The Final Journey (Masterpiece made by War Torn) [Chapter 3 is up] Open to FoeFiction

[Guest War Torn]

A story that I put a lot of work in it. I hope you all enjoy it. Cnc if you like.

 

[spoiler=Prolouge]War has been apart of life for years. Some have more importance than others, some teach lessons. I remember of the time where a great war happened. The war was so great that it lasted over three hundred years. It was between multiple kingdoms throughout the world that started in the year 2395. Things returned to how they were during the time of Absolute Monarchs. This change happened during an organized revolt against Democracy. I am the descendent of the person who organized all this. It happened because there wasn’t strong enough leadership to control health regulations. People thought that rulers with absolute power were better off. That happened in the year 2095. People accepted the idea of Absolute Monarchs as a way of life. What they did not know was that another war would begin 300 years later by a family with a dark secret. I am the last survivor of this family and I can only say that we have a demon with the lust for war. It was that same demon that started this war. It is now the year 2700 and I have decided to break my silence and tell my story.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1]“Long live King Jonathan!” shouted a noble while crowning the new king.

 

“Long Live King Jonathan!” shouted the rest of the crowd. They all continued shouting together until signaled to stop.

 

It was Germany in the year 2680 and my younger brother Jonathan was crowned king of Germany at the age of 15. Our father had just died and a new king was needed. Even though I was the oldest I was not crowned king. On my father’s death bed, he said clearly that Jonathan was to be the next king. I was furious and left Germany. You could say that I let my demon take total control of me at that point. I left and went on a wild rampage, conquering near-by neutral kingdoms that weren’t in the war at the time. I was 25 at the time. When I was done conquering I was 30. My brother knew that near-by kingdoms were falling, but he didn’t know who was responsible. When he found out that it was I who was responsible, he set out to find me and punish me for the wrong I had done.

 

“My lord,” said Jonathan’s top advisor. “You can’t leave the kingdom with an army of a couple thousand. May I remind you that we are in the middle of a war and if the rival kingdoms or your brother happen to find you, you will be killed and Germany will be in a total panic.”

 

“I am aware of the danger,” replied Jonathan. “But I must free my brother from the demon that controls him. If I don’t, the world is doomed.”

 

“I can see what you mean my lord, but you could take an army of 20 thousand with you on your journey. It can give you more protection from your savage, blood thirsty Necrons your brother calls an army.”

 

“If I do, then it would be like an invitation for my brother to come and destroy me and Germany. Do you want what happened to Austria and Hungry to happen here?”

 

His advisor was speechless with Jonathan’s wisdom and left him alone. Jonathan set out three days later. I knew that he was coming for me from the demon inside me. Jonathan had a demon inside him and his demon communicated with mine which in turn told me he was coming. I prepared an ambush for him on the German-Austrian border. I commanded a force of five thousand to kill as many of his troops as they wanted, but to bring Jonathan to me.

 

“My demon has told me that my brother is coming for me,” I said to my troops. “If he wants that I shall help him. Go out to the German-Austrian border and wait there. Then, once he arrives, kill as many of his troops as you want, but I command for you to bring my brother to me.”

 

My troops gave a loud cheer and flew off to the border. My armies weren’t normal humans. They were humans fused with nanobots I created to make them deadlier and with abilities that regular humans couldn’t comprehend. My soldiers were like killer bees striking unsuspecting people during the summer.

 

“My lord you got to see the radar,” said General James VII. “It looks like we are going to have company. Five thousand Necrons are coming this way.”

 

“Looks like my brother is on to us,” replied Jonathan in an angry tone. “I wish I wasn’t cursed with this demon inside of me. The only reason he knows we are coming is that my demon and his demon must have communicated in some way, shape, or form.”

 

My forces then stuck his troops. They killed them right and left like a herd of zebras being ambushed by lions, cheetahs, and hunters at the same time. It wasn’t a pretty sight from what I heard.

 

“My master would like to see you in his castle Jonathan,” said the commanding Necron.

 

“I will never go with you scum!” shouted Jonathan while his demon went to work.

 

Something unexpected happened at that time. My brother’s demon found a way to make itself known. He managed to kill my army left and right like savage dogs hunting and killing rabbits in the country. Unexpectedly, one of my troops shot my brother with a demon suppressing dart which caused my brother to faint like a runner who was too out of breath that he couldn’t run anymore. They packed him like a wild animal to be brought to me, but what I didn’t know was that Italian troops were called by my brother to help him find me. They freed Jonathan and he retreated to the Italian-Austrian border to plan his next attack.

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2]“I want to strike now Joseph!” demanded Jonathan while he was in an Italian hospital. “I need to end this war and repay my brother for all the wrong he has done!”

 

“Sir,” replied Joseph. “You need to conserve your energy. You are in danger here in Italy. Your brother can send troops and he will get you. Besides, I have commanded troops to escort you to Paris through Italy. It’s too dangerous to go through Austria in your condition.” Joseph was the king of Italy. He was older than Jonathan. He was his uncle, but he was lucky to not get the demon. The demon only goes into the rulers of Germany. Once he became king of Italy, the demon left him and came to me.

 

“Alright then uncle,” answered Jonathan. “I will listen to you. When I do strike, promise me you’ll send twelve thousand men to help me. I have decided that an invasion is the only was I can get to my brother.”

 

“I know how hard this must be for you Jonathan,” told Joseph. “I will provide you with double the men you have asked for. I will also ask the French and Russians to come and help you. They are the only kingdoms not influenced by your brother.”

 

“Thank you uncle,” responded Jonathan. “I knew I could count on you.”

 

Just as Joseph promised, Jonathan made the journey to Paris. I knew about this about half way during Jonathan’s journey. I knew I couldn’t risk my Necrons going out to hunt him down because it could start a multi-front war. I was already dealing with one in Asia and Africa, but I couldn’t risk more fronts opening up. I decided to let him go. I had a great suspicion that it would be the last time my Necrons would get a hold of him.

 

[spoiler=Chapter 3]Jonathan made the safe travel to Paris. There was buzz all through the city about a king coming for the aid of another. It was unheard of at this time. People, however, weren’t rioting. They were respecting him as a French man because the French respected Germans as friends after they lead the revolution back into the time of the monarchs.

 

“Come in Jonathan, come in,” called King George XXI. “It’s so nice to see the young king of Germany come to Paris. What may I do for you today?” George then game a big laugh.

 

“I have come to Paris by the aid of King Joseph of Italy,” replied Jonathan. “He sent me here for safety after a failed attempt to reach my brother in Vienna.”

 

“Usually a campaign by a German is successful,” said George. “How many troops did you bring with you?” At that point my brother lied.

 

“I took four thousand with me,” responded Jonathan. “My brother sent five thousand. You can tell what happened there.”

 

“I can tell what happened there,” said George. “You made the same mistake Jeremiah made when he was king of Germany.”

 

“Do you mean the same Jeremiah who started this 300 year war?” asked Jonathan.

“The very same,” replied George in curiosity. “Didn’t your father tell you the story of King Jeremiah of Germany?”

 

“He has not,” said Jonathan. “He said that he would tell me a dark secret before he died, but he died so quickly.”

 

“I don’t remember the whole story, but I do know some of it,” replied George. “All I know is that it was he that made the demon. Before he died, a witch cursed him. That curse said that all his descendents would be cursed with a demon. That demon would have a lust for war. It would happen when a battle would be inevitable. The witch said that the curse will stay until the war was over. The war has been continuing for 300 years and the curse hasn’t been lifted up.”

 

After hearing that story, Jonathan headed off. He was surprised that it wasn’t his father’s fault. His objective now was to confront his brother. He took twenty thousand French Troops and headed for Germany.

 

“Sir,” said James. “We have enough troops for an invasion of Austria. Shall we proceed to head off through the border?”

 

“Yes,” replied Jonathan. “I have a lesson to teach my brother.”

 

With that, they went through the border. To my amazement, my Necrons captured them five hours after they crossed the border.

 

“My lord,” said the Commanding Necron. “We have captured him. He is in the main jail cell.”

 

“Good,” I said. “Bring him to me. I have something special planned for him.”

 

[Twig]

[spoiler=This was meant to be a short review, but it turned into a long one.]

War has been apart of life for years.

 

That's a great way to say it. How many years? We don't know. It could be millions' date=' thousands, or even just two years. I love how you use just years. You could have used centuries, millenniums, or you could have even said that war has always been [s']apart[/s] a part of life. But no. You just went with years. Great job. Genius.

 

Some have more importance than others, some teach lessons.

 

911 Emergency! We got a run-on on the loose!

 

I remember of the time where a great war happened.

 

Hey Grammar Nazi, where was your birthday?

 

Grammar Nazi: Where was my birthday? WHERE WAS MY BIRTHDAY?! WHAT KIND OF IDIOT REPLACES WHEN WITH WHERE?!

 

I'm sorry Grammar Nazi! I just looked at this sentence and thought I was correct. I promise, it won't happen again.

 

The war was so great that it lasted over three hundred years. It was between multiple kingdoms throughout the world that started in the year 2395.

 

Would it hurt to call it a World War?

 

Things returned to how they were during the time of Absolute Monarchs.

 

What is the thing anyways? Everything? How were they? Peaceful? Chaotic? Normal?

 

This change happened during an organized revolt against Democracy. I am the descendent of the person who organized all this. It happened because there wasn’t strong enough leadership to control health regulations. People thought that rulers with absolute power were better off.

 

lolwut

 

In a democracy, don't the people vote for their leaders? So isn't it their fault for choosing weak leaders? So by giving the weak leaders absolute power, the leaders become stronger? But that's not what's confusing me.

 

People actually think that giving all their power away to this one person, the world/country/nation is better off?

 

That happened in the year 2095. People accepted the idea of Absolute Monarchs as a way of life.

 

Yes, people decided that not having any control over their own country is a better way of life than before. And shouldn't you be calling it Absolute Monarchy?

 

What they did not know was that another war would begin 300 years later by a family with a dark secret.

 

Wait, there was a war before this? Is this an original world, or is it referring to the war in Iraq? I'm confused with all these dates and years.

 

I am the last survivor of this family and I can only say that we have a demon with the lust for war.

 

@Italicized: Either this is a fantasy story, or it's metaphorical. If it's metaphorical: I forgot what Crab said exactly, but here's what I remember. People think that these sentences sound cool, but they're just stupid.

 

Not only that, it's missing a comma! *Shock*

 

It was that same demon that started this war. It is now the year 2700 and I have decided to break my silence and tell my story.

 

911 Emergency! We have another missing comma!

 

I'm horrible at summing up a whole review, but let me give it a shot.

Well. We now know that your whole family will be killed, and your family probably lost the war. Spoil the entire story, why don't you?

 

For some reason, people decided to go back to the good ol days of kings and kingdoms. No more presidents and countries! That's good, right? Gee! I wonder! Why did we stop monarchies anyways? We've been missing out!

 

Well at least you don't have terribad grammar and spelling, although you still have mistakes that could have easily been fixed though proofreading. Also big blocks of text are frowned upon here.

 

Now I know how hard it is for Crab to write Foe Fictions.

 

Note: Just like what the title said, this never meant to be an MST, but once I did one line, I just had to do the next line. And no, I will not start a review series.

 

 

[Guest War Torn]

Thanks Twig for taking the time to read it. Some bits of the original were not saved when I printed it so I had to think up of some other things.