PikMan's Fanfic Reviews

[PikMan]

Just so you know, I am NOT ripping off Foe Fics. Not to the degree of -Pichu- anyway.

 

Hello, this is PikMan!

 

I'm Torchic!

 

I am known as Iggy.

 

I'll do my best to give them personality. Just let me know if I don't do a good job.

 

[spoiler=Review #1- Yugioh: The Big 12]

Prologue: The Sacred Cards

 

I awoke startled on the floor beside my bed. I felt a small pain in my back' date=' another nightmare. You see, about a month ago, I was on a school trip, our teacher allowed us to go the souvenir shop. I had glanced at a powerful Yugioh card I never seen before. “Poseidon: God of Sea”. I asked the owner what this card was and he replied by saying that it’s a one-of-a-kind card. The owner said there are 12 god cards in existence, but, the owner had given me the card for free if I promised to take good care of it. He told me that they were based on Greek mythology.[/i']

 

I thought this was Yugioh, not Percy Jackson! It was a good idea and all, but there's already EGYPTIAN god cards. And another thing: Can I get stats on that card?

 

I was surprised by giving me a powerful card but now I know why. Ever since I used this card, I get these weird nightmares, I now understand why, it’s a curse. I sound so idiotic right now, but there is. I can’t get rid of it, I tried destroying it, but it still came back, appearing in my deck.

 

Nice job taking that guy's advice and taking care of it!

 

“Yumi?”

 

And here we have the obligatory main character's name that starts with Y.

 

[What the-] I thought.

 

“Yumiiii…?” my mother had been calling me.

 

“One second, mom!” I quickly got ready, I totally forgot, today was the big tournament! Way before the class trip, I enter a qualifying match in the tournament. I won 7 duels which had qualified me to enter the national tournament, there were going to be a lot of duelists.

 

Exactly how many?

 

I ran out the room and checked my watch, 12:15. [No!] I thought to myself, I ran out the door and started my way to the tournament.

I finally got to the tournament, I was 15 minutes late! I went up to the duelist ID registration; the Id’s were also punched into your cards, only you can access them through your duel disks to prevent stealing.

 

“Huh? Who is that?” a man said in a white shirt with a tie.

 

“My..name is- Yumi… I.. am a qualifying duelist” I said out of breath.

 

“Sorry kid, but registration is over. You’re too late.” The man replied (Missing period)

 

"WHAT?! Fifteen minutes late and I can't register? What are the odds?"

 

Very probable.

 

IT'S CALLED SARCASM. IT'S QUITE POPULAR LATELY.

 

“Oh, come on! Please?”

 

"If I keep saying please will you let me in?"

 

“I have strict rules under-“the man was interrupted,

 

“Ah, so this is little Yumi,” a familiar man said.

 

“How do you know my name? Wait a sec… you’re…you’re Maximillion Pegasus!”

 

How did he get here? Is this before or after Duelist Kingdom? Pyramid of Light? GX?

 

“Why, yes I am,” Pegasus said in return.

 

“Oh my god, sir, I…why are you here?”

 

“Well, to watch my tournament of course! The winner challenges me, he can win a very rare card."

 

Now where have I heard that before...? Oh yeah, that Anime-only card the Ties of Friendship!

 

“Oh, wow. What card is it?”

 

“It’s named Athena: Goddess of Wisdom. It’s a very powerful God card.”

 

Isn't it coincidental that 2 guys with God cards are in the same general area?

 

And isn't there already an Athena card?

 

“You’re giving up a god card!?”

 

“Yes, but I doubt anyone will win against me.”

 

“Sir,” the man with the tie interrupted, “15 minutes until the first round of the tournament start. So far, 11 people have been eliminated from the tournament, only 9 remain. They each have won altogether 10 duels.”

 

I realized I only had won 7 duels before entering, I needed 3 more. “Wait, only 5 minutes!?”

 

“That is correct.” The man replied.

 

“Not to worry,” Pegasus replied. “ I have a little wager for you,”

 

“For me?

 

"Even though you don't have anything to do with the receptionist you need to confirm it!"

 

What is it?” I said.

 

“If you can beat me in a duel, I’ll allow you to enter!”

 

Isn't it a bit ironic that the guy people are supposed to duel last is the opponent in the very first duel of the fanfic?

 

“Defeat you!! How is that even possible!? You’re the world’s best duelist!”

 

Oh, this is BEFORE Duelist Kingdom, because he apparently hasn't been creamed by Yugi/Yami yet!

 

“Well, we’ll see!” Pegasus took out his deck. I was about to laugh, but he was serious. He inserted his deck and it became an official match.

 

“Well….alright, fine! Let’s duel!” I inserted my deck. I was about to duel the creator of this game, and there was no way out.

 

Oh great, a cliffhanger! Now I gotta read the rest of the Fanfic!

 

Aside from the Greek gods business, it was OK.

 

 

 

I do take suggestions, so please post them.

[Weather Report - Stand]

OH NO!! Hmm... let me guess... you're taking after Pichu, or Crabhelmet?

 

Actually after reading the review, it was OKAY, but really weak. You only lightly touched upon some of the many countless errors and plot holes the story had supplied you with, and in addition, I'd say you should throw out your review "helpers", since they really do nothing for you. Another problem is that you didn't outline what you thought of the story overall, nor did you give them a list of the things that they need to work on, or what they did really well. Now, I think that you're too nice to be a reviewer, plain and simple. You just aren't funny that way. but if you work at it, you can become informative.

 

Also, worst problem: You said they had a good clifhanger, and that you couldn't wait to see what happened next. That story was horrible and bland overall! Next time, catch that sort of thing.

 

So, after saying something moderately positive, let's see what everybody else has to say about the review series you've started after a bad influence.

[Guest]

I know Weather Report, and you, sir, are no Weather Report. I know Phantom Roxas, and you, sir, are no Phantom Roxas. I know Crab Helmet, and you, sir, are no Crab Helmet. I know -Pichu-, and you, sir, actually are pretty close to him in terms of quality.

[PikMan]

Someone lock this, please...

[Lord Smeagle]

UGH. The Foefics, it's like a virus.

[Weather Report - Stand]

And the Weather Reports!

 

... right?

[bury the year]

Don't be such a quitter next time. LOCKED.

[Guest]

Don't be such a quitter next time.

 

Don't be ridiculous. Accepting one's weaknesses and not continuing to pollute the internet with one's garbage is a very good thing.

[bury the year]

Don't be such a quitter next time.

 

Don't be ridiculous. Accepting one's weaknesses and not continuing to pollute the internet with one's garbage is a very good thing.

 

I prefer to take the more optimistic route that says everyone can improve, although that's being tested even more and more each day. Now, shall we stop posting in a locked thread? :3