The Pub at the Edge of the Multiverse ~ Fanfiction Public Planning Thread

[Catterjune]

If I may quote Yahtzee from zero punctuation...

 

"In my F.E.A.R 2 review, I made the point that government super soldier projects were a flawed premise because any death machine with free will will inevitably notice that there's something iffy about taking orders from cabals of aging generals when they can beat bears to death from across the room with only their prostates."

 

But I'd probably disagree with him when he says:

"If super powers are to be had, giving them to random passerbys seems as good a system as any."

 

No, kidnapping a random dude and making him your super soldier is a terrible idea. Whoever kidnapped him would probably wanna use someone who already shared their ideals, so memory scrubbing and w/e wasn't necessary.

 

I supposed the plan could be that the Black Team made a super soldier first, then the White Team kidnapped him and brainwashed him. Really raises the point of paying evil unto evil, and if the ends really justify the means, and which side was really right or wrong in the end.

 

But then it kind of feels annoying that they worship "light and darkness". So damn cliched. Honestly, making them anything else would be a hundred times better.

 

... In my opinion.

[Aesirson]

All your points are valid and I see what you mean.

 

I agree that light and darkness is cliché, but they need to have conflicting ideals or else the story I got thought out won't work if the religions doesn't conflict. I guess I could just make the two gods that are worshipped hate eachother and that carries over to the worshippers.

 

And your point about super soldiers is also very valid. Crossfire is a neutral faction who just wants the war to end, and since Sol doesn't have any memories when he ends up with them, it's easy for them to lead him to believe that both of the religions are wrong.

 

I think that could work...

 

EDIT: And also, Solomon originally worshipped one of the gods, volunteered to be the test subject for the super soldier project but while he was being mixtured with he was "kidnapped" by the other religion extremists, who then made their own changes, including the memory erasure. His body then gets kidnapped AGAIN, and ends up at Crossfire, where he wakes up and doesn't remember anything.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

All your points are valid and I see what you mean.

 

And your point about super soldiers is also very valid.

 

Any point Pika makes is probably valid.

[Aesirson]

True dat.

 

Anyway, I had this new idea about the two religions. One of them worship Order and the other one Chaos. Now you might be screaming "Obviously Order is good and Chaos is bad and it's very similar to Light vs Darkness!" but the idea is that neither of them is good or bad.

 

Order wants no crime or anything (not that Chaos encourages crime) and will actually sentence any criminal to slavery (yes, slavery) or death. They do also have a curfew, it is forbidden to be outside during the "holy hours" (which is night) to prevent unappropriate behaviour that cannot be overseen. But at the same time, all followers of Order are equal. Exceptions exists in the Emperor, although he cannot do any major changes to laws and governments that has not been democratically approved by the followers of Order, and people sentenced to slavery, who are seen as heretics. Slaves can be given freedom again if a certain time passes or if he does something that majorly benefits Order as a whole.

 

Meanwhile, Chaos is more scientific than Order. In the world of chemistry and physics, entropy symbolizes energy and power. Chaos believes in freedom, and their laws are a lot more loose than Order's. There's no death sentence in Chaos as they believe all people have a role to play and that the religious leaders of Chaos have no right to interfere in their god's great act. Chaos goes by hierarchy, with the Patriarch and Matriarch at the top, then the Priests, then the Soldiers and then the Civilians. Everyone within these ranks are free to do whatever he wants as long as it doesn't contradict an order given by someone from a higher caste. The names of the castes, except in the case of the Matriarch and Patriarch, does not have to have anything to do with the individual's job. Someone from the Soldier caste can still work at the café around the corner, and most people from the Priest caste are scientists.

 

Comments and/or suggestions on this?

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

So I'm in a bit of a bind as to choosing whether to continue my current fan-fic, Strike of the Heavens, or start a new one over from scratch. Since I am getting close to the end of Strike of the Heavens, I came to the conclusion that I needed to retain my standing here in the fan-fic community, whether it be starting a new fan-fic or starting up on my old one. If I continue Strike of the Heavens, then I am afraid my posts will become less frequent, as I will take more time to update my outlines and chapters, thinking of new plots and sub-plots to go along with the already amazing characters and enriched storyline (if we ever get to the final Chapter in the near future).

 

However, I was also thinking of a new Yugioh Fanfic that I could also begin writing as well. I don't have a title for it yet, but the plot is that a corrupt organization has captured the best duelists from around the entire world (non-canon) and forced them to Duel in Championship style arena-combat, with virtually no chance of escape. One Duelist however (named undecided, but I think I am going with a male character as the main protagonist) rises above all the slandering of the television shows, the hype of the crowds, and the difficulties surmounting the arena-style combat.

 

What is different from this fan-fic and other Yugioh Fan-fics are the Duels. Instead of one character having one specific Deck, before each round, the players are given a certain Attribute or Type of Deck that they will use in the match, and this will vary from match to match. I admit that I have fallen into the Trap that my main characters for my current fan-fic show no Deck Progression and like their Decks almost as much as they love Dueling, but I feel with this, I am breaking that barrier and showing that a real Duelist knows how to adapt and maintain their strategy, even when they have no idea what kind of Deck they are using or what they are going up against.

 

Eventually, the main character rises up through the ranks and starts dueling more and more people that he cares about. Secretly inside, he wants to escape with a female sidekick (name undecided, this is where you guys come in) that he falls in love with (cliche, I know), but he will have to take down the man behind the scenes of every shot, Adalberto (Italian for Nobility). I haven't quite exactly forged the plot yet, but I have a pretty good idea of where I need to start and get this one going. It might be shorter than most fan-fics, but it will have a lot of plot development and a lot of Dueling, two key things behind every fan-fic on here.

 

Comments and suggestions appreciated.

[Catterjune]

What's the point of them being a religion? I can't imagine a religion having enough money or w/e to fund a secret underground war. I mean, maybe if you had a lot of cheeky social commentary about the nature of religion or something it might be worth it... but I'd imagine it be exceedingly difficult to do or to get across in the way you expected. I was under the impression that this was just the "real world", but with a few minor changes. And two new religions would very much change the course of history. If they've been at each other's throats for the past hundred years or past thousand years the world and society as a whole would be very different.

 

It takes a lot of time for a religion to rise and gather enough money and followers and be a powerful enough superpower to start up a war or something. If anything, they should prolly just be something like two competing research companies or something. Maybe a pharmacy company and a robotics company? Phamacy people wanna "heal" people to BEYOND THE BEYOND! and robotics company wants to replace people entirely with cold hard robotics. Hilariously, our protagonist is a mix of the two.

 

And for god's sake, change their names and backstory. Yeah, I know you intend them both to be shades of gray, but people will naturally assume that Order is good and Chaos is bad, and will root for Order regardless. If you want them to be neutral sides, then give them neutral names and neutral but different ideologies.

 

Having 3 factions in the story all at each others throat sounds like it would be needlessly complicated. Red Team nautrally hates Blue Team, but if the Purple Team is also screwing with them they'll have to fight them eventually too.

 

If it were me, it would just be red versus blue, and our protagonist as the "wild card" inbetween the two who's just trying to end the war. Having a whole organization behind him gives him too much power and makes it less tense and all that.

 

... In my opinion.

 

So I'm in a bit of a bind as to choosing whether to continue my current fan-fic, Strike of the Heavens, or start a new one over from scratch.

If I ever finished pretending to write my terrible ghost story I don't think I'd continue it or work on a sequel or something until I was 100 percent sure I had a decent enough sequel idea.

 

Basically, don't plan on "should I continue this?" when you're not even done with the first one. And after a bit of time, if you feel this story needs continuation go ahead and continue it. But if your characters already got their "happy ending" and can't really grow as protagonists and are already super duper powerful, I wouldn't recommend it. Maybe if you feel a sequel is necessary, try a reboot or sorts with a younger and trendier cast, with the original protagonists taking a backseat and just being the "quiet mentor" type to our new group. And for fans of the past series have the old protagonists meet up to take down some minor boss or something.

 

I don't have a title for it yet, but the plot is that a corrupt organization has captured the best duelists from around the entire world (non-canon) and forced them to Duel in Championship style arena-combat, with virtually no chance of escape.

Why?

 

... Who would condone this? I know a bit later it's implied they're doing it for a TV show, but wouldn't it be incredibly difficult to keep this a secret? The best duelists in the world would, naturally, be pro-league people or famous people or something so having the world class duelist John Jackson mysteriously disappear, and then suddenly a new TV series comes on the air staring a guy named Jack Johnson who looks remarkably similar to John Jackson would pretty obviously raise a red flag.

 

Like... society as a whole would have to massively change. If, in real life, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Rihanna and whoever else is famous suddenly disappeared and then a new show where they fight each other to the death came up (on VH1, naturally) the only way someone wouldn't report it would be if society was really screwed up or if it was some way way deep secret underground kind of stuff.

 

A TV show of famous people fighting each other wouldn't work in our world, so if their world is similar, a TV show of duelists dueling wouldn't work either.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

 

Like... society as a whole would have to massively change. If, in real life, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Rihanna and whoever else is famous suddenly disappeared and then a new show where they fight each other to the death came up (on VH1, naturally) the only way someone wouldn't report it would be if society was really screwed up or if it was some way way deep secret underground kind of stuff.

 

 

This made me laugh (not the bold part, just the Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, and Rihanna thing).

 

However, it does make sense, but the way that I am molding is that there is a secret, underground madman who is behind the mysterious disappearances of these Duelists, but no one knows for sure who is doing it (well, besides the Duelists who are captured) or where they are doing it from. Maybe from the ruins of an old Industrial Illusions professor (not going Nesbitt on here or anything, because it is supposed to be non-canon) who is bent on making other people miserable and has thus crafted a television show where some of the best duelists of our time fight in arena battles? Like I said, I haven't exactly perfected it, but shooting suggestions my way is always appreciated.

[Aesirson]

I get your points, Pika, and I've decided to scrap the religion ideas. The underground war is now between to rival companies, although something even shadier is going on behind one of them.

 

@Devil's Advocate: Couldn't the story take place in the Virtual World or something? That way, even if the police tracked down where they were sending the show from the people themselves could be locked in pods a long way from there. Other than that, it seams like a pretty good idea and I think I would actually bother reading it ;D

[Catterjune]

If it's superdy duper secret and underground, how could he host a tv show about it?

 

Honestly, an internet show or something works far better then a TV show for secret underground.

 

And even then, the show can't be live since there's nothing from stopping a duelist to look at the camera and yell "HELP! WE'RE BEING HELD UNDERGROUND!" and all that stuff.

 

I guess... ultimately what's the motivation of... everyone here?

 

The final villain doesn't need much motivation right now. But the rest most certainly do. One guy in charge of Britney and Gaga would be a problem, so he clearly needs a whole slew of other villains to keep himself from being overpowered or w/e by the people. Also prolly needs proper enough living chambers, security, food, etc etc

 

Naturally, you're gonna need a guy with a large living space, enough food to keep the duelists alive long enough, enough money for security gaurds and with ridiculously awesome kidnapping skills. And somehow pay-per-view internet is supposed to help mitigate these costs? Err... okay?

 

Now for the motivation of the duelists involved. Why would they keep dueling? The promise of escape? Why would the kidnapper plan on releasing them if they were good duelists and made exciting duels? Like, if you were in charge of a dog fighting ring and you had a dog who drew a huge crowd, why would you let him go?

 

Then again, you could threaten to kill people who refused to duel... but killing your competitors is just as bad as letting them go. Either way you're out one competitor and the tournaments become less interesting with a smaller playerbase.

 

tl;dr -

1: The set up of how this tournament works is kind of contrived and would either require an ample suspension of disbelief or a pretty large revamp to get over the plot inconsistencies.

2: The motivation behind the duelists and why they agree to continue going on with this needs to be explained more thoroughly.

3: The motivation and so-and-so of the final villain and even the minor villains needs to be explained more.

[Aesirson]

Maybe all the duelists taken are complete a******s and the villain tells them "If you do anything to compromise this we'll kill you and only the winner survives." and since they're a******s who only care for themselves they obey.

[Catterjune]

If they're all... let's say jerks, then why should your audience care about them?

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

If they're all... let's say jerks, then why should your audience care about them?

 

then you don't have a story. Then you just have a mish-mash of words and sentences that no one cares about.

 

tl;dr -

1: The set up of how this tournament works is kind of contrived and would either require an ample suspension of disbelief or a pretty large revamp to get over the plot inconsistencies.

2: The motivation behind the duelists and why they agree to continue going on with this needs to be explained more thoroughly.

3: The motivation and so-and-so of the final villain and even the minor villains needs to be explained more.

 

1. I think, personally, this is one of those plots that doesn't really make sense until you actually start writing it. And also, those are my favorite kinds of plots. But with that being said, I feel it does need a revamp. But still, I haven't abandoned this project yet and will continue to work on forging this to be just a little bit clearer and more understandable. /backtodrawingboard

 

2. It's real easy for the madmen behind the scenes to say, "hey, I'm going to hook you up to this device, and if you do anything that is objectionable, then we blow you up" or something like that. If these Duelists go against Adalberto (I think I'm gonna stick with that name), then they will just get shocked/blown up/shot/beaten/etc., so that would be a method of motivation. It's sick and twisted, but that's the overall concept.

 

3. Every villain needs a backstory? Where have I heard that before.... *searches through notes* ahh, never mind. In all seriousness, however, I've started thinking that since their show has recently gone down the tubes in ratings, Adalberto is nabbing these Duelists from all over and forcing them to compete so he can get rich off of the audience's wagers and whatnot, so he can improve the quality of the show. May not be the best option, but that's the only thing I can think of so far.

[Catterjune]

... I think I've temporarily forgotten who was doing the religion story and who was doing the kidnapping duelists story... =\

 

*Scrolls up*

 

Yeah, if the people in kidnapping story are all jerks or something, no one's gonna really be rooting for anyone. It's just gonna be a bunch of words and sentences that no one cares about. Like a news report or something. Reporting the events, but at the end of the day you don't feel anything and you don't take anything away from the experience.

 

Anyway...

 

1: Meh, I personally prefer planning, a lot, when it comes to storywriting. I'm still planning my "original" story. It's only 6 "Chapters" long, and yet I only have 2 "Chapters" I'm really happy with. I started it last October. They all vary in size but the longest one is only planned at 5000 words. Shortest is 2000.

 

But that's just me. I like having things well planned out before diving into them.

 

2: I guess that sounds fine. Fear can be pretty powerful, even if it's a lie they still might be able to make it work.

 

3: They don't all need a backstory, just... some quick passing reference as to why they're doing this. Henchmen want money. Big Bad give them money. All is well. The main villain needs to have some kind of motivation.

 

As for the new idea...

 

Why would he risk kidnapping these duelists? There's no gaurantee the ratings would increase. Then you gotta wonder, why even do this in the first place? Why not just go down to the KaibaDome or wherever the hell Major League Duel Monsters is played and record their duel. And if there are people already there, that means they'll likely notice when a bunch of their duelists go missing. Prolly notice that there's a show with all of the recently kidnapped duelists on it.

 

I mean... it just seems absurdly risky to me and the villain comes off as stupid and crazy, not some kind of villanous mastermind, and if he's already stupid and crazy why not just go the full 9 yards... or however that expression goes... and just have him kidnap the world's best duelists because he's crazy and stupid and bored and rich. Has like... little gladiator fights in the basement of his mansion or something. Am I rambling here? 'Cause I feel like I'm rambling.

 

Anyway... his TV show (of which we know nothing about) is going bad... so he kidnaps these people and hires like, 50 gaurds and forces the duelists to all duel one another. If they leave or something, he threatens to murder them.

 

He's going to take bets on who wins... or something... and make money that way. The people making bets most likely don't know the duelists are being held against their will though. So like... any gaurd or any duelists acting out of turn could easily ruin everything.

 

Now, if the people makings bets do know... there's gotta either be a lot of them or a small number of them, and they're all exceedingly rich, otherwise the guy's not gonna make any money off this deal.

 

Rich people tend not to take risks like this. Could lead to jail time. Which means the most likely scenario is a lot of people, but they have no standards and are all terrible. Which means, that society would most likely have to have changed a long time ago to allow for such a thing to happen.

 

... So then, if society has changed... and duelists routinely get kidnapped off the street, why not just quit playing the game? Or not be world class duelists? Like, if being a pop star meant you had a high chance of being a victim of a drive-by, I'm sure plenty of people would quit it.

 

Am I still rambling? Okay, let me summarize...

 

a: He runs a show, we don't know what it does, but apparently the problem can be fixed with money somehow.

 

b: His plan to get money is to kidnap people, make them duel, and then take bets. If he knows people this desperate for gambling, why not do it for something safer? Heck, why not go down to a local bar that has the game on and tell some random guy "Hey, I bet 100 dollars Aster Phoenix wins it in 5 turns." without having to go kidnap Edo Phoenix himself? Like... you can bet on who wins the Super Bowl without owning both NFL teams.

 

c: How does taking bets and betting and stuff help him acquire money? I mean, if he has it all rigged or something maybe, but he never stands to gain that match most of the time. The only time he can win big is when it's SuperTerribleDuelist verus ExcellentProDuelist. Everyone puts it all on ExcellentProDuelist and he tells EPD to take a dive, so he wins all the money. For two average duelists, the wages would be split so he wouldn't get much in the long run. And if people notice that whenever EPD and STD duel STD starts losing, people would be more likely to split their wages more often, ruining his plans.

 

... In my opinion.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

I've been noticing "society" a lot in your posts, Pika, and I think that would also be something to look into. What if in the future, the society about Duel Monters has completely changed so that it is basically a degenerate shell of itself, and the most fun one could get is watching these kinds of reality TV shows where Duelists are forced to fight against their will? Maybe KaibaCorp and regular tournaments don't exist anymore. Maybe everything is run entirely by this media empire, right down to the wire. Of course, it would have to be so far into the future that we lose track of the congruity between the anime and the fan-fic, but with it being non-canon, there shouldn't be a problem there.

 

And I don't consider your posts rambling. It helps for me to gather as many ideas as possible.

[Catterjune]

Well then...

 

a: If people are being kidnapped and stuff because they play Yu-Gi-Ohs, everyone would quit for fear of being kidnapped.

 

b: If people aren't being kidnapped and Yu-Gi-Ohs is the only way to make money for degenerates with no skill... well then, people aren't being kidnapped and you lose that aspect of your story.

 

Sounds like b is the most likely choice.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

Well then...

 

a: If people are being kidnapped and stuff because they play Yu-Gi-Ohs, everyone would quit for fear of being kidnapped.

 

b: If people aren't being kidnapped and Yu-Gi-Ohs is the only way to make money for degenerates with no skill... well then, people aren't being kidnapped and you lose that aspect of your story.

 

Sounds like b is the most likely choice.

 

Maybe you're right. But I think I've got enough plot detail in order to fix some of the stuff said earlier.

 

Any good title suggestions?

[Aesirson]

YOO-GEE-OW! TEH GAEM OF DETH!

 

No Other Way

 

Adalberto's Challenge

 

Just throwing random (bad) ideas around here.

[Just Crouton]

Idea #1

A college student who competes in a tournament to win the prize money to pay for tuition. He's accompanied by his smarter girlfriend. There's a dark secret about the tournament involving a sorcerer who want "The Totems," an archetype of Xyz Monsters, one for each Type, that possess the player.

 

The hero is ignorant of the dark forces, and doesn't take them seriously since in this story, the card game is just a hobby and not the sole focus of a civilization like in the shows. The hero also has a sense of humor, and will even poke fun at his opponent while they're possessed by Totems.

 

It's a story that doesn't take itself seriously.

 

Idea #2

A dueling promotion similar to a pro wrestling show like WWE. It's ran by Kaiba (who IS dumb enough to do this.) The narrators jump between a generic narrator and commentators within the story. There are storylines, duel disk shots to the head, promos, and quick duels throughout the chapters. The hero is a newcomer who isn't promoted as much as he wants.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

Idea #1

A college student who competes in a tournament to win the prize money to pay for tuition. He's accompanied by his smarter girlfriend. There's a dark secret about the tournament involving a sorcerer who want "The Totems," an archetype of Xyz Monsters, one for each Type, that possess the player.

 

The hero is ignorant of the dark forces, and doesn't take them seriously since in this story, the card game is just a hobby and not the sole focus of a civilization like in the shows. The hero also has a sense of humor, and will even poke fun at his opponent while they're possessed by Totems.

 

It's a story that doesn't take itself seriously.

 

 

The idea certainly strikes me as it would be a serious story. If you are going to make a plot about cards taking over the person's mind and forcing them to become sinister and evil (which is also cliche), then it would at least some kind of serious moments scattered here and there. Why is the main character a complete idiot and needs to be accompanied by his girlfriend? That kinda takes away from the character's ability to stand on his own two feet, which is the driving force behind the story. If the girlfriend is taking all of the credit, why should we give a damn about the main character?

 

I suppose a sense of humor is good to have in a story, but you do know that it is incredibly hard to write something that will actually make someone laugh out loud, right? If you are looking for a generic approach to humor, I would suggest reading the works of Peter De Vries. I can tell, because it is mentioned a lot in my magical book of instant Fiction Gratification, that Peter De Vries's stories once made one of his older readers have a heart attack. The diagnosis later came back that the cause was laughing too much. You don't have to follow my advice, but it's something to look over.

 

Idea #2

A dueling promotion similar to a pro wrestling show like WWE. It's ran by Kaiba (who IS dumb enough to do this.) The narrators jump between a generic narrator and commentators within the story. There are storylines, duel disk shots to the head, promos, and quick duels throughout the chapters. The hero is a newcomer who isn't promoted as much as he wants.

 

Waaait, Kaiba is dumb? Where have I heard this before?

 

/badjoke

 

Anyways, it seems that you put a lot more time into the first idea than this one. Be careful about jumping from narrator to commentator, as it might throw off the balance of the story. People might get confused if your story suddenly jumps from the main protagonist to someone behind the scenes who pulls the strings of the protagonist's every move or something like that. "There are storylines". I'm pretty sure that was unnecessary. What story DOESN'T have a story line, besides Kurt Vonnegut's stories?

 

/bad but smart joke

 

What do you mean by "not promoted as much as he wants"? Are we talking "not getting enough screen time" or "not getting enough publicity"? If it's the latter, he should probably invest in some flyers.

 

/badjoke (third times the charm)

[Just Crouton]

 

The idea certainly strikes me as it would be a serious story. If you are going to make a plot about cards taking over the person's mind and forcing them to become sinister and evil (which is also cliche), then it would at least some kind of serious moments scattered here and there. Why is the main character a complete idiot and needs to be accompanied by his girlfriend? That kinda takes away from the character's ability to stand on his own two feet, which is the driving force behind the story. If the girlfriend is taking all of the credit, why should we give a damn about the main character?

 

I suppose a sense of humor is good to have in a story, but you do know that it is incredibly hard to write something that will actually make someone laugh out loud, right? If you are looking for a generic approach to humor, I would suggest reading the works of Peter De Vries. I can tell, because it is mentioned a lot in my magical book of instant Fiction Gratification, that Peter De Vries's stories once made one of his older readers have a heart attack. The diagnosis later came back that the cause was laughing too much. You don't have to follow my advice, but it's something to look over.

 

 

 

Waaait, Kaiba is dumb? Where have I heard this before?

 

/badjoke

 

Anyways, it seems that you put a lot more time into the first idea than this one. Be careful about jumping from narrator to commentator, as it might throw off the balance of the story. People might get confused if your story suddenly jumps from the main protagonist to someone behind the scenes who pulls the strings of the protagonist's every move or something like that. "There are storylines". I'm pretty sure that was unnecessary. What story DOESN'T have a story line, besides Kurt Vonnegut's stories?

 

/bad but smart joke

 

What do you mean by "not promoted as much as he wants"? Are we talking "not getting enough screen time" or "not getting enough publicity"? If it's the latter, he should probably invest in some flyers.

 

/badjoke (third times the charm)

 

"There are storylines". I'm pretty sure that was unnecessary.

 

It's means fake storylines like in pro wrestling.

 

What do you mean by "not promoted as much as he wants"?

 

As in he's (in-promotion's-storyline) overlooked.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

It's means fake storylines like in pro wrestling.

 

I don't watch wrestling, because I am simply above dropping a chair on my opponent's face. If you have a fake storyline in a story that's supposed to be real, then it's not really a story, is it? *Paradox alarm blares*

 

As in he's (in-promotion's-storyline) overlooked.

 

Overlooked how? Does he not have enough talent? Does he not have enough money? Is he not popular enough? I mean, Hollywood has some astounding competition, but I imagine anyone can show the latest film producer a great movie and they would make SOME bank off of it. If it is the flaw of the character that he is being overlooked, then give it some kind of generic sense as to WHY.

[Hydra of Ages]

I don't watch wrestling, because I am simply above dropping a chair on my opponent's face. If you have a fake storyline in a story that's supposed to be real, then it's not really a story, is it? *Paradox alarm blares*

 

All fictional storylines are, by definition "fake", but I believe King here means that there's a story-within-a-story happening here, with the plot being based around the actors who duel in a fake professional-wrestling sort of competition.

 

I'd argue against you for dissing professional wrestling when you obviously know less than nothing about it, but that would be off topic.

[Catterjune]

It's a wrestling parody, with duel monsters.

 

Wrestling's fake (to a degree and all that) so naturally there are storylines to hook in viewers. It's really just like a soap opera, except involving grown men and they frequently solve problems with punches and uppercuts and grappling moves and stuff like that.

 

Overlooked as in, the protagonist doesn't get the good storylines. He just stands by the sidelines as the REAL heroes do stuff.

 

Just imagine it like the crappy riding duel things on 5Ds, except everything is rigged beforehand. (Except... you know... it kind of is since the show has writers.) It's rigged in-universe. A story within a story. Not that complicated.

 

 

In any case, the first idea sounds much better, if only because I don't like it when people treat their story like it's SERIOUS BUSINESS! It comes off as sarcastic if overblown.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

It's a wrestling parody, with duel monsters.

 

Wrestling's fake (to a degree and all that) so naturally there are storylines to hook in viewers. It's really just like a soap opera, except involving grown men and they frequently solve problems with punches and uppercuts and grappling moves and stuff like that.

 

Overlooked as in, the protagonist doesn't get the good storylines. He just stands by the sidelines as the REAL heroes do stuff.

 

Just imagine it like the crappy riding duel things on 5Ds, except everything is rigged beforehand. (Except... you know... it kind of is since the show has writers.) It's rigged in-universe. A story within a story. Not that complicated.

 

 

In any case, the first idea sounds much better, if only because I don't like it when people treat their story like it's SERIOUS BUSINESS! It comes off as sarcastic if overblown.

 

Okay, that clears up a lot of confusion then. It really does sound like Mr. Crouton has spent more time on the first concept and jotting down ideas for it than the second one. It really should be a serious concept, though.

[Dr. Cakey]

Of course, when card games are serious business, and you pretend they're not, that's even worse. When you've got someone being manipulated like a puppet by some kind of malevolent, single-minded force and your protagonist is just going "lol u cosplayer", I will start hoping the card comes to life and melts his eyeballs while declaring itself to be the ultimate god.