John Skie, Duelist Prodigy!

[WithTheWind]

[spoiler=Chapter 1 - The Entrance Duel]

It was 10:00 in Whiteveil City. The birds were singing in the trees, the children running through the grass. All was peaceful.

 

Then, in the distance, an unknown man briskly walked through the doors of Whiteveil Dueling Academy. The man had wavy, blonde hair with a pitch-black cape tied gently around his neck. On his outfit were spirals of gold, shining brilliantly in the academy lights.

 

"I'm here for my entry duel," he announced with confidence. "Oh, yes, this way Mr. Skie," said a cheerful young employee. "John, right?". "Yes," said John Skie. "Well then, John, allow me to show you to your opponent." As the two walked through the academy, the noise of the nearby duels flooded the building. "Here you are, Mr. Skie," said the employee as they scurried along. "So, you are John Skie. I have heard you possess much potential," said his opponent. He wore a white lab coat, accessorized with giant glasses. "Let's duel!"

 

"It's my turn, I draw!" said the man. "The rules are that we each begin with 4000 Life Points! Now, I special summon Jester Confit from my hand! I shall then tribute him to summon the almighty Thestalos the Firestorm Monarch! (ATK 2400) Now, because he was tribute summoned, you must randomly discard a card, and if it was a monster, you take damage equal to its level times 100! Now, discard the card on the far right!" "The card discarded was Destiny Hero - Dasher, so I take 600 points of damage," said John. (John: 3400) "I set 1 card face-down and end my turn!

 

"Very well then, I draw. Because my Dasher is in the graveyard, one time only, I can special summon a monster I draw during my draw phase, and that monster is Caius the Shadow Monarch! Come on out! (ATK 2400) Now, I activate Mystical Space Typhoon, destroying your face-down! (A black tornado forms, consuming the man's face-down card) I now summon Genex Controller! (ATK 1400) My level 3 Genex Controller tunes with my level 6 Caius, to synchro summon Locomotion R-Genex! (ATK 2500) His effect allows me to take control of the monster with the highest level on your side of the field, so Thestalos is now mine! Now, with your field empty, I attack you directly with both monsters!" (Man: 100) "Ha, is that it? I'm still standing!" the man said. "I activate Sparks, dealing 200 points of direct damage." "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The man cried in agony soon after realizing he had lost to Sparks.

 

 

Tomorrow I'll add a decent ending, when I'm not so tired. Does the idea look good so far?

[CrabHelmet]

Mind if I give my opinion?

[WithTheWind]

Mind if I give my opinion?

 

Yesh, be as harsh as you want.

[WithTheWind]

Bumpity bump bumperson of the bumpiest bumper of Bumpville?

[legendhiro]

sorry, i don't read anything with really long, dumb "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"s. "The man cried in agony" would have worked just as well on its own.

 

plus, as with EVERYTHING (!!!!!) here, it NEEDS DESCRIPTION! anything would do. even short, generic stories are made better with description. describe places. describe people (and monsters). describe interactions. something!