-fasioned (think Lindblum from Final Fantasy 9). There is a huge wealth divide between the palace and rich boroughs in the middle of the city, and the slums on the outskirts. This city is the capital of the empire.

 

Concept: 5 years ago, the Emperor outlawed duel monsters, for fear of an uprising to his rule, and had the top duelists hunted down and arrested/hanged. Now the people are made to suffer in oppression. A group of strangers meet up under coincidental circumstances and join forces to rebel for freedom from the Empire. There are duel spirits involved too.

 

Characters: There are so far maybe a dozen characters set to appear in the first section of this story, and I am being conscious of introducing them steadily.

 

My main problems so far:

 

1 - A suitable name and mission for the main baddie.

2 - A suitable deck for the main rival/Chazz-esque character.

3 - My chapters - although arguably pacey - are too damn short!

4 - I know how I want to end the first part of the story, with the baddie revealing himself and the heroes being forced to run, but have not figured out how to get from A to B.

5 - A couple of the characters use small archtypes that need more cards. I assume custom cards results in death.

 

Go nuts (although I'm sure an invitation wasn't necessary).

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

That story sounds awesome, so with the help of Seventh Sanctum, I have some suggestions for you.

It sounds like a really cool series; I wouldn't mind co-writing or beta reading if it'd help with chapter length and such. Just make sure you proofread carefully.

 

1) Mine idea of a villain is Sesaron, a cold-blooded villain with a secret plot to conquer a plot of sacred, mystical land (probably where the Imperial Palace is). To this end, he manipulates the mad sage Alatir, who believes he is a prophesied Messiah sent to cleanse the world of the wickedness and opulence of the Empire; the Duel Spirit Beliciel (whichever monster you'd like, or a custom one), who secretly communes with the Emperor's Erwin Rommel, Hamaguchi Saiko; and even the Emperor's own viciously loyal chief bodyguard, whom you've almost certainly already named/created (via tipoffs and such).

The nice thing about Sesaron, Alatir, Beliciel, and Saiko is that you can take them in a lot of different directions and make them as sympathetic or unsympathetic as you please. Sesaron could be a Magnificent Bastard who eventually gives up on his plan and helps eliminate wickedness by becoming a benevolent emperor, or he could be a malevolent servant of an Eldritch Abomination, or he could be a psychopathic Smug Snake even worse than the Emperor. Alatir could have a point, or he could be completely insane and utterly depraved, or he could be a cold cult leader out for his own power -- and you can kill him off whenever you please. Plus, mad-sage enemies are always nice for introducing evil Duel Spirits and other otherworldly creatures. Beliciel could be a Puck-style trickster, or a peaceful heroine seeking to prevent bloodshed (my personal impression), or the servant of a peasant that Saiko secretly admires, or even a Ryuk-style malevolent guide. Saiko could be as sympathetic as the real Erwin Rommel, or she could be a cold-blooded hero killer out for power. You can kill her off early, or use her as a Sacrificial Lion like the real Rommel, or have her survive and serve the next, benevolent Emperor/Empress. I tried to leave you a lot of freedom to develop the story as you wish here, since I put a little too much energy into Yuka and wound up making the whole character.

 

2) Our Chazz-expy isn't actually a Chazz-expy at all -- she's Yuka Murayama (村山遊火 for epic pun and YGOism), a HOT-BLOODED Jaden-ish girl who, depending on the main character's personality and your world's mechanics, a) treats the main character as a Chazz-expy. B) thinks that THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE, c) desperately misunderstands the main character (we ARE struggling together!), or d) is being deceived/threatened by the Empire itself. Nevertheless, she serves as the main character's rival much as Chazz, Kaiba, and Jack did. Though she and the main character snipe at each other mercilessly early on, a deep bond of respect forms between them later, and they eventually fight side-by-side as comrades against Sesaron and the empire. Ship teases between her and the main character abound, but nothing comes of it in the end and she finds someone else, though a sizable faction of shippers remains (I needn't say that gender is irrelevant).

She's a nice twist on the usual YGO rival -- and main character. I figure it's an RPM-style reference to and subversion of two of the series's tropes. Hope you like, 'cuz she's her own character now, and I can't really change her. She's a very 'take-it-or-leave-it' package (though honestly, my prediction of her role pretty much comes with the archetype).

 

3) The story sounds epic, so I wouldn't mind editing or even co-writing if you're struggling with chapter length. Just make sure you proofread carefully.

 

4) See 3.

 

5) All three real YGOs have tons of custom cards. Don't be afraid. If push comes to shove, I can see if I remember enough OCG to make some cards for you.

 

 

That's my help. Good luck with the story, whether you take it or leave it.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Wow thank you for that feedback Gamester. I love Yuka, she would be a good character. The thing is I already have two established females in my party of 5, throwing another in there would be an awkward group dynamic.

 

As for co-writing, I appreciate the offer but would prefer to do the actual writing myself, I know I asked for some help and I'm kinda rejecting now, I guess I just wanted some feedback on the idea and any thoughts and stuff.

 

I have sorted the majority of my probs now, so will get moving with writing and hopefully put it up soon. Thanks for the help.

 

Hope it gets more responses than this post had. :P

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

 

But 2 males/3 females is a pretty balanced gender ratio IMO. :/ Then again, I'm used to series with 2 males/50 females and 2 males/108+ females, so... IDK, just seems a little sexist IMO? Eh, ignore me.

 

I guess she also works as a guy if you're willing to come up with a guy's HOT BLOODED name that includes the "Yuu" character.

 

Can't wait to read~ Also, remember I can beta read/edit as necessary. Just PM me.

 

I wanna write Yuka into ARDA now.