~Absolute Powerforce - Everlasting Burning Soul~

[Proto]

[spoiler=My Story so far]

The story I’m about to tell you happened a long time ago. Back when the streets of Domino City were filled with duelists. Each duelist had one goal in mind. That was to grab a shot of the championship. The champion knew that he had contenders all over the city. To solve his problem, he started a special tournament. The winner received a shot at his championship. As news spread of the tournament, thugs started attacking innocent duelists so they had a better chance of winning the tournament. Chaos was everywhere. That was the case until a brave duelist came to the city. His name was Jonathan Jacobson.

 

I wonder what all this buzz is about. Jonathan just stepped into the Town Square. That was the place where the majority of the duels happened. This looks like some sort of dueling tournament here. I guess I’m in the right spot. Jonathan didn’t know much about this tournament except that the winner faces the champion. Jonathan was unaware he was going when he tripped a nine year old kid.

 

“Hey you!” shouted the nine year old. “Someone needs to teach you some manners! So I challenge you to a duel!” The kid was about average height. His duel disk wasn’t average. It was crusted with diamonds. “So, you want to duel me or not? Choose your answer because I don’t have all day.” The kid was impatient and rude. It seemed he wanted to be champion and would face any newcomer to do that.

 

“Alright kid,” said Jonathan as he opened his briefcase to reveal his special duel disk. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” At first glance, you could tell Jonathan’s duel disk wasn’t like the others. His had an extra slot for removed from play monsters. That would always be a red flag for his opponents. Yet this one kept his cool. “So what is your name?”

 

“The name is Mike Ta’on,” said the kid. “Don’t you forget it!”

 

Both duelists out their decks in their duel disks and activated them. I’m so going to win. This newcomer will regret coming here. They both drew their 5 cards and the duel began.

 

Jonathan Jacobson: 4000 Life Points

Mike Ta‘on: 4000 Life Points

 

“I go first you spoiled little kid,” said Jonathan as he drew a card from his deck. Just the hand I needed. Let me see if he can stop me. “I summon ‘D.D. Survivor’ in Attack Position,” said Jonathan as he laid the card down.

 

D.D. Survivor

Level: 4

ATK: 1800

DEF: 200

 

The monster had a torn cloak and looked like a warrior that barely escaped death. “I put 1 face-down and end my turn.” Let me see what he has to offer. I already have “Dimensional Fissure” in my hand. He won’t know what is coming.

 

Jonathan

Hand: 4

Monsters: D.D. Survivor

S/T: 1 Face-Down

Life Points: 4000

 

“That all?” asked Mike as he drew his card. “That was pathetic you know.” The kid took a breath and placed a card on his duel disk. “Since I have no monsters on my field I can Special Summon ‘Cyber Dragon’!”

 

Cyber Dragon

Level: 5

ATK: 2100

DEF: 1600

 

Cyber Dragon was a grey machine dragon. It looked powerful and deadly. “D.D. Survivor” was no match for it. “Now, ‘Cyber Dragon’ attack ‘D.D. Survivor’!” “Cyber Dragon” was about to make his attack. As the blast was about to hit “D.D. Survivor“, Jonathan acted.

 

“I play my face-down, Dimensional Prison!” replied Jonathan. “Your ‘Cyber Dragon’ is now removed from play!” Jonathan was glad that ‘Cyber Dragon’ was off the field, but he was thinking that his opponent might have another ‘Cyber Dragon’.

 

“I put 1 card face-down and end my turn,” told Mike. “Hope you are up for the challenge newcomer.” A D.D. Deck? This is going to be fun. I can’t wait to crush this deck and move on to the next round.

 

Mike Ta’on

Hand: 4

Monsters: None

S/T: 1 Face-Down

Life Points: 4000

 

“I draw then,” said Jonathan as he grabbed another card from his Deck. “I summon “D.D. Scout Plane”. I then play MST from my hand. Say good bye to your face-down.” MST headed to Mike’s face-down and destroyed it. “Now, I can attack you directly!” Both D.D. monsters attacked Mike making him lose 2600 Life Points. “I end my turn.”

 

Jonathan

Hand: 2

Monsters: D.D. Survivor, D.D. Scout Plane

S/T 1 Face-Down

Life Points: 4000

 

Mike Ta’on

Hand: 4

Monsters: None

S/T: None

Life Points: 1400

 

 

I'm trying to think of a way where this becomes a close duel and have Jonathan win in the end. By close I mean both people under 1000.

Your fic bores me.

 

Not enough plot to make me care, not enough camp to make me laugh, not enough over the top madness to make it awesome.

 

To paraphase Linkara, your fic sucks, your main character is a advertisement on how cool your deck is. You duel against nine year olds (because of course only adults can play a children's card game) and I have no reason to care about it at all.

 

Now I need to hug someone.

[Nathanael D. Striker]

Your fic bores me.

 

Not enough plot to make me care, not enough camp to make me laugh, not enough over the top madness to make it awesome.

Work in progress. Why do you think I brought it here?

 

To paraphase Linkara, your fic sucks, your main character is a advertisement on how cool your deck is. You duel against nine year olds (because of course only adults can play a children's card game) and I have no reason to care about it at all.

 

It is not an advertisement of my Deck. It sounded like a good Deck to use for the main character. Also, Jonathan is thirteen.

 

Now I need to hug someone.

 

@Ice: Makes things run smoothly and works as well.

[Ice.]

Or you can be creative and make your own format?

[Proto]

Your fic just sounds like the regular cliched Yu-Gi-Oh fic and I have no reason to care about it whatsoever.

 

You think its not a LITTLE obvious that every time you write a fanfic or create a it involves either:

 

A: A character that uses Stun D.D.

B: A nation based on your cards or a club you own.

C: Yourself as a Marty Sue.

[Nathanael D. Striker]

Or you can be creative and make your own format?

When I think of something that works better or just as good I'll change it. For now, it is staying.

 

 

Your fic just sounds like the regular cliched Yu-Gi-Oh fic and I have no reason to care about it whatsoever.

It is telling the story on how Jonathan became champion. You will need it to understand him in Summer Dueling.

 

You think its not a LITTLE obvious that every time you write a fanfic or create a RP it involves either:

 

A: A character that uses Stun D.D.

First time. Can't use that against me.

B: A nation based on your cards or a club you own.

And they sucked. Thank you Captain Obvious.

C: Yourself as a Marty Sue.

Never happened.

[Proto]

@A

*points to Summer Dueling*

 

@C

 

*points towards the Club Wars and Dane Battle*

 

Yeeaaah.... that's kinda Sueish.

[iCherry]

I should make a character that runs Polar God King Thor for Striker's fanfic.

[Nathanael D. Striker]

Proto, can you get Dark Proto away. I don't need to expain my every thought to him.

[iCherry]

Proto, can you get Dark Proto away. I don't need to expain my every thought to him.

 

explain*

/nazi

 

Also, instead of using that format they're complaining about, how about linking to the card and having the stats shown as: [ATK/DEF Level #]

That's how I did it.

[Ice.]

Proto's dead moron.

 

And here goes his Laharl personality.

[Proto]

Proto's dead, Dahila killed him for no apparent reason.

 

She did the same Carnage, Apoplex, Soundwave, Flowers and little Billy from across the street.

 

Ra'ad is currently hiding out in a unknown location for the rest of his life.

 

So I'm the only one!

[Headmaster Monokuma]

Proto's dead, Dahila killed him for no apparent reason.

 

She did the same Carnage, Apoplex, Soundwave, Flowers and little Billy from across the street.

 

Ra'ad is currently hiding out in a unknown location for the rest of his life.

 

So I'm the only one!

 

Not..

 

NOT FLOWERS.

 

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD DRINK TEA AND LOOK AT LIFE LIKE A GAME OF CHESS.

[iCherry]

Wait, Proto died?

... D:

 

Oh well, Dark Proto seems like a pretty cool guy and he doesn't afraid of anything.

[Nexev]

Yeah, Dahlia isn't good at expressing love.

 

 

Anyway Striker if it's what you say it is then why the f*** aren't you running the fairy deck?

 

And don't forget you have to lose to Cal, CAUSE IT'S THE ONLY COOL THING THAT WILL HAPPEN IN YOUR FIC!

[Nathanael D. Striker]

explain*/nazi

Also, instead of using that format they're complaining about, how about linking to the card and having the stats shown as: [ATK/DEF Level #]That's how I did it.

 

I don't know about that.

 

Proto's dead, Dahila killed him for no apparent reason.

She did the same Carnage, Apoplex, Soundwave, Flowers and little Billy from across the street.

Ra'ad is currently hiding out in a unknown location for the rest of his life.

So I'm the only one!

 

I should of been there to protect Proto. :(

[Proto]

Not..

 

NOT FLOWERS.

 

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD DRINK TEA AND LOOK AT LIFE LIKE A GAME OF CHESS.

I'm sorry for your loss Dane, Flowers is having tea with his maker now...

 

I'm sorry Cherry, Proto liked you quite a bit even when you were doing horrible things.

[Headmaster Monokuma]

I'm sorry for your loss Dane, Flowers is having tea with his maker now...

 

I'm sorry Cherry, Proto liked you quite a bit even when you were doing horrible things.

 

T.T

 

Poor, poor Flowers.

 

@Dahlia:

 

HOW COULD YOU?

 

YOU'RE A MONSTER!

[Nathanael D. Striker]

Dahila, you will face my wrath soon! No one kills people while I'm away or while I'm here.

[iCherry]

...I just looked back over Striker's fanfic.

You should REALLY put Mystical Space Typhoon. Don't use abbreviations in fanfics. It just makes it look bad.

 

Now if you all excuse me, I'm off to make an overpowered character for Striker's fic.

BAAAAAI~

 

@Dark Proto: Wait, can't we rebuild him?

[Nathanael D. Striker]

Thanks Zeo. I do better if it was a story for school and such. I just got my schedule today. Day 1 is going to be a walk in the park while Day 2 is going to be tough.

[Blake]

Wait, Striker, can I get a link/make a character?

[Proto]

@Dark Proto: Wait, can't we rebuild him?

Well Proto was actually constructed with the human lobe of Machina King, that gave him his personality, since his corpse has been cremated after the brain transplant we can no longer bring him back completely.

 

Striker, Proto did not mention you in his will, as such I shall assume that you are the person he refers to as "that guy that hangs around me that I don't get along with". I wish you good luck with fitting in here.

 

[Nathanael D. Striker]

I wasn't planing to have people make characters, but that might help. I need to think about that one.

[Ice.]

It's not good Striker. I don't like it. Work on your writing skills and DON'T make Mary Sues.

 

Dahila, you will face my wrath soon! No one kills people while I'm away or while I'm here.

 

Yeah yeah, blah blah blah.

[Nathanael D. Striker]

It's not good Striker. I don't like it. Work on your writing skills and DON'T make Mary Sues.

My writing is usually better. I guess the summer made me forget some of the stratigies I learned.

 

 

Yeah yeah, blah blah blah.

*shoots Dahila with machine gun*

 

That will teach you a lesson.

 

*runs away from Pain*