Pokemon: Legends of Alph

[Eury]

[align=center]Pokemon: Legends of Alph

 

Prologue

Centuries ago, a phoenix was born from ash. It was a majestic and powerful being, worshiped by all. As time passed, the phoenix could not control all the forces of nature by itself. So to fix it's problem, it created three dogs. The first dog was created with lighting. It was a speedy creature and was named Raikou by the people. The second dog was formed from the fiery magma within a volcano. The people of the region named this dog Entei. The third and final dog was a dog who was the embodiment of the north winds. This dog was acknowledged as the most holy of them, and was named Suicune. The people worshiped these creatures like Gods, as that is what they almost were. As centuries passed, the people built a tower in their honor, and the dogs decided to take refuge within the tower as it would protect them from dangerous forces outside. However, the dogs were not protected. The tower caught fire and the three beasts were trapped inside. They died and the people were distraught. The phoenix, the creator, the bringer of life, soon discovered what had happened to his creations. Using the mystical powers the phoenix was gifted with, he brought the dogs back to life as if nothing had happened. This sapped nearly all of the phoenix's strength, so he used the rest of it to mark three to be born children with emblems of the dogs. Their was the Emblem of Raikou, which was shaped like a lighting bolt. Their was the Emblem of Entei, shaped like a small ember. Then their was the Emblem of Suicune, which was shaped like a teardrop. These children were written in prophecy as the guardians of the dogs. It was their sole purpose in life to protect the dogs at all cost, as they kept nature in balance. With the phoenix using his last bit of strength to ensure the safety of his creation, he perished. All that remained of the majestic bird was a lone feather. It was a shiny feather of all the colors of the rainbow. The Monks of Ecruteak say that if this wing gets into the right hands and is taken to the Ruins of Alph, the mysterious Unown may use their power to resurrect the bird from the feather. But the Unown's near unstoppable power was sealed by the ancient Pokemon Uxie, Azelf and Mesprit. The pixies knew of their power to bring Pokemon back to life, so they left four puzzles. If these puzzles were solved, the Unown's power would be unsealed to the solver. However, to make sure no one of evil intentions solved the puzzles, they put up mystic barriers around them. If someone with evil goals tried getting pass the barrier, it is said that a Legendary Beast would appear from a world unknown and eat the trespasser. Those with good in their hearts would get through unscathed and the pixie Mesprit would appear to lead the traveler to the puzzle.

 

And so is the Legend of Alph.

 

 

[spoiler=Characters]

Name: Eur

Age: 16

Pokemon: Totodile

Battle Style: Offensive.

Hometown: New Bark Town

Personality: Humorous and sarcastic.

Emblem: Entei

 

Name: Amy

Age: 16

Pokemon: Chikorita, Gligar

Battle Style: Defense and Stall.

Hometown: New Bark Town

Personality: Extremely happy and social.

Emblem: Suicune

 

Name: Ethan

Age: 16

Pokemon: Cyndaquil

Battle Style: Speed.

Hometown: New Bark Town

Personality: Happy and confident.

Emblem: Raikou

 

Name: Silver

Age: 16

Pokemon: Murkrow

Battle Style: Anything to win.

Hometown: Cherrygrove

Personality: Extremely apathetic.

 

 

[spoiler=[b]Episode 1.[/b]]

Episode 1: A Journey Begun!

 

“PIDGEY PIDGEY PIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDGGGGGGGGY!” It was a cloudy Saturday morning and the Pidgey had begun chirping to wake the citizens of New Bark Town. One citizen wasn't so eager to get up, however. Eur lay in his bed, holding his pillow over his head in an attempt to deafen the noise of the bird Pokemon. As Eur kept pressing the head tighter on top of his head, his mother, Janice, came in through the door and pulled the blankets off of him. “It's time to get up Eur. You, Amy and Ethan all start your journey today. You need to go eat breakfast and prepare Totodile for the trip. That Pokemon is so immature. He found it funny to stick a Caterpie in my undergarments drawer this morning before I woke up.” Eur couldn't help but laugh.

“Haha. That's my Totodile. Has he eaten yet?” As Eur was talking he got up out of bed and started walking out towards the kitchen. Janice followed him and responded, “He's eating now. He really loves that Carvanha Crunch cereal.” As they got into the kitchen Totodile was sitting on the floor stuffing his face with cereal. Unfortunately in his rampaging feast, he had gotten cereal and milk all over the floor. “Goddammit Eur, you need to take more care of this thing. MISMAGIUS!” As she yelled, a purple Pokemon came floating in through the door. “Mismagius, could you please use your Psychic to clean all this up?” Mismagius nodded and it's eyes grew a bright purple. All the cereal and milk started floating off the floor and back into Totodile's bowl. Totodile looked at Mismagius with a bewildered look and then continued eating again.

“Eur, eat and go get dressed. Be quick, Elm wants you at his lab at 8:30. It's already 8:00.” Eur looked at his mom with a look of utter disbelief and said, “So you decide to wake me up when I only have thirty minutes to get ready? Unbelievable.” Eur grabbed a bagel out of the cupboard and ran back up to his room. He quickly put on his clothes while devouring the bagel. He grabbed some Poke Balls from his closet and went back to the kitchen. Totodile had finished eating and was waiting for Eur to come back. Janice looked back up at Eur and told him, “It's 8:15. Better get going. Did you remember your Pokegear?” Eur felt his pockets to see if he remembered to grab it but it wasn't there. “Bon of a sitch. Be right back.” Eur quickly ran to his room, grabbed the Gear, and ran back. “There, got it. Come on Toto, let's go. Love you mom!” “Love you too hun. See you later! Have a good time.”

Eur walked out the door with Totodile following close behind towards Professor Elm's lab. As he was walking he saw Amy not too far ahead with her Chikorita by her side. Eur decided to run up to her and say hi. So Eur quietly ran up behind her, grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her close yelling, “SODOMY!” Eur did not expect her to scream so loud. She quickly turned around and without even thinking slapped Eur across the face. As Eur fell to the ground holding his cheek, Amy covered her mouth with her hands and said, “Oh my Arceus Eur are you okay? I didn't know it was you, you scared the crap out of me.” She held out her hand to help Eur up. Eur took her hand but as he was coming up, he pulled her down. She yelped and fell face first on the ground. “There we go, I think we're even. So anyways...what's up?” Amy stood back up and patted the dirt on her shirt off while saying, “Oh, nothing much. I'm kinda nervous though. I mean, we have to travel the entire Johto region. Just the three of us together.” “Amy, speaking of three, where's Ethan?” “Oh, he called me a couple minutes ago. He said he's already at the lab waiting for us to get there. So, we should hurry up.” Amy and Eur started walking towards the lab, talking about stuff they did during the week. Totodile and Chikorita were following close behind, also talking to each other in their Pokemon lingo. As they all reached Elm's lab, Amy picked up Chikorita and Eur pulled Totodile close telling him, “Toto, I swear to Arceus if you misbehave you will face the most horrific punishment you can imagine. No more Carvanha Crunch cereal for a month! Am I understood?” Toto looked at Eur with a horrified face nodding slowly. The mere thought of not being able to eat the cereal made Totodile flinch. “Alrighty then, let's go.” The automatic doors swung open and they all walked in seeing Ethan and Elm talking to each other.

“Eur my man! Sup bro?” Ethan got up from his conversation and came over to bro fist Eur and hug Amy. “Bout time you guys got here, Elm was getting impatient.”

“Indeed I was.” Elm got up from the couch and walked over to the three teens. He shook hands with Eur and Amy and said, “Now, let's get talking shall we? I'm sure you guys know why you're here. You're about to go on a journey all across Johto to take the Pokemon League Challenge. Now, how do you guys plan on doing this? Are you all going together or by yourselves?” Ethan spoke up and quickly said, “I'm planning on going by myself. I'm sure Cyndaquil and I can take care of ourselves.” Elm looked at Ethan and nodded. “Eur? Amy? What do you two plan on doing?”

Eur looked at Amy and she looked back. Eur knew she really didn't want to go by herself, so he smiled and said, “Amy and I are going together.” Amy smiled and whispered “thank you” to Eur. Elm smiled. “Very well then. So you guys don't end up taking the same path, I suggest Ethan goes north of Route 29 and detours through Dark Cave to get to Violet City. Your Cyndaquil's flame should provide enough light to see in the cave. Eur and Amy, you two should take the traditional path through Cherrygrove and Routes 30 and 31. Ethan will get to Violet faster, but you two should get more training in. Now before you leave, I'll give you guys a tip. No, two tips. First tip, in Violet City there is a building called the Sprout Tower. If you go to the highest floor, you will find the Elder. If you can defeat him in a battle, he'll teach your Pokemon the move Flash. Second tip, the Gym Leader of Violet City is named Falkner. He uses Flying type Pokemon so Amy, you should probably catch something else as Chikorita might not do so well.” Chikorita stuck her tongue out at Elm and turned away from him. Amy laughed and picked Chikorita up hugging her. “It's okay honey.” Elm looked at the three again and nodded. “Okay. You guys are ready. Be careful and have fun!” All three turned towards the door and said, “Thanks for all the help!”

They all walked towards Route 29 and as they approached it Ethan turned to Amy and Eur. “Well, I guess this is goodbye for now I guess. See you guys soon I hope!” Ethan hugged Amy, shook Eur's hand, then walked up north towards Dark Cave with Cyndaquil following close behind. Amy and Eur looked at each other and nodded. They began walking together towards Cherrygrove with Chikorita and Totodile. Their journey was now underway.

 

 

 

[spoiler=[b]Episode 2.[/b]]

Episode 2: Assistance Reaps Rewards

 

Route 29 was a beautiful route filled with trees, flowers and a good lot of Pokemon. Butterfree and Beautifly crowded the flowers to get pollen. Heracross clung to trees eating sap. Poochyena playfully attacked each other while mother Mightyena kept close watch. Slakoth laid lazily on the trees staring at the various bird Pokemon that decided to perch themselves nearby. Ledian and Ledyba flew across the flowers looking for food while Ariados and Spinarak waited patiently on their webs for an unfortunate bug Pokemon to get caught. Eur and Amy watched all of this as they were walking threw the gorgeous route. Chikorita and Totodile followed closely behind, occasionally stopping to pick at a flower or to say hello to a fellow Pokemon. Eur and Amy had to stop too because of this, so they eventually told them to stop since it was slowing them down. They were nearing the city near nightfall when they noticed a Gligar had got itself caught in a web. A trio of Ariados and a quad of Spinarak were slowly nearing their prey, and the Gligar watched on horrified, as it knew it's life was coming to a close. Eur was worried and tried thinking of what to do when Amy started running towards the web.

“Chikorita, use Razor Leaf to free that Gligar!” Chikorita, running close behind her, twirled the leaf on it's head and several smaller razor sharp leaves flew towards the web. They sliced right through and the Gligar was free. The Spinarak went back up into the tree to start making a new web, but the Ariados were pissed and started running towards Amy. They all launched a String Shot attack when the Gligar flew in front of her and formed a bright, green barrier around Amy. “Huh, it must be using Protect...”

When the Ariados stopped shooting the fine silk, Gligar put down the barrier and made several copies of itself using Double Team. It along with it's clones then used Poison Sting to attack the Ariados. They were direct hits and the Ariados fled back into their tree. When the clones disappeared, Gligar flew over to Amy pointing at her waist. She looked down to see what it was pointing at and she saw one of her empty Poke Balls. She then looked back up at Gligar and it smiled.

“You...want to go in the Poke Ball? You want to travel with me?” Gligar nodded it's head several times and kept pointing. “Okay.” She smiled and threw the Poke Ball at Gligar. The small, red ball fell to the ground and shook three times. On the third shake, the middle glowed a bright red and it stopped shaking. Amy picked the Poke Ball up and put it back at her waist. Her and Chikorita quickly ran back to Eur and she started yelling, “Eur! Eur! I caught a Pokemon! Did you see? Did you see? Huh? Did you, did you?” Amy had gotten really close to Eur's face and she was staring intently into his eyes waiting for an answer. Eur pushed her back a little and said, “Yes Amy, I saw. I'm not blind. Congratulations.” He smiled and she smiled back. “Now, can we go to Cherrygrove? We've been walking all day. I want to get to a Pokemon Center.”

“Fine. Let's go.” They continued walking for about ten minutes and finally reached the city. Both of them quickly made for the Pokemon Center. As Eur was holding the door open for Amy, a Murkrow came out of nowhere and attacked Totodile. “Totodile! Are you okay?” Totodile quickly jumped to it's feet and nodded. The Murkrow looped around and made for Totodile again. “Toto use Water Gun!” Totodile shot a jet of water at the Murkrow but it avoided the attack and tackled Totodile once more. As it looped around again a red-headed boy about the same age as Eur walked out of the brush.

“Haha, you're Totodile is so weak. It can just barely take a second Aerial Ace. Pathetic. I would release that Totodile as soon as I got the chance.” Eur looked at the boy with disgust. “Who the hell are you? You ambushed my Totodile, of course he's having trouble taking these hits. He didn't even know the first one was coming!” The boy laughed. “Excuses, excuses. Murkrow, finish his weak Pokemon off with Sky Attack.” Murkrow's eyes glowed a bright orange and it quickly flew down with an orange trail behind it ready to knockout Totodile. “VIIIILLLLLEEEE!” As the Murkrow approached Toto, a Pokemon flew down from a tree striking Murkrow with a fist of ice. It backflipped off of the knocked out bird revealing itself to be a Weavile. The red head looked at the Weavile with an angry look. “Tch, get lost you worthless piece of crap! This isn't your battle.” As he said this, an elderly man walked towards him from behind Eur. In a hoarse voice, the old man spoke to the boy. “It became his battle when you ambushed this child's Totodile. My Weavile and I, we do not take kindly to cheaters. That is why I had him ambush your Murkrow with Ice Punch, to see how you liked it. It appears you don't like it all. So please, Silver, leave these children alone and go elsewhere.” Silver had a slight look of shock on his face while the old man was talking to him. But after the old man told him to leave, he looked angry. “Fine. I'll go. I'll go and become the greatest trainer ever! Come on Murkrow.” Murkrow slowly got up and flew after Silver towards Route 30.

The old man started walking home with Weavile when Eur gently stopped him. The old man turned around and asked, “May I help you, son?” Eur looked at him, then Weavile, then Toto, then back at the man. “Sir...in the morning...could you perhaps teach my Totodile how to use Ice Punch? It would surely help if we ever came across that Silver again.” The man looked at Eur while musing the matter. After a few seconds he replied, “Yes. I shall have my Weavile teach Totodile Ice Punch. But in return, you and your friend must company this lonely old man at his home. We can have tea and biscuits while discussing Pokemon.” Eur smiled. “Of course. I owe it to you for saving Totodile.”

“Very well then, boy, my house is the one closest to the sea on the left. Be there at 8:00AM sharp. See you then. Come, Weavile.” With that, the old man and Weavile started walking towards his house. Eur told him good-bye, and walked back towards the Pokemon Center. He came in to see Amy waiting on the bench near the door. She quickly stood up and said, “Took you long enough! Come on, I want to go to sleep.” Eur, taken aback, asked, “Were you not paying any attention to what happened?” She looked confused and quickly replied “no”. Eur sighed and quickly explained what happened. Instead of expressing concern towards Totodile, she yelled, “8:00?!?! Eur, I didn't want to wake up till 10!!!”

“Amy, you'll be fine. There's a rest house on Route 30 so we can take a quick nap on the way to Violet.” She turned away and started walking towards the stairs. “There better be, now let's go. While you were being ambushed, I got our rooms booked.” Eur followed her upstairs to the room. When they got in, Totodile and Chikorita quickly jumped into the beds and fell asleep. Amy let Gligar out to join them while she went to the bath room to change into pajamas. Eur did the same after she finished. After saying goodnight, they quickly fell asleep.

 

 

[spoiler=[b]Episode 3.[/b]]

Episode 3: Breaking the Ice

 

“Mmm, no, no, no I don't want to get up...nooooo. I don't want tooooo. Eur stop it!” Amy was holding the bars of the bed tightly while Eur was trying to pull her off. It was 7:30 and Amy still needed to get ready. “Dammit Amy, we have to be there by 8:00. Get your ass up and get dressed. Totodile, use Bite.” Before the Pokemon could chomp down on her leg, she quickly got up and yelled “FINE!”. She walked into the bathroom to get ready. Eur sighed and looked at Totodile. “And we still have the entire region to go with that.” Totodile shook his head and sighed as well. After a few minutes Amy came back and put Gligar back in it's Poke Ball. “Alright then let's go.” They both walked downstairs and quickly returned the key to their room. As it was 7:55, they made quick haste towards the old man's house. At exactly 8, they reached the door and rang the door bell. After a few seconds, the old man opened the door with Weavile at his side.

“Ah, good timing. Come in, come in. Weavile will take Totodile out back to tutor him while we drink and eat and talk.” Weavile grabbed Totodile by the shoulder and took him to the backyard. Eur and Amy followed the elderly man to his living room where tea and biscuits were already laid on a table. “Sit, sit. Allow me to tell you a couple things about myself. My name is Mr. Pine. I am a former Pokemon Professor. After retiring from that, I taught at the Trainer's School in Violet City for a couple years. Now I live here with my Weavile. I like to fish during the weekends and train Weavile during the week. That is why Weavile is teaching Totodile by himself. I have taught him so much he can teach other Pokemon himself. I'm sure you're Toto will be using Ice Punch within an hour. So, what Pokemon do you two like to use?” Eur looked at Amy to see if she wanted to talk first, but she said nothing so he responded instead.

“I prefer Pokemon on the offensive side. Pokemon that can hit hard without giving the opponent the chance to hit back.” Mr. Pine nodded and looked at Amy. “What about you lass?” Amy looked at him and said, “Defense. I like defense. Stalling and annoying the opponent is fun to me.” Mr. Pine laughed. “A great strategy stall is. Besides your Totodile and Chikorita, do you two have any other Pokemon?” Eur shook his head while Amy nodded. “I recently caught a Gligar. I don't know how defensive a Gligar is though...” Mr. Pine looked at Amy and hid a small smile. “As a Gligar, he's not very defensive. He's more of a speedy, offensive Pokemon. But when he evolves, he also becomes a defensive Pokemon. He'll fit quite well into your team lass.”Amy grinned. I knew I made the right choice in catching you Gligar.

Mr. Pine, Eur and Amy continued talking for about an hour about Pokemon while drinking tea and eating biscuits. Mr. Pine told stories of his time as a trainer, Amy told stories about her trips to the Hoenn region while visiting the Champion Steven, her uncle, and Eur told stories of Totodile's adventures into mischief. They shared many laughs and enjoyed each others stories. As they were in the middle of a story Mr. Pine was telling, Weavile came walking back into the room with Totodile. Weavile muttered to Mr. Pine and he nodded. “Eur, your Totodile is ready. It has learned Ice Punch. You should see it use the new technique. Follow me.” Mr. Pine got up and walked towards the back while Eur, Amy, Totodile, Chikorita and Weavile followed. When they reached the back, there were frozen pieces of wood everywhere. Mr. Pine grabbed a fresh piece of wood from the fagot and set it upright in front of Totodile. “Eur, give the command.”

“Totodile, use Ice Punch!” As Eur said this, Totodile's fist shined a bright blue and it punched the wood, freezing it and breaking it completely in half. Totodile hopped around in excitement while Eur stood impressed. “Good job Toto! I'm proud of you.” Toto smiled and hopped around some more. Eur turned to Weavile and said “thank you” while Weavile just nodded.

“Well then Eur, Amy, I guess you two better get going. You have far to go to Violet and it's best to get going now. I wish you both a safe and fun trip. Good luck!” Eur and Amy both said thank you and began walking out towards Route 30.

Pineco hung from the trees while Forretress hovered almost motionless near them. Poliwag, Poliwhirl and Politoad played in the nearby ponds while Surskit slid across the water's surface and Masquerain flew above the water dropping down every few seconds for a drink. Rattata and Raticate ran from bush to bush playing with each other and having little battles over berries they had found. Taillow and Swellow could be seen flying above the trees searching for food. There was little space where there was no life running amok. Pokemon could be seen everywhere along the route. Eur and Amy found it a fascinating sight to behold.

As they were walking, they saw a group of Mankey crowding around and kicking something they could not see. They ran closer shooing the Mankey away. When the Mankey dispersed a Ralts was lying on the ground crying and moaning in pain. This was no ordinary Ralts, however. Instead of it's head being the usual green, it was blue. Eur was ecstatic and worried at the same time. They had found a shiny Pokemon, but at the same time it was severely injured. He picked it up carefully and held it close then turned to Amy and pointed at a hill up ahead. “The rest house should be up on that hill. We need to take this Ralts there for care.” Amy nodded and they started running up the route. A few minutes after running Eur and Amy noticed that the Mankey from earlier were following them, but they had a new friend coming along with them. A Primeape was leading their ranks and it didn't look happy. Eur was wondering why they were so angry with the Ralts when he noticed what the Ralts was holding, the soft inside of a chestnut. Eur tried to remove the chestnut from the Ralts' hands, but despite it's weakened state it wouldn't let go. Eur swore and yelled, “Totodile, Water Gun! Amy, get Chikorita to send a Sleep Powder through the Water Gun!”

Amy nodded and told Chikorita to do so. As Totodile was shooting water at the angry Pokemon, Chikorita sent a green powder into the stream which put them all to sleep on contact. The Primeape however, was refusing to fall asleep. When it noticed it's kin had fallen asleep, it jumped down onto the ground. It started running towards Totodile preparing a Focus Punch. “Totodile, hurry up and use Ice Punch!” Totodile jumped in the air and before the Primeape could do anything, Toto hit him right across the top of the head. Primeape fell to the ground and acknowledging that it might not win, it decided to run back into the forest. Eur told Totodile to hurry up and they continued running towards the rest home.

After a couple minutes of running, they reached the home. They quickly walked inside and a lady approached them from what looked like a kitchen. “Oh dear, what happened to this poor Pokemon?” She took the Ralts from Eur's hands and laid it down on a bed. She pulled a Potion from her pocket and begun spraying Ralts where it was wounded. All while she was doing this Eur explained everything that happened. “What a brave little Pokemon. Hmm....wait...this is a Ralts correct?” Eur looked at her and told her it was indeed a Ralts. “Aren't Ralts green? This one is blue...” Eur then remembered that the Ralts was shiny.

“Oh yeah! Ma'am, this Ralts is a shiny Pokemon. When a Pokemon is shiny they are a different color than usual. Shiny Pokemon are extremely rare.” The lady nodded and put a blanket over Ralts. “If either of you or your Pokemon is tired, feel free to take a nap in one of these beds. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.” Eur quickly replied, “Oh no ma'am. We need to get to Violet City. We haven't the time for naps.” At that Amy pulled Eur's face close to hers and she muttered in a very serious but quiet tone, “You said I could take a nap. I'm going to take a nap. You're taking a nap. Do you understand?” Eur nodded with a scared visage and told the lady that he's changed his mind and they're staying. Amy quickly took off her shoes and bag and laid down on the bed nearest her. Eur wasn't as fast but he laid down too and ended up falling asleep along with Amy and their Pokemon. Since he might have a new Pokemon to take care of in Ralts, he decided it was for the best that he get some rest.

 

 

 

Note: Yes, I did change the legend of Ho-oh around a little bit. New Chapters will be edited into posts. Links to said chapters will be posted here. I apologize if the story seems a bit slow. I'm making it slightly like the Anime, which is why I called them episodes instead of chapters.[/align]

[Eury]

i r bump dis

[Twig]

Big block of small italicized text burns my eyes!

 

I've only read the prologue, and I noticed a couple of grammar and punctuation errors.

 

[spoiler=Fixed Version]

Centuries ago, a phoenix was born from ash. It was a majestic and powerful being, worshiped by all. As time passed, the phoenix could not control all the forces of nature by itself. So to fix its problem, it created three dogs. The first dog was created with lighting. It was a speedy creature and was named Raikou by the people. The second dog was formed from the fiery magma within a volcano. The people of the region named this dog Entei. The third and final dog was a dog who was the embodiment of the north winds. This dog was acknowledged as the most holy of them and was named Suicune. The people worshiped these creatures like Gods, as that is what they almost were. As centuries passed, the people built a tower in their honor, and the dogs decided to take refuge within the tower as it would protect them from dangerous forces outside. However, the dogs were not protected. The tower caught fire, and the three beasts were trapped inside. They died, and the people were distraught. The phoenix, the creator, the bringer of life, soon discovered what had happened to his creations. Using the mystical powers the phoenix was gifted with, he brought the dogs back to life as if nothing had happened. This sapped nearly all of the phoenix's strength, so he used the rest of it to mark three to be born children with emblems of the dogs. Their was the Emblem of Raikou, which was shaped like a lighting bolt. Their was the Emblem of Entei, shaped like a small ember. Then their was the Emblem of Suicune, which was shaped like a teardrop. These children were written in prophecy as the guardians of the dogs. It was their sole purpose in life to protect the dogs at all cost, as they kept nature in balance. With the phoenix using his last bit of strength to ensure the safety of his creations, he perished. All that remained of the majestic bird was a lone feather. It was a shiny feather of all the colors of the rainbow. The Monks of Ecruteak say that if this wing gets into the right hands and is taken to the Ruins of Alph, the mysterious Unown may use their power to resurrect the bird from the feather. But the Unown's near unstoppable power was sealed by the ancient Pokemon Uxie, Azelf and Mesprit. The pixies knew of their power to bring Pokemon back to life, so they left four puzzles. If these puzzles were solved, the Unown's power would be unsealed to the solver. However, to make sure no one with evil intentions solved the puzzles, they put up mystic barriers around them. If someone with evil goals tried to pass the barrier, it is said that a Legendary Beast would appear from an unknown world and eat the trespasser. Those with good in their hearts would get through unscathed, and the pixie Mesprit would appear to lead the traveler to the puzzle.

 

And so is the Legend of Alph.

 

[Eury]

YES, LET YOUR EYES BURN

 

No, it's stays it's. It shows possession.

I'll fix the Raikou and passed problems. (can't believe I let those happen)

Everything else is fine.

[Twig]

YES' date=' LET YOUR EYES BURN

 

No, it's stays it's. It shows possession.

I'll fix the Raikou and passed problems. (can't believe I let those happen)

Everything else is fine.

[/quote']

 

loleury

 

Main Entry: it's

Pronunciation: \ˈits, əts\

Date: circa 1555

 

: it is : it has

 

Main Entry: its

Pronunciation: \ˈits, əts\

Function: adjective

Date: circa 1507

 

: of or relating to it or itself especially as possessor, agent, or object of an action

 

You can't screw the dictionary, it has money!

[Eury]

YES' date=' LET YOUR EYES BURN

 

No, it's stays it's. It shows possession.

I'll fix the Raikou and passed problems. (can't believe I let those happen)

Everything else is fine.

[/quote']

 

loleury

 

Main Entry: it's

Pronunciation: \ˈits, əts\

Date: circa 1555

 

: it is : it has

 

Main Entry: its

Pronunciation: \ˈits, əts\

Function: adjective

Date: circa 1507

 

: of or relating to it or itself especially as possessor, agent, or object of an action

 

You can't screw the dictionary, it has money!

 

But I'm Eury, so I can screw whatever the hell I want to. :D

 

Edit: I made the text normal size for the episodes.

[Eury]

i r bump dis again

[Headmaster Monokuma]

It's good for the most part. I want to know why they wouldn't let me take the Dark Cave shortcut with my Cyndaquil. Dang it Eury, you forgot the British Man's crumpets. That makes me a sad person. Now we need to hire someone to review your story... How about lol-Pichu-?

[Eury]

It's good for the most part. I want to know why they wouldn't let me take the Dark Cave shortcut with my Cyndaquil. Dang it Eury' date=' you forgot the British Man's crumpets. That makes me a sad person. Now we need to hire someone to review your story... How about lol-Pichu-?

[/quote']

 

I still can't believe I forgot the crumpets. D:

 

And I guess. But you're PMing him because I have no idea who he is.

[Headmaster Monokuma]

It's good for the most part. I want to know why they wouldn't let me take the Dark Cave shortcut with my Cyndaquil. Dang it Eury' date=' you forgot the British Man's crumpets. That makes me a sad person. Now we need to hire someone to review your story... How about lol-Pichu-?

[/quote']

 

I still can't believe I forgot the crumpets. D:

 

And I guess. But you're PMing him because I have no idea who he is.

 

lol. He is the worst reviewer, writer, and RP'er ever. You don't want him to. He has a thread farther down the page I believe.

 

How dare you forget the Crumpets of Power! Everything else was nice through.

[Twig]

I just read chapter episode one.

 

I love how Eur and his mom don't even hug each other when Eur is about to go into a journey that would probably take months to complete. I also love how his mom says "see you later!"

[Brushfire]

My only criticism is that the chapters/episodes are WAY too short. I guess I'm simply used to 15+ pages of A4 per chapter.

[Eury]

My only criticism is that the chapters/episodes are WAY too short. I guess I'm simply used to 15+ pages of A4 per chapter.

 

Dude...15 pages? Mine were only like 2 or 3. D:

 

And that's a lot for me.

[Mehmani]

You're a decent writer, I'll give you that, but your punctuation could use some work.

 

Not bad, keep it up.

[Eury]

You're a decent writer' date=' I'll give you that, but your punctuation could use some work.

 

Not bad, keep it up.

[/quote']

 

I was never good with punctuation. D:

 

And thankees. <3

[Enrise]

You show no respect for me anymore. D:

You didn't link me up with this.

 

'Tis good however.

[Toffee.]

“Eur' date=' give the command.”

“Totodile, use Ice Punch!” As Eur said this, Totodile's fist shined a bright blue and it punched the wood, freezing it and breaking it completely in half. Totodile hopped around in excitement while Eur stood impressed. “Good job Toto! I'm proud of you.” Toto smiled and hopped around some more[/quote']

Toto <3

This moment was both lulz and cute at the same time.

[Eury]

They see me bumpin, dey luvin

[Pichu]

There is Weather Reports, Foe Fiction, and Phantom's Divination's. These topics showed us that we have great, good, and terrible writers here on YCM. But now there is a new review topic. As a Pokemon will review FanFics. Pichu's reviews. A new generation of reviewing has come.

 

[spoiler=#8: Pichu's Back!: Pokemon Legends of Alph by Eury]

Hello readers! I have returned from the hospital! I don't plan on having the Ojama's back soon! Well, it's time for my review of Pokemon: Legends of Alph!

 

Episode 1: A Journey Begun!

 

“PIDGEY PIDGEY PIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDGGGGGGGGY!”

 

I will now try to talk to Pidgey's in our native language: Picha! Pichu! Pi-Pi!

 

Dude, we can speak human too.

 

Dang....

 

It was a cloudy Saturday morning and the Pidgey had begun chirping to wake the citizens of New Bark Town.

 

Cloudy, Saturday, Morning, Pidgey, and Johto. We have a nice description.

 

One citizen wasn't so eager to get up, however. Eur lay in his bed, holding his pillow over his head in an attempt to deafen the noise of the bird Pokemon.

 

Eur is just Eury minus the 'Y'. You have a open mind, Eury. [insert Sarcasm Tag Here]

 

As Eur kept pressing the head tighter on top of his head, his mother, Janice, came in through the door and pulled the blankets off of him. “It's time to get up Eur. You, Amy

 

Rose the Hedgehog,

 

and Ethan all start your journey today.

 

Eur, Ethan, and Amy Rose the Hedgehog!

 

I don't want to be in this FanFic!

 

Amy, I was making a joke!

 

You need to go eat breakfast and prepare Totodile for the trip. That Pokemon is so immature. He found it funny to stick a Caterpie in my undergarments drawer this morning before I woke up.” Eur couldn't help but laugh.

 

Slap Stick Gold Comedy.

 

“Haha. That's my Totodile. Has he eaten yet?” As Eur was talking he got up out of bed and started walking out towards the kitchen. Janice followed him and responded, “He's eating now. He really loves that Carvanha Crunch cereal.”

 

WTF? They're eating Carvanha now!

 

Tasty, tasty!

 

Weirdo, weirdo! Freaking water types always have the weird cravings.

 

As they got into the kitchen Totodile was sitting on the floor stuffing his face with cereal. Unfortunately in his rampaging feast, he had gotten cereal and milk all over the floor. “Goddammit Eur, you need to take more care of this thing. MISMAGIUS!” As she yelled, a purple Pokemon came floating in through the door. “Mismagius, could you please use your Psychic to clean all this up?” Mismagius nodded and it's eyes grew a bright purple. All the cereal and milk started floating off the floor and back into Totodile's bowl. Totodile looked at Mismagius with a bewildered look

 

I look like that too if a monster just glowed and milk floated!

 

and then continued eating again.

 

CONTINUE EATING?!?!?! Weirdo Totodile!

 

I was hungry!

 

“Eur, eat and go get dressed. Be quick, Elm wants you at his lab at 8:30. It's already 8:00.”

 

Kay, Pidgey's! We need to attack Eur on his way to the lab so he'll be late!

 

Eur looked at his mom with a look of utter disbelief and said, “So you decide to wake me up when I only have thirty minutes to get ready? Unbelievable.”

 

Not as believable as waking up late and not getting a starter, but you get a Electric Bastard who won't listen to you and won't get in a Pokeball!

 

Eur grabbed a bagel out of the cupboard and ran back up to his room. He quickly put on his clothes while devouring the bagel. He grabbed some Poke Balls from his closet and went back to the kitchen. Totodile had finished eating and was waiting for Eur to come back. Janice looked back up at Eur and told him, “It's 8:15. Better get going.

 

It took him 15 minutes to eat a bagel and put on clothes?

 

Did you remember your Pokegear?” Eur felt his pockets to see if he remembered to grab it but it wasn't there. “Bon of a sitch.

 

Bon of a sitch?

 

I thought it was Son of a B***h?

 

Be right back.” Eur quickly ran to his room, grabbed the Gear, and ran back. “There, got it. Come on Toto, let's go. Love you mom!” “Love you too hun. See you later! Have a good time.”

Eur walked out the door with Totodile following close behind towards Professor Elm's lab. As he was walking he saw Amy not too far ahead with her Chikorita by her side.

 

Amy's Chikorita is nice and pretty and caring and pretty!

 

Eur decided to run up to her and say hi. So Eur quietly ran up behind her, grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her close yelling, “SODOMY!”

 

I thought it was SonAmy?

 

It's really ShadAmy.

 

He-he, Shadow. :3

 

Eur did not expect her to scream so loud. She quickly turned around and without even thinking slapped Eur across the face. As Eur fell to the ground holding his cheek, Amy covered her mouth with her hands and said, “Oh my Arceus Eur are you okay? I didn't know it was you, you scared the crap out of me.” She held out her hand to help Eur up.

 

Oh my Arceus? Really? I think it would be better if it was 'Oh my Qwilfish!'

 

Eur took her hand but as he was coming up, he pulled her down. She yelped and fell face first on the ground. “There we go, I think we're even. So anyways...what's up?” Amy stood back up and patted the dirt on her shirt off while saying, “Oh, nothing much. I'm kinda nervous though. I mean, we have to travel the entire Johto region. Just the three of us together.” “Amy, speaking of three, where's Ethan?” “Oh, he called me a couple minutes ago. He said he's already at the lab waiting for us to get there. So, we should hurry up.”

 

Go Pidgey's! Attack!

 

Amy and Eur started walking towards the lab, talking about stuff they did during the week. Totodile and Chikorita were following close behind, also talking to each other in their Pokemon lingo.

 

They said:

Toto: Isn't that Pichu guy such a God?

Chiko: I know right?

 

As they all reached Elm's lab, Amy picked up Chikorita and Eur pulled Totodile close telling him, “Toto, I swear to Arceus

 

Swear to Qwilfish!

 

if you misbehave you will face the most horrific punishment you can imagine. No more Carvanha Crunch cereal for a month! Am I understood?” Toto looked at Eur with a horrified face nodding slowly. The mere thought of not being able to eat the cereal made Totodile flinch. “Alrighty then, let's go.” The automatic doors swung open and they all walked in seeing Ethan and Elm talking to each other.

“Eur my man! Sup bro?” Ethan got up from his conversation and came over to bro fist Eur and hug Amy. “Bout time you guys got here, Elm was getting impatient.”

 

It just dawned on me that everyone has Pokemon, why go to Elm's.

 

“Indeed I was.” Elm got up from the couch and walked over to the three teens. He shook hands with Eur and Amy and said, “Now, let's get talking shall we? I'm sure you guys know why you're here. You're about to go on a journey all across Johto to take the Pokemon League Challenge.

 

I think Amy should be a Cornianter.

 

And Chikorita!!!

 

Now, how do you guys plan on doing this? Are you all going together or by yourselves?” Ethan spoke up and quickly said, “I'm planning on going by myself. I'm sure Cyndaquil and I can take care of ourselves.” Elm looked at Ethan and nodded. “Eur? Amy? What do you two plan on doing?”

Eur looked at Amy and she looked back. Eur knew she really didn't want to go by herself, so he smiled and said, “Amy and I are going together.” Amy smiled and whispered “thank you” to Eur. Elm smiled. “Very well then. So you guys don't end up taking the same path, I suggest Ethan goes north of Route 29 and detours through Dark Cave to get to Violet City. Your Cyndaquil's flame should provide enough light to see in the cave. Eur and Amy, you two should take the traditional path through Cherrygrove and Routes 30 and 31. Ethan will get to Violet faster, but you two should get more training in.

 

What's wrong Ethan? Leaving your friends. But maybe there will be sparks between Eur and Amy! (Hint-hint)

 

Now before you leave, I'll give you guys a tip. No, two tips. First tip, in Violet City there is a building called the Sprout Tower. If you go to the highest floor, you will find the Elder. If you can defeat him in a battle, he'll teach your Pokemon the move Flash. Second tip, the Gym Leader of Violet City is named Falkner.

 

I think that Falkner's real name is Fu*kner.

 

He uses Flying type Pokemon so Amy, you should probably catch something else as Chikorita might not do so well.” Chikorita stuck her tongue out at Elm and turned away from him. Amy laughed and picked Chikorita up hugging her. “It's okay honey.”

 

It's okay honey! But if I battle Fu*kner with you, he would kill you!

 

Elm looked at the three again and nodded. “Okay. You guys are ready. Be careful and have fun!” All three turned towards the door and said, “Thanks for all the help!”

They all walked towards Route 29 and as they approached it Ethan turned to Amy and Eur. “Well, I guess this is goodbye for now I guess. See you guys soon I hope!” Ethan hugged Amy, shook Eur's hand, then walked up north towards Dark Cave with Cyndaquil following close behind. Amy and Eur looked at each other and nodded. They began walking together towards Cherrygrove with Chikorita and Totodile. Their journey was now underway.

 

They nodded. No kiss or passionate hug? Lame....

 

It's Eury's story, Shadow!

 

I will read the rest of this FanFic! I want to read that epic battle between Eur and Fu*kner!

---------------------------------------

Thanks to my guest stars:

Pidgey, Amy Rose, Totodile, and Shadow the Hedgehog!

 

 

[Pichu]

There is Weather Reports, Foe Fiction, and Phantom's Divination's. These topics showed us that we have great, good, and terrible writers here on YCM. But now there is a new review topic. As a Pokemon will review FanFics. Pichu's reviews. A new generation of reviewing has come.

 

[spoiler=#8: Pichu's Back!: Pokemon Legends of Alph by Eury]

Hello readers! I have returned from the hospital! I don't plan on having the Ojama's back soon! Well, it's time for my review of Pokemon: Legends of Alph!

 

Episode 1: A Journey Begun!

 

“PIDGEY PIDGEY PIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDGGGGGGGGY!”

 

I will now try to talk to Pidgey's in our native language: Picha! Pichu! Pi-Pi!

 

Dude, we can speak human too.

 

Dang....

 

It was a cloudy Saturday morning and the Pidgey had begun chirping to wake the citizens of New Bark Town.

 

Cloudy, Saturday, Morning, Pidgey, and Johto. We have a nice description.

 

One citizen wasn't so eager to get up, however. Eur lay in his bed, holding his pillow over his head in an attempt to deafen the noise of the bird Pokemon.

 

Eur is just Eury minus the 'Y'. You have a open mind, Eury. [insert Sarcasm Tag Here]

 

As Eur kept pressing the head tighter on top of his head, his mother, Janice, came in through the door and pulled the blankets off of him. “It's time to get up Eur. You, Amy

 

Rose the Hedgehog,

 

and Ethan all start your journey today.

 

Eur, Ethan, and Amy Rose the Hedgehog!

 

I don't want to be in this FanFic!

 

Amy, I was making a joke!

 

You need to go eat breakfast and prepare Totodile for the trip. That Pokemon is so immature. He found it funny to stick a Caterpie in my undergarments drawer this morning before I woke up.” Eur couldn't help but laugh.

 

Slap Stick Gold Comedy.

 

“Haha. That's my Totodile. Has he eaten yet?” As Eur was talking he got up out of bed and started walking out towards the kitchen. Janice followed him and responded, “He's eating now. He really loves that Carvanha Crunch cereal.”

 

WTF? They're eating Carvanha now!

 

Tasty, tasty!

 

Weirdo, weirdo! Freaking water types always have the weird cravings.

 

As they got into the kitchen Totodile was sitting on the floor stuffing his face with cereal. Unfortunately in his rampaging feast, he had gotten cereal and milk all over the floor. “Goddammit Eur, you need to take more care of this thing. MISMAGIUS!” As she yelled, a purple Pokemon came floating in through the door. “Mismagius, could you please use your Psychic to clean all this up?” Mismagius nodded and it's eyes grew a bright purple. All the cereal and milk started floating off the floor and back into Totodile's bowl. Totodile looked at Mismagius with a bewildered look

 

I look like that too if a monster just glowed and milk floated!

 

and then continued eating again.

 

CONTINUE EATING?!?!?! Weirdo Totodile!

 

I was hungry!

 

“Eur, eat and go get dressed. Be quick, Elm wants you at his lab at 8:30. It's already 8:00.”

 

Kay, Pidgey's! We need to attack Eur on his way to the lab so he'll be late!

 

Eur looked at his mom with a look of utter disbelief and said, “So you decide to wake me up when I only have thirty minutes to get ready? Unbelievable.”

 

Not as believable as waking up late and not getting a starter, but you get a Electric Bastard who won't listen to you and won't get in a Pokeball!

 

Eur grabbed a bagel out of the cupboard and ran back up to his room. He quickly put on his clothes while devouring the bagel. He grabbed some Poke Balls from his closet and went back to the kitchen. Totodile had finished eating and was waiting for Eur to come back. Janice looked back up at Eur and told him, “It's 8:15. Better get going.

 

It took him 15 minutes to eat a bagel and put on clothes?

 

Did you remember your Pokegear?” Eur felt his pockets to see if he remembered to grab it but it wasn't there. “Bon of a sitch.

 

Bon of a sitch?

 

I thought it was Son of a B***h?

 

Be right back.” Eur quickly ran to his room, grabbed the Gear, and ran back. “There, got it. Come on Toto, let's go. Love you mom!” “Love you too hun. See you later! Have a good time.”

Eur walked out the door with Totodile following close behind towards Professor Elm's lab. As he was walking he saw Amy not too far ahead with her Chikorita by her side.

 

Amy's Chikorita is nice and pretty and caring and pretty!

 

Eur decided to run up to her and say hi. So Eur quietly ran up behind her, grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her close yelling, “SODOMY!”

 

I thought it was SonAmy?

 

It's really ShadAmy.

 

He-he, Shadow. :3

 

Eur did not expect her to scream so loud. She quickly turned around and without even thinking slapped Eur across the face. As Eur fell to the ground holding his cheek, Amy covered her mouth with her hands and said, “Oh my Arceus Eur are you okay? I didn't know it was you, you scared the crap out of me.” She held out her hand to help Eur up.

 

Oh my Arceus? Really? I think it would be better if it was 'Oh my Qwilfish!'

 

Eur took her hand but as he was coming up, he pulled her down. She yelped and fell face first on the ground. “There we go, I think we're even. So anyways...what's up?” Amy stood back up and patted the dirt on her shirt off while saying, “Oh, nothing much. I'm kinda nervous though. I mean, we have to travel the entire Johto region. Just the three of us together.” “Amy, speaking of three, where's Ethan?” “Oh, he called me a couple minutes ago. He said he's already at the lab waiting for us to get there. So, we should hurry up.”

 

Go Pidgey's! Attack!

 

Amy and Eur started walking towards the lab, talking about stuff they did during the week. Totodile and Chikorita were following close behind, also talking to each other in their Pokemon lingo.

 

They said:

Toto: Isn't that Pichu guy such a God?

Chiko: I know right?

 

As they all reached Elm's lab, Amy picked up Chikorita and Eur pulled Totodile close telling him, “Toto, I swear to Arceus

 

Swear to Qwilfish!

 

if you misbehave you will face the most horrific punishment you can imagine. No more Carvanha Crunch cereal for a month! Am I understood?” Toto looked at Eur with a horrified face nodding slowly. The mere thought of not being able to eat the cereal made Totodile flinch. “Alrighty then, let's go.” The automatic doors swung open and they all walked in seeing Ethan and Elm talking to each other.

“Eur my man! Sup bro?” Ethan got up from his conversation and came over to bro fist Eur and hug Amy. “Bout time you guys got here, Elm was getting impatient.”

 

It just dawned on me that everyone has Pokemon, why go to Elm's.

 

“Indeed I was.” Elm got up from the couch and walked over to the three teens. He shook hands with Eur and Amy and said, “Now, let's get talking shall we? I'm sure you guys know why you're here. You're about to go on a journey all across Johto to take the Pokemon League Challenge.

 

I think Amy should be a Cornianter.

 

And Chikorita!!!

 

Now, how do you guys plan on doing this? Are you all going together or by yourselves?” Ethan spoke up and quickly said, “I'm planning on going by myself. I'm sure Cyndaquil and I can take care of ourselves.” Elm looked at Ethan and nodded. “Eur? Amy? What do you two plan on doing?”

Eur looked at Amy and she looked back. Eur knew she really didn't want to go by herself, so he smiled and said, “Amy and I are going together.” Amy smiled and whispered “thank you” to Eur. Elm smiled. “Very well then. So you guys don't end up taking the same path, I suggest Ethan goes north of Route 29 and detours through Dark Cave to get to Violet City. Your Cyndaquil's flame should provide enough light to see in the cave. Eur and Amy, you two should take the traditional path through Cherrygrove and Routes 30 and 31. Ethan will get to Violet faster, but you two should get more training in.

 

What's wrong Ethan? Leaving your friends. But maybe there will be sparks between Eur and Amy! (Hint-hint)

 

Now before you leave, I'll give you guys a tip. No, two tips. First tip, in Violet City there is a building called the Sprout Tower. If you go to the highest floor, you will find the Elder. If you can defeat him in a battle, he'll teach your Pokemon the move Flash. Second tip, the Gym Leader of Violet City is named Falkner.

 

I think that Falkner's real name is Fu*kner.

 

He uses Flying type Pokemon so Amy, you should probably catch something else as Chikorita might not do so well.” Chikorita stuck her tongue out at Elm and turned away from him. Amy laughed and picked Chikorita up hugging her. “It's okay honey.”

 

It's okay honey! But if I battle Fu*kner with you, he would kill you!

 

Elm looked at the three again and nodded. “Okay. You guys are ready. Be careful and have fun!” All three turned towards the door and said, “Thanks for all the help!”

They all walked towards Route 29 and as they approached it Ethan turned to Amy and Eur. “Well, I guess this is goodbye for now I guess. See you guys soon I hope!” Ethan hugged Amy, shook Eur's hand, then walked up north towards Dark Cave with Cyndaquil following close behind. Amy and Eur looked at each other and nodded. They began walking together towards Cherrygrove with Chikorita and Totodile. Their journey was now underway.

 

They nodded. No kiss or passionate hug? Lame....

 

It's Eury's story, Shadow!

 

I will read the rest of this FanFic! I want to read that epic battle between Eur and Fu*kner!

---------------------------------------

Thanks to my guest stars:

Pidgey, Amy Rose, Totodile, and Shadow the Hedgehog!

 

 

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

I just had an image of Valter Giratina coming out of nowhere and eating Giovanni.

 

That prologue is one helluva 'verse. I woulda thought it would just be Pikkomanz, though, holding their own society, instead of having humans interfere. Then the legendaries would get EVs and get stronger + protected by trainers while everyone else is stuck with no EVs in the wild.

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

I just had an image of Valter Giratina coming out of nowhere and eating Giovanni.

 

That prologue is one helluva 'verse. I woulda thought it would just be Pikkomanz, though, holding their own society, instead of having humans interfere. Then the legendaries would get EVs and get stronger + protected by trainers while everyone else is stuck with no EVs in the wild.

[Womi]

Centuries ago, a phoenix was born from ash.

Sorry, but this sentence was too funny. Ash should be capitalized, lololololol.

 

Sorry for taking the anime into this wonderful Fan Fic.

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Just noticed something in the normal chapters; I didn't read them last time:

 

FORMATTING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

It's so tiny and poorly-spaced! Don't center it, don't put it in microscopic print, and start a new, double-spaced paragraph every time there's a new speaker/thinker/subject! It's literally unreadable right now, and not because of the story's contents (I think).

 

But yeah. It's a good story, I think, but I can't really read it right now.

[Mehmani]

Eur is a blatant Mary Sue.