The Pub at the Edge of the Multiverse ~ Fanfiction Public Planning Thread

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Ehh... at the end of the day, what a monster looks like, what a guy looks like, etc etc it's all important to some degree, but the plot is what matters most. Considering you did two of them before I figure you probably know somewhat how to write a decent plot.

 

If it truly bugs you that much, try looking into other people's YuGiOh fics and try to pick up things about their style?

[shelds9]

The large city of New Spectrum was forever peaceful. It was the host of many Tournaments and Cups. There was word of a powerful group of people who wanted to shape the world using powerful cards. Most people joked about this, calling the unknown people stupid.

 

Suddenly the people who opposed them started to vanish. People started to wonder if it was their doing. Eventually, their name was revealed. They were called the New Era Unity and they had confessed that they were the reason of the vanishings....

 

Many New Spectrum City Police had tried to overthrow the NEU, but they also disappeared. Now, a group of 6 people have risen to conquer the NEU. And the battle is just beginning...

 

How is it?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

Sounds a tad cliche, but more on that in a minute.

 

Is the fact that people are being kidnapped like... important to the plot at all? What I mean is, would the story be exactly the same if the villains were stealing doorknobs?

 

In short, why do these kidnapped people matter? Is one of them THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN STOP THE NUCLEAR REACTOR FROM EXPLODING!? Is one of them the brother/sister/mother/father/son/daughter of one of the protagonist?

 

Not necessarily something I want answered right now just... something to think about while you're writing.

 

 

As for the team of 6 how do they plan on fighting the New Era Unity? I figure "card games!" 'cause this is a Yu-Gi-Oh site but... how exactly? I doubt it's just as simple as calling a drunk guy in a bar to come fight you in the alley.

 

Which then leads to two scenarios:

If the villains need to beat you in a duel in order to make you disappear, if they see the protagonists as a credible threat, why not attack them last? (after they wiped out the entire city)

 

If the villains do not need to duel you in order to make you disappear, why don't they just make the protagonists disappear?

 

Once again just something to think about, not really something I want an answer to.

[shelds9]

I appreciate the feedback and I will keep that in mind. It is a YGO FF, I forgot to mention that.

 

+Rep for your time and effort.

 

How bout this?

 

The large city of New Spectrum was forever peaceful. It was the host of many Tournaments and Cups. There was word of a powerful group of people who wanted to shape the world using powerful cards. Most people joked about this, calling the unknown people stupid.

 

Suddenly the people who opposed them started to vanish. People started to wonder if it was their doing. Eventually, their name was revealed. They were called the New Era Unity and they had confessed that they were the reason of the kidnappings, and that they had taken the Mayor hostage by force. It was said that the Mayor's legendary deck was the only thing that could take down the leader of the NEU. It is also said, that their leader also had the power to grant Psychic Powers to the Ace cards of each New Era Duelist. This is supposedly how they kidnap all of these people.

 

Many New Spectrum City Police had tried to overthrow the NEU, but they also disappeared. Choas reigned, and the NEU figured they no longer needed to go and battle in person. The City had started tearing itself apart. Now, a group of 6 people called the Justice Bringers, have risen to conquer the NEU, and rescue the Mayor. And the battle is just beginning...

[Guest PikaPerson01]

To get more critical on individual points...

 

Suddenly the people who opposed them started to vanish. People started to wonder if it was their doing.

 

This specifically makes me wonder. Everyone thought the powerful group of people were jokes and that they were stupid, so why did they wonder if the disappearances were their doing?

 

It would be like if you made fun of Harold Camping and his followers, yet if your son or daughter disappeared on May 21st, you wouldn't suddenly jump to the conclusion that he or she was raptured. And if you made fun of aliens, you wouldn't immediately believe your son or daughter was abducted by aliens. And etc etc.

 

Secondly, what specifically is meant by "the people who opposed them"? No one could oppose them, since no one took them seriously (as far as I can tell). If you meant "people who didn't take them seriously" then that's just about everyone. If there doesn't seem to be a pattern here, it's just a group of people being taken, why would anyone notice and attribute it to anything other then normal crimes and murders?

 

Then again, you mention New Spectrum was "forever peaceful" which brings about some kind of visions of a utopia. Personally, I don't wanna get into a big lengthy diatribe about utopias (right now).

 

It is also said, that their leader also had the power to grant Psychic Powers to the Ace cards of each New Era Duelist. This is supposedly how they kidnap all of these people.

... Right, how was that again? Do they beat them in a duel or show them the card or can they kidnap people from a distance?

 

Also at some point, the number of New Spectrum kidnapped people has to outnumber the number of New Era Unity kidnappers. When it's a hundred or so people kidnapping 10 people, sure it can be frightening. When it's a hundred or so people who have 1000+ people kidnapped, they gotta have something more then just their Psychic kidnapping powers to keep everyone else in line.

 

Many New Spectrum City Police had tried to overthrow the NEU, but they also disappeared.

How did they try to overthrow the NEU? With guns or with Yu-Gi-Ohs or with... what exactly? That's kind of what I was asking before.

 

So two things:

1: Where do all the NEU people live or hang out?

2: How easy (or difficult) is it to calmly walk inside and start picking fights?

 

they no longer needed to go and battle in person

Is this because their psychic powers allow them to not be there in person or is because they've already caused enough damage? And if they choose not to go into battle, how does our team of heroes plan to track them down?

 

Now, a group of 6 people called the Justice Bringers, have risen to conquer the NEU, and rescue the Mayor.

 

Also, why these 6 specifically? Are they friends? Are they former members of the NSC Police? Are they the winners of the previous 6 tournaments and cups? What makes them so special? Or is that they're not special, and it could have just as easily been a school teacher and a baker and a flower shop owner and some other random people, it's just the Justice Bringers got there first? Are there other groups like the Justice Bringers in this world?

 

 

 

... Once again, none of my questions need answers. Just things to think about, points to ponder, (possible) holes to fill in the story.

[Dwarven King]

So...I'm thinking of doing a zombie survival Fan-Fic. Some of the characters used will be ones created by members of this forum. I haven't quite decided on an ending yet, but I have already posted a prologue! I would just like some comments please, and a possible name. The current one sucks. -_-

 

http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/252135-zombie-survival-i-need-a-better-name-suggestions/

[Frybread002]

>Come to a public forum and ask for opinions on story idea

>Get upset when you receive opinions on story idea

 

Tsk. Tsk. Come Kind Sir, surely you knew I was kidding.

 

What are the other goals of the fic? Because you could just write a review if you wanted to spread how awesome the book was.

 

 

But you do have point there, but isn't that the same reason why I would just brag about why that book is better than everyother book? Besides, out of the users of YCM, I only have a circle 6 - 10 friends, and only 6 of them would've known by now, the awesomness of the holy book.

 

Anyway, being serious here now, for the longest of time, the thoughts that you've been posting really didn't make sense. Obvisouly, I read the book, and it's only natural for me to think that my ideas are rather original (which I still think they are, but just give me a minute to explain). But when you started mentioning the similarities between the main character, and the main character from the books. I had to read a Wikia myself.

 

Out of the two us, I can claim the fac that I know Katniss a bit better, but I can't claim the fact that the main character from the fic, doesn't sound like Katniss.

 

But when you kept refering to the similarities between the two characters (just for the record, everyone is poor in District 12), I had no choice but to read a Wikia (and Wikipedia for that matter). Not to my suprise, but the main character, Will, does sound a lot like Katniss. But I'm not that ready to give up on my claim just yet. The only reason that the two characters sound alike, is just the way the infomation is being recieved on your part Pikaperson.

 

Like, at first, I thought you were just going to read the plot on the Wikia (if I known you were gonna read the entire thing, I think I would've just bought you a copy myself, put a gun to your head, and force you to read and love the book with all of your heart's contempt), I was completely caught off gaurd when I realized that you read the entire thing. With that being said, the infomation that you read on a Wikia is obiviously a 3rd Person Narrative, so you can only read it without really getting to know the characaters. While I read the infomation from the book, comming from a 1st Person Narrative, meaning I can connect with the characters.

 

Not only that, the rules on this thread also prohibit me from literally blabbering on about me ideas and going into depth and detail about my take on the Hunger Games, when there are other people also posting their ideas and wish for them to be answered, I am forced to only post enough infomation to get whoever is helping me on the subject, through the first couple of hurdles and on my feet.

 

Combine that delima with different means of infomation that we both recieved, also plays a bigger limit on me as well. Reading a Wikia gives you the entire infomation as a whole and compressed into neatly written paragraphs. I have to write my stuff with only so much infomation, just to give you a general idea on my take of the story. Just so I won't have to force everyone to scrolly needessly to get to where they need to go on this page (like the post box at the bottom of the page, so they can post their own ideas as well).

 

In short, all the infomation that I given so far, and the infomation that you read on the Wikia, are literally the same on paper. A fact that I am willing to adress myself. That the general pieces of infomation, are one-in-the-same. With that being said, I don't think I can fully explain the ideas in my head without spamming the thread with infomation that people don't care about and say "It's original." So, in all the odds of possibility Pikaperson, is it possible that I can discuss my ideas with you via. PM? Like, I already a basic "Beginning, Middle and End" for the fan-fic, it's just that I don't want to have people scroll down needlessly and cause frustsation just to reach a certain post or to make a post at the bottom of the page.

If you don't want to talk the story out via. PM, it's cool, I can understand and I apologize if I taken up any of your time.

 

But you already know all of that, don't you Fry? I'd assume so, since you are YCM's Local Indian Guide

 

Of course I know that!! What else would it be!? I'm the only Indian (who does shout out in the air) who is a Guide on YCM!!

[Quiksilver]

So, you think that focusing on the monster development isn't as much of a necessity as the plot? Because I feel the same way. For example:

 

 

 

Is something like that efficient enough? I don't think the descriptions need to be huge every time.

 

When I said the thing about the monster description, I thought of it with a sense of scale in which I unfortunately didn't convey into words; what I meant it you should describe with a sense of the "importance" of the said monster in mind. You'll undoubtedly describe a main character more than some random person you met in the street, will you not? It should apply here as well. Give the less important cards (like the cards going to be used for a Summon or whatnot) more basic descriptions, while save the two/three/however long sentences for the more important cards.

 

I appreciate the feedback and I will keep that in mind. It is a YGO FF, I forgot to mention that.

 

+Rep for your time and effort.

 

How bout this?

 

The large city of New Spectrum was forever peaceful. It was the host of many Tournaments and Cups. There was word of a powerful group of people who wanted to shape the world using powerful cards. Most people joked about this, calling the unknown people stupid.

 

Suddenly the people who opposed them started to vanish. People started to wonder if it was their doing. Eventually, their name was revealed. They were called the New Era Unity and they had confessed that they were the reason of the kidnappings, and that they had taken the Mayor hostage by force. It was said that the Mayor's legendary deck was the only thing that could take down the leader of the NEU. It is also said, that their leader also had the power to grant Psychic Powers to the Ace cards of each New Era Duelist. This is supposedly how they kidnap all of these people.

 

Many New Spectrum City Police had tried to overthrow the NEU, but they also disappeared. Choas reigned, and the NEU figured they no longer needed to go and battle in person. The City had started tearing itself apart. Now, a group of 6 people called the Justice Bringers, have risen to conquer the NEU, and rescue the Mayor. And the battle is just beginning...

 

PikaPerson has already posed some wonderful responses to this, but I'd like to add one more question; if these citizens called the group stupid, then how do they know so much about the Unity group? This "psychic powers" and such sounds like a lot of superstition. If it is true, then how did the person who started saying these things know about it?

 

So...I'm thinking of doing a zombie survival Fan-Fic. Some of the characters used will be ones created by members of this forum. I haven't quite decided on an ending yet, but I have already posted a prologue! I would just like some comments please, and a possible name. The current one sucks. -_-

 

http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/252135-zombie-survival-i-need-a-better-name-suggestions/

 

Eh...the prologue sounds good, but how about a bit more on the characters and plot?

 

For a name...how about Decayed Flesh and Other Yummy Foods? Without the plot in mind, I can't think of a really good name.

 

 

Tsk. Tsk. Come Kind Sir, surely you knew I was kidding.

 

 

 

 

But you do have point there, but isn't that the same reason why I would just brag about why that book is better than everyother book? Besides, out of the users of YCM, I only have a circle 6 - 10 friends, and only 6 of them would've known by now, the awesomness of the holy book.

 

Anyway, being serious here now, for the longest of time, the thoughts that you've been posting really didn't make sense. Obvisouly, I read the book, and it's only natural for me to think that my ideas are rather original (which I still think they are, but just give me a minute to explain). But when you started mentioning the similarities between the main character, and the main character from the books. I had to read a Wikia myself.

 

Out of the two us, I can claim the fac that I know Katniss a bit better, but I can't claim the fact that the main character from the fic, doesn't sound like Katniss.

 

But when you kept refering to the similarities between the two characters (just for the record, everyone is poor in District 12), I had no choice but to read a Wikia (and Wikipedia for that matter). Not to my suprise, but the main character, Will, does sound a lot like Katniss. But I'm not that ready to give up on my claim just yet. The only reason that the two characters sound alike, is just the way the infomation is being recieved on your part Pikaperson.

 

Like, at first, I thought you were just going to read the plot on the Wikia (if I known you were gonna read the entire thing, I think I would've just bought you a copy myself, put a gun to your head, and force you to read and love the book with all of your heart's contempt), I was completely caught off gaurd when I realized that you read the entire thing. With that being said, the infomation that you read on a Wikia is obiviously a 3rd Person Narrative, so you can only read it without really getting to know the characaters. While I read the infomation from the book, comming from a 1st Person Narrative, meaning I can connect with the characters.

 

Not only that, the rules on this thread also prohibit me from literally blabbering on about me ideas and going into depth and detail about my take on the Hunger Games, when there are other people also posting their ideas and wish for them to be answered, I am forced to only post enough infomation to get whoever is helping me on the subject, through the first couple of hurdles and on my feet.

 

Combine that delima with different means of infomation that we both recieved, also plays a bigger limit on me as well. Reading a Wikia gives you the entire infomation as a whole and compressed into neatly written paragraphs. I have to write my stuff with only so much infomation, just to give you a general idea on my take of the story. Just so I won't have to force everyone to scrolly needessly to get to where they need to go on this page (like the post box at the bottom of the page, so they can post their own ideas as well).

 

In short, all the infomation that I given so far, and the infomation that you read on the Wikia, are literally the same on paper. A fact that I am willing to adress myself. That the general pieces of infomation, are one-in-the-same. With that being said, I don't think I can fully explain the ideas in my head without spamming the thread with infomation that people don't care about and say "It's original." So, in all the odds of possibility Pikaperson, is it possible that I can discuss my ideas with you via. PM? Like, I already a basic "Beginning, Middle and End" for the fan-fic, it's just that I don't want to have people scroll down needlessly and cause frustsation just to reach a certain post or to make a post at the bottom of the page.

If you don't want to talk the story out via. PM, it's cool, I can understand and I apologize if I taken up any of your time.

 

 

 

Of course I know that!! What else would it be!? I'm the only Indian (who does shout out in the air) who is a Guide on YCM!!

 

lolwut

 

Alright...after reading through those circuitous paragraphs, I've come to the conclusion that you're trying to say you have so much that differentiates your story from the original Hunger Games, you can't post it here. Well...can't you just give us a taste of it? So far, your story seems like a run-of-the-mill Hunger Game; poor guy is forced into Hunger Game, comes back changed man. As a reader of the Hunger Games, I can say so far you have done little to change the plot of the original Hunger Games besides excommunicating the love triangle and revolution bits, which, as it is, is one of the things that made the original Hunger Games so intriguing.

[Dwarven King]

Eh...the prologue sounds good, but how about a bit more on the characters and plot?

 

For a name...how about Decayed Flesh and Other Yummy Foods? Without the plot in mind, I can't think of a really good name.

 

Characters and plot will be introduced in Chapter one and so on.

[Quiksilver]

Characters and plot will be introduced in Chapter one and so on.

 

Yeah, well...this is a planning thread. To help you plan for your RP, I'll need a bit more details about the story.

[shelds9]

Thank you Quik. That is a very good point. I will definitely look into that. One thing I learned from this though, is that not everyone has to be posted in the "Plot" spoiler. I can just let it roll out in the story itself.

[Dwarven King]

Yeah, well...this is a planning thread. To help you plan for your RP, I'll need a bit more details about the story.

 

I'm thinking that I have the zombies develop some intelligence and be controlled by someone who wishes to "redo" the whole world. I haven't thought of COMPLETE details, how much intelligence the zombies will develop, or how said person will control the zombies. But that's the underlying basis that I want to hit.

[New World]

Here's something new I'd like to try regarding the Yu-Gi-Oh! series.

 

This story focuses on the philosophic concept of cause and effect, and how the main characters can manipulate it to their advantage. They can travel through and by extension manipulate time because of a special pocketwatch in their possession. However their time travel is very limited because they can only travel through a specifice timeframe. The last day of the school year and the first year of the next one. Thus giving them only two months to achieve their goal. The main antagonists are a group of duel spirits simply known as the Disciples of Ragnarok. There are thirteen of them in total and their goal is to revive their leader, Ragnarok the Demon King, who has been sealed into a Duel Monsters card. That card will be given out as part of the grand prize in the Duel Monsters World Championships, which is being held that summer. Should Ragnarok be freed he'll use his powers over darkness to enslave the entire human race and wage war on the ones who sealed him inside of a card in the first place. The first arc would just be the "initial run" of things and at it's climax would be when the whole limited time travel element actually gets used for the the first time in order to escape from Ragnarok and his servants. After that would be the constant repeating and manipulation of that summer in order to become strong enough to prevent Ragnarok's release and eventually strong enough to defeat and reseal Ragnarok. This is because the characters are about low average in terms of dueling skill. It's also much more character driven because there's no reincarnation element always helping them out when things go to hell.

 

What do you think? And before you say anything yes this was inspired by Majora's Mask.

[Guest PikaPerson01]

So, in all the odds of possibility Pikaperson, is it possible that I can discuss my ideas with you via. PM?

No.

 

I'm thinking that I have the zombies develop some intelligence and be controlled by someone who wishes to "redo" the whole world. I haven't thought of COMPLETE details, how much intelligence the zombies will develop, or how said person will control the zombies. But that's the underlying basis that I want to hit.

Sounds like Resident Evil 4

 

(inb4neverheardofit) >_>

 

The prologue reminded me very much of the video game Left 4 Dead (mindless zombies, and the last few humans just looking for a safe place)

 

The two obvious plot twists are that either:

1: The guy doesn't have complete control and his monsters turn on him

2: The guy does have complete control but it's greatly lowering his intelligence so he becomes a monster like they used to be.

 

... Not sure if they 'develop' intelligence though. That implies that- wait, I had a thought.

 

Is it more like I Am Legend? Zombie/vampire/monsters that seem terrible but are actually much more intelligent and they develop their own government and society and by "Control" you meant like their zombie leader?

 

The concept is vague enough to go either way. Either an intelligent human has them under his zombie control, RE4 style, or the zombies (which outnumber men) become intelligent and rebuild society, with humans now seen as the things that go bump in the night.

 

And before you say anything yes this was inspired by Majora's Mask.

I was gonna say another video game but after reading Majora's Mask, I can't remember what it was.

 

The specific time frame seemed... odd at first. I think it's just worded peculiarly, but I took it to mean that they could jump between time. But then when I read Majora's Mask I realized you meant it was a two month time-loop.

 

I think the biggest thing is that you want to introduce the time-loop concept as quickly as possible, and I guess limit the time to be much shorter. Something more like a week as opposed to 2 whole months, because not only would it seem unrealistic to not get good at Yu-Gi-Ohs after 4 months but it would be full of a lot of filler if it wasn't quicker then that.

 

Also, I remembered the game. It was Half Minute Hero. Majora's Mask works better though, IMO.

[Dwarven King]

@ Pika: I didn't even realize that it sounded like RE4 or Left 4 Dead...O.O

 

I'll try twisting it around into something unique.

[New World]

No.

 

 

Sounds like Resident Evil 4

 

(inb4neverheardofit) >_>

 

The prologue reminded me very much of the video game Left 4 Dead (mindless zombies, and the last few humans just looking for a safe place)

 

The two obvious plot twists are that either:

1: The guy doesn't have complete control and his monsters turn on him

2: The guy does have complete control but it's greatly lowering his intelligence so he becomes a monster like they used to be.

 

... Not sure if they 'develop' intelligence though. That implies that- wait, I had a thought.

 

Is it more like I Am Legend? Zombie/vampire/monsters that seem terrible but are actually much more intelligent and they develop their own government and society and by "Control" you meant like their zombie leader?

 

The concept is vague enough to go either way. Either an intelligent human has them under his zombie control, RE4 style, or the zombies (which outnumber men) become intelligent and rebuild society, with humans now seen as the things that go bump in the night.

 

 

I was gonna say another video game but after reading Majora's Mask, I can't remember what it was.

 

The specific time frame seemed... odd at first. I think it's just worded peculiarly, but I took it to mean that they could jump between time. But then when I read Majora's Mask I realized you meant it was a two month time-loop.

 

I think the biggest thing is that you want to introduce the time-loop concept as quickly as possible, and I guess limit the time to be much shorter. Something more like a week as opposed to 2 whole months, because not only would it seem unrealistic to not get good at Yu-Gi-Ohs after 4 months but it would be full of a lot of filler if it wasn't quicker then that.

 

Also, I remembered the game. It was Half Minute Hero. Majora's Mask works better though, IMO.

 

Thanks for the constructive criticism!

[Guest PikaPerson01]

I think the biggest thing is that you want to introduce the time-loop concept as quickly as possible, and I guess limit the time to be much shorter.

I guess I should kind of elaborate on this, give a reason "why" as opposed to just saying "do it this way because I'm telling you to do it this way!"

 

Having a story span 2 months seems to give the indication that it would be pretty long. The first arc ends when the first loop ends. If it ends during the second loop, people will most likely think you couldn't come up with a decent resolution so you resorted to a ridiculous Deus Ex Machina to get the protagonists out of their situation. If it goes into the third loop, people may begin to find it boring, it may get too long, you yourself won't want to continue it. Etc etc.

 

... I'm really monopolizing this thread, aren't I? >_>

[Dwarven King]

It's perfectly fine Pika! ^_^

[Cody Frost]

Okay, since the RP didn't work out, I thought of taking the same plot and turning it into a Fan Fic. I'm not so sure if a prologue is actually needed, but here's the plot:

 

[spoiler=Plot]

The SWAT Kats are still patrolling their home at Megakat City, but they have expanded themselves into a much more broad range of terrain, sometimes going to other nearby cities such as Katopolis and Port Feline. Although Chance and Jake still have a long way to pay for the “accident” they had committed, they are still living in the Junkyard and training to become better pilots, and better heroes. With the help of a couple of new crew members and a few side heroes, things SHOULD seem smooth for the SWAT Kats and defending the city. But that is not the case. Old villains have learned new tricks, and new villains have begun to appear, making their job only that much harder, dangerous, and fun.

 

The main new villains for the SWAT Kats are an organization called "Trinity". They are a trio of powerful mutants that want to unleash the apocalypse across the world, enslaving the entire Kat race. These guys have incredible powers and are more than a fair match against the SWAT Kats. Their objectives are to unlock the "Paths of Destiny" (Yes, it's a Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG/OCG referance) which are underground temples that hold vast power. Once they are activated, they emit a radiant colorful light onto the skies before the temple vanishes. When all the temples are activated, the stages of the apocalypse begin.

 

 

Basically it's a continuation on the series except there is a main plot this time with three evil villains that will be involved through-out the Fan Fic. Might be thinking of doing this like the show by splitting the episodes into "Seasons" and writing an episode every week. I already have the first episode finished, but any feedback?

[New World]

Because I'm about halfway done with my final exams for the year, my schedule is getting increasingly empty. And when I have nothing to do, is when I get bored, and when I get bored, is when my imagination starts going into overdrive. I've decided to drop the earlier idea I posted, as I was mainly under the influence of nostalgia because I'd found some of my old gamecube games while writing.

 

So I decided to come up with something new to pass the time. It's bascially a complete and major rewrite of the original series properly named Yu-Gi-Oh! Shinsetsu. Shinsetsu means true theory, which is basically what this is. To be frank it would be told from a more realistic standpoint, contain less plotholes, and have more complete definitions of certain aspects of the series. The filler arcs would still exist, but they would be elongated and more complicated in order to seem more like they actually belong in the series. Honda, Shizuka, and Anzu actually become great duelists as well, so they don't seem like just moral support characters. Of course I'd have to edit their backstories in order to give them a reason to duel, but nobody really minds that right? Miho Nosaka would become a main character again like in season zero, but her personality and backstory would also be edited in order to make her fit into the story better. Personality-wise she'd be a combination of her anime self and her manga self. Would she be a duelist?... Probably.

 

Jonouchi would be less of a comedic-relief/sidekick character and a more serious one. Sure he would be an incredible funny guy like in the original series, but his humor is more or less based on street smarts and a quick wit. He'd still be a screw-up and a slacker, just not as much as you would normally come to expect from him. Shizuka and Jonouchi are twins in this rewrite, as to make it seem like Honda's slight crush on her doesn't feel wrong. Remember, Jonouchi reffers to her as his little sister, meaning that she's atleast a year younger that he is. Plus Honda and Jonouchi are about the same age right? How would you feel if you're best friend tried to go out with your younger sibling who's like three years younger than the two of you? Sure Jonouchi would be pissed upon learning that Honda has feelings for his sister, but not as much if she was about three years younger than them.

 

Kisara would be reincarnated as Kisara Nanjou. She'd be sort of a softener to Kaiba's insanity. And I do mean insanity. Seriously though, who spends that much money and resources revolutionizing a children's trading card game? By the start of the series they'd be friends, but by the end of it they'd probably be in a romantic relationship with eachother, just because I like seeing a genuinely happy Seto. She'd also probably be the only person he allows to use the Blue-Eyes White Dragons.

 

Then there's the matter of Ryou Bakura. I'm not going to change anything about Yami Bakura personality-wise, simply because he's that awesome. Ryou on the other hand would have more a backbone and try to forge a symbiotic relationship with his dark side. At the end of the Monster World Arc, Yami Yugi would used Mind Crush on Yami Bakura, thereby getting rid of the part of his soul influenced by Zorc Necrophades. Because in this rewrite, Yami Bakura's soul is made up of Thief King Bakura's and a fragment of Zorc's.

He'd still be pure evil, just more like tempting Ryou to use his power to crush the people who cross them.

 

Yugi would rely less on Yami to win duels for him, as that was something I had always disliked about the series. I mean it's called Yu-Gi-Oh!, but why does Yami seem to get more screentime than he does? Speaking of the Pharaoh himself, he'd be more of a mischievious and arrogant character, seeing as he was a king. At first he'd only help Yugi because he wouldn't want to have a weak vessel to inhabit, but their relationship eventually turns into a brotherly one like in the anime/manga. Plus there's the fact that he originally nearly kills people with his Shadow Games, causing Yugi and his friends to notice his existence much sooner.

 

The Monster World Arc also plays an important role in the plot besides introducing Bakura and his dark side. It would serve as the creator of Yugi and his friends' very own personal monster cards. I mean it is called monster world, so therefore it must have some sort of connection to the Duel Monsters Realm, right? Their names would be the Courageous Monster Tamer (Yugi), the Melodious Dancer(Miho), the Enchanted Gunman (Honda), the Lucky Warrior (Jonouchi), the Friendly Magician Girl (Anzu), and the Kind White Mage (Ryou). How exactly this would this come to be? I'm not sure, probably something to do with Pegasus.

 

And finally the Millennium World Arc. Now I'm not going to change much of anything from this arc because it's the one I'm the least familiar with. The only thing I'm going to change is the defeat of Zorc Necrophades. Seal him into a Duel Monsters card. Why? Because Zorc would be awesome as a card don't you think. Plus as a last note, Yugi and Atem would come into the possession of the Orialchaos cards. Frankly because I think it suits them in an odd way.

 

What do you think?

[Guest PikaPerson01]

What do you think?

Since it's a rewrite of the original, you're gonna have two camps, it'll either be:

 

a) Half the people will see any and all plot twist coming a mile away and say it's predictable.

B) Half the people will expect to see certain plot details and be annoyed if they're not introduced.

 

It's a no-win situation.

[The Borg]

So I had an idea I'm working on right now, and I want to see it's reaction.

 

The story takes place in the far out future, but in it's history, in the year 2027, a nuclear war broke out an annihilated most of the human race. The only ones who survived was an underground bunker full of nerdy scientists and video game programers and Science Fiction writers and directors. They end up repopulating the Earth and expand it's empire, but they create a race of synthetic animal like creatures (Synthoids) to help them out along the way. With the expansion of Earth's empire, they terraformed many worlds and based some off of things like pokemon (say a world based off of Johto or Kanto with Synthoids as the "pokemon"). The story follows a crew aboard a starship able to travel around this empire, doing various things with very little Ship fights, and with the other plot focusing on Synthoid Humans created secretly by the government who end up crossing paths with the main crew many times throughout the story. The story has room for government conspiracies (read X-Files), ghost stories (like Lavender Town for real), and straight up Sci-Fi ( read raiding ships with the crew having gone nuts in the middle of no where to get things to sell). You also have the morality angle of the Humanic Synthoids who constantly believe Humanity is the better race (though other races exist, read aliens) going as far as calling it "god's race" (as according to religion God created humans, and the Synthoids were made by Humans, not god).

[Guest PikaPerson01]

I had a weird dream last night, so I decided to format it into a story.

 

One sentence summary: Two high school sweethearts with magical hypnotizing powers (think something like the Jedi Mind Trick) use their abilities to rob banks and thwart the police.

 

More details: Eh... none at the moment. No clue how the high schoolers got Jedi Mind Trick powers or why their greedy asses need so much money, or what the central conflict would be.

 

I was thinking that the power would ultimately never be explained (because seriously, f[orget] that). They need the money for... I dunno, some reason? (who would honestly not want more money) And the central antagonist would most likely be a deaf detective (or an old man detective without his hearing aides or something). They're Jedi Mind Trick only works if their mind-trick-ee can hear them.

 

I had a plan for the first two crimes we see, before stuff begins to escalate. The first heist we see goes off without a hitch just to show what kind of stuff they've gotten into, the ins and outs of their power and such. The second one... they make a rather costly mistake. The rest of the story is them using their hypnosis on cops and such.

 

As for why they're high schoolers... I figure it's because some of the stunts they pull are actually kind of really stupid and overconfident. If they were smart enough, the story would be much too short, not at all exciting, and there'd be next-to-zero tension. Either they'd get a legit job as a lawyer or a politician or something and mind trick everyone, or they'd mind trick themselves into a luxurious yacht and sail the ocean blue, stopping into ports to mind trick other people for small supplies. Or ask their parents for advice instead of keeping it hidden from them.

 

Thoughts? Opinions? Etc etc?

[New World]

Since it's a rewrite of the original, you're gonna have two camps, it'll either be:

 

a) Half the people will see any and all plot twist coming a mile away and say it's predictable.

B) Half the people will expect to see certain plot details and be annoyed if they're not introduced.

 

It's a no-win situation.

 

 

Well... that sucks...

[The Borg]

I had a weird dream last night, so I decided to format it into a story.

 

One sentence summary: Two high school sweethearts with magical hypnotizing powers (think something like the Jedi Mind Trick) use their abilities to rob banks and thwart the police.

 

More details: Eh... none at the moment. No clue how the high schoolers got Jedi Mind Trick powers or why their greedy asses need so much money, or what the central conflict would be.

 

I was thinking that the power would ultimately never be explained (because seriously, f[orget] that). They need the money for... I dunno, some reason? (who would honestly not want more money) And the central antagonist would most likely be a deaf detective (or an old man detective without his hearing aides or something). They're Jedi Mind Trick only works if their mind-trick-ee can hear them.

 

I had a plan for the first two crimes we see, before stuff begins to escalate. The first heist we see goes off without a hitch just to show what kind of stuff they've gotten into, the ins and outs of their power and such. The second one... they make a rather costly mistake. The rest of the story is them using their hypnosis on cops and such.

 

As for why they're high schoolers... I figure it's because some of the stunts they pull are actually kind of really stupid and overconfident. If they were smart enough, the story would be much too short, not at all exciting, and there'd be next-to-zero tension. Either they'd get a legit job as a lawyer or a politician or something and mind trick everyone, or they'd mind trick themselves into a luxurious yacht and sail the ocean blue, stopping into ports to mind trick other people for small supplies. Or ask their parents for advice instead of keeping it hidden from them.

 

Thoughts? Opinions? Etc etc?

 

Maybe you should eliminate the parents, I am sure they would notice something and all the editing could slow down the heroes.